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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 01 Mar 10 - 10:02 AM
Amos 01 Mar 10 - 11:16 AM
Little Hawk 01 Mar 10 - 11:49 AM
Rapparee 01 Mar 10 - 12:42 PM
Amos 01 Mar 10 - 12:58 PM
Amos 01 Mar 10 - 01:09 PM
Little Hawk 01 Mar 10 - 01:52 PM
Amos 01 Mar 10 - 03:50 PM
Little Hawk 01 Mar 10 - 04:44 PM
Amos 01 Mar 10 - 04:55 PM
Little Hawk 01 Mar 10 - 05:07 PM
GUEST,Esmee Been 01 Mar 10 - 06:35 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 10 - 06:44 PM
Amos 01 Mar 10 - 07:15 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 10 - 09:15 PM
Amos 01 Mar 10 - 09:35 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 10 - 10:26 PM
Little Hawk 01 Mar 10 - 10:43 PM
GUEST,Esmee Been 01 Mar 10 - 11:29 PM
Amos 01 Mar 10 - 11:42 PM
GUEST,Esmee Been 01 Mar 10 - 11:47 PM
Amos 02 Mar 10 - 12:54 AM
Rapparee 02 Mar 10 - 10:04 AM
Acme 02 Mar 10 - 10:13 AM
Amos 02 Mar 10 - 11:55 AM
MMario 02 Mar 10 - 12:23 PM
Amos 02 Mar 10 - 12:51 PM
Amos 02 Mar 10 - 12:55 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 10 - 01:28 PM
Amos 02 Mar 10 - 02:37 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 10 - 02:51 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 10 - 02:53 PM
Amos 02 Mar 10 - 03:03 PM
Little Hawk 02 Mar 10 - 03:24 PM
Amos 02 Mar 10 - 04:09 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 10 - 04:30 PM
Little Hawk 02 Mar 10 - 04:34 PM
Amos 02 Mar 10 - 04:49 PM
GUEST,Esmee Been 02 Mar 10 - 07:32 PM
Ebbie 02 Mar 10 - 08:06 PM
Amos 02 Mar 10 - 08:27 PM
Acme 02 Mar 10 - 09:35 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 10 - 09:42 PM
Janie 02 Mar 10 - 09:50 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 10 - 09:53 PM
Janie 02 Mar 10 - 10:10 PM
Janie 02 Mar 10 - 10:12 PM
MMario 03 Mar 10 - 08:54 AM
Little Hawk 03 Mar 10 - 10:45 AM
Amos 03 Mar 10 - 11:07 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 10:02 AM

Why are you asking me??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 11:16 AM

Because you seem to be an expert in the pathology.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 11:49 AM

Hmm. Still in denial, eh, Louie?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 12:42 PM

Louie, look: I sorry I teased you by calling you Norbert. And Louie, your neighbors are getting fed up by your constant playing (at full volume and at all hours) Metallica's rendition of "Too Fat Polka." Yes, I know it's a rare recording, but if it keeps up they're going to call the cops, and you know what that would mean.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 12:58 PM

This is remarkable--two narcissists sharing a joint illusion. Infection by viral meme? Twin souls split from an earlier lifetime? Some kind of cataclysmic karmic collision of psyches? The mind boggles. The key question is, is it pathological and is it infectious? Should Mom allow it in the house?

Enquiring minds want to know...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 01:09 PM

I just backtracked this thing to the point of departure, which was during an episode of extremely low temps. I think I get it now.

Cold weather reduces circulation, induces seasonal affect disorder, and slows down the cycle-time of the brain in those so affected below the rate needed to stay in touch with present time as it evolves moment to moment.

In response, the brain erects defenses of temporary insanity--constructs of false reality that do not need updating, sincve they are not anchored in real-time, and which serve to fend off confusion and dismay until warm weather comes back and enables the brain to catch up with the real world.

I am very pleased with this hypothesis, as I think it explains everything.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 01:52 PM

Ah...the frantic flailings...the desperate tactics of a mind lost in its own delusory mazes. Tragic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 03:50 PM

Well, LH, you may well argue that my view is delusion, as I argue yours is. But let's get down to hard tacks, since you are being such an ass about it.

I have thousands of subscribers to my reality who know where and who and what I am.

You have two.

I have a house full of evidence attesting to my life and nature.

You have...zilch. Nada. Unless you count the overheated ravings of your co-conspirator, the frozen Book Guy.

So pound sand, Little One. It shall not avail. My sense of self is unflawed, a fortress, a rock standing tall against your mad sea of defamatory froth.

Alternatively, seek chemical assistance from a professional.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 04:44 PM

First comes shock. Then denial. Then the hysterical attacks on others. These are recognizable and documented stages in this kind of case.

These "shadow" personas tend to generate strange stories about other fictional personas. The "Amos" persona, for instance, appears to have invested inordinate amounts of time in spinning seamy and bizarre stories about a licentious chimpanzee Madame named Chinga, supposedly the abusive and slatternly sister of a well-known male chimpanzee character who has starred in a series of popular detective stories. The "Amos" persona created the "Chinga" persona in order to attack a character of popular fiction who represents all the things to which Louie Troutfriend himself can never aspire, such as success, fame, courage, nice suits, a car that actually runs, and a walk-up office flat with a framed and signed photo of Primo Carnera on the wall.

Thus does envy drive madness. There are cures, though, for this dire malady....a strict 6-month fast in which one consumes only pure water, fresh Kiwi fruit, and ripe bananas has been shown to ease the more violent symptoms in 72% of respondents. Others, sadly, have not done so well. Some end up swallowing their own feet and finally turning themselves inside out. It's not a pretty sight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 04:55 PM

ROFLMAO.

Your assessment of Chongo's lifestyle is even more delusory than your assessment of mine!! Amazing. Wait til Chinga finds out how well Chongo is doing in your mythic universe. She'll probably invade it just to teach him a lesson in sharing.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 05:07 PM

The gusto of your hearty amusement matches my own, "Amos". ;-D You say that Chongo is fictional, yet you say that his alleged sister Chinga is not??? You threaten to have her invade his Universe???? How could she be anywhere but in his Universe if she is his (alleged) sister? It's not for me to answer that...I am not the one who concocted her.

Here's a suggestion, Louie: Stop opening beer bottles with your teeth! It causes poor dentition and it doesn't impress anyone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Esmee Been
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 06:35 PM

Louie? Louie Troutfriend? Is that really you?


Where have you been all of this time? We've looked for you for years.

Your mother was frantic to find you, but since she passed on I've been the only one still searching.


I have one question, dear Louie.


















What did you do with my goddamned car?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 06:44 PM

In celebration of the return of memory to Louie Troutfriend, I shall, at dinner tonight, raise a glass of Troutslayer beer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 07:15 PM

Good luck, pal. I have not yet volunteered to take on the mantle of this slimy concoction from the nether-world of your worst self-loathing. In fact, I'll pass. You can figure out how to deal with it without my contribution.

And what I said was Chinga might invade your mythic universe in order to wreak her revenge on her ne'er-do-well brother. From your point of view this might take the form of rather unsettled dreams which include an extremely pissed off female chimp dressed in Madame attire and carrying a sawed-off lead-weighted baseball bat.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 09:15 PM

Pish and also tush, Louie.

Are you drinking Ripple or Boone's Farm these days? When you run out of Budweiser, I mean.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 09:35 PM

Pish up your own tush, you fraudulent pseudo-snob.   


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 10:26 PM

I'm sorry, Louie, but I'm immediately respond. My copy of The Duke of Bedford's Book of Snobs seems to have gone temporarily missing. You mightn't have it, mightn't you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 10:43 PM

Louie doesn't read stuff like that. He reads Penthouse, Hustler, and the racing form.

On the other hand, his fantasy self, "Amos", does read stuff like that.

Hmmm....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Esmee Been
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 11:29 PM

Louie, Louie

Are you undercover? Are you calling yourself Amos now?

Honey honey honey, I've missed you so much for so long.


















Are you rich now?

Youre one and onlee Esmee


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 11:42 PM

Dear Gawd, I am being peppered with phantasms. Sheesh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Esmee Been
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 11:47 PM

Baby Baby Baby

If phantasms is anything like orgasms, I'm your gal!

























Your faithful long lost Esmee


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 12:54 AM

Man, I feel like Big Mick, just after the invention of Koko.

What a fucking shambles.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 10:04 AM

No, Louie, fucking isn't shambles. Unless you kick away that 2x4 that's holding the plywood up against the break in the roof over the bed and then the the whole thing will collapse on you again. Then you, Esmee (or whoever), and fiver or six hounds might get hurt, not to mention your black-velvet Elvis.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 10:13 AM

Hmmm. Do you think Esmee is Shambles? I haven't seen him around the 'cat for ages.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 11:55 AM

The notion of willfully imposing false identities on others -- not just in occasional repartee, as I have often done myself, but in a concentrated campaign of alteration and denial of identity -- is really interesting. I am reminded of Freud who once remarked "I am coming to the conclusion that every conversation involves at least four people. We shall have a great deal to say about this."

One of the interesting aspects is of course what the psychic resources are on which people draw their materials for this intentional discharacterization. Projection is the obvious answer, but perhaps that is glib. Or, at least, insufficient. For example, when Little Hawk or Rapaire decides to dream up lower-class white-trash iconology to impose on their chosen alter-ego for me, are they thinking of themselves, or perhaps more deeply their own mothers, or fathers? Or some other deep psychic well of blither and blather which feeds their cognitive processes at a ground-water level, uninspected except in its symptoms?

Or is the mechanism that informs their callow jeremiads perhaps Jungian in its nature, an acting out of deep archetypes such as the Joker, or the Brat, drawn from racial memories so ancient as to precede known history?

Secondly, if Mother's house is to be temporarily turned into a theater for this kind of histrionics, in the fashion of the prepubescent Andy Rooney calling his playmates together with "Let's have a play!", what future paths of development offer themselves? One of course would be to let the impulse die a dismal death through attrition. Its perpetrators are of course hoping that will not be the course, as it undermines the effectiveness of their jejune and childish creativity.

Well then, what about generating completely ridiculous and false characters for all hands, and forcing them into the discussions? Why not a cheap and tawdry masquerade ball undermining all claims on human dignity or intelligence? Given this prepubescent sinkhole of shallow displays of humor, shouldn't we all fall in? Should we paint Little Hawk as a fifth-grade autism-spectrum, attention-deficit ridden miscreant stained with water-colors and food-fights, a sort of mixture between Dennis the Menace and Shane? Should Stilly become a dyed-blonde teen-aged pole-dancer from a backwater bar in eastern Washington State? And should Rapaire be forced to wear the mantle of a perverted overweight bagman who earns his daily bread downloading child-porn using public library computers and selling it to junior-high aged hockey players?

Which way should Mom's loyal citizens proceed? I mean, I realize that this is kind of like trying to make sense of the Tea Party, but since there is nothing else of moment occurring in Mom's half-acre, wot the hell, Archie.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 12:23 PM

Amos, your mistake was in acknowledging their comments in the first place; now, because you have responded they are convinced that Louie is real and that he is you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 12:51 PM

Well, p'raps you are right. I just couldn't bring myself to let a bunch of teen-minded woo-woo cyber-raggers tell me I was not free to communicate.

Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor. Sometimes, it's just a cop-out.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 12:55 PM

And to make it perfectly clear, by "teen-minded" I meant puerile, raw, sophomoric, tenderfoot, unbaked, unfledged, unripe, unsophisticated, and wet behind the collective ears.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 01:28 PM

Louie, when I get wet behind my ears my hearing aids beep at me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 02:37 PM

'Ware your own mindless perseverance, Bagman. Your smell will give you away...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 02:51 PM

So will my hearing aid beeps, if you can hear them, which most people can't but a dog can.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 02:53 PM

I am reminded of a story about the late Dr. Samuel Johnson. A certain lady said to him, "Doctor Johnson, you smell." He replied, "Madam, you smell. I stink."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 03:03 PM

Said I to Rapaire, "You are ugly, sirrah!!"
"Both you and the Hawkster would shatter a jar!"
"Your belly and jowls and those wild bloodshot eyes!
Why you look like a bagman, not too well disguised!"

Yon Rapaire he rejoined, "Sir! You are just bemused!
"Your head has been spun by our mythic abuse!
"You're not in your right mind, you babble, instead!
"Go home and come back when you've sorted your head!"

I replied, "You are right sir, my brain's in a spin.
"And you are to blame for the state that it's in!
"But tomorrow, refreshed, I'll be bright as a pin,
"And will see you are both still as ugly as sin!"

Wynston Chatterly Fields, 1948


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 03:24 PM

Gad! It is simply incredible what reams of sophisticated and impassioned prose can spew forth from the mind of an unwashed and barely sentient trailer-dwelling, knuckle-dragging loser like Louie Troutfriend when he imagines that he is a clever and well-educated pontificator from the San Diego suburbs.

Astounding, really.

Perhaps if this syndrome were infectious and became more widespread it would herald the death of the Republican Party's rural base and hence the extinction of Republicanism itself!

If so, how could it be a bad thing? ;-)

Perhaps we should encourage this "Amos" persona rather than attempting to get Louie to recover awareness of his true identity?

Whaddya think, Rapaire?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 04:09 PM

As Sherlock Holmes once pointed out, Hawkster, when all likely explanations are eliminated, the one that remains, however unlikely, must be the answer. Consider the possibility, strange though it seems, that this whole Troutsnout game of yours is just a massive opium dream, stirred into being by your suppressed resentment at my frequent sallies against your person, for all of wehich I do no most profusly apologize (indeed, as profusely as I do everything!), and filtered through your own inestimable powers of delusion hallucination imagination..

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 04:30 PM

Ah, yes, dear Sherlock. You do know that his name originally was Sherrinford Holmes, don't you? He changed it while at Rugby School because all of the Uppers in D-Block were calling him "Sherry" and demanding Certain Favors.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 04:34 PM

A crisis of identity is a painful thing, particularly when occassioned by extreme peer pressure. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 04:49 PM

The voice of hard experience has spoken!! (Two of them, actually...).


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Esmee Been
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 07:32 PM

If Louie Troutfriend is a massive opium dream, then what am I? I'm here to tell you, Louie is real!

You guys, you're forcing me to show my hand. Louie don't know about it, but he's got a kid from that last time he came through town. It's been a while, and lemme think, little Johnny is about 12 now. Yup. Turns 12 in early April. The kid came along after that orgy party down in the park from the summer before. Do the math. Oh, and he's actually Thelma's boy. She was at that party also. But what the heck, we know Johnny is Louie's 'cause he looks just like him.

Louie was through town that time on his way to visiting various Temples of some sort. Golden Balls? Something like that.

It is you, Louie, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 08:06 PM

This is Number 34444


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 08:27 PM

Oh, stop it, George.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 09:35 PM

Oh oh, Amos used Little Hawk's name.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 09:42 PM

By George, I believe he's got it! (I hope he sees the doctor in time.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 09:50 PM

Jeez, I go off and get a life for a couple weeks and all hell breaks loose here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 09:53 PM

What is this "life" of which you speak?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 10:10 PM

I dunno, but as soon as Lizzie Cornish figures it out, she'll let you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 10:12 PM

Just joking, Grasshopper.

The answer to your question can be found in post 34444.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 08:54 AM

Janie reveals the secret of the cosmos! This entire thread is nothing but a figment of Ebbie's imagination!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 10:45 AM

Amos, you accuse me falsely. You are in error, sir. I am not the only one here who is capable of composing bizarre "Guest" posts under assumed names, you know. Think about it.

Then too, this Esmee Bean may actually be real. I mean, who am I to say? I know nothing about the origin of those posts, so anything is possible, I suppose.

Esmee may be a surviving relative of the notorious Sawney Bean!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 11:07 AM

Well, sir, your repute for being the perpetrator of such things is entirely your own responsibility; even if you did not do it this time, you are the most likely suspect for good reason, you will understand. So I leave it to you del with your fellow deludees and co-conspirators as you see fit.

A


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