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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 13 Aug 05 - 11:47 AM
Bunnahabhain 13 Aug 05 - 11:25 AM
Bunnahabhain 13 Aug 05 - 11:05 AM
Amos 12 Aug 05 - 08:31 PM
Amos 12 Aug 05 - 05:04 PM
Amos 12 Aug 05 - 04:42 PM
MMario 12 Aug 05 - 03:26 PM
beardedbruce 12 Aug 05 - 03:12 PM
Amos 12 Aug 05 - 02:51 PM
MMario 12 Aug 05 - 01:00 PM
Amos 12 Aug 05 - 12:53 PM
Amos 12 Aug 05 - 11:06 AM
Bunnahabhain 12 Aug 05 - 11:00 AM
MMario 12 Aug 05 - 10:27 AM
Amos 12 Aug 05 - 10:25 AM
MMario 12 Aug 05 - 10:18 AM
Acme 12 Aug 05 - 12:46 AM
Acme 12 Aug 05 - 12:45 AM
Acme 12 Aug 05 - 12:44 AM
Acme 12 Aug 05 - 12:42 AM
Acme 12 Aug 05 - 12:36 AM
Amos 11 Aug 05 - 09:44 PM
Amos 11 Aug 05 - 09:41 PM
Amos 11 Aug 05 - 08:38 PM
rumanci 11 Aug 05 - 07:40 PM
Amos 11 Aug 05 - 07:33 PM
Acme 11 Aug 05 - 04:11 PM
Acme 11 Aug 05 - 03:59 PM
Amos 11 Aug 05 - 03:39 PM
MMario 11 Aug 05 - 01:32 PM
Amos 11 Aug 05 - 01:17 PM
MMario 11 Aug 05 - 12:14 PM
Amos 11 Aug 05 - 12:05 PM
MMario 11 Aug 05 - 10:52 AM
Amos 11 Aug 05 - 10:48 AM
MMario 11 Aug 05 - 10:25 AM
Amos 10 Aug 05 - 08:18 PM
Acme 10 Aug 05 - 07:02 PM
Amos 10 Aug 05 - 03:01 PM
Amos 10 Aug 05 - 02:08 PM
rumanci 10 Aug 05 - 01:46 PM
Acme 10 Aug 05 - 01:39 PM
Amos 10 Aug 05 - 10:31 AM
MMario 10 Aug 05 - 09:05 AM
Amos 10 Aug 05 - 08:58 AM
rumanci 10 Aug 05 - 08:55 AM
MMario 10 Aug 05 - 08:50 AM
Amos 10 Aug 05 - 12:29 AM
Amos 09 Aug 05 - 11:39 PM
Amos 09 Aug 05 - 03:45 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 05 - 11:47 AM

Since the 8th of May 2003, I have written to this thread alone 1, 797 times.

SRS has written to it 908 times, while the bold Rapaire has written to it 1,754 times.

Among those who pursue quality over quantity, MMario has written to the thread 530 times, rumanci 53 times, and Bunnahabhain, 165 times, Rustic Rebel has written to it 327 times and Little Hawk 512 times.

A mother needs to know these things -- especially when composing her will.

Know that we have divided
In three our kingdom: and 'tis our fast [first] intent
To shake all cares and business from our age [of our state];
Conferring [confirming] them on younger strengths [years], while we
Unburden'd crawl toward death. Our son of IDaho,
And you, our no less loving son of San Diego,
We have this hour a constant will to publish
Our daughters' several dowers, that future strife
May be prevented now. The several princes, Texas, Penn, and Sussex,
Great rivals in our youngest daughter's love,
Long in our court have made their spinny sojourn,
And here are to be answer'd. Tell me, my daughters,--
Since now we will divest us both of rule,
Interest of territory, cares of state,--
Which of you shall we say doth love their Mother most,
That we our largest bounty may extend
Where nature doth with merit challenge?


Smells like trouble a brewin', you ask me...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 13 Aug 05 - 11:25 AM

And another idea. We should have a Moab forced scansion competition. I submit this as the fist entry.

I've never sailed the Amazon,
I've never reached Brazil;
But the Don and the Magdalena
They can go there when they will!

   Yes weekly From Southampton,
   Great steamers white and gold
   Go rolling down to Rio
   (Roll down- roll down to Rio!)
   And I'd like to roll to Rio
   Some day before I'm old!

I've never seen a Jaguar,
Nor yet an Armadill-
o dilloing in his armour,
and I s'pose I never will,
   
   Unless I go to Rio
   These wonders to behold-
   Roll down-roll down to Rio-
   Roll really down to Rio
   (Roll down- roll down to Rio!)
   Oh, I'd love to roll to Rio
   Some day before I'm old!


The Beginning of the Armadilloes

It's quite nice to sing.
It


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 13 Aug 05 - 11:05 AM

I suspect an unususally high Shatner level has sent Mom into Hibernation. We must grab our trusty spatulas and remove every last trace of this menace to where he he should be, fighting Klingons a long way away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 08:31 PM

SPeaking of falls, wake up, Maw -- it's still summer!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 05:04 PM

SRS:

In answer to your earlier question, it arrived in their e-zine by email yesterday.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 04:42 PM

An orbit is not a fall; it is a tension between a fall and a fly.
WIthout the fall, we would fly off. Without the fly, we would all fall. While not imprisoned, as we would be in a flue, we are clearly held firmly between the fly and the fall.

A flea and a fly, in a flue
Were imprisoned! So what could they do?
Said the flea, "Let us fly!"
Said the fly, "Let us flee!"
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
(But the flea, not a flyer, fell after fleeing through the flaw in the flue, while the fly, having flight, fell not and flew off from the flue.)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 03:26 PM

Quick! Grab hold of something before it falls out from under us!


and someone see if they can catch Gluon - he doesn't have any hands to hold on with!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 03:12 PM

Amos,


"I didn't say it was falling."

Ah, but the earth is also in orbit around the sun, and, as you well know, and orbit is a continuous fall around a gravitational point.


So the Earth IS falling!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 02:51 PM

8808!!

Well, if he moves, he's rotating in 3 dimensions, then. Happy?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 01:00 PM

Ha! Right!

If *that* were true then we'd be heavy half the day and lighter the other half of the day! I been in elavators y'know! I know what happens when you go up or down.

I like Pterry's explanation betterer. The Turtle Moves!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 12:53 PM

MM:

I didn't say it was falling. It is rotating, and the edge goes down, around, and comes back up on the other side just like your hoop when you roll it down the road.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 11:06 AM

Ahhh, Bun, quelle richesse!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 11:00 AM

We've not kippled for a while, and this offers a different view to the last poem,

The secret of modern machinery

We were taken from the ore-bed and the mine,
We were melted in the furnace and the pit--
We were cast and wrought and hammered to design,
We were cut and filed and tooled and gauged to fit.
Some water, coal, and oil is all we ask,
And a thousandth of an inch to give us play:
And now, if you will set us to our task,
We will serve you four and twenty hours a day!

    We can pull and haul and push and lift and drive,
    We can print and plough and weave and heat and light,
    We can run and race and swim and fly and dive,
    We can see and hear and count and read and write!

Would you call a friend from half across the world?
   If you'll let us have his name and town and state,
You shall see and hear your cracking question hurled
Across the arch of heaven while you wait.
Has he answered? Does he need you at his side-
You can start this very evening if you choose
And take the Western Ocean in the stride
O seventy thousand horses and some screws!

    The boat-express is waiting your command!
    You will find the Mauritania at the quay,
    Till her captain turns the lever 'neath his hand,
    And the monstrouos nine-decked city goes to sea.

Do you wish to make the mountains bare their head
And lay their new-cut forests at your feet?
Do you want to turn a river in its bed,
Or plant a barren wilderness with wheat?
Shall we pipe aloft and bring you water down
From the never-failing cisterns of the snows,
To work the mills and tramways in your town,
And irrigate your orchards as it flows?

    It is easy! Give us dynamite and drills!
    Watch the iron-shouldered rocks lie down and quake,
    As the thirsty desert-level floods and fills,
    And the valley we have dammed becomes a lake.

But remember, please, the Law by which we live,
We are not built to comprehend a lie,
We can neither love nor pity nor forgive.
If you make a slip in handling us you die!
We are greater than the Peoples or the Kings-
Be humble, as you crawl beneath our rods!--
Our touch can alter all created things,
   We are everything on earth--except The Gods!
      
    Though our smoke may hide the Heavens from your eyes,
    It will vanish and the stars will shine again,
    Because, for all our power and weight and size,
    We are nothing more than children of your brain!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 10:27 AM

The earth is falling?


THE EARTH IS FALLING!!!!!



Help?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 10:25 AM

When Shelley writes "our calculations have outrun our conception; we have eaten more than we can digest," it is hard to believe that he was writing early in the nineteenth century and not early in the twenty-first. For when he claims "man, having enslaved the elements, remains himself a slave," he seems to have captured perfectly the great threat of modern technology in our day

Ibid.

Thanks for an interesting link, SRS!

MM:

The sun doesn't come up. The earth goes down, but all motion is relative.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 10:18 AM

Morning again Mom. How come the sun comes up every morning if it doesn't revolve around the Earth? Huh? How come Mom?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 12:46 AM

All of this came from a very interesting article by Paul Cantor called The Scientist and the Poet in The New Atlantis (online, of course!)

8800


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 12:45 AM

A pithy quote:

The worthiest professor of physics would be one who could show the inadequacy of his text and diagrams in comparison to nature and the higher demands of the mind.

?Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 12:44 AM

from William Blake:

The Atoms of Democritus
And Newton's Particles of light
Are sands upon the Red sea shore,
Where Israel's tents do shine so bright.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 12:42 AM

Science poetry

"Steamboats, Viaducts, and Railways": (Worsworth)

Motion and Means, on land and sea at war
With old poetic feeling, not for this,
Shall ye, by Poets even, be judged amiss!
Nor shall your presence, howsoe'er it mar
The loveliness of nature, prove a bar
To the Mind's gaining that prophetic sense
Of future change, that point of vision, whence
May be discovered what in soul ye are.
In spite of all that beauty may disown
In your harsh features, Nature doth embrace
Her lawful offspring in Man's art; and Time,
Pleased with your triumphs o'er his brother Space,
Accepts from your bold hands the proffered crown
Of hope, and smiles on you with cheer sublime.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 12:36 AM

We get New Scientist in paper and digital form at my university, but the digital form is delayed six months due to agreements with the publisher. My search on the terms you supplied don't turn up anything. When was this piece published? I can't get to the public New Scientist web page right now, it seems to be down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 05 - 09:44 PM

That should be "wish", not which. But never mind, because unless you subscribe to New Scientist, which I don't, all you get is the following tidbit:


"The theory was previously used to explain inertial mass - the property of matter that resists acceleration - but it has been extended to gravitational mass, which is the property of matter that feels the tug of gravity.

For decades, mainstream opinion has held that something called the Higgs field gives matter its mass, mediated by a particle called the Higgs boson. But no one has yet seen the Higgs boson, despite considerable time and money spent looking for it in particle accelerators."

Ahmmmmm.... the nature of this special vacuum condition is most inneresting.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 05 - 09:41 PM

Much more important is this alluring headline from NewScientist.com:

"Is jiggling vacuum the origin of mass?
Where mass comes from is one of the deepest mysteries of nature but now a controversial new theory points the finger at matter in a quantum vacuum".

Now there's food for reflection. The very ESSENCE of somethingness comes about because of a nothingness. Wow. I mean this is TOO transcendental to be believed!! Like, wow, dude!! This is really far out.

Which the website weren't down!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 05 - 08:38 PM

Nothing better than toeing the feline and making the puissons purion and on.

ANyway, this shocking scientific discovery is probably not a great surprise: porn distracts the mind!! What'll they think of next!!

August 11, 2005
      
If your partner seems to be ignoring you after a flash of nudity on the television screen, it might not be his or her fault. New research indicates that people shown erotic or gory images frequently fail to process what they see immediately afterwards.


Portions of the research exploring this effect by Vanderbilt University psychologist David Zald and Yale University researchers Steven Most, Marvin Chun and David Widders will be published in the August issue of Psychonomic Bulletin and Review.

"We observed that people fail to detect visual images that appeared one-fifth of a second after emotional images, whereas they can detect those images with little problem after neutral images," Zald, assistant professor of psychology and member of the Vanderbilt Kennedy Center for Research on Human Development, said.

Anyone who has ever slowed down to look at an accident as they are driving by?or has been stuck behind someone who
has?is familiar with the "rubbernecking" effect. Even though we know we need to keep our eyes on the road, our emotions of concern, fear and curiosity cause us to stare out the window at the accident and slow to a crawl as we drive by.

Zald and his colleagues set out to determine if the rubbernecking effect carries over into more minute lapses of attention through two separate experiments.

In the first experiment, research subjects were shown hundreds of pictures that included a mix of disturbing images along with landscape or architectural photos. They were told to search the images for a particular target image. An irrelevant, emotionally negative or neutral picture preceded the target by two to eight items. The closer the negative pictures were to the target image, the more frequently the subject failed to spot the target. In a subsequent study, which has not yet been published, the researchers substituted erotic for negative images and found the same basic effect.

"We think that there is essentially a bottleneck for information processing and if a certain type of stimulus captures attention, it can basically jam up that bottleneck so subsequent information can't get through," Zald said. "It appears to happen involuntarily." ...





Just in case this was something you didn't know...TEMPORARY BLINDNESS!! Mom was right all along!!

Next you'll hear they have found rudimentary hair follicles on Gargoyle's palms...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 11 Aug 05 - 07:40 PM

the puisses should be pourring ?

how miaouvellous

or is that a bit too catty for this time of night ?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 05 - 07:33 PM

It is possible that puissons should be pourrions.   It seems to be untranslateable throughout the change-stream.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Aug 05 - 04:11 PM

Into Portugese:
A mãe de toda a merda, o hearth do tenderness e a vida, derramam o amor que queima-se com que charmed a terra, e, quando uma se está encontrando no vale, um sente que a terra é nubile e transborda do sangue; Que seu centro immense, levantado por um coração, é do amor como o deus, carne como a mulher. E isso que contem, sap e raios grandes, o swarming grande de todos os embriões! Passe-me assim lápis dos melharucos do meu p '! Porque não são agudos! Desde que nós os puissons a remanescer nos fixamos nos braços da mãe.

then into French:

La mère de toute l'excrément, hearth de la tenderness et la vie, renversent l'amour qui se brûle avec que charmed la terre, et, quand un se trouve dans la vallée, un sent que la terre est nubile et transborde du sang ; Que son centre immense, soulevé par un coeur, est de l'amour comme le dieu, la viande comme la femme. Et cela qui compteront, sap et rayons grands, les swarming grand de tous embryons ! Il passe m'ainsi crayon des mésanges de mon p '! Parce que ce ne sont pas aigus ! Depuis que nous les puissons reste dans eux nous fixons dans les bras de la mère.

then into Italian:

La madre di tutto l'escremento, hearth della tenderness e la vita, invertono l'amore che si brucia con che charmed la terra, e, quando uno si trova nella valle, sente che la terra è nubile e trasborda del sangue; Che il suo centro immenso, sollevato da un cuore, è un amore come il dio, la carne e la donna. E ciò che conteranno, sap e raggi grandi, i swarming grande di qualsiasi embrione! Lo passa così matita cincie di mio p '!' Perché non sono acuti! Da quando puissons resta in loro noi fissiamo nelle braccia della madre.

Back into English:

Mother of all excrement,
hearth of tenderness and life,
inverts love that burns with that charmed the earth,
and, when finds in goes them,
feels that the earth is marriageable and trasborda of the blood; That its immense center,
raised from a heart,
is a love like the God,
the meat and the woman.
And that that they will count, sap and great beams,
the swarming large of whichever embryo!
It passes therefore matita cincie of mine p '!'
Because they are not acute!
From when puissons he remains in they we fix in the arms of the mother.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Aug 05 - 03:59 PM

This is what Babelfish spewed out:

The Mother of Any Shit,
the hearth of tenderness and life,
Pours the love burning with the which charmed ground,
And, when one is lying on the valley,
one feels That the ground is nubile and overflows of blood;
That its immense centre, raised by a heart,
Is of love like god, flesh like the woman.
And that it contains, large sap and rays, the great swarming of all the embryos!
Thus pass to me my p' tits pencils!
Because they are not acute!
Since we puissons to remain secure
In the arms of the Mother.

And of course, you know where this can lead. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 05 - 03:39 PM

Well, I may as well confess it...the original -- up to the crayons part -- is from Artur Rimbaud, the mad French poet. But I adapted it to the greater purpose of Raising Mother.

I figger the end justifies the means, where Mom is concerned.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Aug 05 - 01:32 PM

d*mn me! I was right...you WERE talking crayons!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 05 - 01:17 PM

Oh, okay, seeing as you posted all struckout, I'll take it back too.

Here's a translation, I think:

The Mother of All Excrement, birthplace of tenderness and Life,
Throws burning love at the parched Earth,
And, lying in a valley, you can feel
That the Earth grows nubile and swollen with blood;
That her immense bosom, uplifted by a soul,
Is to love, god-like, and to flesh, like a woman.
And surrounds, rich in energy and warm beams,
The earthen nest of all our embryos!
So pass me my wee crayons,
For they are blunt, not sharp!
So that we may rest safe
In the arms of the Mother.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Aug 05 - 12:14 PM

Now Amos, don'tr be gettin' your dandruff rough dander up. You know I don't have a thorugh edjumacation in the finer arts - sometimes you just go over my head.

I like the line about the tenderness of veal though - good way to start.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 05 - 12:05 PM

Geeze, thanks, MM. You guys are getting top billing in my will. LOL!!!

Here I am trying to support the Mother with all I've got, and all I hear is that it ain't very satisfactory.

Well, ok. I can retire to my brown study, and offer an occasional insipid remark or perhaps inject an unattributed bit of highbrow plagiarism every now and then. I can't take my marbles and go home, since the consensus is I have already lost 'em. Mebbe there's a spare birth on that Slime Boat where Rapaire is working.   

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Aug 05 - 10:52 AM

gee - give the guy some encouragement and all of a sudden he's talking forcemeat of embryos , nubile terrorist and de birdies singing. there's something in there about passing me the spitting crayons too.

I think his meds may need adjusting again.

Nurse!

Nurse!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 05 - 10:48 AM

La MEre de Toute Merde, le foyer de tendresse et de vie,
Verse l'amour brûlant à la terre ravie,
Et, quand on est couché sur la vallée, on sent
Que la terre est nubile et déborde de sang;
Que son immense sein, soulevé par une âme,
Est d'amour comme dieu, de chair comme la femme.
Et qu'il renferme, gros de sève et de rayons,
Le grand fourmillement de tous les embryons !
Passez-moi donc mes p'tits crayons!
Car ils ne sont point aigus!
Puisque nous puissons rester secure
Dans les bras de la Mere.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Aug 05 - 10:25 AM

Morning Mom! Come on! rise and shine! It's time to (as Dolly Levi reminds us) to spread a little fertilizer around !


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 08:18 PM

Good thing ya cracked a smile right there at the end, Mag, or I woulda had to shift into High German, which I don't know.

Either that or Third Degree Burns (Wen a' the woorild cann mak ye smoile....).

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 07:02 PM

Showoff! :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 03:01 PM

A ladye theyre was too, ande moste fayre
Whose postings alle beleevd were all too Rayre
In Luhve and Passion none could Her surpasse
Of featyure fine and fair of fayce, this Lasse.

She alle men did surprise, by saying sure
That alle unloved Squeejes should to Her
Be sente post-haste that she with care and Hugges
Could soon revive them of their Rubbery Bugges
Undo theyre Wuden Natures and By love of Maid
To vibrant gentle Squeejes changed she they!

This maiden fayre, Rusticke yclept, in sooth
Knew well Alle Squuejes, and bespoke fulle trooth.
And thene Mysteriouslie Vanished, like unto a Mouse
So fulle withe Squeejes were here Maylebox and her House!
Buried in Squeejes, yet she shalle Prevayle
So fulle her hearte, which telles the Richer Tale

Though she with Sueejes now her Tyme doth burne
YEt shall she Once Agayne returne,
Like to Faiyre Venus, known as Even Star,
When all such squeejes full revived are.

The Handmaiden's Tale, from
"Lost Subtexts of Chaucer",
Oregano, Thyme, Cadwallader, eds.
Wiley Evasions, Inc. New York, 1959


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 02:08 PM

DIgesting Alaskans? Does one bake them, or serve them as mush? Do they put hair on your chest and make you husky? Yukon always tell someone whose been eating Alaskans. He has furry teeth.

A

FORGIVENESS

To understand
is to forgive,
even oneself.

Alexander Chase

(I may need this sentiment at this rate!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 01:46 PM

Rapaire swooped into Chat briefly a couple of days ago

Internet access is sparse and dodgy for him ........or maybe Alaskans are just worred about being catalogued by him for future digestion here when they'd rather stay reserved   ??

hmmmm
lol


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 01:39 PM

If anyone steps forward and wants to claim your work, be careful. They might try to impound your doggerel pound.

Anyone heard from Rapaire lately?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 10:31 AM

A loverly vision, MM! Thanks for the enthusiasm, it means much!

Maybe I should illustrate them with little cartoons. LOL. Kill some trees and add to the great human Landfill Of Studied Irrelevancies!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 09:05 AM

"The Doggerel Pound" sound like a working title to me.

jayzus, tho' Amos! If people can make money off things like '101 uses for a dead cat' - a collection of your one-offs should make a mint!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 08:58 AM

Thank you, MM, for your most kind comment.

If such an effort were made, and such a collection created, it would enable all my wee sparks to sit with each other in one place, instead of being scattered hither and yon -- a sort of doggerel pound. I am sure it would make all the little doggerels happier, although it would not much improve the world. It suggests a new song to celebrate the notion, Git ALong, Ya Li'l Doggerels, which I am sure you saw coming a few moments ago.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 08:55 AM

wot ?????????

you mean they're not genuine ?

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


I've been scouring bookshops high and low for them ........sigh


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Subject: OT:serious comment
From: MMario
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 08:50 AM

y'know, Amos - some serious consideration should be given to collecting all your little snippets etc such as 'Songs from the Aincient Chandeliers' and making a little collection of them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 12:29 AM

Hasty correction to the second verse which a poor, starving copy-clerk miscopied, for which he suffered a month on a diet of goose-quill shavings and thickened copy-book ink.

From men and dogs and ghosts

as anyone can naturally see from the scansion, should read:

From women, men and dogs and ghosts

The work will now conform with the original notes from Garibaldi's field collection efforts.

With due apologies,


Gudgeon, Gunter and Pintle, Pubs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 05 - 11:39 PM

THere was a thread hung on a site,
Away, the gallant Mudcat-O
Where lubbers posted day and night
And say farewell to the MOAB-O!

And on this thread there was many a post!
Away, the gallant Mudcat-O
From men and dogs and ghosts
Rise again, again, the MOAB-O

And when them lubbers was asleep
Away, the gallant Mudcat O
This thread she slipped into the deep
Come rise again, the MOAB-O!

There was a topmast man just there
Away the gallant Mudcat O
And he seized her by her silvery hair
And raised again the MOAB O!

Now she lies sleeping on the hard
Away the gallant Mudcat O
Saved by a hand from a tops'l yard
Come rise again the MOAB O!

So, sailors learn once and for all
Away, the gallant Mudcat O!
Be 'ware lest yer sainted Mother fall,
And rise again, the MOAB O!

Songs from the Ancient Chandeliers
Collected by Wilhelmina Garibaldi, 1928
From the singing of Bathtub Topsailmen
Gudgeon, Gunter and Pintle , New Bedford, 1932


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 05 - 03:45 PM

I ain't chewin' him, Maw -- he's me bruvver!

A


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