Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134] [1135] [1136] [1137]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 26 Jan 04 - 05:20 PM
Tweed 26 Jan 04 - 05:10 PM
Amos 26 Jan 04 - 04:45 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 04 - 04:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jan 04 - 03:13 PM
s6k 26 Jan 04 - 12:18 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 04 - 11:32 AM
Amos 26 Jan 04 - 08:40 AM
s6k 26 Jan 04 - 04:46 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 04 - 11:44 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 04 - 11:41 PM
khandu 25 Jan 04 - 11:34 PM
Little Hawk 25 Jan 04 - 11:13 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 04 - 11:04 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 25 Jan 04 - 10:56 PM
Little Hawk 25 Jan 04 - 10:31 PM
Amos 25 Jan 04 - 10:25 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 25 Jan 04 - 10:03 PM
Amos 25 Jan 04 - 09:16 PM
khandu 25 Jan 04 - 09:10 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 04 - 08:31 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 25 Jan 04 - 08:09 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 04 - 07:43 PM
Amos 25 Jan 04 - 07:14 PM
GUEST 25 Jan 04 - 06:30 PM
Rustic Rebel 25 Jan 04 - 03:16 AM
GUEST,Leonard Nimoy 23 Jan 04 - 11:35 AM
Little Hawk 22 Jan 04 - 07:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Jan 04 - 07:10 PM
khandu 22 Jan 04 - 06:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Jan 04 - 06:48 PM
Rapparee 22 Jan 04 - 06:38 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 22 Jan 04 - 06:34 PM
GUEST,Run! 22 Jan 04 - 06:33 PM
GUEST,Look out! 22 Jan 04 - 06:32 PM
GUEST,Uh-oh! 22 Jan 04 - 06:32 PM
Rapparee 22 Jan 04 - 06:20 PM
Amos 22 Jan 04 - 11:57 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Jan 04 - 11:10 AM
Tweed 22 Jan 04 - 09:26 AM
khandu 21 Jan 04 - 11:09 PM
Amos 21 Jan 04 - 10:55 PM
Rapparee 21 Jan 04 - 10:48 PM
khandu 21 Jan 04 - 09:36 PM
Amos 21 Jan 04 - 07:55 PM
Little Hawk 21 Jan 04 - 06:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Jan 04 - 06:19 PM
Rapparee 21 Jan 04 - 03:00 PM
Amos 21 Jan 04 - 01:38 PM
Rapparee 21 Jan 04 - 01:31 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:



Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 05:20 PM

No, Amos! No! Do not go after either the North or South Decoder Rings! Horrible things lurk on your journey! Nasty, slimy things! Things that best go unknown, things that are best left under their rocks, things that neither mankind nor womankind were meant to know! Amongs the mountainous way to the North Decoder Ring lurks Danger like the Bozeman, the Pierre, the Wyo, not to mention the Sorcha of Torrington (a good sort, actually, but surrounded by The Corgis).

Oh, heck, if you really want to go, don't let me stop you. But, if you don't come back because The Worst Has Happened, can I have your baseball glove?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 05:10 PM

Pore pore smartass GUEST....you habv stumbled into a hellhole fram wich thar iz no way out obv! An' also served to only acclimate the situation found in here as the Ilks habv been stirred and shaken by yore insensibel comments.   I hope you an yore asshole buddy Bill Shatner iz happy now..you two dorks habv gotten the Poit Lariat screwed up from hollering and iz now in some kind of spasmodemous peroxidizm wif much foaming and gnashing obv hiz four good teef obver yore uncohorant rhesus. Howsomebver, I will pray fore you bof, az I am a good sort, and can only hop thet scorpions will somehow end up in yore fruit obv the loons and gnaw yore nuts clean off obv the bof obv you.

Yerz,
Tweed
K.Obv.T.R.Obv.T.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 04:45 PM

So no-one will step forward? I will!! I will go on this mission and will bring back the Decoder Ring to the Halls of MOAB. And I will shame one of each other species here in MOABLaandia into coming with me, but willy or nilly, I am on my way.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 04:28 PM

You can also get these rings in Bismark or Fargo. They are called, respectively, South or North Decoder Rings.

Never forget That Which Has Been Written By The Elves:

Three Rings for the Joe Clones under the sky,
Seven for the CHFC as they sit stoned,
Nine for Bee-Dubya doomed to clays,
One for King Khandu on his dark throne
In the Land of MOAB where the BS lays.
One Decoder Ring to rule them all, One Decoder Ring to find them,
One Decoder Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of MOAB where the BS lays.
Doo dah, doo dah, in the Land of MOAB where the BS lays,
Oh, de doo dah days.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 03:13 PM

Ah, yes... The decoder ring...

Well, Amos, regretfully, I cannot send you a decoder ring. You see, there are only three sources for Official MOAB BS Decoder Rings.

The first is the navel of Holy Trinity of BS member Britney Spears. The second is the left nipple of Holy Trinity of BS member Barbara Streisand. And the third is the member of Holy Trinity of BS member Bill Shatner (the real one).   

Official MOAB BS Decoder Rings carry a tremendous charge of Psi and Chi and other New Age BS type stuff so the members of the Holy Trinity of BS are extremely reluctant to part with them. I got mine by posing as a hotel custodian and snagging Ms Spears' ring from a bedside table while she was in the Jaccuzi. Little Hawk and khandu got theirs by having sex with Ms Streisand and Mr. Shatner, though it's not exactly clear who had sex with whom, whether any parties involved achieved orgasm or if money changed hands.

I'm sure that all three Holy Trinity of BS members have new rings by now, so, if you really want one, just decide who you would most like to bang and go for it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: s6k
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 12:18 PM

Nope! I'm not tired of MOAB!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 11:32 AM

Dear Guest of 6:30 p.m. yesterday, when I didn't have a connection to respond to you with:

Define "everyone" as in your statement "everyone is getting tired...."

That's a tall order, son (or daughter). Have you queried everyone? Have you asked Amos if he's getting tired of MOAB? Khandu? Have you asked my brother Tony? Do you even know my brother Tony, and if so, why would you want to? After all, he's the only person I know of who has two cannons, a canoe, and a coffin in his garage. He's also having his bathroom rebuilt, but that has nothing to do with his possessions.

But I digress. In order for you to have determined that "everyone is getting tired of this thread" you would have had to have asked such people as William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Paris Hilton, Joan Baez, Tom Paxton, Emmy Lou Harris, Bruce La Wall, Seamus Kennedy, Mick Jagger, Jennifer Lopez, Vicente Fox, Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden, Colin Powell, Ed Guthrie, George W. Bush, George H. Bush, Barbara Bush, Joan Jett, Harold Savage, Tony Blair, Tommy Makem, Bono, and whoever's in charge in Italy right now -- among 5.something billion other folks.

And you certainly didn't ask ME. I would have know if you did. And all you need is ONE person to say, "Nope! I'm not tired of MOAB!" or even "Whatever are you talking about?" for your hypothesis to fail.

Bye.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 08:40 AM

BWL:

Please send me my decoder ring so I, too, can join in the plan to rid MOAB of the wicked anti-Shatner and make the world safe for true democrqcy and keep MOAB pure.

Enclosed are five box-tops from your breakfast cereal. My dog likes it very much.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: s6k
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 04:46 AM

DEATH TO THE ANTI SHATNER!!!!!!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 11:44 PM

All right! King khandu's into the fray as well! Kk, please refer to the coded message I sent Little Hawk. I'm sure you'll find the plan satisfatory as soon as you find your decoder ring.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 11:41 PM

Good to have you on board, Little Hawk. Now, we'll probably need to improvise some sort of trap.... No. It probably wouldn't be wise to announce our plans out in the open like this.... A code! That's it! We need a secret code so we can plan the Anti-Shatner's downfall without him getting wise.

Okay. Here you go:

JF8 FEUTN 8THOWB GRI7AY WUVT3 BH7RF HYDPN5.

Set decoder ring to setting 5, repeat, setting 5 to decode the above message. That is all.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 11:34 PM

AMEN!!! Knower of Things has done it again!!

THE ANTI-SHATNER MUST DIE!!!!

Kk


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 11:13 PM

My God, Bee-dub!~ Do you think...? Would anyone dare to...? I mean, the collossal nerve of....! (splutter, splutter) This merits a full investigation at the highest levels of the WSSBA! Shatner imitation is encouraged, but not Shatner impersonation! Thou shalt not take the name of the Captain in vain! Yes, the Anti-Shatner must die!!!

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 11:04 PM

It is obvious that I spoke in haste when I said "Shatner Must Die!!!" I should have taken a few moments to explain my position.

First, let me state that I do not desire the demise of the real William Shatner, the mediocre actor. He is a harmless old fart who makes a decent living being a caricature of himself, which is really not too bad of a gig if you can get it.

But, the "Shatner" who has posted repeatedly to this thread is not that guy! He is an imposter! In fact, he is worse than an imposter, he is the Anti-Shatner! The real William Shatner would not diss King khandu and claim to be the "Captain" of the MOAB. The real William Shatner would not steal the M2K post away from the MOABites who worked so hard to get the thread to the point where an M2K post was possible. Only the Anti-Shatner would do such things. Why? Because, by doing them he makes MOABites despise him. And, by doing such despicable deeds in Shatner's name he makes MOABites despise the real Shatner. That is the Anti-Shatner's goal - to destroy the real Shatner by being an asshole and blaming it on poor old Bill.

So, if I may be allowed to rephrase my original suggestion...










DEATH
TO THE
ANTI-SHATNER!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 10:56 PM

Well, now. That's really quite good. More the kind of quality I expected from you, Amos. I am impressed. You wouldn't mind if I borrow some of it for my next dramatic part? I can just see it now...

THE SCENE: A desolate rock-strewn area on some distant planet (or in Arizona). In the foreground we see the hero (played by me) confronting a group of alien heavies led by a pompous creature named "Krill" or something like that...a fellow with lots of head sculpts and prosthetics.

OUR HERO (me) speaks (*ahem*): Krill!...you're...a poor man's cheap escape from his own irresponsibility, a fantasy looking for a reality to replace, an ineptitude is search of a victim. You...think that victim is me. Ha! You're a mere drop of water in the waste pipe of those who do the real work of life. You're...a chicken scratching on the Page of existence. You're...a minor typographical anomaly, a speck of aberrant dust in the long view of the cosmos. You...have as much weight in the fate of the galaxy as you have in the fate of my starship. That's none, mister. Zippo. Nada. You...are a mote of dust in the mighty River of Life. You...are not suited to sneer, condemn, or judge me and my crew. You're...not even suited to cleaning the waste bays on an interplanetary junk scow. Now, go off and see to your collection of lace doilies before I...am forced to get tough with you!

(You'll note that I shortened it a bit. Brevity is more effective than endless hyperbole, and modern audiences have a short attention span. Thanks, buddy. This is going to sound absolutely great, and I've been shut out of Oscar night for too long. Here's a tip: you don't necessarily have to be "original" to succeed. You just have to know what works and when to do it.)

Mr Bill


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 10:31 PM

Oh, my! Impressive verbiage, Amos, impressive! I wonder if the Great Man will deign to respond? Wow. Even Spock would have raised his eyebrows in the face of that verbal assault! (and then have calmly pointed out some logical inconsistencies in it, no doubt...) As for McCoy, well, he would just have started frothing at the mouth or taken a swing at you. :-) What will Captain Kirk do?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 10:25 PM

You, sir, are a poor man's cheap escape from his own irresponsibility, a fantasy looking for a reality to replace, an ineptitude is search of a victim. You are a drop of graywater in the waste pipe of those who do the real work of life and a chicken scratching on the Page of Real Life itself, a minor typographical anomaly, a speck of aberrant dust in the long view of the cosmos. You have as much weight in the fate of the MOAB as you have in the fate of the Grand Pyramid. You are a fleck of robin's piss in the mighty River of Life, and you are not suited to sneer, condemn, or even bow down to or cavil in front of or tremble before or nod at one of the mighty souls who have built these powerful cyberhalls of Discourse, the mighty MOAB. Your accomplishments are dust on the floors of the MOABS galleries, a mote in a sunbeam compared to the infinite potential light which is always the divine attribute of MOABidity. You are not suited or even capable of shining a light on Her Modernity Rustic Rebel or any of her magical ilk here on the MOAB, including Carol the Crapper Sailor and the Brilliant Major SRS.

So go off and see if you can by dint of unparalleled and unprecedented exertion move your cranium far enough out of its nether receptacle to be able to see where you really are, because it will require some severe readjustment. Once you do that I am sure you will go far, and I request that you start soon.

Thanks, Bill.

I knew you would understand.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 10:03 PM

Amos, you are getting a bit incoherent. I didn't expect that of you. Too many scotch & sodas tonight? You falsely accuse moi of taking a bead on Rustic Rebel. Not so! Rustic Rebel had already indicated an extreme prurient interest in me prior to my post, and I was simply responding as requested. I aim to please...and that, my friend, is the route to success. Write that down in your little diary and ponder it.

Khandu - Graciously said, your highness! I accept and return your forgiveness, because I realize that you are among my true hardcore fans...the ones who will put up with just about any amount of BS from moi. :>)

Bee-dubya-ell...man, you are one lame-ass son of a sea cook. Do you really think you can intimidate a man who has fought off alien lifeforms from every section of the galaxy, locked lips with phaser-wielding Romulan babes, and survived a couple of seasons of T.J.Hooker with his reputation more or less intact???? Buzz off, you silly chicken-sexer. I shrug you off like a gnat. Go back to the Ozarks and make some more homebrew.

This thread was dying a slow death, and I have revived it. Be grateful.

Mr Bill


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 09:16 PM

Anyone who comes moseying in to these parts and just with not so much as a howdy do takes a bead on our own happy-hippie nude-thread-walking Rustic Rebel, just barges on it, is aiming for one heap of trouble son, and I don't mean urine trouble, I mean sweating bullets-and-wishing-yore-ma-wuz-around kinda trouble and that includes mister Big City Fancy Pants Get a Life I was on TV Pretending Shatner.

Just so that is all perfectly clear.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 09:10 PM

Shatner has over-stepped his bounds.
Around post 1900, he insulted the King. Worse, he stole post 2000, which should have been posted by a representative of the Royal Throne (khandu, Tweed, bwl, Rustic Rebel, Amos, Little Hawk, Rap or even Everyone's Royal Bidet!)(or any MOABite!).
But...he is entertaining & he does add some "excitement" to MOAB, so my incliniation is to think that death is a bit harsh!

Also, he is the GREAT MAN, without equal.

I think his transgressions should be forgiven.

Besides, I don't want to be the one to say, "He's dead, Jim."!

Kk


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 08:31 PM

I have been refraining from posting this, but now there can be no doubt about it....






















SHATNER







MUST







DIE!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 08:09 PM

What a class act...the dumbass posts to a thread that he decries other people for posting to...and he can't even spell "dumbass"! LOL! Just who IS the dumbass around here anyway? And why can't he ignore this thread if he detests it so? It's not like there aren't other things to do, for God's sake. Get a life, you idiot!

History note: BTW, do you people know that I am the guy credited with inventing and popularizing the phrase "Get a life!" many years ago in a skit on Saturday Night Live? I was hosting the program at the time...Guest hosting it, to be exact. This was only one of the numerous occasions on which I made history.

But...after delivering that gut-wrenching scream on the 2000th post (and it was better even than that screech Dean did the other day), I am experiencing a sort of warm glow...an afterglow...the kind of thing you experience after a profound emotional catharsis...or really good sex.

I feel great. Rustic Rebel, I understand your position perfectly. Don't think I don't. So...just for you...

YEEEIEE-AAAAAUGUHGUGHHHHHH!!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 07:43 PM

Four things, GUEST:

1) If someone held a gun to your head and forced you to open the thread, you should refrain from associating with them in the future.

2) By posting to this thread, you yourself have achieved exactly the opposite of your stated goal. You have delayed, not hastened, its decline.

3) It's "dumbasses" with a "b". If you're going to insult people at least spell the insult correctly.

4) This thread has had over 2000 posts and only one has been made by a dick-head anonymous troll. It must not bother too many people.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 07:14 PM

Kill MOAB?

I'd rather kill you, snide-box!

It is not for you, MOAB isn't, that is clear. It requires a high capacity for appreciation to even go through the thread!

Aroint!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 06:30 PM

It is becoming clear that everyone is tired of this pointless, stupid thread. Only a handful of dumasses post to this thing, apparently for no other reason than keeping it on the board.
Why not give it up and let it die? Surely there are some useful threads you could post to.
Really, just look at yourselves. Your posts are banal at best. Are
you impressing one another with your wit? What is this? Some kind of mutual mental masturbation.
Just look at the humor(?) in the first hundred posts, and compare it with the humor of the last 100.
Quite a difference, eh?

Give it up and kill this thread!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 03:16 AM

YEEEI-AAAAAUGUHGUGHHHHHH!!!!
That is what I looked forward too? That is what I anticipated as being the finest post on the cafe in the history the Mudcat Cafe?
Although it being a rather manly grunt of sorts.... Right on you man.... yes, you are the man... you created in me feelings that no other can, you animal you.
I want you. That is all there is to it. Nothing more to say. I want a grunting man that pretends to be William Shatner. I want a man who speaks little and when he does he speaks it in broken sentences. That fuckin' turns me on. I cannot tell you how much that does for me you little shit who went and said...YEEEI-AAAAAUGUHGUGHHHHHH!!!! on the most famous post of mudcat history. Oh baby-oh baby-oh baby....do it again and make me want you more...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Leonard Nimoy
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:35 AM

Bill,
I find that your post 2000 was an illogical post and one would have to assume it was your testicles that were being yanked.

It appears that you have based all of your energy into breeding tribbles which would be highly unethical and a much more suitable position for DeForest Kelley in my estimation.

I have found a suitable webpage for anyone on this public forum to investigate you and your corrupt ways. Upon viewing this no further correspondence will be deemed necessary.

Live long and prosper.

Leonard


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 07:25 PM

You may not have to go that far. I think he has a ranch in Tennessee, last I heard. Then there's Hollywood. You could join the legions of people who stalk William Shatner at Star Trek Conventions. All kinds of possibilities.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 07:10 PM

EXERPT FROM POST: Date: 21 Jan 04 - 11:26 AM

As for who actually makes the 2000th post, anybody but William Shatner or Gargoyle is fine with me.

Well.....

Just hadda go an' do it anyway, din'tcha? Five billion friggin' people on the planet and who the hell gets the M2K post? William Friggin' Shatner!

I'm startin' t' git sorta angry here. Tell ya whut I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go round up the Simple-minded White Alabama Trailertrash boys (th' SWAT Team) an' we gonna make us a liddle road trip up t' wherever it is in Soviet Canuckstan this Shatner boy lives an' we gonna open up a large economy industrial size can of Whoopass on that sumbitch. Thar ain't no excuse fer goin' an' messin' up people's fun like that.

An', lissen up, Shat boy, don' go tryin' t' pull none of that phaser an' photon torpedo shit neither. That shit only works in them sorry-ass movies you an' that pointy-eared fucker useta make. This here's real life an' yore lookin at one pissed off southern boy. Ya hear?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:59 PM

2003 the birthyear for MOAB!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:48 PM

ODE TO THE MOAB UPON ITS 2000TH POST

When MOAB reached its thousandth post
I wrote a pome, said 'twas the most
That any thread had ever had
It warn't too shabby, not too bad.

It now has that thousand times two.
'Cause some folks don't have shit to do
'Cept shoot the breeze and waste their times
With foolishness and goofy rhymes.

Yes, MOAB it continues on.
The Goddammed thing just won't be gone!
A dream from which we cannot wake,
A never-ending stomachache.

It now looks like it may be true
That this thread never will be through!
So, what the hell? Don't buck the tide.
Just grab yer nuts* and enjoy the ride!


* Female MOABites are excused from grabbing their nuts since they generally are not equipped with them. They may grab whatever parts of their own anatomies they wish, or they may grab the nuts of a male friend or companion. It is suggested that they not grab the nuts of a perfect stranger.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:38 PM

This could be the last MOAB post. I can feel the Earth move under my feet, it's starting the inward death spiral.

What's that I hear? "Thus Spoke Zarathustra?"

Dave...Dave....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:34 PM

YEEEI-AAAAAUGUHGUGHHHHHH!!!!

(match that, Dean!)

Mr Bill


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Run!
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:33 PM

COMES!!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Look out!
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:32 PM

It....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Uh-oh!
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:32 PM

Here...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:20 PM

In nineteen hundred and ninety-six
Found a pile of dynamite sticks
Found a pile of dynamite sticks
Workin' in the library....

Thank God it's two thousand and four! When I found those dynamite sticks I didn't think I'd make it this far. Damned things were capped, fused, and sweatin' nitro. And the Big Boss said to move 'em on. So I picked 'em up and carried them to the curb, outside the library. Stumbled, tripped on a kid in the children's room. The resulting explosion of forty sticks of 60% blew the children's room to bits and me along with it. People saw me everywhere for days afterward. I've been dead for eight years now, and I don't miss it at all.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 11:57 AM

It was 1995,
We fought to remember we were atill alive
We sat around and said "How nifty!
I still feel twenty, but I'm fifty!"

And "How is it those too young to know
Are a portion of the world that always seems to grow?"

And those who remember Kennedy being shot
Are fewer than those who
For one reason or another
Can not?

ANd why do our pates shine, and our wrists twitch?
I'm tellin' ya man,
Middle age is a pure-dee bitch!

Regards,

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 11:10 AM

As we get closer and closer to M2K, I'm impressed by the restraint shown by the MOAB community. Any other bunch of yo-yos heading toward a landmark as important as M2K would be stumbling all over themselves and filling the thread with totally gratuitous posts in their egotistical attempts to be the one to actually make the landmark post. But not this bunch of yo-yos! No sir! We know all about delayed gratification. We're in no rush to get someplace that probably won't live up to our expectations anyway. We're adults. We know how to enjoy the journey as well as the destination. And, yes, when the destination has been reached we'll probably experience a slight tinge of regret that the journey has ended.

Ah, bullshit, you old fart! You're as fulla shit as a constipated Christmas goose. You wanna be the one to make that 2000th post! Go on. Admit it. This post is just as gratuitous as it can be. What've you actually said here? Nothing. Tryin' to sound like you've got somethin' to say when all you're really doin' is pushin' the thread one post closer to 2000. You're gettin' worse, Buddy. Just keep pushin' and we'll get you one of these days, you old sumbitch!

Oh, yeah? Fuck off you little purple-talkin' prick!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:26 AM

Lhord Khancre sez...See , we are "passengers" on this "train". The "train" (MOAB)is rushing headlong to the "depot" (M2K). But we will all arrive AT THE SAME TIME because the rear is traveling faster than the head!!!!


I am confhazed and excommunicated by this utterance yore Headness! Could you escalate this degree so thet a common numbnutz like myself an' the obvthers here may excrete the true meaning obv that Royal Missile? I am sartin that there iz great portents obv somethin constrained within it but am habving trouble wif putting it into fhocus somehow.
Thanks for enny help or delightenment you may choose to shed.

Yerz,
Tweed
K.O.T.R.Obv.T.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 11:09 PM

1992-RIP GJW!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:55 PM

It was 1991,
We set out to have some fun
I remember well, or so it seems today,
I was only forty-six
Still too young to cross the Styx
I was sure I'd get my kicks (if I drank enough) that day

But I woke up with my hands around the aspirin bottle
Drinking water like a desert on the double
Middle age is such a bitch! Drink a lottle
And you'll end up losing Monday for your trouble

(Repeat for the rest of the 90's in order).


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:48 PM

1990. I remember 1990. I think I remember 1990, I think.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 09:36 PM

The correct term is "M2K"!
Bear with me & I shall calm your skewed nerves!
Why does the rear end of a looooong train travel faster than the engine?
Because it has farther to go to reach the depot!
Now apply that to M2K & you will see that we Moabites have nothing to fear! Nada!Zilch! Nil!

See , we are "passengers" on this "train". The "train" (MOAB)is rushing headlong to the "depot" (M2K). But we will all arrive AT THE SAME TIME because the rear is traveling faster than the head!!!!

I'll sit quietly a moment as this revelation hits you!



Am I hearing sighs of relief??

SEE! By arriving at the SAME TIME, we have made time stand still!!!!
& since time stands still....


WE WILL NEVER GET THERE!!!!!

"Rest your weary souls,
The King wears no new clothes" (H.L. Wigley c:1916)

Kk


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 07:55 PM

Man, the day that Leedle Hack is reduced to sputtering grade-school dactyls (especially one so far out on the fringe it deserves to be called a peri-dactyl) and is otherwise at a loss for words -- that is a day woth seeing!! I am deeply stirred to thnk such a day has finally come, brothers and sisters. Lo how the MOAB shineth!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 06:25 PM

I am so overwhelmed at the thought of the impending disaster on MP2K that all I can do is paste this in from the Popeye thread:

I'm Donald the Disney duck
I pilot a garbage truck
I almost go crazy
When thinking of Daisy
6 decades and STILL NO F------!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 06:19 PM

I have a pencil on my desk from The Salvador Dali Museum in St. Petersburg, Florida. I have no idea how it got here. I've never been to The Salvador Dali Museum. In fact, I've only been to St. Peterburg once and all I did then was play for a contra dance and drive back to my friend's house across the Bay in Tampa.

In fact, I have no idea how any of the pencils in my house got here. I haven't bought a pencil since 1970, yet I never run out of them. Perhaps my house is a locus to which other people's lost pencils are drawn.

If you are missing any pencils, please PM me with descriptions and I'll see if I have them. Honest, I didn't take them on purpose.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 03:00 PM

No, my eyes are bloodshot blue.

Amos posted 1984!!! Hail, Big Brother!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 01:38 PM

Right, Rap. You're one of those brown-eyed guys, aren't ya??


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 01:31 PM

It has to do with the Titius-Bode Law, Amos, and that "Natura vaccuumae abhorret."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 15 December 6:52 AM EST

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.