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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 21 Jun 09 - 10:09 PM
Acme 21 Jun 09 - 07:36 PM
Rapparee 21 Jun 09 - 05:19 PM
Amos 21 Jun 09 - 04:57 PM
Acme 21 Jun 09 - 04:26 PM
Amos 21 Jun 09 - 03:25 PM
Bobert 21 Jun 09 - 01:55 PM
Amos 21 Jun 09 - 01:02 PM
Rapparee 21 Jun 09 - 12:34 PM
Amos 21 Jun 09 - 12:29 PM
Amos 21 Jun 09 - 12:26 PM
Rapparee 21 Jun 09 - 12:25 PM
Rapparee 21 Jun 09 - 12:23 PM
Amos 21 Jun 09 - 11:23 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Jun 09 - 11:18 AM
Little Hawk 21 Jun 09 - 11:13 AM
Acme 21 Jun 09 - 11:07 AM
Rapparee 21 Jun 09 - 10:55 AM
GUEST,Janie 21 Jun 09 - 10:08 AM
Amos 21 Jun 09 - 10:00 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Jun 09 - 09:57 AM
Bobert 21 Jun 09 - 08:03 AM
Amos 21 Jun 09 - 12:36 AM
Amos 21 Jun 09 - 12:24 AM
Rapparee 20 Jun 09 - 11:27 PM
Acme 20 Jun 09 - 11:20 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Jun 09 - 09:20 PM
Rapparee 20 Jun 09 - 08:27 PM
Bobert 20 Jun 09 - 08:10 PM
Rapparee 20 Jun 09 - 07:27 PM
Acme 20 Jun 09 - 05:52 PM
Rapparee 20 Jun 09 - 05:39 PM
Amos 20 Jun 09 - 03:46 PM
Rapparee 20 Jun 09 - 02:57 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Jun 09 - 02:52 PM
Acme 20 Jun 09 - 01:52 PM
GUEST,Janie 20 Jun 09 - 01:26 PM
GUEST 20 Jun 09 - 01:25 PM
Amos 20 Jun 09 - 12:52 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Jun 09 - 12:18 PM
Amos 20 Jun 09 - 11:33 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Jun 09 - 11:23 AM
Rapparee 20 Jun 09 - 10:44 AM
Riginslinger 20 Jun 09 - 08:50 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Jun 09 - 08:12 AM
Amos 19 Jun 09 - 11:15 PM
Rapparee 19 Jun 09 - 10:43 PM
Amos 19 Jun 09 - 08:29 PM
Little Hawk 19 Jun 09 - 07:56 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Jun 09 - 06:35 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 10:09 PM

Guess what, Mom?

It rained and lightning and thundered...again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 07:36 PM

You're just planting and I've been harvesting those same things for a while now. I needed a nap also, but didn't get a chance to take one today. I'll add it onto my sleep tonight, I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 05:19 PM

Mom, I just planted four Stella d'oro dwarf day lilies out front to complement and contrast with the blue-purple penstemon and the allysium. I've cut the grass, front and back, twice this week. I've planted flowers, tomatoes, peppers, basil, and rosemary out back. I've planted the flower boxes on the porch railings. All this while dodging rain storms.

Mom, I'm going to take a nap now. Call me in time for dessert.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 04:57 PM

Well, you can scold him in the usual manner--open mouth, knit brows, and flap tongue--but it is better to know he is on the right path.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 04:26 PM

I love that Bradbury story.

My son has a fondness for his short stories, there is a stack of them in his bedroom. How can I scold him during the school year for not going to sleep early enough when he winds down by reading Bradbury?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 03:25 PM

This is post 29,868, Bobert.

32 more will bring us to 29,900. And 100 more, to 30K.

Thirty K!!! Imagine!!!

You should be proud to be part of it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bobert
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 01:55 PM

How many more now, Amos???

Real math this time... No tricks, ya' hear???

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 01:02 PM

Ray Bradbury loves a good library.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 12:34 PM

What joke?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 12:29 PM

And, Rapaire, that joke was so funny the first time I made it up, I nearly fell off my brontosaurus.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 12:26 PM

Hey Mom!!

Yesterday I went to a real whingding of a whangdoodle in a big rolling estate lined with palms and avocados, where some friends were throwing a birthday party. The entertainment was one of the best rock and roll groups I've heard in years -- the Ringtones, led by James Zota Baker, one of the most virtuous rock guitarists of all time. I got into it with them and they put me on the mic for a couple of numbers--"Mojo's Workin'" and "I Feel Good!" -- which livened things up some. It ain't easy, Ma, being a 20 year old soul in a sixty year old body. I feel like effing Benjamin Button. But we truly rocked.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 12:25 PM

And in case you don't know it, Amos, there's a vas deferens between men and women.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 12:23 PM

I've got a Master's degree in Lesbian Science. At least I think that's what it's in. Something like that anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 11:23 AM

He just thinks he's a lesbian. He isn't, really. He likes to make out with girls, is all.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 11:18 AM

Is... it... better... to... sound... like... Shane... or... Shatner?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 11:13 AM

Man, you are sounding more and more like Shane every day, Rapaire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 11:07 AM

More tomatoes on the windowsill this morning, MOM, and beans enough for a meal now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 10:55 AM

Oh no you don't! You can't pin that on me! I have an alibi and witnesses and besides, I'm pretty sure she was over 18. Besides, I've had a lobotomy and I can't have kids. And I used three condoms. Besides, I wasn't in town, I was someplace else. And I don't own that kind of car or know anyone who does. And I am not now nor have I ever been. And I'm a lesbian.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Janie
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 10:08 AM

He still didn't say whether I could drive or not.

Hi MOM,

Here in the secure busom of my family I just slept 12 hours.

Happy Father's Day to all ya'll Dad's!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 10:00 AM

Bobert:

What the hell is fuzzy about it?

30,000
29,851
_____________
      149


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 09:57 AM

This is post #29853.

It's also:

44,850 in base 9
72,235 in base 8
153,015 in base 7
350,113 in base 6
1,423,403 in base 5
13,102,131 in base 4
1,111,221,200 in base 3
111,010,010,011,101 in binary

By the way, the binary equivalent of post #32,767 will be 111,111,111,111,111.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bobert
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 08:03 AM

Just what we need... More fuzzy California math... Not even warm and fuzzy... Just...

...fuzzy???

B;~)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 12:36 AM

I did not bother mentioning
A truth, so bright and nifty:
That with that post I had attained
The twenty-nine, eight-fifty!
Thus this, of course, is fifty-one,
ANd also brings to mind
That to achieve the Thirty Kay
Lacks just one-forty-nine!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 12:24 AM

A villainous and malodorous assertion, Rapaire, but to give you credit, at least it was your own work.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 11:27 PM

That wasn't a rock; that was Amos shooting his BB gun.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 11:20 PM

That's scary.

MOM, I'm bushed. Literally. I boxed up and bundled lots of branches from various bushes and trees that I'd dumped in the compost a long time ago. They have been in the way, so I bundled and cut and stuffed and tied up several bundles that are now down at the curb for the trash guys on Monday. My mowing in the back is a little easier now. I shouldn't be throwing any more sticks and rocks with the mower. I know MOM was disappointed when the mower was throwing so much stuff that it knocked down some of her sunflowers and knocked a concoidal fracture type hole in the sliding glass door from that flying rock.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 09:20 PM

King khandu sought to fulfill his long ago predicted destiny by abdicating his throne and running off with a cashier from Walmart. But when he got to Walmart, all the cashiers on duty were male, so he decided to use the self-checkout lane. Using irrefutable khandu logic, he determined that since he was acting as cashier, he could fulfill his destiny by running off with himself.

So, khandu is now holed up somewhere with khandu, living off of the Little Debbie oatmeal pies he bought at Walmart, and neither khandu nor khandu has been heard from in months.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 08:27 PM

Poor, poor Khandu. Once mighty and ignored, he is now puny and ignored. No longer King of Mississippi, he has been relegated to being Junior Assistant Princeling of Babbling Brook, New Jersey. Once surrounded by the Royal Dancing Bimbos, he is now surrounded by empty Thunderbird bottles and broken banjo picks.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen!

Even Tweed, who is even now clutching and scrambling and crawling his way to the Royal Throne, has fallen. Fortunately, he wasn't hurt much as he landed on his head.

As for the Nats -- well, three is better than none, I guess. At least they won't have a complete washout of a season.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bobert
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 08:10 PM

Well, seein' as this thing is movin' in on the big Three Ohhhh, I figured that maybe it was time for my second post to this thread.../

So, what's shakin'???

Where's Khanny???

How about them Nats??? Three in a row!!!

What's with womenz??? (lol)

Ahhhhh, didja all see Obama at the press thing last night... He was 'sposed to be funny... I think he needs to keep his day job... Whaddayathink??? I mean, bb is funnier than Obama...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 07:27 PM

Wheels? We don't have those; Pocatello hasn't advance that far because we think wheels are some sort of liberal socialist trick, like the "fire" thing. No, we have people run ahead and insert rollers, like God(dess) intended.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 05:52 PM

If it weighs that much you have too much in your backpack as you push that book truck. Are the wheels flat on the bottom? That will also make it difficult.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 05:39 PM

Well...with a curb weight of 22,000 pounds I think a tow truck would be more in order.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 03:46 PM

If you try, that wheelchair lift will come in handy!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 02:57 PM

It's a 31 foot long Winnebago RV, modified so that it has no bathroom or bedroom (it does have a small water heater, a small frig, a small sink, heat, and A/C. And a wheelchair lift.

I don't think I want to push it anywhere.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 02:52 PM

Nice set-up with the book cart line, Stilly!

I'll bet Rap jumps on that one like a big ol' channel cat on a hunk of stink-bait!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 01:52 PM

Sorry I've been away so long, MOM, but I see you had a couple of strangers wander up on the porch while I was away. I hope the dogs didn't lick them to death as they greeted them.

Moonglow came to town so we went out to spend a lot of money. I had spent about $100 for a push mower for her yard in her college town house (where the neighborhood assn. fines them if they don't keep the grass mowed). Then I found one for $10 at a garage sale, 20 years old and going strong. So I took the new one back. But the glasses, the eye exam, and the upgraded phone all add up. MOM, don't ever get a cell phone. Just sit on the porch and greet all passers-by. It's the best way.

Congratulations on your book truck, Rap. Will it have a motor, or are you simply pushing a book cart up and down the street with a few books on it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Janie
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 01:26 PM

Oops. That would have been Your's Truly who posted above.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 01:25 PM

Or, Rig, you could do like me and just post what you want, without regard to what the sibs. are going on about.

I'm mean, that's how we always did it at the dinner table when I grew up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 12:52 PM

An oily, bony pogy-fish! I'd rather sink my teeth into day-old Bratwurst, and that's saying something.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 12:18 PM

Actually, Rig, what this thread's about, in large part, is tossing out straight lines to see if anyone bites. It's just like fishing. Amos grabbed that "symptom" line like a King Mackerel glomming a live menhaden.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 11:33 AM

But fortunately, those are only symptoms. The real afflictions don't infect you. You, for example, could act, talk and think like a schizophrenic, but you wouldn't have schizophrenia. Good thing, or we could be shut down.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 11:23 AM

I feel your pain, Rig. I'll sometimes go for months without posting to this thread. It's something you almost have to do on a daily basis or disorientation sets in. If I go on a road trip for a few days, it's sometimes difficult to peruse what's been posted in the interim without developing symptoms of various physical and mental afflictions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 10:44 AM

Well, you see, most people don't start at the beginning and read all of it. If you'd do that you'd understand completely and would immediately be able to post witty and pertinent comments. You would suddenly become young and good looking, once again able to turn somersaults on the front lawn in the fresh dewy dawn, to have stray dogs and cats and cops love you, to leap tall buildings, and to again do all of those things that you once could and now can't.

Come.

Join us.

Don't be afraid.

We come in peas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Riginslinger
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 08:50 AM

is is a weird thread and hard to post on!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 08:12 AM

I wish I had a bookmobile!
It's better than a cooked pig squeal,
Beats hell out of a hook for eels,
And even a box of oatmeal.

If I just had a bookmobile
I'd be the biggest of big deals,
Not just some jerk, not just some heel.
I'd be the boss! I'd be the wheel!

But, oh, so sad it makes me feel!
My heartache's true! My pain is real!
My misery I can't conceal!
'Cause I don't have a bookmobile!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 11:15 PM

Well, moast three scoare is no spring chicken, ya know....even though the oroiginal Miller's Tale from which you and I helped ourselves dealt with a mere teenager.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 10:43 PM

Gee, that new wyf is sure gonna be a surprise to the olde one (who is older than I am).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 08:29 PM

In the same vain vein, for alles lange syne:

Whilom ther dwelt at Pocyatelleo
80        A riche gnof, that gestes heeld to bord,
And of his craft he was Booke-Keepere.
Yet wythal was he a faire scoler,
Hadde lerned art, but al his fantasye
Was turned for to lerne astrologye,
And koude a certeyn of conclusiouns,
To demen by interrogaciouns,
If that men asked hym in certain houres
Whan that men sholde have droghte or elles shoures,
Or if men asked hym what sholde bifalle
Of every thyng; I may nat rekene hem alle.

This Booke-Keepere hadde newe a wyf,
Which that he lovede moore than his lyf;
Of most three scoare yeer she was of age.
Jalous he was, and heeld hire narwe in cage,
For she was wylde at Hearte, and he was old,
And demed hymself, been lik a cokewold.
He knew nat Catoun, for his wit was rude,
That bad man sholde wedde his simylitude.
Men sholde wedden after hire estaat,
For youth and elde is often at debaat.
But sith that he was fallen in the snare,
Her moste endure, as oother folk, his care.




And so it is, and so it ever was.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 07:56 PM

It soundes jest laik mah ane faire life in thet songe, Rapaire. Sae bonny the braw melodys Ah've oft synge fer faire Winona neath the leafey bower! Och, aye!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 06:35 PM

WE HAVE A COOKED PIG SQUEAL!!!


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