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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 30 Dec 03 - 06:24 PM
Rapparee 30 Dec 03 - 08:20 PM
khandu 30 Dec 03 - 11:51 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Dec 03 - 11:53 PM
khandu 31 Dec 03 - 12:19 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Dec 03 - 01:06 AM
Rapparee 31 Dec 03 - 09:42 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Dec 03 - 09:56 AM
Rapparee 31 Dec 03 - 10:01 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Dec 03 - 10:41 AM
Amos 31 Dec 03 - 11:10 AM
Rapparee 31 Dec 03 - 12:32 PM
Amos 31 Dec 03 - 12:57 PM
GUEST,Winston Wellington-Jones 31 Dec 03 - 01:20 PM
Amos 31 Dec 03 - 01:22 PM
Tweed 31 Dec 03 - 02:38 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 03 - 02:55 PM
khandu 31 Dec 03 - 07:48 PM
GUEST,Penelope Rutledge (in London) 31 Dec 03 - 08:00 PM
GUEST,Albert McSwiggins, reinstated gardener 31 Dec 03 - 08:13 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 03 - 09:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Dec 03 - 09:49 PM
Little Hawk 31 Dec 03 - 09:55 PM
khandu 31 Dec 03 - 11:24 PM
GUEST,Captain Nigel West 31 Dec 03 - 11:58 PM
GUEST,Winston Wellington-Jones 01 Jan 04 - 12:35 AM
GUEST,Captain Nigel West 01 Jan 04 - 10:07 PM
GUEST,Winston Wellington-Jones 01 Jan 04 - 11:07 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Jan 04 - 11:17 PM
Amos 02 Jan 04 - 02:54 AM
Rapparee 02 Jan 04 - 09:08 AM
Amos 02 Jan 04 - 11:11 AM
Rapparee 02 Jan 04 - 12:16 PM
Amos 02 Jan 04 - 12:23 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 04 - 12:25 PM
Little Hawk 02 Jan 04 - 01:13 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 04 - 02:17 PM
Amos 02 Jan 04 - 03:42 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 04 - 04:28 PM
Cluin 02 Jan 04 - 04:42 PM
Amos 02 Jan 04 - 05:25 PM
khandu 02 Jan 04 - 10:56 PM
khandu 03 Jan 04 - 01:08 AM
Amos 03 Jan 04 - 10:31 AM
Rapparee 03 Jan 04 - 06:26 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Jan 04 - 09:15 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 03 Jan 04 - 09:19 PM
CarolC 03 Jan 04 - 10:30 PM
khandu 03 Jan 04 - 10:44 PM
khandu 03 Jan 04 - 10:50 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 06:24 PM

Ahhhhh, Rustic, that was MOST satisfactory. A smoocho doble right back atcha! Hobnob away!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 08:20 PM

Don't worry about them SWAT boys not comin' to your aid if Miss Penelope attacks ya, Tweet. The damned Idaho Legion'll come at a gallop...if they're sober enough, and have found their pants, and too many ain't down with some social disease, and have got on their horses right way around, and enough of 'em can be found.

So doncha worry, we'll most probably show up and help.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 11:51 PM

Someone attacking my KOTROT!!! HEADS WILL ROLL, I TELL YE!! HEADS WILL ROLL!!!!!!
WHERE'S MY ROYAL ROLLER OF HEADS??
WHERE'S MY ROYAL GRINDER OF AXES??
BRING OUT THE ROYAL CHOPPING BLOCK!!
BRING OUT MY ROYAL PANTYHOSE & LEATHER WHIP!!
THE KING IS WROTH!! WROTH, SAY I!!
BRING ME RUTBITCHES HEAD ON A PLATTER!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 11:53 PM

I don't even have to refer to the list to know what today's entry in the One-a-Day Totally Fresh and Virginal BS Topic sweepstakes is.

It's JABBERWOCKY!!!!

Ya know, I really don't understand how we've managed to escape talking about Jabberwocky before now. It stands alone at the pinnacle - the place where BS meets high art. The place to which all true MOABites aspire.

Just imagine L.C. saying to himself, "Hmmmm... It would really be fun to make up a mock heroic poem using made-up words. The trick would be to construct it in such a fashion that even though the words taken individually make no sense, the whole work creates a clear mental picture in the reader's mind. What fun! What total BS!"

Damn! I love this poem!

JABBERWOCKY
Lewis Carroll
(from Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There, 1872)

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 12:19 AM

Hell! That feller writes like Tweed!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 01:06 AM

My point exactly! The mental processes that Lewis Carroll went through in creating Jabberwocky are duplicated right here on the MOAB on a daily basis. Are we becoming rich and famous for out efforts? Nooooooo!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 09:42 AM

And so many of the words have entered the language: son, tree, slain, sword, gyre, gimble, and, the, catch and many others!

And if you like "Jabberwocky" you'd also like the longer "Hunting of the Snark." You can find the whole thing, all eight fits and then some, right here. Even the pictures! This is a rare first edition!

Oh, the joys and rapture entrapped therein!

"Just the place for a Snark! I have said it twice:
That alone should encourage the crew.
Just the place for a Snark! I have said it thrice:
What I tell you three times is true."

Would that I were reading again for the first time! That I could recapture the thrill of discovery I enjoyed then! But alas! I grow old, I grow old, I will wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled! But wait! What light through yonder window breaks? Every time I re-read Dodgeson I learn more, and while I can no longer have The Great Thrill I can enrapture myself with smaller ones!

Oh, I'm laughing and giggling! Smiling and waving!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 09:56 AM

A PROPOSAL


I propose that Lewis Carroll, author of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Through the Looking Glass and other works of imagination and satire be awarded the position and title of

HONORARY MOABITE


The chances of Mr. Carroll actually posting to this thread and thus becoming a genuine MOABite are prettty slim considering that he's been dead a goodly number of years.

While we're at it, I further propose that the position and title of

HONORARY MOABITE

be conferred upon Ambrose Bierce, Mark Twain, Kurt Vonnegut, Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, Tom Robbins and all of The Marx Brothers.

(Please note that three of the above proposed honorees are still vertical and thus may potentially become genuine MOABites. In the event that Mr. Vonnegut, Mr. Pratchett or Mr. Robbins ever actually posts to this thread their honorary status will automatically be upgraded to that of the real thing. Should Mr. Bierce, Mr. Twain, Mr. Adams or any of The Marx Brothers post here I think a cyberspace interpretation of Steppin' Fetchits' "Feets, Don't Fail Me Now!" bit would be in order.)

What say ye? And would anyone like to propose any any further candidates for this dubious honor?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 10:01 AM

I suggest Red Skelton, and if he's added I'll second the motion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 10:41 AM

I second the nomination of Red Skelton as long as Jack Benny can come along with him.

BTW - I was curious as to the derivation of the word "gimble". Specifically, that it might actually have been a word made up by Mr. Carroll that has entered the language. I looked it up in several online dictionaries and got zero returns. Now, if my memory serves me correctly, a gimble is a mechanical contraption on which a stage or movie set is built that allows it to be tilted (as used in numerous ship-sinking movies). Why did five online dictionaries not list it? Is the word I'm thinking of spelled differently? Anybody got an OED subscription? Wait! Rap's a librarian! He'll solve the mystery!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 11:10 AM

Seconded; so let it be written!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 12:32 PM

Main Entry: 1gim·bal
Pronunciation: 'gim-b&l, 'jim-
Function: noun
Etymology: alteration of obsolete gemel (double ring)
Date: 1780
: a device that permits a body to incline freely in any direction or suspends it so that it will remain level when its support is tipped -- usually used in plural; called also gimbal ring.

Main Entry: 2gimbal
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): -balled or -baled; -bal·ling or -bal·ing
Date: 1875
: to provide with or support on gimbals

Carroll made up "gimble" I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 12:57 PM

Sure! And brillig, too! And a bunch of other whacky neologisms!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Winston Wellington-Jones
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 01:20 PM

Hello there, wretched peons and victims of deluded grandeur. Hello! Tally ho! Wake up, Pretty Polly! You have a visitor! Yes, you, you blathering little covey of self-abusing MOABites, living in your tiny little world of convoluted rubbish and inanity. I see that you are attempting to arouse the wrath of our Penelope again. Well, it won't work...she has gone away to London for a holiday. I, however, am willing to spare just a little of my valuable time to deliver you a token of my esteem which should be sufficient to cover any and all future eventualities involving your feeble attempts at humour and controversy.

Picture this. I am standing at a large bay window in Twillingsgate. You are on the street with the rest of the urchins. I am now deliberately turning my back to you. I am undoing my belt. I am lowering my trousers...and my shorts...and bending over...thus presenting to you a well-muscled pair of buttocks...buttocks which you only wish you were the proud owner of.

Take a good look. That is my opinion of all of you. You are pathetic. Your "king" makes George the Third appear lucid. Your musical abilities are akin to those of a village idiot. You are so far beneath even contempt that there are no words fit to describe the lowness of your miserable lives.

I am now pulling my trousers back up, drawing the curtains, and having a good laugh at your expense.

Don't go away mad, as they say in America...just go away.

WW-J


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 01:22 PM

Wow -- did you see the pallor on that fat ass? Someone from England, I expect. They all have pallid asses over there, right?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 02:38 PM

dEEr Nancy Wemblton-Jane,

You are behind the times I reckon as ususal, as ar homeboys obver heer hab been warin' thar pants and showing thar asses fer some time now and is consimered to be high fashion (or hotculture in France). As fore Peniloppe, I beleeve she iz a frustrated female who only needs a good romp or three some evening. Send her scrawny butt over here and let the redblooded Merican MOABITES give her some advanced therayp and you kin leeve yore own spottybott thar whar it is.

Happy New Year,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 02:55 PM

Ah, yes, Winston, and picture a large, caulked logger's boot connecting violently with those well-muscled buttocks...and then a cowboy repeatedly slapping them with a pair of leather chaps....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 07:48 PM

Amen to the Honorary Last! Wunnerful idea!
However, such a list would be incomplete without the great Harry Lee Wigley!

Don't you just hate it whenever your slithy toves grye & gimble in the wabes!
It probably wouldn't bother me as much if they weren't so slithy, but they cause the wabes to get too slithy to my liking! Anyone else have this problem?

Happy New Year, my dear MOABites!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Penelope Rutledge (in London)
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 08:00 PM

At the end of each year, I attempt to gave some glimmer of Grace to those who are less fortunate than I.
It is in this spirit of magnanimity that I wish you poor intellectual indigents a quite Happy New Year!

In the troublesome case of Tweed, I wish him a more appropriate "Harpy New Year"!

Ta-ta!

PR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Albert McSwiggins, reinstated gardener
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 08:13 PM

We 'ad a feller in me 'ome town of Goole wot 'ad a name similar to 'Arry Lee Wigley, but 'is name was 'Arry P. Wiggly if I remember correckly. The "P" stood for "Peter". 'Arry Peter Wiggly. 'E got arrested for peeping in ladies' windows at night and for gross indesency it was, and sent to Blackpool. I've not 'eard of 'im since.

On the 'ome front I am proud to report that I am back workin' at Rutledge 'Ouse fully reinstated in me official capacity as gardener.

Mr Winston and Captain Nigel West 'ave agreed to a cessation of 'ostilities...I love that frase...cessation of 'ostilities. It means they ain't gonna kill each other for the time bein' and they even went out and 'ad a drink togever while plannin' bat'le strat'egy. The Jaguar wot belonged to Miss Pruella Tat'tle, our local gossip communist, some'ow ended upside down in a bog not far from 'ere! Isn't that strange? I expect some local lads got drunk and took it for a joyride. Miss Tat'tle is fit to be tied. As for Ms Rutledge, she 'as decided to spend New Years in London for a change, where it's nice and quiet.

I am not permitted to say more about the mat'ter. I wish all of you the best in 2004! Bot'toms up!

Albert McSwiggins


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 09:18 PM

Is Harry Lee related to Uncle?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 09:49 PM

Well, after the roaring success of yesterday's JABBERWOCKY post, we regret to inform you that tonight's subject is

KICKBOXING

I must reiterate that when I originally came up with this list I had no idea that I would actually be writing these posts. If I had known, I would have chosen more topics that I actually know or care about.

Kickboxing... Kicking someone in the face and/or allowing someone to kick you in the face for fun.

This is what can happen to people that don't learn to play guitar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 09:55 PM

It's big in Southeast Asia.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 11:24 PM

I just had a phone call from my cousin, Senator Trent Lott, wishing me a HNY.
During the conversation, he raised the subject of MOAB. He said that he occasionally drops in at Mudcat to read MOAB, but he does not post due to undisclosed reasons.
Then, he put the shocker on me...he asked if I would be pleased if he were to present to Congress a bill designating 2004 as the "Year of MOAB"!
I told him that it seemed the proper thing to do & suggested that he also use his clout to proclaim me as "Man of the Year".

He explained that his "clout" has dwindled somewhiat & suggested that I should be happy just being King.

He has a good point!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Captain Nigel West
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 11:58 PM

Winston, we managed to get him arrested, but that damned woman got him free. Damn, damn, damn!

Well, I don't think that he'll be free much longer. I've contacted Certain Parties and we're activating Operation Gamma. The less you know, the better, but I'll tell you this: it involves sulphurated skatol compounds, and when you hear of it you'll love it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Winston Wellington-Jones
Date: 01 Jan 04 - 12:35 AM

Bloody good show, Nigel! We were simply roaring with laughter here, and had quite a celebration at the Vicar's Inn...but they closed some time ago. My mates and I have moved the festivities over to our private club. I think I get your drift...lovely notion! Tally ho and good hunting!

WW-J


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Captain Nigel West
Date: 01 Jan 04 - 10:07 PM

Winston, you would have loved it!

My sources report to me that Buggeroll and his tart were laved by waves of skatol, indol, and certain other compounds early today. As they lay in bed, a truck carrying barrels of these chemicals tipped, the barrels opened, the windows broke....

If you don't know skatol, one might describe the smell as essence du merde. Indol is much the same, but derived from indigo -- and THIS batch had the effect of dyeing splotches of their bodies blue! Buggeroll really should wear night clothes -- the woman suffered a few spots, but Buggeroll! you'll know him in an instance in the gents'!

His poems were also flooded. They'll dry and be perfectly legible, but the odor won't abate for a very, very long time!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Winston Wellington-Jones
Date: 01 Jan 04 - 11:07 PM

ROTFLMBAO!!!! In Buggeroll's case, old chap, the odour NEVER abates! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I am delighted that the French are getting some local entertainment. I believe honour has been satisfied quite nicely. All in all this has been a splendid holiday season...one to be remembered for a long time.

WW-J


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jan 04 - 11:17 PM

It's time for tonight's installment in the you-know-what list, but, you know what? I'm too damned tired. We had an outrageuous New Years day picking party that started at noon. I've been playing guitar and banjo and Dobro for the last ten hours non-stop. I don't even wanna think about Lorna Doones right now. See ya tomorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 02:54 AM

Lorna Doones, named after an imaginary heroine created by Sir Walter Scott, are   sweet shortbread squares which come from the great American Nabisco Company; who in turn are probably responsible for more overweight grade-schoolers than any other American institution. Lorna Doones are delicious, being full of fat and sugar and not much else. They do not have frosting, however, nor are they coated with chocolate. In this way they represent the austerity and simplicity associated with the mythic image of the Scots people, who earned it. American children therefore end up thinking that eating Lorna Doones is an ascetic adventure which will make them canny, lean, competent with large swords, and niggardly. All that actually happens is the gaining of weight.

This in turn stimulates the market as parents feel obliged to purchase new clothes over and over for their offspring because of those damn cookies.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 09:08 AM

Nabisco used to be known as the National Biscuit Company. Nabisco is owned by Kraft Foods, which also owns General Foods International Coffees, Gevalia, Maxim, Maxwell House, Sanka, some of Starbucks*, Yuban, Kool-Aid Slushies, Country Time, Crystal Light, Kool-Aid, Tang,
some of Capri Sun*, Kool-Aid Bursts, 40-30-30 Meal Replacement Drink Mix, Oscar Mayer, Louis Rich, Taco Bell dinner kits, some of California Pizza Kitchen*, DiGiorno, Jack's, Tombstone, Lunchables,
It's Pasta Anytime, Kraft Macaroni & Cheese dinner, Kraft Easy Mac,
Velveeta, Boca meat alternative, Cold Pack Cheese, Woody's, Breakstone's, Knudsen, Light n' Lively, Philadelphia cream cheese, Temp-tee, Athenos, Churny, Cracker Barrel cheese, Handi-Snacks, Harvest Moon, Hoffman's, Polly-O, Kraft Deluxe, Old English, Cheez Whiz, Kraft Deli Deluxe, Kraft Free Singles, Kraft Singles, Kraft 2% Milk Singles, Easy Cheese, Baker's chocolate and coconut, Calumet baking powder, Bull's-Eye, Postum, Shake 'n Bake, Oven Fry, Grey Poupon, Sauceworks, Cream of Wheat, Milk-Bone, Dream Whip, D-Zerta,
Jell-O, Knox Gelatine, Minute, Balance energy bars, Ever Fresh, Cool Whip, Parkay (Puerto Rico only), Certo, Sure-Jell, Claussen, Honey Maid, Nilla, Oreo, Post cereals, Alpha-Bits, Banana Nut Crunch, Blueberry Morning, Cinna-Cluster Raisin Bran, Cranberry Almond Crunch,   Frosted Shredded Wheat, Fruit & Fibre, Golden Crisp, Grape-Nuts, Great Grains, Honey Bunches of Oats, Honeycomb, Nabisco (Puerto Rico only),   Natural Bran Flakes, Oreo O's, some of Pebbles*, Raisin Bran,   Shredded Wheat, Shredded Wheat 'n Bran, Spoon Size Shredded Wheat, Toasties, Waffle Crisp, 100% Bran, Rice Minute, Good Seasons, Seven Seas, Knudsen, Spoonable Dressing, Miracle Whip, Worcestershire, A. 1., Stove Top, Kool Stuf, some of Breyers*, Light n' Lively, Barnum's Animals, Biscos, Café Creme, Cameo, Chips Ahoy!, Crispin (Puerto Rico only), Dad's, Danish (Puerto Rico only), Famous Chocolate Wafers, Family Favorites, Old Fashioned Ginger Snaps, Hony Bran (Puerto Rico only), Konitos (Puerto Rico only), Lorna Doone, Mallomars, Marshmallow Twirls, National Arrowroot, Newtons, Nutter Butter, Peak Freans, Pecan Passion, Pecanz, Pinwheels, SnackWell's, Social Tea, Stella D'oro
Sweetie Pie (Puerto Rico only), Teddy Grahams, some of Wild Thornberry's*, Air Crisps, Better Cheddars, Cheese Nips, Club Social (Puerto Rico only), Crown Pilot, Doo Dad, Flavor Crisps, Harvest Crisps, Nabs, Premium, Ritz, Royal Lunch, Stoned Wheat Thins, Sportz (Puerto Rico only), Sultana (Puerto Rico only), Triscuit, Uneeda, Wheatsworth, Wheat Thins, Zwieback, Comet Cups, Handi-Snacks,
Snack Nuts, Corn Nuts, PB Crisps, Planters, Altoids, Callard & Bowser,
CremeSavers Hard Candy, CremeSavers Soft Candy, Jet-Puffed, Life Savers, Milka L'il Scoops, Fun Fruits, Terry's, Tobler, Toblerone,
Trolli.

Aren't you glad you asked? Aren't you a better person for knowing?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 11:11 AM

If there's shlock on the table, there's Nabisco!! It is the Fox News of Gustatory Events and Services! The Rupert Murdoch of foodstuff!! The Khandu of Cookiedom!! I would be a different person today if not for all the fine Nabisco products that went in to my gut as a child -- chocolate covered graham crackers, oreos, peanut-butter cookies...the list is almost endless. I might have grown up a far better person. Should I suie them for damage to personality? And while we're at it how about those brainless mind-fatties, Buffalo Bob and the Mouseketeers and Captain Video??!! My world view was irreparably distorted at a tender age!! I yam disss-KUSted, Olive! :>))

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 12:16 PM

Coca Cola owns, worldwide:
(as of 12/31/02)

A&W *         Ades         Alive         Almdudler Ambasa         American         Andifrut         Andina Nectar Aqua         Aquactive         Aquana         Aquarius Aqvaris         Arwa         Aybal Bacardi Mixers         Barq's         Beat         Belte Beverly         Bibo         Bimbo         Bimbo Break Bistrone         Bjare         BlackFire         Bom Bit Maesil Bonaqua/Qa         BPM         Bright And Early         Burn Buzz caffeine free Coca-Cola         caffeine free Coke light/diet Coke         Cal King         Calypso Canada Dry *         Canning's         Cappy         Caprice Carvers         Chafresco         Chaho         Charrua Cheers         Cherry Coke         Chinotto         Chinotto Light
Chippewa         Chivalry         Ciel         Citra Coke II         Coca-Cola         Cocoteen         Cresta * Cristal         Crush *         Crystal         Cumberland Gap Dannon *         Dasani Water         Delaware Punch         DESCA
diet A&W *         diet Almdudler         diet Andina Nectar/Andina Nectar Lt         diet Barq's diet Canada Dry *         diet Charrua         diet Cherry Coke         diet Coke/Coca-Cola light diet Coke/Coca-Cola light with lemon         diet Crush *         diet Dr Pepper *         diet Fanta diet Inca Kola         diet Kia Ora *         diet Krest         diet Lift diet Lilt         diet Mello Yello         diet Minute Maid Soft Drink         diet Mr Pibb
diet Nestea Cool         diet Nestea/Nestea Light         diet Oasis *         diet Schweppes * diet Sprite/Sprite Light         diet Squirt *         diet Tai         diet Vanilla Coke Disney Hundred Acre Wood         Disney Xtreme Coolers         Dorna         Dr Pepper * Drim Eight O'Clock         Eight O'Clock Fountain         Eight O'Clock Litro Pack         Emblem
Eva         Evian * Fanta         Finley         Fioravanti         Five Alive
Fontana         Fraser & Neave         Freezits         Fresca Frescolita         Freskyta         Frestea         Frisco Frugos         Fruit Labo         Fruit Tree         Fruitia Fruitopia         Fruitopia Tea         Fruktime         Frutina Frutonic         Funchum Georgia         Georgia Club         Georgia Gold         Gini * Gira         Gold Spot         Grand Blue Grapette
Guarana Jesus         H2OK         Hanul Yeon Cha         Hawai         Hi Spot *
Hi-C         Hit         Horizon         Huang Ice Cold Mix         Ice Dew         Ice Mountain         Inca Kola Itu         Izvorul Alb Jaz Cola         Jet Tonic         Jinmeile         Jolly Juice   Joy         Jurassic Well Kapo Axion         Kapo         Kapo Super Power         Kia Ora * Kilimanjaro         Kin         Kin Light         Kinley KMX         Kochakaden         Koumi Soukai         Krest
Kuat         Kuat Light         Kuli   Leafs         Lift         Lilt         Limca
Limonade         Linnuse         Love Body Maaza         Mad River         Magnolia         Magnolia Funchum   Magnolia Zip         Manzana Mia         Marocha         Master Chill Master Pour         Mazoe         Meijin         Mello
Mello Yello         Mer         Mezzo         Miami Mickey Mouse Migoro-Nomigoro         Milo         Minaqua Minute Maid         Minute Maid Juice To Go         Minute Maid Soft Drink         Mireille   Mr Pibb Nagomi         Nalu         Namthip Water         Natua Nectarin         Nescafe         Nestea         Nestea Cool Nestle         Nevada         New Vegitabeta         Nihon Alps Mori No Mizudayori
Nordic Mist         Northern Neck         Nusta         
Oasis *         Odwalla         OK         Old Colony * Paani         Parle         Pepe Rico         Pilskalna Planet Java         Play         Pocket Dr         Poiana Negri Poms         Ponkana         Ponkana Litro Pack         Pop
Portello         POWERade         POWERade Light         Private Label Pulp         Pump Qoo         Quatro         Ramblin' Root Beer         Real Gold         Red Flash         Red Lion Refresh Tea         Rimzim         Rio         Ripe N Ready
Risco         Riwa         Roses *         Royal Tru Samurai         Santiba         Santolin         Sarsi Saryusaisai         Schweppes *         Seagrams *         Seasons Seiryusabo         Seltz         Sensation         Sensun Senzao         Shock         Simba         Simply Apple Simply Orange         Slap         Smart         Sokenbicha
Solo *         Sonfil         Soonso o         Sparkle Sparletta         Sparletta Iron Brew         Splash         Sport * Sports Plus         Sprite         Spur *         Squirt *
Stoney Ginger Beer         Sun Valley         Sunfill         Sunkist *
Supa         Superkools         Surge Tab         Tab Clear         Tab X-Tra         Tahitian Treat *   Tai         Tasters Choice         Tavern         Tea World Collection
Thums Up         Tian Yu Di         Tiky *         Top Toppur         Tropical         Tuborg         Turkuaz Tutti * Urge Vanilla Coke         Vegitabeta         VICA         Vita Vital         Vital O         Vitingo Wannabe         Water Salad         Wink *         Winnie the Pooh Yangguang         Youki         Yumi Zip                           
* In Select Markets


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 12:23 PM

Deareast Rapaire, you are a true wonder of Rampant Librarianism!!

These lists bring up a serious question -- how many of these products add any value to the lives of those who buy them? A hapenny of flour, sugar, and food-dyes and you get a hundred different kinds of junk food...yes? Eye candy is great stuff to see, but should we feed it to our children or flood third-world markets with it?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 12:25 PM

Marmite is owned by Unilever, who also owns Lipton and Hellmans, among many other brands.

Vegemite is owned by...Kraft.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 01:13 PM

Don't worry, Olive, I'll saves ya! Line up, ya swabs, and salute the Presidink, cos he is the commander-in-chief and admiral of this ship! I may be an orfink but I ain't stupid and I ain't disloyal to the red, white, and blue, cross me heart and hope ta die!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 02:17 PM

Popeye Spinach products are owned by River Ranch Fresh Foods, LLC.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 03:42 PM

Rapaire, Rapaire:

Your answer is non-responsive, counselor!   :>)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 04:28 PM

Amos is owned by Famous Amos, LLC or Famous Amos Singapore or Association for Morbid Obesity Support or a bunch of meteorological satellites or Andy or...hello. How are you? Put on that nice jacket? Why does it button in back? And my hands won't stick out of the sleeves. You'll wha


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Cluin
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 04:42 PM

and the operator says 40 cents more... for the next... three... minutes...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 05:25 PM

LOL!!! You are the whackiest librarian (rampant, on a field mental) I have ever had the good fortune to know, man!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 10:56 PM

"The Khandu of Cookiedom!! "

I luvv this craked place!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 01:08 AM

While traipsing through the Mudcat archive, I came across this forgotten bit of poetry which I deemed worthy of MOAB!:


Subject: A poem by Spaw???
From: GUEST,khandu - PM
Date: 31 Jan 01 - 07:37 PM

This is exciting!
In an old curio shop in Memphis, I found an old magazine. It certainly wasn't the type of mag that I, khandu, would subscribe to; however, having never heard of it before, I purchased it. It was an oddly put-together mag, very limp. It was titled "LESSER MEN- the magazine for the not-so-well endowed". This issue was dated 11-79 and featured "Readers Responses".

I came across this poem near the front of the mag. It was written by "Anon. from Ohio".

It sounds like Spaw to me!

Spaw, you are a wonderful poet! You should share your poetry with your fellow Catters!

So without further ado, A Poem by Spaw:

"ODE TO MY PHALLUS

O Phallus, my phallus, why art thou so teeny?

T'would be a Prize, if ye were even half the size

Of an Oscar Meyer weinie.

O phallus my phallus, why art thou so teeny


They taught me much, they taught me well

To mine own self be true

To do my own thing

Alas, my own thing is much too little to do

O Phallus my phallus why art thou so wee

T'would give me much pleasure if thou wouldst only measure

At least two inches, or three

O Phallus, my Phallus

Why art thou so wee

I saw her there, so beautiful and fair

I was filled with desire

To stoke her lust into a bright flame,

Into a raging fire.

Sweet words, wine ,and poetry

Music so soft,

Surely that would do the trick

She giggled and tittered

Then she guffawed

"I've not even seen a candle with such a small wick!"

Have I angered the ancients, those powerful gods

Who created this kit'n'kaboodle

That they should give others such wonderful rods

And leave me with this pitiful noodle.

O Phallus, my Phallus

Why art thou so damned short!

The End"

I, khandu, of course, cannot relate to the problem expressed in the poem. Yet, I am moved by his sense of futility and inadequacy.

You are good, Spaw.

khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 10:31 AM

UHoh.....khandu dissin' Spawboy. Film at eleven!! UHoh.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 06:26 PM

No word from Spaw yet. Uh-oh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 09:15 PM

Thanks to Amos for his eloquent post on the subject of Lorna Doones.

Now, regarding today's subject,

MARGARINE....

There is a brand of margarine called "I Can't Believe it's Not Butter!". There's another one called "Move Over, Butter!" I am waiting for one called, "Holy Fuckin' Shit! It Ain't Butter!"

That is all I have to say on the subject except to note that "margarine" begins with an "M" which is the 13th letter in the alphabet. That means that this stupid list is half-way finished. For that, I am grateful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 09:19 PM

Any sap that would freely choose margarine over butter would probably eat a buncha plastic grapes too...or a rubber banana.

CC


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 10:30 PM

I remember that poem from when it was first posted.

(JtS says I'm easily entertained.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 10:44 PM

Well, Miss Memorypants, you did not post to it!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 10:50 PM

1800 posts in eight months! WOW!! That comes to more than 37 posts per month!!

Kk


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