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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 12 Mar 16 - 12:52 AM
Amos 12 Mar 16 - 01:19 AM
Rapparee 12 Mar 16 - 11:54 AM
Amos 12 Mar 16 - 11:59 AM
Acme 12 Mar 16 - 12:40 PM
gnu 12 Mar 16 - 03:49 PM
Little Hawk 12 Mar 16 - 09:07 PM
Acme 13 Mar 16 - 10:02 AM
Little Hawk 13 Mar 16 - 12:24 PM
Amos 13 Mar 16 - 07:27 PM
Rapparee 14 Mar 16 - 12:15 PM
Little Hawk 14 Mar 16 - 01:09 PM
gnu 14 Mar 16 - 02:46 PM
Amos 14 Mar 16 - 07:37 PM
Rapparee 14 Mar 16 - 09:51 PM
Amos 15 Mar 16 - 01:38 AM
GUEST,What's this? No cookie? Tis *I*, gnu 15 Mar 16 - 07:25 PM
Little Hawk 15 Mar 16 - 08:26 PM
Rapparee 15 Mar 16 - 10:52 PM
Little Hawk 16 Mar 16 - 09:41 AM
Rapparee 16 Mar 16 - 04:03 PM
Acme 16 Mar 16 - 04:22 PM
Amos 16 Mar 16 - 05:22 PM
GUEST,Forgot to rebake my cookie... gnu 16 Mar 16 - 07:34 PM
Little Hawk 16 Mar 16 - 08:57 PM
Rapparee 17 Mar 16 - 12:13 AM
Acme 17 Mar 16 - 10:30 AM
Rapparee 17 Mar 16 - 12:51 PM
gnu 17 Mar 16 - 01:39 PM
Little Hawk 17 Mar 16 - 06:16 PM
Rapparee 17 Mar 16 - 09:41 PM
GUEST,ugly subject 17 Mar 16 - 10:37 PM
Amos 18 Mar 16 - 12:12 AM
Little Hawk 18 Mar 16 - 12:30 AM
Rapparee 18 Mar 16 - 01:49 AM
Rapparee 18 Mar 16 - 12:30 PM
Little Hawk 18 Mar 16 - 03:45 PM
Amos 18 Mar 16 - 04:20 PM
Little Hawk 18 Mar 16 - 11:32 PM
Amos 19 Mar 16 - 12:17 AM
Rapparee 19 Mar 16 - 01:00 AM
Little Hawk 19 Mar 16 - 10:32 AM
Amos 19 Mar 16 - 11:18 AM
gnu 19 Mar 16 - 12:12 PM
Acme 19 Mar 16 - 12:31 PM
Rapparee 19 Mar 16 - 01:45 PM
Rapparee 19 Mar 16 - 05:47 PM
Rapparee 19 Mar 16 - 05:51 PM
Amos 19 Mar 16 - 07:38 PM
Little Hawk 19 Mar 16 - 11:49 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 12:52 AM

Sometimes I think all of my friends are and have been imaginary, Amos.

Don't feel bad, Maggie. You know what they say happens.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 01:19 AM

You have evaded the answer to my question. While it is to some degree comforting to be assured by LH that Chongo has not escaped, the question remains unanswered: what happens when an imaginary character escapes?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 11:54 AM

Amos, have you read "The Number of the Beast" by the late Robert A. Heinlein? As the novel develops so does the answer to your question, and it is completely answered in the last chapter.

There is a fairly non-technical explanation here.

(A note to those who read the last chapter only: To understand this one you really should read the entire book.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 11:59 AM

Rapp: I have read it twice, long ago. The notion of mathematical forms existing a priori and accounting for alternative universes (such as those Heinlein depicted) is appealing. The question of variable solidity is, I suppose, just a question of willpower, huh? This also explains the Big Lie syndrome.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 12:40 PM

No "long pigs" here, but enough dog hair to card it and knit it into a long dog. Spring is just around the corner and the dogs are shedding coats like they're going out of style.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 03:49 PM

Dogs don't gp out of style. Well... maybe Snoop Dog but that's a whole other splif.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 09:07 PM

Amos, any number of things can happen in such a case, but the smart thing to do is just wait, and in time the imaginary character will return. They enjoy the attention.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Mar 16 - 10:02 AM

It is 239 days until November 8. An eternity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Mar 16 - 12:24 PM

Yes, the world's longest, most expensive, and most valueless soap opera is well underway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 16 - 07:27 PM

Valueless? Suppose the 2008 version had never gone on, do you think the change in our composite values would have happened anyway--the deficit reduction, the expansion of healthcare, and so on and so on? Valueless my left foot, sir. And as an alien, it is not your business to evaluate the internal processes of another nation of free (relatively) people.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 12:15 PM

"Free", Amos? It's not free in Idaho. It costs Frank VanderSloot a ton of loot to keep those people in office!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 01:09 PM

I am not in the least ruffled by your squawks of muffled protest, Amos, just glad I am not trapped within the rusty, decaying bars of your great, insane political gulag down there. Though I am, of course, living in one of its nearer colonies, so to speak...out here in the uber-imperial realm of expanded corporate/bankster takeovers that extends to most of the nations of the world at this point. Your elections are an empty show, though I do note that your citizens are getting quite restless, and may yet storm the bastille of conventional power and overturn the apple cart.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 02:46 PM

An eternity until the Berniety!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 07:37 PM

Emptiness, sir, is entirely in the eye of the beholder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 09:51 PM

Amos, you should moderate your language and apologize. I feel that you have offended LH much as I once seem to offended you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 16 - 01:38 AM

I make no apologies; his perpetual condescension is both facile, jejune, and groundless. Let him take responsibility for a country where free individuals must form and voice their opinions. He will find it quite beyond his ability to fathom.   'Nuff said.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,What's this? No cookie? Tis *I*, gnu
Date: 15 Mar 16 - 07:25 PM

Roight. What's gowan on 'ere now? Someone's got their knickers in a twist 'ave they? Never mind that. Carry on. Smoke em if ya got em.

Trump's a hump.... never happen. It's all a ruse to try to get Hillary elected. WE did it first! We (THEY) got Trudeau elected by scaring them with another government led by PM Herpes instead of Mulcair. Same shit, different country. We had Mulcair, youse got Sanders. Don't fuck up. Please don't fuck up. Sanders! Sanders!Sanders!Sanders!Sanders!Sanders!Sanders!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Mar 16 - 08:26 PM

"Offended"? Mois???? Good heavens, no, Raparree! It has been eons since Amos did anything that offended me. Might've been back in the Mesozoic era or something like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 16 - 10:52 PM

Nevertheless, I think you should have your friends call upon him and arrange a meeting. Pistols or swords, but I think swords would be be best as neither of you should attempt machinery at your ages.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Mar 16 - 09:41 AM

Chongo is too busy right now to be arranging meetings with Amos, and Penelope probably just couldn't be bothered.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 16 - 04:03 PM

There's always Shame....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Mar 16 - 04:22 PM

jejune. Good word, I haven't seen that for several thousand posts. Thanks for bringing it back around, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 16 - 05:22 PM

Certainly, Madame. As for Penelope, she'd be pulling off her drawers within the first thirty minutes, so it's just as well you don't send her over.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Forgot to rebake my cookie... gnu
Date: 16 Mar 16 - 07:34 PM

Saw my first robin today. Probably been robins before this but I don't get out much since I heard the surgeon say, "We may need a suture." Also today, I heard Blue Jays singing that distinct spring song. Since I can't replicate that song herein, I will interpret it for humans (English version). It goes, "Wanna fuck? Wanna fuck?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Mar 16 - 08:57 PM

My goodness, Amos! What vainglorious boasting. Do you really imagine that a middle class gent such as you could seduce la Rutledge that easily? You are getting carried away with yourself, my good man. Now, Olive Whatnoll....I'm sure she'd be giving you the glad eye, probably show a little leg, maybe put you in a hammerlock if you hesitated and say with a leer, "NOW it's YOUR lucky day, boyo!" as she dragged you off screaming toward the nearest couch, bed, or other horizontal surface. Those 'Ull working class women just carn't be trusted wif any blighter wot still can stand and breathe!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 16 - 12:13 AM

I am certain that Amos could defend himself from A Fate Worse Than Death. If naught else his Good Dog would throw herself into the fray and defend his honor or honour.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Mar 16 - 10:30 AM

Well, gnu, our birds and bees and buds just got an atmospheric sandblasting overnight, setting back all plans of reproduction back a couple of weeks until damaged limbs heal themselves, nests are rebuilt, and gardens replanted or the broken plants recover. We're limping toward spring with hail in our shoes this morning. Hours later there are still now-quarter-sized pellets lying unmelted on the ground.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 16 - 12:51 PM

It's terrible here as I enjoy the weather Amos wishes he had.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Mar 16 - 01:39 PM

Oh dear. I hope you didn't sustain too much damage, Acme.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Mar 16 - 06:16 PM

That's what they get for backing Cruz instead of Chongo...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 16 - 09:41 PM

God'll get Texas for Cruz and a lot of other people!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,ugly subject
Date: 17 Mar 16 - 10:37 PM

The lord chisels still, so don't leave your bench for long.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Mar 16 - 12:12 AM

My weather is about perfect, thanks, Rapp. As for Penelope, Mister Hawk may not have been introduced to the simple fact of nature that all lady=parts march to the same tune, providing you can do it in polyphonic harmonies. His convictions about aristos are sadly misplaced.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Mar 16 - 12:30 AM

Stop being vague and impenetrable, Amos, and say what you really mean in plain language. Your ornate verbiage is like unto a Lovecraftian monster, inchoate and lacking form or clear definition. In short, sir, you are inflicting upon your loyal audience verbose soliloquies that serve not to enlighten but to suck the unwary down into an ever-deepening quagmire of sesquipedalian, quasi-intellectual obscurantism. You'd never find me doing that! Good heavens, no. Nor Rapparee, who is, as we all know, the soul of both brevity and discretion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Mar 16 - 01:49 AM

I simply could not have said it better myself, Mr. Hawk, and I have been accused of obscurantism, elitism, illogicality, non sequitors, and worse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Mar 16 - 12:30 PM

Sitting here watching surfers I have achieved a deeper understanding of the sport.

Surfing consists of paddling a board out to where you think the waves starts, being drenched by numerous waves until the one you want comes along, putting yourself in the position where the wave's energy will carry you and your board towards shore, being tossed by the wave (with your board) into the air and landing in the most painful way, and doing it all over again...when the air temperature is 65F.

Surfing thus combines all of the worst elements of water polo, being beaten with a 2 x 4 while trapped in a running cement mixer full of rocks, falling through the ice, and failure to learn from your experiences.

I shall pass on experiencing this sport.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Mar 16 - 03:45 PM

Me too. It seems sillier than golf (which is saying a lot!) and considerably more dangerous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Mar 16 - 04:20 PM

If you have never known the thrill of riding a big wave, you are in no position to comment on how it feels. There are some thrills to the human system that transcend explanation.

Mister Hawk, your reprimand of my verbosity is a stinging testament to the narrowness of your own vision, and a disgrace to the honor of MOAB.

Hey, I got free tickets to a rock concert tomorrow night. Booya. From a 19-year-old bass player lass with long blond hair. Whooof!

There--is that earthen enough of tongue for your tastes, you antediluvian varlet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Mar 16 - 11:32 PM

Don't try to intimidate me with your medieval insults, sir! If you have never known the thrill of sharing friendship, drinks, and good times with a Chimpanzee gumshoe, then YOU are in no position to comment on how THAT feels, if I may extend your own line of reasoning. (It's a faulty line of reasoning, but that's where it would lead if it held any water, which it does not.) If we and others were only justified in commenting on things which we HAVE experienced, my good man, then we would all be instantly disqualified from talking about a very great deal....and at least 90% of everything you or I have ever posted would immediately lose all relevance, given that our own life experiences have necessarily been quite limited. We would be reduced to a woefully short and boring list of subjects upon which to expound, and all further speculation and imagination would grind to a halt. Evolution itself would be threatened!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 16 - 12:17 AM

Spurious, facetious, and illogical. You, of all our denizens, must know the power of experience beyond the mortal shell; yet you deny it, resorting to mechanism and the ancient hypnotic power of solidity as a substitute for Reality. Go to, you vapid varlet, you vendor of vague velleities, you monger of mundanity!

Tonight the golden hound, color of the sun, lies asleep in her soft round bed, and as I ponder the unending horizons and landscapes of the imagination, I am once again swept up by the power of the King Rojo de Vinas, the secret Monarch of all the enfeebled mind surveys. His grip is sure, but my will is strong; he shall not rule me, nor eradicate the nobility and honor which are my birthright. And I meet him, in the dark and dripping alleyways of my darkest mind, him shall I slay. Be warned, sons of the Vine. Your ruler has numbered his own days, for treading on the heels of one far greater than he in his most inspired imaginings!

Bring on your dregs and your corky bits, you aigre aromas and your sharpest after-tastes! I am your man, your match, your master and your ultimate monarch when all the colors and vapors are laid down in surrender to a dark night's still voice. Then, then, shall you hear my song, and tremble.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 16 - 01:00 AM

I've been in combat and my life could have been ended in a messy and abrupt manner. I've jumped out of a perfectly good airplane 500 or so feet above the Kansas earth and landed safely, drifting earthward under a parachute. I've rappelled down a 150 foot cliff using clothesline and no harness. I've explored caves where outside of the feeble light of a carbide lamp or a flashlight was stifling darkness. I've swam in the Mississippi River on many occasions and did not dissolve. I have used C-3, C-4, dynamite, TNT, black powder, ammonium nitrate "cratering charges", and other explosives and remained in one piece. I have ridden out thunder and lightning storms on rivers and lakes in open boats and canoes, pointing the bow into to waves and riding them either to shore or until the storm blew out. I have worked in sandblasting, where the force of the air-driven carborundum could sever a finger or hand or arm. I have slept "rough" in rain, mud, snow, hail, and every possible combination of them and once rode a bicycle through a tornado-driven storm. I have been water skiing and snow skiing. I've ridden on fast snow machines and motorcycles. In brief, I think I've looked Death in face on many occasions and spit in his eye.

I see no reason to try surfing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Mar 16 - 10:32 AM

Well put, Rap. I think it is perfectly reasonable to observe an activity such as surfing, study it carefully so as to determine its basic usefulness and appeal, and then say, "No thanks." I have done that with a great many things in my life, and I would wager that others can say the same. I don't regret it one bit.

Amos? Are you trying to prove my point or your own? In attempting to follow that last epic tirade of yours, I must confess that I had great difficulty determining which side of the argument you are even on. I know you probably possess the ability to easily talk the paint off a wall, a post out of the ground, and a river into reversing its normal course and flowing uphill, but what we need to do is to establish in what direction you are turning these immense powers, and with what final purpose in mind? At this point it's a complete mystery.

Could you try and clear that up? I await your next heroic Phillipic with bated breath.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 16 - 11:18 AM

The diversion of my diatribe against the evil grip of Pinot Noir was a red-wine herring, good sir. My point is that dismissing something as enlivening as surfing, as thrilling and awakening, is specious if you have not actually tasted the magic of being picked up by a large wave and mastered it's unstoppable power.

The reason Rapparree "sees no reason" to surf is because, for all his grand adventures, he is not a young man anymore. His wildest adventures are behind him, and the thrill of adrenalin is a poor copy in memory only. Where once he wrestled the world, now he lumbers along in it, talking of guns.

It pains me to be bearing bad news, but it must be faced squarely. If he had the agility and sense of balance he had when he was 20, and if he lived anywhere near an ocean, he would be out there, wearing funny looking board shorts, in a heartbeat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Mar 16 - 12:12 PM

Well, I come from the backwoods of NB but I can understand all your posts. If you need clarification, perhaps reading the posts again may aid in such understanding?

Notice I didn't use any words that had to be fuckin googled. Jayzus H. eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Mar 16 - 12:31 PM

When I was very young (seven, I think) I broke my leg (falling off of the backyard swing set, and a friend falling on top of me). I lived in a mountainous region where, in season, many people took narrow slats of wood into the mountains and slid down the snow, only to ride back up hill and do it again. And over the next few years many of my classmates returned to school after a vacation with crutches and a newly-plastered leg.

I concluded that I'd been there and done that. So I never took up skiing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 16 - 01:45 PM

Amos, I have board shorts in blue and orange as well as rashguard shirts and surf shoes. As for agility, yes, I've slowed down some but I can still do whatever I decide to do, be it loafing or para-skiing.

I reached the point some years ago where I decided that I'd rather get smashed on good whiskey on the rocks instead of me on the rocks, where I'd rather shoot at a target than be one. I've learned that only part of me (the part that annoys others) is immortal and sometimes you can do things or have things done to the other part that hurt quite unnecessarily. If I start to forget this I visit the Legion Hovel and watch the fights.

Oh, yeah -- I rarely carry any weapons beyond those Mom Nature provided these days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 16 - 05:47 PM

...No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;        
Am an attendant lord, one that will do        
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,        
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,        
Deferential, glad to be of use,              
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;        
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;        
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous?        
Almost, at times, the Fool.        

I grow old ? I grow old ?              
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.        

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?        
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.        
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.        

I do not think that they will sing to me.              

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves        
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back        
When the wind blows the water white and black.        

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea        
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown              
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

             --Ol' Tom Eliot, a St. Louie boy


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 16 - 05:51 PM

Oh, it's been a while, so I'll snag 54100.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 16 - 07:38 PM

Masterfully turned, Mister R. :D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Mar 16 - 11:49 PM

Thank you for that explanation, Amos. I am relieved.

Regarding the thrill of being "picked up by a large wave and mastering its unstoppable power"..........umm, no. You will never find me seeking out such an experience, and here's why.

I just don't like water sports, for the most part. I never did. I'm a really poor swimmer. I possess very little buoyancy. I get cold very easily when immersed in water, unless it's body temperature water. I've had some bad experiences with deep water, with cold water, both in this life and in other lives, some of them terminal, and I try to stay off deep water. I want absolutely no part of large waves, because I fully appreciate their unstoppable power, and I intend to stay well out of its way. I am as happy to forego the thrill of surfing as I would be to forego the thrill of sky diving, another thing I never intend to do.

I seek other types of thrills entirely, and they are not the thrills of physical derring-do, but rather the thrills of discovery, spiritual realization, love, deep emotion, harmonious connection, creativity, and so on. They are inner thrills of consciousness for the most part, not outer ones of testing myself against physical phenomena.

Surfing is mildly interesting if you watch someone else do it, I suppose, but there is absolutely nothing about it that calls to me personally. You might as well ask me to take up football (another thing I have no interest in), become a golf pro, date Paris Hilton, take up bronco-busting or join the Ku Klux Klan. None of these things are going to happen! (smile)


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