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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 06 Oct 14 - 11:23 PM
gnu 07 Oct 14 - 05:22 AM
Rapparee 07 Oct 14 - 08:23 AM
gnu 07 Oct 14 - 01:55 PM
Rapparee 07 Oct 14 - 10:33 PM
gnu 08 Oct 14 - 06:06 AM
Rapparee 08 Oct 14 - 09:46 AM
Rapparee 08 Oct 14 - 08:41 PM
Rapparee 08 Oct 14 - 09:04 PM
Amos 08 Oct 14 - 11:28 PM
Rapparee 09 Oct 14 - 08:59 AM
Acme 09 Oct 14 - 12:38 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 14 - 08:48 AM
gnu 10 Oct 14 - 11:34 AM
Acme 10 Oct 14 - 12:04 PM
GUEST,Gnu's Evil Twin 10 Oct 14 - 02:31 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 14 - 07:57 PM
gnu 10 Oct 14 - 09:29 PM
Amos 10 Oct 14 - 11:06 PM
Acme 11 Oct 14 - 03:37 PM
gnu 11 Oct 14 - 05:38 PM
Amos 11 Oct 14 - 06:30 PM
gnu 11 Oct 14 - 09:58 PM
Rapparee 12 Oct 14 - 08:23 PM
Rapparee 12 Oct 14 - 08:24 PM
Amos 12 Oct 14 - 11:27 PM
gnu 13 Oct 14 - 06:02 AM
Rapparee 13 Oct 14 - 04:35 PM
gnu 13 Oct 14 - 07:25 PM
Acme 13 Oct 14 - 08:35 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 14 - 08:43 PM
gnu 13 Oct 14 - 10:02 PM
Rapparee 14 Oct 14 - 09:38 AM
GUEST 14 Oct 14 - 05:30 PM
Rapparee 14 Oct 14 - 05:54 PM
Rapparee 14 Oct 14 - 05:54 PM
gnu 14 Oct 14 - 07:02 PM
Rapparee 15 Oct 14 - 09:10 AM
gnu 15 Oct 14 - 10:21 AM
Amos 15 Oct 14 - 10:48 AM
Rapparee 15 Oct 14 - 08:03 PM
Rapparee 16 Oct 14 - 08:53 AM
Acme 16 Oct 14 - 11:37 AM
Rapparee 16 Oct 14 - 10:01 PM
Rapparee 16 Oct 14 - 10:05 PM
Ebbie 17 Oct 14 - 02:10 AM
Amos 17 Oct 14 - 10:34 AM
gnu 17 Oct 14 - 11:18 AM
Ebbie 17 Oct 14 - 04:14 PM
Rapparee 17 Oct 14 - 07:17 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Oct 14 - 11:23 PM

I second Gnu's kind remarks toward SRS' prospects. I do not, however, second Rapparree's ribald ripe balderdash, and suggest he batten down the bitts and belay his bitter bantering before he betrays his buttocks and fouls his futtock shrouds.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Oct 14 - 05:22 AM

"Futtock shrouds are rope, wire or chain links in the rigging of a traditional square rigged ship. They run from the outer edges of a top downwards and inwards to a point on the mast or lower shrouds, and carry the load of the shrouds that rise from the edge of the top. This prevents any tendency of the top itself to tilt relative to the mast." In case you didn't already look it up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 14 - 08:23 AM

Well, fog mah glasses! Ain't nobody knew that 'ceptin' gnu!

Ol' Amos -- who's just a Rating -- regularly repairs running ratlines. He thinks "futtock shrouds" means somethin' socially unacceptable, like "I'm a-gonna kick you in the futtocks" or somethin'. Now gnu, he knows stuff, jist like ah do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Oct 14 - 01:55 PM

Ahyup. I do know my stuff. Highlight, click "Search with Google", copy, paste. I am up on my stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 14 - 10:33 PM

Tomorrow is my remaining brother's birthday; he will be 68. He has rotator cuff surgery on Friday; originally it was scheduled for tomorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Oct 14 - 06:06 AM

Whadya get um?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 14 - 09:46 AM

A card. He's got a loving wife and family, plenty of guns and ammo, a new furnace, a nice place to live, and food on the table. I'll give him a thrill later and call him. Then I'll call him tomorrow evening as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 14 - 08:41 PM

Alack and alas! It is up to me, the Hero, to rescue Mom from the Sty At The Bottom! Fortunate it is that I happened by and was able to rescue her from A Fate Worse Than Death!

That's why I'm her favorite.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 14 - 09:04 PM

Whatever might be next? Banjos? Accordions?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Oct 14 - 11:28 PM

You guys pain my sensitive soul and besmirch my poetic license. I am succinctly awar eof the LITERAL meaning of futtock shrouds, and have actually climbed some. But I was using the phrase in a poetic and metaphorical fashion, which appears to have gone far over your pointy little heads. Never mind. You are my brothers under Mom and I will forgive and forget until the next time.

Hugs,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 14 - 08:59 AM

The International Sisterhood and Brotherhood of Poets, Rhymers, and Poetasters of the World (IS&BPRPotW) revoked your License three years ago, Amos. Hasn't the Poesiepolizei kicked in your door, ripped it from trembling hand, and ground it to dust under their hobnailed jackboots yet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Oct 14 - 12:38 PM

Sorry for the absence. I've just finished a big boring scanning project and now I'm moving on to a large techie editing project. I had too many little screens for scanning software on my monitor to make it easy to run a browser also. They need a second monitor on that scanning computer so there's room for BS alongside the mindless tasks. Helps keep one awake.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 14 - 08:48 AM

I scan!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Oct 14 - 11:34 AM

As the Thanksgiving long weekend draws very nigh, I am thankful for spotting the last available 30 pack hidden on the floor behind the big promotional sign and for the Vito's lasagna I just took out of the fridge to warm up before putting it into the oven. Let's see... beer, lasagna... yup, that's it. Oh! And for the Patriot's big win on Sunday. It'll be two weeks in a row. They are on a winning streak!

P.S. Screw the Cubs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Oct 14 - 12:04 PM

If that lasagna was in the freezer it's actually better to put it in the oven frozen, but give it a longer heating time. Less likely to grow unfriendly bugs that way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Gnu's Evil Twin
Date: 10 Oct 14 - 02:31 PM

Behold someone who believes! In Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Patriots!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 14 - 07:57 PM

Why are you bad-mouthing the Cubs? They're pretty innocuous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Oct 14 - 09:29 PM

I am not nnocuin the Cubs, I'm just sayin screw em. And as for frozen, Lasagna,

2014.04.22 (FROZEN)

Fridge day before.

12:00 200F

3:15 350F

3:50 Out.

4:05 Cut up. Perfect.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 14 - 11:06 PM

Rap says he scans. I say it's about time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Oct 14 - 03:37 PM

You don't look askance at Rap's scanning?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Oct 14 - 05:38 PM

That's an open ended question?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 14 - 06:30 PM

It could be asked if SPanish dance
Would make the heart look cold askance
At Rapparree in his fancy pants.
His problematic scansion
WOuld not lend itself to dancing.
And Spanishers dancers with disdain
Would sieve his scansion through a skein
Or warp it through a weir of rhythm
'Til satisfaction he would give 'em.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Oct 14 - 09:58 PM

It's got a nice beat and it's easy to dance to. I'll give it a ninety five.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 14 - 08:23 PM

I'd give it an 85 at most. No beat, no drums, just Amos and his lute.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 14 - 08:24 PM

Oh, yeah. My wife drove around the 'hood for 45 minutes today. DROVE.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 14 - 11:27 PM

If there were a Like button, I would click it, but I cannot. Nevertheless, I do like your last post, Sir Booque.

In my mind's eye I have conquered sea, audiences, and miles today, but my real eyes are doing a much shabbier job of adventure. This is why life is so hard in the physical universe. It's all force, persistency, mass and momentum, with no room for flights of the spirit. I am putting in for a transfer, I tells ya!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Oct 14 - 06:02 AM

Ditto on the Like button!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 14 - 04:35 PM

Of course, she hit six kids, a dozen mailboxes, three cars, a skunk, and a cop. But she drove for forty-five minutes!

The skunk was with the cop. We don't use police dogs out here -- police skunks are more effective. Some baddies would shoot a police dog or otherwise harm it, but they give right up when a police SKUNK waddles toward them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Oct 14 - 07:25 PM

I was taught to terminate skunks on sight with extreme prejudice. Kids and mailboxes? Not so much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Oct 14 - 08:35 PM

Next week Pat graduates to flying a plane or captaining a yacht?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 14 - 08:43 PM

She flies a shuttle to the ISS -- private contract, of course.

Seriously, this was more of an exercise than anything else. She wanted to see if she still knew how; later this week she has a class and I'll drive her to it ("Gawwan and git in there!"). She's not about to tackle any sort of traffic -- yesterday everyone else was in church and the streets were clear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Oct 14 - 10:02 PM

No matter. It is WONDERful news, Rap. A breath of fresh air at this day and hour.

Perhaps I could share what is currently on my playlist.

I am very much looking forward to YTing a tune I was thinking of this afternoon. If you have any idea about what that was, feel free to remind me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 14 - 09:38 AM

It came to me during the night: it was set to the tune of "Men Of Harlech" played in waltz time.

Story in the local paper today: the Sheriff's department has purchased an animal cop which is a cross between a skunk, a porcupine, and an armadillo. The Sheriff said, "We now have armored, sticky, and stinky capabilities. We will only use this with our SWAT team or whenever we have to." I think the militarization of the police has gone too far.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Oct 14 - 05:30 PM

Two posts after this one will be a prime number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 14 - 05:54 PM

The animal is called a arskupo. That's because the armadillo genes are prevalent. If the skunk genes were it would be a skuporarm and if the porcupine were it would be a porskuarm. They are still working of the names for the various variants, because they want them to be named to reflect the dominant-subdominant-subsubdominant genetic makeup, in that order.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 14 - 05:54 PM

I'm prime!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Oct 14 - 07:02 PM

I am primed. Well, reasonably well oiled. Time for a semi pain free walk. I tidied Mum's garage and got some other stuff done but I had to lift some heavy items so I will be toast for several days after my prime time has timed out. Gotta get a walk in now because walking will be rather difficult as toast. Sooo... if anyone needs to get in contact with me, leave a message after the beep. If it's an emergency, dial 911 and scream "HELP M..." and then drop the phone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 14 - 09:10 AM

I've got some primers, paint and otherwise. Got some percussion caps, too...just the things to start your day with a bang.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Oct 14 - 10:21 AM

Powder can be difficult to get around here I hear. However, Cabellas and Bass Pro are coming to town so reloaders shouldn't have a problem. Yesterday, I went to see the Cabellas building under construction about 2 km from me. BIG store! Gonna put the local shops and smiths out of business. They'll take a fair bit of business away from Crappy Tire too. Damn Yankees!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Oct 14 - 10:48 AM

I am ready to cavort, dammit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 14 - 08:03 PM

I have A Theory.

Global warming is proven, except for those who prefer to live in caves and scratch their fleas.

Hot air rises. Cold air "sinks." Clouds trap heat.

As the climate warms, hot air will rise but will be trapped by the clouds. This will force the cold air at the tops of mountains to sink into the valleys. Thus, as the mountaintops melt the valleys will freeze. Eventually the melted mountaintops will fill in the valleys and the Earth will be a flat, featureless plain. Then the weather will be flat and featureless as well...bland, no bite to it. Thus, the world ends not with a bang, but a whimper (to quote some poet).

Oh, yeah. Thomas Stearns Eliot. Ol' TS himself. One of Saint Louie's progeny.

Some the world will look like a patient etherized upon a table, to cite ol' TS again.

That's my theory, anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Oct 14 - 08:53 AM

Okay, so nobody disagrees. My theory has been peer-reviewed (as if anyone anywhere could could up to my standards of peerage!).

My only decisions left to make is first, in which learned journal to publish and, second, what to say in my speech accepting the Nobel prizes I'm sure to win. (I was taught the best way to handle great flame in grade school in the '50s. "Duck and cover" handles most situations.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Oct 14 - 11:37 AM

Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Oct 14 - 10:01 PM

...do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers and walk upon the beach.
I grow old, I grow old. I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Oct 14 - 10:05 PM

Or to put it another way,

...ez naiz ausartzen melokotoi bat jan?
Zuri franelazko galtza jantziko ditu I eta hondartza gainean oinez.
Zaharra hazten dut, zaharra hazten dut. Nire praka ijetzitako hondoan jantziko ditut.

Ol' TS makes as much sense in Basque as in English.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 17 Oct 14 - 02:10 AM

Nice job, Amos! Thanks for the link, guhnu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Oct 14 - 10:34 AM

Hark! It is the voice of our resident rakeshame,known to all as a vile, dissolute wretcha rampallion, a scroyle, a runnion. HE is a famous pander, a cullion and international crack-rope, renowned mammalucca, top-drawer jadroo;, and a snarky snipe to boot!

But still, we love him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Oct 14 - 11:18 AM

When asked why old folks drive slowly, I reply "Because we can." However, when one has to go to several shops and sees what I saw on the radar, old folks can drive just as fast as those with fancy weehicles and little skill. Plus, it helps if you have a big hulkin pickup truck... makes the Tonka Toys leery. Just sat me arse in the chair and Dog raised his big leg in the sky. Add a 40kph wind and she's wet as whale shit out there. Duck and worm weather.

In here where me arse is sat, it's dry and snuggly. Snagged some McCain's frozen pizza on sale for $4 per and I had $1 off coupons. Imagine my delight when I saw the Bud on sale! I even traded a five dollar bill for a looto ticket worth $10M. Great day so far eh?

I hope youse and yours are living the dream too.

P.S. That there Room 101 thread? Cranky old men.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 17 Oct 14 - 04:14 PM

I had a taking-aback thought yesterday.

On a mug I saw "How Long does it take to get thin?"

And I realized the correct answer is:

"As long as it took to get fat".



waaaaaaah!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Oct 14 - 07:17 PM

Don't weep, Ebbie. Mom doesn't like it when people weep. It depresses her and makes everything wet. gnu doesn't need wet. It will dilute his (shudder!) Budweiser.

An old limerick:

There was a young lady, Ann Heiser,
Who said that no man could surprise her.
But a fellow named Blatz
Found a Schiltz in her pants,
And now she is sadder Budweiser.


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