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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 26 Nov 17 - 10:09 PM
khandu 26 Nov 17 - 11:23 AM
Acme 26 Nov 17 - 10:27 AM
Amos 26 Nov 17 - 08:53 AM
Rapparee 25 Nov 17 - 09:55 PM
khandu 25 Nov 17 - 08:58 PM
khandu 25 Nov 17 - 08:37 PM
Amos 25 Nov 17 - 01:48 PM
keberoxu 24 Nov 17 - 02:08 PM
Amos 24 Nov 17 - 09:25 AM
Amos 23 Nov 17 - 01:51 PM
Acme 23 Nov 17 - 09:26 AM
keberoxu 22 Nov 17 - 10:34 PM
Rapparee 22 Nov 17 - 07:49 PM
gnu 22 Nov 17 - 05:18 PM
Acme 22 Nov 17 - 05:09 PM
Rapparee 22 Nov 17 - 04:04 PM
Amos 21 Nov 17 - 01:07 PM
gnu 20 Nov 17 - 06:19 PM
Rapparee 20 Nov 17 - 10:56 AM
Donuel 20 Nov 17 - 07:03 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Nov 17 - 05:18 PM
Amos 19 Nov 17 - 09:32 AM
Amos 19 Nov 17 - 09:31 AM
Acme 18 Nov 17 - 10:22 PM
Rapparee 18 Nov 17 - 08:34 PM
keberoxu 18 Nov 17 - 05:12 PM
Rapparee 18 Nov 17 - 11:54 AM
Acme 18 Nov 17 - 11:35 AM
gnu 17 Nov 17 - 04:49 PM
Rapparee 16 Nov 17 - 09:14 PM
gnu 16 Nov 17 - 07:34 PM
Rapparee 15 Nov 17 - 12:45 PM
Amos 14 Nov 17 - 02:42 PM
gnu 13 Nov 17 - 05:22 PM
Amos 13 Nov 17 - 01:05 PM
Acme 12 Nov 17 - 10:30 PM
Amos 12 Nov 17 - 09:33 PM
Acme 11 Nov 17 - 01:20 PM
Rapparee 10 Nov 17 - 10:13 PM
Rapparee 10 Nov 17 - 04:47 PM
Amos 10 Nov 17 - 02:34 PM
Rapparee 10 Nov 17 - 11:35 AM
Rapparee 09 Nov 17 - 11:09 PM
Rapparee 09 Nov 17 - 10:50 PM
Acme 08 Nov 17 - 08:41 PM
Donuel 08 Nov 17 - 08:25 PM
Donuel 08 Nov 17 - 07:49 PM
Rapparee 08 Nov 17 - 06:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Nov 17 - 05:37 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 17 - 10:09 PM

That last message was from some imposter imposting as me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 26 Nov 17 - 11:23 AM

Rap...when I read nothing worthy of note, I do not make note of it! I am certain Amos and his ilk will handle you. Posthaste!

Amos, Spaw's farts still waft through the hall of MOAB. Or perhaps that is the essence of his spirit we occasionally get a whiff of.

Give all my best until next time!

ken


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Nov 17 - 10:27 AM

I miss Spaw. Thanks for the reminder. Rustic still drops in occasionally.

MOM, do you want me to plant Brussels Sprouts in the winter garden this year? They look gnarly but I'm not fond of eating them. #VegetablesAsYardArt


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 17 - 08:53 AM

I knew Rapp would go too far one day. Messing with Mom's breakfast cereal was bad enough. Now he wants to go mano-a-mano with our Founding King. The man is clearly a public disgrace for this wild-eyed act of lese-majeste, and should be contained. I think the bad boys in that mad-ass club of his should round him up. The very idea of out-deigning the King hisself is disgustipatin', is what.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Nov 17 - 09:55 PM

We find the usurper, yclept "King Khandu", is visiting in this, Our realm. This will be tolerated, but it is strictly forbidden to eulogize or praise him.

We have spoken.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®    His Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 25 Nov 17 - 08:58 PM

The Queen Cheryl came in aghast and angry. I left out another wondrous Utterance...
Behold for yourselves;


Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel - PM
Date: 07 May 03 - 09:44 PM

The mother of all threads, that's what King K. said,
trying hard to perpetuate a scene.
To behave, is simply a jesterly thing, and the situation close to obscene.
King K. proclaimed that the thread will be, nothing less than purlieu.
Start it and they will come, and leave as quickly when they read it through.
To come here with anything less than bullshit, would be a subject of a different matter,
This would be an outrage, an act of defiance, the King will have your head on a platter.
So listen to your head, and this bullshit thread,
and let the words flow from your hearts
King K's thread is here stay , and for ever a place for Spaws farts.
The End.
Rustic



I am ashamed and agog at my misstep. And I am in Royal Tears as I read such Beautiful Poetry coming from the bowels of MOM!

Is not Life Grand!

Kk, KOTEKOM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 25 Nov 17 - 08:37 PM

Hello Mom! A Happy Holiday season to you and all those who have faithfully filled you with undefiled BS! You have done her proud!
I thank ye for being such good children.

My best to all of you in the this land of MOAB. Amos, press on, Buddy! We rooting for ye! Attitude makes a big difference and you have one!(Insert smiley face at this point),

Speaking of points, I want to remind all of you of Words of Prophetic Utterance, uh, uttered by that wise sage of the Land of BS, Little Hawk;
words of which I, my Royal Self, was reminded as Hortense C. Durp read to my Royal Self a mere 17 moments ago, as she renewed my memories of the genesis of Mom. Indeed, it was a return to the days of yore as I listened to the voice of Durp recite the Joyous Angst of those worrisome and wearisome days, when we were much younger and full of the stuff of which this wondrous Thread has been built.

Read Now, the Utterance of Little Hawk, a man of my ilk.


Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk - PM
Date: 07 May 03 - 01:24 PM

The situation will definitely get worse. Solipsism will increase exponentially. The lowly fart joke will be buried under an avalanche of less predictable drivel. People's intelligence will be insulted. Their tolerance will be put to the test. William Shatner references will pop up in all kinds of places where they patently do not belong.

Those who were not alive to witness this exciting time will envy those of us who lived through it. These are the days of legend, the best of times and the worst of times. Thesa are the salad days. This is the cherry on the cake, the turd in the crapper.

Cherish it, ye heathen! (While yet ye may...)

- LH



I am muzzled, stricken with Awe. Hail to Thee, Hawk of Little.

King knardazz, uh,(that damned Tweed!) khandu of the Ethereal Kingdom of Mississippi...He who still proclaims, "Joe Offer is no Igmo"!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Nov 17 - 01:48 PM

ALas, daily duties go on, just when everything is supposed to turn magical. Never you mind, Mom. We still care and will see you through to another K.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 Nov 17 - 02:08 PM

For Thanksgiving I had an entrée salad with chicken breast
instead of turkey-with-all-the-fixin's.

And slept better that night than I have
after many an overstuffed Thanksgiving. Lesson learned?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Nov 17 - 09:25 AM

The day's gone by, the dead birds are now chilled, the pies and potatos mere memories or left-overs. Mom is still snoozing on her chaise, having stuffed herself to the gills with pecan pie, candied yams, cranberries sucrés, and seet post-prandial liqueurs. The rest of the world has awoken and has embraced the business of the Friday morning after.

Happy Friday, Mom. Here's some black coffee for you to kickstart the circulation!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Nov 17 - 01:51 PM

I am very grateful for the energy and skill that others expend on my behalf, both directly and indirectly.

Other things for which gratitude wells up: the love of good companions, of family, and of kind souls in small towns. The wealth provided by long experience and a sense of humor. A life free of entangling bureaucracies and multi-tiered administrative gobbledygook (except, of course, when dealing with gummint agencies, health care organizations, insurance, taxes, and large corporate help desks.) A long life in good health, more or less, and a head full of wonderful songs and the will to sing 'em (regardless of ability). A wife I could not live without, a son in whom I am right proud, and a dog who seems to adore me, when hungry. For a lovely home and family with whom to share it, for the silence of the woods and the soft whisper of history that surrounds the colonial town where I live, and the lonesome whistle of the North Carolina RR as it rattles through town. And the stark bright blue of the North Carolina skies, and the thrill of belonging to a country in which I can still invest my affection and pride despite all the strange challenges of the last decade.

And for all of you, good Mudcat souls hither and yon!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Nov 17 - 09:26 AM

The chocolate Lab Zeke was the handy cleanup crew when I dropped the yogurt container. I think that inoculated the day from further food disasters. Getting it over with early.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 22 Nov 17 - 10:34 PM

Wishing all of you a safe and healthy Thanksgiving.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 17 - 07:49 PM

None but the brave! La garde meurt et ne se rend pas !


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Nov 17 - 05:18 PM

FOUR lobsters. 1.53kg in total. Fresh cooked by my guy Marc. $78!!! He didn't even charge me the extra $1 a pound ta cook 'em with little salt. I HATE the Japanese and the Chinese and the Europeans! Sweet gentle sufferin' Jaysus. $14/# for ****ing lobster? Big jets fly out of Moncton every night carrying lobsters to foreign countries... the bastards!

But, Mum turns 91 tomorrow so I would have paid twice the price for a good feed. Cooked a big 'special' dinner on Sunday. Got her two dozen roses on Monday. Lobster today. Nana's Bakery coconut cream pie tomorrow after a seafood platter from Skipper Jack's tomorrow. And, not only a Bday card from me but one from our MP. I might not show her the one from our MP... might upset her to see how the MP is wasting tax dollars... I ordered it so I could post this waste of time and money on social media.

Hope all is okay with with you all. gnightgnu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Nov 17 - 05:09 PM

Coming up - the annual full-body workout, accomplished in the kitchen, at the end up which every part of me aches from walking around, standing, shifting, lifting, clearing, and cleaning. Otherwise known as the Thanksgiving dinner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 17 - 04:04 PM

You'll get through it, Amos. Then you too can be singing this song.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 17 - 01:07 PM

Oh, thanks, thanks, I am sure. This is not my bullet, just a raving pain-in-th-ass distraction from more important things. Here I was, wandering through the forest minding my own beeswax, and suddenly I am jumped by a gang of polysyllabic medicine men with incantations and sparkly masks. Where's Rama of the Jungle when you need him? As I said, them as is born to hang ain't gonna drown.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Nov 17 - 06:19 PM

A... Keep your stick on the ice, keep your laces tight, and keep your head up coming across the blue line. We're all in this together.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Nov 17 - 10:56 AM

Congratulations, Amos! You're a big boy now!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Nov 17 - 07:03 AM

The first entirely self cloned organ is the human bladder
The Sphinx like secret is still the sphincter


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Nov 17 - 05:18 PM

Hi, Mom!

Why do people say someone is "naked as a jaybird"? Aren't all birds naked? How is a jaybird more naked than a mockingbird or a ruffed grouse?

I think I shall say "naked as a pileated woodpecker" from now on. Pileated woodpeckers are no more or less naked than jaybirds, but I like them a whole lot more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 17 - 09:32 AM

The iatrogenic suffering has now subsided. I can pee standing up without cursing and moaning, and in normal colors, too! Meanwhile, while I am sure I have excellent doctors, it is strange for me to be on such foreign soil, listening to well-informed dissertations on such things as metastasis and the side-effects of chemotherapy compounds.

I have concluded that being diagnosed with this condition of "cancer" is a little bit like being Jewish. It's something you don't just forget, and even when you put your mind on other things, it always pops up in remindment, a continuous subcurrent and psychic nagging presence.

In any case we are forging ahead; new PET scans and MRI have been requested to determine the boundary conditions.

It's kinda boring, actually, and I think in the future I will talk about something else.

Oy, vey! :D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 17 - 09:31 AM

I woke up this morning in North Carolina. I had no idea! What a lovely state of affairs. :D

The iatrogenic suffering has now subsided. I can pee standing up without cursing and moaning, and in normal colors, too! Meanwhile, while I am sure I have excellent doctors, it is strange for me to be on such foreign soil, listening to well-informed dissertations on such things as metastasis and the side-effects of chemotherapy compounds.

I have concluded that being diagnosed with this condition of "cancer" is a little bit like being Jewish. It's something you don't just forget, and even when you put your mind on other things, it always pops up in remindment, a continuous subcurrent and psychic nagging presence.

In any case we are forging ahead; new PET scans and MRI have been requested to determine the boundary conditions.

It's kinda boring, actually, and I think in the future I will talk about something else.

Oy, vey! :D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Nov 17 - 10:22 PM

True, but they mess up the yard even more than an excavator.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 17 - 08:34 PM

Explosives can clean out your drains!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Nov 17 - 05:12 PM

Hang in there, Acme.

First, employment for the adult children.
Next, straighten out kinky plumbing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 17 - 11:54 AM

Explosives, I tell you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Nov 17 - 11:35 AM

I've had all three, they're all delicious. One of the perks of having friends who hunt.

MOM, they're making a huge mess and a lot of noise in the front yard today. The guy who built this house had some peculiar ideas about landscaping and they're having to break through a chunk of concrete foundation that once held up a butt-ugly stone planter box. The sewer line being replaced runs under the corner of it. They're pretty self-contained, I'm in the way if I'm out there much. The best thing I can do is stay out from underfoot, and I'll watch the equipment when they go take lunch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Nov 17 - 04:49 PM

Haven't be able to hunt for about 8 years. I hunt vicariously through others in the NB hunting forums. Got some buddies that hunt and they share when they are successful.

So, last night, fried onions on the go and then a moose steak. DEEEEElicious! Thanks again, Eric. You're one of the good guys.
Tonight? More onions! Elk steak from AB! I was talking to a teller (lovely young lady) at my bank a while back about the weather and said I wished I could still get up to the Kent County woods. She asked me if I hunted. Long story but she loves to get out in the woods and her close relatives got an elk in AB so I will be peeling onions soon.

Moose last night. Elk tonight. Don't get no better than that!
First time for elk for me. The steaks look really nice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Nov 17 - 09:14 PM

SOMEBODY SAID THAT IT COULDN'T BE DONE

Somebody said that it couldn't be done--
But he, with a grin, replied,
He'd never be one to say it couldn't be done--
Leastways, not 'til he'd tried.
So he buckled right in, with a trace of a grin,
By golly, he went right to it!
He tackled The Thing That Couldn't Be Done!
And he couldn't do it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Nov 17 - 07:34 PM

A... Keep your stick on the ice and keep your head up at the Blue Line.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Nov 17 - 12:45 PM

Amos, Pat's had five (5) different types of cancer each time she's been diagnosed with it. Trust your docs (get good ones!) and remember that Medicare will pay for a second opinion, and even a third if the first two disagree.

As for the contents of the package, it may have been a magazine holding 9 rounds of 7.65mm ammunition for a 1922 Model FN Browning patent pistol my FIL obtained during the Battle of the Bulge, or it may not. Probably not. But then you can never tell.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Nov 17 - 02:42 PM

I am taking steps to get second opinions from two prestigious outfits--Mayo and UNC. This one weird passage indeed. I keep reminding myself that those born to hang won't drown.

Most of my life I have cringed at the very word for cancer, not wanting anything to do with the very concept. Today, I embrace is as a welcome foe. ;D

So far, the remedies have been more painful and constraining than the condition was. Little wonder I look askance at over-eager medicos. But when you need 'em, you need 'em, ya know what I mean?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Nov 17 - 05:22 PM

Forgive my abstinence. I have been saddled with extra duties in these past few months.

I only read a few posts. A... I hope that clears up.

I am off to fulfill my nursing duties to one of the toughest people on the planet... Mum.

Carry on. Smoke 'em if ya got 'em. Tight lines and straight shootin' to all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Nov 17 - 01:05 PM

Enquiring minds want to know what really IS in Rapaire?s package. This conundrum has been the ruin of many a puzzled maiden, in years gone by, and the answer never made public knowledge. Only Rapaire knows the real reason, though rumors abound.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Nov 17 - 10:30 PM

That's not BS, Amos. Take care of that and yourself!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Nov 17 - 09:33 PM

It has been a very weird week, here, Mom. We had a smashing success of a party all afternoon and evening yesterdfay, an open house to finally warm the new digs with all the neighbors in and all the friends we've made in various circles since we started here in Hillsborough, Nawth Carolina. The place was jamming with laughter and good craic, some fine music, good food and wine,merriment on every hand. A grand night had by all.

Yesterday morning I went down to nearby Graham, NC and opened for a big band playing for the annual Veterans Day gathering--free hot dogs, especially for Vietnam Vets, and a rollicking beach band. As the opening act we played for about forty minutes to good reception as the crowd filled in, before I had to run home and ready up for the housewarming party.

At the same time I am wrassling with a bizarre medical issue--a small tumor found in the bladder which was excised and sent off to pathology, who tell it was a high-grade malignant carcinoma. So now the cannibals want to slice out major pieces of my internal anatomy and I am scrambling for a second opinion. I guess it's what you might call living in interesting times.

I shall advise as the mellerdrammer unfolds!

A
First Vowel


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Nov 17 - 01:20 PM

Thanks for the update, Rap.

This was a weird year for Veteran's Day; I expected the bank to be closed but it wasn't. And the mail was delivered. I don't think there's mail delivery today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 17 - 10:13 PM

Collected my package from the PO box and had dinner with Eisely. She's well and her oldest son is a senior in college (chemistry, he presented a paper at the American Chemical Society meeting in Frisco last year)
and working on the chemistry of beer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 17 - 04:47 PM

But I've yet to collect my package. But I'm joining a friend (Eisley) for dinner and I'll collect it on the way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 17 - 02:34 PM

My package is right where it has always been. Your post made me a little nervous, so I went and checked. It?s fine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 17 - 11:35 AM

My package is supposed to be in my PO box!!! On a Federal holiday. Right.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 17 - 11:09 PM

Mom has been singing this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 17 - 10:50 PM

Hi, Mom! You sober yet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Nov 17 - 08:41 PM

Tonight I cast my votes for the proxy on my retirement plan. The board wanted me to vote for the first six, and I did, but I voted for the seventh, that they wanted me to vote against, to do with holding stock in companies that commit horrendous crimes against humanity. I'm sure the board sees it as an unadministerable do-gooder shareholder initiative, but heck. War crimes? I can live without them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Nov 17 - 08:25 PM

please sign

aw common anybody?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Nov 17 - 07:49 PM

1840 Fair and Free Elections

sung to Yankee Doodle





While some on rights and some on wrongs
Prefer their own reflections,
The people's right's demand our song
-- The right of free elections.

For government and order's sake
And law's important sections,
Let's all stand by the ballot box
For freedom of elections.

Refrain:
Law and order be the stake
With freedom and protection,
Let all stand by the ballot box
For fair and free elections.

Each town and county's zeal and peace
Its trade and all connections,
With science, arts must all increase
By fair and free elections

Then thwart the schemes of fighting lands
And traitor disaffections,
Stand up with willing heart and hands
For fair and free elections.

Should enemies beset us round
Of foreign fierce complexions,
Undaunted we can stand our ground
Upheld by free elections.

Elections are to make us laws
For trade, peace and protection,
Who hacks the vote forsakes the cause
Of fair and free elections.


found with the help of Oscar Brand


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Nov 17 - 06:21 PM

Song about Garfield.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Nov 17 - 05:37 PM

Mom may have meant John Garfield. She has a fondness for rebellious types.

And, since this is a folk music site, it is worth pointing out that both John Garfield and James A. Garfield have been the subjects of songs. I am not aware of any songs about Garfield the cat. That does not necessarily mean there are none. I'm not personally cognizant of every song ever written, Just the good ones.


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