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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 06 Aug 07 - 04:04 PM
Amos 06 Aug 07 - 04:03 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 06 Aug 07 - 04:03 PM
Little Hawk 06 Aug 07 - 04:02 PM
Amos 06 Aug 07 - 03:52 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 06 Aug 07 - 03:44 PM
Little Hawk 06 Aug 07 - 03:26 PM
MMario 06 Aug 07 - 03:25 PM
Little Hawk 06 Aug 07 - 03:15 PM
Amos 06 Aug 07 - 03:02 PM
JennyO 06 Aug 07 - 07:26 AM
Acme 06 Aug 07 - 12:21 AM
Rapparee 05 Aug 07 - 11:03 PM
Amos 05 Aug 07 - 09:49 PM
Amos 05 Aug 07 - 03:31 PM
JennyO 05 Aug 07 - 01:26 PM
Rapparee 05 Aug 07 - 11:09 AM
Acme 05 Aug 07 - 11:02 AM
Amos 05 Aug 07 - 10:59 AM
Rapparee 05 Aug 07 - 10:52 AM
Amos 05 Aug 07 - 10:26 AM
Amos 05 Aug 07 - 01:32 AM
JennyO 05 Aug 07 - 01:27 AM
Amos 05 Aug 07 - 01:11 AM
Amos 05 Aug 07 - 01:00 AM
Acme 05 Aug 07 - 12:49 AM
Rapparee 05 Aug 07 - 12:20 AM
Acme 05 Aug 07 - 12:05 AM
Rapparee 05 Aug 07 - 12:02 AM
Amos 04 Aug 07 - 03:46 AM
Acme 04 Aug 07 - 02:34 AM
Amos 03 Aug 07 - 03:23 PM
Amos 03 Aug 07 - 03:22 PM
MMario 03 Aug 07 - 03:22 PM
MMario 03 Aug 07 - 03:21 PM
Amos 03 Aug 07 - 03:20 PM
Amos 03 Aug 07 - 03:19 PM
Amos 03 Aug 07 - 03:17 PM
Amos 03 Aug 07 - 02:07 PM
beardedbruce 03 Aug 07 - 02:00 PM
Amos 03 Aug 07 - 11:28 AM
Acme 03 Aug 07 - 11:01 AM
Acme 03 Aug 07 - 10:45 AM
MMario 03 Aug 07 - 10:09 AM
beardedbruce 03 Aug 07 - 10:06 AM
Acme 03 Aug 07 - 09:54 AM
Acme 03 Aug 07 - 09:53 AM
MMario 03 Aug 07 - 09:27 AM
beardedbruce 03 Aug 07 - 09:26 AM
Acme 03 Aug 07 - 08:59 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 04:04 PM

Mom! Finally got here! I don't know if all of the dueling chatter between Amos and Hawk has jammed the channels, but anyway, I'm here now. It's hot out--have some iced tea. And if you don't drink it, you'll have it handy to throw on one of the boys if they turn blue in the face during that duel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 04:03 PM

Lo, how the evidence reveals your duplicity:


7 Little Hawk   RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads   06-Aug-07 - 03:15 PM
8 Little Hawk   RE: Diane - Who DO you like?   06-Aug-07 - 01:55 PM
9 Little Hawk   RE: BS: Spy Network in U.S.   06-Aug-07 - 01:50 PM
10 Little Hawk   RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!   06-Aug-07 - 01:49 PM
11 Little Hawk   RE: BS: And the next US President will be   06-Aug-07 - 01:47 PM
12 Little Hawk   RE: BS: Circumcision: pros and cons   06-Aug-07 - 09:52 AM
13 Little Hawk   RE: Diane - Who DO you like?   06-Aug-07 - 09:50 AM
14 Little Hawk   RE: BS: And the next US President will be   06-Aug-07 - 09:43 AM
15 Little Hawk   RE: BS: Conflate THIS!!!   06-Aug-07 - 09:27 AM
16 Little Hawk   RE: BS: Circumcision: pros and cons   06-Aug-07 - 09:26 AM
17 Little Hawk   RE: BS: And the next US President will be   06-Aug-07 - 12:58 AM
18 Little Hawk   RE: BS: Bridge Collapse over Mississippi River   06-Aug-07 - 12:13 AM
19 Little Hawk   RE: what phrases do you hate?   06-Aug-07 - 12:08 AM
20 Little Hawk   RE: BS: A Death Wish?   05-Aug-07 - 08:36 PM
21 Little Hawk   RE: BS: Circumcision: pros and cons   05-Aug-07 - 08:29 PM
22 Little Hawk   RE: BS: And the next US President will be   05-Aug-07 - 08:15 PM
23 Little Hawk   RE: BS: And the next US President will be   05-Aug-07 - 07:06 PM
24 Little Hawk   RE: BS: And the next US President will be   05-Aug-07 - 06:53 PM
25 Little Hawk   RE: BS: Circumcision: pros and cons   05-Aug-07 - 06:43 PM
26 Little Hawk   RE: BS: And the next US President will be   05-Aug-07 - 06:35 PM
27 Little Hawk   RE: BS: Circumcision: pros and cons   05-Aug-07 - 06:20 PM
28 Little Hawk   RE: BS: Circumcision: pros and cons   05-Aug-07 - 02:28 PM
29 Little Hawk   RE: BS: Spy Network in U.S.   05-Aug-07 - 02:16 PM
30 Little Hawk   RE: BS: And the next US President will be   05-Aug-07 - 02:16 PM
31 Little Hawk   RE: BS: Conflate THIS!!!   05-Aug-07 - 01:48 PM
32 Little Hawk   RE: BS: Frequently asked questions   05-Aug-07 - 01:47 PM
33 Little Hawk   RE: BS: Frequently given answers   05-Aug-07 - 01:43 PM
34 Little Hawk   RE: BS: A Death Wish?   05-Aug-07 - 02:02 AM
35 Little Hawk   RE: BS: Conflate THIS!!!   05-Aug-07 - 01:56 AM
=====================================================
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 01:03 AM
Subject: RE: The life of a thread From: Amos -
==================================================
36 Little Hawk   RE: BS: And the next US President will be   04-Aug-07 - 11:40 PM
37 Little Hawk   RE: BS: Circumcision: pros and cons   04-Aug-07 - 11:37 PM


Perhaps your Mister Shatner will now come and beam you out of this most dishonorable embrassment.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 04:03 PM

Aw, Christ, they've started. This is gonna be ugly.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 04:02 PM

"I advise you not to squawk further, lest the true depths of your depravity be revealed."

Humph. You have no idea of the true depths of my depravity, Amos. Don't forget that I have had 58 years in which to plumb those depths and nurture them. I do not reveal them to just anyone. No indeed. Only a chosen few are selected.

William Shatner. Winona Ryder. Diana Rigg. Penelope Rutledge. People who have proven themselves worthy.

You, sir, are not in such august company, and I fear you never shall be.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 03:52 PM

Sigh. Excuses, excuses. Your dark-spirited defamation of noble Mom's character will not be so easily overlooked, Monsieur Hack, nor will your flimsy explanations of awayness -- which is a chronic state of mind with you -- be any reason to deviate from the well-established Rules of the ancient Code of Honor, with which I am sure you are deeply unfamiliar, as demonstrated by your efforts at dodging. It is to no avail.

I advise you not to squawk further, lest the true depths of your depravity be revealed.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 03:44 PM

You got a lotta nerve, MMario! Stop perpetuatin' these dumb insulting stereotypes about primates or I will hafta come down there and teach you a lesson.

So...the two chumps wanta have a duel, huh? Hysterical. This'll be like one of them fights at the Nerd School, I figger. A lotta sound and not much action. In one corner we got a joker who talks way too much and tries to impress people with big words all the time...in the other corner we got....fer gosh sakes! It's another joker of the same friggin' type.

I can hardly tell these two clowns apart without a program, but I know one of 'em is livin' in California and the other one is livin' in Ontario, Canada. That makes arrangin' this duel kinda expensive and impractical, if ya ask me. The travel costs will be high, and what's the payoff? Who wants to go 3,000 miles to watch two nerds face off?

Normally I would recommend guns for a duel. Tommy guns would be pretty good, but pistols would be better in my opinion. It takes more skill to shoot someone with a pistol.

But in this case...naw....it'd be a waste of ammunition. And you'd have to stand 'em only three feet apart so it wouldn't last all day.

Look, here's my idea fer Amos and Hawk. Try talkin' each other to death. That eliminates the travel costs and it saves money on bullets too.

If it don't work out, I will be glad to show up with the tommy gun and finish the job. But on my schedule, not yours. I got work to do.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 03:26 PM

Whatever. The weapons matter not to me. Amos, your goose is cooked.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 03:25 PM

*sigh*

chongo will probably want to go with traditional Chimp weapons ;

amos - are you really up for poo at 10 paces?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 03:15 PM

I was away, Amos. I was engaged in business, yes, vitally important business! Ooooooo....I just bet you wish you knew what it was. But I'm not going to tell you. Ha! Ha! Ha!

So. You dare to issue a challenge against mois, do you? You shall pay dearly for that foolish decision on your part.

I choose Chongo as my second, and I think I'll let him choose the weapons too. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 03:02 PM

Aha!! A challenge duly given, and through base shame and fear, not answered, is a challenge fairly won. I own M. Hack's castles, chattels and land as of this day, and his mistresses are all forfeit also, nor may he tread the honest ground of this domain again without permission.

Ha.

Shatner THAT!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 07:26 AM

I wonder if he HAS a second. He does not seem to be answering your challenge, Amos. I perceive that dawn is already past, and still no word.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 12:21 AM

Frisbees at 100 paces.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 11:03 PM

Oh, dear. He has he choice of weapons. I will contact him for you and will make the necessary arrangements with his second.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 09:49 PM

Oh, what a poltroon!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 03:31 PM

User Name        Thread Name        Subject        Posted
[PM] Amos        The life of a thread (14)        RE: The life of a thread        05 Aug 07

"Ach, Monsieur Hack!! You are EXPOSED!! Oh, zee hypocrisy. You call on Mom like a zhentleman, and zen you lurk around dese BASE establishments engaging in slanderous gossip about 'er. Zee SHAME of it. Eet is unCONSCIONable, 'ow you say.

You will meet on ze Field of Honor at dawn, sir!! IF you can even find it."

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 01:26 PM

'Tis here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 11:09 AM

Ah, just out of curiousity and a need to know so that the whole thing goes off in a gentlemanly manner...in which thread did you make the challenge? Or was it off the cuff, so to speak?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 11:02 AM

Gorgeous morning today. I called the local Dirt Doctor (on the radio) to ask what ails my little dahlias in the front yard. He says they'd be happier further north. Perhaps I'll box them up and send them to Rap. If he survives the duel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 10:59 AM

No worries, Second Bolde. I doubt the real poltroon will stop and ask for directions.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 10:52 AM

"Water from pristine ice flows of Mars! Our springs are protected by distance and fierce critters from Barsoom, where for millions of years...." Sure. Just another ploy for bottled water.

Amos, I will second for you. I'm even in Canada. But remember, if you don't show up I'll have to fight the duel and then post you as a coward and poltroon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 10:26 AM

Hey, chilluns of BS!! THIS could be important and is at least a really dramatic paragraph:

Phoenix spacecraft launches to Mars

The NASA mission embarks on a 10-month journey to the Red Planet's north pole, where it is expected to be the first to sample the water of another world.

By John Johnson Jr., Times Staff Writer
August 5, 2007

NASA's Phoenix spacecraft launched Saturday morning from Cape Canaveral, Fla., on a 10-month journey to the north pole of Mars, where it is expected to be the first craft to taste the water of another planet.

The Delta II rocket carrying the 7-foot-tall lander lifted off at 5:26 a.m. on a scheduled 423million-mile journey that should deliver Phoenix to the Martian surface on May 25.

"Today's launch is the first step in the long journey to the surface of Mars," said Peter Smith, a University of Arizona astronomer who is lead scientist on the mission



I love them NASA dudes. Talk about firing up the imagination!! Wow. The waters of another world. Scrumptious!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 01:32 AM

SOmething like that, yes. But more innate.


And it is the betrayal of that Innatitude that leaves men like Hack wandering through the poorer parts of town, mongering his terrible falsehoods about others in a puerile effort to seem informed.


Never turn your back on your own Innatitude. For that which is Innate, coannot be fucked with.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 01:27 AM

Is the Field of Honor one of those places sorta like "If you build it, they will come"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 01:11 AM

By the way, our cousin Little Hawk, a frequent visitor here, a guest under Mom's roof, has taken to slandering Mom and her kids in other low-life dive sort of threads he frequents when not here. I have called him out for his boorish behaviour, and challenged him to find the Field of Honor in the morning. I ask Rapaire to second me.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 01:00 AM

Kids, this is no time to fight. I turn my back for five minutes and you're argy-barging while she's slipping into the cellar. For shame. You're both good Kids of Mom and you know it.

Today was company picnic buy the lake, and wrestling with contumacious ill-designed obstreperous software all afternoon.

I stayed up all last night finishing the Harry Potter finale. Read it in one sitting, about six hours straight, and sniffed my way to bed; a very satisfactory job. Grand stuff. Sigh. I want to go to Hogwarts, Mom.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 12:49 AM

Fat lot you know! I typed more, attempting to reassure her that she hadn't been forsaken, and I ran it through the spell check.

Sleep well, MOM.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 12:20 AM

I raised her up three minutes before you even cared about her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 12:05 AM

Whoa, MOM! Third from the bottom! What is everyone thinking? I went to a memorial for a friend and then to lunch at the house and then came home to do some hard digging and toting in the garden to burn off the sad memories. And what do I find this evening? No one has been by to check on you. Just because they're traveling or stuff like that--geesh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 12:02 AM

Hi, Mom. I'm in Jasper, AB. The mountains are pretty, you'd like them. Tuesday I'll be in Edmonton. I hope Amos has been a good boy and not his usual self.

I'll bring you some maple syrup back for the fresh blueberry pancakes I'll make you when I return.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Aug 07 - 03:46 AM

Ach, Man of Emms, you always were the slye dodger around here. Ptui!!

Anyway, we are now over the top for...dare I say it? ...another Grand!!! How grand? 100 per cent. How grand!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Aug 07 - 02:34 AM

Good one, Leo!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 03:23 PM

MOOOOOOOOM!!!!!! MMARIO TOOK MY EVEN HUNNERT!!!! MAKE HIM GIVE IT BACK!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 03:22 PM

But the time has come for smiles
And all cares cast off a while!
WE have mastered Grownup tricks!
Making peace-agreements stick!

(Finally, now, it's eighteen-six!!)

18600


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 03:22 PM

ACK! You tricked me into posting on an even Hundred! Oh No!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 03:21 PM

You're trying for 18600, aren't you Amos? Haven't you learned yet that those even numbers will bring you bad luck?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 03:20 PM

You cannot gainsay our Mom,
Even lying with aplomb;
No matter what you try to do, you
Can be sure she'll see right through you!
This will ruin peace of mind.

(Eighteen-five and ninety nine!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 03:19 PM

IF you must be rude and vile,
Do it somewhere else, a while
Or she'll come to you quite late
And rap her thimble on your pate!

(EIghteen-five and ninety eight!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 03:17 PM

Do not scrap or prang your brother!
You will aggravate our Mother
She will feed you bread unleavened,
And blockade your path to Heaven!

(Eighteen-five and ninety seven!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 02:07 PM

Aw, Bruce, don't worry about it.    These tiffs come an' go, but Mom's house continues--it's all part of growin' up. Why, you should see me an Rapaire go at it sometimes, but he's beginning to grow up, too! Don't forget -- Stilly's a girl. Them's different, ya know?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 02:00 PM

Since this seems to be Stilly's private little party, I will not bother you any more.

But watch out, since she likes to start trouble, then go running to Mom to get her out of it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 11:28 AM

According to my research, she doesn't have to worry. On average, a child born in the United States looks up to his or her mother for at least thirteen years, although there are some exceptions.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 11:01 AM

Amos, Amos, you must check this out for us! Paris Hilton has a jail now! I bet it's nicer than the Motel 6 in town. Please go spend the night next time you're in the LA area and report back:

Nicole Richie Will Do Time at Paris Hilton's Jail

Nicole Richie will serve her four-day jail sentence at the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, Calif. ? the same jail where Paris Hilton did her time. "[Richie's] attorney contacted us and indicated she wants to do her time there," said Steve Whitmore, spokesman for the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, adding that no surrender date was given.

Whitmore couldn't say whether Richie, who's four months pregnant, would be housed at the facility's medical ward. "That's all determined by our medical staff upon her arrival," said Whitmore. If not in the medical facility, Richie, 25, could likely be placed in a segregated unit for high-profile inmates, as Hilton initially was, and locked up for 23 hours a day.

However, the Simple Life star may benefit from an early release policy of nonviolent offenders due to L.A.'s jail overcrowding problem. In May 2006, because of the overcrowding, actress Michelle Rodriguez served only four hours and 20 minutes of her two-month jail sentence for violating probation stemming from a DUI arrest in Hawaii.

Richie's time stems from her arrest for DUI on Dec. 11. On Friday she pleaded guilty in the case.

On Thursday's Good Morning America, she said she hopes to change her ways for the sake of her unborn child. "I would really want to be someone my child would look up to," Richie told Diane Sawyer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 10:45 AM

Where's Rap and his rattling sabre when we need it? He's up galavanting around Alberta out of touch.

Mom, tell Brucie to go outside and play. He's that kid from down the street who comes to hang out on our porch every so often and steal your cookies when you're not looking. I know you'd offer them if he asked, but that doesn't seem to work for him.

I have to go print a photo for a memorial service tomorrow so I'll leave you with an extra big pitcher of lemonade. The ceiling fan is on and the screen door is latched to keep out flying pests. Walking pests should close the door behind them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 10:09 AM

Wheras I still have the outlook of a Cape Codder - for me, New York is a "western state".

And New Jersey is "southern"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 10:06 AM

Well, I am from the far EAST, so Texas to me looks very WEST.

But then, you never have been any good at seeing any viewpoint other than your own.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 09:54 AM

And anyway, pack it up and take it somewhere else if you want to argue your flavor of politics. This is a BS thread and doesn't need that kind of pollution!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 09:53 AM

Look at a map and draw a line. It's in the middle, and when you divide something down the middle you can safely say on one side is weat and on the other side is east. I am from the far far west, so Texas to me looks very east. But then, so does Idaho.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 09:27 AM

Personally I wouldn't count ANT of them as "eastern" states. Ohio is mid-west.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 09:26 AM

And "MOST" of the voters voted for Bush in 2004, by your standard.

And since when is Texas "East"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 08:59 AM

Bruce, your point? I said they were in the eastern half, mostly southern, so the term mostly qualifies "southern" not "eastern". They are all in the eastern half, and most of them are down south.


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