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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 25 Apr 07 - 08:50 AM
MMario 25 Apr 07 - 08:47 AM
Amos 25 Apr 07 - 12:03 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Apr 07 - 11:03 PM
Rapparee 24 Apr 07 - 10:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Apr 07 - 10:36 PM
Acme 24 Apr 07 - 10:16 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Apr 07 - 07:42 PM
Acme 24 Apr 07 - 05:09 PM
MMario 24 Apr 07 - 04:39 PM
Amos 24 Apr 07 - 04:21 PM
Amos 24 Apr 07 - 03:28 PM
Rapparee 24 Apr 07 - 12:51 PM
MMario 24 Apr 07 - 11:51 AM
Amos 24 Apr 07 - 11:43 AM
Amos 24 Apr 07 - 09:39 AM
Rapparee 24 Apr 07 - 09:32 AM
MMario 24 Apr 07 - 09:18 AM
Rapparee 24 Apr 07 - 09:10 AM
Amos 23 Apr 07 - 11:42 PM
Acme 23 Apr 07 - 10:36 PM
Amos 23 Apr 07 - 10:05 PM
Rapparee 23 Apr 07 - 10:01 PM
Amos 23 Apr 07 - 09:49 PM
Rapparee 23 Apr 07 - 09:38 PM
Amos 23 Apr 07 - 06:49 PM
Amos 23 Apr 07 - 06:14 PM
Amos 23 Apr 07 - 05:30 PM
Acme 23 Apr 07 - 01:54 PM
Amos 23 Apr 07 - 11:45 AM
Rapparee 23 Apr 07 - 11:40 AM
Amos 23 Apr 07 - 10:41 AM
Little Hawk 23 Apr 07 - 10:34 AM
Acme 23 Apr 07 - 10:24 AM
Amos 23 Apr 07 - 09:06 AM
Rapparee 23 Apr 07 - 08:51 AM
Acme 22 Apr 07 - 10:58 PM
Amos 22 Apr 07 - 10:06 PM
Amos 22 Apr 07 - 09:58 PM
Rapparee 22 Apr 07 - 09:50 PM
Amos 22 Apr 07 - 09:18 PM
Acme 22 Apr 07 - 08:20 PM
Rapparee 22 Apr 07 - 06:37 PM
Amos 22 Apr 07 - 03:10 PM
Nigel Parsons 22 Apr 07 - 01:46 PM
Amos 22 Apr 07 - 11:40 AM
rumanci 22 Apr 07 - 10:23 AM
Amos 22 Apr 07 - 10:07 AM
Rapparee 22 Apr 07 - 10:03 AM
Amos 21 Apr 07 - 11:10 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 07 - 08:50 AM

Amos -- an honorary DD? The Most Reverend Amos? His Holiness, Pope Amos?

Well, there is a certain ring to it....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Apr 07 - 08:47 AM

hey Amos - just thought you'd like to know that the AMC poem was appreciated at Yale Divinity School.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Apr 07 - 12:03 AM

It's a shortening, over time, of the expression "riding on horseback", which is no more unusual than the expr4ession "riding on a jet plane" or "riding on a buckboard".

Cf. Traveling by shank's mare.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 11:03 PM

No, John is not a Hairy Potter. John is a Cleancut Potter. Only fools like myself who enjoy combing clumps of dried clay out of our beards and/or ponytails are Hairy Potters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 10:41 PM

Without a beard he can't be a Hairy Potter, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 10:36 PM

Ah! So Maggie got to meet John, huh? Good potter, ain't he?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 10:16 PM

Hey, Bruce, I met an acquaintance of yours this weekend. I went to the Main Street Arts Festival in downtown Fort Worth early Sunday and had a nice visit with John Hardly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 07:42 PM

Hi, Mom!

I have a question for you:

Why do they call the act of riding a horse "horseback riding"? Why don't they just call it "horse riding"? What other part of a horse besides the back could one possibly sit on while riding?

They don't call bicycle riding "bicycleseat riding", do they?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 05:09 PM

Could he swim? That's the important question today. The creek rose over the bridge and several feet up my driveway this afternoon. (We had a little rain episode.) I'm not sure how much, but both of the dog dishes are full and they aren't under anything that would amplify the volume of water they collected. The deeper of the two dishes is at least five inches. (Not scientific, dog-dish-rain-gauges, but good for estimates).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 04:39 PM

we are not worthy!

AMC was a pretty smart guy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 04:21 PM

Man has so often come to grief
On the shoals of deep belief
Seeking mystic higher powers
Praying, singing hymns for hours,
Spending months away from layity
To discern some brand new deity.

All this sweat and pain historic
Is at bottom, myth folkloric
All the hubbub, and the din
Driven by deep fear of sin.
Not just buried sins within you,
But those that some might try agin you.

Now comes science, unembarassed
To the fields that Faith has harassed,
Dispels panic, myth and rumor,
Gods of grief and guilt and humor.
With a model we can try on --
Sin is born from antipions!

Now the path becomes quite simple!
Toss the habit, and the wimple!
Toss the bishop, overweening
And the priest, so lost for meaning!
Extract pions from all quarters,
And add them to the drinking water!!

Albertus Maximus Circumference
Music of the TransFat
Polyester and Cholesterol, New Haven, 1979


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 03:28 PM

And in England, the word is pronounced "pee-on", rather than "pie-on", which makes my little limerick cheer more risqué, indeed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 12:51 PM

And don't forget my Aunty Flo!

Flo was fond of Ebenezer
"Eb" for short she called her beau.
Talk of the tide of Love,
Great Caesar!
You should have seen them, Eb and Flo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 11:51 AM

In the deep south, ante-bellum; in the Palestine, antedeluvian.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 11:43 AM

It's interesting that the anti-pion effect of generating sin is influenced by the Coriolis effect. Over here, it's anti-pions. Over in the Mediterranean area, it's anti-pasto.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 09:39 AM

An effect which is often accompanied by extreme clouds of antipathy.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 09:32 AM

Antipions. They cause folks like Jimmy Swaggart and Pat Robertson to eventually disappear. The mathematical underpinnings are complex, conclusive, and can give those suffering from antipions what is technically known as "antipion wedgies" as a sort of warning of what is going to happen.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 09:18 AM

If pions are the elemental particle of piety - does sin have it's own elemental particle or is it an abscence of pions?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 09:10 AM

I think that this research is just more pion the sky.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 11:42 PM

You are probably quite right, Still. If he were exposed to that many pions, he'd be more pious than any of us, and that ain't happening.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 10:36 PM

Those aren't pions, Amos, I think his cat has dandruff. Didn't you notice the feline hair on the back of his chair? My calico has dandruff also. I wouldn't presume to confuse it with scientific particles.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 10:05 PM

Aha, I see you are a graduate of dear old Pion U>! Our cheer:

Pion U! It's a dream!!
Get your pie and free ice cream!
It's no joke! It's really true!!
Ice cream for us and Pion U>!!


A^n


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 10:01 PM

They come for me and they'll get the old cream-pion in the face trick!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 09:49 PM

AHA!!! The pion may be chargeless, sir, but not your hapless self. We'll have YOU brought up on charges, both positive and negative, for this wanton serial pionicide. That spray is a weapon of massive pion-destruction. You're for it now, old kipper!


A^n


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 09:38 PM

I was at fencing when you posted that. It is, without doubt, the single most important thing I have ever read. It has changed my life. I can now crack eggs and not get bits of shell in the egg. I can leap tall buildings with at least a single bound. I can drink beer and not spill any. Most importantly, I know approximately how long I have to put up with these damned pions! Here I am, sitting quietly, whiling away the hours slamming protons together just for the hell of it, and WHAMMO! suddenly I'm surrounded by a flock of pions! No quark-antiquark pairs, just these damned pions, buzzing around and stinging. And no Gluon, of course!, there to help -- Gluon's off doing something slightly impolite on a rug in the 7th dimension or somewhere. Well, I think that it's the most important thing I've read, mostly because I'm nearly out of pionicide spray.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 06:49 PM

Well, I thought it was kewl, anyway.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 06:14 PM

M O O O M!!



They've figure out the duration of the PION!!

"THE LIFETIME OF THE CHARGELESS PION, the lightest particle made of
quark-antiquark pairs, has been determined to higher levels of
precision in a new experiment at Jefferson Laboratory in Virginia.
According to experimentalist Liping Gan (Univ of North
Carolina-Wilmington), speaking at the APS meeting, the neutral pion
lifetime is one of the few quantities that can be directly
calculated (to about 1% precision) in quantum chromodynamics (QCD),
the theory of the strong force, which holds together quarks and
quark-containing objects. In Jefferson Lab*s Primakoff Experiment,
the researchers aim a gamma-ray beam at nuclei, which perpetually
has a cloud of photons around it.

Through a phenomenon known as the
Primakoff effect, two photons (one from the target nucleus and
another from the photon beam) interact and make a chargeless pion,
which decays into two daughter photons. Measuring the daughter
photons reconstructs the details of the decay and provides lifetime
information about the pions. The new experiment is more precise than
past Primakoff effect experiments because the incident photons
(produced from the deceleration of Jlab*s electron beam) are
"tagged," meaning that the researchers can keep track of the numbers
of incoming photons hitting the nuclear targets, as well as their
energies. When the photons emerge from the decay, an advanced
calorimeter (called HyCal) is able to measure the daughter photons'
trajectories and energies to high precision.

Ashot Gasparian of
North Carolina A&T State University said the calculated lifetime of
the pion is 82 attoseconds with about a 2.9% error
[(8.20+/-0.24)x10^-17 sec]. The new, preliminary result is two
times more precise than the present value published in particle data
tables [8.4+/-(0.6)x10^-17s], and the precision can potentially
double as researchers analyze all of their data and finalize their
result."

Is that KEWL, or WHAT???!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 05:30 PM

Wow!! I don't think she's a size ten anymore, guys. Should we get her tested or something?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 01:54 PM

[slaps forehead]

You know what--they saw a reflection of MOM with their equipment! Geez, you see a photo of yourself and don't recognize it.

Duh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 11:45 AM

Quite right. Given the magnitude, it is possible that we have inadvertantly stumbled on the 'elephant's graveyard' of hot air -- the final resting place of all the overheated, over-inflated gaseous emission to rise up from the halls of government since Alexander Hamilton started the practice.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 11:40 AM

I was thinking of the enormous gaseous emissions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 10:41 AM

For which, let us all be grateful.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 10:34 AM

He's pretty cool. But he's no William Shatner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 10:24 AM

He confused "largest" with "most dense," hence the reference to Congress.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 09:06 AM

Much as I revere ole Spaw, I am pretty sure he is not the largest object in the universe. He probably would disagree with me, though.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 08:51 AM

Yup, sounds like IF. Well, I suspect that for a variety of reasons in a few years they're going to be singing a different tune completely.

Amos, are you certain that the object detected wasn't just Spaw? Or perhaps the hallowed halls of our Congress?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Apr 07 - 10:58 PM

My aunt and cousins lived in El Cajon in the same house for many years. The municipal boundary kept changing, so actually, part of that time they lived in La Mesa. (Five changes total, I think she told us).

I had the strangest breakfast on a road trip in Idaho Falls. We sat down at a breakfast place and I ordered what I usually do, French toast. This humongous plate with two three-inch thick chunks of some big fried thing arrived. "Our cook likes to do it a little different," the waitress beamed. I tried a bite, then ate something else. I think they should warn people when the recipe varies that much, know what I mean?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 07 - 10:06 PM

Hey Mom!! They found the biggest object in the Universe!!

"Black holes exhale enormous gas cloud
Plasma cloud located about 300 million light years away
        

Updated: 11:25 a.m. PT April 20, 2007 MSN

A giant cloud of superheated gas 6 million light years wide might be formed by the collective sigh of several supermassive black holes, scientists say.

The plasma cloud, detailed in April 10 issue of Astrophysical Journal, might be the source of mysterious cosmic rays that permeate our universe.

"One of the most exciting aspects of the discovery is the new questions it poses," said study leader Philipp Kronberg of Los Alamos National Laboratories in New Mexico. "For example, what kind of mechanism could create a cloud of such enormous dimensions that does not coincide with any single galaxy or galaxy cluster? Is that same mechanism connected to the mysterious source of ultra high energy cosmic rays that come from beyond our galaxy?""




Izzat KEWL, or WHAT???!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 07 - 09:58 PM

Today we wandered over to the desert suburb called El Cajon, where a recently-discovered firend, a lady who plays wicked blues harp, was playing at a restaurant with her tight, well-grooved blues band. They had a sax, a drummer, a bass, two electric guitars, a horn player and of course Diane knocking them dead on the blues harp. It was fine.

Although I hadn't mer her before, she needed someone to cover for vocals so I volunteered to do one number. So I ended up knocking out "Mojo Working" with a completely smooth electric band behind me, and the audience just roared, they had so much fun. BBW was in the audience and said it was perfect. So I am really stoked about that. We rocked!.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 07 - 09:50 PM

Yesterday I did something that was, in its own way, very frightening and even dangerous.

I went to Idaho Falls.

This might not seem like much, a trip of only fifty miles each way, but I went to Idaho Falls. The town where housing developments are walled and the walls extend for (literally) a couple of miles on each side of the street. The town with a "We're the best, so screw you" attitude (or so it seems).

But that's where the quilt show was, and so I went. Later we went to Barnes & Noble and bought some books on our August trip to Alberta and the one we hope to take next year to Ireland.

I did not go to Idaho Falls armed. Just to reassure Mom. I mean, I did have my pocketknife, but that was it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 07 - 09:18 PM

ANd we haven't heard from him since that fateful meeting!! Hmmmm? At least Rapaire is back. That's something to be thankf gratef cognizant of...


S


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Apr 07 - 08:20 PM

I've warned you guys about watching out for poachers when I'm away. (That Nigel, he's egging us on, he is).

I went down to the arts fair and met John Hardly today. I think he has visited MOAB on occasion, though I don't know if he has ever posted. I gave us all a glowing review, so who knows! He says he has met Mom's other favorite son, BWL.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 07 - 06:37 PM

Mom always suspected that. She told me so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 07 - 03:10 PM

Impressive contribution, Nigel, I don't think...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 22 Apr 07 - 01:46 PM

One Seven Two Hundred!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 07 - 11:40 AM

And, as the chimp said to Darwin, "Thereby hangs a tale...".


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 22 Apr 07 - 10:23 AM

Ah
but witch of the grimm bros round here might regretel a punfest more ?
Hi Mom
the guys still squabbling eh ?
Glade I dropped by
Fairy 'nough ?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 07 - 10:07 AM

You'l ll end up re-greteling ever starting this crumby game, he said Grimmly.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 07 - 10:03 AM

Hey, we're really cookin' now! We'll gretel the good puns!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 07 - 11:10 PM

Beware, for you build but a bridge of thighs...


A


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