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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 13 Feb 07 - 01:53 PM
Amos 13 Feb 07 - 01:51 PM
Little Hawk 13 Feb 07 - 12:40 PM
Little Hawk 13 Feb 07 - 12:33 PM
Amos 13 Feb 07 - 12:22 PM
Little Hawk 13 Feb 07 - 12:10 PM
Bunnahabhain 13 Feb 07 - 11:47 AM
JennyO 13 Feb 07 - 10:20 AM
Amos 13 Feb 07 - 10:07 AM
Rapparee 13 Feb 07 - 09:44 AM
Amos 13 Feb 07 - 09:34 AM
Rapparee 13 Feb 07 - 09:13 AM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 13 Feb 07 - 01:52 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Feb 07 - 01:35 AM
GUEST,Bldind DRunk in Blind River 13 Feb 07 - 01:21 AM
GUEST,Stilly River Sage 13 Feb 07 - 01:20 AM
Amos 13 Feb 07 - 12:01 AM
Rapparee 12 Feb 07 - 09:45 PM
Rapparee 12 Feb 07 - 09:30 PM
JennyO 12 Feb 07 - 09:29 PM
GUEST,Blind Rive r in Blind RDUNK 12 Feb 07 - 09:13 PM
JennyO 12 Feb 07 - 08:51 PM
Rapparee 12 Feb 07 - 08:50 PM
Amos 12 Feb 07 - 07:20 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 12 Feb 07 - 05:38 PM
Amos 12 Feb 07 - 05:15 PM
Rapparee 12 Feb 07 - 04:42 PM
MMario 12 Feb 07 - 04:12 PM
GUEST,Brother Crispin Fiacre, OCSO 12 Feb 07 - 04:10 PM
Amos 12 Feb 07 - 03:24 PM
MMario 12 Feb 07 - 02:53 PM
Amos 12 Feb 07 - 02:52 PM
MMario 12 Feb 07 - 02:41 PM
Amos 12 Feb 07 - 02:35 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Feb 07 - 01:43 PM
MMario 12 Feb 07 - 01:29 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Feb 07 - 01:26 PM
JennyO 12 Feb 07 - 12:55 PM
JennyO 12 Feb 07 - 12:55 PM
JennyO 12 Feb 07 - 12:55 PM
JennyO 12 Feb 07 - 12:55 PM
JennyO 12 Feb 07 - 12:54 PM
JennyO 12 Feb 07 - 12:54 PM
Rapparee 12 Feb 07 - 11:59 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Feb 07 - 11:35 AM
Amos 12 Feb 07 - 10:36 AM
Little Hawk 12 Feb 07 - 10:28 AM
Amos 12 Feb 07 - 10:17 AM
Bunnahabhain 12 Feb 07 - 10:05 AM
Amos 12 Feb 07 - 09:54 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 01:53 PM

I, on the other hand, am a projection.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 01:51 PM

So, the truth comes out... a truth which in hindsight should have been obvious. Little Hawk is a projection of Spaw, another broke-dick mammalucca effort to keep Big Mick and Rick Fielding and BSeed and Swanno laughing a lot.

Well, it certainly has been a rip-roaring success --- well, a rip-roaring something. The sweet smell of success and the tear-inspiring fumes of the Spaw-Hawk Axis of Methane would never be confused with each other.

I suspect Shambles will have something to say about all this. I am not sure what, but that has never been an impediment before.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 12:40 PM

You could maybe provide a link to that thread?

Actually, Amos, I remember how it all got started (my projections on Mudcat). I got the idea from Spaw. He was doing all this weird shit back when I first came here with Paw and Cletus and the Reg Boys, the NYCFTTS, the Little Pissant, and Cleigh O'Possum....all fictional characters or setups of one kind or another.

I thought it looked like a lot of fun, so I figured I'd try it myself with some original characters of my own. In the case of Shatner, I was making use of a character that already existed in real life and had a rich background with humorous possibilities, which made my job easier. Besides, Shatner and the whole Star Trek thing was just irresistible. That's the God's truth of it, I swear.

So it's all Spaw's fault. All of it. Without him it would not have happened. I am an innocent man. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 12:33 PM

What??? Are you serious? (about Martin) Or is that just an analogy of some sort?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 12:22 PM

Well, the real Martin Gibson died an unfortunate death which was documented in the Mudcat Carnivale fiction thread. The death was the only factual thing about it.

Thank you for not splitting your attention into even more projections. I am sure it is for the good that you do not spread your mental margarine too thin.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 12:10 PM

LOL! What a super lot of possible reasons for my plight, Amos. The one about the pets was inspired. You know, I have had to resist the severe temptation to be several other projections as well.

Just think of the possibilities...

It has its risks. Bobert went through a phase where he thought that I was Martin Gibson! That was pretty surreal. It was then that I realized the drawbacks to living a fantasy existence on an internet forum. I did post back then the odd time as "Kent Ovation" and "Taylor Takemine/Takamine", just to piss off Martin....whoever he really was (and that remains a mystery).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 11:47 AM

I think I have a use for Shane. It'll use all his best qualities, and get him a medal, worldwide thanks, and a case of whatever he wants to drink....


We set him on the wonderful people who write viruses etc, he'll be far more of a deterrent than the legal system. Because it's my idea, he starts on the pains in the arse who got to me a few days ago!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 10:20 AM

a solution to the incurable influence of a domineering mother

You may be on to something here, Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 10:07 AM

Oh, right, Rapaire. Shane "Blind Drunk in Blind River" is gonna sit around in an orange "Texas Longhorns" shirt. And you want me to buy this conflated piece of reactionary nonsense, this assertion based only on phantasms? You must be some kinda Republican.

Whoever that guy is, if it was his girlfriend who stck the pacifier in his hand while he was napping and phtographed it, I bet she is now an ex-girlfriend.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 09:44 AM

No, Amos. "Shane" is real. I even found a picture of him (of course, he was cleaned up because he WAS just out of jail). But you can tell who it is by what he's holding.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 09:34 AM

The trouble is, good Rapaire, that you are speaking to a projection -- but then, what else is new?

In this case, though, you are talking to one of a series of projected personalities being generated by our own Little Hawk -- an identitity which is, of course, itself a projection. One, I should add, that seems to have subdivided itself into multiple sub-projections, one of which poses as a chimpanzee, one as Shane, one as an averweight toupee-adorned wannabe film star, and several other more minor ones.

It is clear, in retrospect, that whoever owns the Little Hawk projection is a being of great creative power, but a power which has sadly become dissipated, dissolute, and degraded into managing this menagerie of substitute beingnesses. This is, possibly, a response to the impact of drugs and alcohol used too often. Or a solution to the incurable influence of a domineering mother. Or, perhaps, a long history of bad luck with house pets.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 09:13 AM

Dear "Shane":

Of course you are you. Who else would you be? Me? Amos? Little Hawk? Bee-Dubya-Ell? Jenny-O? Mom herself? W*****m S*****r? Alexander King McKenzie? Don Whatsizname, the ex-hockey player? Tony Blair?

I realize, "Shane," that you have identity problems, but a good psychiatrist can help you with that and other problems. You might even get a handle on who you really are and begin to understand yourself.

Let me reiterate, "Shane," that you are whoever you are. And I am sorry for you.

There.

Your friend,
Rapaire


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 01:52 AM

Rapaire started this, man! He threw the first flippin' stone and you don't do that to people that live in glass houses, eh? Cos if you do that then...the glass can, like, get broken. And that will get you seven years bad luck, eh? No time off for good behaveyor neither. Anyways, Rapaire threw the first flippin' punch here. I din't. It is his flippin' fault that I am here. I ain't leavin' till he flippin' apologzies and admits that I am ME and Cripsin ain't!

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 01:35 AM

As distasteful as it is to have Shane leeching onto Mom, things could be worse. It could be Shatner another Canadian fellow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bldind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 01:21 AM

I was talkin' to the flippin' guy who is imposturizing me! He calls himself Crispin Fiacre and he is totally bathouse flippin' nuts! Keep the sick flipper AWAY from me!

As for you, Rapaire, you are pushin' yer luck, man. DON'T make me come down there!

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 01:20 AM

What the hell is she doing with her hand?

I can't figure out how she can 1) bend it this direction or 2) what game the camera is playing or if 3) she has some strange double-jointed condition I've never heard about? (Not that I care, but I was flipping through a slide show of the Grammy folks and this turned up).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 12:01 AM

Shane,

So...who WERE you yapping at/talking to?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 09:45 PM

Besides, "Shane," the only lawyers you know are the prosecutors.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 09:30 PM

"Shane":

You have to be able to prove your identity in court, and the real Shane McBride is many, many miles away. And so I'm not at all worried, you imposter!

Besides, I'm not in Canada. You can't get money if I ain't there.

Your friend,
Rapaire


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 09:29 PM

Methinks Shane might be suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder.

Gawd knows how many other personalities could be lurking there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind Rive r in Blind RDUNK
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 09:13 PM

RApaire is teh worst FLIPPIN' LIAR that ever lived! Every fliippin' ghging he sahys is a baldfaced lie! He should be shot, drove over, and throwed to the flippin' dogs!

I am the real Shane! FLIP ME!!!!!!!! Why won't anyone listen?

I have been flippin' robbed of my name and muy repitition! I am gonna take legal flippin' ackshun and make uyou pay, Rapaire!

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 08:51 PM

Maybe Gluon is humping his leg. A good duck-dog will do that.

I feel honoured to have my first pinwheel number. It's rather hot here, so at the moment I am using it as a small personal fan.

I may start a small collection. Only 85 posts to go till 16191!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 08:50 PM

That's good, Amos. As long as you're not running something strange like MAC OS X at home.

By the way, Shane McBride joined the Trappists -- the ones of "strict observance" and is currently in their monastery in Madagascar. His name in the Trappists is Brother Crispin Fiacre, OCSO. Someone is posting as Shane used to before he "got religion" and that person is an imposter and an identity thief.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 07:20 PM

Shane:

Sober up, lad!! Have a glass of nice warm tap-water, there ya go. Who in hell are you talking to, anyway?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 05:38 PM

Please just GO flippin' AWAY! I'm beggin' you.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 05:15 PM

Oh, please, Mister Book Man; I use an advanced UNIX-based multi-processor machine and a liberated browser at home. This is my work machine, which I don't get to specify.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 04:42 PM

I HATE it when Internet Explorer or my keyboard buffer or whoever it is just arbitrarily drops letters out of my words, making "numbs" of "numbers" and a thousand other similar offenses.

Have you considered a) using a GOOD Internet browser instead of IE and b) using some decent machine, like a Sun or RS?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 04:12 PM

tim? Tim? Is that you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Brother Crispin Fiacre, OCSO
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 04:10 PM

God bless you all, everyone!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 03:24 PM

I love that Gluon is or is not there
Of blame for all my errors for to share;
I take delight, reflecting now that he
Thanks to primordial dark Uncertainty
Can take the blame of all I do wrong here,
Absorb it all, and lightly disappear.
Thus he confounds my critics all, and they
Who would about me harsh upbrading make
For in his glimmering, half-decided Being,
He shows that short exisiting is far seeing!
He serves the longer trail, the greater good,
And from him, lessons take, the others should.
To know that to be half-time in the Now
Gives double breadth and width of sight, somehow!
So do not haste to put the other shoe on!
Half shod, be half-way here, like Gluon!
Think twice for every half-thought offered here!
And like a duck-dog, become twice the seer!

Rumbilicus Sunderus Anew III,
Broken Phrases from the Wholest Heart
Meagre and Degradation, ed.
Jonestown, Guiana, 1982


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 02:53 PM

I think it's Gluon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 02:52 PM

I HATE it when Internet Explorer or my keyboard buffer or whoever it is just arbitrarily drops letters out of my words, making "numbs" of "numbers" and a thousand other similar offenses.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 02:41 PM

just realized - 16891 is a pinwheel as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 02:35 PM

Pinwheeling numbers bring delight,
When the days are cold as night
Take such pleasures as ye choose,
If you're easily amused.

But for tougher, braver minds,
Here's a challenge -- go, and find
In the world of numbs' rhythm
The secret, lurking algorithm,

The law that every number feels,
That will make, of some, pinwheels?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 01:43 PM

In composing my previous post, I had originally included a disclaimer clause along the lines of "I may be wrong in my calculations, what with my being an idiot and all that." and, as Mmario's post aptly demonstrates, I should've left it in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 01:29 PM

16191 and 18181 and 19161 already have the pin stuck in the pinwheel!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 01:26 PM

Congratulation, Jenny! In honor of your accomplishment we hereby dub "16091" and its ilk "Pinwheel Numbers"! Imagine sticking a pin through the "0" in "16091" and giving it a good spin. No matter what orientation it winds up in it's always going to say "16091"!

I calculate MOAB's next two Pinwheel Number to be "18081" and "19061",followed by a dearth of such until "60009" comes around. But take heart because the sixty-thousands will be loaded with them! And at current posting rates we only have ten years until post #60,000 gets here!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 12:55 PM

16091

As above, so below!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 12:55 PM

The three eagles each spent the whole year wondering who the young female would choose. They each worried so much that their heads turned gray! And one of them worried so much that all his head feathers started to fall out. Now I can't be sure which one she eventually married, but I think I know. And I think that all the kids inherited their Daddy's hairline.

And that's why we have bald eagles today!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 12:55 PM

Mother Nature cried: "Be still! Everyone has had their say but the one whose opinion counts the most. I have not asked this pretty young thing how she feels." she turned to the bird in her lap. Which of these three eagles would you have as mate? You're the one who should do the choosing, not me, and not anyone else. Which one do you choose?"

Then the pretty eagle spoke--shyly, very shyly. "Please, Mother, I am so young, I've barely begun to explore life. I want no mate at all. At least not yet. Let me wait before I choose. Next year, if any of these eagles still thinks that he loves me, then--maybe! Maybe, I'll say yes!"

"Seems there's no reason for all your fighting!" Mother Nature cried. "She will not choose until next year, if then! She will wait until she's good & ready." At that, those three big eagles all drooped their wings, sank their heads down on their breasts, and flew away.

Mother Nature turned at last to all the other birds and said, "Well it is Valentine Day a day when you should all be "love birds". It is time for each of you to choose your own mates!" And each flew off to that sweet bird he loved best.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 12:55 PM

"Enough! That will be enough of that!" cried Mother Nature. She waved her arm, and the summoned birds flew down to her side, hanging their heads in shame. "Fighting doesn't solve anything. There is always another answer."

The other birds were anxious to decide the matter so that they could get on with the choosing. "Let us help!" they chirped.

So the goose took a gander at the fighting birds and said, "Let all these eagles give this girl up. Let each one choose another mate!"

But the first eagle raged "Only a goose like you would say such a thing. What bird who calls himself a gentleman would give up his true love and choose another mate?"

"Coo!" spoke the dove. "No lover should ever change his heart. Not even if she says she will not have him for her mate. He should love her still and serve her all his life!"

"Quackery!" yelled the duck. "What sense is there in that? To wait a lifetime for a girl! Get on with your life, all of you, and choose another bird."

"Cuckoo, I say, let these eagles live alone!" the cuckoo snapped. "Just let them take no mates at all."

"Live all their lives alone!" the blue jay shrieked. "Who would have thought of that save you, cuckoo?"

So now all the birds were quarrelling. And still nothing had been solved.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 12:54 PM

But then another mighty eagle cried out fiercely: "You shall not have that lovely creature! You do not really love her at all; you merely admire her looks. I truly love her! She must be mine! Mine! Mine!"

"Oh no! Not on your life!" a third great eagle screamed. "You want to possess her. I'll cherish her! I love her best of all!"

And with that those three great eagles all began to shriek. Each cried, "I'll have her! She's Mine."

The eagles screeched & argued, till the wise owl interrupted. "You'll never settle this affair by yelling!"

"That's true! We'll fight!" the eagles screamed. Before the others could stop them, they took flight, circling one another. Each trying to knock the other out of the air. One great bird struck the other with his huge bent beak.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 12:54 PM

Here is a somewhat different Valentine's Day story I found.

THE BIRDS' VALENTINE'S DAY

by Julie Silverman-Ditton

A Valentines' Day story adapted from a folktale of unknown origin.

Legend has it, that every year on Valentine's Day, Mother Nature calls all the birds together to choose their mates. This was a year like many others. Many of the older birds have already chosen their mates in the years before, but all the young birds gathered round. They were all anxious to choose a mate and fly off with their new lovebirds to build a nest.

"Mother Nature, let the choosing start!" they chirped.

But Mother Nature was holding a shy young eagle in her lap. She caressed the soft feathers. Then looking up, Mother Nature saw a fine, big eagle standing before her. His long wings spread wide, he looked like a proud and grand king. She said to the other birds. "This eagle is the greatest of birds, truly a king. Until he chooses for himself a mate, no other bird shall choose!"

The huge bird flapped his wings. He rose into the air, circled around the field and landed in front of her again. "I choose that beautiful chic in your lap."

At that the tender, young eagle hung her head. She did not reply yes or no to his request. So timid and shy, she did not dare say no to the king of birds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 11:59 AM

Actually, Freddie got his marriage to Adela annulled by the pope on the basis on consanguinity: his g'g'g-something was a third cousin twice removed on her g'g'g'g'g'g'g-somethingelse's side.

It was really the old story: she wasn't producing any heirs, so he dropped her. She'd provided him with more lands but no kids, so out she goes! Beatrice brought him Burgundy (the Kingdom) and a bunch of other places AND gave him six kids or so.

And this story is just in time for Valentine's Day!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 11:35 AM

Interesting... Frederick Barbarossa lived from 1122 until 1190, but that painting's dated 1751. I've heard of artists taking their time to complete commissions, but 600 years is a bit excessive by anyone's standards. I hope Freddie didn't pay in advance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 10:36 AM

A most important date for M. Barbarossa/

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 10:28 AM

Finally! A perfectly ripened papaya. Ahh...what bliss!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 10:17 AM

Well, Bunn, talk to Jenny about word pictures....


;>)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 10:05 AM

Please, not now, I was trying to eat.

In fact, just no generally.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 09:54 AM

Sweaty rolls of flab over a dessicate bun, with watery sauce. Just the thing.

A


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