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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 17 May 03 - 04:43 PM
Amos 17 May 03 - 03:08 PM
khandu 17 May 03 - 02:03 PM
Little Hawk 17 May 03 - 01:14 PM
Little Hawk 17 May 03 - 12:36 PM
Little Hawk 17 May 03 - 12:02 PM
Amos 16 May 03 - 11:40 PM
Tweed 16 May 03 - 11:24 PM
GUEST,The Galactic Overlord 16 May 03 - 10:00 PM
Bill D 16 May 03 - 09:51 PM
khandu 16 May 03 - 09:42 PM
Bill D 16 May 03 - 09:33 PM
khandu 16 May 03 - 09:24 PM
GUEST,The Galactic Overlord 16 May 03 - 09:13 PM
khandu 16 May 03 - 08:56 PM
Tweed 16 May 03 - 08:43 PM
GUEST,The Galactic Overlord 16 May 03 - 05:03 PM
Amos 16 May 03 - 01:27 PM
Tweed 16 May 03 - 01:05 PM
Little Hawk 16 May 03 - 10:20 AM
MMario 16 May 03 - 09:35 AM
Amos 16 May 03 - 09:32 AM
GUEST,The Galactic Overlord 16 May 03 - 09:13 AM
Mark Cohen 16 May 03 - 12:36 AM
Amos 15 May 03 - 11:30 PM
Tweed 15 May 03 - 11:28 PM
khandu 15 May 03 - 11:18 PM
khandu 15 May 03 - 10:33 PM
khandu 15 May 03 - 10:29 PM
khandu 15 May 03 - 10:27 PM
Amos 15 May 03 - 10:17 PM
khandu 15 May 03 - 09:27 PM
Amos 15 May 03 - 07:20 PM
Rapparee 15 May 03 - 06:05 PM
MMario 15 May 03 - 04:06 PM
CarolC 15 May 03 - 03:39 PM
Amos 15 May 03 - 01:57 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 May 03 - 02:06 AM
Amos 15 May 03 - 12:16 AM
Tweed 14 May 03 - 10:45 PM
Rapparee 14 May 03 - 10:25 PM
Rustic Rebel 14 May 03 - 10:01 PM
khandu 14 May 03 - 10:00 PM
khandu 14 May 03 - 09:48 PM
Rustic Rebel 14 May 03 - 09:41 PM
Tweed 14 May 03 - 09:16 PM
Amos 14 May 03 - 08:46 PM
GUEST,Sheeney Knause agin 14 May 03 - 08:40 PM
GUEST,Sheeney Knause 14 May 03 - 08:33 PM
khandu 14 May 03 - 07:49 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 03 - 04:43 PM

Actually, King Khandu, most of us feel that we simply could not live without you...or this thread. We long for opportunities to grovel at your feet and regale you with incomparably inane emissions of BS till the cows come home. You rock!!! We're not worthy!!!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 03 - 03:08 PM

YM_

As a subject who is unwaivering in fondness and esteem for yourself, if not loyalty, I feel it is my bounden duty to inform you that your antagonism to your subjects is ITSELF the cause of the unrest in your kingdon, and NOT the result thereof.

You have the very subjects you have projected. Thus are you well served by your own most loyal phantasms.

'Twas ever thus...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 17 May 03 - 02:03 PM

I have but one Royal Consort who has remained faithful; POB&PL Rustic Rebel, though she may runnoft with Sheeney Knause at any moment.

So Bill D, you made an ironic comment, and I have been looking for a good Ironic Iron Man...you could be him!

Okay, since I was overwhelmed with responses to my Quiz, and no one wins the coveted two song khandu tape, one song which causes Tweed and Amos to tremble in their tutus, I shall now reveal the answers to the missed questions!

Jethro Tull's "We Used To Know" was the inspiration for the chord progression of "Hotel California".

Hootie and the Blowfish mentioned the title "Tangled Up in Blue" in their song, but quoted verses of "Idiot Wind".

Ben Harper said had he not heard MJH, he would never have learned to play his instruments.

The Blues Magoos sang "We Ain't Got Nothin Yet".

I am still awaiting the "I'll deal with you later" threat from Tweed to happen. Perhaps he is to bogged down trying to unstop his septic tank of a website from all the doo-doo he has filled it with!

Tweed, you scoff at the Galactic Overloon's departure, but did you notice that it was I, King khandu, who dealt with him...it certainly wasn't you! Hey, weren't you a character on "The Lizard of Oz"? Didn't you play the part of the Cowardly Scared Shatless Lion?

Amos...whut the hey was that link? The Spaw Birthday Thread? Hell, I go there everyday so why direct me to where I was already going???

LH, I am pleased to hear of Ari's Aid coming...this has been hard to carry by myself!

Hey Wanna scoff at someone? Go back and look at Allan C.'s post at the beginning of this thread! A prophet, he ain't!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 03 - 01:14 PM

Tip for today: Don't cry over spilled ilk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 03 - 12:36 PM

Forgot to close the "bold" code. Oh, well. It kind of looks good, actually.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 03 - 12:02 PM

Bulletin: There are disturbing signs that daily attendance is declining on the MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS, because people have nearly exhausted their available supplies of BS and are scraping the bottom of the barrel. This cannot be allowed to continue! In response to this emergency situation, administration spokesperson (don'tcha just hate that word?) Ari Fleischer delivered a press conference early this morning, announcing that the Bush administration is going to rush massive new shipments of Total and Absolute BS to Mudcat (and the World) "within days", and rescue this thread from the malaise into which it now threatens to sink. There were signs of major BS mobilization already beginning across the Nation, with Republican supporters gearing up for concerted action from the boardroom to the street.

Those who feared the BS would end prematurely can rest easy. The Big Boys have taken the job in hand, and they will not let up until "the job is done", according to Fleischer.

When asked by members of the press exactly what form the BS would take, Fleischer said, "We don't want to give the enemy any free information. My suggestion to you is: wait and see."

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 03 - 11:40 PM

Hey, King Man: Check out This Link! for a Royal Schmile!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 16 May 03 - 11:24 PM

Victory iz ours, run you tentacled running sores!!

king khornkhob, you asswipe of a baboon with scours, I shall deal with you after I finish...ahem....customizing my very excellent and simple to use .php style tweedboard. It iz only a minor setback and no doubt in some way connected to the Galactic Overlords' parting shots az they ran like little babies from the borders of beloved MOAB.

Yerz,
Tweed
Webmaster Extraordinaire and PHP Specialist


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Galactic Overlord
Date: 16 May 03 - 10:00 PM

My Dear Children,

As is said in the Southern regions of Our realm, and as We now say to you, "Y'all go piss up a rope."

We now leave you to wallow in your own mental stagnation and physical degeneration, as We have found you too insignificant to bother with.

All Our love,
TGO


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:51 PM

I went there earlier...it didn't work. Why would I tell anyone ELSE to go there if it didn't work?

Geez...fer a King, you sure have some silly ideas! (Guess my chances of getting a post in the bureaucracy are shot now, huh?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:42 PM

QUICK EVERYBODY!! Go to TWEED'S PAGE...It does not work!!!

WHY???? BECAUSE THE TWEEDIOT FOCKED UP HIS OWN WEB SITE!!!!! HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!

WHAT A FOCKIN' IDIOT!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:33 PM

I have lost my run-down feeling
Since I heard Norman Vincent Pealing


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:24 PM

I have discussed this with my Friend and Mentor, Harry Lee Wigley and he reminded me of what Norman Vincent Peale had to say to someone in a similar situation..."Lick my balls!"

I have been accosted and threatened by overlord after overlord...after a while you all sound the same "yadda yadda yadda blah blah...etc."

Same old song with a different dance.

My dear over-bearing Overlord, I pay more attention to Tweed's farts than anything you have to say.

Therefore, henceforth, consider you and whatever you may say igmoed by King khandu!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Galactic Overlord
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:13 PM

My Dear Children,

You have poisoned your planet. You have played with fusion weapons. You have irrevocably changed your DNA. You have created bodhrans, banjos, saxophones, and accordions. And you expect Us to be merciful to you? We have withheld Our wrath only because We expect you to see the error of your ways and reform.

Child Khandu and Child Tweed: We are becoming very, very vexed with you. Do not make Us come there and enforce a "Time Out."

As for your touted Ohioan, We assure you that he or she could not hold a candle (you should pardon the expression) to the gaseous discharge of a Mflxyan of what you would term Deneb VI.

Wishing you were here, We remain your humble and devoted servant,
TGO


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 16 May 03 - 08:56 PM

The lunar drama of last evening inspired poetry from the depths of my heart:

"Something About..." by King khandu

Something about the sunrise reminds me of your heart
That beats the rhythm of love for me
Something about the sunset reminds me of your promise
That is kept alive for me
It is true...you fulfill my fantasies
And meet my every need
Something about the smell of shit
Reminds me of Tweed


Dear Galactic Overload,

I will gladly join forces with my old KOTROT and First Duck at the first whiff of exfoliation. Please be advised that it was he and I who invented sidewalks. It was he and I who masterminded watergate. It was he and I who invented the internet and forks.
Together, Tweed and I can, and, if necessary, will move mightily against any act of aggression on your part. We shall defend MOAB!
So, may I say as tactfully and diplomatically as I can...BITE A FAT HOG IN THE ASS!!!
We have a secret weapon in Ohio that can burn the hair outta your unborn great-great grando overlaod's noses! DO NOT FORCE US TO USE IT!!
Meanwhile, my disgraceful and treacherous bass turd of a Former KOTROT and First Duck, Tweed and I are at one anothers throats for a damnably good reason...we detest one another!

King-don't fock with us-khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 16 May 03 - 08:43 PM

Mere idol threats you pompuous pustule ob a boil wif no hed! And on "our pitiful planet" monopoles iz a game played by little kids wif fake money and liddle Tophats, racecars, shoes and thimbles.

Howebber, mebbe I culd use a good exfoliatorin'. I am getting summat wrinkeled and worn looking these days.

Mind yore place UberGlax, or we will rebuke you and cast yore ass into a heard ob swine!

Yerz,
Tweed
Exhorter and Banisher ob Headless Boils


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Galactic Overlord
Date: 16 May 03 - 05:03 PM

Dear Children,

We are patient, but Our patience is limited. Did not Our demonstration last night when We darkened your moon hold any significance to you?

Child Tweed, We will insure that Child Khandu also has a magnetic sign exactly the same size and gaussage as yours. The sole difference will be in the exposed magnetic poles, which will cause your signs to repel each other. Should your bickering continue, We will cause the magnets on the signs to be changed to monopoles. Should We be forced to do this, We will ensure that Earth holds both of you responsible for the result.

When One "exfoliates" a person of the race inhabiting your pitiful planet, One causes all of that person's skin to fall off. The result is both painful and disgusting to all Galactic entities. The one from whom you received your mitochondrial DNA may have threatened you with this by saying, "I'm going to skin you alive, boy!"

Peace, My Children, and write if you get work.

TGO


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 03 - 01:27 PM

I have absolutely no experience in running for pubic orifice, LH. Giving lip service to such ideals is entirely too hypercritical for my tastes.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 16 May 03 - 01:05 PM

To Mmario%; I refute yore unfunded allegators az being bald faced lies and habving no sound foundations or footers to build upon. The OFFICIAL MAGNETIC SIGN will draw only thet what is Good,Pure, and Ethereal unto it and repel only those carrying shotguns, lynch ropes or high evilness in thar harts.

To Amos:^+ You are a double speakin' instigarator and I feel sartin that you live only to see the final conflagration between one good pure and ethereal Knight who habz lost hiz pafth, and the pore hopelessly pathetic nutbag known az Khandoo ob Mississippi so az you may sell refined sugar and sliced bread to the survivors at inflated pricing.

To the Galactic Obverlarfd:::~0 I habv no feer of bein' exfoliated as I yam no tree nor bush nor shrub ob the arth. Yore threats ar ob no consequence and tharfore I tell you do not let the sun of MOAB set on yore hiney ef you know what iz good for you az I will form alliances and ceacefirez wif kingkhandu and hiz Royal Dancing Army ob Tartmen in Tutus and will rebuke you and yore ilk mos scosciously. You may try yore hand at exfoliating khing khnadnoze but all you'll get iz the feathers ob his Royal Cherokee Headress.

The lunatic Lordkhandoo and I are at odds but we are aslo obv the heartland ob MOAB and thus you see we ar oslo kin in thet way. You hav no chance whatsomever so get thee hence foule beast or suffer a barrage ob rebukage such az hab never been heard in a good while.

Yerz,
Tweed
EauClaire de la Loon


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 03 - 10:20 AM

I think he did run for pubic office...just recently. Isn't that right, Amos?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:35 AM

Is it true that the magnetic sign is capable of reverse polarity - thus propelling itslef outward at high velocity and slicing( with razor sharp edges) the crowds of people flocking towards it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:32 AM

Yeah, yeah -- promises, promises!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Galactic Overlord
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:13 AM

My Dear Children,

We have only your welfare at heart. We have, over the years, gone out of Our way to insure peace and tranquility within Our realm so that your pitiful existences might develop as fully as they are capable of doing.

The exchanges between "Khandu" and "Tweed" are disturbing this peace and tranquility, however. Should they continue We will most assuredly insure peace and tranquility in Our realm by also providing "Khandu" with an artul magnetic sign. Should that fail, We will totally exfoliate both of them and their supporters. In public. When they are on stage. Before a vast audience. Then We will turn them inside out.

Take heed of these, Our words!

All Our love to the families,
TGO


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 16 May 03 - 12:36 AM

Antelope Freeway, one-one-hundred-and-twenty-eighth mile.

And number 7 is a trick question. Frank Zappa was a Mother.

Aloha,
Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 03 - 11:30 PM

No, YM, I have not. Now I once had a career counselor who looked at me in complete despair and suggested I should run for president, since I seemed ill-suited for any other occupation. But I wasn't interested. Yes, I can tap-dance -- it'sd a survival trait. But part of my dance is still a certain integrity, which I will not break (I hope!) and which such a pursuit would place under extreme duress. If nominated, I will duck out, and if elected I will resign.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 15 May 03 - 11:28 PM

Dere khing khorphoo,
I yam appelled at yore treatment ob yore subjeks!!! To reefer to the NOR OB A COUPLE OB THINGS az NOR OF PIGSHIT caused me much disdrss and I even nearly did myself harm while choking wif gret indigestion!!! And fore you to go down on pore Amos about not usin' yore song which I hab raison to belieb waz writ by Andrew Dice Clay az it habz no chivalous content whatsonebber, wabez completle out of the lines and most unkhingly, and ob corse nobobby is surprise at that I'm shore!!!

Finally,yore feebel jabs at my spelling and rhetorik habz no use for me and I culd car even not on wig about that. You are like water and I yam a duck's ass and thus do yore insults roll off me, much like the buzzard bidet waters rolleth from ther arse and thar greasy fevvers!!!

Yore dayz iz numbered O DhonkeyKhong az I habv THE OFFICIAL MAGNETIC SIGN and you don't. The Mississippiyites will be drawn az throngs ob dung beeties to fresh shit on the Serengetty. It iz farly beautiful, attractive and MAGNETIC,HAW,HAW,HAW!!!

You may vacate the "palace" and surrender or we will come to Mizippi wif vast forses and legions and drag yore miserable ass back to the NYCFTTS whar may you rot in a sitz baff forever!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 15 May 03 - 11:18 PM

I have been experiencing the lovely lunar eclipse, thanks to Rustic Rebel for the heads-up!

I'll bet the lunatics (Tweed and his ilk) are really howling it up out there!

Of course, I am certain there is a lot of howling out in California as well as Ohio, too!

All is calm in Mississippi!

King-nyahni nyahni nyah nyah-khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 15 May 03 - 10:33 PM

Another iten, there, Amos.

From your last post, I think it is clear why you were considered for the "Golden Tongued Double Talker". You are slick! Just look at how you oiled the revelation of the archived PM into a thing of chivalry!

Have you ever ran for public office?

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 15 May 03 - 10:29 PM

Uh...I meant the word "JUST".

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 15 May 03 - 10:27 PM

Hmmmm. Methinks it was very subliminal of you to italicize the word "Your" in the songs title.

Oh yes...one more thingy...The sub-title of the song is "With Apologies to All Women except Emmy".

That is "EMMY, not Amy!

Ken


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 03 - 10:17 PM

Guess ya caught me open-hearted, there, Kingie -- I was straight forward about telling my reserved pusillanimity algorithm, you will admit, but I also have this chivalrous streak and in general my experience has shewn that the fairer types don't mind really being terrifying but they ABsolutely don't want anyone pointing it out or blowing their cover on the business. So I try to honor their needs and requirements, and not reveal the seamy side of femininity, so to speak.

Since you did so, I wish you the best of inherited winds.

Now, I admit the song "After All You're Just a Woman" is musically fine and a good song basically, and I would like to volunteer to send it out to hordes of admiring females on your behalf. Please send me a list of all the significant women in your life to date, and I will make sure they get personally addressed copies of this performance, which I must say has high professional standards.

Please include any data you can find about your next of kin and HMO, also.

Very best regards,


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 15 May 03 - 09:27 PM

To watch buffoons lavishing in their buffoonery is such a fun and delightful thing to watch! Amos and Tweed!!! HAW HAW HAW!!!!

First of all, Dear Jessup, I still got the PM you sent saying YOU WERE AFRAID OF A FEMININE BACKLASH!!!! Now, you come up with the lame, transparent pissery of an excuse! You figured that ole King khandu would not archive every PM he has ever received...every single one of them....butYOU ARE WRONG!!! as usual! HAW HAW HAW!!!

Dated and signed...solid evidence!!! Scaredy kitty Amos...those short tempered women you described would cause you to act like Tweed...pee down your pants leg!!

As for the Doofus of the Realm of Tupelo, Sir Tweed, Haw!! You think that sign is gonna cause my subjects to flock to you like flies on a cow's ass?. First...remember, that sign is magnetic, not glued on. It can come off really easily. But better than that, you pisspot, my people will not flock to your sign at all because Not one of them can read!!!!! HAW HAW HAW!!! This is MISSISSIPPI, you know!
Hell man, how do you think I got to be King??? I CAN READ!! OH...I am sorry Tweed...maybe I should have said "Yew thank thet sine iz gonner caws my subjex to fluck to yew lack fleyes on a cowzass...etc." Perhaps then you could have understood it better

bee-dubya-ell the KNOWER OF PIGSHIT, you made up your quiz only because you felt so dumb for miserably failing my SIMPLE quiz!

Rustic Rebel and KNOWER OF DIDDLYSQUAT, I made a mistake in scoring. The Hootie and Blowfish song did refer to "Tangled Up...", but it also referred to another Dylan song more extensively. The other song was the one I was thinking of, but since you named that one, you get credit for that question.

Still, no one yet wins the two khandu songs, one of which makes Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Amos tinkle from their tallywhackers into their little footies.

If no winner by tomorrow night, I will give the correct answers Saturday.

KING-yesterday-today-forever-khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 03 - 07:20 PM

I ain't never been a copralithographer, but if you'll pass me my crayons I'll give it some practice.... :>)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 03 - 06:05 PM

Shoes for defense!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 May 03 - 04:06 PM

but Ahmoose! The quizes quizs multiple quiz items are pretty copralithic, you have to admit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 15 May 03 - 03:39 PM

Shoes for industry!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 03 - 01:57 PM

Well Jesus Kwist if that don't beat all for the decline of empire. Here we have a score of the brightest and the best, a virtual Camelot, dedicated to the proposition that they can build a thread that will be the very best of all things BS and take over the world and win peace and freedom for all, feed the poor of spirit and raise up the downtrodden and the overly serious, and after a great start, a mere 250-some threads into this world class venture, it has degenerated into a quiz game!!

Well, I swan. Or, at least, I know someone who does. Anyway, I want to know what the Monarch of Mudcat Madness -- whichever of the three will answer -- proposes to do about this depressing dissipation and dispersal of energies. Surely we can do better than this!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 May 03 - 02:06 AM

Well all-right Mr. Sparty-Pants Khing Khernoodle. Let's try a REAL quiz this time! Hah! Let the battle of the kwizzes begin! No more "Hotel California" questions allowed!


1. Name at least three songs from the late 60's/early 70's whose titles refer to street names for LSD. ("Lucy in the Sky" ain't one of 'em.)

2. Two well-known acoustic guitar models were made by rival companies as the signature guitars for two well-known singing cowboys. What are the guitars and who were the cowboys? For extra credit, what was the more famous of the two cowboys biggest hit and who wrote it? Surprise!

3. For many years, rock guitarist Ted Nugent played a guitar model more commonly associated with jazz players. What was it?

4. What has been an item of English bluesman John Mayall's onstage attire since the 60's. (Don't be a smart-ass and answer "pants".)

5. Two late 60's/early 70's Florida garage bands of note were "The Second Coming" and "The One Percent". What did they change their names to.

6. True or false?   Eric Clapton is the only member of Derek and the Dominoes who is still alive, and not in a prison or a mental institution.

7. Frank Zappa's father was A) a symphony conductor B) a high school teacher C) a policeman D) Zappa never knew his father.

8. What noted guitarist auditioned for Linda Ronstadt's band and was told that the audition was over when he put a capo on his guitar?

9. John Hartford was well-known for dancing on an amplified stomp-box while playing the fiddle. What electronic device, more commonly associated with rock guitarists, did he incorporate into the amplification to give the stomp-box its unique sound?

10. Where and on what date was the largest assembled crowd to ever see and hear Jimi Hendrix perform live. (Hint: It wasn't Woodstock. Lots of people had already left Woodstock before Jimi ever got on stage.)

I ain't gonna play no "first person to get 'em all right gets a crappy little demo tape of my song about th' night I picked up Jesus while he was hitchin' down Interstate 10" games. Anybody get's 'em all right gets a free weekend at the Sandy Landing Yacht and Racquet Club! (Transportation and meals not included. Bring your own tent.)

BWL - Knower of 70% of Things


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 03 - 12:16 AM

Your Majesty:

Like your infamous predecessor George the III you are tilting at the prospect of revolution. The reason "Just a Woman" was not on the Cat CDs was I ran outter space on them. I dearly wanted to include it becauseof its overwhelming bitterness and sardonicism but I couldn't justify a whole extra disk just to squeeze it in there, you see. My pusillanimituy is reserved for much better things, like shapely lasses with very short tempers and eyes that glow like hell-coals and talons that glimmer like the devil's razor. The kind you grow over theah, come to think of it...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 14 May 03 - 10:45 PM

Dammit Rapaire,
And I thought this BS was causing ME to become a liddle unhinged!!!

Kharnads, Yore days are numbered and we will see who iz pissing on the rug then!!HAW.

Yerz,
Tweed
Dauphin De Mizippi


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 03 - 10:25 PM

I no longer agree or disagree with anything or everything said before or after this. I shall, instead, sit on this fencepost and make rude noises at everyone.

Here's one you can try. Fill in the blank: "...for the cops they all retire young way up in ___________________________."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 14 May 03 - 10:01 PM

Ok King Khandu-I'll change my answer on Number 4. to Psychedelic Lollipop and 6. to Taj Mahal.
RR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 14 May 03 - 10:00 PM

Okay. I will make it more interesting, not much more, but a little more!

To the first person who gets all the correct answers, I will send a tape of two of my songs, one of which my daer Jessup was too "shakin' in his shorts" scared to put on the Mudcat CD, and which Sir Pee in his Pants Tweed was to scared to put on his website for fear of female reprisals, called "You're Just a Woman".

The other song is a delightful romp called "The Tamale Song" which has special guests (horses, cats, dogs and apes) joining in!

Winner gets Two Original khandu Songs!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 14 May 03 - 09:48 PM

Close, but no cigar (nor autographed photo of somebody!)

You missed four!

I will deal with the Tweediots who believe Tweed later!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 14 May 03 - 09:41 PM

I am in on this quiz- some I knew, some I guessed and some searching.
1.Mitch Mitchell
2.Thick as a Brick
3.Tangled up in Blue
4. Tobacco Road
5.Bach's "Double Concerto"
6.Bill Morrissey
7. David Selby
8.Alberta Bound-Gorden Lightfoot
9. Jim Gorden killed his mom with a hammer
10.Me and Bobby McGee
And the bonus question- I am forced by knowing who created this question to pick...A.

PoB & P-L Rustic


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 14 May 03 - 09:16 PM

Amos,
I don't know about the rest of the oblivous great men you hab named but thar is a barbecue place in Memphis called Paynes Barbecue and I have reports from my spies thet it iz the best around, so I will speak wif them people at Paine's and take thar council on usurping the Evil king kharmaKhameleons'power.

The best way around all this may be to just allow hiz mizerable self to excape off to Alabama wif our aid, az that tactic semes to hab worked well in recent times in other world arenas.

I will be gladdened to see hiz statues toppled though, az I'm shore most ob hiz misused subjeks will oslo.

More than likel he iz barricaded in hiz underground bunker in fear obv the approaching OFFICIAL TWEED'S BLUES MAGNETIC SIGN!!! Thar iz no excape Lord Khondom, we will libelate Mizippi and break yore evil hold upon all who dwell there too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 May 03 - 08:46 PM

Wal, Dog bite mah pecker if there ain't signs of Reee-volushun in the AIR~!!!! Now this is more like it!! We gonna get a Better King? Or are we gonna lissen to reason one time? I think this is an excellent practice and rehearsing for the incitation to the revolution that must someday come to the down trodden people of the Butch Colernies, them as have so taxed they cain't even pee without shelling out and have no futhher respeck for their feller men because times is so desperate for a buck.

There is a few writers we mought wanna lissen to about all this, that Adams feller was good, Misth Paine, and there ain't none like Old Tom J., and mebbe we could adapt some of his ideas to this here century? But we gotta handle the revolutionary requirement first, I reckon, and ah yam deelighted tuh see you boys warming up fer it!


A

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Sheeney Knause agin
Date: 14 May 03 - 08:40 PM

I mest up on nuber 5

Hotel Calif...based on Californyer Dreemin...the feller, if memry serves, stopped in to a church. The preeche got tard uv him hangin round, not puttin enythang in the kerleckshun plate and chased him out and locked the door. The feller had to go summers so he checked into a hotel!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Sheeney Knause
Date: 14 May 03 - 08:33 PM

Ah wuz disserpointed to see Shiney Knause on this heer farum. He is a low down lier and rat. Sence he hab spoke so bad bout me, I muss teel the truff bout him.

Me and Shiney are identicated Chimese Twins. We bof got compleet bodys but we ar hooked togather. His nose is ertached to the low end ob my spine. Oir mommer say thet she went out wif her boyfiend, Tom and hiz brudder, Tom junyer. She say thay hab thair way wif her and got her stagnent. Then we wuz borned. She say thet Ah is Tom's boy but Shiney iz Tom Junyers. I bleeve it.

Shiney is a bitter feller frum havin to haver hiz nose at my butt, but thet is life. Yew gotta make the beast of it.

Last week, we moved heer to Alabamer and on oir first day, we wuz erested and chunked in jell. They say it iz a "morls charge" they holdin us on. They say butt kissin in pubic places aint aloud in Alabamer. I trod to splain it to them thet we wuz Chimese twins but they say "Tail it to the Juggs".

We still in jell but they have a liberry so the poiseners cud lern, thets how I git to play on the cumputter!

But ole Shiney, he dont lack it when I tail peepel he is a brown-noser and a suck-arse. It make him mad. Sumtime when he mad he bite my butt. But I gits back at him and eat sum spinnish and pintoes. Boy! He turn green!!!

So dont lissen to enythang he say caws hiz brane iz been comtamernatred over the yearz by persion gasses from my arse.

I wanna take Kinkydu's quiz sence bee-dubyell felled it so mizzerbly and I wont cheet like him caws I wont wair no Googles!

1 Thetd be eazy. The band iz dino dezzy and billy. I thank the drumber is dezzy. His daddy wuz thet Ardo feller on "Isle Uv Lucy" on Teevee. I dont knoe whos daddy wuz billys.

2 Your wise men don't know how it feels to be...erested in Alabamer on a morls charge.

3 Hooter and the Blowjobs sucked on the Dylan song "Idjit Wind"

4Blues Magoos? I don't knoe him, but I knue Red Magoos, he lived down thair on the Perkins place, the one thet had the bent cat. Peepel'd cum fer miles to see thet bent cat, we never did knoe how the dammed thang got bent though. Ole Red Magoos allus spekerlated it wuz in a car reck, but I never did see no cat drive a car. Red had a hit once. He sed it was ascid er sumpn lack it. He also called it Ellis Dee or eether Ellis Dee solt it to him. He went boggers affer thet.

5 Hotel California...Thet querschun kin be fingered out usin gudd old logic. The preecher thru him out and locked the door, so the boy hab to go summers, so he checked in to the Hotl Californee.

6 Lap slide player?? Iz thet enythang lack a slidin bored player?

7 Quentin Collins? I knue Finus Collins and he hab a hole passel uv kids, I thank thair'us one named Quentin, but No body played wif him caws he wuz allsu gittin in to trubbel. Old Finus finly run him off.

8"------ bound" Thets eazy. My mommer allus sung it to us. It wuz "Whupped and bound, whupped and bound, it's gudd to be whupped and bound".

9 Musta been old Grover Glover who kilt his own maw. He tuk some of thet Ellis Dee wif Red Magoo. He went rinkydink in hiz haid too. Kilt the bent cat.

10...Roger Miller did it and Janis Joplin did it and beedubell say it wuz him an Bobby Magee they did. I dont knoe, beedubyell but I warnt be tellin everboddy thet. They mite git the rong ideer. I knoed old man Magee was a odd'un but I didn't knoe Bobby wuz.

Now, bout them spaw farts, old Shiney cud anser thet, he the fart pro!

Sheeney Knause


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 14 May 03 - 07:49 PM

KNOWER OF THINGS You made a miserable 70%!!! EVEN WITH GOOGLE!!!!! I am incensed!!!!

And the rest of you tweediots, I shall speak more later!!!

Kk


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