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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 31 Jul 12 - 12:57 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 31 Jul 12 - 12:32 PM
Amos 31 Jul 12 - 11:49 AM
Amos 31 Jul 12 - 09:41 AM
Rapparee 31 Jul 12 - 09:21 AM
Rapparee 30 Jul 12 - 08:17 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 30 Jul 12 - 08:00 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 12 - 06:31 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 12 - 06:21 PM
Amos 30 Jul 12 - 06:12 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 12 - 05:25 PM
Little Hawk 30 Jul 12 - 02:45 PM
Amos 30 Jul 12 - 02:38 PM
Acme 30 Jul 12 - 01:55 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 12 - 09:14 AM
Amos 30 Jul 12 - 01:10 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 12 - 08:34 PM
Rapparee 29 Jul 12 - 06:27 PM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 12 - 05:31 PM
Amos 29 Jul 12 - 03:31 PM
gnu 29 Jul 12 - 02:50 PM
Rapparee 29 Jul 12 - 02:42 PM
Amos 29 Jul 12 - 01:04 PM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 12 - 12:41 PM
Rapparee 29 Jul 12 - 09:53 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 12 - 01:55 AM
Amos 29 Jul 12 - 01:10 AM
Acme 28 Jul 12 - 11:38 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 12 - 11:02 PM
Amos 28 Jul 12 - 08:24 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 12 - 07:24 PM
Amos 28 Jul 12 - 07:11 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 12 - 09:44 AM
Amos 28 Jul 12 - 02:05 AM
Amos 27 Jul 12 - 09:22 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 12 - 05:22 PM
Acme 27 Jul 12 - 03:37 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 27 Jul 12 - 03:29 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 12 - 02:08 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 27 Jul 12 - 01:49 PM
Amos 27 Jul 12 - 01:37 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 12 - 09:26 AM
Rapparee 26 Jul 12 - 08:49 PM
Amos 26 Jul 12 - 06:32 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 12 - 06:11 PM
gnu 26 Jul 12 - 03:06 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 12 - 03:04 PM
Amos 26 Jul 12 - 11:39 AM
Amos 26 Jul 12 - 09:23 AM
Rapparee 26 Jul 12 - 09:11 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 12:57 PM

Honestly, I do not think riches and fame are in my destiny. I can make do in retirement and record some stuff and perhaps that will suffice, maybe even sell some CDs if I am lucky, under my "Mudcat Amos" brand.

Hey!! I'm doing a solo gig for thirty minutes at the Getaway this year!! Puff me up and call me fatty!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 12:32 PM

Will ya still talk to us when yer rich and famous?

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 11:49 AM

One of my forward-looking projects is laying down recordings of a lot of songs. To that end I have just ordered the incomparable A&H mixer seen here as well as this inimitable studio microphone. Soon I will be a rock star! Mwahahaha....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 09:41 AM

I'd like to go to Nova Scotia again. Been a while.

I AM going to Raleigh/Durham.

And I have five weeks of work left.

And there's this ketch in the Bahamas...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 09:21 AM

MOM!! You're NOT going to Nova Scotia, so stop hanging around in the gutter talking to that other thread about it! Yes, it's a nice enough place but you know you just want to know if everyone wears kilts. They don't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 08:17 PM

Yeah, you did. Wimp. Anybody can deal with cheetahs and stuff, but nuns??? In a parochial school??? Why, Sister Mary de Sade alone traumatized a whole generation. My mother still remembered what they had done to her when she went there and would never talk about it, kinda like a veteran of horrible combat where her position had been overrun and the gunships and napalm and bombs had to be called in on herself. Whenever we'd ask about her school days she'd get that thousand-yard stare of someone who has seen too much and just sigh deeply.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 08:00 PM

Geez, Rap...you were brought up in one of them Catholic schools? With the big nuns whackin' you with rulers and stealin' yer pants and generally terrorizin' you?

Man, that explains a lot. I feel a new depth of compassion and understandin' for you that I never have before. I gotta cut you some slack in future, cos you gotta be sufferin' way worse from the past traumas than I had expected. I mean, hey, I hadda grow up in the jungle, menaced by predators and tribal hunters, and sleepin' out in the rain...but I had it easy compared to you!

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 06:31 PM

Come to think of it, Vic wasn't around much after that. Nobody really knew what happened to him. Some kids are said to have found his bloody shirt stuffed into the convent's trash can but that was just a rumor, I think. Attention was diverted shortly after that when the nuns discovered that some eighth grade boys were de-pantsing seventh grade boys in a shed on the playground and throwing their pants into the alley, forcing the seventh graders to retrieve them in their underpants. ALL eighth grade boys were confined to their classrooms, the girls taken to the gym, and the boys addressed by the Pastor about their bodies being Temples of the Holy Ghost and stuff like that. Apparently the Powers That Be thought there was some sort of homosexual orgies going on, however we had no idea what they were talking about (other than it had something to do with s*x). We all thought that it was in good clean fun. No, I don't know what the girls did while we were being lectured.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 06:21 PM

We tried that, but we're talking CATHOLIC school here Amos -- with nuns!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 06:12 PM

See, if Vic had been smart and applied apathetic indifference in carefully measured amounts, the destruction would have been much better contained.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 05:25 PM

Actually, that applies to any problem, including deriving square roots arithmetically. When we had to do that in grade school, Vic put some cherry bombs under the teacher's chair and that took care of that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 02:45 PM

Rap, that is exactly what Bush, Cheney, Wolfowitz and various other luminaries in the late 90s New World Order planning crew had in mind when they wanted to launch some wars to get control of Middle Eastern and Caspian oil....but they needed to somehow get the American public to acquiese, despite the fact that no nation in this world would be stupid enough to provide an excuse by openly attacking the USA and providing a "Pearl Harbour level event".

The answer is simple. Just as you said.

"There is no problem in politics which is so big or so complicated that it cannot be solved by the proper calculation and placement of the correct amount of high explosives." And by well orchestrated media coverage too, of course, but that's inevitable, so why worry?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 02:38 PM

You don't have to overcomplicate things--an applied dose of uncaring apathy will handle any computational problem.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 01:55 PM

High explosives be damned - simply change out the power supply and see if it works.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 09:14 AM

Back when I was winding the mainsprings and firing up the boilers that kept the computers running, we had a saying that was very apropos. Perhaps it's time to share it.

There is no problem in Computer Science which is so big or so complicated that it cannot be solved by the proper calculation and placement of the correct amount of high explosives.


It helps to remember that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 01:10 AM

They say that desperarte times call for desperate measures, but that's what they would say, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 08:34 PM

.yllis eb t'noD


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 06:27 PM

.rehtie daed on si luaP .egassem cinatas a teg ton lliw uoy sdrawkcab siht daer uoy fI


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 05:31 PM

That's exactly what Shane always says...only he adds the suffix "eh?" onto the end of it.

Sounds like it was a lovely occasion, Amos. I wish I'd been there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 03:31 PM

PErfectly right, Rapp; clearly it takes one to know one.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 02:50 PM

It's all Greek to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 02:42 PM

...Greece, where of course all Western philosophy has its roots.

Bull patooties! Them old Greeks took ideas from places like Egypt, Arabia, India, China, and even France, filed off the serial numbers, and jammed 'em all together and called it "their" philosophy. Then they made so much noise about it that people came to believe it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 01:04 PM

I think Rapp was commandeering the conversation LH was having with me, using his signature deft technique of blunt force combined with fictive narcissism.

There was a lot of conversation going on before and after the concert. I got into a long chat with the chair of the Philosophy Department, a stunningly good-looking Greek gentleman named George. Well, his name is actually Georgios Anagnostopoulos; anyway, I got to pick his brains about the decline of philosophy in western civilization.

Did you know that there is a quadri-annual convention of philosophers from all over the world, just like the Olympics? More impressive, this year's convention is being held in Greece, where of course all Western philosophy has its roots. But more impressive, did you realize this event draws fifteen thousand people as participants from all over the world? Who'd have thought there was such a community of philosophers sprinkled among our barbaric world, hiding among the heathens and the know-nothings and the grinches of modern materialism!!?? It gives hope to the weary breast, indeed it do!

The Greek government had originally committed significant assistance with funding the current year's convocation, and of course now that the economic crisis has reduced the Greek government to an international whipping boy in Oliver Twist raiments, the convention has been left in the lurch. But they are scrambling to make do and find other sources of funding.

Schick's virtuosity achieved a standing ovation. He's completely artful, selfless, engaged, present, and impassioned in his work, a joy to see in play, and self-effacing and gracious when he is not playing.

End of Report!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 12:41 PM

Actually, the enquiring minds are now sorry that they asked.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 09:53 AM

Were the benches there stained with tears and perspiration?
No, they were soaked with water but dried quickly.

Were the birdies flying from tree to tree?
No. Birdies were (and are) frying as they go from tree to tree because it's so danged hot.

Was there little to say? No conversation?
Well, Poop-Eye called Too Tall a "rotted, dry-gulching, vulture-eatin', lilly-livered, kitty-kickin', unwashed son of an unwed mother labradoodle" and Too Tall replied that Poop-Eye had odd eating, hygienic and personal habits involving boogers and body lice.

Inquiring minds want to know.
Now the inquiring minds know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 01:55 AM

Were the benches there stained with tears and perspiration?

Were the birdies flying from tree to tree?

Was there little to say? No conversation?

Inquiring minds want to know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 01:10 AM

Bit of a sticky wicket,that.

Just came back from an amazing concert by Steven Schick, who directs the La Jolla Symphony and who is possibly the world's greatest living percussionist. AN amazing performance--impassioned, rich, and executed with impeccable virtuosity on percussion instruments ranging from flower pots to tympani. Incredible. This was held at a sort of garden party in a beautiful home overlooking the Pacific from the bluffs just at the edge of the UCSD campus. The place was just frying with brilliant minds and the performance was mind-blowing. Who'd'a thunk it?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jul 12 - 11:38 PM

Next time you need help moving earth, just let me know. I have a dog here who is lately into digging trenches. I'm sure he could do a fine job of liberating some poor soul stuck in the encrusted mud.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 12 - 11:02 PM

Ya know, just yesterday I went out to Dave's place and picked up my revolver. He'd been working on it, tuning it up you might say. What with the gunfights here every High Noon I might need it. For example, just the other day Poop-eyed Pete walked out of the PV and shot it out with Too Tall right there in the street. Bystanders ducked inside buildings or put up their umbrellas to protect themselves from the spray. The water turned the dust of the street into mud and eventually you could only tell where the two were because their hats were still afloat, so to speak. Fortunately the lava flow from the Yellowstone Caldera underlies the town so the street dried out pretty quick from the bottom up and there they stood, rising from the street like statues on an elevator. Mud dried on 'em so quick they had to be chipped out by jackhammers and the judicious use of dynamite.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 12 - 08:24 PM

No use you should pretend even knowing where it is, scumknuckle!

Ne'er the less, the 45 and five is Mine. Ands it is going straight into my retirement fund, not to some damned 501c3 for the preservation of very large numbers.


The Hero's Song

Oh forty five and five at last we meet!
We struggling mortals from the lower planes
Who over stony turns and cruel multiples
Have sought your distant flame.
Now let us spread the gladsome news
Rejoice that Mom is yet alive!
And she has blessed her sons and daughters
With this forty-five and five.
This hour has been long in coming
Nor ever shall it come again
But men may tell their children's children
Forty-five and five is claimed,
ANd it's a whole lot more than, say, ten.

Baldur Woodstock III
Historical Minstrelsy Department
University of Velleities and Misanthropic Palimpsest
Weston, Virginia, 1911


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 12 - 07:24 PM

I wouldn't THINK of demanding that we meet on the heroes' field. You know how picky those doorkeepers are and I wouldn't want you embarrassed by exclusion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 12 - 07:11 PM

It is I, the wanderig hero come
Far from the trumps, far from the drum,
Come from the Mexican valley far
Where the streets are stone, and the roads are tar.
Come to the home of the Mother high
To claim the hero's rightful pie
The 500th post of this K I claim
In sainted Isabella's name
And let no man demand I yield
Or meet me on the hero's field.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 12 - 09:44 AM

Will you promise not to play the accordionpipes again? OR the bagordion?

I'll tell Eiseley...I'm going to the farmers' market and she pushes addictive substances there. "Here's some for free, kid...hehehe."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 12 - 02:05 AM

But Stilly, I DO believe you and Rapp and several others of y'all should get to the Getaway this Fall.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 12 - 09:22 PM

No worries. I yam lining up enough projects to keep me dancing into my late eighties. :D

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 12 - 05:22 PM

He won't do that. He can't count that high even with one hand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jul 12 - 03:37 PM

Plunging into dishes and kitchen clutter in preparations for the weekend of canning jelly. And I made a bowl of yoghurt. I came up for air to skim the Chongo antics but I did see another reference to Amos' retirement. Amos, you'd better not be one of those folks who turns up his toes six months after he retires!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 Jul 12 - 03:29 PM

The Inn was known as the Old Dun Cow
It was a place of ill repute
Where lawless men would congregate
To count their stolen loot


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 12 - 02:08 PM

And in that curtain of moonlight
Up to the old inn door
Raparree came riding, riding,
And his butt was very sore.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 Jul 12 - 01:49 PM

The trees was standin' stark and bare
Like a drunken man in his underwear
While up above the moon did leer
Upon the heather dark and dreer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 12 - 01:37 PM

The night was dank, the weather, fell
And spirits wandewred in the dell
And scared the small birds from their trees
Where moonlight stopped their harmonies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 12 - 09:26 AM

Mom! Get back up there and stop associating with those men and washing machines!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 12 - 08:49 PM

See? What did I tell you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 12 - 06:32 PM

Silly mans! That's a digital switching transformer!!

Chongo working his voodoo on Gnu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 12 - 06:11 PM

Oh, heck. I'll just explain the schematic.

See, you got your power input. Power goes a through a line and into a squiggle thingie and out the other side, where there's a dark triangle with a heavy bar across the pointy end. Then there's a C-shape with a bar and a thing like the front of end of a music staff only there's no end of the measure and only four lines and they point down. Then there's some more of those triangle-bar thingies and some more squiggles. At one point the line goes down and there's a down-pointing triangle made of up some lines that get smaller and smaller. Anyway, there are some places where the lines make an upside-down U over other lines. And a line going up that has another triangle on it, flat side up with a line through the middle from left to right (or up and down, depending on how you're looking). In a couple of places the lines have a dot with a diagonal line coming up, a little gap, and the line continues on the other side.

That's pretty much it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jul 12 - 03:06 PM

"suppressing his considerable rage at Chongo"

Ya know sompn I dunno?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 12 - 03:04 PM

Yeah, they talk about me all the time. And as for not causing gnu pain, don't forget that a receiver is just a transmitter in reverse. You plugged it in backwards and the seismic theta waves (to which he is very sensitive) are causing him to endure unendurable pain. I'd sketch the schematics for you but even MOAB has imposed limitations.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 12 - 11:39 AM

ANyway, I was listening in on some communications between nucelar submarines the other day and one of them remarked, "Oh, that Rapparree guy? THinks he's so high and mighty? Yeah, just 'cause he operates above sea level, he believes he has a dry wit...whaddya gonna do, ya know whaddImean?". The other submarine just nodded. I think it was on patrol or sompn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 12 - 09:23 AM

Rapp,

I suspect the sciatica inflammation was caused by Gnu suppressing his considerable rage at Chongo. Our instruments detect signals, they don't emanate. Well, the transmitters do, but they are usually direct-connected, and given the power cubed law the emanations wouldn't even reach gnu from here.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 12 - 09:11 AM

Sure, sure. I think your not only listening in on our nuclear submarines' communication but your low frequency stuff has inflamed gnu's sciatic nerve and is causing him the unendurable pain he is enduring.

You should, at the very least, apologize for causing him unendurable pain.


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