Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134] [1135] [1136] [1137]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 03 Oct 03 - 10:07 AM
Little Hawk 03 Oct 03 - 12:00 PM
Little Hawk 05 Oct 03 - 07:04 PM
GUEST,freds 06 Oct 03 - 09:24 AM
Amos 06 Oct 03 - 12:28 PM
Little Hawk 06 Oct 03 - 12:51 PM
GUEST,freds 06 Oct 03 - 02:58 PM
Amos 06 Oct 03 - 03:20 PM
Little Hawk 06 Oct 03 - 04:21 PM
Rustic Rebel 06 Oct 03 - 10:25 PM
Rustic Rebel 06 Oct 03 - 10:32 PM
Kim C 07 Oct 03 - 11:19 AM
Little Hawk 07 Oct 03 - 12:04 PM
Kim C 07 Oct 03 - 12:55 PM
Little Hawk 07 Oct 03 - 01:09 PM
Amos 07 Oct 03 - 06:22 PM
Little Hawk 07 Oct 03 - 06:52 PM
JennyO 08 Oct 03 - 11:34 AM
Kim C 08 Oct 03 - 01:51 PM
Rapparee 08 Oct 03 - 03:28 PM
Amos 09 Oct 03 - 12:42 PM
GUEST,Kim C no cookie 09 Oct 03 - 03:33 PM
Rapparee 09 Oct 03 - 05:45 PM
GUEST,Kim C no cookie 10 Oct 03 - 05:44 PM
Little Hawk 10 Oct 03 - 06:09 PM
Amos 10 Oct 03 - 06:43 PM
Little Hawk 10 Oct 03 - 07:14 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 03 - 07:23 PM
Amos 10 Oct 03 - 10:25 PM
Rapparee 11 Oct 03 - 09:02 AM
Amos 11 Oct 03 - 11:08 AM
Little Hawk 11 Oct 03 - 11:57 AM
Amos 11 Oct 03 - 01:29 PM
Rapparee 11 Oct 03 - 09:30 PM
Rapparee 12 Oct 03 - 12:48 PM
Little Hawk 12 Oct 03 - 01:04 PM
GUEST,freds 12 Oct 03 - 07:02 PM
Little Hawk 12 Oct 03 - 07:32 PM
Amos 12 Oct 03 - 08:36 PM
Rustic Rebel 12 Oct 03 - 09:44 PM
GUEST,freds: a message for Amos 12 Oct 03 - 09:54 PM
Amos 12 Oct 03 - 10:01 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 03 - 02:50 PM
Amos 13 Oct 03 - 03:10 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 03 - 05:07 PM
GUEST,Tweed 13 Oct 03 - 05:39 PM
GUEST,Kim C no cookie 13 Oct 03 - 05:45 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 03 - 07:16 PM
Amos 13 Oct 03 - 08:44 PM
Naemanson 13 Oct 03 - 09:05 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:



Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Oct 03 - 10:07 AM

Little Hawk:

Never mind. The strain is beginning to show on you and I will not be responsible for exacerbating things with multi-spasming metaphysics!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Oct 03 - 12:00 PM

A wise move, Amos. Besides, you've already upset me enough by suggesting that Shatner is second fiddle to Leslie Nielsen. I fail to understand how anyone could make such an outrageous assertion.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Oct 03 - 07:04 PM

And...I fail to grasp why this thread has fallen into a fallow period....BUT...I do not fail to believe that that may change!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 06 Oct 03 - 09:24 AM

We have attempted to be your friends, but your silly insistence upon xenophobia seems to preclude any sort of intelligent and amicable interaction. To mock your betters is considered not only dangerous, but extremely bad manners by the rest of Civilization.

Before effecting Finality upon you, however, we have taken one step which might raise your level of gentility such that you can take your place in the Galactic Scheme (albeit at a very low level as a Self-Endangered Species). Should you fail in this, we will be forced, with great reluctance, to Finalize your pitiful little solar system.

Oh, yes. Bee-Dubya-Ell, Bubba Bubba is no longer looking for you. Herit has decided -- and tests have confirmed -- that such intelligent and lovely little hatchlings could never have shared any of your genetic materials and that they are the result of autoendoparthenogenesis after all. To whatever dim level your awareness is capable, however, you should know that ither's male-male progenitor is searching for you -- something about "breaking my little herit's hearts" and "trifling with ither's affections." He-he is carrying a weapon he-he obtained on this planet which is capable of projecting multiple small, round, leaden balls by means of the rapid oxidation of nitrocellulose initiated by a sharp blow to a small container of mecury fulminate. He-he is also carrying a large "straight razor" and a "baseball bat."

Should you care to know, the hatchlings will be stewed tomorrow.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Oct 03 - 12:28 PM

Fail to grasp? How can that be? LH, the all-grasping? I fail to believe it!!

Whether it exists or not.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Oct 03 - 12:51 PM

Amos, you sarcastic bastard, we have a trash disposal device all prepared for you when you get around to visiting Orillia. It dices, it slices, it squooshes... :-) You can buy them at a 1-800 number on the shopping channel.

Freds - "Finality", is it? Oooooo...I am terrified, just terrified! If you go to a site called "Zetatalk" you will find that a woman named Nancy Lieder has already forecast Finality for our civilization anyway. It was scheduled for May 15th past. When it didn't happen on schedule Nancy adroitly re-scheduled it for an unknown date sometime in the next few years, more or less...depending on what does or doesn't happen. BUT...be assured that Finality has already been guaranteed by Nancy Lieder, which kind of upstages your feeble threats, doesn't it? Hmmmm??? Now just "push off", as the British say. There's no use threatening to finalize what is already due for certain finalization regardless!

Har!

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 06 Oct 03 - 02:58 PM

Listen, chaps. You don't know what you are in for if we Finalize you. But because of Bee-dubya-ell's emotional ties to one of ours, we'll provide a clue. One single little word, but this clue should scare the pantaloons off of you. One single word, and it applies equally to the "United States" and the "United Kingdom." One single word:

                         re-election


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Oct 03 - 03:20 PM

That sounds pretty bad -- you mean Gray Davis? Cuz if you mean Bush it just is NOT gonna happen.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Oct 03 - 04:21 PM

Ouch! Now I'm scared. This is no laughing matter, so I will not say "Har". At least Ontario had the good sense to kick the Conservative Party out of office last Thursday.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 06 Oct 03 - 10:25 PM

The plagues have already started. Two days ago we were swarmed by the Asian beatles. The sky was black with them and they fell upon us like bug rain. It's sure to be a sign from the freds.
Take back your damned little bugs. They are everywhere.
They are flying in my face around the light of the computer...
Oh shit I think I just swallowed one in my water...
I feel kind of funny now...
I can't seem to think clearly...
Oh the blastard ferds have reely don sumthin now...
i am certan this is a plot but ya no what? i really dont feel al l that bad, hmmmm maybe i will tri anodder one... come ere little buggy.....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 06 Oct 03 - 10:32 PM

oh, one moree thing before i get reely buzzed, little hawky- i think it must bee the librarian or the nancy lieder thats the harpy, most certainly    not the maiden aunt.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Kim C
Date: 07 Oct 03 - 11:19 AM

Okay, then, here's another one. Who else thinks it's funny when you go to a shop, and the clerk says, "Are you finding everything okay?"

What the hell does that mean, exactly?

Am I finding what I'm looking for? Maybe yes, maybe no, if I'm obviously wandering aimlessly about, then I'm probably not finding it.

Do I find the conditions in the establishment to be suitable? Hmm. Half the time I go into a department at a department store and there ain't anyone there to help me. Once when I was trying to pay for a hat, I went to three registers, to find No One. I went to Fine Jewelry and they said they could only ring up Fine Jewelry, but anyone else could help me. But I can't find anyone else, I said.

I surely didn't find that okay. But I did eventually get to pay for my hat.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Oct 03 - 12:04 PM

People are constantly saying things that don't actually make much sense, just to fill in the empty spaces. The empty spaces cause them to feel nervous. One thing that people say around here all the time that drives me NUTS is "How are you keeping?"

Keeping? Keeping what(?) is what I want to know. How am I keeping what? How does one keep something?

Well, what they actually mean when they say that is simply: "How are you?"

So they add one extra word which obfuscates the original meaning. It's inefficient and pointless and it bugs the hell out of me, but that's the way their parents said it, so that's the way they say it. I have no idea if it's a habit confined to Simcoe County, Ontario, Canada or if it has spread further.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Kim C
Date: 07 Oct 03 - 12:55 PM

I also hate it when people say "PIN number." What do you think the N in PIN stands for?!!!?!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Oct 03 - 01:09 PM

Great example. "SIN number" is another one of those (but only in Canada, where we have a Social Insurance Number, instead of a Social Security Number).

Mine is 593 873 530 985 AH

And if you believe that, I've got a bridge to sell you too...

- LH

p.s. When they ask you if you're finding everything okay, Kim, look around at the store critically and say, "No. It's all wrong. The colors on the walls clash horribly with most of the displays, and the floor doesn't look right either. I'd get some decorators in and redo the whole place if I were you."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Oct 03 - 06:22 PM

Kim:

"Keeping" is a passive verb as well as an active verb. It means to endure in a condition, or close to it. To be "keeping" well means to be doing all right, healthy and I suppose relatively happy. This useage is not widely used as it once was but it is still recognized.


O'course you could answer it with "not well, I'm afraid. Decomposing slowly. Rot, you know -- expect to die before the end of the century."


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Oct 03 - 06:52 PM

LOL! That's what I'll say next time, for sure. And I do expect to die before the end of this century too, so it would be quite an honest response.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 08 Oct 03 - 11:34 AM

Another one of those, Kim C, is the ATM machine. I've pointed this out to a few people, and they didn't know what ATM stood for.

Now I'm off to get some money out of the local Automatic Teller Machine machine.

Jenny


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Kim C
Date: 08 Oct 03 - 01:51 PM

Last evening I went to Office Depot to get some ink cartridges and I took a stroll through the software aisle, not really looking for anything in particular, just seeing what was there. A guy comes over to me and says, "What are we looking for?"

Hmm. I dunno. World peace? An end to hunger? A cure for cancer? Weapons of mass destruction? Pantyhose that stay up? Oh, no, wait, he wants to know if I'M looking for something here in the store. Sure, that must be it...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 03 - 03:28 PM

I was in the hospital, having had my left big toenail removed because of a chronic infection. The anesthesia had worn off and it bloody well hurt.

In walks an aide of some sort and cheerily chirped, "And how are WE feeling today?"

I was sixteen at the time and I told her. She didn't care for it; I guess I was supposed to chirp right back that I felt like dancing out of there.

Or at work (the totality of real conversations):

"Do you know what time it is?"
"Yes."

"Can you run this copier?"
"Sure."

"I'm looking for a good book." (I work in a public library.)
"Well, you'll probably find one here."

"I'm looking for a good book."
"Why? You read everything we've got or what?"

"Can you recommend a good book?"
"Yes, but it's checked out. ALL the good books are checked out. You don't read bad books, do you? Neither does anyone. So all the good ones are checked out."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Catching up with Freds
From: Amos
Date: 09 Oct 03 - 12:42 PM

The following sounds like it was invented by a Freds publicist who had gotten up on the worng sides of her/its beds, I suppose. But LO!! It comes from a web site owned and run by the Borg of all Hightech Companies, Lockheed Martin, whose very name is a mindmeld and against whom resistance is futile. Do a Google for "Gravity Probe B" if thou doubtest!

Enjoy:

"Gravity Probe B is the relativity gyroscope experiment being developed by NASA and Stanford University to test two extraordinary, unverified predictions of Albert Einstein's general theory of relativity.

The experiment will check, very precisely, tiny changes in the direction of spin of four gyroscopes contained in an Earth satellite orbiting at 400-mile altitude directly over the poles. So free are the gyroscopes from disturbance that they will provide an almost perfect space-time reference system. They will measure how space and time are warped by the presence of the Earth, and, more profoundly, how the Earth's rotation drags space-time around with it. These effects, though small for the Earth, have far-reaching implications for the nature of matter and the structure of the Universe. "





Well, there ya go..."far reaching implications" for the structure of the universe itself. If you're not hip to Dilbert-class jargon, it may escape you that this means "we will probably reorganize it soon!"

Just in case you thought all this science fiction eas fictional...

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie
Date: 09 Oct 03 - 03:33 PM

Wha?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 03 - 05:45 PM

Hot damn! NASA's gonna restructure the whole friggin' Universe! Sounds like a political thing to me.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie
Date: 10 Oct 03 - 05:44 PM

I wish NASA would spend some of my tax dollars on teleportation research, so I wouldn't have to sit in traffic no more.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Oct 03 - 06:09 PM

ANY more, Kim, ANY more! It is the use of unnecessary negatives that has people like you mired in traffic jams from here to Kokomo.

It's okay in folksongs, though. :-)

One more thought: your tax dollars would probably only provide funding sufficient to teleport a paper clip across the average office space. I'd just forget about the whole idea if I were you.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 03 - 06:43 PM

Little Hawk:

Just because you're Canadian does not mean you speak English any better than Kim. It just shows you're stuck in the nineteenth century! There are plenty of precedents for her construction. And let me point out that if you WERE her, you'd wish you didn't have to sit in traffic jams no more.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Oct 03 - 07:14 PM

Oh, YEAH??? Well, if my dog had body language like yours I'd send him to ballet school for a year and make him walk around with a paper bag over his head until he could pirouette flawlessly! So there, eh?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 03 - 07:23 PM

I've actually driven through Kokomo. Trust me: it IS a traffic jam.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 03 - 10:25 PM

Little Hawk!! Wake up!! You're not making any sense!! Come to!! Snap out of it, man!!!

LOL!


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 03 - 09:02 AM

But, Amos, *I* understand what LH said! Hmmm...perhaps I should be worried. After all, I'd wait until the dog could not only pirouette, but assume a good first position and do a decent jette.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 03 - 11:08 AM

Rapaire,

Librarians often fall into the belief that anything built out of the English alphabet is comprehensible if the morphemes and words are recognizable. It's an occupational hazard, like becoming hard-of-hearing for blasting operators.

I assure you, Little Hawk's assertions are non-sequitur, disjointed, and lacking in relevance or coherence. The relationship between paper bags and the heads of dogs and ballet, for example, which he pretends to thread together in a meaningful way. The only charitable thing to do is believe he is overworked.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Oct 03 - 11:57 AM

I am a bit under stress lately, because of mold and other matters.

But, Amos...."morphemes"??? Yikes! There's a fifty-dollar word if ever I've seen one. What does it mean?

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 03 - 01:29 PM

LH:

A term from linguistics. Just as a phoneme is the smallest unit of distinguishable sound, a morpheme is the smallest unit of distinguishable sound with meaning. In English, for example, "t'e" is a sound one can make (the sound of the letter t by itself) by has no meaning. "tu-" has meaning, just by adding the stretch into "oo" at the end. SIngle vowels with meaning, such as "I" and "a" are the smallest morphemes. Words are made up of morphemes which are made up of phonemes.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 03 - 09:30 PM

Amos -- if you can't tree 'em, what good are they? Certainly wouldn't be sensible.

Besides, I knew a guy who died from an overdose of morpheme. It's good medicine, but you gotta be careful with it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 03 - 12:48 PM

Holey Moley, I was post 1-2-3-4 and didn't even know it! Do I get a prize??


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Oct 03 - 01:04 PM

We should all get a prize. This is undoubtedly the longest running thread in Mudcat history, and possibly the stupidest too...although there's SERIOUS competition out there when it comes to that!

There is a dedicated central core of real major @$$holes who have kept this thread running all this time...me, Amos, Rapaire, Rustic Rebel, Bobert, and of course GUEST, freds, who is probably the biggest @$$hole in Galactic history.

I am proud to stand in such exalted company.

"Never in the field of human BS was so much inflicted upon so many by so few."

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 12 Oct 03 - 07:02 PM

We must impart sad, sad tidings.

Bubba Bubba (as you knew ither) is no more. Sheit has moved on to Another Plane. We think so, at least, as her passing was quite spectacular.

Were it not for the fact that she considered all of you to be friends, we would not tell you this. But even though your own Regime objects and feels that the knowledge of her passing is best disguised, we assure you that what we impart is the actual, unvarnished, unpainted Truth Of The Matter.

Bubba Bubba was, as we're certain you are aware, searching for a means to confront Bee-dubya-ell about his part in the creation of the hatchlings. To this end she had traveled from a point near what you call Redfield, South Dakota to where we had hidden our transport pod in the area around what you call Mount Rainer. Itshe managed to enter the pod by bypassing the cryptoguard and flung it skywards, ither anger apparently overriding herit's good sense. Itshe accelerated too quickly inside a gravitational field, and the result was photographed and posted to your Internet here.

As you can tell, your Regime has done a fairly poor job of coverup, but it will probably suffice. Our pity goes out not to Bubba Bubba, whose 4.5638 millenia were well lived, but to those who once lived in the now non-existent town of Seattle. The gravonic, photonic, and other radiations from the disintergration of the pod has obliterated all traces of the town and those who once lived there. Again, your Regime is perpetrating a coverup for fear of losing next year's Regime choice.

We are certain that Bubba Bubba would have apologized for ither actions, were sheit available to do so. We apologize for her, and assure you that the three hatchlings, Bee, Dubya, and Ell, are well and frisky after stewing. They are cute little things, and Ell (can you believe it?) ate a "Buick" just yesterday! Again, we offer apologies to the driver's survivors, but kids will be kids, won't they?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Oct 03 - 07:32 PM

Good gawd...

See what I mean? Nice picture, Freds. I think you have done us a favour in these politically correct times, providing the word "ither" (pronounced to rhyme with "whither" I assume) to replace the sexist words "his" and "her" and the awkward substitute "their". Very progressive.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 03 - 08:36 PM

It's not progressive from a freds view. They have been stuck, linguistically, with that ephemeral sexual ambiguity since their language crystallized 23, 345, 654.0933 years ago . This itshe shit is not advanced-- it is just indefinite, pusillanimous and vacuous -- you'd think a real civilization would have settled this gender issue long since!!

But not freds, noooooo!!! They're still flipflopping. Can't even decide which gender is which!! Call that advanced??

I spit.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 12 Oct 03 - 09:44 PM

I feel very privileged that you included me in on the major asshole list of the most major mudcat thread in history Little Hawk.
You seemed to have left out a few other assholes though.
Like King Kandu for starters. He started this mess got us on a roll and left us to our own feces. What kind of King is that? An Asshole King.
And how about the Tweedster? It seems to me he breezes in, gets on someones ass about some off the wall excrement and he's not on the list? I will now nominate Tweed.
Let me also nominate Bee-Dubya-ell. He has proven himself equal in all aspects of the word.
I also feel Kim is catching on very quickly, have no fear, dear. We certainly can not exclude you from the list.
And I have not forgotten the Queen of the Privy. Another example of abandonment from royalty.
Ah yes, Assholes one and all. United we stand, divided it would be a little harder to have a good bowel movement.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds: a message for Amos
Date: 12 Oct 03 - 09:54 PM

Amos, you shame yourself. We freds are quite linguistically complex; what you read here is simply what comes out of a translator, a quite good and quite sophisticated one. NOT like that ones those cheapshit bastards sold...oh, nevermind, nevermind.

Correctly, Bubba Bubba was a ÐązŊalact (there is no other way to enscribe this word in your feeble alphabets, so this near-phonetic spelling will have to do). As you may or may not be aware, these are often described as neuter-female, although they are of course actually neither. In reproduction, a ÐązŊalact will caress those creatures whose
DNA and other biochemistries are needed; this is considered by many to be the ultimate erotic experience (and if you have never experienced a twelveway, with kyleɚthʥ nuzzling you while everyone is warmed by the fur of the enfolding sloga, you have never experienced sexual happiness – or polymorph perversity, for that matter). Fortunately or unfortunately, depending upon your point of view, a ÐązŊalact must and will ensure conception by consuming the cranial matter of those it conjugates with. Naturally, the more complex and wide-ranging the DNA of the conjugates the more diverse the hatchlings.

The translator is set to translate ÐązŊalact as “ither” or “herit” and related words, reinforcing the neuter-female gender. Of course, when the Change Of Life comes and a ÐązŊalact modifies to neuter-neuter or female-female or female-male or male-male or neuter-male or one of the other, more esoteric genders, the translator modifies the words as appropriate (you can find any of the appropriate terms in any good dictionary, so we shan’t give them here).

Of course, this discussion does not include the dimensional aspects of our sexuality, such as what some on this planet might call multi-dimensional polygonal orgies. Should you wish to read up on this, we recommend the works of the noted scholar ʧʄalßþak.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 03 - 10:01 PM

Dear freds:

You underestimate me. I was quite aware of the polymorphous nature of your sexual appetites. Nor was I under any false impressions about the real nature of your BubbaBubba hubbahubba flubba.

I would like to say first that your description runs the risk of giving sexual happiness a bad name on this planet and I suggest that this is a VERYunwise thing to do. I can't think of anything MORE certain to jeapordize your success here.

Second of all I think your translator needs correction. It may be very good, but around her we spell that "she-it" combination with an extra "e" and pronounce it with a Southern drawl. And I know a "sheeit" when I see one.

Thanks,


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 02:50 PM

Does anyone else know Mike Callahan, Jake Stonebender, Doc Webster, and the rest of the folks?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 03:10 PM

Rapaire:

What folks? Freds have names?

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 05:07 PM

"Shared sorrow decreases. Shared joy increases. Thus do we refute Entropy."

Too bad, Amos. I guess you'll never know. Too bad, really.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 05:39 PM

Thank you Rustic Darlin' for nominating Lord Khandarz, Bee Dubya (THE KNOWER OF MORE THAN A COUPLE THINGS), Queen Carol the CrapperGirl and myself to the pantheon of Assholes who posted on this endless roll of single-ply butt wipe. Our group is truly full of bullshit, horseshit, mule shit, and buffalo chips. My only hope is that King Khardnagz, the BENEFICENT EMPEROR OF MISSISSIPPI is still free and running around loose somewhere and able to view his magnificent legacy! ;~)

Yerzervant az allus,
Tweed
Knight of the Realm of Tupelo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 05:45 PM

I was an English major and delight in regularly massacring proper grammar rules just out of meanness. But it's true what Amos said - lack of subject/verb agreement was very common in the 19th century in informal writings and conversation. It was regarded as Not Right, but people did it anyway. I don't have any problem at all with slang or dialects in informal settings.

What, me, an Asshole? Wow. A new honor. I don't think I've ever been called that before. Leastways not to my face... ;-)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 07:16 PM

Lordamercy, Tweed! Are you sayin' that Khandu might be in JAIL???


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 08:44 PM

I want a REAL answer to "What has become of Khandu?". I know this is the wrong place to ask for anything real, but I am desperate.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Naemanson
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 09:05 PM

I had to drop in to this thread to check its progress. 1250 posts! Amazing! Is there no end to it?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 13 December 4:06 AM EST

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.