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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 21 Apr 08 - 09:10 PM
Little Hawk 21 Apr 08 - 08:34 PM
Amos 21 Apr 08 - 08:14 PM
Amos 21 Apr 08 - 08:12 PM
Amos 21 Apr 08 - 08:09 PM
Rapparee 21 Apr 08 - 06:21 PM
Acme 21 Apr 08 - 06:17 PM
Amos 21 Apr 08 - 12:24 PM
Rapparee 21 Apr 08 - 11:13 AM
Acme 21 Apr 08 - 10:54 AM
Rapparee 21 Apr 08 - 08:49 AM
Rapparee 20 Apr 08 - 10:15 PM
Amos 20 Apr 08 - 06:46 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 08 - 06:35 PM
Acme 20 Apr 08 - 04:49 PM
MMario 20 Apr 08 - 04:18 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 08 - 03:17 PM
Amos 20 Apr 08 - 12:54 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 08 - 12:34 PM
Amos 20 Apr 08 - 12:31 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 08 - 11:38 AM
Acme 20 Apr 08 - 11:32 AM
Amos 20 Apr 08 - 11:21 AM
Amos 20 Apr 08 - 12:56 AM
Acme 20 Apr 08 - 12:51 AM
Rapparee 19 Apr 08 - 10:41 PM
Rapparee 19 Apr 08 - 09:22 PM
Amos 19 Apr 08 - 06:41 PM
Rapparee 19 Apr 08 - 06:28 PM
Rapparee 19 Apr 08 - 12:34 PM
Acme 19 Apr 08 - 12:03 PM
Amos 18 Apr 08 - 06:57 PM
Rapparee 18 Apr 08 - 06:49 PM
Acme 18 Apr 08 - 05:12 PM
Rapparee 18 Apr 08 - 04:16 PM
MMario 18 Apr 08 - 03:52 PM
Rapparee 18 Apr 08 - 03:49 PM
MMario 18 Apr 08 - 03:03 PM
Amos 18 Apr 08 - 02:39 PM
Amos 18 Apr 08 - 02:26 PM
Rapparee 18 Apr 08 - 12:30 PM
Amos 18 Apr 08 - 10:46 AM
Amos 18 Apr 08 - 09:43 AM
Rapparee 18 Apr 08 - 09:13 AM
Acme 18 Apr 08 - 12:00 AM
Amos 17 Apr 08 - 11:47 PM
Amos 17 Apr 08 - 11:46 PM
Rapparee 17 Apr 08 - 10:23 PM
Amos 17 Apr 08 - 06:22 PM
Rapparee 17 Apr 08 - 06:17 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 08 - 09:10 PM

And yippee ki yee yoo
Here's spinner 2-3-2-3-2!

Little Hawk...you have been listening to the psychologists who believe people can't read each other's minds.

That is pure nonsense.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Apr 08 - 08:34 PM

No one else can see what my flashlight shines on, Amos. Therefore only I find it useful. I can't see what your flashlight shines on. You can't see what mine shines on. The flashlight in your cartoon enabled BOTH people to see the room. That's the difference.

That's why I say, where is that flashlight when we need it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 08 - 08:14 PM

ANd here's 2-3-2-3-0!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 08 - 08:12 PM

And such sage stuffing no piece of cod has ever known.

Oh, BTW if you see Little Hawk tell him "You are the flashlight."

Boy's beginning to doubt his own triple-A's.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 08 - 08:09 PM

HAd I some such piece I would be the stuffing sage.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 08 - 06:21 PM

You can also buy codpieces, Amos. With or without stuffing. Or you can buy the ingredients and stuff it yourself -- I think you'd like a nice sage stuffing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Apr 08 - 06:17 PM

Why don't you send in your own male order, Amos? See what happens.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 08 - 12:24 PM

Stilly, would you see if you could get me one of those for my birthday? WIth or without garments as she prefers.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 08 - 11:13 AM

They've already got those. Where do you think their conceal their earnings?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Apr 08 - 10:54 AM

I thought you were going to suggest one of these.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 08 - 08:49 AM

I think that that's something every young lady would love to have. Even my nieces, who would also like one or two of these.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 10:15 PM

She's already a Myth. And she might well be wearing a bustier, thereby making her a Mythbustier already. But something like this might make a nice present for a birthday or something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 06:46 PM

Postgraduate Myth Debunking could be promising -- she could go to work for Mythbusters or Snopes...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 06:35 PM

Well, there's Ye Olde Burger Shoppe.... Or she might become a tavern wench. But beyond those I'd suggest a graduate degree or more in museology or a similar discipline.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 04:49 PM

I'm glad to see that she is putting her education to use. Now whether she can earn a living with this knowledge, that's something else. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 04:18 PM

Scarborough faire is early 1500's I think; Henry VIII
And she is correct. You will find that the COURT costumes of at least the cast - are correct.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 03:17 PM

You buy the single malt, I'll drink it, and you can drink the beer. Such a deal! A real win-win situation if ever there was one!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 12:54 PM

Rhyme, rhyme, rhyme. Is that all you ever talk about?

Oh, Oi'm afraid it's cleah
You kinda missed the whole idea.
People fah and neah
Say it makes them shed a teah
To see youah clinkered soul shown cleah
That talketh single-malt
And pisseth beah.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 12:34 PM

Shouldn't that be "Idear" to rhyme with "hear"? Or are you writing in Mainese?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 12:31 PM

What do the gods do -- laugh? Or scowl?
When from Olympus' heights they hear
The ringing challenge of a mortal man
Who has th'idea of WIll, but not Idea?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 11:38 AM

Well, if there is a reward for virtues for them that gottem, I got a whole trainload of reward coming! My (ahem) song (please note that it has been cleansed of gender-specificity):

MOAB dear! MOAB dear!
From far-off Idaho I heard your call.
And MOAB dear! MOAB dear!
And here am I to give my all.
I know in my soul what you expect of me,
And all that and more I shall be.

A child of dear old Mom should be invincible,
Suceed where a less fantastic person would fail.
Climb a wall no one else can climb,
Cleave a dragon in record time,
Swim a moat in a coat of heavy iron mail.
No matter the pain, s/he ought to be unwinceable,
Impossible deeds should be his/her daily fare.
But where in the world
Is there in the world
A person so *extraordinaire*?

C'est moi! C'est moi, I'm forced to admit.
'Tis I, I humbly reply.
That mortal who
These marvels can do,
C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tis I.
I've never lost
In battle or game;
I'm simply the best by far.
When swords are crossed
'Tis always the same:
One blow and au revoir!
C'est moi! C'est moi! So adm'rably fit!
A Idahoan Prometheus unbound.
And here I stand, with valour untold,
Exeption'ly brave, amazingly bold,
To serve at the MOAB Round!

The soul of a MOAB child should be a thing remarkable,
His heart and her mind as pure as morning dew.
With a will and a self-restraint
That's the envy of ev'ry saint
S/He could easily work a miracle or two.
To love and desire s/he ought to be unsparkable,
The ways of the flesh should offer no allure.
But where in the world
Is there in the world
A person so untouched and pure?
(C'est moi!)

C'est moi! C'est moi, I blush to disclose.
I'm far too noble to lie.
That child in whom
These qualities bloom,
C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tis I.
I've never strayed
From all I believe;
I'm blessed with an iron will.
Had I been made
The partner of Adam or Eve,
We'd be in Eden still.
C'est moi! C'est moi! The angels have chose
To fight their battles below,
And here I stand, as pure as a pray'r,
Incredibly clean, with virtue to spare,
The godliest person I know!
C'est moi!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 11:32 AM

I'll need to forward your ditties to Moonglow. :)

I slept late, sorry MOM. I was tired. Today more yard work, but I'm sure the boys will hover near their computers and keep you afloat!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 11:21 AM

Mom, oh, Mom, your left boot is ringing
Mom Oh, Mom!! Come on, and rise up singing
Don't spend another minute
Trolling near the bottom
THere's reward for virtues
That go to them as gottem
O, Moooom.....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 12:56 AM

Her skin was burned, and fuchsia her hair
Her chest was compressed 'til it climbed up to there,
Singing singing,
Your left boot is ringing.
Singing, singing,
Fold de dol dal day......



I am glad she had a good time, and at least she is using a framework of authentic information against which to critique the apparent world. This is a good start!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 12:51 AM

They returned home a little sunburned but otherwise had a good time. They enjoy looking at the costumes. Moonglow complains that some of the women are wearing the bodices of their dresses wrong--that for the period it should flatten the bosom, not push it up into a mountainous pair that ends right under your jawline. :)

This from the kid with fuschia hair. . . but she is minoring in costume design at the U of North Texas. I think she's enjoying herself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 08 - 10:41 PM

Are you going to Strawberry Faire?
Ringtone, vibrate, text me sometime....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 08 - 09:22 PM

My nieces like those rings that pop open and allow you to drop poison in someone's drink. They also like graceful, lady-like, stilettos and the type of pistol you carry in your garter.

My nieces are as whacked out as the rest of the family, except for me. I am quite sane and normal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 08 - 06:41 PM

The man can count, you gotta give him that.

In a Flowing gown, and Fuchsia hair,
We tripped our our way to Strawberry Faire
Singing, singing
Your left bpot is ringing!
Singing, singing
Fal-de-dal-dol-day....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 08 - 06:28 PM

Wow! I posted the last time at 12:34 p.m. Universal Mudcat Time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 08 - 12:34 PM

And a stiletto in the other boot?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Apr 08 - 12:03 PM

MOM! MOM! Did you see her? Moonglow came by with her boyfriend, they're on their way to Scarborough Fair in Waxahachie. And she turned her hair fuchsia again. I thought she'd grown through that phase, but she's back for a while. It looks good, but anyway, MOM, do you think women from 1400 or whenever this is set wore long dresses with all of that stuff AND had fuchsia hair? (And cell phones tucked discretely in their boots?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 06:57 PM

How Fonda New York can you get?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 06:49 PM

By April 1? An April Fool's joke, perhaps?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 05:12 PM

Leo, give us a link, please!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 04:16 PM

Don't remember the number, but it was the one at Fonda, NY.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 03:52 PM

Which lock, Rapaire?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 03:49 PM

Actually, Amos, the lock gates had been removed (not merely opened) because of too much water. The water inside the ship was what was supposed to be there (drinking, etc.). And I use the term "ship" correctly -- this was a 100-passenger job which spends its winters in the Caribbean, which draws a fathom of water.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 03:03 PM

hey Mom - did I ever mention that some of the gals out on the internet setup a Yahoo group devoted to *me*?!? Okay, maybe not to "me" per se, but to my knitting and knitting designs.

It was setup on the last of the year, but didn't "go public" until New Year's Day - and it had 500 members by April 1.

it's had about 175 more people sign up in the last two weeks or so.

it's got pictures and stuff.

Just thought you'd want to know one of your kids is surviving out in the "real world"

MMario


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 02:39 PM

JUes' six more posts,
And you'll break through
To twenty-three of Kay and two.
Hold fast the wheel, reef not the sail,
And keep your teeth hard on your tail;
Douse not the glims, eat not the chart,
But post and post again, with heart!
Staring and squinting into the gloom
That hides the future's darkened womb;
And when the weather's done
Welcome a rising sun
A cloud of white
A sea of blue
And the lazy haze
Of 23K and 2.

a.a. goinns


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 02:26 PM

Too much water, to a sailor, only applies when the water gets inside the ship. They deal with relative infinities of the stuff.

But in locks, it is a different matter; I assume "too much water" means that the main canal could not be entered because it was running too high to open the lock gates or some such problem.

The vessel, therefore, had to be left moored, not marooned, until the level came down.

It is possible that a frustrated passenger with inordinately long ears might have muttered "Wodda maroon" while disembarking, venting his annoyance at interrupting his planned voyage, but it would not be applied to the vessel's condition. More likely the bald-headed weatherman, who failed to predict weawwy high wawer.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 12:30 PM

Well, the ship couldn't go any further because of too much water. So it wasn't beached or caroomed or aground and it wasn't in drydock -- it was just tied up to the town dock, left alone with only the food and water and stuff she was carrying or could buy in town.

Marooned.

Or is there another word to describe the condition of a ship that can't continue the voyage because of too much water?

I've never lived the jolly life of a sailor on the rolling main, so I don't know all the technical terms.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 10:46 AM

As a matter of precise usage, I do not believe ships get marooned.

Except in the Coconut Island regions, where a peculiar local wood used in ship-building produces the strange side effect known as the Coconut Maroon. It's a s ort of reverse-vector nesting behaviour which causes the vessels to repel each other over distance.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 09:43 AM

I suggest you switch majors from to wit to to too.

It's risky to go into battle unarmed.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 09:13 AM

I, having a higher sense of correctness and humor, shall refrain from puns. They are below the lowest form of wit, and I care not a whit for low forms of humor. They contain indeed no evidence of wit, they are not even pointed, as is satire. One can truly say of puns that they cannot be wittled into any man's humor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 12:00 AM

Now for something completely different, get out your map of Missouri.























Because we all know that Missouri Loves Company!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 11:47 PM

It ain't often you get two strokes on the same awful pun!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 11:46 PM

That was the town that bloomed on the absinthe trade back in the 1880's. They had a plant at first, just behind the yarrow grove there, and the town gradually grew up behind the plant as it prospered, until all the trees were gone, replaced with stores and homes. They regretted it, because it had been a beautiful grove, but they just shrugged their shoulders and told each other, "Absinthe made the yarrow grove Fonda."


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 10:23 PM

I've been to Fonda, New York. The ship was marooned there because of high water in the Erie Canal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 06:22 PM

Yes, indeed. It was not New York that did you in, it was your map of New York.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 06:17 PM

So that's why my childish wonder, youthful innocence, and boyish grin were lost!


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