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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 07 Jan 05 - 09:49 AM
Acme 07 Jan 05 - 12:32 AM
Amos 06 Jan 05 - 06:24 PM
Rapparee 06 Jan 05 - 05:58 PM
Amos 06 Jan 05 - 05:33 PM
Acme 06 Jan 05 - 01:33 PM
Rapparee 06 Jan 05 - 01:25 PM
Amos 06 Jan 05 - 01:11 AM
Acme 05 Jan 05 - 10:13 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 05 - 10:09 PM
Amos 05 Jan 05 - 09:28 PM
Acme 05 Jan 05 - 07:01 PM
Tweed 05 Jan 05 - 05:45 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 05 - 05:19 PM
Acme 05 Jan 05 - 03:50 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 05 - 09:11 AM
Tweed 05 Jan 05 - 08:46 AM
Amos 05 Jan 05 - 07:53 AM
Amos 04 Jan 05 - 11:55 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 05 - 09:15 PM
Amos 04 Jan 05 - 08:45 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 05 - 08:35 AM
Amos 04 Jan 05 - 07:47 AM
Rustic Rebel 04 Jan 05 - 02:58 AM
Rapparee 03 Jan 05 - 08:58 PM
Rustic Rebel 03 Jan 05 - 08:26 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 05 - 08:18 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 05 - 06:02 PM
GUEST,Tweed 03 Jan 05 - 05:45 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 05 - 05:36 PM
GUEST,Tweed 03 Jan 05 - 05:30 PM
Rustic Rebel 03 Jan 05 - 05:25 PM
GUEST 03 Jan 05 - 04:39 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 05 - 04:38 PM
MMario 03 Jan 05 - 04:24 PM
GUEST,Tweed 03 Jan 05 - 04:15 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 05 - 02:56 PM
GUEST,Tweed 03 Jan 05 - 02:46 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 05 - 02:12 PM
GUEST,Tweed 03 Jan 05 - 02:04 PM
Acme 03 Jan 05 - 12:50 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 05 - 12:06 PM
MMario 03 Jan 05 - 11:47 AM
Bill D 03 Jan 05 - 11:40 AM
GUEST,Tweed 03 Jan 05 - 11:11 AM
Rapparee 03 Jan 05 - 10:23 AM
GUEST 03 Jan 05 - 09:10 AM
Amos 03 Jan 05 - 08:25 AM
Acme 03 Jan 05 - 01:46 AM
Amos 02 Jan 05 - 06:49 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 09:49 AM

Oh, now you have done it, SRS. You start handing out scores, people are gonna want prizes. Next thing you know you will swamped with flirtatious missives from every soi-disant bullmeister in town hoping for a piece of that ineffable admiration stuff. Jealousy in the halls of Bull. All night sweat sdessions dreaming up perfect score-getting posts. Aw, jeeze. No thanks. I couldn't stand the stress, and it would drive you crazy! Look what happened to Aine!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 12:32 AM

Amazing what the BS-meisters can make of even the slightest fluff around here! And Rapaire landed a perfect 10 with his Laura observation. (Is someone keeping score?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 06:24 PM

This also explains the results of the last election!! All those people were voting for different W's but punched the same button!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 05:58 PM

I understand that Laura can't tell between W, either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 05:33 PM

OK, I'm putting in for Workman's Comp. Obviously I havge lost key operating abilities due to long hours in front of a monitor, as I can no longer tell the perfectly obviosu difference between W, W, W, or the more distinct W.

I guess I should thank you for making me face up to it, SRS!!


LOL



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 01:33 PM

Ye of little BS--the thorn is the "th" not the "v" sound. So why are you pronouncing V like TH? Amos, it just came through that way, what can I say? Your W looked like a W instead of a W. I think you were leaning on the keyboard a little too hard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 01:25 PM

I usually pronounce it as a thorn. Thus "Wagner" becomes "Thagner" and "whisky" becomes "thisky" and "water" becomes "thater" and so forth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 01:11 AM

Now just a cotton-picking minutem, here. If I type "W" as in "Vagner" the same "W" appears as when I type "W" as in "Wilson Pickett". So it is irrefutably and ineluctably demonstrated thereby that the addition to the symbol "W" of a "Vuh" or a "Wuh" sound is in the eye of he/she who reads the pixel! As chief pixellee of the VAH-gnerian phonemes, SRS< you must cast out the Vee in your own eye.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 10:13 PM

Amos, that should be Wagnerian with a "V" sound, not Wagnerian with a "W" sound. The "W" sound came through with your typing. Pay attention to these details, please!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 10:09 PM

How about blues opera or Wagnerian guitar?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 09:28 PM

Wow...talk about BS, look at that poor woman with her head full of pictures!! That's being unduly influenced by quackery, not tidery, which is Tweed's Conehead Syndrome (TCS). TCS sufferers tend to be middle-aged with strong emotional lives, attached to emotional forms of expression such as blues guitar or Wagnerian opera. The condition was reported in the April 1, 2001 edition of Scalpel, the professional journal of the British Association of Ob. Gyn. and related Specialists, who practice their love of women across London.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 07:01 PM

Is it something like this?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 05:45 PM

I am in a semi-coned state at present. High tide was at 2:55 PM today. It is now 5:36 and the cone is receding somewhat as is it's habit when the seas go out and is completely normal to my way of thinking. I would think that the only way to describe the shape of my skull would be by using an animated .gif image. I must try to put something together soon.

And I wish to thank Rapaire for being kind enough to look upon this condition of mine with his usual objectivity and natural curiousity. Many would only point and laugh at something so out of the norm, not realizing the potential of such a gift.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 05:19 PM

Normal in this case means the shape of Tweed's head when it is not under the influence of the lunar tides; that is, as it is defined in the first paragraph of my post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 03:50 PM

hand waving at the back of the room, over near the window

First define normal, please? And why should this term be applied to Tweed?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 09:11 AM

Actually, Tweed, given your nominal place of residence the tug would be greater at the upper sides of your head, not at the top. One definition of several possible ones (and perhaps the simplest) would describe your head as a right triangle ABC with right angle at the base, A, and the vertex at C with the side BC rotated about the center line AC. Thus the vector applied to the side of your head by the gravitional influence of the moon would cause a "perfect dome" to be formed.

If the gravitational force caused a "perfect dome" by exerting a vector on the top of your head, your head would have had to be flat to begin with.

CLASS ASSIGNMENT: What is the normal shape of Tweed's head?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 08:46 AM

REGARDING TIDES AND THE MOON'S INFLUENCE ON THE HUMAN SKULL

The tides at a given place in the Earth's oceans occur about an hour later each day. Since the Moon passes overhead about an hour later each day, it was long suspected that the Moon was associated with tides. Newton's Law of Gravitation provided a quantitative understanding of that association.

Differential Forces
Consider a water molecule in the ocean. It is attracted gravitationally by the Earth, but it also experiences a much smaller gravitational attraction from the Moon (much smaller because the Moon is much further away and much less massive than the Earth). But this gravitational attraction of the Moon is not limited to the water molecules; in fact, the Moon exerts a gravitational force on every object on and in the Earth. Tides occur because the Earth is a body of finite extent and these forces are not uniform: some parts of the Earth are closer to the Moon than other parts, and since the gravitational force drops off as the inverse square distance, those parts experience a larger gravitational tug from the Moon than parts that are further away.


I hesitate to even make mention of this but....
I've noticed for some time now, that during certain times of the day the top of my head begins to rise towards the heavens and becomes a perfectly formed cone. Does this phenomenon occur to any other MOABS or is it unique to me alone?

Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 07:53 AM

Alas, I have placed a foot in a mouth, and neither of them mine, and thus let the Mother begin a decline. Let there be moaning at bar, and high seas at the channel mouth, and low seas ashore, that the MOABites may fear to stray from their mother. Let there be Trye BS in the home of the mother.

Just between us mothahs...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 11:55 PM

Lordy, Lordy, now we got us TWO high-falutin transcendees to hafta deal wit! This is almost too much, Olive!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 09:15 PM

Oh, I don't know, Amos. I have found the recent BS here to be somewhat mildly amusing, especially that of the being which calls itself "Tweed."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:45 PM

Little Hawk:

Tell ya what - when we want someone to put a superior-sounding, condescending and patronizing piece of tripe here n the MOAB we'll run right over and ask you for it, ok?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:35 AM

I see you people have been getting into some interesting stuff in the last few days. The hungry mind is most gratified by endlessly diddling on about inconsequential things and keeping itself amused while life slips by.... :-)

Better than usual for the MOABS, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 07:47 AM

"A brightrneess that measures the light...."

Ahh, that would be yer own loverly self, fer sure!! Sweetly said, as only a poet roper might!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 02:58 AM

It is a kindness that reaps a kindness. A love that is a deeply infected love. A brightness that measures the light, unto all those that breath the air of color, into their souls and finds itself a highlight unto it.

I will not repeat an unnecessary transpired surge of emotion unto thee,
but I will let you all know I'm still as horny as can be.


I will not falter as I speak Of all the things that have transpired as of the first of the year 2005. I know I am still a poet roper and will never change in that fact.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 08:58 PM

Benevolent to the worthy, remember?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 08:26 PM

Thank you very much Rapaire. I was just fine with my story. I didn't know who you were talking about so I looked up Guytrash. Now you have me thinking my imagination is a freak or was it that I inspired the dog from hell? I will never know for sure will I? Except that smile...
guytrash

Right back at you Tweed!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 08:18 PM

Well now, I thought I'd just pass on a tidbit about George W. Bush:

George Washington Bush (1790?-1863), an experienced frontiersman and successful farmer, was one of the wealthier pioneers to follow the Oregon Trail west. His father, of African descent, was said to be a sailor, and his mother was an Irish American servant. As a young man, Bush worked as a voyageur and trapper for fur trading companies, including the famed Hudson's Bay Company (HBC). During this time he traveled extensively in the Western plains and mountains, perhaps reaching Puget Sound.

By the 1830s, Bush had settled in Missouri and married Isabella (or Isabell) James (c. 1809-1866), a young German American woman with whom he had five sons (a sixth was born in the West). Bush farmed and raised cattle, and the family was well off. However, Missouri, a slave state, had passed racial exclusion laws, and Bush and his sons faced increasing bigotry and discrimination. In an effort to escape the discrimination, the Bushes joined the family of their friend Michael Simmons, a white Kentuckian, and three other white families related to the Simmons, to head west on the Oregon Trail. Bush's frontier experience made him a valuable addition to the party.

When the Simmons party reached the Columbia River in the fall of 1844, they found that the provisional government of Oregon Territory had enacted discriminatory laws, like those of Missouri, barring settlement by African Americans. Not wishing to separate from the Bush family, Simmons and the other members of the party decided to locate north of the Columbia, where American settlers and their provisional government had not yet extended their reach. The party spent the winter of 1844-45 on the Columbia, not far from Hudson's Bay Company's Fort Vancouver in present-day Clark County.


Want to know what happened? His claim was upheld by the US Congress, he farmed Bush Prairie until he died, and his son William O. Bush was a member of the first Washington State legislature. The Bushes were one of the wealthiest families in the Territory.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 06:02 PM

No, no, no! You got 5500, not 1! Khandu got 1, years and years and years and years and years ago.

But I got dibs on 5555!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 05:45 PM

No, it was named

#5500



I got one! I got one!! The day is complete.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 05:36 PM

RR, was the dog named Guytrash, by any chance?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 05:30 PM

My God, how I do love you Rustic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 05:25 PM

Perhaps the day was to be bright and blue, perhaps it was to be driving snow. Either way I know for certain it was a fog that remained in my brain that day, just like a dream.
I was playing a variant of a humoresque, combined with a aubade, which was to be the prelude to an intermezzo in a capriccio form on my harmonica on the first day of the year 2005, in the early hour of 6:00 AM.
I cannot say for certain if it was the music or the form of the music that lent itself to the following events that took place. I only can say I was changed and am not entirely the same person I once was.

I was sitting alone, upstairs. I was playing quite intense. You cannot play a cappriccio unless it is intense, in my opinion.
The room was dimly lit by three candles in the eastern windows. I was hitting a high crescendo and I heard a sound behind me. I turn around to look from where the sound was and standing, or rather lurking behind me was a strange dog of unusual proportions.
It's legs where long and lean, with small paws and it looked like it had 7 toes on each foot. It's body was short and fat like that of a bulldog and it's head was over-bearing and large. It was hard to believe it could balance itself. The face of the dog was huge and it was smiling and stood swaying to the music.
I didn't know this dog but it did not cast fear my way as I continued to play in a glissando fashion.
I was quite mesmerized at this animal. I would play allargando, the amimal would sway at a slower pace. I would play allegro and it would sway quite faster.
I thought I would really check this out and I began to play a divertimento. The dog got up on it's long thin back legs and started doing these short, jumpy little movements.

Believe me when I tell you this, it was hard to play my harmonica and not laugh at this point.
I started to play a berceuse and the dog started to cry. Quickly I went back into a rhapsody and soon the dog was smiling again.
I don't know why none of this phased me, or frightened me. It seemed such a natural thing, and I was as into it, as this strange dog-animal was. I couldn't stop.
I played for nearly an hour with this creature squatting , swaying, smiling and shaking and as the sun began to rise I went into a final requiem.
My mistake.
Suddenly, and without much warning the animal let out a howl that was more than deafening. The windows rattled to extreme. The candles went out as if a gale of wind blew through. I heard the people downstairs let out screams when they were awakened by the sound. I watched as the animal became a whirlwind of my sheet music. It rose in a fashion of a tornado.
That's when I stopped playing. And a sudden as I did, my sheet music settled to the floor.
I heard the people downstairs say something like "For what is real and what is aboriginal, cannot be fucked with".
I look down at my messed up sheet music and on the top of my windblown pages was one blank page containing the only evidence and proof that this all happened.
A single paw print from an animal with 7 toes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 04:39 PM

..or a Blues site after a cloth used to cover luggage and vintage amplifiers.
I agree Mmario. Completely absurd.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 04:38 PM

But the tree was named for the Chief!

It is written so on a copper tablet (which has disappeared during The War) that found in 1832 inside a mound along the Natchez Trace by the noted scholar William Harpe and translated by his brother, Joshua.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 04:24 PM

naming a city after a tree? About as probably as naming a website after a fish! Who'd believe it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 04:15 PM

Well here's an equally unbelievable story....

Incorporated as a city in 1870 and named after the native Tupelo gum tree, Tupelo's modern history can be traced to the convergence of the Mobile & Ohio and the Kansas City, Memphis & Birmingham railroads in 1887. As a rail distribution and manufacturing center, Tupelo achieved several firsts, including the first city in the nation to provide its citizens with dependable, inexpensive electric power through the Tennessee Valley Authority.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 02:56 PM

You completely forgot to mention, Tweed, the Battle of Tupelo, which was fought there during the Late Unpleasantness Between The States.

I (insert a modest cough here) have had the privilege of visiting, not only the battlefield upon which this engagement was fought, but Tupelo its very own self.

As for the truth about the story of Two Pillows, you can find this inscribed upon a Standing Stone at the tippy-top of the Priest's Mound at Cahokia (the one across the river from St. Louis, not one with the drag strip -- that's a couple hunnert miles north).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 02:46 PM

Named after the Mississipian chief "Two Pillows", who dwelt at Cahokia Mounds.

This is true, 'cause I haven't lied to you recently.


HOO!! That is TWO lies in a row and a shitload of BS, Rapaire! You are much to be commended for your efforts to keep the BS flowing like a fountain. I'd much rather hear a good lie than the truth anyday, and that is why I hang out on this thread.

Actually the name came from the days when the Underground Railroad was in operation. An ancient man, called Zacharias McFee, who operated a way station for escaping slaves and hid them in his root celler while they waited for transportation to the Tennessee line. He'd dug it himself on his 78th birthday and vowed to make it only as big as what he could dig in one day and consequently it could only hold a couple of people comfortably. When the wagoner would arrive at midnight he'd ask, "How many tonight Zack?" and Zacharias would reply, "There's two below."

Needless to say, the present day town of Tupelo grew up around this little shack and then Elvis was born and it's main industry is guided tours around the streets that Elvis' feet had touched at one time or other. There is much talk at the city hall about changing the name to either "Elvisville" or "Presley City" these days, I'm told.

And that is the true story of how Tupelo got it's name.

Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 02:12 PM

Named after the Mississipian chief "Two Pillows", who dwelt at Cahokia Mounds. The town was originally Two Pillows, but the folks living there slurred it together as "Twopillow" and one day the Daughters of the South, embarrassed by the sexual connotations of "two pillows", started pronouncing the name of the place as "TOO-puh-low." Then, by political chicanary, they got the Post Office to respell the town's name and the rest is history.

This is true, 'cause I haven't lied to you recently.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 02:04 PM

BillD, his Lordship, in his infinite infallability had deleted the entire guestbook at his Mississippi John Hurt Lyrics site and called upon me, the First and Only Duc d'Mizippi to gather his loyal subjects together and replenish the entries there. Howsomever, I spoke to Khandu the day after Christmas bidding him good cheer etc., when he related his latest tale of woe.

Somehow Khing Khandu managed to delete his entire computer!!! HAW HAW!! It would be so laughable if it were not so typical..!!

Anyhow, he is surely in the process of reloading his Windows disc that he lost and sent off for a new one and I should expect he will be back in the saddle soon, chastising me for trashing his absurd misadventures in public. He is so full of good bullshit, it is a shame that we must suffer here so during his self imposed exile.

I am never much surprised by any bizarre tale Khandu comes up with anymore, as he is the product of two centuries of nearly exclusive inbreeding and the cultural isolation that is indigenous to that area of the Kingdom and thus he is pure blooded BS, and much to be admired for his involuntary organ functions still working if for no other reason.

Yores,
Tweed
K.OBV.T.R.OBV.T. (that's pronounced two-pell-oh)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 12:50 PM

Tweed, you think that is unusual, you should read about the pre-Columbian Choctaw escatological practices, then this Mississippi witch won't sound so remarkable. Perhaps this woman was a bone picker, and her house was the platform.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 12:06 PM

If being so scared you're constipated is feeling alive, yeah.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 11:47 AM

well Bill - you KNOW that gub'mint processes is slower then heck! You're probably on some awards list somewhere - waiting for the official wax seal of approval or somthin'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 11:40 AM

where's the king? His Majesty 'almost' offered me a job back in May of '03...

"Bill D...your last post is glorious BS, perhaps you shall gain position in my Royal Command!"

...but I have seen no more offers..(except the capitalized sort) since.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 11:11 AM

But Rapaire, did you not feel more alive at that moment than you ever have since? Can there be anything more terrifyin than running for your life?
Or....coming face to face with


                              

The Yazoo Witch


Many years ago, there was a mean and ugly woman who lived alone in carefully guarded seclusion near the banks of the Yazoo River. Nobody knew anything about her, but they loathed her nonetheless. They hated her so much they didn't even give her a name. It was rumored that on stormy nights she would lure fisherman into her house, poison them with arsenic, and bury them on a densely wooded hill nearby...this was her hobby, but although many people suspected her of these evil diversions, no one was able to prove anything. Then one late afternoon in the autumn of 1884, a boy named Joe Bob Duggett was passing by her house on a raft when he heard a terrible, ungodly moan from one of the rooms. He tied his raft to a cypress branch, ran to the house, and looked through a window. What he saw chilled his blood and bones. Two dead men were stretched out on the floor of the parlor, and the old woman, wearing a black dress caked with filth and cockleburs, had turned her face up to the ceiling and was singing some dreadful incantations, waving her arms in demented circles all the while.

Joe Bob Duggett raced to his raft, floated into town, and told the sheriff and his men what he had seen. They got a horse and buggy and sped to the old woman's house...They smashed down the front door, but were unable to find either the dead men (who have never been found to this day) or the demented old woman. They climbed the stairs to the attic, opened the door an inch or two, and caught sight of several dozen half-starved cats, all bunched together and gyrating in their wild insanity. Two skeletons, which were never identified by the sheriff's office, dangled from a dusty rafter. Fish bones littered the floor, and the smell was unusually pungent. The sheriff, his deputies, and Joe Bob stood there transfixed, finally banging the door shut when eight or ten of the cats tried to get out....

More here:
Yazoo City, the Witches Grave


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 10:23 AM

Yeah, and picture yourself walking that levee with the Mississippi or the Yazoo or any other river running a 30 mph current on one side. Picture that levee shakin' like a bowl of jello as you walk on it, the sun just comin' up over a grove of trees and you see a boil on the dirtside side!

A boil! Water boiling up at the base of the levee! You wonder, is it a spring that the pressure of the river has brought into life or has the river found an old groundhog hole and this levee is gonna die? So you sit and watch, and if it starts runnin' clear you wipe the cold sweat off and keep walkin'. If it don't, and dirty water keeps boiling out, you get some help and some sandbags and start sandbaggin' around it. When it overflows the first circle of sandbags you start another one farther out, and all the time the boil's getting bigger and bigger.

Finally, one of the sandbaggers trips and a sandbag lands right in the middle of the boil hole! It's quiet for minute, and then all hell breaks loose.

The sandbag shoots fifty feet into the air and the water spout looks like Old Facefull geyser. And you've lost to the river, so you run away, 'cause that levee is startin' to crumble. Big clods of dirt from the levee itself are being swept away, and finally the top sinks in, just a little bit, and a trickle of water starts to eat away at the top.

By then, if you're lucky, you're either on high ground or better yet, watching it on TV with a beer in your hand. If you're not, you're runnin' like hell to someplace safe -- and that ain't a boat!

You'd be surprised how fast you can run when the levee is crumblin' behind you and a whole damned river is on your heels. Of course, you're sharing the raceway with the folks who were helping you sandbag, water moccasins, deer, foxes, rattlesnakes, and who knows what else. Don't bother about the fauna, 'cause they want to get out just as much as you do. Drownin' ain't their bag, either.

Finally, when you're halfway up Mt. Everest and you look back you can see the top of the levee snakin' through a brand-new lake. Barns and houses and cars and tractors and trucks can be seen, surrounded by water up to their roofs. Maybe some dead cows, horses, chickens, dogs and cats, too.

And you're just damned glad you're were you are and not where you might have been.

Been there, Tweed. Done that. REALLY don't particularily want to do it again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 09:10 AM

Now, mebbe Big Joe did P-Vine blues and switched a couple lines and called it his own, but P-Vine Blues is been around longer than Big Joe even. Charlie Patton did an earlier version of it, and I wouldn't be surprised if there weren't even earlier songs celebrating the Yazoo & Mississippi Valley Line.

A term such as `peavine' came to be known as general railroad slang for any winding branch line

The Yazoo & Mississippi Valley, also known as the Peavine, Railroad connected Grenada and Greenwood and led to the development of Holcomb. The original line, begun in 1885, ran 15 miles from Greenwood to Parsons. The Parsons station was built in 1886, making Parsons a major cotton shipping point. Grenada merchants, scenting lost business, were behind extension of the line to Grenada in 1900. Taking advantage of this line, Holcomb quickly became a shipping and ginning center. The line ran until 1947, when, on April 10, the Potococowa levee broke above Avalon and washed away a railroad bridge. The bridge was never replaced, and service ended.

Picture yoreself in the hot, still, Mississippi night...all is quiet til in the distance there is a "WOOOHH..WWWOOOOOOOOOOooo" coming at you, fire and smoke blowing outta the stack and sparks coming off the rails. Now wait til it slows at the bend and jump on board and suddenly you're on yore way to Greenwood and the next gig.

If your name is Charlie Patton you might write a song called Peavine Blues. If you're Howlin' Wolf you write Smokestack Lightning as you clatter on down the line.

"WOOOHH..WWWOOOOOOOOOOooo......"



...thought I heard,
thought I heard,
O, that Peavine whistle blow....

Tweed (born in wrong century)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 08:25 AM

think I heard the Pea Vine1 when it blowed
I think I heard the Pea Vine when it blowed
It blow just like my rider gettin' on board

Well, the levee sinkin', you know I, baby...
(spoken: Baby, you know I can't stay!)
The levee is sinkin', Lord, you know I cannot...
I'm goin' up the country, mama, in a few more days

Yes, you know it, she know it, she know you done done me wrong
Yes, you know it, you know it, you know you done done me wrong
Yes, you know it, you know it, you know you done done me wrong

Yes, I cried last night and I ain't gonna cry anymore
I cried last night an' I, I ain't gonna cry anymore
'Cause the good book tells us you've got to reap just what you sow

Stop your way o' livin' an' you won't...
(spoken: You won't have to cry no more, baby!)
Stop your way o' livin' an' you won't have to cry anymore
Stop your way o' livin' an' you won't have to cry anymore

I think I heard the Pea Vine when it blowed
I think I heard Pea Vine when it blowed
She blowed just like she wasn't gonna blow no more


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 01:46 AM

Tell us more, Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 05 - 06:49 PM

He also wrote the P-Vine Blues, Tweed-o. Didja tell Bobert??

A


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