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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

keberoxu 04 May 16 - 05:00 PM
Little Hawk 04 May 16 - 09:31 PM
Amos 05 May 16 - 01:18 AM
Rapparee 05 May 16 - 08:50 AM
Amos 05 May 16 - 02:37 PM
keberoxu 05 May 16 - 02:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 May 16 - 04:10 PM
Amos 05 May 16 - 08:39 PM
Amos 05 May 16 - 08:39 PM
Rapparee 05 May 16 - 09:56 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 May 16 - 11:00 PM
Acme 06 May 16 - 08:59 AM
gnu 06 May 16 - 03:07 PM
Rapparee 06 May 16 - 10:23 PM
Donuel 07 May 16 - 12:33 AM
Amos 07 May 16 - 01:57 AM
Acme 07 May 16 - 09:48 AM
Rapparee 07 May 16 - 11:32 AM
Rapparee 07 May 16 - 10:54 PM
Acme 08 May 16 - 12:07 PM
Little Hawk 08 May 16 - 12:21 PM
Acme 08 May 16 - 12:44 PM
Amos 08 May 16 - 02:21 PM
Little Hawk 08 May 16 - 06:30 PM
Rapparee 08 May 16 - 06:38 PM
Little Hawk 08 May 16 - 06:59 PM
Amos 08 May 16 - 07:42 PM
Little Hawk 08 May 16 - 08:02 PM
Acme 08 May 16 - 09:00 PM
Rapparee 08 May 16 - 09:10 PM
gnu 08 May 16 - 10:27 PM
Amos 09 May 16 - 12:58 AM
Rapparee 09 May 16 - 08:28 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 May 16 - 10:07 AM
Rapparee 09 May 16 - 10:14 PM
Amos 10 May 16 - 01:40 AM
Rapparee 10 May 16 - 08:25 AM
Amos 10 May 16 - 12:27 PM
Little Hawk 10 May 16 - 04:15 PM
Rapparee 10 May 16 - 11:17 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 May 16 - 10:45 AM
gnu 11 May 16 - 01:30 PM
Amos 11 May 16 - 04:46 PM
Amos 11 May 16 - 04:46 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 May 16 - 07:16 PM
Amos 11 May 16 - 08:39 PM
Rapparee 12 May 16 - 08:34 AM
Amos 12 May 16 - 09:09 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 May 16 - 06:38 PM
Rapparee 12 May 16 - 06:45 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 04 May 16 - 05:00 PM

Haven't heard about your mouth though, Rapparee....that nasty encounter with sugarcane...did you get that work done, and that satisfactory?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 May 16 - 09:31 PM

The answer is to become an imaginary character, enshrined in popular fiction, and then one lives forever!

Examples: Robin Hood, Batman, Sherlock Holmes, Chongo Chimp.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 16 - 01:18 AM

R's mouth is not on the list of body parts waiting to be reallocated. The senior Board of Medical Approvals left it off for sanitary reasons, and also because of the basic dynamics of supply (+1) and demand (- b67,345.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 16 - 08:50 AM

Yes, the damage done by sucking sugarcane is fixed. The dentist said that the bridge was covered by warranty, so I only had to pay for the initial exam. He also reinforced the new bridge with 1.5 inch rebar, which makes it hard to close my mouth when I eat or something. It wasn't a bad deal, but as usual my gag reflex cut in as the truck was pouring the concrete. Thanks for asking, K.

For you others -- I long ago cast off that mortal coil. Thus it is that when you want to play guitar or banjo and you think you hear extra notes it's because I'm pluckin' with ya. It is I who moves your car keys, I who empties the ink from from your pen and breaks off the point of your pencil. I bring the snow and cold in May and blight the flowers with frost in August. When you need two bags of flour and the store has only one, I took the other. Any inconvenience or annoyance, no matter how petty, c'est moi. BUT DON'T BLAME ME FOR THE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 16 - 02:37 PM

IS there anything illogical about Rapparree claiming extreme dental work in one paragraph, and claiming to have transcended into pure spiritual form in another paragraph in the same post? If both paragraphs are pure BS, is contradiction even possible? Does Macy's contradict Gimbel's?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 05 May 16 - 02:49 PM

You have a hard time closing your mouth?! Me, I would complain....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 May 16 - 04:10 PM

A truly transcendent entity would necessarily encompass all modes of being. He/she/it would have perfect teeth, need extensive dental work, and no longer need teeth at all, all at the same time. I know it's hard to wrap your head around, but it's far more comprehensible than the possibility of a Donald Trump presidency.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 16 - 08:39 PM

Geeze, it's nice to see BWL back in these sacred basement halls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 16 - 08:39 PM

Geeze, it's nice to see BWL back in these sacred basement halls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 16 - 09:56 PM

Amos Amos you're you're repeating repeating yourself yourself.

Existence carries within its definition nonexistence. President Trump carries within it non-President Trump. All things, all ideas, carry within them their opposite and all possible variations of themselves. Thus I am all things and no things, just as everyone is. "Ich bein Gott, und ich bein Gott nicht," as Freddy Nietzsche used to tell Bert Einstein after a few rounds; this caused a lot of laughter as Freddy had declared God dead. We used to agree with Freddy and then say, "Ja, gut nacht." German puns are somewhat convoluted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 May 16 - 11:00 PM

Nietzsche's statement, "Ich bein Gott, und ich bein Gott nicht," is almost always misinterpreted. He wasn't talking about "Gott", the German word for "God". He was talking about Gott brand ice chests and coolers (now made by Rubbermaid). He was simply confused as to whether he was a 48 quart Gott, or a similarly sized Igloo, Coleman, or Thermos. If he were still around today, he'd be even more confused since he'd also have to contend with the possibility of being a Yeti.

Exactly where Nietzsche's conviction that he might be an ice chest came from is a bit of a mystery. But if one must be an inanimate object it's good to be something useful, like a cooler, instead of something utterly useless, like a Chia Pet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 May 16 - 08:59 AM

Has anyone seen Gluon lately? Did she leave any technicolor messages you want to pass along?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 May 16 - 03:07 PM

So, like, Gluon could be Glunon too? Oh wow, man. Far out... or in... or both?

Bugs! Males. Big claws... 1.5 pounds each at $7 a pound. I got four. Happy Mother's Day. URP!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 16 - 10:23 PM

There are "technicolor messages" left all over my back yard!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 07 May 16 - 12:33 AM

Its $15/lb here.



Ode to a bull shit ufo tv show

Old Franz heard ufo signals
He heard it on his radio
The one that he had invented
People thought he flipped his wignal

The I that can't see itself thinks
wordless thoughts that flow down the sink
Waves murmur melodies of "we"
Sometimes it shares secrets with me.

The blind may hear more than most souls.
The wordless see more than you're told
Like a blurred smear of future past
Some see through time that ever lasts.

We have abilities unknown
To transmit though space you can't see
So stop making fun of Tesla
Everything you use he conceived.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 May 16 - 01:57 AM

Rapparee's entranced affection for dichotomistic thought is a sad testament to the Marxian influence in his conditioning. Dualism is a sad confession to the superiority of the merely physical universe,, surrendering sll rights and privileges to love, awareness, creativity and understanding which are the peculiar provinces of the higher domain` of knowing and seeing clearly.

The endless riprap of thesis and antithesis is a weak substitute for these higher powers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 May 16 - 09:48 AM

I think my Great Aunt had that. She was better after outpatient surgery.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 16 - 11:32 AM

Far better than monochromatic thought, or even dichromatic thought, Amos. My world view (Weltenscheiss, in German)is polychromatic, some say in the extreme...and we all know extremism in the defense of Weltenscheiss is no fault.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 16 - 10:54 PM

Marxian influence in my thinking, Amos? Harpo, Chico, Groucho, Gummo, or Zeppo? Henriette, Sophie, Hermann, Louise, Emilie, Karoline, or Moritz? Louis? Please be more specific.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 May 16 - 12:07 PM

Out through the sally port to the sally garden where the praties grow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 May 16 - 12:21 PM

Weltenscheiss is indeed the unstoppable wave of the future, and has been endorsed by the greatest thinkers of our time, luminaries such as Woody Allen, Karl Rove, Rachel Maddow, and Chongo Chimp. To have a full grasp of the length, breadth, and the extraordinary reach of Weltenscheiss, look no further than the writings of the esteemed Herr Doktor Liebenscheiss of Vienna...or those of our own dear, departed, and beloved Catspaw49, specially the latter's stories about Paw, Cletus, and the Reg Boys.

Weltenscheiss can be used to justify------anything! This accounts for its rising popularity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 May 16 - 12:44 PM

Isn't there a bird bath with a Little Pissant statue out beside the Legion Hovel?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 May 16 - 02:21 PM

So this is what I am talking about. In his haste to seem impressive, Rapp has offered the concept of "world fusion", one's view of the world, which in German is Weltenschweiss--note the second w". But what he has given us instead is Weltenscheiss, a word which means World of Shit, or perhaps Shit of the World. Perhaps, colloquially, it is the German equivalent of MOAB herself? The world is our mother, after all.

I think Herr Doktor Liebenscheiss would be fascinated by this seemingly unintentional slip of the keyboard, and that he would love to analyze Herr Rappenscheiss personally.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 May 16 - 06:30 PM

I think he should. We NEED a convincing explanation and justification for the weird phenomenon that is Rapparee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 16 - 06:38 PM

I did not make a spelling mistake.

As for my psychological makeup -- it's Mother's Day. My mother can tell you all about me if you will but ask her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 May 16 - 06:59 PM

World of Shit sounds like a pretty compelling philosophy to me...and one that has already accomplished a great deal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 May 16 - 07:42 PM

Ah. It was not a spelling error, but an intentional defamation of the entire planet and all those residing therein.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 May 16 - 08:02 PM

Correct! And this is why Chongo is seriously considering "culling" Rap "from the national herd" after he gets elected.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 May 16 - 09:00 PM

There's never a Galactic Overlord around when you need one to make everyone feel puny and as insignificant as a grain of sand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 16 - 09:10 PM

Oft am I castigated and psychologically flogged because of my expressed philosophical observations. Yet today I read

In all the years of research and struggle one truth has risen above all others: truth is your own, no-one else's. Keep this torch held high, and every path will be better lit for it.
There are many faces to truth according to some philosophers. But no. The truth only has one face, ultimately, and that face is the one you see in any true mirror.

AHJ


even though the author had earlier posted

Rapparee's entranced affection for dichotomistic thought is a sad testament to the Marxian influence in his conditioning. Dualism is a sad confession to the superiority of the merely physical universe,, surrendering sll rights and privileges to love, awareness, creativity and understanding which are the peculiar provinces of the higher domain` of knowing and seeing clearly.

The endless riprap of thesis and antithesis is a weak substitute for these higher powers.


One of these statements is false, possibly this one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 May 16 - 10:27 PM

Now I lay me down to sleep,
With a bag of peanuts at my feet.
If I should die before I wake,
Give them to my brother Jake.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 May 16 - 12:58 AM

Dear Rapp:

The differences between the two perspectives are legion, gargantuan, decisive, On tthe one hand, the commitment to the ultimate truth of individual consideration; on the other hand the abasement of it to the mechanisms of duality and apparent solidity. Choose one or the other--integrity or compromise`, the sacred sovereignty of the individual or the endless suppression of material dualism. By your choice, they will know you.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 16 - 08:28 AM

It's not either-or. That would require a duality for which I have been chided.

I greatly prefer a unity wherein the world knows beauty as beauty, ugliness arises; when it knows good as good, evil arises; and thus being and non-being produce each other. Difficult and easy bring about each other, long and short reveal each other, high and low support each other, music and voice harmonize each other, and front and back follow each other. Amos, you must attain the ultimate emptiness, hold on to the truest tranquility!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 May 16 - 10:07 AM

♩♪♫♬

Walk me out in the morning duality....

♩♪♫♬


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 16 - 10:14 PM

Naught but Bee-Dub and I hold fast to Mother MOAB! Those who care are but us two, but we shall be strong and fast! No surrender! MOAB abu!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 May 16 - 01:40 AM

Specious and jenune semantic flibberty-gibbetism. Even though true! :D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 16 - 08:25 AM

Yeah, the Tao Te Ching has a lot of truth in it, as do other, similar, writings.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 May 16 - 12:27 PM

Rapparree is a good and decent man, wide of wisdom and deep of knowledge, far-reaching in his ability to conjure thought with the snap of a metaphorical finger, rich in understanding. This is quite an accomplishment. To think he was once a Marxist plagiarist! Lo how the fallen are become mighty!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 May 16 - 04:15 PM

Just as Chongo Chimp, once arrested for minor gangland misdemeanors in New York when he was young and foolish, has later in life become a pillar of virtue, a brave defender of the law, an ape who is universally admired by women almost everywhere, and the one and only presidential candidate who strikes fear into the heart of Donald Trump!

Lo, how the fallen have become mighty! (As Amos said.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 16 - 11:17 PM

Amos, if you wish you may visit me and bathe yourself in my wisdom. If you are wise, however, you might only visit me.

As for Chongx Chimp, pimping your sister and mother to raise the money to sail on a tramp steamer carrying a load of black market bananas to Erie, Pennsylvania isn't usually considered a good background for a presidential candidate. Passing oneself off as a hard boiled private shamus when you only got experience as a gunsel in a scummy howler monkey drum (even if it is owned by an uncle) or as a cinder dick for the Algoma Central don't make you a high pillow. And don't jump the track or go all ing-bing or I'll give you a pill you don't have to swallow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 May 16 - 10:45 AM

Hi, Mom!

When Captain Beefheart remarked, on the album Trout Mask Replica, "A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous," did he mean that the squid is fast and bulbous or that the entire Gestalt of the squid, the dough, and the polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous? Would it still be fast and bulbous if the squid were eating Cream of Wheat? What if the bag were made of Mylar instead of polyethylene? And what of the tin teardrop?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 May 16 - 01:30 PM

I'll have what he's havin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 May 16 - 04:46 PM

I'd sooner bathe in a Syrian sewerline, I think. At least no one would be pretending it was champagne.

Fast and bulbous was the night
And dim and fleeting was the light,
The night O'Leary flipped his top
And drove through Texas, would not stop

For flashing lights or boring signs
Pursued by devils in his mind.!
Through Dallas, Arlington he ran
Down into Austin, where the Man

Pursued him with a fleet of cars
Past houses, coffee shops and bars.
Into the long dark Texas night
He madly drove, intent on flight.

He headed south at awful speed
Pursued by lawmen for his deeds.
He sped straight down to San Antone
Ignoring wind and siren moan,

And flashing lights on cars official!
His state of mind was something special.
His speedo smoked! His tires whined!
He half-erased the yellow line!

Ignoring law, and sense of right
He crossed the long, dark, Texas night.
Toward Corpus Christi then he fled
His brain aflame, his eyeballs red,

Then, bearing right as he ate up ground,
He set his sights on Brownsville town.
But as he rolled through Brownsville, he
Perceived the wide and lapping sea,

And hurtled leftward with a smile
Aiming toward South Padre Isle.
The evening sky was all aglow,
His tires smoked, his fuel was low,

His hair blew madly 'round his head
When he finally saw the beach ahead.
He was doing ninety in a fifty zone!
He knew that he was not alone!

Behind him shimmering in the air
Were city cops, and ten state bears,
Their sirens screaming in pursuit
To give O'Leary's ass the boot!

The smell of ozone, tide and damp
Came through the windows, and the lamp
Blinking and calling through the night
Beckoned from Padre Island light.

The time was short, the bears were near,
When quickly up the berm he steered,
INto the air, past factories facing
Onto the old Goose Island Basin

And knowing then he'd done enough
Gave himself over to the Gulf.
Gave up control of his wild Camaro,
And yielded him up to death and sorrow.

Now, shells, and cold dark waters weary
Mark the remains of poor O'Leary.
His fancy car subsides to rust
His dreams now gone, his bones now dust.

He leaves a heart-broke Mom and Pappy;
But at least he made the fishes happy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 May 16 - 04:46 PM

I'd sooner bathe in a Syrian sewerline, I think. At least no one would be pretending it was champagne.

Fast and bulbous was the night
And dim and fleeting was the light,
The night O'Leary flipped his top
And drove through Texas, would not stop

For flashing lights or boring signs
Pursued by devils in his mind.!
Through Dallas, Arlington he ran
Down into Austin, where the Man

Pursued him with a fleet of cars
Past houses, coffee shops and bars.
Into the long dark Texas night
He madly drove, intent on flight.

He headed south at awful speed
Pursued by lawmen for his deeds.
He sped straight down to San Antone
Ignoring wind and siren moan,

And flashing lights on cars official!
His state of mind was something special.
His speedo smoked! His tires whined!
He half-erased the yellow line!

Ignoring law, and sense of right
He crossed the long, dark, Texas night.
Toward Corpus Christi then he fled
His brain aflame, his eyeballs red,

Then, bearing right as he ate up ground,
He set his sights on Brownsville town.
But as he rolled through Brownsville, he
Perceived the wide and lapping sea,

And hurtled leftward with a smile
Aiming toward South Padre Isle.
The evening sky was all aglow,
His tires smoked, his fuel was low,

His hair blew madly 'round his head
When he finally saw the beach ahead.
He was doing ninety in a fifty zone!
He knew that he was not alone!

Behind him shimmering in the air
Were city cops, and ten state bears,
Their sirens screaming in pursuit
To give O'Leary's ass the boot!

The smell of ozone, tide and damp
Came through the windows, and the lamp
Blinking and calling through the night
Beckoned from Padre Island light.

The time was short, the bears were near,
When quickly up the berm he steered,
INto the air, past factories facing
Onto the old Goose Island Basin

And knowing then he'd done enough
Gave himself over to the Gulf.
Gave up control of his wild Camaro,
And yielded him up to death and sorrow.

Now, shells, and cold dark waters weary
Mark the remains of poor O'Leary.
His fancy car subsides to rust
His dreams now gone, his bones now dust.

He leaves a heart-broke Mom and Pappy;
But at least he made the fishes happy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 May 16 - 07:16 PM

Mom! I do not have a plinth! I just realized as much! I have more fishing rods, musical instruments, firearms, and tools than I really need, but not a single plinth! Something must be done to remedy this oversight! Is there a store called "Plinths R Us"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 May 16 - 08:39 PM

I dunno, BeeDub==plinths are pretty basic. Maybe you should contact a support group?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 16 - 08:34 AM

It's okay, Bee-Dub. I don't have a volute. If you have one and are willing to swap, I have an architrave and a plinth but the plinth is kinda chipped in a couple of places where...never mind, it's a story full of irrelevancies. I've just had the plinth tuned up, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 May 16 - 09:09 AM

Epic Homeric poetry ignored in favor of quotidien architectural cockamamie. I swan!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 May 16 - 06:38 PM

A young lady called Hyacinth
Was lost in a huge labyrinth
'Til she happened to find
A directional sign
On a pillar atop a stone plinth


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 16 - 06:45 PM

By definition epic poetry deals with heroic, sweeping, themes such as Cuchulain's defense of Ulster, the siege and destruction of Troy, or the Nibelunglied. I will grant that the eight year attempt by Diarmid O'Leary to take over Aer Lingus has sweep in time, but hardly in subject. Translating the story of Da Dearga's hostel also may be considered a subject worthy of a hero, but again it is hardly has the sweep and grandeur of, say, "Eirķks saga rauša" or "Gr?nlendinga saga".

As for your humble poem, it is quite nice.


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