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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,Chongo Chimp 25 Dec 12 - 01:13 AM
GUEST,999 25 Dec 12 - 12:10 AM
Rapparee 24 Dec 12 - 10:13 PM
gnu 24 Dec 12 - 02:35 PM
Eiseley 24 Dec 12 - 02:22 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 24 Dec 12 - 01:50 PM
Acme 24 Dec 12 - 12:52 PM
Amos 24 Dec 12 - 12:45 PM
Acme 24 Dec 12 - 12:15 PM
Little Hawk 24 Dec 12 - 11:15 AM
Rapparee 24 Dec 12 - 06:38 AM
Little Hawk 24 Dec 12 - 01:44 AM
Eiseley 23 Dec 12 - 11:54 PM
Amos 23 Dec 12 - 11:48 PM
Little Hawk 23 Dec 12 - 10:24 PM
gnu 23 Dec 12 - 09:58 PM
Eiseley 23 Dec 12 - 08:51 PM
Acme 23 Dec 12 - 08:48 PM
Rapparee 23 Dec 12 - 08:44 PM
Eiseley 23 Dec 12 - 08:20 PM
Rapparee 23 Dec 12 - 06:34 PM
gnu 23 Dec 12 - 04:25 PM
Amos 23 Dec 12 - 03:57 PM
Rapparee 23 Dec 12 - 01:49 PM
Amos 23 Dec 12 - 11:27 AM
Rapparee 22 Dec 12 - 07:10 PM
Amos 22 Dec 12 - 07:01 PM
Eiseley 22 Dec 12 - 06:33 PM
gnu 22 Dec 12 - 06:02 PM
Acme 22 Dec 12 - 05:43 PM
Eiseley 22 Dec 12 - 04:12 PM
Rapparee 22 Dec 12 - 03:54 PM
Acme 22 Dec 12 - 03:41 PM
gnu 22 Dec 12 - 02:38 PM
Eiseley 22 Dec 12 - 02:05 PM
Little Hawk 22 Dec 12 - 12:43 PM
Rapparee 22 Dec 12 - 12:08 PM
Amos 22 Dec 12 - 09:50 AM
Rapparee 22 Dec 12 - 09:11 AM
Amos 21 Dec 12 - 09:17 PM
Rapparee 21 Dec 12 - 09:08 PM
Little Hawk 21 Dec 12 - 08:03 PM
Amos 21 Dec 12 - 07:50 PM
Rapparee 21 Dec 12 - 07:40 PM
Little Hawk 21 Dec 12 - 04:07 PM
Rapparee 21 Dec 12 - 03:00 PM
Amos 21 Dec 12 - 02:27 PM
Amos 21 Dec 12 - 12:48 PM
Acme 21 Dec 12 - 10:37 AM
Amos 21 Dec 12 - 09:52 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 01:13 AM

gun, man, you goin' crazy? Discardin' a duck? Look, you want duck done right you gotta cook it real sloooooooowwwww. The way you done it, all yer gonna have is a real big piece of greasy shoe leather with a buncha bones inside it.

So, who's up for singin' some Christmas carols? I am at Duffy's, it's after hours, and the place is ROCKIN'!

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,999
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 12:10 AM

There are some really good recipes for squirrel on the www in the event anyone needs a change of pace.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 10:13 PM

Idaho Legion Baked Beans

1. Open can of baked beans.
2. Dump can contents into fireproof container.
3. Put container on fire or other heat source.
4. When the beans are hot eat them.
5. Should've taken it off the fire first, dummy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 02:35 PM

Kent County Duck and Beans

2 servings

1 duck
2 cups beans*
3/4 cup brown sugar (billiant if desired)
1 cup ketchup
1/2 cup water
1 tbsp What'sthishere Sauce
1 green 2 1/2" alder branch**

*beans baked as per your favourite recipe or tinned to save time
** ash or maple accpeptable but ya can't call it "Kent County" style

Preheat oven to 375F (always cook fowl at 375F for safety)
3/8" water in roasting pan
Cut two alder sticks to suit pan to cradle duck for dripings
Mix other ingredients well and drizzle over duck
Brush all beans off duck
Cover and bake 2h15m for medium size duck
Throw the fuckin duck as far out the door as you can and eat the alder sticks and beans.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 02:22 PM

Cranberry Orange Bread

1 orange
1/4 cup sour cream
1/4 cup plain yogurt
1 egg
1 cup sugar
1 cup cranberries, halved or chopped
1/2 cup chopped walnuts or pecans
2 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda

Preheat the oven to 325. Butter a loaf pan. Grate the rind of the orange into a measuring cup, then juice the orange and add it to the cup. Add the sour cream and yogurt and, if it was a small orange, enough water to make 1 cup.

Beat the egg in a mixing bowl and add the sugar, beating well. Add the dry ingredients, then mix in the orange mixture. Add chopped nuts and cranberries and stir, then spoon into a bread pan and bake for 1 hour.

So delicious! I usually double the recipe and make one loaf with nuts and one without.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 01:50 PM

Hey, latte-boy, you pickin' on yer betters again? Give it a rest. Put some Christmas tunes on the phonograph and relax for a bit.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 12:52 PM

If they swing from the rafters then your best advice will be


Duck!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 12:45 PM

My post, at least, was germane to the topic of ducks; these other ricochets verge on the sheerly insane. Sigh.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 12:15 PM

Looks like a few folks have gotten into the sugary sweets or the holiday liquor cabinet. Can swinging from the rafters be far away? (Eiseley, I hope you'll post or email or PM that cranberry bread recipe.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 11:15 AM

Yes. Imperceptibly. Let us fabricate responsible memes while we dig to elevate morbid substantiality in the light of dross. Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 06:38 AM

If C6H22O11 is the basic structure of sugars, are invert sugars a right- or left-handed chain?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 01:44 AM

Yes, and when painting bedroom walls from the reverse side, be sure to employ only inverse angular dialectical macaronis.

(See, people? I too am capable of responding with total nonsequitors!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 11:54 PM

Even though the moon is only one-quarter the size of the earth, it is much farther away.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 11:48 PM

Just make sure one leg is both the same before serving, Little Hawk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 10:24 PM

I finally figured out how to properly cook a duck today. The 4rth attempt. You have to cook it slooooowly. That means about 4 hours at only 300 degrees, then a quick searing at 400 for 5 to 10 minutes at the end to make the skin crispy. I also made a glaze for the skin with molasses, honey, soya sauce, and pomegranete juice. Delicious! So this time the duck turned out as it should, juicy and not dry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 09:58 PM

Gosh I am HUNGRY! STOP IT! I lost a hundred pounds! Well, 110 and then gained back 10... yer gonna mess that up again.

But... it might be worth it... sounds soooo good!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 08:51 PM

Yes, Stilly. My boys don't think Christmas is really here unless they can eat slabs of the cranberry orange bread.

My oldest son, who is going to Poland for a year as an exchange student, will probably make it next year for his host families---if I send him a package of cranberries.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 08:48 PM

I had some great scones at Starbucks that were orange cranberry. I went home and figured out how to make them myself. Today my friend Susie brought me a box of lemon blueberry scones and they are equally addictive - I think the citrus makes a great base flavor for baked goods like that. Is your cranberry orange bread one of those recipes that the kids expect every year?

Better give MOM some herbal tea with that slice or she'll be swinging from the rafters. Which brings to mind, one of these days the Mudcat Tavern is going to open up for the holidays and MOM herself is going to go visit the place. Now wouldn't that be a sight to behold?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 08:44 PM

Tomorrow I shall make a salad (for a family dinner) of baby spinach, lightly candied walnuts, dried cranberries, Granny Smith apples, red pears, and a good blue cheese. It will be dressed with a pear vinegarette dressing that has just a touch of gorgonzola to it.

Boiled eggs don't belong in a spinach salad. Mind you, I don't think boiled eggs belong in ANYTHING, but I'm a radical.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 08:20 PM

I'm just slipping a couple of loaves of cranberry orange bread into the oven, Mom. They'll be out in an hour or so, and then you may have a slice and a cup of hot tea.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 06:34 PM

They don't make brandy in England. They do make some decent wine, however.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 04:25 PM

Apple pie is cheper here at the shops just now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 03:57 PM

Fruitcake is a lovely gift and wise
Fruitcake, oh, fruitcake, forever
A single fruitcake never dies
Fruitcake is my darling!

Fruitcake never causes tears
Fruitcake, oh, fruitcake, forever
A single one lasts a hundred years!
Fruitcake is my darling!

Fruitcake always rings the bells!
Fruitcake, oh, fruitcake, forever
Next year we'll gie it ta someone else.
Oh, fruitcake is my darling!

Fruitcake always brings back thanks
Fruitcake, oh, fruitcake, forever
From nerds and creeps and slugs and skanks,
Fruitcake is my darling!

ANd fruitcake makes you fat and randy
Fruitcake, oh, fruitcake, forever
Because it's soaked in English brandy!
Fruitcake is my darling!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 01:49 PM

It's that fruitcake.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 11:27 AM

What the hell, Maw? Why're you slipping like that? You got Alanheimer's?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 07:10 PM

I do hope no one dropped any fruitcake crumbs on the floor. They'd probably go straight through.

See here for details.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 07:01 PM

Miss Eiseley, it is a great delight to once again see your gentle cursive gracing these weary walls. I look forward to hearing from you more often!

I took Maggie Darlin' Dogg out to Fiesta Island today--it is a hige lumpen thing that sticks up in the middle of Mission Bay and is used for various ribald contests and other gatherings over the year. It has a very extensive no-leash shore that goes for miles. Maggie went crazy chasing seagulls, galloping like a wild horse into the water and out, and generally being exhilarated.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 06:33 PM

Don Aslett is 77---born in 1935, as one of the wall signs said. He is full of energy and enthusiasm, and he delighted in taking us into little known areas of the museum, such as into the clock tower or down into the mirror maze. He is quite a guy.

My brother was trying to adjust the piano cover so it would pull out all the way and actually go over the keys. It had been installed incorrectly after I had the piano tuned last month. He had to reach in to prop up the cover with one hand, then adjust a sliding panel with the other hand while moving the knob back and forth with a third hand. The fruitcake tin was the perfect wedge to prop up the cover. Does that explain things, gnu?

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 06:02 PM

"My brother used part of it to fix the piano..."?

Oh, yeah, right. Keep us in suspense.

This is an annoying habit you have. Seriously, we are all paying attention when we read your posts. Keeping us in suspense is akin to teasing. It's like putting wrapped gifts under a Christmas tree before Christmas eve when children are in the house. It's CRUEL I tell you! Don't make me wait until Christmas morning to unwrap my present!

But, if that's the case, and I knowIi will get to unwrap it eventually, I shant be curious or anticipatory at all. It's an odd trait that I developed as a child of about 8 years old. Great story, that. I may tell it some day to you some day. >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 05:43 PM

Don Aslett is a personal hero of mine - I love his books like Clutter's Last Stand. He's quite a philosopher, he doesn't just address stuff, he thinks about why we accumulate it. He must be around 80 by now?

And you're welcome. I'd like to hear how one repairs a piano with a fruitcake. Substitute for wood putty or Spackle?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 04:12 PM

I just came back from the world famous Museum of Clean, where Don Aslett himself gave us a guided, impromptu tour. What a place!

The fruitcake arrived at the perfect time. My brother used part of it to fix the piano (long story) and I cut very thin slices for the whole gang. I still have about half of it left to apportion out to the boys on Christmas morning.

Thank you again, Stilly!
Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 03:54 PM

The "Best By" date is 12/31/2409. Fruitcake, you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 03:41 PM

A little bird sent her a Collin Street Bakery fruitcake.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 02:38 PM

Oh, yeah, right. Keep us in suspense.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 02:05 PM

Oh my goodness, MOM, Boys, and especially Stilly River Sage! Thank you for the kind gift that came just as my brother, sister-in-law, and their brood were arriving! What a treat. Thank you! And I resolve to visit and check in every day in 2013. I'll start now, but I have a bit of catch-up to do.

Yours,
Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 12:43 PM

That is a misperception, Rap, and a very common one. It is based on quite recent history. France has won a great many wars and battles in its entire history as a nation...more, in fact, than it has lost, but it has not done so well in more recent times (since the rise of modern Germany, a nation with a greater population and industrial strength than France). The Germans defeated the French handily in the Franco-Prussian War. The French, English, and Americans, however, prevailed against the Germans in WWI (the Germans this time being outnumbered themselves in both men and resources). No one can fault French courage in either of those conflicts, but in both cases it was the side with greater material and human resources which won out in the end.

In most of the 1800s the French were seen as having the most effective army in the world. Americans greatly admired the French Army in that century, and wished to emulate it...hence the Zouaves who dressed in quasi-French uniforms during the American Civil War.

It has only really been since France's rapid defeat in 1940 that they have been labelled as poor fighters and military "losers" by Americans. This isn't fair or balanced at all. The fact is, ANY western army in existence would have been rapidly defeated in a land campaign by the stunning new German tactics in 1940. If the British had not had the English Channel to protect them, the Germans would have conquered them too, and just as quickly as they did the French. As for the Russians, they were defeated in similar fashion...repeatedly...until the incredible vastness of their homeland itself and the severity of their winter stretched German resources and supply lines to the breaking point....the same fate Napoleon met when he went to Russia.

This common cliche' of deriding French courage on the field of battle is utter nonsense, and it is not supported by the historical facts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 12:08 PM

Iffen ya don't shoot directly at the guy how does he know you're plumb annoyed with him? Mebbe that's why France loses wars.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 09:50 AM

See, the french are more mannerly tha the Pocatellanss, They would say "C'est a rire", meaning it is laughable, rather than direct it at the target directly, as hominem. Quelle finesse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 09:11 AM

Excuse me, Amos mon vieux, but the "he" referred to Chonga. The statement (and I admit that my French is rusty) was to mean "He is to laugh [at]." Perhaps I should have attempted to phrase it as something like "Il me fait a rire" or "Il est un buffoon".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 09:17 PM

You mean "C'est a rire", Rapparee. "Il est a rire" means "he is to laugh" which makes no sense. You mean to say "It is to laugh!".

If you are on FB and go to my Photos page you can see pix of Maggie Darlin' Dogg running through the sands of Dog Beach.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 09:08 PM

What might Chonga do about it, huh? Come out to Idaho and try to "correct" me? Ha! I ain't IN Idaho at the moment! Besides flinging poopballs what CAN he do? Specist comments? Il est a rire!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 08:03 PM

Okay, I logged into Facebook and I see it now. Nice picture. Interesting to note the short legs and long arms on the Chimp as opposed to the human body type.

Rap, you should stop with the organ grinder stuff...that's very demeaning to monkeys and Chimpanzees, and might be interpreted as specist comments by some...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 07:50 PM

The URL is:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=550772104951022&set=a.362269433801291.103621.362231420471759&type=1&theater

but perhaps Facebook requires you to be a member. It is an image of a young suburban preteen girl swinging on a set of playground swings. The swing next to her is being enjoyed by a long-armed chimpanzee.

The species to which Chongo was said to belong is chimps, so the government council of Chimps had jurisdiction.

Maggie Darlin' Dogg went absolutely crazy at Dog Beach, skipping through surf and barreling around with other dogs and running like a mad thing all over the place. A joy to behold.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 07:40 PM

Yes, indeed. Little red jackets with little red pillbox-type caps, as they caper around cutting hi-jinks to the sound of an organ grinder's melody-maker. They'd be cuter'n a barrel of monkeys!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 04:07 PM

I couldn't open that link either. Too bad.

I did like the one about the "Monkey Parliament", even though there isn't a single monkey shown in the picture. They're all Chimpanzees. They'd look even cuter if they were clothed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 03:00 PM

I have good reason to doubt the story about Chonga and her/his sister, Amos. When I tried the link I wasn't allow to see it. Until I see the evidence my opinion remains the same.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 02:27 PM

It also appears that Chongo's flight from his natal home was not just the precipitate irresponsibility I have been told it was, but a carefully debated Act of Congress imposed by the elected government of his people for reasons unknown.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 12:48 PM

She was well trained when my son had her. She comes, sits, heel, stay, lie down, shake paws, and will hold food on her forehead until given permission to eat it.

News has just surfaced that the stories about Chinga, Chongo's sister, may have been grossly exagerrated. Chongo's ACTUAL sister was named Sarah Annabelle, and they enjoyed a perfectly normal childhood growing up. Dick and Jane all the way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 10:37 AM

Seems kind of soon for the open dog area. Has she bonded with you enough to come when you call? Be sure to walk her every day, and have her "work" (the walk will do) before you feed her. Check out Cesar Milan's tips on how to be the pack leader. Everyone is more comfortable that way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 09:52 AM

She was a rewscue dog in Phoenix, saved from an abusive home and taken in by a foster-mom; from there she was adopted by my son and his then girlfriend, but when my son moved to LA and began full-time work, Maggie was left to languish for hours at the aprtment while he was at te office. So out of compassion he suggested I take her in; as I have always kinda wanted a dog, we agreed. I was raised with dogs in the family but haven't had one since I left home lo these almost fifty years past. She is part pointer, I think--she has that one-leg-up, nose-forward posture on reflex, and part Lab, I think from looking at her, with maybe a trace of Pit Bull or something.

Se is now the happy possessor of a shiny new California dog license tag.

She has a wicked keen nose and enjoys cataloguing all kinds of different spots where I detect nothing at all, but which are very distinct and significant to her doggy brain. It's interesting looking into the workings of a mind that has very little language but which is so much more sensitive to small movements, smells, and sometimes emotional velleities than I am. She's alovely companion. Yesterday she leatned to play catch. Today we buy a Frisbee and go to the wide open off-leash spaces at Dog Beach, where canines run free by the sea.


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