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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 12 Jul 08 - 07:39 PM
Little Hawk 12 Jul 08 - 07:33 PM
Amos 12 Jul 08 - 06:49 PM
Acme 12 Jul 08 - 03:05 PM
Rapparee 12 Jul 08 - 10:27 AM
Amos 12 Jul 08 - 01:14 AM
Little Hawk 11 Jul 08 - 07:34 PM
Rapparee 11 Jul 08 - 06:25 PM
Little Hawk 11 Jul 08 - 01:35 PM
Rapparee 11 Jul 08 - 12:49 PM
Little Hawk 11 Jul 08 - 12:22 PM
Amos 11 Jul 08 - 11:52 AM
Donuel 11 Jul 08 - 11:39 AM
Rapparee 11 Jul 08 - 09:13 AM
Acme 11 Jul 08 - 12:26 AM
Amos 10 Jul 08 - 11:51 PM
Rapparee 10 Jul 08 - 10:46 PM
Little Hawk 10 Jul 08 - 09:41 PM
Janie 10 Jul 08 - 08:35 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Jul 08 - 07:21 PM
Rapparee 10 Jul 08 - 06:39 PM
Amos 10 Jul 08 - 01:17 PM
Acme 10 Jul 08 - 12:55 PM
Rapparee 10 Jul 08 - 09:21 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Jul 08 - 03:09 AM
Acme 10 Jul 08 - 12:19 AM
Amos 09 Jul 08 - 10:39 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 08 - 10:14 PM
MMario 09 Jul 08 - 08:26 PM
Amos 09 Jul 08 - 07:31 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 08 - 05:35 PM
Amos 09 Jul 08 - 04:13 PM
MMario 09 Jul 08 - 03:47 PM
Acme 09 Jul 08 - 03:35 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 08 - 03:29 PM
Amos 09 Jul 08 - 11:31 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Jul 08 - 11:20 AM
MMario 09 Jul 08 - 11:16 AM
Rapparee 09 Jul 08 - 11:13 AM
Amos 09 Jul 08 - 10:33 AM
Little Hawk 09 Jul 08 - 01:44 AM
Acme 09 Jul 08 - 12:08 AM
Amos 08 Jul 08 - 11:54 PM
Little Hawk 08 Jul 08 - 04:32 PM
Rapparee 08 Jul 08 - 04:25 PM
Little Hawk 08 Jul 08 - 01:06 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Jul 08 - 12:56 PM
MMario 08 Jul 08 - 12:15 PM
Amos 08 Jul 08 - 12:14 PM
Rapparee 08 Jul 08 - 11:37 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 07:39 PM

Whereas, in keeping with my more domesticated moral code, had to do all the cleanup first, and then crash.

It's the Puritan ethic thing, I guess....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 07:33 PM

That must have been awful! Here in Ontario a crash usually only lasts a second or two. It's the cleanup afterward that takes quite a bit of time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 06:49 PM

Mom, I went down to the SHores again, just as daylight started rising. I was launched in my compact yellow shell by 6, and I wnt along the waters close by the caves that dot the bluffs just seaward of La Jolla. I went into one cave, ducked though a water-formed arch and came out of another. I traced the shoreline out to the point and took off for the outer edges of the kelp, and strove northerly., Two doplhins raised up in the water about ten and twenty yards ahead, and slicked quietly back into the water, making their way somewhere known only to them. Along the coasts, large flocks of pelicans and rookeries of cormorants exist; at the hour they have not started their patrols, and look very stately, except for being surrounded by guano.

Along the long stretch north past the Scripps Oceanographic institute, I paused in complete stillness, listening to the bubbles. I was sirprised to hear a deep whoofing snore where no such snore should be. I stared closely at the broadleaf kelp floating at the edge of the great kelp forest and under one leaf I saw two large brown eyes staring out at me, just above the surface. It was a harbor seal, pausing in his morning pursuits to investigate the passer-by in the yellow-bellied boat.

Out on the belly of the PAcific, there are things going on below you that of course you know nothing of; but when the predators are in motion, one way you can tell is the nervous leapings of the tiny anchovies along the surface. Usually tey make little flips of a few inches, one at a time here and there, making tiny ripples and causing a fr-r-r-p!! sound. But when the shoal is threatened, scores or even hundreds will come frrrping and flopping along the surface, densely enough to make a wide band of water turn silver and white in the midst of a slate-blue sea. I paddled through two such shoals on my way up the coast and back.

It was a long hard paddle. As I came back down the coast to my usual landing area and moved in close enough to be picked up on the back of an incoming wave moving toward the sand, the water shifted from gray-blue to green and clear, and as I coasted over the shallows I saw four leopard sharks--little dogfish-lie critters about 3 feet long -- scouring along the bottom. They are called "leopard" because of their strange tawny-greenish skins, dappled with black spots. Then the wave picked me up and I had only the attention for keeping her straight as it carried me like an arrow through the shallows and back onto to the shore.

A long morning, started on a night short of sleep. I got everything cleaned up and put away, back home, and crashed for three hours.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 03:05 PM

Hey, MOM, the mustang grapes are ripe! I picked a couple of gallons this morning and got a couple of quarts of juice. I'm going to make jelly this week. These grape vines grow on a big tree across the road from my house.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 10:27 AM

Well, the washer hasn't broken. Yet. So I guess it was fixed before I got it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 01:14 AM

It makes you wonder what ELSE life has mischievously "fixed" before delivering it to you, doesn't it?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 07:34 PM

So true. I would not have had them fixed were it up to me. They were both "fixed", sadly, prior to their arrival in this household, both having been adopted from previous owners who could not keep them for one reason or another. I don't think either one knows what he is missing. It's unfortunate, because one of them, Finnegan, would surely have been as randy as Bill Clinton if he still had the necessary equipment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 06:25 PM

That's only because you've had them fixed. If you hadn't the similarities would be even more apparent.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 01:35 PM

Yeah, and they also love lining up at the trough. In fact, it's the main thing on their little minds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 12:49 PM

They'd make great politicians: all noise and nonproductive activity, and any public attention is good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 12:22 PM

The little diddlers were out there yelling this morning for some time. They really enjoy making these authoritative declarations of hegemony and letting the whole world know who's in charge.

I opened the window and yelled, "Shut up, you tiddlers!"
("tiddler" - another handy expression for small dogs)

They loved it. Any attention is good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 11:52 AM

I remember those days on the changing table--a free spirit, chained to a very limited body. But the freedom to pee over your head just when the Big Person was approaching was a complete delight!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 11:39 AM

The software Garage Band sounds pretty good.

I'm going to call my band Red Oozing Pustuels.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 09:13 AM

I dunno, Amos. Wherewhen Gluon travels you can never tell -- strings, wormholes, cats, spacial-temporal anomalies, and who knows what else?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 12:26 AM

Don't know much about dachshunds but I got a nice cool down today when I gave my dogs each a bath. It consisted of standing in the yard with the hose and a bottle of shampoo. I also had two towels. In 95 degree weather they don't NEED to be towel dried, but it is always their favorite part of a bath, so I "dry them off" even if they're outside and will air dry in no time at all. I hold the towel and they dive in head first for that whole head and neck rub that they adore.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 11:51 PM

He has better taste than some of us. He wouldn't touch a bandy-legged hot dog no matter how hot.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 10:46 PM

Dachshunds think EVERYONE is shouting encouragement and cheering them on. If Gluon HAS reproduced I hope that the pups aren't part dachshund.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 09:41 PM

"Hey diddle diddle, the dachshund made a piddle..."

That's why I call them "diddlers". They're out in the yard yelling at the neighborhood and I yell out the window at them, "Shut up, you diddlers!" to amuse myself. It only spurs them on to greater vocal efforts. They probably think that I am yelling encouragement.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 08:35 PM

Oh puddiddle
A pox on all your piddle!
Get thee in dry underwear
Wash your hands and comb your hair
Before you touch that fiddle.

.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 07:21 PM

Well I, for one, have NEVER piddled! I've urinated, micturated, peed, pissed, passed water, took a leak, drained the lizard, and pointed Percy at the porcelain. When I was young I pee-peed, tee-teed or wee-weed, depending on whose house I happened to be in at the time. I've also fired a few rounds from the heat-seaking moisture missile, though I'm not sure that's the same thing. But piddled? Nope.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 06:39 PM

You can piddle as you pedal through a puddle to peddle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 01:17 PM

The MOABites take to a huddle,
To sort out a terrible muddle!
It's easy to see,
The need to CP.
And its difference from piddle and puddle."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 12:55 PM

You're confusing "piddle" and "puddle." Neither should be confused with "piddling."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 09:21 AM

With some of the little boys (and girls, for that matter) I've known it more like a fire hose or a geyser.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 03:09 AM

If it goes over one's head, it's pee, not piddle. Piddle just sort of dribbles out. If it comes out in a continuous stream, it's pee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 12:19 AM

"reversed and upside down" piddle is what little boys do over the top of their own heads when they're lying on the changing table before you've had a chance to get the new diaper in place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 10:39 PM

Right, that. Nothing less charming than piddle, at least to most people.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 10:14 PM

Apparently it's something like charm, only reversed and upside down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 08:26 PM

But it does relate to newborns


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 07:31 PM

Piddle is not related to reproduction, according to the information I received on the subject, somewhere in 1st grade....




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 05:35 PM

I qualified my statement because I'm not sure. But there have been certain anomalies found lately by the Accelerator Lab at Idaho State University that tend to lead me to the possibility that perhaps Gluon has maybe reproduced her/his self. On of those is the footprints of tiny quarks with a quality the A-Lab folks are calling "piddle."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 04:13 PM

He's a matrix, of the genus Improbabilis. His reproductive process is by Either-Or translocation.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 03:47 PM

Is Gluon a mammel? Or avian? or monotreme? Or possibly live-bearing but not mammalian?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 03:35 PM

Whelp, I'll be! Really?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 03:29 PM

Speaking of puppies, I have a sneaking suspicion that Gluon has pupped.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 11:31 AM

His feathers, by the way, tend to vaporize when encountering normal matter. THis is why the old wives' expression "rare as a duckdog's feathers" came into wide use.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 11:20 AM

Why they call 'em eggplants.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 11:16 AM

back to a previous question, regarding Gluon and shedding and molting.

Shedding results because of a seasonal weakening of the hair, causing it to break off; Molting results from the old feather being pushed out by the growth of the new feather.

Oddly enough - it is believed (hard to sutdy Gluon because of the uncertainty principle) that Gloun actually molts hair and sheds feathers. In other words, Gluon grows 'hair in discrete sections, much as normal feathers grow; but Glouns feathers grow in a continous manner, such as normal hair is produced - or for example the tail feathers of certain rare orieintal roosters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 11:13 AM

And all along I thought that was just their name. So if they're not called that for nothing, why are they called that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 10:33 AM

AH...herlpful...yes indeed.

They don't call them eggplant for nothing, you know.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 01:44 AM

Those Japanese eggplants are probably handy for a number of purposes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 12:08 AM

No way with these Black Beauties, but maybe the dildo-shaped Japanese eggplants.

Just trying to be helpful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 11:54 PM

But I suspect, veeeeery sloooooowly....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 04:32 PM

Just try it, man.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 04:25 PM

Really? I wasn't aware of that. You've had experience, I take it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 01:06 PM

Aubergine suppositories will really get you moving!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 12:56 PM

I read those Mitford books. Borrowed 'em from a friend. My wife put 'em in her car to return, left the car window open and they all got ruined. Books and water don't mix. We offered to pay for 'em, but our friend insisted that we just give her equal value in pottery and keep our cash. That was nice and Mitfordly of her, wasn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 12:15 PM

Mitford series is good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 12:14 PM

Go read "At Home in Mitford". Loverly book, now a series, with excellent low-key artistic skill behind it.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 11:37 AM

Oh. It's been a long time I've been depressed enough to read that. Or "Jude the Obscure" or anything by a Russian or "Down and Out In Paris and London".


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