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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 12 Oct 08 - 06:23 PM
Acme 12 Oct 08 - 03:39 PM
Amos 12 Oct 08 - 03:16 PM
Amos 12 Oct 08 - 03:14 PM
Amos 12 Oct 08 - 10:09 AM
Janie 11 Oct 08 - 11:55 PM
Rapparee 11 Oct 08 - 06:08 PM
Acme 11 Oct 08 - 04:33 PM
Amos 11 Oct 08 - 04:14 PM
Little Hawk 11 Oct 08 - 03:22 PM
Rapparee 11 Oct 08 - 03:07 PM
Amos 11 Oct 08 - 02:46 PM
Little Hawk 11 Oct 08 - 02:30 PM
Amos 11 Oct 08 - 02:25 PM
Little Hawk 11 Oct 08 - 02:04 PM
Amos 11 Oct 08 - 01:58 PM
Rapparee 11 Oct 08 - 01:41 PM
Acme 11 Oct 08 - 12:16 PM
Amos 11 Oct 08 - 11:05 AM
Rapparee 11 Oct 08 - 10:36 AM
Rapparee 11 Oct 08 - 12:58 AM
Amos 10 Oct 08 - 08:20 PM
Amos 10 Oct 08 - 07:21 PM
Acme 10 Oct 08 - 06:19 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 08 - 06:01 PM
Amos 10 Oct 08 - 04:49 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 08 - 04:15 PM
Little Hawk 10 Oct 08 - 03:48 PM
Amos 10 Oct 08 - 03:45 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 08 - 12:30 PM
Acme 10 Oct 08 - 11:55 AM
Amos 10 Oct 08 - 10:23 AM
Acme 10 Oct 08 - 09:59 AM
Donuel 10 Oct 08 - 09:58 AM
Rapparee 10 Oct 08 - 08:38 AM
Little Hawk 10 Oct 08 - 02:25 AM
Rapparee 09 Oct 08 - 11:27 PM
Rapparee 09 Oct 08 - 04:56 PM
Amos 09 Oct 08 - 02:59 PM
Rapparee 09 Oct 08 - 01:56 PM
Little Hawk 09 Oct 08 - 01:51 PM
Amos 09 Oct 08 - 10:18 AM
Rapparee 09 Oct 08 - 08:55 AM
Little Hawk 09 Oct 08 - 01:23 AM
Acme 09 Oct 08 - 12:51 AM
Amos 08 Oct 08 - 11:27 PM
Rapparee 08 Oct 08 - 10:55 PM
Amos 08 Oct 08 - 07:37 PM
Rapparee 08 Oct 08 - 06:53 PM
Little Hawk 08 Oct 08 - 06:18 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 08 - 06:23 PM

Six bloody !@$%&^!! inches of s**w. Ice. Cars sliding off the roads. But ha! ha! we have spent the day snug inside!

Oh my god...the Legionaires were leaving last night on Operation Find Amos And Rescue Him From Women Bikers In Spadex Biker Pants And Funny Hats. I wonder....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Oct 08 - 03:39 PM

That horse has a story to tell.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 08 - 03:16 PM

Unless you're out trying to help the Sewer Horse take over the world.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 08 - 03:14 PM

You guys better start drinking Brawndo or sompn or you'll snooze your dear ole Maw right off the page!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 08 - 10:09 AM

I guess mine would too!! Wotta lot o' woik!

Oh! I have come to the conclusion that there is a distinct unnoticed parallel between the American Dream of house and family and the legendary wormholes, or Einstein-Rosen bridges in spacetime.

The difference is that wormholes theoretically allow FTL travel, while the American Dream delays motion in n-1 dimensions.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 11 Oct 08 - 11:55 PM

Lovely day int the mid 70's here.

We got the shed framed in and the trusses and rafters up today, Mom. Tomorrow the siding and sheeting for the roof goes up. Don't know if we'll get the shingles on before my amazing sister has to head back to the Eastern Shore or not. But not only can she do anything, she thinks of everything, and brought two big, new tarps to cover it with if we don't get finished. She made a beauteous cedar door for it.

Sum Yung Sun marched in a parade today, playing djeum-djeum with an African Drumming ensemble. I didn't get to stay and watch, but he was quite pleased with the whole affair when I picked him up.

Too pooped, though, to be much use with the shed.

My back hurts, but I managed to keep my thumbs out of the way of the hammer. I'm going to bed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 08 - 06:08 PM

Winter storm WARNING until 3 p.m. MDT tomorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Oct 08 - 04:33 PM

SNOW???

I've been out sweating in the garden, digging a fall bed and picking eggplant, peppers, onions, herbs, and carrots. It must be almost 90 out there.

I wonder if there is a front associated with your weather that might slip this way. I'd like some cooler fall temps again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 08 - 04:14 PM

IF you were a G-string, you would always sound a little flat.
If you were Indiana Jones, some pterodactyl would shit on your fedora hat.
If you were a movie star, fast living would ruin your looks.
Better to stay in Pocatello,
Be a decent, gentle fellow,
And stick to ordering books.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Oct 08 - 03:22 PM

Really bad karma would place the string on a Kent guitar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 08 - 03:07 PM

What about those of us who think that we spend all eternity as a G-string, whether on a lady's costume or on a cheap guitar depending upon your karma?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 08 - 02:46 PM

There are various theories on that issue, much like there are a wide spectrum of emotional, spiritual and mental states one can be in. The blackness of complete apathetic resignation informs the "death is once and forever" school. Those whose mindsets are more disposed to grief, regret, or terror are more likely to thrash around in the wainscoting disturbing the new buyers and causing ectoplasmic high-jinks on a compulsive reactive basis. They might also be inclined to wander into whole holograms peopled by lights and cherubim, depending on how bad their tendency to dub-over reality is with false perceptions is in daily life.

Beings inclined to endless adversarial encounters will probably hang around glowering and waiting for an enemy. Those more inclined to open exploration of the future will find their way across the universes depending on their energy and enthusiasm.

Ya never know for sure.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Oct 08 - 02:30 PM

Yes, I sort of see it that way too, Amos.

Matter of fact, I see this whole life that way. I think it's an illusion, rather like an extended dream that the soul is having...a serial tale of the Perils of Pauline...none of it real whatsoever.

You wake up from this dream when you die. (At least, I hope so!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 08 - 02:25 PM

Interesting tactic--I am beginning to suspect that you yourself are an imaginary playmate, Little Hawk!! I guess this comes with the territory of investing so much energy into creating a monumental paean to BS. Everything becomes a little gauzy, if you take my meaning. The fabric thins, and reality is exposed as a dastardly, if nebulous, bamboozle--a sting of cosmic proportion!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Oct 08 - 02:04 PM

The stink bomb I have put in the mail for you should arrive in about a week, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 08 - 01:58 PM

Mwahaha....SNOWING???

We're doing gardening in 70-degree sunlight.

SNowing....whaaahahahahaha. That Rapaire is such a kidder.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 08 - 01:41 PM

Wow oh boy hot damn it's...snowing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Oct 08 - 12:16 PM

Has she actually read any of the MOAB? (Happy Birthday!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 08 - 11:05 AM

Please relay to her from all the ne'er-do-wells here at MOAB how grateful we are that she is there doing her job, making sure you take your meds, and also for occasionally lending you to us for play.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 08 - 10:36 AM

Happy Birthday to my wife.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 08 - 12:58 AM

Just back from a Natalie McMaster concert. She's preggers with her third child, but it didn't slow her down much. If music DOES help develop wonderful, smart kids her kids have got to be bloody geniuses. A good band, too, including a 14 year old cellist from Mississippi (he's being homeschooled while on tour). AND she mentioned my Library from the stage.

Iffen ya get a chance, don't miss it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 08 - 08:20 PM

When I connect to thee
I will be so replete,
My sweet Schenectady,
In New York's state so sweet

(From the official City Anthem of Schenectady, by Moi Agin, 1957)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 08 - 07:21 PM

Buying your wife a propane stove may end up with you finding a lot more comeuppance on your hands than you reckoned on, I suppose...but by all means ship it out to Camp Wretched Leader in Texas.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Oct 08 - 06:19 PM

I've been stockpiling comeuppance here in my garage. When Dubya moves back to Texas I plan to wait for an opportunity to ship it to him. Several other folks are saving it for the same reason.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 08 - 06:01 PM

No, I bought my wife a propane stove for her birthday tomorrow. I already had a comeuppance and she didn't need one.

But thanks for the thought.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 08 - 04:49 PM

Your condescending smirk has been duly noted, sirrah. Eventually, your comeuppance will arrive at your door, gift-wrapped.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 08 - 04:15 PM

Liberriuns dunt caer wtha Amso dus abot tpyos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Oct 08 - 03:48 PM

If you presist in yuor freqwent taipos, Amos, I shall be forsed to repaort you too the sqwad of killer libraryans.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 08 - 03:45 PM

I would remind you, sir, that Mom is a 501(c)(3) organization, and thus exempt from paying any taxes on benefits received from continuoius BS, much like the Federal gummint its own self. It behooves you, therefore, to take acerbioc political remarks and put them on some other thread where the tax brden is a little firmer.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 08 - 12:30 PM

Probably not...McCain makes most of them break out in boils. Obama causes them to have hives. They plan on voting for the least of the two evils.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Oct 08 - 11:55 AM

Good point!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 08 - 10:23 AM

Well, who knows, Still-- they might just disrupt a McCain campaign event somewhere,.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Oct 08 - 09:59 AM

Amos, you'd better come out from behind the transparent curtains or Rapaire is going to drag those Legion fellas all over the place looking for you. I'd rather see them stay put in Idaho.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Oct 08 - 09:58 AM

Ahh sweet Schenectady
so lovely there ought to be a song.
but its impossible to ryhme.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 08 - 08:38 AM

They plan to start in Kamchatka.

Oh, and while they're looking I'm going to a Natalie McMaster concert ce soir. I'd rather watch her than Amos any day. She also plays the fiddle pretty good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Oct 08 - 02:25 AM

If I were you, I would check out every dumpster and landfill site between Fresno and Schenectady, plus all the trailer parks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 08 - 11:27 PM

I have just returned from the Legion WhoWarehouse. They are outfitting an expedition which will make an extended search for The Real Amos. They're really serious about this, each packhorse is carrying at least two cans of pork-and-beans and six cases of whisk(e)y.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 08 - 04:56 PM

I KNEW it! I just KNEW it! Amos is being held captive on some remote island which is probably awash in guano half the day and birdshit the other half! No fresh water, no swaying palm for shade, no coconuts to eat, just half-rotted fish and lima beans. I shall notify the Legion and the crack S&R team can begin searching the Adriatic and Bering seas immediatetly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Oct 08 - 02:59 PM

The kayak jaunts are when I go to visit him in his maritime retreat.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 08 - 01:56 PM

Apparently he's kept the REAL Amos imprisoned from sixty years!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Oct 08 - 01:51 PM

Is that what those hazardous kayak jaunts are really about?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Oct 08 - 10:18 AM

I dunno. I think you guys are being over-optimistic here. I have been seeking the "real Amos" for over 60 years now, with precious little luck, I don't mind telling ya.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 08 - 08:55 AM

Christmas of which year?

No, the Vergas (as they are known) are a happy bunch. Something about medical marijuana. I didn't ask too much because it can be unhealthy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Oct 08 - 01:23 AM

I have hired a number of little match girls to raise money to find Amos. We are calling it the "Urchin Fund". We already have $13.50 here. I figure we will have enough money to ransom Amos maybe by Christmas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Oct 08 - 12:51 AM

That would be the boy who always played with his close friend John Thomas?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Oct 08 - 11:27 PM

Arr, begarr, when they find out you have roused them all on a wild goose chase, to remedy a no-situation by fixing nothing wrong, they might be most incensed.

Remember the boy Thomas, who cried Wolfe!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 08 - 10:55 PM

I wrote it that way using the word "shamus" in the sense of "flatfoot" or "copper" -- see sleazy detective novels of the '30s and '40s.

Well, I told the Legion tonight about you and individuals contributed $29 towards a new bookmobile, with the Legion itself contributing $50. They have also pledged $15,000 as a "double or nothin'" reward fund for the return of the REAL Amos. They also will contact El Legion des Condors Californios de San Diego de Alcala y El Condor Pasa y El Quince Bridaga y Don Diego de la Verga to "track him down and find the REAL Amos and return him to the bosom of his family and friends, assuming he WANTS to be so returned and he didn't just want to duck out for a while or something."

Imposter, beware!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Oct 08 - 07:37 PM

Speaking of disrespect for the Irish, perhaps you meant to write, "Amos, Seamus"???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 08 - 06:53 PM

Amos, shamus -- I'm going to the Legion meeting tonight. Gonna settle this once and for all. By God, somebody's gonna be sorry or something!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Oct 08 - 06:18 PM

"you will p[perhaps concede that standard English rules of [pronunciation have to be set aside to accommodate your narcissistic whimsy, a step I am unwilling to take just to humor you."

Gad! It has to be Amos. Who the hell else would talk like that? Well, maybe Ron Davies would, but I digress. Note the innate lack of respect for another man's choice of how to pronounce his own name. Shocking! Just who is calling who narcissistic around here? I feel sure now that it is Amos who we are dealing with. His lofty tone denotes that it is, and that things are finally getting back to abnormal around here, and that's probably good.


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