Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134] [1135] [1136] [1137]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 13 Jun 11 - 02:53 PM
Rapparee 13 Jun 11 - 03:57 PM
gnu 13 Jun 11 - 04:07 PM
Amos 13 Jun 11 - 05:47 PM
Acme 13 Jun 11 - 06:02 PM
Eiseley 13 Jun 11 - 07:45 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 11 - 10:48 AM
Amos 14 Jun 11 - 11:05 AM
Rapparee 14 Jun 11 - 01:51 PM
Amos 14 Jun 11 - 03:35 PM
gnu 14 Jun 11 - 06:10 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 11 - 06:23 PM
gnu 14 Jun 11 - 07:10 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 11 - 08:09 PM
Amos 14 Jun 11 - 11:01 PM
gnu 14 Jun 11 - 11:43 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 11 - 12:07 AM
gnu 15 Jun 11 - 12:39 AM
MMario 15 Jun 11 - 09:18 AM
Rapparee 15 Jun 11 - 10:04 AM
Amos 15 Jun 11 - 10:11 AM
Rapparee 15 Jun 11 - 04:12 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 11 - 04:45 PM
gnu 15 Jun 11 - 05:30 PM
Amos 15 Jun 11 - 05:40 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 11 - 10:18 PM
gnu 15 Jun 11 - 10:26 PM
Amos 15 Jun 11 - 11:30 PM
Eiseley 15 Jun 11 - 11:37 PM
Acme 15 Jun 11 - 11:51 PM
Acme 15 Jun 11 - 11:55 PM
Eiseley 16 Jun 11 - 09:34 AM
Amos 16 Jun 11 - 09:58 AM
Rapparee 16 Jun 11 - 10:07 AM
Rapparee 16 Jun 11 - 10:17 AM
Amos 16 Jun 11 - 12:18 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 11 - 01:34 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 11 - 03:37 PM
gnu 16 Jun 11 - 04:06 PM
Amos 16 Jun 11 - 06:14 PM
gnu 16 Jun 11 - 06:49 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 11 - 08:00 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 16 Jun 11 - 08:20 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 16 Jun 11 - 08:22 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 16 Jun 11 - 08:23 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 16 Jun 11 - 08:23 PM
gnu 16 Jun 11 - 09:28 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 11 - 11:04 PM
Amos 17 Jun 11 - 01:29 AM
Rapparee 17 Jun 11 - 10:38 AM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:



Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jun 11 - 02:53 PM

Crap. The Dumont (locally known as the French hospital) called and told me to present at 9:00 instead of 7:45. I gotta fast from midnight on so that's an extra bit of thirsty for me. I don't care about grub but water? Crap.

I suppose 1h15m ain't much when you consider the fact that my referral to the surgeon was faxed on July 13, 2009! But it's a free op eh on accounta I got CanuckCare eh! I hear youse have ObamaCare, Good luck with that eh.

I get to go to the French hospital on accounta I am half Acadian. And I can speak to the Acadian nurses. The ones from La Belle Province are hard to understand, even for the Acadian nurses.

Take no notice of strange posts over the next few days (or in the past for that matter) as I may be loop-de-loop. I had two parotidectomies (cell phones DO cause tumours... I don't give a shit about studies) and refused the morphine and never took the Tylenol 3s as pain doesn't bother me a lot - I don't like being loopy. However, I think this is gonna be a sumbitch on accounta cauterization of the wounds is required. Time will tell.

Probably rather be probed. Them there French nurses... well, I went out with one at uni... nuff said.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 11 - 03:57 PM

They're turning you into a loup-garou?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jun 11 - 04:07 PM

Nahhh... I am a gnu... I could off one a them there wherewoolies faster than a lion. I am a horny gnu.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jun 11 - 05:47 PM

Loup-Ganu, heal up queek, you unnerstan, monsure?

Them wherewoolies are tricky, depending on which end of where you approach. I knew a ganother ganu who headed up from downwind to a wherewooly once, it browsing upwind, and he coming up behind. Wal, the herbs in that patch was silver-tipped foxwrinkle, which doesn't sit well in da wherewooly's intestinal tract, if you take my meaning. One bad blow and the poor ganu was out like a light. So you nevair mind that, mon voyageur, just you stay in dem clean seets and wink at dem purdy nurses til they telling you 's okay to move aboot, eh?


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jun 11 - 06:02 PM

Take care, gnu!

Glad to see you're back, Amos. Anyone who complains about my BLT should scream to the heavens about that apple pie of yours.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 13 Jun 11 - 07:45 PM

Welcome back, Amos. I will now go make some sandwiches and apple pie. Thanks for the great dinner ideas.

Eiseley


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 11 - 10:48 AM

Am I the only one who cares about Mom? Is that why I'm her favorite?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 11 - 11:05 AM

Yes, it is so--you are her favorite because the rest of us are a bunch of lackluster apathetic ne-er-do-well periwinkles. That, and the fact that you live in a constant state of halucinatory delusion.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 11 - 01:51 PM

That's true, Amos. And you are one of my hallucinatory delusions.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 11 - 03:35 PM

I am grateful for your consideration, sir, but I must decline the nomination, and if elected, decline to serve.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jun 11 - 06:10 PM

From my smokin thread...

It was turbinate reduction surgery... snippy-snippy up the nostrils on the septum. There's no pain. She said it would be painful on accouta she cauterizes the wounds. There was pain right after I woke up in recovery but the dilaudid took that away along with my sense of reality. Had I know it would make me looooopy, dizzy and nauseated and make me sweat I would have refused it... I did ask the nurse if it would make me loopy and dizzy and she said "No. You'll be fine."

I asked the nurse in the post recovery how long I would be loopy and she said "About an hour so you should feel better anytime now." An hour later, I asked another nurse the same question and she said "At least 4 hours." She gave me gravol. At three hours I almost fell as I got in the chair to be wheeled to the taxi. When I almost fell getting into a chair at the front door the nurse decided to stay with me until I got in the taxi.

An hour ago, the ceiling stopped falling and I could read. I'm still spacey but there isn't much pain. I guess they tell you it's gonna hurt in case it does... and it may yet... who nose?

Yes it was a long way to go for a nose joke eh?

Call me Rudolf eh?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 11 - 06:23 PM

Simple, compared to what I've just had to do.

I will state is simply:

ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

1. A 50 gallon water heater has busted. The plumber cometh tomorrow.
2. The blower motor in my car, which blows both heated air in the winter and the cooled air in the summer, has croaked.
3. I have rope burns or something on my neck.

On the other hand, if gnu is a commie meteorologist who specializes in precipitation he could be a genuine Red Know Rain, Dear.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jun 11 - 07:10 PM

That sucks! The worst part of this is no blows. And, I was given enough gauze for 7 bandages and enough tape for 5 bandages and I have used 2 in 4 hrs... I will need a bandage on for at least 24 hrs (maybe for 2 - 3 days according to the fact sheet they give you AFTER surgery. Odd they don't tell a person that ahead of time. If I didn't have these in stock, I would have to take a taxi to get them. Incompetence I say. I did request the painkiller and nasal spray prescriptions prior to surgery day for that reason.

All in all, I'd say your woes are worse Rap.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 11 - 08:09 PM

The answer, gnu, is Tampax. Placed up your nose.

Aren't you glad I'm here to solve your problems?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 11 - 11:01 PM

The blue Gnu knows that the new Gnu-nose
Is redder than the reddest rose
And Gnu is blue with his new nose, 'tis true.
But this sad news e'en he will own,
The Gnu's new nose may not be blown
And will be old news before it e'er he blew.
'Til then the Gnu's new nose
Is new news for the first of Gnus
ANd newly blue, he bloweth not
And Gnu only knows what his nose doth wot.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jun 11 - 11:43 PM

Refrain...

Snot!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 11 - 12:07 AM

Snot what? A cedar stump? Chickens? Kraken?

(E)Inquiring minds want to know what it snot.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jun 11 - 12:39 AM

What's not to understand about snot?
It's snot because it's snot.
I thought.
Why not?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Jun 11 - 09:18 AM

Hi Mom! I got a boo-boo yesterday - was ctting the limb off the apple tree that I've been meaning to get rid of for about 5 years (yes, I know - procrastination) and managed to ram a splinter up the side of my pinky....bled like a stuck pig and hurts like a paper cut!

How come the little cuts hurt worse then big ones?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 11 - 10:04 AM

You mean a paper cut hurts worse than, say, decapitation or traumatic amputation? What if you have a spontaneous amputation, like your arm just sorta falls off -- does that hurt as much as a splinter?

I need to know these things just in case.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 11 - 10:11 AM

Because the insulted nerves are small and packed together and therefore scream the louder to makeup for it. The contrast is much more vivid when 98% of your body is reporting normal, systems go, and 2% or less thinks a catastrophe is going on.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 11 - 04:12 PM

So if I underwent spontaneous decapitation I wouldn't feel anything?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 11 - 04:45 PM

That would also mean that being bisected by, say, a sawmill wouldn't hurt as much as a splinter.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jun 11 - 05:30 PM

Oh yes it would. 3.14 times as much but the circle of pain would become asymptotically smaller and disappear in direct proprtion to the speed of the feed of the mill.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 11 - 05:40 PM

Spontaneous decapitation would let you get a head, which would probably be a good thing and compensate for the transient discomfort.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 11 - 10:18 PM

Well, spontaneous decapitation is one of the things I hope none of Mom's kids ever has happen to them. I don't think I'd enjoy it. Walking down the aisle in the store, perusing the pasta, and your head falls off or some other body part drops to the floor -- embarrassing, to say the least.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jun 11 - 10:26 PM

Like a lepperchaun losing his head over a lost pot of Acapulco Gold?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 11 - 11:30 PM

This is a blatant case of the kettle calling the pot Gold...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 15 Jun 11 - 11:37 PM

Bad news about the water heater, Rapparee. I hope you were able to keep your powder dry.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jun 11 - 11:51 PM

Random parts falling off in the grocery store would be amputation - decapitation would be losing your head in the grocery store. Just so we're clear on that.

I'll see your hot water heater and raise you the Chevy truck brake ABS computer. I realized yesterday that I'd forgotten to get the annual inspection for the truck in May, and this ABS/Brake light had started coming on sometimes in the last week. So I took it to the Chevy dealer, figuring they'd top the brake fluid and do the state inspection. They replaced the brake ABS computer for $1300 and charged another $50 for the inspection. Ouch! ouch! ouch! ouch! ouch! ouch! ouch! ouch! ouch! ouch!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jun 11 - 11:55 PM

I forgot - gnu - my ex had his turbinites trimmed during surgery to remove his tonsils. The doctor packed the nose completely full of gauze, avoiding the problem you're having. Ex pulled it out a couple of days later.

Turns out turbinites are erectile tissue. No wonder he always got a stuffy nose during sex. . .


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 09:34 AM

Ouch! That brake bill is almost as bad as my plumbing bill back in February.

Rapparee, are you going to go swing your rapier at the uprising this weekend? I hope you didn't really go looking for it last weekend.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 09:58 AM

His powder is so try it nearly blew away in a sneeze, and his long rifle's bent in the middle and his lead balls gone green. We oughta rustle him up a plate of them turnidite things with pepper sauce, you betchum! And all the trimmings and tips, too.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 10:07 AM

Amos, lead oxides to white, not green. If your balls are turning green they're contaminated with copper or mold and you shouldn't have left them get all moldy.

Yes, I took a drive out the Uprising way. It was actually to see where it was going to be and to get me out of the house.

Today I take my car into the shop for the blower repair and tomorrow I take my wife's in for an oil job.

Life is not dull, anyway. Exhausting, frustrating, depressing, annoying, yes, but not dull.

Stilly -- I raise you two new pedestrian doors, a new patio door, and refurbishing another patio door. My ante is the costs of landscaping.... The water heater is a side bet.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 10:17 AM

Soon Mom will be at 41 kay,
And she will turn to me and say,
"You are the dearest, best of my sons:
Now get to the bathroom, for you have the runs."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 12:18 PM

I am so glad someone is taking some responsibility for the Epic Paean to the Numbers of Mom besides me. Remember, it's not the quality of the lines, but their quantity which counts. How could you count quality, anyway? Pirsig went crazy just thinking about it!


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 01:34 PM

Later today I hope to post my research into spontaneous amputation (including decapitation). I was kidding around at first, but found that it is a real, albeit infrequent, disorder.

More later.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 03:37 PM

There are two types of spontaneous amputation. One is caused by an untreated pathological condition, such as diabetes or gangrene. In fact a case of spontaneous gangrenous amputation in New York City was reported in a recent issue of the Archives of Surgery; it was notable because the condition had remained unreported and untreated for six months in a large city.1

However another class of spontaneous amputation (called "sponamp" by the medical profession) has long been recognized but, like the proverbial "crazy Uncle Harry" has not been discussed or studied. This type (which has two sub-types) occurs in otherwise healthy people and until recently, as noted above, was neither studied nor discussed. The June issue of Zeitung der seltsamen medizinischen Studien has changed all that.

The first type of sponamp (or "Type I") was long considered to be caused by evil spirits or demonic possession. Studies at the Frankfurt-Hochschule der unverschämten medizinischen Studien have taken another look at these assumption and have found that sponamp is probably an auto-immune reponse. In simplified terms, the body "casts away" a part to which it has become allergic. No body part seems exempt, and in one case reported from an unnamed beach in France an umbilicus, propelled by an overabundance of flatulence, struck and killed a seagull over 100 meters distant. A genetic component is suspected and research is on-going.

Type II sponamp has a different cause. Type II seems to be the body's reaction of shame and disgust. In Type II, the part falls away because its actions have caused the rest of the body to reject it because of something it has done. This is sometimes called the "If You Don't Stop Doing That It Will Fall Off" type. In t the majority of cases the body part involved is the brain, followed by the mouth and lips. This seems to be particularly endemic among politicians and members of the media.

Types I and II sponamp are now thought to be far more common than previously suspected, primarily due to sociocultural factors such as the wearing of clothing.

Investigations continue at medical schools and research centers around the world.





1. Oh, go look up the references yourself!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 04:06 PM

SRS... you should post about such things as the ABS light being on. Mine came on three weeks after the warranty expired and I drove my truck for 11 years and Ford gave me a good price on the trade-in. Fact is, if the brakes are working it's the sensor that's messed up and that don't cost no $1300. ABS is not required by law here anyway. And we have a lot more icey weather in which ABS is a good thing than you have.

Take a look at the inspection report... does it have a checklist box for the ABS? Mine does not have one.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 06:14 PM

That happened to a girl I know who was under a lot of stress because she worked as a jolly walker in the Streets of Austin. It went against her grain but she had to make a living.

Anyway, her business fell off.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 06:49 PM

What's a jolly walker? Even google doesn't provide a definition.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 08:00 PM

That should be JOLI Walker -- Johnny's twin sister.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 08:20 PM

I keep waitin' for one of you bozos to post somethin' that, number one....makes sense.

And number two...is worth respondin' to.

So far all my waitin' has been in vain.

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 08:22 PM

By the way, I knew a guy whose business fell off too. I told him to use protection if he was gonna go with them cheap proskirts all the time. He didn't listen. The rest is history.

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 08:23 PM

Notice how it's hard to get good bananas at a good price lately?

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 08:23 PM

Hmmm. 41,000. How about that?

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 09:28 PM

Yer bananas are green with envy. Big peel.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 11:04 PM

Preliminary studies show conclusively that Type 2 Sponamp is very common among chimpanzees. See Bosch, Pisht, et al., Rev. Prim. Stud., New Series, vol. 247, First Quarter 2011, p. 238ff.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 11 - 01:29 AM

A jolly walker is someone of the female persuasion who engages in the commercial trafficking of physical favors and encounters prospective customers by walking the streets of a city or town; a street-walker, proskirt, roundheels, hooker, harlot, loose woman or tramp.

Chongo's sister used to be one, until she promoted herself to Madame.

She has never forgiven that flea-bitten good-for-nothing slacker of a two-bit sub-simian flatfoot for the way he treated her and their mother. Nor will I, for the way he treated the Forty-One of Kay.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 11 - 10:38 AM

Chongo's treatment of his mother and sister are evidence of gender identification problems. These problems are also evident in his treatment of women, obsession with firearms as problem-solving tools, and his general tough-guy attitude.

Freud would suggest that he fears that he is sexually inadequate and therefore must constantly "prove" himself. Modern diagnosis would say that his problems stem from a failure to accept that he is, actually, female and a transgender operation is in order.

He should be aware that such psychological stress, especially at the levels he demonstrates, inevitably lead to Type 2 Sponamp of the appropriate appendages and organs, with the body immediately beginning to produce the necessary hormones to bring "him" in line with his true sexuality. Genetic changes also occur.

In short, any minute know HIS business will fall off and "he'll" become fully female. The impact of this upon his psychological makeup will be immediate, as it will bring prompt relief. The impact upon his socio-econo-enviro-cultural matrix may well be a different story. I would not suggest, for instance, that he continue smoking cigars. Few males like girls who chomp cigars.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 14 December 5:54 PM EST

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.