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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bunnahabhain 17 Dec 05 - 11:44 AM
Amos 17 Dec 05 - 10:48 AM
Acme 17 Dec 05 - 10:32 AM
Rapparee 17 Dec 05 - 10:27 AM
Bunnahabhain 16 Dec 05 - 07:05 PM
Rapparee 16 Dec 05 - 06:31 PM
Amos 16 Dec 05 - 06:28 PM
Rapparee 16 Dec 05 - 04:19 PM
Bunnahabhain 16 Dec 05 - 03:57 PM
Amos 16 Dec 05 - 03:11 PM
Acme 16 Dec 05 - 01:30 PM
John MacKenzie 16 Dec 05 - 11:59 AM
Amos 16 Dec 05 - 11:46 AM
Rapparee 16 Dec 05 - 11:39 AM
MMario 16 Dec 05 - 10:27 AM
John MacKenzie 16 Dec 05 - 10:13 AM
Amos 16 Dec 05 - 10:05 AM
Rapparee 16 Dec 05 - 09:24 AM
MMario 16 Dec 05 - 09:16 AM
Rapparee 16 Dec 05 - 09:06 AM
John MacKenzie 16 Dec 05 - 05:07 AM
Amos 15 Dec 05 - 11:48 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 05 - 09:48 PM
Bunnahabhain 15 Dec 05 - 09:01 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 05 - 02:02 PM
Acme 15 Dec 05 - 01:06 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 05 - 12:18 PM
Bunnahabhain 15 Dec 05 - 12:07 PM
MMario 15 Dec 05 - 11:54 AM
GUEST,Greg T. 15 Dec 05 - 11:52 AM
MMario 15 Dec 05 - 11:49 AM
Rapparee 15 Dec 05 - 11:46 AM
John MacKenzie 15 Dec 05 - 10:29 AM
MMario 15 Dec 05 - 10:26 AM
Amos 15 Dec 05 - 10:20 AM
John MacKenzie 15 Dec 05 - 09:47 AM
MMario 15 Dec 05 - 09:33 AM
Rapparee 14 Dec 05 - 10:25 PM
Bunnahabhain 14 Dec 05 - 07:49 PM
Bunnahabhain 14 Dec 05 - 06:52 PM
John MacKenzie 14 Dec 05 - 06:28 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 05 - 05:47 PM
MMario 14 Dec 05 - 05:47 PM
MMario 14 Dec 05 - 01:10 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 05 - 01:05 PM
MMario 14 Dec 05 - 09:56 AM
Amos 14 Dec 05 - 09:48 AM
Rapparee 14 Dec 05 - 09:10 AM
Bunnahabhain 13 Dec 05 - 09:47 PM
Acme 13 Dec 05 - 05:57 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 11:44 AM

Now be nice to the women and they'll be nice to you (if you know what I mean, heh heh heh) even if you're one of those Scots "men" who wear a skirt.

Oh I am nice to them, I am,. In fact, I'm making wassail for the party this evening, and a non-alcoholic one, just to be nice.

I just knows she doesn't read MOAB...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 10:48 AM

That doesn't sound all that nice. Why would one marry a devil?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 10:32 AM

I read or heard a story some time ago about an old-time church in which the devil got into the pulpit disguised as the pastor one Sunday morning. He harangued the congregation with invective and vitreol and by ones and twos the faithful soon abandoned their place of worship--all but one old man sitting near the front.

The devil stepped down from the pulpit and addressed the old man, asking if he knew who he was. The old man assured the devil that he recognized him.

"And you're not afraid of me?" asked the Devil?

"Hell, no. I'm married to your sister!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 10:27 AM

Why you pickin' on the women? Do you not honor (or honour, in your case) the sex that gave you birth? The gentler sex, who drove the sassenach out of Scotland? Who inspired such Scottish heroes as Robert the Bruce, William Wallace, Sawney Bean, and The MacGregor? Where would Scotland be were it not for such as Flora MacDonald and Mary Tudor? For that matter, where would Scotland be without women?

Just a barren and blasted land, that's where. Uninhabitated. So there.

Now be nice to the women and they'll be nice to you (if you know what I mean, heh heh heh) even if you're one of those Scots"men" who wear a skirt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 07:05 PM

Now now, dragging up old political and religious bigotry is a bad idea. Stick with safer topics.
Child 278, with bounce....

There was an old man in Devon did dwell,
and he had a wife, ands she gave him hell.

...assorted other trouble...

They say that the women are worse than the men,
They went down to hell , and came back again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 06:31 PM

Up the long ladders and down the short ropes
Ta hell with King Billy and God Bless the Pope,
If that doesn't do it we'll tear him in two
And send him to Hell with his red, white and blue!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 06:28 PM

Up a long ladder, down a short rope;
Here's to King Billy and to hell wit da Pope!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 04:19 PM

Well, in that case:

His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI, Bishop Of Rome And Vicar Of Jesus Christ; Successor Of St. Peter, Prince Of The Apostles; Supreme Pontiff Of The Universal Church; Patriarch Of The West; Servant Of The Servants Of God; Primate Of Italy; Archbishop And Metropolitan Of The Roman Province; Sovereign Of Vatican City State.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 03:57 PM

Better than our familiy's seemingly favourite use of scrabble, namley winding up dyslexics...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 03:11 PM

A brilliant use of Scrabble, I must say, Mag! :)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 01:30 PM

You can't use proper names in Scrabble. Not unless you're playing something like our home-grown modified game that we call Scribble. (In that one you get extra points if you fetch glasses of water or snacks for your mom or sibling, and you lose points for arguing. Rude words and proper nouns are allowed, and we play off of the edge of the board. The letters of two games are combined and the kids commingle their letters and take turns laying them down. They play opposite me, and if you haven't guessed by now, this was developed to encourage cooperation. It usually has a residual effect for several days after the game.)

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 11:59 AM

Yea well, we've got.......

His Royal Highness Prince Charles Philip Arthur George, Prince of Wales, KG, KT, GCB, OM, AK, QSO, PC, ADC, Earl of Chester, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick, Baron of Renfrew, Lord of the Isles and Prince and Great Steward of Scotland.

How's that for a Scrabble score??
G ☺


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 11:46 AM

Or José Carlos Ribeiro de Toledo y de Sant'Anna Vargas for short...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 11:39 AM

Actually, we wanted to name him "Yeshua ben RalphandVanessa of Michigan", but it was kinda long, especially when you got the middle name in there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 10:27 AM

Ten-four (hundred) good buddy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 10:13 AM

Round figures are so attractive, don't you think?
G


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 10:05 AM

I don't see why -- it's a popular name in some circles. There's no accounting for people's buttons, though.

I always thought Areola would be a nice name for a girl.

Congratulations to you avuncular celebrants!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 09:24 AM

I shall become a great-uncle for a second time any day now. Xavier is almost two, and Andrew is on the way.

I've been holding out for Christmas, like his grandfather. We want to name the kid "Jesus." For some reason his parents are opposed to this....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 09:16 AM

A marriage ceremony effects M-I-L's the way the full moon does werewolves - only the effect is permanent. *grin*

Did I mention I have become a great-uncle again? Rowan was born last friday - 19 inches, 5 lbs, 14 oz. Her big sister Gaia is very proud, Daddy survived the experience (though still has a dazed expression on his face when he sees her) and Uncle MMario got to hold her for three hours last night!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 09:06 AM

I live about 2,000 miles from my mother-in-law. We have always lived at least 10 driving hours away. This is my wife's idea, and has been ever since about 1966 when she left the effete East for the burly, brawling, hairy chested, Midwest -- specifically, St. Louis.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 05:07 AM

Anybody told the denizens of Moab Utah, that people are plotting their demise?
G.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 11:48 PM

Life is not a comic strip. As it happens, I get along perfectly well with my highly skilled and hard working MIL, as long as the dosage is kept small.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 09:48 PM

Yes. They do. They become terrible monsters to whom their daughters are always running at the slightest hint of trouble. Then they come and visit and carp and criticize the whole time.

Just check any comic strip or movie....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 09:01 PM

All this talk of family got me thinking....

Do mothers in law undergo an unusual change at the time of their daughters wedding?
It's just that the one I might get, assuming everything carries on for a few more years, I seem to get on rather well with. And the various other bits of family seem to get on fine as well, and have done in some cases since before either of us were born.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 02:02 PM

Moe Moab lives just down the street.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 01:06 PM

But should our precious Mother get axed due to superstition or rumor, we need don't want to scatter our precious BS resources, so the suggestions are very useful. Son or Daughter of MOAB has to hit the ground running. Or. . .

Mother Of the Mother of all BS could be MoMOAB, or could must be MOM for short.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 12:18 PM

What it MEANS is that time's a-wastin'! We've got to get going, flinging more BS! This is our chance!! Our moment!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 12:07 PM

That would make MOAB just over half of one percent of the Whole Mudcat.

It sorts of puts everything in perspective really, like staring up into a starry sky, or looking out to the horizion hand in hand with someone you love. It just feels right, without actually accomplishing anything at all...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 11:54 AM

yup.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Greg T.
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 11:52 AM

You sure?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 11:49 AM

about 1.6 million records - not counting PM's etc. give or take a few tens of thousands.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 11:46 AM

A small library near here has about 63,000 item and patron records in its database -- not to mention the records for over 250,000 circulations, book holds, and god alone knows how many overdue notices and "unresolved" records. All told, there are probably damn near a million records in it.

All in SQL, all retrievable, and the system runs accurately and fast.

I won't even try to guess how many data pieces WE have, but I have about times more items records ALONE.

MOAB could easily go to 25K or more and shouldn't harm the servers at all (assuming there are no other problems).

It's just another manifestation of envy, one of the Seven Capital Sins.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 10:29 AM

Friend of mine used to call his MIL 'The Exocet' on the grounds that he knew she was coming, but there was fuck all he could do about!
G.

LOBSTERS =   Leave Our BS Thread Extant Rotten Sods


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 10:26 AM

well - to placate the Ferengi out there - why not make it:

Mother In-Law of All B.S. - thus MILOABS - pronounced "My Lobes"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 10:20 AM

I don't get the thinking on this; we have long provided the Gold Standard of stress testing for all Mudcat server software improvements, and anyway, it's only eleven thousand items in a databse. Come on!

But I think Mother of all BS In Law might be nice (MOABIL).

Mother in law!
Mother in law!
Mother in law!
Mother in law!
The worst person I know,
Mother in law.
(Mother in law!)
She worries me so
Mother in law,
mother in law!

If she leaves us alone
We could have a happy home
Sent from down below
Mother in law,
mother in law!

Mother in law,
mother in law!


Satan should be her name
To me they're about the same
Everytime I open my mouth
Steps in trying to put me out
How could you stood so low

Mother in law,
mother in law!
Mother in law,
mother in law!

....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 09:47 AM

Step Mother of all BS threads? SMOAB
Mother Superior of all BS Threads? MSOAB
Son of all BS threads SOABS
Hands off our MOAB HOOMOAB

G.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 09:33 AM

well - if they do shutdown Mom, we'll just have make a part two - "MOAB after the divorce", or something...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 10:25 PM

If they take away my thread
If they take away my Mom
Tell me who will fling the BS?
Hell, a GUEST just don't know how.


(Sorry Tom.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 07:49 PM

They're talking about shutting MOAB on another thread! Talking about us overloading the server and other vile slanders!
I'm not worried though, the Mudcat R.I.P. thread will disappear soon though, and we will remain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 06:52 PM

Ferrous metal, Rap, metal! The haemoglobin in your blood isn't metallic. Very tasty to Ralphs, but not metallic.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 06:28 PM

Because metal ferrets are dangerous, and they don't like 'Tom Corbett Space Cadet' reruns.
Giok
[Beam me up Commander Jessup.]


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 05:47 PM

And why can't I bring ferrous metal on board?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 05:47 PM

BTW - Mom, did you know it was minus 15 degrees C this morning? Sounds a lot colder then it does in F scale temps, doesn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 01:10 PM

hey! I've seen that scout ship! beginning of june it was hanging around the Eastern Seaboard. AMos! Why didn't you tell us?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 01:05 PM

My light saber is in the shop. The photon accumulator/compactor blew out. I'll just bring my white bronze sword instead. It's non-ferrous.

But, what about the iron in my blood? I'll be damned if I'm going to drain off my hemoglobin just for ride in Amos' scout ship .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 09:56 AM

Do you expect trouble? Is that why you are telling Rapaire to pack his light Saber? Is there gonna be combat?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 09:48 AM

Rapaire:

Got the scout vessel. Am en route to pick you up. No ferrous metal objects, and pack light.

Regards,


Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 05 - 09:10 AM

Honestly? I've never heard of it. That being the case, I never downloaded it. Even if I had heard of it I wouldn't download it. I will never be a slave to popular culture! Never! I am free! I am not now, and never have been, a member of the popular culture! Except for my Davy Crockett cooonskin cap back in the '50s, of course. And my Nehru jacket. And my peace buttons. And my pet rock. And my Cabbage Patch doll collection. And the Beanie Babies. But otherwise I am and have always been totally free of popular culture, except for Roy Rogers stuff. A total and complete waste, that's popular culture, and I for one am damned glad that I'm not part of it!

So there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 09:47 PM

I have just recived the curse of Douglas Adams. I was offered no choice but to install starship titanic. Utterly confusing starts to come close. Like playing chess in the dark, using poker chips for pieces!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Dec 05 - 05:57 PM

Total change of subject--look at this beauty. They just discovered it in Guatemala. 2000+ years old.


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Mudcat time: 12 December 8:47 AM EST

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