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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 13 Jul 05 - 11:56 AM
GUEST,MMario 13 Jul 05 - 10:00 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 13 Jul 05 - 09:13 AM
Donuel 13 Jul 05 - 01:55 AM
Amos 12 Jul 05 - 10:13 PM
Rapparee 12 Jul 05 - 04:05 PM
Acme 12 Jul 05 - 03:11 PM
Amos 12 Jul 05 - 01:59 PM
Amos 12 Jul 05 - 12:26 PM
GUEST,Amos 11 Jul 05 - 08:14 PM
Rapparee 11 Jul 05 - 04:30 PM
Liz the Squeak 11 Jul 05 - 04:28 PM
Acme 11 Jul 05 - 04:21 PM
GUEST,MMario 11 Jul 05 - 04:20 PM
Acme 11 Jul 05 - 04:12 PM
Acme 11 Jul 05 - 04:09 PM
Acme 11 Jul 05 - 04:07 PM
Acme 11 Jul 05 - 04:02 PM
Rapparee 11 Jul 05 - 02:05 PM
GUEST,MMario 11 Jul 05 - 12:03 PM
Amos 11 Jul 05 - 11:57 AM
Rapparee 11 Jul 05 - 11:39 AM
Amos 11 Jul 05 - 11:21 AM
GUEST,MMario 11 Jul 05 - 11:11 AM
Acme 11 Jul 05 - 10:10 AM
Rapparee 10 Jul 05 - 11:26 PM
Amos 10 Jul 05 - 11:12 PM
Acme 10 Jul 05 - 08:20 PM
Amos 10 Jul 05 - 05:45 PM
Acme 10 Jul 05 - 02:24 AM
Rapparee 09 Jul 05 - 06:42 PM
Amos 09 Jul 05 - 03:24 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 05 - 03:17 PM
Acme 09 Jul 05 - 02:06 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 05 - 12:41 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 05 - 12:40 PM
Acme 09 Jul 05 - 11:11 AM
Rapparee 08 Jul 05 - 11:02 PM
Amos 08 Jul 05 - 09:29 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 08 Jul 05 - 09:02 PM
Amos 08 Jul 05 - 07:41 PM
Amos 08 Jul 05 - 07:29 PM
Acme 08 Jul 05 - 06:22 PM
Acme 08 Jul 05 - 04:44 PM
GUEST,MMario 08 Jul 05 - 03:03 PM
Acme 08 Jul 05 - 02:52 PM
GUEST,The Great Cosmic Enlightenment 08 Jul 05 - 01:31 PM
Amos 08 Jul 05 - 01:07 PM
GUEST,MMario 08 Jul 05 - 11:42 AM
Rapparee 08 Jul 05 - 10:59 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jul 05 - 11:56 AM

What about fur on a spinning cat? Or a spinning bicycle paint on a cat? Or a spinning cat on a furry bicycle?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 13 Jul 05 - 10:00 AM

no more given to sudden changes or going off on their own than say, the fur on a cat

Obviously whoever came up with THIS comment has never lived with a cat. A cat's fur CONSTANTLY goes off on its own. Usually onto something with a contrasting colour. Especially if that something is not washable.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 13 Jul 05 - 09:13 AM

But Amos! That thing about spin and charge is very nice, but they did not in any way address fur on a bicycle! Paint, yes. I've seen the math, and they can even deal with paint on a cat. But they gave no consideration at all to fur on a bicycle OR a bicyle on a cat OR a cat on a bicyle OR a bicyle on fur.

Ergo, I'm just not so sure....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Jul 05 - 01:55 AM

The media circus won't cover this crime
It was just too cut and dried
They want stories that bleed and stretch over time
not this one, believe me I tried.

They want MJ and OJ and Natalee Holloway
or maybe a kid in a well
They want explosions and crashes and blood as it splashes
underground, in a dank dark hell.

The truth as you know it are lies, they won't show it
what matters is the bottom line
Friendship is golden and privacy's lonesome
So alone I'll be silent of the silence of crime.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 05 - 10:13 PM

Its still made-up quick bad stuff, Mag. Just because Molly Erwin made it up doesn't change anything.

But never mind -- chacun a son mauvais poete, I always say!

IN OTHER NEWS, LETTING THE SPIN LOOSE, A team of scientists at the Weizmann Institute of Science has recently demonstrated conclusively that, in very specific circumstances, spin can become separated from charge and progress independently down a wire

Two properties of an electron - its spin and its charge - are generally thought to be inseparable, intrinsic characteristics, no more given to sudden changes or going off on their own than say, the fur on a cat or the paint on a bicycle. But a team of scientists at the Weizmann Institute of Science has recently demonstrated conclusively that, in very specific circumstances, spin can become separated from charge and progress independently down a wire. Their findings appeared in a recent issue of Science.

Full story at http://www.physorg.com/news5107.html

SO THE NEXT TIME THE SPIN BIN IS FULL OUT IN DFW, YOU CAN JUST POUR 'EM ONTO THE WIRES AND SEND THEM TO CALIFORNIA. WE WON'T NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 05 - 04:05 PM

My friend Sue used to be surnamed Erwin until she married Eastman, but she wasn't born with either surname. I don't think she is related to Molly, though. Especially since she (Sue) still lives (such as anyone can) in the Bay Area.

(She married Eastman so she wouldn't have to change the monograms on the towels.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jul 05 - 03:11 PM

No madeup quick bad stuff for me, Amos. I posted a link--there really was a Molly Erwin who wrote maudlin poetry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 05 - 01:59 PM

I can hear the heads shaking slowly. That poor guy. He's really gone off the edge, hasn't he? And he used to be really fun, too...shame, really. Devoured by an obsession with Victorian metre and imagery, lost all touch with reality. Really sad....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 05 - 12:26 PM

Lo, that the sweet decline of motherhood
Has tumbled nations, made to dust
The vaunted heights of cities and of law;
By negligence of hearth, and care for war
Or dull machines have men once good
Left in their dusty trail, as all men must
The truest kindness e'er they saw!
To follow some ephemeral star.

Now, in benighted times of war and decline
When every hand is turned to sullen gain
How shall we turn the madd'ning mind,
And steer the brutal beast to home again?
How shall we turn the driven ship from war,
And raise a mother's eyes, and heart once more?

Lowell Ptarmigan-Hensley
"Hearth Songs",
Fenn, Bosk, Dell and Brook Ltd.
Boston, 1911


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 08:14 PM

I have been contributing really second-rate verses to these columns and attributing them to fictitious second-rate poets (with corny names and even cornier publishers and titles from corny days gone by) for some time. I am delighted, not to say flattered, to see this template of risible art has finally taken root in the rich BS around Mom's feet, where ANYTHING can blossom and most everything does.

Many thanks, Doctor Rapaire.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 04:30 PM

Sweet Maggie

Maggie, with a taste for gore
Nailed her brother to the floor.
Mother said, with humor quaint,
"Careful, dear, you'll mar the paint."

--Ernestine Clatrock O'Shaugnessy,
Poems of Home and Hearth (Ardfert: The Family Press, 1873).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 04:28 PM

Well I daresay I lost 8400, the time it took this to load... but I tried!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 04:21 PM

All that to legitimatedly snag 8400. In case you didn't get enough saccharine in your diet today, here's a little more from Peerless Maggie:

Such a weight of mortal woe.
Of the coffined form I need not tell,
Of the dark and death-draped bier,
Of the doleful dirge of the funeral knell,
Of the grave where sleeps young Harry Bell,
Or of weeping Maggie Peer.
But the burial scene was wild with grief,
And the gathering crowd was vast;
And sympathy proffered a vain relief,
As a pale young maiden, the mourner chief,
Swooned over the dead like an autumn leaf
Just shaken in winter's blast.

It does not end well.

Willam McGonagle was Molly Erwin's contemporary.

The stuff you learn around here . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 04:20 PM

participatory self-googling? Whatever went on here over the weekend! I'm shocked to the core of my New England Upbringing!


Thanks to SRTS for taking the horribly unlucky 8400th post!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 04:12 PM

Lot's more of this back at the page where I found it (written sometime before 1890):

MAGGIE PEER.
A TRUE TALE OF THE WAR.

The Bird of Peace has spread her wings
Again in our glorious sky;
But plaintive and sad is the song she sings,
So sad that many a sigh it brings,
And tears to many an eye.
She has gained the prize, but at fearful cost,
For she misses the true and the brave;
She mourns for the loved forever lost?
For the war-worn feet that forever crossed
The portal of the grave.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 04:09 PM

Another use of "Maggie," a disgrunted non-fan of Mrs. Thatcher:

link

Ode To Maggie

Dear Maggie, don't take this to heart,
But I think you're an ugly old tart,
And I just want to say,
In a not unkind way,
That I never liked you from the start.

Dear Maggie, can I just point out,
I believe that there's really no doubt,
You're a bit of a slapper,
And never seem happier,
Than when flashing your cleavage about.

Dear Maggie, you're meant to be smart,
You were an Intelligence Officer at the start,
But with each passing day,
You are losing your way,
Now you're naught but a cheap little tart.

(for the rest, follow the link)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 04:07 PM

10

maggie and milly and molly and may
by e. e. cummings

maggie and milly and molly and may
went down to the beach(to play one day)

and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn't remember her troubles,and

milly befriended a stranded star
whose rays five languid fingers were;

and molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and

may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.

For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)
it's always ourselves we find in the sea


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 04:02 PM

If you've participated in that thread about Googling yourself then you know that there are other ways entirely that you can lump and sort yourself when searching for relatives or references. Amazing what that system can find (and why did so many other people give their children MY name?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 02:05 PM

That was "Schloss" and "Schlossschluss", not whatever came out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 12:03 PM

ah, but Amos, you expect me to use LOGIC! Aside from the fact that logic and I are not on speaking terms, I beleive the family brain cell has been loaned out to a young autistic child for training (of the brain cell) - not to mention I am suffering time lag from two days in the 16th century.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 11:57 AM

MM, as far as I know most civilizations of the Western Hemisphere use patronymic tags for defiing elationships, not given names. If you had to trace your family tree through everyone named "M", or perhaps Leo, just think how complicated your reunions would become!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 11:39 AM

1815, actually, Amos. Either August 1 or December 18; he was born exactly at the stroke of midnight to Wilhelm Keats and Maria Montoya Smythe-Gerstenbacher, Hereditary Electoress of Baden-Baden-Baden and first cousin to Prince Fred of Wien-Am-Rhein. His father, Wilhelm, Sr. (or "Big Billy" as he came to be known) was a Schweinlandwirt-in-training at the Smythe-Gerstenbacher castle (or, as they say in German, SchloĆ?), SchloĆ?schluĆ?, and a very, very, precocious lad indeed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 11:21 AM

An interesting parallel construct, Doctor Rapaire; I had been assured it was Stuttgart, but Wien may be a more frank assessment. Your time line is perhaps more interesting, given that you have named the lady and the approximate date; however, my informant knew about the Viking hat.

I believe W Jr was born in 1817 or 1818, but the records are ambiguous; the original documents relating to his birth were destroyed during the retreat of 1919, mistakenly mixed in with a lot of confidential government papers being rapidly destroyed to prevent their falling into the hands of the advancing American troops.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 11:11 AM

so who's this "Amos Ori" - any relation?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 10:10 AM

Mom! Mom! Can you hear me mom? You nearly passed out! Here, take my hand, let me help you to the seat over here at the top! What were those boys thinking, not coming back to check on you instead of reading that silly poetry? Keats, Yeats, they all sound alike. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 11:26 PM

John Keats died without legitimate progeny. During his tour through the Germanies in 1800, however, he met a buxom young lady named Gretchen in a Bierstubbe in Wien-am-Rhine. One night, after boozing with "Boozy" Hawkes and other disreputables, they swapped: he gave her a tax deduction and she gave him a social disease. Wilhelm Keats was born some months after John left, and Wilhelm, jr. was born some years after that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 11:12 PM

The sad result of a bleary-eyed biergarten run-in with a rather large blonde woman in Stuttgart, who wore a Viking hat. And little else. Keats was enough sheets to the wind that he believed he was fulfilling a Wagnerian Valkyrie archetype that night, but all that came of it became Wilhelm.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 08:20 PM

Wilhelm, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 05:45 PM

Thou still but half-baked bride of quietness,        
Thou foster-child of Wheel and of the Eye,        
Rounded container , who canst thus express        
A turning tale more sweetly than our lie:        
What mottled glaze doth linger on thy shape                 5
Burned in the kiln of art that dieth not,         
    In temper fair, wedged from the bosky clay        
What men or gods your slipping line has wrought?        
What mad pursuit? What struggle to be free?        
    What genius unemployed? What wheel of ecstasy?

Ode On Accretion Earned
Wilhelm Keats, Junior
"Poems My Father Rejected"
Strasbourg, 1837


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 02:24 AM

I'm going to write a poem about this unusual growing collection of ceramic potter puns and call it

Odd, to accretian turn


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 05 - 06:42 PM

Wheel, I'll just rakku this up to experience, mostly because I'm afraid I'd start to slip into really bad puns.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 05 - 03:24 PM

A hard finish -- up until now only your feet were clay!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 05 - 03:17 PM

I'd just be another crackpot, I'm afraid.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jul 05 - 02:06 PM

If you ever get hired as the punster for a ceramics group you'll urn your keep.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 05 - 12:41 PM

He was all tuckered grout, wedged between a rock and a hard case.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 05 - 12:40 PM

Folks who make ceramics just kiln me! They slip into pot, their eyes glaze, and pretty soon you cone tell what they'll do. I saw one wheel around and around, thinking it was a coil thing to do. The next day he felt like shard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jul 05 - 11:11 AM

That pot sounds like a major distraction in the middle of a lot of stuff you need to be doing. Let us know how it turns out, once you're back home and the power and phone are up again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 11:02 PM

Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out.

Why not make a smoky fire below the pot and let the smoke stupefy the bees? Then you can take down the pot, empty the bees out, and they usually revive later to go on their merry way.

Come on, admit it -- you really want to smoke a little Mexican pot now, doncha?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 09:29 PM

F**k 'em, BWL ... it's only a hobby!!!

And if you don't know that old shaggy dog story, tell me and I'll write out every excruciating turn of it for you here!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 09:02 PM

Speaking of "to bee, or not to bee", I have a moral quandary. I have a terra cotta birdhouse hanging in a tree. It's not a great piece of art or anything but it is handmade and sorta cute. It's not something I or anyone I know made, just some Mexican thing.

Anyway, my quandary is that bumble bees have taken it over and built a hive in it. That's not a problem in itself because I like bees. The problem is that if I leave it up it will surely be broken when Hurricane Dennis gets here in about 48 hours. But since it's full of bumble bees, I don't think I could take it down without inviting being stung. So, do I zap the bees with wasp and hornet spray and save my birdhouse, or do I leave it up and let it and the bees take their chances with 100+ mph winds? I'm leaning toward thinking that the bees are probably doomed anyway, so why should my pot die along with them? And anyway, if I save the pot more bees can use it for a hive later. Oops! I think I just talked myself into becoming a murderer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 07:41 PM

&DAnd just in case you think I make this stuff up, here are a few more scientific tidbits:

  • Research on Deep-Sea Sponge Yields Substantial Mechanical Engineering Insights
  • Philippines confirms first case of bird flu
  • Electricity in a thermos
  • Berkeley Lab Wins Three R 100 Awards: Neural Matrix CCD, Optical Sound Restoration System, Ion Mobility Analysis
  • Deep-sea jelly uses glowing red lures to catch fish
  • Scientists dispel the mystery surrounding Stradivarius violins
  • Study: Fertile women want dominant men



  • A


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Amos
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 07:29 PM

    In other news:

    July 08, 2005
          
    A physicist at the Israel Institute of Technology in Haifa has proposed a new class of time machines that seems to avoid some of the difficulties inherent in other theoretical time machines.

    Like many time machine models, the new proposal requires gravitational fields that curve spacetime in ways that allow observers to travel to their own past. However, unlike previous proposals that have typically required exotic and improbable forms of matter, the new time machine core would consist of a toroidal vacuum embedded in sphere of normal matter.

    Important questions remain, but at the very least the material required to make the machine exists in our universe.

    Publication:

    Amos Ori
    Phys. Rev. Lett. 95, 021101 (2005)
    http://link.aps.org/abstract/PRL/v95/e021101

    Abstract

    Class of Time-Machine Solutions with a Compact Vacuum Core

    We present a class of curved-spacetime vacuum solutions which develop closed timelike curves at some particular moment. We then use these vacuum solutions to construct a time-machine model. The causality violation occurs inside an empty torus, which constitutes the time-machine core. The matter field surrounding this empty torus satisfies the weak, dominant, and strong energy conditions. The model is regular, asymptotically flat, and topologically trivial. Stability remains the main open question.


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Acme
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 06:22 PM

    Said 13-year-old found most of it. MMario, when you get here via the Tavern, be sure you land in the front yard--there are still a couple of local spots out back I'll have to scoop later. They'd have the more typical smell once mashed up into whatever tread is on your shoe. You know the kind I mean--if even just a few molecules of it remain after you've scraped your shoe, the smell is JUST AS STRONG as if the whole pile were stuck to your shoe. The stuff from mortal dogs is pretty powerful. Who knows what kind of universe-bending power the Gluon-strength stuff off-gases. :)


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Acme
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 04:44 PM

    The "local" who usually handles such things here is my 13-year-old son. Which reminds me, time to get him off of the computer and out to go police the grounds before his dad gets here to pick the kids up for the weekend. . .


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: GUEST,MMario
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 03:03 PM

    Just who are you accusing of SWISHING?*

    Lemmee see if I can choose the right door over at the tavern - otherwise you might have to wait for a local.

    How 'bout we buy gluon some of them doggie diapers?







    not that there is anything wrong with swishing.


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Acme
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 02:52 PM

    Yeah, fine. Swell. But what about the pile on my front yard? Which one of you Rocket Scientists™ is going to swish and vibrate on over and pick it up?


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: GUEST,The Great Cosmic Enlightenment
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 01:31 PM

    grasshopper -

    you now know one of the GREAT TRUTHS.


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Amos
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 01:07 PM

    Wow!! So when you come to one of those Great Karmic Forks in the road, and want to make up for past sins by helping the universe out somehow, the question becoes to Bee or not to Bee?

    A


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: GUEST,MMario
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 11:42 AM

    Rapaire - that is what WORMS are for. In fact - "worm" is an acronym (something most people don't realize

    Worldwide
    Optimized
    Restoration (of)
    Mass
    System

    They recycle the non moving into the ecosystem so that it can become MOVING - thus restoring the mass balance.

    And BEEs. another acronym

    Balance
    Energy
    Elevators

    Why do you think they do that vibrating shaky dance on the combs of the hive? Sure, it's been theorized that it is communication of where to find nectar and pollen, but in truth its to rebalence the mass energy systems of the universe - likewise when they stand at the entrance of the hive and vibrate their wings. It's not to cool the hive, it's another facet of energy/mass balance.


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Rapparee
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 10:59 AM

    Okay, so when you move you add to the mass of the Universe. I'm cool with that. And that means that when you die, you stop adding mass to the Universe because you're not moving any more (althought I've heard about people spinning in their graves, which would not only add to the mass of the Universe but create a problem with graves filling up with yarn, not to mention the question of where the wool and stuff comes from -- possibly Dark Matter). But anyway, there are lots more dead people than live people, so that means that the Universe has been losing mass for a very long time. And that brings up the question...

    are we disappearing bit by the bit? And if so, how can we know?


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