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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 01 Sep 06 - 06:02 PM
Acme 02 Sep 06 - 01:19 AM
Acme 02 Sep 06 - 11:17 AM
Acme 02 Sep 06 - 04:53 PM
Acme 02 Sep 06 - 09:40 PM
Amos 03 Sep 06 - 01:48 AM
Bunnahabhain 03 Sep 06 - 08:38 AM
Acme 03 Sep 06 - 02:16 PM
Amos 03 Sep 06 - 03:17 PM
Acme 03 Sep 06 - 06:58 PM
Amos 03 Sep 06 - 10:19 PM
Acme 03 Sep 06 - 11:48 PM
Amos 04 Sep 06 - 01:55 AM
Bunnahabhain 04 Sep 06 - 09:22 AM
Acme 04 Sep 06 - 01:31 PM
Little Hawk 04 Sep 06 - 01:46 PM
Acme 04 Sep 06 - 02:07 PM
Amos 04 Sep 06 - 03:54 PM
Amos 04 Sep 06 - 06:17 PM
Amos 04 Sep 06 - 08:33 PM
Acme 04 Sep 06 - 08:40 PM
Amos 04 Sep 06 - 09:24 PM
Bunnahabhain 05 Sep 06 - 09:01 AM
MMario 05 Sep 06 - 09:18 AM
Bunnahabhain 05 Sep 06 - 09:24 AM
Amos 05 Sep 06 - 11:53 AM
Amos 05 Sep 06 - 05:58 PM
Acme 05 Sep 06 - 06:39 PM
Acme 05 Sep 06 - 08:06 PM
Amos 05 Sep 06 - 08:36 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 05 Sep 06 - 09:29 PM
Desert Dancer 05 Sep 06 - 11:42 PM
Acme 05 Sep 06 - 11:58 PM
Desert Dancer 06 Sep 06 - 12:35 AM
Bunnahabhain 06 Sep 06 - 01:36 AM
Amos 06 Sep 06 - 08:45 AM
Acme 06 Sep 06 - 10:31 AM
Amos 06 Sep 06 - 10:50 AM
Amos 06 Sep 06 - 11:00 AM
Acme 06 Sep 06 - 01:04 PM
MMario 06 Sep 06 - 01:19 PM
Amos 06 Sep 06 - 06:34 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 06 Sep 06 - 10:01 PM
Amos 06 Sep 06 - 10:56 PM
Acme 07 Sep 06 - 01:21 AM
Amos 07 Sep 06 - 08:57 AM
Amos 07 Sep 06 - 11:00 AM
Acme 07 Sep 06 - 11:26 AM
Amos 07 Sep 06 - 02:50 PM
Amos 07 Sep 06 - 02:53 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 06:02 PM

Pleased with ourselves?? I should say so!! Do you realize (of course you do) what an amzing thing we accomplished that day? Years and years in the development, centuries ion the planning, millenia in the contemplation, twined and merged in that single day to produce the one human being capable of being all that young Lennon will become. Of course we were pleased with ourselves. I was so dewt-eyed and gaga over Lennons arrival, when it finally occurred, that I completely forgot to tell him about Rapaire. Fortunately, Rapaire won't notice because by the time he comes back here the thread will have gone long ahead and he will never take the time to find this one lousy paragraph up thread and read it. The only way that would happen is if he were to prove such an insufferable egotist that he searched for his own handle in the body of the thread just to see if anyone said anything about him. But that's unimaginable. No mature human would be so self-centered.

Yes, we were dancing with delight. The new father was a bit fazed, I must say, after two straight days on stand-by and assist duty. He stood for many long minutes over the bassinet in the nursery, toying with his son's fingers, speaking softly to him, admiring his features, and looking far, far with wet eyes. Thus unfolds the next act.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Sep 06 - 01:19 AM

I could have sworn I posted something here after Amos but before I went out to dinner. It has vanished--is that Rapaire playing tricks, maybe hiding behind a tree to see if we really do go along without him, like he's afraid we can?

Ha! Wait behind that tree some more!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Sep 06 - 11:17 AM

Mom, wake up, it's a gorgeous cloudy drizzly day!!! We haven't had one of those since about April. It feels great!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Sep 06 - 04:53 PM

Hey, Amos, you getting wet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Sep 06 - 09:40 PM

Hey, Mom, I spent the morning doing web pages, the afternoon shopping, and now back to web pages. Keep me company as I stare at the screen and coax the scanner to cooperate with my decades-old black and white prints to get some good images to use on these pages. Looks like no one else is around. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 06 - 01:48 AM

I thought I might, this morning, but the day was sunny after all; I spent the morning chatting over coffee, the afternoon picking and singing with a bunch of fine upstanding ne'er-do-wells in Lemon Grove, the evening dining at a fancy restaurant down town and attending some new small theater production. A very enjoyable day. I am not exhausted!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 03 Sep 06 - 08:38 AM

Stilly,

Welcome to a Scottish Summer. In fact, < blink> Welcomr to Scotland any time.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Sep 06 - 02:16 PM

Thanks!

Or my home region of Puget Sound, around Seattle. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 06 - 03:17 PM

I am delighted to see everyone making so nice!

Mom


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Sep 06 - 06:58 PM

Are you channeling again, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 06 - 10:19 PM

No, she came into my room and used my computer.

Wanted to make sure I wasn't playing video games again.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Sep 06 - 11:48 PM

Instead she found you with a silly grin on your face, re-watching that slide show of baby photos, right?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 06 - 01:55 AM

Well, that's what I told her. I hope there's no problem with that?

LOL


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 04 Sep 06 - 09:22 AM

The Html gremlins strike again...

I just keep losing things,
and stuff and bits and bobs,
I put it in the right place,
But is it there? No chance!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Sep 06 - 01:31 PM

Just be sure to get a big healthy dose of the real thing as often as possible!

No postcards from Rapaire yet. Just because it is a federal holiday, that shouldn't slow him down. He needs to send them with Gluon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Sep 06 - 01:46 PM

So, how is it going in the MOABS gulag today?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Sep 06 - 02:07 PM

You missed getting a t-shirt order in, LH. Rapaire is actually going to the Utah town named after our dear Mudcat Mom, and is picking up shirts for those who requested them. And Amos is a granddad now. You've missed tons, just by cavorting with the riffraff out there in the rest of the threads and not checking in on MOM regularly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 06 - 03:54 PM

Alas, alas for little Hawk
Who got embroiled in normal talk
And missed the many great events
Transpiring out by MOAB's tents.
The roaring laughter, and the crowd
Of people interesting and loud
The mesh of magic, wit and tongue
That keep the MOAB always young
And even on her dullest days
Inspire global words of praise.
So let us mourn a jot and tiddle
For dear neglectful pal, Hawk (Little)
Who oft at joining us did balk
And so remained a little Hawk.

Sassafras Poltroon III, Songs to Ketchup Bye
Winsome and Wayes, Boston, 2000. The Murrican Chapbook Series


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 06 - 06:17 PM

And also lost out on the Special Tee Shirt deal,
The gravest loss of all, I feel.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 06 - 08:33 PM

And now that he is conspiring to run off with Penelope Rutledge and help her find True Feminine Equality by spending half of her income for her, we'll see even less of him! Sigh.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Sep 06 - 08:40 PM

Long day, this Labor Day. Someone is ready for a nap, or early to bed!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 06 - 09:24 PM

I've had two already! (Naps, that is.) THis is something I could get used to.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 09:01 AM

Duck!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 09:18 AM

Hi Mom! sorry I haven't been around much. one wedding and a memorial service down, another wedding (in Mississississississississippi this time) tyo go and I get a weekend off!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 09:24 AM

Sorry, false Alarm, it wasn't a meteor. You can all get up now....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 11:53 AM

Nobody said it was a meteor. It was a duck. When you see a duck, you don't yell, "Meteor!", do you? No. So why on earth should you say "Duck" when you see a meteor? Hmmmm? It is like yelling "Chinchilla" when you see a frankfurter, or hollering "Sesquipedalian buffonery" every time you see a bicycle.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 05:58 PM

Hey. HEY! You see that slip? Slippity slip? Down toward the dark at the bottom of the page? With all this hilarity because my posts are just too funny to believe, don't forget to type SOMETHING.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 06:39 PM

I enjoyed the duck remark.

Meteor!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 08:06 PM

Time for dinner, MOM. I have some bread dough ready to shape and put in the baking pan, and some hamburger to put into spaghetti sauce. And some salad and veggies. Come on over and eat with us since Rapaire is out of town all week. Has he been been feeding you? I'll bet you're lonesome with that boy out of town.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 08:36 PM

Mom? Naaaah. Rapaire always drives her crazy with his guns and drums and such. Makes her worry about him.

She's GLAD he's off in summer camp. She told me so.


:D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 09:29 PM

Hi, Mom! I'm in Kayenta, Arizona, in Navaho Country. The North Rim of the Grand Canyon is nice. So is Lee's Ferry, Navaho National Monument, Pipe Spring, and a lot of other places.

More later, Mom.

Your fave kid,

Rapaire


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 11:42 PM

Hellooo, Rapaire, from the southern part of the state!!!   ~ Becky, the lurker in Tucson, so close, and yet so far away across the deserts and mountains


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 11:58 PM

See if Rapaire can leap the big ditch and pay you a call!

How can you "lurk" on this thread and not contribute more often?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 06 Sep 06 - 12:35 AM

I'm without the gift for the fine art of B.S. —I have made a few faltering attempts— although I do enjoy lurking... the company of such masters is intimidating to one of my mousey disposition.

~ B in T


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 06 Sep 06 - 01:36 AM

Do you think at thread title like 'The good side of Wal-Mart' might stir up trouble round here? And do we have the right to ocassionally make trouble?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 06 - 08:45 AM

Why should pointing out the good side of someone make trouble? Cui bono? Chassez la femme! Che uomo! And other expletives.

Walmart brings MANY good things to many good people. IF it happens to steamroll every sall business in a 100-miles radius to do so, is that so wrong?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Sep 06 - 10:31 AM

I was sorely tempted a few weeks ago by WalMart--my ex had some beautiful big apples on his kitchen table when I walked in to pick up the kids. I thought perhaps he'd been by a farmer's market somewhere, but no, he shops at WallyWorld. Big colorful crisp looking Gala and Braeburn and Fuju apples--mouthwatering! I resisted however and found some pretty good ones at a local competing supermarket.

I think we could use a little Southwestern chili pepper commentary here at the MOAB, not just us apple-eaters. The Hatch crop is in and I bet all of New Mexico smells like roasting peppers now--a smell like no other, the harbinger of fall in the desert, the essence of the Southwest. Mmmmmmm! They don't grow them here (at least not in any quantity) that I'm aware of and I don't know if anyone locally roasts them, but I've been in Albuquerque when the parks and parking lots are filled with chili roasters. I carried a hot fragrant box of chilis home for a friend one afternoon and was in heaven when the next day she made a batch of green chili stew.

Arizona may have a different fall crop, tunas and yucca and agave and who knows what else, but does it also have some peppers?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 06 - 10:50 AM

HUMANNESS

That we are free to think or not to think
and live responsibly or irresponsibly,
reflects the essence of what it means to be human.


                   Nathaniel Brandon

Discuss. Does the strength of individual genius and power contribute to or detract from the strength of communities and groups? Vice-versa?

What conditions in a group or community are most likely to bring about individual growth? Inspiration? Creativity? Effectiveness?

What aspects of individuality most enhance the well-being of a group or community?

A

(Note: These essay questions comprise 97.33 per cent of final grade.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 06 - 11:00 AM

Bunna,

I bit my tongue and posted in suppor tof your "Good Side of Walmart" thesis; but I have to say I think it is going to be a hard sell.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Sep 06 - 01:04 PM

Same here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Sep 06 - 01:19 PM

well - when you live in a "rural wasteland" where the small retail stores all went out of business 5-10 years BEFORE there was even a proposal for a Wal-mart; when a large segment of local population is employed ONLY due to Wal-mart; and when wal-mart is the only source of many products under a two hour drive; where wal-mart has the SAME product as those two-hour distant stores for less; Wal-mart is looked on differently.

Which is not to excuse their variou sshady business practices, etc. But Wal-mart has provided a badly needed presence in many rural areas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 06 - 06:34 PM

A POME FER MAUM

Kashran Dahu! The corian mithramb tyles
Wracking undelixed fernor times along the slanting screets
Kashran! Again, the moanful arnill hiles
And succoured bedlam tries agroan to fleet.
Begash, begash! The elder moondial sterned
Against cooranian mashcombs prolish to the flame
And never til the seeping frylich shades retake,
Does ever a noun recall its name.

Androidal Tennisham
"As Oft by Yon Stream I Wandered"
London, 1813


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 06 Sep 06 - 10:01 PM

I saw Jerry Rasmussen! There he and Ruth were, standing on the South Rim of the Grand Canyon, waving to me on the North Rim! I knew it was Jerry because he was wearing a white flower like he said he would.

MOAB tomorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 06 - 10:56 PM

One of the 100 most memorable openings to a book written yet in English:

" In the last years of the Seventeenth Century there was to be found among the fops and fools of the London coffee-houses one rangy, gangling flitch called Ebenezer Cooke, more ambitious than talented, and yet more talented than prudent, who, like his friends-in-folly, all of whom were supposed to be educating at Oxford or Cambridge, had found the sound of Mother English more fun to game with than her sense to labor over, and so rather than applying himself to the pains of scholarship, had learned the knack of versifying, and ground out quires of couplets after the fashion of the day, afroth with Joves and Jupiters, aclang with jarring rhymes, and string-taut with similes stretched to the snapping-point. "

?John Barth, The Sot-Weed Factor (1960)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 01:21 AM

Hey MOM, Rapaire is telling lies again! He said he saw Jerry, but Jerry lives in Connecticut, so how could he be wearing a white flower on the south rim of the Big Ditch, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 08:57 AM

SOme eyeballs that cat is carryin', man. That's a long haul to see across andmake out one little flower. They probably thought it was Dick Cheney they were seeing over there...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 11:00 AM

Dear Mom, in just eighteen posts more,
Your count will reach to 700 score,
A towering height, and grounds for satisfaction.
But, let not comon sense yield to distraction
Or pride inflate the spirit past all telling
For brains are oftened ruined, over-swelling.

And lest we be misled by glory's thunder
Remember 14 grand is just a number,
Not a beach-head, summit or high star.
There are toher things which more important are!
Though none can doubt you for endurance,
Let me add, as pride-insurance,

That some songs (metal, acid, ads and rap)
Are not real music -- they're just crap.
Thus with BS -- the world of minds
Can churn it out in different kinds
And measure it in color or degree,
And guage it on its quality.

And whether red, or blue or ochre,
A lot of yours is mediocre.
Having the most does not mean best,
You've miles to go, before you rest.
Therefore, Dear Mom, keep right on walking
No laurels here, or idle talking,
But onward, onward, onward press!

Search on for pure, refined BS,
The kind that makes the roof and rafter
Tremble in unexpected laughter
Or jars the mind out of the soul
And pulls Rapaire out of his hole.
There is the quest, and worth pursuing!
So onward, Mom! Be up and doing!

Winnifred Insecurity Viagara Spamm IV
"Poems of a Thousand Monkeys"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 11:26 AM

Where did you learn to do math, Amos? It looks to me like 108 is the number of posts we have to launch to get to the next big target. Where does this 700 come from? (I'm going in for new glasses on Monday, so maybe that's what is going on here? They're reflecting a different image to my poor tired eyes these days?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 02:50 PM

Oh, looky dere -- I moved a decimal place!! Now I yam all Dewey eyed with remorse. Ask Rapaire if I can borrow his dewey decimal system.

So we need to edit this Pome so it says, "With just 106 posts more..." (assuming this will be 13894). 700 is the number of score (20 each) Mom will reach when she arrives at post 14,000.

But the rest, and the spirit of the thing, is quite right. Poets who do math are improbable.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 02:53 PM

Besides, your argument is with Winnifred Insecurity Viagara Spamm IV, who wrote the thing, and should know a thing about premature enumeration if anyone does.


A


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