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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 10 Dec 14 - 02:33 AM
Rapparee 09 Dec 14 - 08:03 PM
Rapparee 09 Dec 14 - 07:59 PM
Acme 09 Dec 14 - 07:57 PM
Rapparee 09 Dec 14 - 10:36 AM
gnu 09 Dec 14 - 05:25 AM
Amos 09 Dec 14 - 02:15 AM
Rapparee 08 Dec 14 - 09:00 PM
gnu 08 Dec 14 - 12:03 PM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 14 - 11:06 AM
Rapparee 08 Dec 14 - 07:28 AM
Acme 07 Dec 14 - 10:39 PM
Rapparee 07 Dec 14 - 08:54 PM
Amos 07 Dec 14 - 08:47 PM
Little Hawk 07 Dec 14 - 07:15 PM
Rapparee 07 Dec 14 - 06:56 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 07 Dec 14 - 06:49 PM
gnu 07 Dec 14 - 06:37 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 07 Dec 14 - 05:49 PM
Rapparee 07 Dec 14 - 03:39 PM
gnu 07 Dec 14 - 03:34 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 07 Dec 14 - 02:03 PM
gnu 07 Dec 14 - 01:39 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 07 Dec 14 - 12:36 PM
Rapparee 07 Dec 14 - 09:40 AM
Rapparee 06 Dec 14 - 10:05 PM
gnu 06 Dec 14 - 04:55 PM
Amos 06 Dec 14 - 02:52 PM
Rapparee 05 Dec 14 - 06:43 PM
Rapparee 05 Dec 14 - 04:07 PM
Rapparee 05 Dec 14 - 04:05 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 05 Dec 14 - 01:10 PM
gnu 05 Dec 14 - 12:21 PM
Amos 05 Dec 14 - 12:13 PM
gnu 05 Dec 14 - 10:13 AM
GUEST 05 Dec 14 - 09:31 AM
GUEST 05 Dec 14 - 07:00 AM
Little Hawk 04 Dec 14 - 11:59 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 14 - 09:17 PM
Little Hawk 04 Dec 14 - 06:31 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 14 - 06:27 PM
Little Hawk 04 Dec 14 - 06:23 PM
gnu 04 Dec 14 - 02:47 PM
Amos 04 Dec 14 - 11:22 AM
Rapparee 04 Dec 14 - 09:20 AM
Acme 04 Dec 14 - 12:44 AM
Rapparee 03 Dec 14 - 09:55 PM
Little Hawk 03 Dec 14 - 06:28 PM
Rapparee 03 Dec 14 - 06:04 PM
Amos 03 Dec 14 - 04:59 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 14 - 02:33 AM

Fumus is a piss-poor choice to translate "Puff", Rapp.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 14 - 08:03 PM

Here's a song we can all sing:

Fumus, draco magus
Incoluit mare.
Lusit autumnal'illic
Maritimo Hanalo.

Parvus Marcus Iulus
Lasciv'amavit.
Marcus dedit olivas
Et alia dona.

Chorus: (bis)
Ha, Fumus, draco magus
Incoluit mare.
Lusit autumnal'illic
Maritimo Hanalo.

Vexerunt coniunctim
Scapha magica;
Stetit cauda Fumi
Et illic vigilavit.

Reges, duces, patres
Coluerunt eis.
Piratae se tradiderunt
Mugente Fumo sic:

Chorus:

Draco nunquam mutat,
Sed puer fiat vir.
Ludi liberum brevi
Substituent rebus.

Gravi noct'accidit.
Marcus Iulus abiit.
Fumus, draco magnus,
Destitit mugitum.

Tum lacrimavit draco,
Et posuit squamas.
Nunquam rursum hic luderet
Cum amico Marco.

Sine socio,
Non sensit se fortem.
Fumus, draco magnus,
Ad speluncam repsit.

Chorus


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 14 - 07:59 PM

I hope that Shane takes to the Reverend Mr. Walther and opens his heart, however black and sinful, to salvation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 14 - 07:57 PM

Fingers do recover from laborious, repetitive tasks.

MOM, I know Rap posted this morning but you're already third from the bottom. Upsadaisy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 14 - 10:36 AM

Shucks, that book is published every year just to keep up with current weaponry. But it would be nice to have your father's copy. I don't have enough of my father's stuff, hardly any in fact, as I was five when he died. I do have his sawset, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Dec 14 - 05:25 AM

MP-38/40... dunno why I was thinking mm. I was also thinking Parachuten instead of Parabellum. I woulda looked it up but Bro borrowed Dad's book "Small Arms of the World" years ago and never brought it back. Now, it has vanished along with all the other stuff he "borrowed".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 14 - 02:15 AM

Stilly, thanks for the fine gustatory treats. If you have worked your fingers to the bone, don't the bones tend to fall out? I am not sure I undeerstand. At best you'd end up with bony fingers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 14 - 09:00 PM

It appears to be a 9 x 19mm Parabellum, probably an MP-40.

The Reverend Mr. Walther also has an MP-38 and some other things. Exactly what I don't know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Dec 14 - 12:03 PM

Is that a 38mm or a 40mm, Rap? 40s were rare I believe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 14 - 11:06 AM

The good Reverend Walther looks like a man who fights hard to keep people on the righteous path, Rap. If Chongo was looking for a reverend, I don't think he could find one more suited to his way of being. As for Shane, I think he'd be speechless...more or less.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 14 - 07:28 AM

Thank you. I've just had two slices of homemade bread with plum jelly made with honey and it was quite tasty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Dec 14 - 10:39 PM

While you guys have been duking it out I've been working my fingers to the bone. There is hot turkey soup and fresh hot bread in the kitchen. You're welcome.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 14 - 08:54 PM

I shall refrain in the future from calling Shane names or saying anything bad about him. In fact, I can't think of anything bad to say about him. I know now that he isn't responsible for his sins, for his poor hygiene, for his ignorance, for his abuse of the Temple which is his body and his soul. So I have ask my friend, the Reverend Walther, to come to Shane and explain why he should repent of his ways and walk the paths of Righteousness. I've included a link to his picture so that Shane can easily recognize him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 14 - 08:47 PM

Godliness and Rapparee in one paragraph? The dissonance doth wreak havoc upon the reading soul!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Dec 14 - 07:15 PM

I hope you succeed in leading Shane to godliness, Rap...(if not cleanliness). It could be the start of a whole new era of enlightenment and sobriety in Blind River.

Meanwhile, here is a picture of one of Shane's distant cousins, "Scooter" McBride of Alamaba and his common law wife Raylene. Scooter sees himself as a heroic figure who will lead America out of its present darkness and ignorance and into the light of true freedom. His greatest role models are Sarah Palin, Ted Nugent, Hulk Hogan, and The Undertaker. He plans on a major career in Hollywood.

Scooter and Raylene


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 14 - 06:56 PM

I understand, Shane. Your inner anger can be channeled into Good if you will only answer His call. I have and now live a wonderful life doing good. No alcohol, only pure water; no adulterated food; no late hours and only good thoughts and good deeds.

Would you like me to contact some people in Blind River to come and pray with you?

Don't reject Him!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 07 Dec 14 - 06:49 PM

I hearn that Latin is a dead lagnwedge, eh? So it must be that zombies are the only ones who speak Latin. And that means that Rappoop is a flippin' zombie!

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Dec 14 - 06:37 PM

Latin? No shit? Cool. No wonder I didn't have a fuckin clue. I hope it was cool shit what was bein said.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 07 Dec 14 - 05:49 PM

Am I all right with the..........FLIP OFF!!! I don't need yer flippin' reeligeous advice, eh?

Hey, gnu, I feel Dale's pain, eh? It is just not fare how honessed people like me and Dale can't have our own grow-up and make some desent cash sellin' good dope legal and it is all becoz of Harper and becoz of cops! It is a flippin' disgraice. The Crime Minister! LOL!!! That is what he is allright. If he comes to Blind River I will put a mudpie right in his flippin' face! Or maybe a cow pie.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 14 - 03:39 PM

Now, now, Shane. That's Latin, not French. I have repented of my bad conduct and I must ask: Are YOU right with The Lord?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Dec 14 - 03:34 PM

Dale was doin okay workin back at the Irving in Chipman. How he ever got his job back is a wonder. How he kept it as long as he did was even more so. But, since he was just pokin fun at Daisy an she was serious, along came Darren at 12 pounds three ounces so he hung in fer as long as he could. A tad that big sucks up some serious soup. He had ta make some coin but ya just can't offer boo at the pumps right? If ya don't have millions of dollars ta get a grow licence and get certification fer yer medical pot then ya can't be a farmer or a vendor. The judge was sympathetic but the law is strict when it comes to medical pot and, well, the law is the law? only rich people can make good coin growin pot and not end up in jail. Ask Crime Minister Harper. He'll tell ya. So, Daisy is raisin another one on her own while Dale does a third? if he behaves? until Harper gets his "minimum" bullshit law passed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 07 Dec 14 - 02:03 PM

Hey, man, how is Dale doin'?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Dec 14 - 01:39 PM

Must be La Belle Province French or maybe that there France French on accounta I can't follow it neether. VIVE L'ACADIE!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 07 Dec 14 - 12:36 PM

You are such a flippin' lier! Nobody will believe your big act! Nobuddy! You are the same stupid fliphead you always was and every body knows it, eh? And stop writin' stuff in French for flip's sake!

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 14 - 09:40 AM

good morrow, worthy gentlefolk. can you humble servant do anything for you? i have begun the first part of my penance and humiliated myself by not using upper case letters to demonstrate a surrendering of the self.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 14 - 10:05 PM

Iambic tetrameter, rather common. Try trochee or better, iamic dodecameter.

Wait, I've been bad. I'm sorry and will do penance. I apologize to everyone, even Shame. I shall reform and never do anything like those things again. Ever.

Confiteor Deo omnipotenti, beatae Mariae semper virgini, beato Michaeli archangelo, beato Joanni Baptistae, sanctis Apostolis Petro et Paulo, omnibus Sanctis, et tibi, Pater, quia peccavi nimis cogitatione, verbo, et opere, mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. Ideo precor beatam Mariam semper virginem, beatum Michaelem archangelum, beatum Joannem Baptistam, sanctos Apostolos Petrum et Paulum, omnes Sanctos, et te, Pater, orare pro me ad Dominum Deum nostrum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Dec 14 - 04:55 PM

BRAVO! BRAVO!!! I SAY!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Dec 14 - 02:52 PM

Pro Simius Non Misericordia


A man of style, a man of looks
A soldier, given now to books
A man of thought, and nearly great
Until his heart succumbed to fate.
WHen anger salted down his soul
And bitterness imposed its toll.
His spirit paled, began to limp,
Because of hatred for a chimp.
Oh once so strong, so bold, so spunky
Brought low by anger at a monkey!
The mighty fall! The senses lapse!
The mind's strong center nears collapse!
Ah woe, that a man could ever feel
Such anger at a thing not real!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 14 - 06:43 PM

Dear Mr. or Ms. Chimp,

This is to inform you that you do not have the chance of snowball in a thermonuclear explosion of continuing with your PI license, much less being President of the United States.

And please stop whining about how you'll change all this when you're elected because it ain't gonna happen, punk.

Sincerely yours,
You Know Who


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 14 - 04:07 PM

I was the earlier guests today. Or they were...was...me


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 14 - 04:05 PM

Shame is in denial then. I'm not surprised as he undoubtedly has lost the memories in his alcohol-induced stupor. Pity, what with the money involved and all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 05 Dec 14 - 01:10 PM

I never met the flippin' chimp or monkey or what ever the flip it is, and I don't think he even flippin' exsists in the first place, eh? And I never been to England neether.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Dec 14 - 12:21 PM

But... there is only one me even if I have "voices". That there be one a them thoughtologies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 14 - 12:13 PM

Any one of myriad voices, I reckon...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Dec 14 - 10:13 AM

Of course it was from you. Who else would it be from?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Dec 14 - 09:31 AM

That last post was from me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Dec 14 - 07:00 AM

Okay. I'll go to a clinical psychologist at 10 a.m. (MST) today because you suggested it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 14 - 11:59 PM

You definitely need help! Find a therapist and do it without delay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 14 - 09:17 PM

Shame McBride was, according to information in the Operation North Pole files of the RCMP, asking Santa Claus for a pet monkey until about two years ago. At that time he thanked Santa for bringing him one and named "Jongo Chump" at the monkey; investigation by the RCMP determined that this was "Chongo Chimp" of Chicago, Illinois, USA.

I understand that "Bad Penny" Rutledge had a brief fling with Chongo a few years back. Her niece, "Venereal Veronica" had one with Shame. This resulted in VV being banned from Canada and Shame was sent home from England and told "don't come back."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 14 - 06:31 PM

He doesn't want a monkey. He wants free beer, free smokes, free pizza, and loose women.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 14 - 06:27 PM

Shame always wanted a monkey and apparently he got one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 14 - 06:23 PM

It never ceases to amaze me the lengths that you will go to, Rapparee, to disparage and demean my stable of online characters. And you keep trying to kill them off! How insensitive. I think you should seek professional help. The idea that Chongo and Shane would be even remotely attracted to one another is so ludicrous that it isn't even worth considering.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Dec 14 - 02:47 PM

Has this been reported to Fucks News?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 14 - 11:22 AM

BOSEG to Mister R for his reporting acumen!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 14 - 09:20 AM

GAD!!! This just in:

SHAME MCBRIDE, CHONGO CHILD DIED IN LOVE NEST SUICIDE PACT

Shame McBride, the well-known drunk from Blind River, Ontario and Chongo Chimp, were found dead together several months ago. It was thought at the time that McBride had attempted to mug Chimp and things had gone wrong for both of them.

Police documents released today paint a different story.

Chimp became aware of McBride during a visit three years ago by McBride to Chicago. They were attracted to each other and became close.

One of the letters made it clear what attracted this alleged cross-species couple. Chimp wrote, "I love the way the grease in your hair makes [a sexual act] easier but I must remember to groom you beforehand." McBride responded, "Yeh and I like too feel yo doin it to."

Things did not go well and in late August or early September Chimp visited McBride in Blind River. They decide that "our kind of love is doomed" (in Chimp's word) and agreed to a suicide pact.

This was completed on October 8 and they were found linked in each others arms on November 1. The causes of death was listed as "anoxia" and "ingestion of fleas."

McBride is survived by his brother Donald of Blind River and Chimp is reported to have a sister working in customer service in the Northeast. No services are scheduled.


                      -- Igloolik "News and Sun", December 4, 2014
                         "Elliot Lake Standard", December 3, 2014


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Dec 14 - 12:44 AM

Same system, different university. I guess if someone calls them "bone headed" down in Austin it's because there is nothing to pad the inside of their skulls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 14 - 09:55 PM

You're right, LH, and my respect for W just went up a notch. It can now be best expressed mathematically as the square root of negative infinity minus one. This is, of course, only an approximation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Dec 14 - 06:28 PM

Texas is a place that goes to extremes. No Chimpanzee has ever been elected to public office down there. Not one! And George W. Bush was elected Governor of Texas! This hardly seems fair.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 14 - 06:04 PM

I'm not sure if this headline isn't worse:

University of Texas: Missing brains were destroyed

By Gawd, son, they do things RAHT down there in Texas!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 14 - 04:59 PM

Only in Texas. Caveat cogitor!


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