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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST 14 Apr 05 - 04:05 AM
Rapparee 14 Apr 05 - 09:12 AM
Bunnahabhain 14 Apr 05 - 09:23 AM
Bunnahabhain 14 Apr 05 - 10:33 AM
Acme 14 Apr 05 - 10:37 AM
Bunnahabhain 14 Apr 05 - 10:38 AM
GUEST,MMario 14 Apr 05 - 11:03 AM
Amos 14 Apr 05 - 01:01 PM
Acme 14 Apr 05 - 04:23 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 05 - 04:33 PM
Amos 14 Apr 05 - 05:11 PM
Bunnahabhain 14 Apr 05 - 07:54 PM
michaelr 15 Apr 05 - 12:58 AM
Rapparee 15 Apr 05 - 09:18 AM
Amos 15 Apr 05 - 11:08 AM
GUEST,MMario 15 Apr 05 - 11:23 AM
Acme 15 Apr 05 - 11:37 AM
Rapparee 15 Apr 05 - 12:05 PM
Amos 15 Apr 05 - 12:14 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 05 - 03:45 PM
Acme 15 Apr 05 - 08:13 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 05 - 09:47 PM
Rustic Rebel 16 Apr 05 - 03:31 AM
Amos 16 Apr 05 - 09:28 AM
GUEST,Chuckles 16 Apr 05 - 10:08 AM
GUEST 16 Apr 05 - 10:28 AM
Acme 16 Apr 05 - 08:07 PM
Rapparee 16 Apr 05 - 08:24 PM
Amos 16 Apr 05 - 09:44 PM
Rapparee 16 Apr 05 - 09:47 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 16 Apr 05 - 10:24 PM
GUEST,Chuckles 17 Apr 05 - 01:17 AM
Amos 17 Apr 05 - 06:01 AM
Rapparee 17 Apr 05 - 09:17 AM
GUEST,Chuckles 17 Apr 05 - 11:12 AM
Amos 17 Apr 05 - 12:41 PM
GUEST,Loooooooooooooooong John Sliver 17 Apr 05 - 03:29 PM
rumanci 17 Apr 05 - 03:36 PM
Rapparee 17 Apr 05 - 08:07 PM
Acme 17 Apr 05 - 11:48 PM
Rapparee 18 Apr 05 - 08:22 AM
Acme 18 Apr 05 - 03:35 PM
Amos 18 Apr 05 - 03:38 PM
Rapparee 18 Apr 05 - 06:08 PM
Acme 18 Apr 05 - 10:33 PM
Rapparee 19 Apr 05 - 08:57 AM
Amos 19 Apr 05 - 09:03 AM
Acme 19 Apr 05 - 10:30 AM
Rapparee 19 Apr 05 - 11:03 AM
Amos 19 Apr 05 - 02:10 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 04:05 AM

Fire is still burning, yet I am compelled to sit upon a naked journey with one sock on.
Sky is brighter than I remember it , and I see Mars in the horizon, I believe sweat under the breast is a good reason.,
Reason to feel a warmth of a flame,
reason to be an un-explained
reason for a season to be re-named
reason to suck up the explained...
Into a journey that was left for the naked and the insane.
I will no doubt be un-named,...
for this.


I sucked up the smoke and I felt warmed all over, but I kept falling over the sticks.
I did keep the fire going though........


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 09:12 AM

I want to see if Amos can find where I swip...er, quoted...that bit of song lyric from. And then he can explain it.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Talk about OBSCURE! Maybe I'll post the whole thing as a "Lyrics Add."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 09:23 AM

To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under heaven.
A time to be born, a time to die,
A time to sow, a time to reap,
And a time to put MOAB on top!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 10:33 AM

I was going to make a post just to MOAB on top, but I decided it wasn't needed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 10:37 AM

It took about 2 seconds to land on this, Rap.

The Lords of the Camus
By E.Wilson, 1887

Tune: Bonnie Dundee

To the Lords of the Camus, 'twas Girton who cried,
"You call me a College, but one thing's denied;"
Then let each fusty don feel his duty to be,
That women should speedily get the degree.

Chorus:

Come grant me the B., come grant me the A.;
Come make me your equal without more delay;
Then let each learned maid who loved Pindar or pi,
Let her hasten to Girton that standeth on high.

For Girton has shown us again and again
That her students can equal, nay distance the men;
And Cambridge perplexed says, "I fear it is plain
That we'll have to cave in if she keeps up this strain."

Chorus:

etc.

There are dons beyond Cambridge and brains beyond Caius;
If you've men by the Cam, we have maids by the leas;
And hard-working students full six score and three
Will cry "Justice to Girton; come grant the degree!"

Chorus:

etc.

Then away to the Tripos, Little-Go, Mays;
The plough-share shall never the College debase.
Then tremble, ye dons, in the midst of your glee,
For you've not heard the last of my students and me.

Chorus:

etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 10:38 AM

Vstavaitye, lyudi russkiye,
na slavny boi, na smyertny boi;
vstavaitye, lyudi vol'niye
za nashu zyemlyu chestnuya!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 11:03 AM

Call me a prude but there are some things a child of any age really doesn't need to know about their parents - and whether or not Mom prefers to be on top is one of them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 01:01 PM

Then why do the kids keep pushing her up there?


A

Rapaire you are a Committed Lazy Lifter (CLL). You deserve institutionalization to deal with this deep-seated illness.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 04:23 PM

Here is the appropriate institution.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 04:33 PM

Ah, but you still haven't explained the reason for the song! (And by the way, I really do have the appropriate Old School Tie.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 05:11 PM

When did you change genders, then? Expiring minds want to know...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 07:54 PM

I don't think he wanted to change gender before he got into the all Female college...Where would the fun be in that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: michaelr
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 12:58 AM

MOAB was not a Hebrew country, but there was enough food there, so they stayed...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 09:18 AM

Gender. Okay, a typical problem from work and the sort of thing I don't have to put up with each day.

Linda is in a wheelchair. Linda is "transgender." Linda uses our women's toilet. No problem, except that Linda is finished transgendering -- s/he has a full, bushy, beard and other definitely male characteristics (visible ones -- we haven't checked the other and really don't want to) and we KNOW that there's gonna be a scream and complaint. So we've suggested to Linda that s/he use the "unisex facilities" on the second floor as they are far better suited to chair-bound people (we've suggested the same to other chair-bound folks). Linda goes to visit City Hall, uses the Women's there. City Hall calls the cops.

Ah, the stuff I wasn't taught in Library School!

As for my own gender change -- probably around July or August, 1944.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 11:08 AM

Well then, he stole the old school tie from one of the girls, probably during a night of frolic and inebriation. Indubitably so. Whether or not to report him at this late date is an ethical quandary left as an exercise for the student.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 11:23 AM

?? Which direction did Linda go? if female to male - and done - why doesn't s/he use the MALE restroom?

If the other direction - why keep the beard?

very confused.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 11:37 AM

Cute. Totally unrelated to the wo/man in the restroom, but cute.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 12:05 PM

Linda was/is going from man to woman. Whether or not this involves a change in genetic makeup from XY to XX I really can't say, but it should.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 12:14 PM

I think that is how people driven to transgender operations feel about life, generally, Mag!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 03:45 PM

The following list of items are considered a minimum for the 21st Century outdoorsman. You may wish to add items but don't go out into the field without the minimum. Always dress for the occasion: You want clothing to live in, not to be found dead in.
        Knife: Big enough to do the job safely.
        Matches: Kitchen type in a waterproof container, such as a film canister.
        Plastic Whistle: Short range signaling.
        Signal Mirror: Signaling search aircraft.
        Fire Starter: Make them yourself by rubbing candle wax into patches of cotton.
        Aluminum Foil: 18" x 18" forming a cooking utensil.
        Cordage or String: Securing shelters, setting gill nets and snares.
        Snare Wire: Brass annealed for animal snares and repairs.
        Fish Tackle
        Hooks
        Line
        Sinkers
        Leader and/or 1" Gill Net.
        Map and Compass: Know how to use.
        Plastic Sheet, Rescue Blanket or Large Plastic Leaf Bag.
        Food: High energy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 08:13 PM

Gill net?

Gill net?

Gill Net?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 09:47 PM

When my youngest brother was in survival school (courtesy of the USAF) they taught him to make fishing nets. The instructor said, "It's a way to occupy yourself until you're rescued."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 03:31 AM

Fire is still burning, yet I am compelled to sit upon a naked journey with one sock on
It may still be that way, or it may be that my pants have only gone as far as my knees, ,
And I was left here to try and please..
The masses of the insane and the bullshitters of the inane.
please reconsider a subjective for-thought, for-skin, for-gratuity, fore-generation, fore-recreation, fore sought, not forgot seldom heard of thought.

My pants lay around my knees and I feel so confined I cannnot hardly tell you what it really feels like, HA! except that I feel confined.
I tossed a lost soul from my van tonight without a thought of making him walk 10 miles in the dark. Shouldn't fuck with gratuity.
I suddenly like the sound of tossed gratuity. makes me all shivery and inconsistant with the way I really am, but it is,what it was and I ain't going to change it now.

By the way, It was a guest that I was on the early morn of the other day singing a naked theme by the fire with one sock on.
Did anyone know my prose or consider it to be a drunken prologue to what was to come?
If you know me , then you knew. If you don't it was a stranger to you.
Ha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 09:28 AM

I t was unmistakable, RR. Absolutely!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chuckles
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 10:08 AM

I'm outa here. You are so screwed up I don't see how you put up with yourselves, much less how come Bubba Bubba could.

I went to deecee and looked for the Bee-Dubya-Ell. I thought that itshehe would most likely be in a building called "The National Air And Space Museum" because it seemed large enough to contain such a thing but the creature was not there (Bubba Bubba used to say, "Size COUNTS!"). I looked at a thing called "The Washington Monument" for the same reason, assuming that the Bee-Dubya-Ell was attempting to hide underground, but sheithe wasn't there, either.

I did not get the Bee-Dubya-Ell. I did collect several pellets of a copper-lead mixture, which were forced beneath my integument by a forceful expansion of gases. While these tickled, I did have to stop protein-based creatures from used explosives upon me. Not that such would damage me, but others might be hurt.

Once you start on protein-based creatures it's very hard to stop. I have gained several additional levels of potential energy during my visit to deecee.

But what has prompted my decision to leave is not the additional mass I gained in deecee, but the realization that all of you produce more of what is called "BS" than any other group of semi- and pseudo- sentient creatures in the Universe. Not the galaxy, the Universe. You are drowning it, it is and has been well over your breathing orifices, and yet you seem unaware of it. And you keep it from becoming useful compost by rushing around.

Forget it. If the Bee-Dubya-Ell is in our neighborhood I'll do what is necessary. Bubba Bubba would understand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 10:28 AM

Wa to go, Chucklehead. You figgered the puzzle out and are taking the only really decent course of action. I applaud your integrity.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 08:07 PM

Chuckles's Spaceship


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 08:24 PM

Tomorrow I must fly to Boise. I have a meeting there on Monday. I will fly home on Monday and be home in time for dinner. Usually I don't fly to Boise. Usually I don't fly anywhere. Usually I get in the car and drive. Thursday I drove to Idaho Falls. Usually I just drive to work and then back home. I used to drive a lot more than I do now. I used to drive for an hour each way to and from work. That was usually boring, but sometimes there were blizzards and then it got exciting. Once I even had an accident; that was REALLY exciting. But tomorrow I fly to Boise. I will rent a car at the Boise Airport, because I sure as hell don't want to be in Boise without wheels. Actually, I don't want to go to this meeting at all. But I will, because I have an overly developed sense of responsibility. And I am, much to my dismay, the Chair of the Idaho Library Association Conference, which will be held here in October. This is not one of my favorite things to do. Actually, my favorite thing would be for people to give me lots of money, regularily, just because I add so much to everyone's life simply by existing. But tomorrow I must fly to Boise.

Damn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 09:44 PM

Look at it as a spare Status Slot, Rapaire -- if the Mudcat goes down permanently, so you can't pull MOAB rank or be "Big Rapaire the Ineffable and All-Citing", you have another "important" identity to fall back on!!

Hey, better than having only hardscrabble denim identities, and it beats working for a living! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 09:47 PM

I ain't a-citin' anymore.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 10:24 PM

Yo! Chuckles! I have a package for a Mr.Zimfmanduur on the third planet from the star we earth folks call Sirius. Is that on your way to wherever you're going? Could you drop it off for me? It'd save about $37,348,974.50 in postage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chuckles
Date: 17 Apr 05 - 01:17 AM

Woof woof! Sirius is easy! Sirius isn't serious.

Leave your package in the dumpster at the corner of Seventh Avenue and 14th Street in Manhattan, over by the smoke shop. My pal Jimmy will pick it up for the ship.

Chuckles


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 05 - 06:01 AM

Say, man -- Chuck, baby -- you got, um, like diplomatic priveleges?? Ya know, where they won't look at your stuff? BeeDubya fergot to ask.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 05 - 09:17 AM

Wire Palindrome, Pocatello.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chuckles
Date: 17 Apr 05 - 11:12 AM

Diplomatic priveleges are unnecessary. They apply only to rubber-tyred conveyances to which officials post slips of paper. None bother my dumpsters. Let Jimmy know if you have a delivery. Don't offer to feed him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 05 - 12:41 PM

Geeze, Chuck baby, we gotta business proposition for ya, in that case. You know that old song by "Old and In the Way" called Panama Red? We're thinking of cultural transmission on a galactic basis here, pal. The opportunities are mind-boggling. You know anything about your life-form's metabolism of resinous combustion by-products, by the way?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Loooooooooooooooong John Sliver
Date: 17 Apr 05 - 03:29 PM

Ahoy and avast, mateys! 'Tis old Looooooooooooooooooooong John Sliver come back to haunt ye! Did I ever tell ye about the night that I was ship's ghost to HMS Pinupfore? Aye, and that was a time! The Royal Navy was shippin' a ship load o' tarts from Liverpool to Scapa Flow for the enjoyment of Admiral Lord Nelson and the crew of HMS Victory Victory O! She was the first ship of her class, she was, and the Admiralty had taken to numbering the names of the ships, since they'd reuse the good ones over and over, and someone had pointed out to the Godalmighty Chief High Lord of the Admiralty that numbering should start with zero, only the person has said "Oh" instead. Eventually THAT scheme was scrapped, and good riddance to it, says I.

Well, this shipload of tarts was bound for Scapa Flow and Nelson when an iceberg struck Pinupfore as we were rounding John O'Groats. Terrible big, it was, and it crushed the ship between rocks and ice.

Bein' a ghost, I wasn't worried, but the young ladies were quite upset, not knowing what was going to happen to them. There was no help in sight, even though the Cap'n shot off rockets every five minutes, and fired the minute gun, and yelled for help. The ship was going down, for the aft forecastle was stove in and the fire had nearly reached the magazines in the passenger lounge.

Gi' a salty old ghost a tot o' rum, now, would ya?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 17 Apr 05 - 03:36 PM

From one spirit to another - how big a tot ?

rum


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 05 - 08:07 PM

From earlier posts by Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong John, probably about 18 years old or so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Apr 05 - 11:48 PM

Other posts


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 05 - 08:22 AM

Johnny Sliver seems to vary the number of ohs in his Long. He posted several times to the "Meet The Giant Squid" thread, each time with varying ohs. Maybe it depends on how long he feels that day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 05 - 03:35 PM

I had that same thought, but wasn't going to go trying all of the variables. I considered myself lucky to find three of them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 05 - 03:38 PM

You could have searched for "Looo" :)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 05 - 06:08 PM

YOU search the loo!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 05 - 10:33 PM

Didn't work. You go poke around in the Loo and see what kind of sh*t you can come up with. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 08:57 AM

The grayness of Spring colors my soul,
And the troubled river,
Full of flood,
Carries its sticks from eddy to eddy
Until at last they find rest on the soft, silent bottom of the sea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 09:03 AM

Gee, Rapaire, that's right purty.

Did you write it?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 10:30 AM

That's a contradictory little pome, Rapaire. Grayness of spring? Down here it's bright green.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 11:03 AM

Can't you track the source? I found it.

BWAHAHAHAHA!

--"The Lifter"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 02:10 PM

Fie, you are a scoundrel and a plague-pox'd plagiarist; what sin, for one such as you, to place another's words under your name!! Th'art a demon in librarian's sheeply raiment, and a wicked, lazy, licentious lifter!!

A


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