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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 13 Jan 12 - 07:53 PM
Rapparee 13 Jan 12 - 07:07 PM
Little Hawk 13 Jan 12 - 02:15 PM
Acme 13 Jan 12 - 01:34 PM
Amos 13 Jan 12 - 10:04 AM
Rapparee 13 Jan 12 - 09:45 AM
Acme 13 Jan 12 - 12:08 AM
Rapparee 12 Jan 12 - 09:13 PM
Acme 12 Jan 12 - 08:58 PM
Rapparee 12 Jan 12 - 08:39 PM
gnu 12 Jan 12 - 08:19 PM
Little Hawk 12 Jan 12 - 07:18 PM
Amos 12 Jan 12 - 07:11 PM
Rapparee 12 Jan 12 - 04:54 PM
gnu 12 Jan 12 - 01:45 PM
Amos 12 Jan 12 - 01:37 PM
GUEST,Hohk-Ptui 12 Jan 12 - 12:40 PM
Amos 12 Jan 12 - 10:08 AM
Rapparee 12 Jan 12 - 08:54 AM
Little Hawk 11 Jan 12 - 11:54 PM
Rapparee 11 Jan 12 - 11:02 PM
gnu 11 Jan 12 - 07:59 PM
Amos 11 Jan 12 - 06:55 PM
Rapparee 11 Jan 12 - 06:53 PM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 11 Jan 12 - 04:52 PM
Rapparee 11 Jan 12 - 03:00 PM
Little Hawk 11 Jan 12 - 02:50 PM
Acme 11 Jan 12 - 02:45 PM
Little Hawk 11 Jan 12 - 01:06 PM
Little Hawk 11 Jan 12 - 12:13 PM
Rapparee 11 Jan 12 - 09:21 AM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 11 Jan 12 - 12:41 AM
Little Hawk 10 Jan 12 - 11:36 PM
gnu 10 Jan 12 - 09:05 PM
Rapparee 10 Jan 12 - 07:44 PM
Don Firth 10 Jan 12 - 06:59 PM
Rapparee 10 Jan 12 - 06:22 PM
Little Hawk 10 Jan 12 - 06:14 PM
Amos 10 Jan 12 - 06:02 PM
Rapparee 10 Jan 12 - 09:40 AM
Acme 10 Jan 12 - 12:42 AM
Amos 09 Jan 12 - 11:01 PM
Rapparee 09 Jan 12 - 08:15 PM
gnu 09 Jan 12 - 08:10 PM
Amos 09 Jan 12 - 07:57 PM
gnu 09 Jan 12 - 04:02 PM
Rapparee 09 Jan 12 - 03:48 PM
Amos 09 Jan 12 - 02:51 PM
gnu 09 Jan 12 - 02:06 PM
Amos 09 Jan 12 - 01:36 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jan 12 - 07:53 PM

I'm not going for a walk in the rain tonight. I'm in the mood to say, as they say in NFLD, fuggit.

I know that's not interesting at all but fuggit, I don't care. That's just the mood I am in.

After seeing the doc... blood tests? ... CAT scan and then maybe an MRI? Friday the 13th? Yeah right. I'll bet I won't even win the lotto super 7 tonight. And then I'll have to wait a dog's age to get the tests done. What a shitty day.

Fuggit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 12 - 07:07 PM

Well, Gluon's got a couple of training bosons for fetch and a leg hump.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Jan 12 - 02:15 PM

"semirigid" - Kind of like the condition Chongo was in after the New Year's celebrations?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jan 12 - 01:34 PM

My dogs have one of these that they mostly ignore but he adores it. And as you say, he'll retrieve it as long as I'm willing to throw it. We need some variety, though.

What toys does Gluon have in her toy bin?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 12 - 10:04 AM

Tennis balls are semirigid even when pierced and make endless hours of fun as long as you are willing to throw...some dogs will drive themselves to exhaustion just to chase the f**kers one more time...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 12 - 09:45 AM

Yeah, he might choke on a Titleist or something. Nothing like saying to a lady in the hospital, "Oh, I'm so glad you're doing so well. By the way, I accidentally killed your dog." Most labs I know will pretty much destroy anything short of a beer keg. Zeke might like a basketball, football, or other inflatable that he can't sink his teeth into and deflate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jan 12 - 12:08 AM

Chocolate lab. No shame, counter surfs like the best of them (grabbing whatever food is left unattended), into sleeping on couches and people beds.

I called a friend who has labs, and she suggested, among other things, establish a tub or basket of some kind for his toys. Now to figure out what are appropriate toys that he'll play with. He has a favorite ball he fetches, but that stays out in the yard. I suppose I could load up on tennis balls. Golf balls are a bit small or I'd ask you to send a basket of them from your back yard - you know, the back back yard. Grab 'em when no one is looking. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 09:13 PM

What sort is Zeke?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 08:58 PM

About seven years ago when we had to replace computers and electronics after a burglary I replaced a track ball (I'd just bought the new one and when they hauled the computer out of the house with everything still wired, the ball popped out of it.) My new computer had a laser mouse, and the kids had been using the old roller mouse. I think their new computer came with one of those still, and my son was complaining. I got the unused HP laser mouse box out of the closet and handed it over - you had to be there to see the pleased expression on this kid's face. "Cool!" and he was off, computing with the smooth eye of the laser making his work easier. I just don't like having to wag the damned things all over a desk. With track balls the laser is inside and the pattern on the ball does the trick. They aren't very good for drawing with though.

Gluon and the girls are going to have to move over in the garage to make room for Zeke. His human mom was critically injured when she was a pedestrian hit by a car in a parking lot at work this morning. Her daughter called to ask me to retrieve him from the house. She's in ICU with a head injury, a broken hip, and recent eye surgery that may fail because of all of the rest of this. I suspect he'll be here for months.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 08:39 PM

I've played music on a trumpet, a treble clef baritone, shotgun barrels (not attached to a shotgun at the time), a garden hose, a bugle, a hunting horn, a sea shell, and a bunch of other things. But never a moose horn. The ones I've seen didn't have a place to blow into and/or they were still part of the moose. And they seem kinda flat, like you wouldn't get much tone from them.

Do moose blow their own horns?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 08:19 PM

Oh, I got a moose! It's my digitizing board moose. Well, it was... the digitizing board (cost me well over a grand 15 years ago) went the way of the dinasaurs in my business years ago. I drew a set of moose horns on a tablet backing board, cut it out and taped it to the multi-button mouse. I was rather proud of it. Small things amuse...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 07:18 PM

Bravo!!! (Clap! Clap! Clap!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 07:11 PM

If a Gnu puts a mouse to his use,
Does it constitute Species Abuse?
If a new law forbad it,
He'd get pretty mad. It
Might lead him to buying a Moose!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 04:54 PM

When I was a lad I served a term
As office boy to a galactic firm
I cleaned the windows and I swept the deck
And I published up recissions to other worlds, by heck!
(He published up recissions to other worlds, by heck!)
I published up recissions so carefully
That now I am the Ruler of the Space Navy!
(He published up recissions so carefully
That now he is the Ruler of the Space Navy!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 01:45 PM

Oh, I definitely use a corded mouse. Laser. $12.99.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 01:37 PM

Oh these masters of nuclear fission!
Their brains are all splashing and splishing!
Their rules are in constant revision
And edition soon follows edition
Just in time for another rescission!
They'd be better off all going fishin'!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Hohk-Ptui
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 12:40 PM

My last posting was interrupted.

We have decided to rescind our previous rescission regarding continual observation of your species. This is your notice of that decision. Please continue as you have been, as this decision is only to assist us to decide further rescissions. Should that occur you will again be notified of our decision.

Thank you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 10:08 AM

You can't use a telepathic interface until you can find something to think....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 08:54 AM

I'm working on a telepathetic interface, so you just have to think about what you want to do and the machine flashes "LOSER!! You're pathetic!! Get a life!! You EVER been on a date??" on the screen. I hope that this will improve both the health and temper of certain individuals.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 11:54 PM

It was the cheapest type I could find in the store, gnu, and it seems to work as well as any other mouse. Most of them were wired and they cost a whole lot more. I couldn't care less if a mouse has a wire on it or not. What real difference could it make?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 11:02 PM

Okay, I'll admit it. I don't use a mouse or a trackball, and I don't use control, alt, shift and esc keys to navigate around the screen. Instead, I input everything in ASCII, in binary format, so there won't be any mistekes when I post. I used to input everything in hex in machine code but decided that was too simple.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 07:59 PM

$20 for a wired mouse? You could afford a personal shopper if you got that kinda money. Or read the advert fliers. Oh, yeah, you live in Uppity Canada. Expensive up there I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 06:55 PM

Rapparee has now confirmed my unspoken suspicion--au fond, the man is a ballbreaker. This explains much.

I was happy for decades with a big-ass trackball. Now I have a small sculpted wireless mouse and it works just fine. So I guess I am not as fussy as you more refined folks.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 06:53 PM

I want to take this minute to apologize to everyone for any pain I may have caused them. Life is all to short and if I have given offense I would like you to know that I didn't mean to do so, that it was completely unintentional. This being said I want you to know that I only did it to test you, my creation, to see how well you would react, and I'm sorry to say that pretty much all of you failed. So, I'm sorry 'bout that and you'll all have to do better the next time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 04:52 PM

Jeez...makes me remember about this guy who goes to a whorehouse, singing, "How much is that doggie in the window?..That one with the waggly tail...How much is that doggie in the window.............Just need 5 minutes, at most, beats me from posting bail"

GfS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 03:00 PM

I had a lovely, sculptured trackball. It was, in my opinion and hand, ergonomically perfect. Naturally it broke. So I use a wired trackball like the one Stilly posted. About the only maintenance I've had to do is to take the ball out and clean the crap off the sensors inside.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 02:50 PM

I don't use wireless anything, and I have my reasons. Went out yesterday and bought an old-fashioned wired mouse for $19.99, and it works great.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 02:45 PM

Rap, I use the wired version of this.

Don, Good too see you here. Don't get the chair bogged down in all of the BS here. It's pretty darned deep. MOM sez it's sunny today, good day for this here contretemps, but she doesn't want anyone bleeding.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 01:06 PM

I just dashed off a new bit of doggerel, in regards to the following story from today's "Charlotte Observer"

CUMBERLAND COUNTY
"Man charged in sex offense involving neighbor's dog"

FAYETTEVILLE-- A 33 year-old man is free on bond after being accused of having sex with a neighbor's dog.

The Cumberland County Sheriff's Office said Ray Lynn Mitchham, Jr., who lives in Linden was arrested Monday and charged with a felony crime against nature.

The sheriff's office says the complaint was filed by the dog's owner who is also Mitcham's landlord. She told deputies she went to Mitcham's residence early on Jan. 2 to speak with him. When she opened the door of his mobile home, she said she witnessed the act.

Debbie Tanna, a spokesman for the sheriff's office, told Raleigh's WRAL-TV that the dog, a mixed breed female, was taken to a veterinarian, who recovered a DNA sample. The sheriff's office siad it determined Monday that the DNA matched Mitcham's.

Mitcham appeared in court Monday morning and was released on $5000 bond.



And here it is:


Help Me Make It Through The Night

Take the ribbon from your fur
Shake it loose and let it drop
Leave your dog food in the bowl
Just forget that awful slop

Come and lay down by my side
On the carpet by the chair
Never mind your foolish pride
As I remove my underwear

I don't care what's right or wrong!
I don't care about the law
I've turned off the blasted phone
And now I'm reaching for your paw

Mary's gone away downtown
Here we are, we're all alone
Help me make it through the night
And I'll give you this chewing bone...

I don't care what's right or wrong!
You don't have to be afraid
I've done things like this before
With my ex-wife's former maid

Yesterday is dead and gone
And the vet is out of sight
There's fresh pork roast in the oven
Help me make it through the night

- Krass Krostifferson, Folkporn Records


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 12:13 PM

As are most parrots.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 09:21 AM

No, she'd be polyandrous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 12:41 AM

Stilly River Sage: "Gnu, I'm ambidextrous but since schools typically taught right-handed there are some things I do with my right hand, like..."

You're a polygamist????

GfS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 11:36 PM

I stand ready to assist you in this matter of honor, Rapparee.

Ever stalwart, that's me.

I'll await Don's instructions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 09:05 PM

I'll second having a party.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 07:44 PM

Don, would you please act as the person communicating between the Seconds of the parties?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Don Firth
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 06:59 PM

Gorsh! Don't they talk purty!??

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 06:22 PM

LH, would you please serve as my Second in this matter?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 06:14 PM

And what about the Rights of Man!???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 06:02 PM

There is rights and then there is rights, Mister R. Until you learn to tell the difference, you're assertions are blither and blather in the Cosmic toilet bowl. But I repeat myself.

One right, of course, that I will never allow anyone to impugn or compromise is my right to defend myself against the encroachments of soi-disant solipsists, to speak plainly in the face of overweening braggadocio, and to lower by a notch any rampant ego who seeks to disrupt the Pax Momae.

Thus, take fair warning; eternal vigilance is levied on your hijinks and your caterwauling ways.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 09:40 AM

Well, there's this, and a whole bunch of similar ones.

Poor Amos! Brainwashed by the SoCal Vast Right Wing Conspiracy! Is there nothing left for him? He now calls the arms "my right arm" and
"my other right arm." He keeps right even when making a left turn, just to show that he's left left. Poor old Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 12:42 AM

Gnu, I'm ambidextrous but since schools typically taught right-handed there are some things I do with my right hand, like writing. There are other things where I lead with my left hand. My track ball (I agree with Rap - I love it - I hate having to run a mouse all over when I can simply roll it with my thumb). Trouble is, they're also made for right-handers so I don't have a choice, unless I want to start scrolling with my ring or pinkie fingers. Using a mouse (someone else's) now is partly out of habit and partly out of placement, since most people put the mouse on the right.

Now when it comes to the undomesticated variety, if I get them with any handedness I'll wring their scrawny little necks. They're hard on the garden.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 12 - 11:01 PM

SIr,

I would like to introduce you to a strange, revolutionary notion. Viz, that a single word--with one set of symbols, one set of phonemes--can have more than one concept attached to it, which it may evoke depending on context, and further, that this plurality of concepts may be entirely different one to the next, with little or no overlap in meaning.

For example, there is no overlap between "left" mean the direction of west when facing north and "left" meaning abandoned or remaining apart. In a similar vein, I hasten to point out to you that there is no strong conceptual link between "right" meaning the direction of east when facing north, and "right" meaning politically conservative, and "right", meaning an inherent privilege concomitant to some category of existence.

Until you master this radical notion you will continue to mewl and spew idiocies into the bottomless toilet of cyberspace!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 12 - 08:15 PM

I am at my own computer; my trackball is currently on the right hand side of the keyboard. I don't switch things around if I'm using someone else's computer; they can get right tetchy if you don't put it back the way it was.

Amos, you're so right-minded and hence right-wing that you walk widdershins.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jan 12 - 08:10 PM

I'd guess it's that Idaho Green Bud in a potatoe (correct spelling) bong. Not the bud but the wierd beer he uses in the bong. Moose Piss Pale Lager or some such crap. Too many bubbles in it. Too much oxygen in the brain can mess you up eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 12 - 07:57 PM

I said, my good Rapparee, that I was right-minded, not right-wing. Those two are technically mutually exclusive. Why do you never pay attention?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jan 12 - 04:02 PM

Alright! A great start. Thanks, A.

Now, to clarify, Rap... if you had two good arms and your own computer, what would your answer be?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 12 - 03:48 PM

I knew it!! Amos is one of them Gingerich-backing, Nixon-voting, right-wingers! Finally he admits it! He's probably got "Bush/Cheney" lawn signs in his house to remind him of the "good ol' days." Voted for Ahnahld, too, I'll betcha. He even admits going to Mexico to get his teeth fixed instead of using a good US dentist, saying he "saves money" that way. Right...and puts Americans out of job! Probably pollutes the water and air, too. Just another tool of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 12 - 02:51 PM

Gnuser, I am right-handed, right-minded, right-living, right-acting, and generally right. I mouse with my right hand. Always have, since I walked away from the command line interface in 1986.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jan 12 - 02:06 PM

Thanks to all those who took time to answer my survey. Or, should I say, thanks Rap.

Maybe if I made it more simple to answer the survey (if you subsitute "ball" for mouse, please feel free to do so) :

Mouse... same.

or

Mouse... opposite.

or

Mouse... both.

or

Mouse... both at the same time.

BTW... I got me one a them thar fancy laser mice for my main computer so I don't hafta clean the balls of my mice so often.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 12 - 01:36 PM

Meet you at the corner of the Field of Honor, sirrah, iffen you can ever find it.


A


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