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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 14 Apr 09 - 05:29 PM
Amos 14 Apr 09 - 02:22 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 09 - 01:05 PM
Amos 14 Apr 09 - 12:53 PM
MMario 14 Apr 09 - 12:27 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 09 - 12:22 PM
MMario 14 Apr 09 - 10:38 AM
Amos 14 Apr 09 - 10:33 AM
Acme 13 Apr 09 - 11:37 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 09 - 11:15 PM
Janie 13 Apr 09 - 11:09 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 09 - 10:45 PM
Amos 13 Apr 09 - 10:37 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 09 - 10:34 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 09 - 10:32 PM
Janie 13 Apr 09 - 10:31 PM
Amos 13 Apr 09 - 10:29 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 09 - 10:28 PM
Acme 13 Apr 09 - 09:57 PM
Janie 13 Apr 09 - 09:53 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 09 - 03:04 PM
Amos 13 Apr 09 - 10:03 AM
Amos 12 Apr 09 - 11:00 PM
Rapparee 12 Apr 09 - 09:28 PM
Acme 12 Apr 09 - 09:07 PM
Rapparee 12 Apr 09 - 08:49 PM
Janie 12 Apr 09 - 08:37 PM
gnu 12 Apr 09 - 06:28 PM
Amos 12 Apr 09 - 06:22 PM
Acme 12 Apr 09 - 02:19 PM
gnu 12 Apr 09 - 10:56 AM
gnu 12 Apr 09 - 10:53 AM
Rapparee 12 Apr 09 - 10:29 AM
Amos 12 Apr 09 - 02:10 AM
Acme 12 Apr 09 - 01:27 AM
Rapparee 11 Apr 09 - 09:23 PM
Amos 11 Apr 09 - 05:28 PM
Amos 11 Apr 09 - 02:07 PM
Donuel 11 Apr 09 - 10:58 AM
Amos 10 Apr 09 - 11:39 PM
Rapparee 10 Apr 09 - 11:23 PM
Amos 10 Apr 09 - 10:45 PM
Amos 10 Apr 09 - 10:38 PM
Rapparee 10 Apr 09 - 03:29 PM
Amos 10 Apr 09 - 11:31 AM
Rapparee 10 Apr 09 - 11:21 AM
Amos 10 Apr 09 - 10:54 AM
Acme 10 Apr 09 - 09:57 AM
Amos 10 Apr 09 - 09:46 AM
Rapparee 10 Apr 09 - 08:51 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Apr 09 - 05:29 PM

Hey, MOM, put on your good schmata and come on over to the faculty reception this afternoon! We're getting ready to wine and dine our faculty and staff authors for books and creative works from 2007-2008.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 09 - 02:22 PM

Excelling in things mathematical,
And after his post-grad sabbatical,
My son, I confess
Joined the wild IRS
Enjoying their manners piratical.

Ogden Olds


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 09 - 01:05 PM

So they just band together, like pirates? Do you have to have a wooden leg and a parrot?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 09 - 12:53 PM

Who would run?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Apr 09 - 12:27 PM

I don't think anyone is elected to the IRS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 09 - 12:22 PM

So we elect people to office, pay them a good salary and give them good benefits, and then we bribe them to do what we elected them to do in the first place?

Let's just jail them all for bribery and corruption!

Hmmm...a hangman's knot is tied on a double bite....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Apr 09 - 10:38 AM

Does anyone actually honour the IRS? or if they do, isn't more in the lapse then in the doing?

I see it more as a bribe to keep them from causing harm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 09 - 10:33 AM

What is this thing we have for numbers, that we hire Number Priests to weave our spells for us? Have two-column pad, will travel!!

Everything counted, measured, added, folded, spindled and mutilated.

If no two dollars are alike--as they cannot be, born in different instants and locations of different threads and molecules--how do we get away wtih adding them up at all, as though they were completely fungible like water molecules? And if this premise is improper in some deep spiritual sense, adding layers of lfalsehood to our worldview, then how can we honor the IRS?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 09 - 11:37 PM

Janie, having an accountant do it for a year or two after the divorce might be a good idea. It takes a little while to unwind the taxes from the ex. I always did our taxes, but with the death of my father and his estate getting tangled with mine and then a divorce, I needed help (I was listed as heir on a bank account and the bank wouldn't issue two statements, one up to the date of his death, and one at the end of the year. It made it difficult to pay Dad's taxes).

I hate those TurboTax programs and their ilk. They're stubborn, possibly even stupid. You figure out the gist of it before you start, then it makes you re-answer all sorts of questions but it won't ask all of the questions it needs to, or use the forms you need the way you need to. This year I used the eFile software that is just forms, no fussy questions.

You can deduct this year's tax preparation costs when you do next year's taxes. If that will help.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 09 - 11:15 PM

The county health worker tried one more time to get the old farmer to put screens on his house. "Look," she said, "do it for your kids. Screens will keep the flies off your food."

"Nah," he replied. "Just use some lime in the outhouse and things'll be fine. Them screens are too damned expensive."

Couple weeks later she happened to be driving by and saw that the house was resplendent with new screens on every window, the front porch was screened in -- it was a showplace for window screens.

Dazed, she pulled in and asked the farmer what had changed his mind.

"Well," he said sheepishly, "it was them white footprints the flies were leaving on my food."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 13 Apr 09 - 11:09 PM

I've got a low tech but very functional low-flow toilet that does what it is supposed to do, except that I do have to hit it with comet and a brush several times a week. But it don't clog.

Them two seater holes don't clog either. They just fill up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 09 - 10:45 PM

A hole? Man, I can dig it! I dig holes, ya know? Holes are, like, deep. Problem is, the last time I was groovin' on a hole somebody said something about getting spayed or something, so I left. I mean, like, I dig 'em all: little holes, big holes, nail holes, worm holes, fox holes, even like, you know, trenches and foundations and shit like that. Even big damn craters, like on the Moon, ya know? And caves. And tunnels. And mines, but not the kind that blow up when you step on 'em, but the other kind like you get gold from.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 09 - 10:37 PM

Have you forgotten how to dig a deep hole and cover it with a two-seater, yonker??


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 09 - 10:34 PM

Janie, we send out taxes off to a company in Cincinnati. Costs $350 or so, but a) we get that back tenfold each year and b) we don't fight about how to do taxes any more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 09 - 10:32 PM

Oh, yeah. The jet-propelled toilet broke last night. Because it's HIGH TECH and shoots the shit off with a blast of air and little water parts were not in stock. In fact, the innards need a rebuild.

We are thinking of just replacing it with an old fashioned, down the hole it goes, model. Something that won't sound like a rocket when you use the handle. Gotta be something like that around. After all, if we can build a toilet in space....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 13 Apr 09 - 10:31 PM

Ach! I haven't done my own taxes in well over 20 years, but accountant fees have simply gotten too steep to bear. Trying to use turbo tax, but don't understand the questions related to the PLLC and private practice. I finally surrendered and have just finished filling out the extension requests. I'm crossing my fingers that I am sending in enough to cover any taxes owed.

Wonder who does Chongo's taxes?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 09 - 10:29 PM

Long done and the money into the bank or spent.

Janie, just add all of Column A and subtract one from COlumn B or two from Column C.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 09 - 10:28 PM

Ours in the the bank, and we await the State. Then will come your stimulus payment, $400 if you're employed and $250 if you're on SS or a veteran's pension or something -- so I'm getting disabled vet pay from the VA AND I'm employed, so do I get $650??

Nah, probably not. Better so. I'd just spend it foolishly on things like food, shelter, and clothing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 09 - 09:57 PM

I've already done that Janie, and the refund is long-since spent.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 13 Apr 09 - 09:53 PM

One of youse get over here and help me figure out how to do my taxes?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 09 - 03:04 PM

He had clearance to do what needed to be done and he did it. Leadership from many areas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 09 - 10:03 AM

I am particularly proud of the officer (unidentified) who gave the order to act when the moment arose to take out the pirates who were holding that American captain at gunpoint. It was a dicey call, one that a lot of people would have feared to make, but having boldly made it, he deserves the reward of his success.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 09 - 11:00 PM

Janie,

That sounds like a memorable and stirring voyage of discovery.

Well done!!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 09 - 09:28 PM

Read? How do you do that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Apr 09 - 09:07 PM

Janie, you embarrass us, by suggesting that you actually read the recent posts. That is true dedication!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 09 - 08:49 PM

Hi, Mom! I have arisen.

And it was a pretty good nap, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 12 Apr 09 - 08:37 PM

Hi MOM,

Apropo to nothing recently posted, we are back from our quite wonderful trip to eastern Kentucky. Spent the weekend with 2 distant cousins we had never met, but with whom the rapport of family was immediately established, climbed up to the tops of high ridges to visit the graves of many, many ancesters, and located and walked old family farms - a few still in the family, that started out as land-grants to assorted members of the clan who fought in the Revolutionary and 1812 wars.

Although it took him forever, and we feared we wouldn't get him back down, my father, who walks with a cane, insisted on walking up to the cemeteries that had either cleared pasture or a dirt track up to them. We could tell it meant the world to him.

The weather was absolutely wonderful. A splendid way to spend an Easter weekend.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Apr 09 - 06:28 PM

To whom are you referring? I thought this was about the great philosophers Socrates and Calloway, no?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 09 - 06:22 PM

Well, see, now Gnu is a man of wide travels, and to him Refer is sea-going slang for an electric refrigeration unit. So when he was told he was the Reefer Man, he moved to Canada, where he has been freezing his balls off ever since.


Amazing how much can turn on one mis-interpreted word, in't it?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Apr 09 - 02:19 PM

Are you trying to tell us something? Are you that reefer man?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Apr 09 - 10:56 AM

He was searching for something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Apr 09 - 10:53 AM

That was Cab Calloway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 09 - 10:29 AM

Oh. I thought he said he would come back as a TAXI.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 09 - 02:10 AM

The search for truth was canceled by the Galactic Overlords when they realized each searcher was his own full answer. And no other.

The error of searching for that which is Without, like the error of seeking for truth Within, gave way to the simplicity of finding all truth in Being the Whole.


Socrates vowed he would come back as a taxi-dancer after that.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Apr 09 - 01:27 AM

Our family has a couple of spots like that. Here, in Silvana, Washington and here, in Ansonia, CT. (I started at my great aunt's address, though I shifted over to the graveyard where many family members reside).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 09 - 09:23 PM

Or all of the above. Or none of the above. Or some of the above. I don't know. No one does. Can any of use truly know something? To know it would mean that we can understand the real, wouldn't it? And do we understand what is real and what is illusion? Indeed, is that which we call real actually illusion? Illusion cannot be what is real, so can we only perceive illusion while understanding nothing?

I hope Plato, Aristotle, Heraclitus, Sartre, Rousseau, Pascal, Augustine, Swedenborg, North, Aquinas, Camus, and the whole lot are happy now. If they or anyone can truly know happiness, given the human condition. For given the human condition and the continual search for illusive truth and for what is real, can we ever be truly happy? Can we ever know what happiness is? Perhaps the Greek philosopher Arcturides said it best when he said, "It is impossible to step into the same open sewer twice, at least if you have any sense at all."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 09 - 05:28 PM

You could be out carving eggs instead of lollygagging.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 09 - 02:07 PM

Donuel:

Very creative, no question--but improbable. Women that age do not tend to get awestruck or impressed by Rapaire. Unfortunately they either sneer or smile politely in a vacuuous manner while scanning around looking for the nearest exit.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Apr 09 - 10:58 AM

Rapaire porn http://usera.imagecave.com/donuel/don/rapaire.jpg

http://usera.imagecave.com/donuel/don/rapaire2.jpg


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 09 - 11:39 PM

I have my own such secret place, thanks, at 41º11'53.77"N and 73º26'37.64"W and you are equally welcome to visit, should you ever find yourself in Connecticut with some spare time on your hands. JAck and Eunice were famous for their hospitality, once upon a time, and I am sure the spirit will still move them should you make the occasion.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 09 - 11:23 PM

Quincy. For shame! Quincy, Illinois -- like in Quincy, Indiana; Quincy, Michigan; Quincy, California; Quincy, Washington; Quincy, Oregon...but NOT like QuinZEE, Mass.

Well, one very good reason is that she and my father have been in Calvary Cemetery there since 1981 and 1950, respectively. They are there because both of them were, like their parents and their grandparents, born there.

But if you want to visit them just let me know and I'll give you directions. You can also visit some of my friends -- Doug, Bob -- they're nearby. Nice folks, you'd like them, but they're kinda quiet these days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 09 - 10:45 PM

Quency, Ill? Why would you leave her there?\



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 09 - 10:38 PM

IF you have to ask, you can't afford to...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 09 - 03:29 PM

What about my momma? She's at 39° 57' 12.13"N, 91° 23' 02.65" W if you want to visit with her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 09 - 11:31 AM

No worries, it's quite understandable. For my own part, I also apologize--I wrote "immensely", when I should have written "Yo Momma".


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 09 - 11:21 AM

Amos, I am always a surprising development. And I apologize -- I meant "Papeete" and wrote "Tahiti."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 09 - 10:54 AM

Oh, immensely!!! :D

THis is indeed a surprising development!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Apr 09 - 09:57 AM

We talked about the weather. Does that help?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 09 - 09:46 AM

At this rate, you will end up finding Little Hawk, mon vieux. You are clearly at least in the same frame of mind...




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 09 - 08:51 AM

Or the time when you were in port in Basel during the cigarette-smuggling deal and Interpol was just outside the door when you tied the bedsheets together and climbed down two stories? And how it was a six-story building? And how you realized that even so you should have tied the bedsheet rope to something other than your own ankle?


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