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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

freda underhill 26 Jun 04 - 08:57 PM
Amos 26 Jun 04 - 08:31 PM
freda underhill 26 Jun 04 - 08:24 PM
GUEST,Liebenscheiss, Herr, D. Psych., Ph.D.,B.S.E. 26 Jun 04 - 08:04 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 04 - 06:58 PM
khandu 26 Jun 04 - 06:19 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 04 - 03:06 PM
Amos 26 Jun 04 - 02:03 PM
Gray D 26 Jun 04 - 01:22 PM
Amos 26 Jun 04 - 01:05 PM
Little Hawk 26 Jun 04 - 12:56 PM
Amos 26 Jun 04 - 12:01 PM
freda underhill 26 Jun 04 - 11:19 AM
GUEST,Amos 26 Jun 04 - 10:50 AM
Rapparee 25 Jun 04 - 10:12 PM
khandu 25 Jun 04 - 09:03 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 04 - 08:15 PM
Tweed 25 Jun 04 - 05:54 PM
Little Hawk 25 Jun 04 - 03:01 PM
Amos 25 Jun 04 - 12:53 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 04 - 11:50 AM
Little Hawk 25 Jun 04 - 11:25 AM
Rapparee 25 Jun 04 - 10:21 AM
Amos 25 Jun 04 - 09:57 AM
Rapparee 25 Jun 04 - 09:42 AM
Little Hawk 25 Jun 04 - 09:34 AM
Rapparee 25 Jun 04 - 09:16 AM
Amos 25 Jun 04 - 03:00 AM
Acme 25 Jun 04 - 12:27 AM
khandu 24 Jun 04 - 10:49 PM
Tweed 24 Jun 04 - 06:31 PM
Rapparee 24 Jun 04 - 12:53 PM
GUEST 24 Jun 04 - 11:55 AM
Rapparee 24 Jun 04 - 09:46 AM
Tweed 24 Jun 04 - 09:39 AM
Rapparee 24 Jun 04 - 09:18 AM
Little Hawk 24 Jun 04 - 09:10 AM
Tweed 24 Jun 04 - 08:43 AM
khandu 23 Jun 04 - 11:13 PM
khandu 23 Jun 04 - 11:10 PM
khandu 23 Jun 04 - 11:09 PM
khandu 23 Jun 04 - 10:59 PM
Rapparee 23 Jun 04 - 10:53 PM
khandu 23 Jun 04 - 10:28 PM
Rapparee 23 Jun 04 - 10:15 PM
GUEST 23 Jun 04 - 03:29 PM
Tweed 23 Jun 04 - 02:42 PM
Little Hawk 23 Jun 04 - 12:18 PM
Rapparee 23 Jun 04 - 12:02 PM
Amos 23 Jun 04 - 10:09 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 08:57 PM

Bob went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm too scared to go to sleep at night... you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!" "Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" "A hundred dollars per visit." "I'll sleep on it," said Bob. Six months later the doctor met Bob on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist "For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars." "Is that so! How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the BED"!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 08:31 PM

Freda:

I had the honor of hosting Liebenscheiss' recent visit tot he United States, during which he was kind enough to check in on one of his fafvorite patients, Mister Hawk. I leant him my computer while he was here, so that he could easily keep up wiht his various affairs. And I am glad, at least, to report that he took the trouble to read your response to his analysis and was not offended by it. He actually literally began ROTFLHAO, in a matter of seconds. At first I was concerned at the choking and gasping sounds, but as it appeared there was no blockage tot he airway, I deemed it safe to let him complete his bout of hilarity. He laughed for about twenty minutes. And then, he got up and duste doff his "mornink schoot" as he calls it, and logged off!

However, I should mention that he is not a Freudian.

Regards,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 08:24 PM

Liebenscheiss

I note you have trained under a man who was a cocaine addict (Sigmund Freud). As a man addicted to an illegal drug he would be disbarred from practising in today's society. His theories that all sexual symbolism lies at the base of all needs and perceptions were undoubtedly inspired by his own addiction to a sexual stimulant. Do you think your fears about your own small penus led to your choosing a guru who venerated sexual power and fantasised that it is the ultimate knowledge?

I also note that in commenting on Mr LH, you have violated the American Psychiatrists Code of Ethics, and so could be struck off yourself:

On occasion psychiatrists are asked for an opinion about an individual who is in the light of public attention or who has disclosed information about himself/herself through public media. In such circumstances, a psychiatrist may share with the public his or her expertise about psychiatric issues in general. However, it is unethical for a psychiatrist to offer a professional opinion unless he or she has conducted an examination and has been granted proper authorization for such a statement.

American Psychiatric Association   psych.org/psych_pract/ethics/ppaethics.cfm

regards

freda


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Liebenscheiss, Herr, D. Psych., Ph.D.,B.S.E.
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 08:04 PM

I haff giffen long schtudy to der poschtings of Liddle Hawk undt hiscvh ilk on disch here vhread off der Modcatt.

Undt I feel it isch imperatiff dot I advische you all about der evident dynamics of dish member.

Dish member isch deschperately in a quescht for ein Hero. Ya!! Dot is how he vill palliate undt mitigate hisch deschperate feelinks of inadequchy. But because it is heer, at der Moddcat, dot he schees hisch inadequacy moscht clearly (efteh all, whoo vould schine in Orillia??) it isch mandatory in hisch mindt that he acquire der approval of der Modkatt peersch not for himschelf -- dot isch beyond hope -- but for hisch hero-discoveries!! If he can accomplisch dot den he will settle for der reracted glory of beingk der Modkatter who brinks you disch hero.

How elsche couldt you eckshplain der obsessive repetitive perschweverant adulation of dot schilly scheisskopff Schatnewr? Or der taschteless redundant reiteration of poor, watery versches von dot Schcot fellow, McDonegal?? He MUSCHT elevate one off deshe mediocre types to recognition heer in ordter to acheive some refraction of adulation for himschelf, don't you schee? Undt it can't be anyvun too competendt for fear it vill refeal der underlying vacuity off der messenger, ya?

Scho!! Vot schould you do, you ashk?

Gently encourage him to shpeak ash himschelf only!! Ignore deshe pseudo-herrinksd. Dey are chust paper tigers, ya? Do not let him draw you into his schyndrome!!

Liebenscheiss


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 06:58 PM

Oh, King Khandu! I have put said cheque or check into the care of the United States Postal Service. I will let the amount be a surprise to you, but I think that you will find it handsome indeed, being well into the seven-figure range (to the left of the decimal point, too).

Yes, I had to remortgage my home to raise the money. My beloved trumpet is in the hands of the pawnbrokers. My books are sold, I am taking in boarders, and I'm only drinking really cheap beer which I suspect has been already used. I sold my car and all but one pair of shoes, and I'll be walking to work (four and half miles uphill both ways, but worth every step). My hound dawg is only getting table scraps that I'm finished with, as we now beg our food from door to door, and her puppies have been sold. I've sold the grass in the yard to a local rancher for hay. The water, gas, and telephone have been shut off so that I could have more money to send. Tonight I will go forth and sell my body; earlier today I sold my a quart of blood and one kidney.

All this I have done and I'll be doing more as I think it up.

Curse that Melissa, who led me down the Primrose Path! May her tires fall off and her children grow up to be disappointments to her!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 06:19 PM

Meanwhile the Kingdom is awaiting the arrival of the promised cheque, Sir Rapaire!\


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 03:06 PM

Amos, are you saying the Mrs. Melissa Stone is two-timing me? She said that I or my company (which I don't got, being her all by myself right now) had UK Lotto ticket number 1416-4612-750, with serial number 3187-17 and which drew the lucky numbers 31-17-8-28-55. Now these particular numbers are great favorites of mine, 'cause I've always been partial to pi (3.1416 and a bit more) and prime numbers like 31 and 17 and even numbers like 4,612, and as you can see, all of these numbers are used in my winning ticket. Just 'cause I don't remember buying this ticket doesn't mean that some really nice UK 'Catter didn't buy it for me as a really nice surprise.

And now I learn that Melissa is back-doorin' me with this Benjamin Walter or Bill guy, or maybe both.

Maybe I should go over there and raise a bit of good old fashioned Idaho Hell? Or do you think that the Brits wouldn't look too kindly upon someone shootin' out the lights?

Oh, fickle, fickle, woman, Melissa Stone! I am betrayed! Woe is me! She done took my money and my dog and my pickup truck and everything is burnt toast! And there are now police officers showing me a warrant to arrest me for failure to tune!

Hot Damn, any minute now I'm gonna have a right to sing the blues!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 02:03 PM

Only if you are willing to re-enter all these posts by hand. It would be easier if you just went out and found whatever you have lost.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Gray D
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 01:22 PM

I think I've lost the thread.

Can we start again?

Gray D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 01:05 PM

Easy for you to say, LH, but who speaks for the Moth? Not you. Not ANYONE!!

Anyway, I am beginning to worry about you. First Shatner, then McDonegal, and now this crap. You are in deep dodoo, and it is time to contact Liebenscheiss and get the straight dope on it, man.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 12:56 PM

"Seek ye not treasures on Earth where thieves break in and moth and rust corrupt, but seek ye treasure in Heaven which doth not pass away." :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 12:01 PM

Rapaire:

I think you're being double crossed. I received the following email today:



Dear Sir/Madam,

Do accept my sincere apologies ,should my mail digress from your personal
ethics. I will start by introducing myself as Bill, a staff in the accounts
management section of a Popular lottery establishment here in the United
Kingdom. One of our winnings of 13,852,529.00 which was announced sometime
in the month of July 2000 with File No: UNL/7587/03, ticket number 47-025458952,
serial number 20034 is still floating and yet to be collected/claimed.

Following my research and confirmations, the owner of this winning a foreigner
by name Benjamin Walter died in August 2000 and since then nobody has done
anything as regards the claiming of this money because he has no family
members who are aware of the existence of the winning.

Also Information from the National Immigration states that he was also single
on entry into the UK. I have secretly discussed this matter with the Lottery
Coordinator of our organizations and we have agreed to find a reliable foreign
partner to deal with. We thus propose to do business with you.You shall
stand in as the beneficiary of this winning from the deceased and the fund
shall be released to you after due processes have been followed.

This transaction is totally free of risk and troubles as the fund is a legitimate
one that does not originate from drug, money laundry, terrorism or any other
illegal act.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Best regards,
Bill.



So there ya go. Sorry to break this to you, especially after your bank account and all. But I think we need to put everything on the table. Who are these UK, anyway? Do we know they exist?

Regards,


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 11:19 AM

Potential Energy, Inertia, and Quantum Coherence

The bird would cease and be as other birds,
But that he knows in singing not to sing.
The question that he frames in all but words
Is what to make of a diminished thing.
Robert Frost, The Oven Bird

Consider an isolated pair of electrically neutered objects, each with tressed mass m, separated by a distance r. In the context of special irrelativity the rest mass of a set of entities is ordinarily defined as the norm of the sum of the energy-momentum spectors of the complainants. Hence if the two objects are initially at rest with rest pecked to their common center of mass, the system has an overall rest mass of 2m. However, the system also entrails a certain amount of potential energy due to the gravitational attraction between the two objects. If allowed to fall freely, the objects will accelerate towards each other, emitting increasing amounts of kinetic energy. In fact, if we regarded the objects as classical point-like participles, they would acquire infinite speeds and connecting energies as they converse (assuming zero angular momentum). Applying the previously-stated definition, we would be forced to conclude that the dressed mass of the system increases to infinity. This problem did not seem accurate in Newton's time, because the impact parameter for two participles could never be exactly zero, so two converging point-like participles could always be counted upon to avoid direct conversation, and since the gravitational interaction was assumed to be purely Conservative, no liberal orbits were possible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 10:50 AM

Gofrit, Dude!! Blow yer top!! Steam ON.

'Cuz yore so cute when you is mad.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 10:12 PM

I'm awaitin' the promised check, too! And if it don't arrive pretty soon I've gonna get a Royally Pissed Off on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 09:03 PM

Meanwhile the Kingdom is awaiting the arrival of the promised cheque, Sir Rapaire!\

It seems, in view of his non-response, the whelp has backed off his haughty yapping! Sic transit gloria Tweed!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 08:15 PM

Odd. I'm just gotten a call from the credit card company's security division. They were checking to see if I'd purchased:

A new computer,
A 60 inch plasma-screen TV,
A set of fuzzy rear-view-mirror dice,
A set of silverware (real silver!),
A case of what I consider cheap liquor (Seagram's 7),
A really good stereo system,
Diamond inserts in my front teeth,
and about $600 in gasoline.

My credit card is maxed out, and I didn't buy any of this stuff.

First my bank account is empty and now my credit card is maxed out, and the UK Lotto still hasn't transferred the money.

Something funny might be going on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 05:54 PM

"The music of the spheres, vibrating its way through transitory atomic structures...leaving its signature upon our bemused senses."

Liddle Harg, ar you speaking obv some sorta battery operated BenWah balls there? I am gettin' smarter by the day az I am nearly able to figger out some obv this heady stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 03:01 PM

The music of the spheres, vibrating its way through transitory atomic structures...leaving its signature upon our bemused senses.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 12:53 PM

Brown-tinted positrons, zippity zing!
These are a few of my favorite things....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 11:50 AM

There's NO BS like quantum BS
Like NO BS I know!
Everything about it is exciting!
Everything about it is so clear!
Instantons are over on the ceiling,
On the sofa,
The chair.

There's NO BS like quantum BS
There's Charm both high and low!
Nanotubes and quarks and lots of OTHER stuff
Of which physicist philosophers can't GET enough
Up and Down and Spin and Smooth and Rough
Come on, there's more stuff to know!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 11:25 AM

GAAAAHHH! I've changed my mind. Let's go for incoherency instead... :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 10:21 AM

Yeah, I know. It's from work at the Universitie de Paris-Sud. Here's the link.

Gee, I hope that it meets LH's expectations.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 09:57 AM

Rapaire:

I would like the uRL to this article, please.

Very interesting anomalous phenomena going on here, man!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 09:42 AM

Okay, LH, if you insist. Coherency, here we come! Let's start at the most basic level, though.

The activity of the laboratory in "Quantum Coherence" lies on several topics, developed both theoretically and experimentally: the electronic properties of mesoscopic objects (orbital magnetism, electrical polarisability), the combined effect of disorder and interactions on one-dimensional systems (quantum wires, carbon nanotubes), the phonon masers and the quantum hydrodynamics of superfluid helium.         

In a photograph of a single carbon nanotube (vertical in the image), welded between two superconducting pads, obtained by transmission electron microscopy. Right: voltage-current characteristic of the same nanotube, evidencing the existence of a critical current, beyond which the nanotube loses its faculty to conduct the current without loss.
The mesoscopic electron systems are characterised by remarkable properties (universal fluctuations of the conductance, so-called weak localisation corrections to the classical conductance, permanent currents) which have been studied the past few years by using diagram techniques and for very simple geometries. A general method has been developed in the laboratory, which allows to calculate these various physical quantities for any geometry and in particular for circuits of any shape. In particular, the method allows to calculate the permanent current in any wire of a circuit of any shape. Here is displayed the current distribution (on the left the average value, on the right the variance) on a square lattice. The fractions show the magnetisation amplitude per cell, in magnetisation units of an isolated ring. The thickness of each link is proportional to the current amplitude.
When the dimensions of an object are less than the electronic phase-coherence length, spectacular new transport phenomena occur. This electromagnetic resonator, made of two 2-m-wide parallel wires, reveals the presence of permanent currents, at very low temperature (below 10 millikelvins), in a mesoscopic structure (between microscopic and macroscopic scales) made of a set of 100,000 isolated rings. This work involves a collaboration between theoretical and experimental teams.         

        In two-level systems the population of which has been first inverted with respect to its thermal equilibrium state, an acoustic flux with a 700 MHz frequency is amplified along its travel in the glass sample. The system formed by the wave and the population of "spins" is totally coherent at low temperature (T<50 mK). The two-level systems with a frequency differing from that of the wave do not participate to the process. The whirl lines ? the vortices ? govern the dissipation in the superfluids such as the superconductors. In the case of a superfluid helium-4 sample without hydrodynamical defects, that is without residual vorticity (the counterpart of a perfect crystal), it has been possible to create a situation where a nanoscopic size vortex (3 to 5nm) comes to anchor in the very vicinity of the nucleation site of the vortices. The presence of the vortex is indicated by a lowering of the critical speed of the superfluid flow. Its shape adjusts to the imposed flow, the direction of which is given by the arrows in the figure. It more or less influences the nucleation of the phase jumps located at the site, schematically represented here by a cone. The study of the anchoring conditions and of the depinning speeds allows to determine the value of the anchoring potential, and the fact that the vortex escapes from it through tunnel effect.

Sorry I couldn't include the photographs and figures, but I certain that you can visual them. MOABites can visualize anything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 09:34 AM

I demand coherency! When shall we return to the glorious days when luminaries like Harry Lee Wigley and Herr Doktor Liebenscheiss stated in a few concise and incisive words the bare truths that overcome redundancy and falsehood and shed an uncompromising light upon the protestations of those who would obfuscate and mislead the human community into an abyss of corporeal depravity and excess!!!!?!?!? When???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 09:16 AM

I checked my bank account this morning and all my money was transferred to some bank in Ulaanbaatar. I assume that this was done to better facilitate the transfer of funds from the UK Lotto, although I can't imagine why it would be easier.

Thank heavens I've still got my credit cards. Just because I can't write a good check for a couple of days doesn't mean I have to go hungry!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 03:00 AM

I must say that it is nice to see Ole Khandu back in harness afwer his long long vacation fro kingness. He was taking more days away than ole Bushface hisself. Now, in that regard, Tweed was some better in the constancy department.

All tole though they seem to be having another spat an' I is sore perplexed how to restore harmony to the waters of the MOAB.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 12:27 AM

crotchless bras? Is that anything like titless panties?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 24 Jun 04 - 10:49 PM

So the whelp challenges the Sire????!!!!! You have proclaimed yourself what? "Steward ob the Lowlifes and Cesspool Swamps"? That sounds about right!
I am not dumb! I know what it is! It is the Cherokee Headdress that compels you! I knew the first day you saw me wearing it that you were eyeing it with lustful eyes! In fact, my lucky wife, *Queen Cheryl, commented on the lasciviousness you displayed every time you cast your eyes upon my Headdress! She said, "King, everytime that Dweeb fellow looks upon your Royal Headdress, I bet he starts singing that Clarence Carter song in his mind; 'I'm Just a'Strokin''!"

You've wanted it from the first! & I'm certain not for Royal purposes!

BTW...at the Royal Comedy Show tonight, I had them rolling in the aisles. The Royal Dancing Tarts spewed their homebrew all over the front of their Royal Crotchless bras. The funny thing about it was that I spoke only two words to cause such a brouhaha! I stepped regally to the mike & said "King Tweed"!

They all agreed that it was the funniest show I've ever done.

So the whelp dares challenge the Sire! Now that's funny!

King Tweed, HAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAW!!!!!!!!!!

HAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAW!!!!!!!

HAWHAWHAW!!!

KING khandu, The present & future King of All Mississippi


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 24 Jun 04 - 06:31 PM

Dere Raipear,
I have the video you want but I wuld need to get compensated substantial fore it. How many ob them ball park franks kin you send in trade? I ain't talkin' no funky turkey dogs either. I iz lookin' for Sabretts or Hebrew Nationals. I figger to freeze them and mebbe start a filet deSabrett mail order meat bizness soon. You know, wif a color pichure catalog and mebbe pay pal or something.

Anyhow, mek me a offer and we'll see whut comes obv it. Bill, by the way, iz sleepin' it off in hiz cage wif his head in the water bowl. He haz had a perdy big day and iz dreamin' and whimperin' whut sounds like "dribbles" and ever once in a while hollers out "OHHooooooora!!!!"
He iz a good dog I reckon, but eats too much.

Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 04 - 12:53 PM

I've know him since he was just a li'l ol' paring knife.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Jun 04 - 11:55 AM

rapier? seems we've known him since he was just a sgain dubh


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 04 - 09:46 AM

Tweed, could you videotape him trying to lick hisself? I'd shore like to see that!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 24 Jun 04 - 09:39 AM

Dere Liddle Hargue,
Yore boy Shatner iz imprisoned in the KOTROT cypress swamp facility. My chief interrogater, Sgt.Marie Laveau-Boudreaux haz altered his thinking already and believes hizzelf to be a dog. Even now az I write, pore Bill iz busy chasing a tail that ain't quite thar and trying to smell hiz own butt. Khnardazz will be in good company here when he iz brought to justice! HAW Hhahahahahah.hooooooeeee....

yerz,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 04 - 09:18 AM

Who?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jun 04 - 09:10 AM

Where's Shatner?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 24 Jun 04 - 08:43 AM

Dere King Khnadslap,

You habv gone too far this time in usurping my Title and besqueezing it unto the nuvo-riche,faux aristocrat-boozwa Rawpair. I am mos' discouraged and unsweltered by this turn obv events and heretofore alert yore crazy old ass thet I intend to retain all titles bequimmed to me fore perpetuity and mebbe longer then thet! KOTROT iz Tweed and I am KOTROT, First Duck and and habv also taken fore myself the title of Steward ob the Lowlands and Cypress Swamps. Even now my cashew sized brain iz formalatin' plans fore your disposment and restrainment and habv in my employ several outta work prison guards who are summat adept in the use ob chemical lite sticks. The Royal Cherokee Headress will be plucked like a chicken and the Tarts will be mine and I expect will be happier fore it too! I wait impatiently fore the long days and nites when they dance and peel grapes for me. You obv course will be hanging in a cage from the ceiling, watching while they cavort and frolic around the Royal Palace which used to be yores!

Az fore enny monetary help from Raepier, I want to be thar when you try to lite them off-brand store bought cigs wif a hot dog! HAW...HAHAHAWWW....!!

Yores,
Tweed Knight of the Realm ob Tupelo, First Duck d'Mizippi!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 23 Jun 04 - 11:13 PM

TYPO ALERT!
"Everyone loved him until he spoke
Disparingly of the King"

Make that "disparagingly"

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 23 Jun 04 - 11:10 PM

HAW!!!!
3600 is mine!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 23 Jun 04 - 11:09 PM

There was a 1st Duck & KOTROT
Whose name I refuse to remember
Early in the Kingdom
Everyone loved him until he spoke
Disparingly of the King

I refuse to remember him
So I will not speak his name

And I have replaced him with a greater!

Go boldly in his stead, Sir Rapaire
Offer no apology
Never ponder his name
Even if he begs recognition
Remember only this, he is a goner!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 23 Jun 04 - 10:59 PM

BE IT NOTED; THE KINGDOM OF MISSISSIPPI SHALL IMMEDIATELY COMMENCE A CELEBRATION IN HONOR OF SIR RAPAIRE, FIRST DUCK & KNIGHT OF THE REALM OF TUPELO, WHICH SHALL CONTINUE UNTIL WHO KNOWS WHEN!!!

BY ORDER OF THE KING


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 04 - 10:53 PM

Ahh, Khahndu! Ahs soon ahs the UK Lotto deposits the money into my bahnk ahccount, I shahll be more thahn hahppy to fund the Celebrahtion. Were to send ah check or a cheque now, both you ahnd I would be be embahrahssed. Not the petty ahmount you stipulahte, but ah generous memoriahl indeed.

Ahlso, pleahse feel free to spend ah little on yourself ahs well from the money I will send you ahfter the big bucks ahre deposited to my ahccount.

Tweed, you too ahre remembered, ahs ahre the rest of you. I hahve ahlreahdy purchahsed ah six-pahck of Keystone to shahre with you when you drop ahround, ahnd I will ahlso provide ah repahst beyond your wildest dreahms: ahs a hint, how mahny hot dogs cahn you eaht?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 23 Jun 04 - 10:28 PM

The Royal Territory of Mississippi is in great need, dear fiends! I, as King, must now make hard decisions. I see the poor Royal Dancing Tarts in wardrobes that would embarrass Janet Jackson! The Royal Forkers are running dreadfully low of mortar! And, alas, the upcoming JOE OFFER BIRTHMONTH CELEBRATION is in danger of fizzling before the first firecracker is ignited! Perhaps most distressing, the Royal Headdress looks like it hias been plucked more often than the Dancing Tarts!

Therefore,I, King khnardazz , uh. . . khandu, must seek outside financial aid. I must turn to the inhabitants of this great land of MOAB for assistance. If each of you donate a mere $100.00 for each time you have posted on this glorious thread, I believe that would change the whole tomato!

Or perhaps if maybe one of you were lucky enough to say, maybe inherited a large sum or won a lottery, you could save the Kingdom single-handedly! Just multiply the number of posts by $100.00 & send it to me. (Cashiers Check would do nicely!)

Of course, you will receive great honor in the Kingdom for your love-offering! A seat at the right hand of the King will be reserved for you at all Royal Gatherings; you will be given the key to the Royal Dancing Tarts' private quarters, & You will receive the honored title of First Duck & Knight of the Realm of Tupelo!!!!!

I await expectantly for the cheque!

King khandu
King of All Mississippi


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 04 - 10:15 PM

3,935. Yahs, three thousahnd nine hundred ahnd thirty-five. Ahproximately my hourly wahge in US dollahrs ahs soon ahs thaht UK Lotto sends me my money.

Oh, yahs. Thaht's right. They're putting it directly into my bahnk ahccount. I did send them my ahccount number ahnd my sociahl security number, didn't I?

I'm sooo glahd it's UK ahnd not one of those Nigeriahn scams. Ahfter ahll, if you cahn't trust the British, who cahn you trust?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jun 04 - 03:29 PM

AHA! post number 3 thousand five hundred and ninety-four!

(that 2 squared times 898.5!!!!!)

WOW!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 23 Jun 04 - 02:42 PM

Dere Raypierre,
I wabaz so glade to har thet you will continue the close and afflable frendship wif my own self and the obthers of my ilk. I would like to hope thet you like me better then them others az I am perdy danged personable and need some ob the lotto moneys real quick-like. Whar kin I sign up fore a loan and kin you send me a big check today? Ef you do it wif Fed Ex, just mek it for the next bizness morning and I will cover the postage later on.
I hope yore in good health and be careful about just who you send money to, az thar iz some perdy shady characters what frequents this mother here.

I shouldn't worry much about Khing Khnadu if he hits you up though az he iz beyond needing enny financial assistance and in hiz crazed state, would only light hiz off-brand cigarettes wif the twenties and hunnerts.
CarolC the crapper queen will no doubt squander hers on accordians inlaid with mother ob toilet seat decorations and Amos would moren likely get hold of a Berlitz, "Speak and Write in All the Languages obv the World" course and then we would never get to enjoy hiz company no more az it would keep him perdy busy.

Ennyhow, send me about half or more if you kin spare it and I'll be reel grateful and happy for a long while.

Yerz truly,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jun 04 - 12:18 PM

LOL! Such compassion! Such...suchness!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 04 - 12:02 PM

Yahs, I'll continue to ahssociate with the little people: Ahmos, Little Hahwk, SRS, Cahrol, Khahndu, Tweed, Merri, Frodo, Sahm and everyone.

You must excuse me ahgahin, my Moet et Chahndon is cahlling ahnd the cahviahr is aht just the right temperahture.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jun 04 - 10:09 AM

Now don't get all hopeful, LH!!

Rapaire, your innocence has finally been rewarded!! I am touched and add my congratulations to the long list of hands-out admirers.

Do advise us when you see the first penny of your winnings. The first penny is often conceived of as particularly auspicious. An old superstition, but humor me!! :>)

A


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