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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

matai 01 Mar 04 - 06:44 AM
Rustic Rebel 01 Mar 04 - 03:35 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Feb 04 - 09:51 PM
Amos 29 Feb 04 - 09:39 PM
Rapparee 29 Feb 04 - 09:32 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Feb 04 - 08:26 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 04 - 09:36 PM
Amos 28 Feb 04 - 06:44 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 04 - 05:14 PM
Rapparee 27 Feb 04 - 09:26 PM
Amos 27 Feb 04 - 12:34 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Feb 04 - 10:54 PM
Amos 26 Feb 04 - 02:31 PM
Rustic Rebel 26 Feb 04 - 03:43 AM
Amos 26 Feb 04 - 12:37 AM
Rustic Rebel 25 Feb 04 - 02:16 AM
Amos 25 Feb 04 - 12:53 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Feb 04 - 06:36 PM
Rustic Rebel 24 Feb 04 - 06:23 PM
Amos 24 Feb 04 - 05:53 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Feb 04 - 05:48 PM
Amos 23 Feb 04 - 10:27 PM
Rustic Rebel 23 Feb 04 - 08:22 PM
Rapparee 23 Feb 04 - 08:46 AM
Rustic Rebel 23 Feb 04 - 06:12 AM
Rustic Rebel 23 Feb 04 - 03:14 AM
CarolC 23 Feb 04 - 01:11 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Feb 04 - 12:55 AM
CarolC 22 Feb 04 - 11:58 PM
Rapparee 22 Feb 04 - 10:10 PM
Amos 22 Feb 04 - 08:36 PM
Rapparee 19 Feb 04 - 09:12 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Feb 04 - 09:49 PM
Rustic Rebel 17 Feb 04 - 09:45 PM
Tweed 17 Feb 04 - 01:45 PM
Rapparee 17 Feb 04 - 11:14 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Feb 04 - 09:41 AM
Little Hawk 17 Feb 04 - 09:32 AM
Rapparee 17 Feb 04 - 09:01 AM
Amos 17 Feb 04 - 08:57 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Feb 04 - 05:04 PM
CarolC 16 Feb 04 - 04:07 PM
GUEST,Mrs. Bee 16 Feb 04 - 03:52 PM
Amos 16 Feb 04 - 01:40 PM
CarolC 16 Feb 04 - 01:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Feb 04 - 12:59 PM
Amos 16 Feb 04 - 12:22 PM
CarolC 16 Feb 04 - 11:04 AM
Tweed 16 Feb 04 - 08:46 AM
Amos 16 Feb 04 - 12:12 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: matai
Date: 01 Mar 04 - 06:44 AM

MOA: an extinct flightless bird

MOABites: conversation of extinct flightless birds?

MOAS:   Mother of all Sewers/Storm water drains
         Several flightless birds

New Zealand Summer 2003-4: Enough Storm water to pop all the manhole covers on the Mother of all Storm Water Drains resulting in resounding avalanche type roaring to cause sleep disturbance and unearth the resting place of the bones of extinct flightless birds.

Now I'm not saying that our storm has instigated the refreshing of this thread but there is an eerie connection...

Have fun,
Matai


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 01 Mar 04 - 03:35 AM

Pike Streat Market. Oh I remember it so well. We put an A in the spelling just to confuse the neighboring cities.
They thought we were just an illiterate gang that hung out on Main St. and smoked hooch after 'mud'night.
That's what 'they' thought.

Let me explain a little history that leads to this point.....

Earlier in the years before our...twinkie usage, the minds of intellegent persons used to sit around the kitchen table and discuss the state of other peoples affairs not paying attention to their own.
Which tended to bring on dis-course when ever they had a pot luck and they had to eat each others food out of polietness.
The strangest thing took place when at one of those pot lucks, a neighbor arrived with five 12 packs of Hostess 'Twinkies'.
Everyone at the gathering had never seen or experienced the new pre-packaged cake before and they all thought to be fun about it, they should all eat it together and have an 'experience'.
So they all gathered in a group and....



Oh shit I lost the story.(I was on a roll for awhile)So the story must have been retained in someother MOABites mind to fill in some blanks?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Feb 04 - 09:51 PM

Didn't we destroy Seattle in one of the Martian Invasion threads or something? I distinctly remeber bemoaning the loss of Pike Streat Market.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Feb 04 - 09:39 PM

O dear Gawd, did someone let Rapaire eat Seattle?? You guys just don't know when to stop, do you??? We were saving that!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Feb 04 - 09:32 PM

I had a yen for yen, for pounds of pounds. So where else to get it but in Seattle? Or rather, where Seattle used to be.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Feb 04 - 08:26 PM

What about big bounteous bunches of booty? Or tremendous troves of tantalizing treasure?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 04 - 09:36 PM

'Tis coming, 'tis. Plenty of plunder, pounds of pretties.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 04 - 06:44 PM

Welcome back, Rapaire!! Where's the plunder, then?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 04 - 05:14 PM

It's okay now, Mom. I'm back. I'll save you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 04 - 09:26 PM

We have returned. Please, no ceremonies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 04 - 12:34 AM

Well, we done vectored all over Dalmatian, I reckon.

I liked it, anyway! BWL, you can use it fer yer book if you've a mind to. Or use it for an inscrutable email.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Feb 04 - 10:54 PM

My son is writing a book. The main character in this book is a young man in a mental institution. One of the reasons the young man is crazy is because his father sends him weird emails that he cannot decipher.

The book is really a collaborative effort. I am responsible for actually creating and sending the weird emails. I have a feeling some of my posts to the MOAB are going to find their way into this literary endeavor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 04 - 02:31 PM

Hey, dere Momma, don' be blue
I think I know just what's ailing you
The times get hard and the folks do too
And the rules and demands start to make you so blue
If you're getting tired of a heavy load
Ya needs to wash yore feet on the BS ro0ad!

Take the BS Road, yas, yas
Take the BS Road!
Nothing else can lighten up yore load
Like a long peaceful walk down the BS Road

IF your folks are yelling and your kids are mean
And your ole man's chasing after beauty queens
And your days are filled up with painful noise
And bitchy broads and unruly boys
Take the best solution I have ever knowed!

Take the BS Road, yas, yas
Take the BS Road!
Nothing else can lighten up yore load
Like a long peaceful walk down the BS Road!


Now good BS can surely be your friend
It picks you up when the hard types end
It takes you high and free and clear
An' it doesn't care if you're not from 'roun' here
It turns you back into a princess when you feel like a toad!



Take the BS Road, yas, yas
Take the BS Road!
Nothing else can lighten up yore load
Like a long peaceful walk down the BS Road!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 26 Feb 04 - 03:43 AM

I've got the Mother Of Bullshit Blues

I'm sittin' here wonderin' what's a woman to do
she can't come up with bullshit for the likes of you.
So she starts a lttle rhyme that ain't goin' too far
and for all she knows it's going to end up in a bar.

Oh Baby- I got the blues
Oh baby I think I gotta choose
If I'm gonna take the path of being straight or go down in history for bullshit's sake.

I used to think that life was nothin' but pain
until I hitched a ride on the bullshit train.
My friends said I was nuts for hangin' around,
but I laughed all the way with the bullshit I found.

Oh Baby- I got the blues
Oh baby I think I gotta choose
If I'm gonna take the path of being straight or go down in history for bullshit's sake.

Now this story is simple if you want to hear it out,
the Mother of Bullshit, is what it's all about.
The few of us here, just can't let a good thing die,
'cuz' if we did, Oh- the kisses to Amos won't fly..

Oh Baby- I got the blues
Oh baby I think I gotta choose
If I'm gonna take the path of being straight or go down in history for bullshit's sake.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 04 - 12:37 AM

Oi, vey!! I just saved the MOAB from falling off the page. No praise or glory, an act of eternally unsung heroism, but at least, deep in my heart, I have the profound satisfaction of knowing that I chose the Path of RIght Action. Just blow kisses in my general direction.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 25 Feb 04 - 02:16 AM

I have been accepted! I am a wanted woman in other parts of the Cafe! Only Brucie has put up a resistance and I have assured him I will not be a nuisance. I'm in the in boys and girls, and I see your making your way in just as smoothly Bee-Bubya-ell. Before they know it, MOABites will be taking the platform and ruling the world.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha he he he he he he he .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 04 - 12:53 AM

MOAB certainly does qualify!! It is multi-user on a grand scale and persistent as all get out. The same folks keep coming back to push it along.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Feb 04 - 06:36 PM

I have no idea, RR. If I knew what a "massively multi-user persistent environment" was, then I'd know whether or not MOAB was one. I just thought that if somebody already knew what a "massively multi-user persistent environment" was then thay could just tell me whether or not MOAB qualifies and, thus, save me the trouble of having to find out what in the hell it means.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 24 Feb 04 - 06:23 PM

Yaw-hoo! 2202.
Over in Dianavan thread of elect me for Pres., I hopefully appointed myself "High World Court Jester" I intend to juggle balls and trip out on tulips. Now, the thought has come to me that I may not be wanted as a jester in that kitchen cabinet. They, over there, may not understand my motives. They might not understand the consequenses of tripping on tulips quite like this group of MOABites would. I, for that matter might not understand the consequenses for tripping on tulips, how-ever what ever they may be, I feel I would be forgiven of my actions much more easily here than there.
Well I'm just going to let it ride for now and check out the reaction. If I cannot be Jester for Dianavan, I'm going to talk to Khandu. He'll understand my passion for tulips, won't he?


What is that your trying to say Bee-Dubya?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 04 - 05:53 PM

Congratulations, gang. Twenty-two hundred proud entries of multi palavri cum nihil dicit!! I yam proud to call myself a MOABite!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Feb 04 - 05:48 PM

Is MOAB a "massively multi-user persistent environment"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 10:27 PM

Don't suppose all those posts about underwear and lacks thereof coulda had anything to do with it. Us danglers are SO suggestible!!! :>))

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 08:22 PM

A call to arms!!

Rapaire is hallucinating on those mushrooms again!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 08:46 AM

help ive been kidnapped and am being held prisoner by a bunch of crazed nubilities who kidnapped me because carolc told them to and they are giving me a steady diet of great food and great liquor and massages and seeing to my every want and need and help ive been kidnapped and wait don't bother to rescue me the redhead and the blonde just came in with ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 06:12 AM

PS.
I ain't talkin' 'bout no wooden boxers here, just plain old polyester.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 03:14 AM

Let's not forget the polyester.

It's the polyester that made man forget to have their super flamin' 'rhoid's checked.
It's the polyester that made man need viagra(indeed a conspirasy there).
It's the polyester that turned decent women, earth, home loving men, into polka playing accordian players.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 01:11 AM

What 'rhoid, Bee-dubya-ell?

The morris dancers in question are your old buddies with the duct tape, buttoned up shirts, horn-rimmed glasses and the terrible sense of timing.

They needed some extra money to buy some bells, scarves, and sticks (the buttoned up shirts and horn-rimmed glasses don't have any 'morris cred', and other teams kept beating them senseless with their sticks), and I needed someone thick enough to do the job and not ask any questions.

What do you mean you don't know what kind of music they play? They play morris dance music. You ought to know, you played accompaniment for them on your guitar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 12:55 AM

Damn, Carol! That's a super flamin' 'rhoid! Makes my butt hurt just to look at it.

What band of Morris dancers? I don't know any Morris dancers. I don't associate with Morris dancers. The only person I ever knew who danced while wearing bells was named Jasmine and the bells came off right along with the rest of her clothes.

Heck, I don't even know what kind of music Morris dancers dance to. Probably something perfectly suited to the accordion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 11:58 PM

I've kidnapped them, Amos, and I'm holding them hostage... well, I hired Bee-dubya-ell's band of merry morris dancers to do the actual 'holding'. You'll have to pay a ransom to get them back... or is that a transom. Anyway, you'll have to pay or you'll never see them again...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 10:10 PM

Say, that reminds me. Speaking of hemmorhoids and rings of fire, there's this which has got to be the biggest and bestest ring of fire/'rhoids since Avogadro's number came up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 08:36 PM

Rapaire, the vaunted literati, the gun-totin intelligentsium of the Great North West, has fallen to discursing on the provate parts of plastic dollies; and BWL, the wildest humoresque this side of the Great Divide, is working the Wonder Bread crowd. What has beCOME of the MOAB we love and treasure, that' s what I want to know!!!?? Where is my dancing friend RR and my sweet insightful SRS and the Queen of Moab himself, Leedle Harg? Where is KHANDU????


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 04 - 09:12 AM

Don't do it, Bee Dubya! Don't! You'll regret it later! You'll hate yourself in the morning! You'll...oh, heck, why not? If you want to. Really, really want to. I mean, maybe that's your thing and I wouldn't want to mess up your music, if you know what I mean. That's the real reason why Barbie and Ken are splitsville. He wanted to explore his personal space and she wanted a bit more of the domestic scene, yaknow? So there was Ken, trying to figure out whether or not he was gay and Barbie comes on as, like, "do you want sweet pickle relish in your tuna salad or what?" and Ken told her he wasn't ready for such a longterm commitment yet and Barbie said that she thought that all these years together WAS a longterm commitment and she had over a hundred wedding dresses in the closet because Ken kept changing the date and all and then Ken told her he might be gay and Barbie said, Fine specimen of manhood you care, you can't even whizz standing up and the last pair of balls you had were in a can on the tennis court and Ken started to cry and said that it wasn't his fault that the creator didn't see fit to give them privates and then Barbie started to cry too and said she really, really wanted a physical side to their relationship too and then Ken said, yeah, he'd like sweet pickle relish and Barbie said "What?" and Ken explained that he'd always liked sweet pickle relish and Barbie misunderstood and thought Ken was talking about some singer named "Sweet Pickle Relish" and slammed out of the house and roared off in her pink sportscar and spent the next eight hours drinking which was a mistake because she can't whizz either and it has to sweat out through her pores which means that she has a hangover that'll last for weeks. Meanwhile, Ken's starting to get it on with Skipper, who might be young but she's a lot older than she looks and is a LOT older in what she knows only Skipper thinks she might be lesbian because she doesn't have a boyfriend but she's openminded and, well, big sister Barbie out somewhere in a snit and here's Ken, close at hand you might say. So don't do it, Bee, don't do it, because sweet pickle relish has damned near RUINED Barbie and Ken and that only-as-good-as-she-is Skipper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Feb 04 - 09:49 PM

Hello??? Is anybody here??? No???

Gee, I guess everybody's over on the extremely exciting "Ken and Barbie Get Divorced" thread. Or maybe the one about using "Ring of Fire" for a roid commercial. Ho, hum.

Maybe I'll go start a thread about whether or not to use sweet pickle relish in tuna salad. It'd be more exciting than anything else going on around here.

Hello??? Is anybody here???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 17 Feb 04 - 09:45 PM

My search for the North Decoder rings was in vain. I asked several people for help or info and they only looked at me like I was some insane freak from Minnesota. Once the concert started I admit, I spaced the rings out completly. Sorry, I guess I am a novice. Should have sent Chongo the Chimp maybe?
The concert was excellent-Deb Jenkins Blues band opened from Fargo, followed by my favorite of the evening-Molly Nova and the Hawk from MPLS,MN. Molly plays a kick-ass blues fiddle and her voice is grit and grind. Big John Dickerson followed also from MPLS., then Joe Moss from Chicago, an excellent guitar and last was Lil' Ed and the Blues Imperials, also from Chicago, that had the house rocking.
I met almost all of the band members and had a fine time. Mike Garrett guitar player with Lil Ed gave me the best hug of the night, so I went back for another one and we just hung on to each other for awhile like we knew each other all our lives, that was cool. Damn I'm such a groupie!
Amos, I missed you, but I can tell you I had my dancing shoes on. Danced all night, during a break I played some harp and sang to a crowd of about 1000. Oh yeah, I had a fine time.
Rustic


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 17 Feb 04 - 01:45 PM

Liddel Harq, wold not any discorse regardeng used shorts be several levels of BS above anything havin to do wif Billy Shatner or the rest ob the crew of the Enterprize? ...Unless we was to talk obv Shatner's shatty shorts I guess..that would be worf several hunnert points or more...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 04 - 11:14 AM

Send me your address, LH, and I'll send you the Idaho Legion's underwear when they take it off in a month or two. Won't take long to package it, if I can get the tongs and the hazmat suit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Feb 04 - 09:41 AM

My wife never gets those kinds of stories exactly right. It wasn't handcuffs. It was duct tape. They duct taped my legs and torso to the chair leaving my arms and hands free.

In fact, rumor of this particular duct taping quickly spread through the musical grapevine until it was heard by Deb aka "Blueslady" over at Tweed's Blues who promptly adopted it as an appropriate means of punishment for various musical and non-musical infractions such as harboring the belief that Eric Clapton is a blues guitarist.

Glad you enjoyed your trip, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 04 - 09:32 AM

This thread is getting even worse than it used to be. I dropped in hoping to find something more enlightening than discussions on dirty underwear! Pfui! I will come back in 20 or 30 posts from now in hopes that you have all gotten over it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 04 - 09:01 AM

HA! Fie on all you naysayers!

We motored to Flagg Ranch in Grand Tetons NP, where we left the car and snowshoed into...no, that's a lie. We left the car and got in a motorized, HEATED snowcoach (sort of an enclosed halftrack, with skis on the front and tracks in the back) and were driven to the Old Faithful Snow Lodge. After a good dinner (they even have wine and good beer) we slept well in a HEATED room (Bequet's caramels on the desk, even) and the next day took a HEATED snowcoach tour of the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone area. We saw bison (LOTS of bison; they walk the roads instead of trudging through 72 inches of snow 'cause they ain't dummies), elk, bald eagles, ilk, coyote, snowmobilers, a couple in the back of the coach who were interested in wild life, and suchlike critters.

We returned to our HEATED room, changed shoes (Sorels are acceptable in the dining room, but any shoes get uncomfortable if you wear 'em long enough), and had a good dinner. We packed, and yesterday left our HEATED room and rode back to Flagg in the HEATED snowcoach. We motored from there to Jackson Hole, where we drove around the perimeter of the National Elk Preserve, bought me a belt, and so back to home.

HA! Fie on you naysayers!! It was in the 20s F., so it wasn't even cold!

(How the heck did BWL play the guitar while handcuffed to a chair?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 04 - 08:57 AM

Now shall the winter of our discontent turn duller silence by the absence of moi, called to the distant deserts of California for a work trip in the field. Farewell, MOAB!! Until I return, with my sword or on it, or whatever.... :>)

If I am lucky berhaps I will encounter the Dakota Ring!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 05:04 PM

Ouch!!! Morris dancers??? Uncle!!! I give up!!! I quit!!!

Really, Carol, I've been guilty of associating with some pretty lowlife types - banjo players, Ovation players, Taylor players, even accordion players - but NEVER Morris dancers!!!

This is really a new low in the annals of MOABism!!!Congratulations!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 04:07 PM

That's what he gets for hanging out with Morris Dancers, Mrs. Bee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mrs. Bee
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 03:52 PM

Hi, folks.

I'm going to tell you all a true story. It's one that Bee-dubya can't tell you himself because he has buried the memory of it too deeply to talk about.

Several years ago there was a bimonthly Sunday afternoon Irish music session at an old house that belongs to the Pensacola Historical Society. The sessions usually attracted a fairly decent number of musicians and on this one particular Sunday afternoon there were a couple of fiddlers, a harpist, a tenor banjo player and three accordion players with Bee-dubya on guitar. The session started out just fine, but after a couple of hours people started leaving for one reason or another. Well, within a period of about thirty minutes, everybody had left except the three accordion players and Bee-dubya. It was then that the trouble began.

One of the accordion players pointed out a window and said, "What's that?" While Bee-dubya was looking out the window another one of the accordion players pulled a pair of handcuffs out of his accordion case and cuffed Bee-dubya to his chair. Bee-dubya looked on in horror as the three accordion players attached their drool and spittle cups to their instruments, buttoned up their shirts all the way to the collars, removed their contact lenses and put on horn-rimmed glasses with lenses as thick as coke bottle bottoms. Then they began to play "Blackthorn Stick" in G while Bee-dubya was forced to listen. "You must play!" they demanded. "We must have rhythm accompaniment! We are accordionists! We have no sense of timing! Play for your freedom!" So, Bee-dubya picked up his Martin and attempted to back up the three of them even though they were each playing in a slightly different variation of totally out-of-time. When Bee-dubya would follow one of them he'd get thrown off because the other two were playing off in some alternate universe where the accented notes on jigs fall on the second and sixth beats.

Finally, it got toward dusk and the accordion players had to go home before their mothers started worrying about them. They removed their drool cups, unbuttoned their shirt collars, put their contacts back in and became doctors, lawyers and accountants again. They uncuffed Bee-dubya from his chair, said their goodbyes, got in their BMW's and headed for home. Poor Bee-dubya couldn't move for about an hour, but he finally was able to make it to his truck and headed toward home.

It was while driving home that Bee-dubya remembered the stories he had heard told by the caretaker at the old house where the session had been held. It was widely believed that the house was haunted and that the ghost of a little girl could sometimes be seen standing among the azalea bushes. Bee-dubya became convinced that the only explanation for the transformation he had seen take place among the three accordion players was some kind of demonic possession or other supernatural phenomenon. Bee-dubya refused to go back to the session after that and it soon fell apart due to lack of a decent rhythm section.

This is a true story and if I'm lyin' I'm dyin'.

Mrs. Bee


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 01:40 PM

Ah tole ya an Ah tole ya an Ah tole ya, BWL... stand by fer reaming!! LOL!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 01:18 PM

You got most of it right Bee-dubya-accordion-hater, but we don't channel Lawrence Welk, we burn his effigy. And we don't play Pachelbel's Canon, we play Finnish waltzes. And we don't need the drool cups because, unlike stringed instrument players, we don't drool. Don't need the bubble blowing machine either. We use stringed instrument players for that.

I can't tell you any more than that or I'll have to (you know what).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 12:59 PM

What sort of a weird accordion-playin' cult do you belong to, CarolC, that plays neither polkas nor "Lady of Spain"? Do ya'll have monthly gatherings in Spanish moss laden oak groves where you play "Pachobel's Canon" around bonfires built from pre-war Martins while filling the custom-made Sterling silver drool cups mounted onto your Hohners and Saltarellis? Are ya'll nekkid while this accordion debauchery is goin' on? Is there a bubble-blowin' machine? Does somebody go into a trance and start channeling the ghost of Lawrence Welk? Just curious....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 12:22 PM

Yeah but that'sd accordion music, and Spaw plays possum-holes! Even jugbands don't do Lady of Spain, and they are plumb musical compared to possunholes!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 11:04 AM

Couldn't have been me, Tweed, I don't know "Lady of Spain". But Spaw's always talking about how much he loves LoS, so maybe it was him trying to contact you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 08:46 AM

CarolC, laist nite I woke up in a cold sweat and wif "Lady obv Spane" playin' over and over agin in my head. Are you tryin' to contack me wif som sorta pyscokhnaneisis, or iz this only a phaze I am goin' thru?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 12:12 AM

Ohhhh Beee DUBYA -- NOW YER FOR IT!! YOU HAVE INCURRED THE WRATH OF THE CRAPPER QUEEN!! A woman of world renown who could stop the pipes of the Queen Mary with a single twitch of an eyebrow!! Not someone to mess with, especially at your age. I'm tellin' ya there ain't enough prunes in California to patch you up when you cross the wrath of CTCQ! You most always end up most irregular! Start listening for them accordion solos in your dreams, good buddy!! Wake up screaming!! Don't say I didn't warn ya!

A


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