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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 03 Jun 09 - 01:50 AM
Acme 02 Jun 09 - 11:31 PM
Rapparee 02 Jun 09 - 10:47 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Jun 09 - 07:34 PM
Acme 02 Jun 09 - 06:36 PM
Rapparee 02 Jun 09 - 06:29 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Jun 09 - 06:06 PM
Little Hawk 02 Jun 09 - 05:37 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Jun 09 - 05:14 PM
Acme 02 Jun 09 - 05:07 PM
Acme 02 Jun 09 - 04:46 PM
Amos 02 Jun 09 - 04:20 PM
Rapparee 02 Jun 09 - 04:13 PM
Acme 02 Jun 09 - 01:16 PM
Little Hawk 02 Jun 09 - 01:03 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Jun 09 - 12:09 PM
Amos 02 Jun 09 - 11:42 AM
MMario 02 Jun 09 - 10:27 AM
Amos 02 Jun 09 - 10:07 AM
Rapparee 02 Jun 09 - 09:05 AM
Little Hawk 01 Jun 09 - 11:40 PM
Amos 01 Jun 09 - 11:32 PM
Janie 01 Jun 09 - 11:00 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 09 - 10:19 PM
Janie 01 Jun 09 - 09:33 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 09 - 09:29 PM
Janie 01 Jun 09 - 09:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Jun 09 - 08:48 PM
Acme 01 Jun 09 - 07:08 PM
Janie 01 Jun 09 - 06:29 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Jun 09 - 05:04 PM
Little Hawk 01 Jun 09 - 04:56 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Jun 09 - 04:51 PM
Amos 01 Jun 09 - 04:05 PM
Acme 01 Jun 09 - 04:05 PM
Acme 01 Jun 09 - 12:58 PM
Little Hawk 01 Jun 09 - 12:16 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 09 - 08:47 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Jun 09 - 07:20 AM
Little Hawk 01 Jun 09 - 01:18 AM
Acme 01 Jun 09 - 01:16 AM
Little Hawk 01 Jun 09 - 12:49 AM
Rapparee 31 May 09 - 09:18 PM
Janie 31 May 09 - 07:29 PM
Acme 31 May 09 - 07:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 May 09 - 07:09 PM
Janie 31 May 09 - 07:06 PM
Amos 31 May 09 - 06:45 PM
Janie 31 May 09 - 06:39 PM
Acme 31 May 09 - 02:35 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 01:50 AM

This discussion has a flattop. WHich is different from a tin can.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 11:31 PM

Dimension? I don't know--you're flat out of time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 10:47 PM

But in what dimensionality?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 07:34 PM

Okay, a wall can be flat, meaning "smooth and even", yet vertical.

But a floor can be flat, meaning "smooth and even", and flat, meaning "horizontally level. So, a floor could be said to be twice as flat as a wall.

But if one were to paint the wall with flat wall paint, the wall would then be just as flat as the floor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 06:36 PM

Draw your own bills and send them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 06:29 PM

Zimbabwayan. LH won't know the difference.

However...if you, LH, knew anything about dimensional geometry you'd realize that from a perspective of less than or more than three dimensions your argument regarding horizonality falls flat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 06:06 PM

Is that $20 Canadian or US?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 05:37 PM

Flat can be horizontal, Bee-dub, but it doesn't have to be. A wall is flat, yet it is also vertical. A leaning board is flat, yet it is leaning between the horizontal and vertical. Now that I have you wriggling in the grip of irrefutable logic, I think it is time to offer you a chance to purchase a way out of the humiliating spot you are in. ;-) I will accept unmarked bills in denominations over $20 to allow you to slink away without further embarrassment...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 05:14 PM

Sorry, but neither I nor dictionary.com buy the "'flat' is not synonomous with 'horizontal'" argument.

Here's their definition of "flat"

1.horizontally level: a flat roof.
2.level, even, or without unevenness of surface, as land or tabletops.
3.having a surface that is without marked projections or depressions: a broad, flat face.
4.lying horizontally and at full length, as a person; prostrate: He was flat on the canvas after the knockdown.
5.lying wholly on or against something: The banner was flat against the wall.
6.thrown down, laid low, or level with the ground, as fallen trees or buildings.
7.having a generally level shape or appearance; not deep or thick: a flat plate.
8.(of the heel of a shoe) low and broad.
9.spread out, as an unrolled map or the open hand.
10.deflated; collapsed: a flat tire.
11.absolute, downright, or positive; without qualification: a flat denial.
12.without modification or variation: a flat rate.
13.Informal. lacking money; broke.
14.without vitality or animation; lifeless; dull: flat writing.
15.having lost its flavor, sharpness, or life, as wine or food; stale.
16.(of a beverage) having lost its effervescence.
17.without flavor; not spiced: flat cooking.
18.prosaic, banal, or insipid: a flat style.
19.pointless, as a remark or joke.
20.commercially inactive: a flat day in the stock market.
21.(of a painting) not having the illusion of volume or depth.
22.(of a photograph or painting) lacking contrast or gradations of tone or color.
23.(of paint) without gloss; not shiny; mat.
24.not clear, sharp, or ringing, as sound or a voice.
25.lacking resonance and variation in pitch; monotonous: a flat delivery of the speech.
26.Music.
a.(of a tone) lowered a half step in pitch: B flat.
b.below an intended pitch, as a note; too low (opposed to sharp ).
27.Grammar. derived without change in form, as English to brush from the noun brush and adverbs that do not add -ly to the adjective form as fast, cheap, and slow.
28.Phonetics. lenis; voiced.
29.Nautical. (of a sail)
a.cut with little or no fullness.
b.trimmed as nearly fore-and-aft as possible, for sailing to windward.
30.flat a, the a-sound (a) of glad, bat, or act.



Perhaps the river was named Flat River because it was dull and uninteresting. (Definition #14)

By the way, Lester's name was spelled "Flatt".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 05:07 PM

gnu started a thread about programming his remote control, and when I was responding I realized that the remote control is a sort of electronic analog to the spatula. How many do you have and where do you keep them? How do they differ from each other?

Another great thread idea is born!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 04:46 PM

Next you'll be telling us how to pour water on troubled oil.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 04:20 PM

THe Flat that goes with Scruggs is not water, but erl. Erl and water don't mix.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 04:13 PM

No, but Flat goes well with Scruggs.

I presume that none of you have seen a water level or even a glass of water. The water is flat (apart from minor effects on the edge of the container) and level, and REMAINS THAT WAY no matter how you tilt it.

I'll betcha that's a property someone somewhere might even find a use for.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 01:16 PM

Pow! A perfect "10" for LH!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 01:03 PM

Bee-dub, I am going to have to burst your little bubble here. You have overlooked one very basic thing. "Flat" is not a synonym for "horizontal". ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 12:09 PM

Animals may feel regret, but a dog who whimpers, slouches and tucks his tail isn't sorry for peeing on the rug. He's sorry he's gonna get his ass kicked.

And no, no, no, no, a thousand times no, a river is NOT flat! It may look flat, but that's just because you don't have a sufficiently sensitive measuring device to measure its slope. Even Florida's St. Johns River, considered by many to be the world's laziest major river, drops thirty feet in elevation between its headwaters in south Florida and its mouth, 310 miles away near Jacksonville. That's almost flat, but still a drop of a foot every ten miles. And most rivers drop at a rate many times greater than that.

Next thing ya know, you guys will be trying to to convince us that the EARTH is flat!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 11:42 AM

NEw evidence concerning Chongo's deep-seated mental aberrations:

"If you own a dog, especially a dog that has anointed your favorite rug, you know that an animal is capable of apologizing. He can whimper and slouch and tuck his tail and look positively mortified ? "I don't know what possessed me." But is he really feeling sorry?
Could any animal feel true pangs of regret? Scientists once scorned this notion as silly anthropomorphism, and I used to side with the skeptics who dismissed these displays of contrition as variations of crocodile tears. Animals seemed too in-the-moment, too busy chasing the next meal, to indulge in much self-recrimination. If old animals had a song, it would be "My Way."

Yet as new reports keep appearing ? moping coyotes, rueful monkeys, tigers that cover their eyes in remorse, chimpanzees that second-guess their choices ? the more I wonder if animals do indulge in a little paw-wringing.

Your dog may not share Hamlet's dithering melancholia, but he might have something in common with Woody Allen.

The latest data comes from brain scans of monkeys trying to win a large prize of juice by guessing where it was hidden. When the monkeys picked wrongly and were shown the location of the prize, the neurons in their brain clearly registered what might have been, according to the Duke University neurobiologists who recently reported the experiment in Science.

"This is the first evidence that monkeys, like people, have 'would-have, could-have, should-have' thoughts," said Ben Hayden, one of the researchers. Another of the authors, Michael Platt, noted that the monkeys reacted to their losses by shifting their subsequent guesses, just like humans who respond to a missed opportunity by shifting strategy.

"I can well imagine that regret would be highly advantageous evolutionarily, so long as one doesn't obsess over it, as in depression," Dr. Platt said. "A monkey lacking in regret might act like a psychopath or a simian Don Quixote."

In earlier experiments, both chimpanzees and monkeys that traded tokens for cucumbers responded negatively once they saw that other animals were getting a tastier treat ? grapes ? for the same price. They made angry sounds and sometimes flung away the cucumbers or their tokens, reported Sarah Brosnan, a psychologist at Georgia State University.

"I think animals do experience regret, as defined as the recognition of a missed opportunity," Dr. Brosnan said. "In the wild, these abilities may help them to recognize when they should forage in different areas or find a different cooperative partner who will share the spoils more equitably."..."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 10:27 AM

I always wondered about the co-dependency of olgs and ilk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 10:07 AM

Flat river!!
Flatter than a bug
Squashed deep into a rug
By Dad!

Oh, square-topper!
You share-cropper!
You just have a bad rep,
You aren't really bad!

Flat water
Everyone should know
Just has nowhere to go
Today,

Someday all our dreams will come true,
Meteors fall through
Splash and boil and spew,
And send all
The flat water
Away.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 09:05 AM

Here's a flat river. And it's still flowing, roiling, along.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 11:40 PM

It is the nature of water to quickly go flat on top, fer crissake! Why do I even need to say so? Isn't it bloody well obvious????

Pour some water in a bucket if you don't believe me, and watch what it does after the splashing subsides.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 11:32 PM

A river can be flat on top while still flowing down underneath--at least for an interval.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 11:00 PM

Not me.


I'm a good girl.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 10:19 PM

Solar still? Vacuum still? Liebig condenser type still? Pot still? Worm still? It's been some years, but I know stills still.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 09:33 PM

Hey, it only takes so much water for a still.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 09:29 PM

It could be a puddle, a pond, an encachement, or several others things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 09:27 PM

Don't ask me where it got it's name, but it does flow. At least in spring and winter. Rest of the year, it is wading water.

Those olgs you is talkin' 'bout Stilly are Appalachian Highlands olgs, of which the Piedmont olg is subspecies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 08:48 PM

How can there be a Flat River? Rivers flow downhill. If it's flat, it doesn't flow. If it's doesn't flow, it's not a river. It's a lake.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 07:08 PM

Janie, there are likely to be feral olgs up in the forest around Shenandoah and down in some of those draws along the Skyline Drive and Blue Ridge Parkway. They'd be near some of the old yellow poplar (tulip tree) cabins hidden in the woods that the NPS missed tearing down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 06:29 PM

The even more obscure species of olg known as the Peidmont olg used to be locally common in the Flat, Eno, Little and Haw river basins of North Carolina. It is very particular as to habitat, however, and would create it's burrows only in soft banks located within 20 yards of a moonshine still that was in turn located no more than 1/2 mile from a tobacco barn.

Between the revenuers and the collapse of tobacco farming, there are some who say it is now extinct. I have it on good authority, however, that a small colony still exists on Poteat Creek in Person Co. up near the head of Flat River.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 05:04 PM

You, sir, may insult me as much as you'd like, but leave my ilk out of it. And my olg too, for that matter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 04:56 PM

You cad, sir! For Shame! There is the odd dachshund who is a dullard, but most of them are quite clever and some are veritable geniuses, specially when it comes to absconding with food that is meant for others. I have known dachshunds who could run circles around you and your ilk, intellectually speaking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 04:51 PM

Saw a bumper sticker this morning that said "My dachshund is smarter than your honor student."

Must be makin' honor students pretty damned stupid nowadays. I've got compost that's smarter than a dachshund.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 04:05 PM

You have to forgive her; she was enthused about joining the preservation and conservation movement, and was focusing on the plight of the olgs. She had a scheme to revive the species using gene technology, and to this end talked her parents into fronting the money to erect an olg cabin. But before the Center for the Preservation of Such was half begun, it was overrun with politicians trying to be born there.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 04:05 PM

(Not to be confused with "For Shane")


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 12:58 PM

Penelope Rutledge has naughty pine olgs on her house? For Shame!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 12:16 PM

Penelope Rutledge has naughty pine panelling on her bedroom walls at the new chalet she recently had built in the Italian Alps.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 08:47 AM

Sure! As my Aunt Tilly used to say, "Waste not, want not." Ergo, if you want not, you'll waste not. You must differentiate between "not" and "knot" of course. They're two entirely different things. I knew some lumberfolk who never wasted a knot. They had a huge pile of them near the sawmill. Never let even one go. Folks would come around and ask them, "You do have a knot, do you not?" and they'd reply, "Not for your sort." You see, they were hoping for a resurgence in the popularity of knotty pine for furniture, wall covering, and so on and they stood ready to make a fortune when it happened. It didn't; instead their entire collection (which they stored in a depression in the ground called the "knot hole") was destroyed in the Great Earthquake of 1986. A fault line moved the earth right in line with the knot hole and all of the knots sank and were not ever seen again. But the owners didn't care, because they knew they had wasted not a knot and so they wanted not a knot. Of course, some folks said they were knot nuts which lead to confusion, but I shall not go into that right now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 07:20 AM

Okay then, can we waste not?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 01:18 AM

Certainly not! It's impossible to waste nothing. It would have to be there in the first place before you could waste it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 01:16 AM

Nothing goes to waste around here, does it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 12:49 AM

Olgs are no good at all for making rafts with, but they made for some terrific sport when it came to hunting and they were dee-licious when roasted!!! It's no wonder the poor things got driven to extinction before the middle of the 20th century. The last Olg ever seen in these parts was confined in a cruddy zoo south of Sudbury and put down after it trampled one of its feeders to death one day. The idiots had no idea that the Olg had every right to protest the slop they were feeding it! Olgs had a very delicate palate and would not eat anything that wasn't 100% organic and fresh.

They should have put the zoo staff down instead and freed the Olg. The fools.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 09 - 09:18 PM

I grew up in Mark Twain/Tom Sawyer country and I've never, ever, seen a raft made from olgs. Way back before I was born they used to hunt them for their pelts, but the olgs were pretty much extinct before I was born, at least around there. I remember sitting in the beer garden outside Pauline's one time time, talking about olg hunting with Sam (he was in town on an up-river swing to Lacrosse) and he told me that his old girlfriend Becky's dad, Judge Thatcher, one time shot an olg that measured better'n 12 feet nose to tail tip, but it had dried some in getting it home so it was probably about 15 or 16 feet "on the hoof" so to speak. About that time it was Sam's turn with Pauline, so I finished his beer for him and went on home.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 May 09 - 07:29 PM

And then catch one with your bare hands for supper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 May 09 - 07:27 PM

Are you being koi, BWL?

I have an urban creek in my back yard. As far as I know there are no abandoned shopping carts washed into this stretch of it, but at any of the major street crossings all sorts of crap has been thrown into it. It does very well with wildlife all things considered, but the humans have not made all stretches of this water a thing of beauty. Developers treat drainages and creeks like no-mans-land and after dredging and shaping they look like napalm hit. This is an unaltered section of the creek through the village, and I will fight to keep it that way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 May 09 - 07:09 PM

Or you could come to my place take a few laps around the pond in the paddleboat. Then you could fall overboard and let the koi nuzzle you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 May 09 - 07:06 PM

Ain't good creeks grand places to mess about in and around?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 May 09 - 06:45 PM

Hey, Still, you could make one Tom Sawyer style outta olgs and what not and then sit on it with a cool drink in hand. Heaven!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 May 09 - 06:39 PM

Hey MOM, the hummers finally found my feeder! Gotta go tell 'em on the bird thread.

Bye!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 May 09 - 02:35 PM

It would be nice to have a kayak for a cool excursion right now. It's heating up here in the yard in Texas. I should get a raft or something for the creek, if for no other reason than I could pick up trash I can't get from the bank and don't want to wade in the water, it's several feet deep but I'm not sure how deep. Or have any idea about what's accumulated under there to step on.


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