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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

s6k 10 Feb 04 - 04:39 PM
Rapparee 10 Feb 04 - 03:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Feb 04 - 01:19 PM
Rustic Rebel 10 Feb 04 - 02:30 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Feb 04 - 01:56 AM
Rustic Rebel 10 Feb 04 - 01:22 AM
Amos 09 Feb 04 - 09:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Feb 04 - 06:19 PM
GUEST,Shlio 09 Feb 04 - 05:09 PM
Little Hawk 09 Feb 04 - 04:42 PM
s6k 09 Feb 04 - 04:28 PM
Rapparee 09 Feb 04 - 03:24 PM
CarolC 09 Feb 04 - 02:05 PM
GUEST,Shlio 09 Feb 04 - 01:58 PM
Amos 09 Feb 04 - 09:19 AM
s6k 09 Feb 04 - 09:18 AM
Rapparee 09 Feb 04 - 08:52 AM
s6k 09 Feb 04 - 04:25 AM
CarolC 09 Feb 04 - 01:00 AM
CarolC 08 Feb 04 - 11:50 PM
Amos 08 Feb 04 - 10:55 PM
CarolC 08 Feb 04 - 08:31 PM
Little Hawk 08 Feb 04 - 08:24 PM
CarolC 08 Feb 04 - 08:16 PM
Amos 08 Feb 04 - 07:48 PM
CarolC 08 Feb 04 - 05:02 PM
Amos 08 Feb 04 - 01:45 PM
CarolC 08 Feb 04 - 01:40 PM
Amos 08 Feb 04 - 01:33 PM
s6k 08 Feb 04 - 01:20 PM
Rustic Rebel 08 Feb 04 - 01:17 PM
CarolC 08 Feb 04 - 12:06 PM
Amos 08 Feb 04 - 10:52 AM
GUEST,Shlio 08 Feb 04 - 10:36 AM
Rapparee 08 Feb 04 - 10:21 AM
Amos 08 Feb 04 - 09:39 AM
s6k 07 Feb 04 - 07:51 PM
CarolC 07 Feb 04 - 06:32 PM
Rapparee 07 Feb 04 - 10:34 AM
Leadfingers 07 Feb 04 - 10:22 AM
Rustic Rebel 07 Feb 04 - 06:00 AM
Rapparee 06 Feb 04 - 04:20 PM
Little Hawk 06 Feb 04 - 12:48 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 04 - 11:00 AM
s6k 06 Feb 04 - 10:39 AM
Little Hawk 06 Feb 04 - 09:14 AM
Rapparee 06 Feb 04 - 09:07 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Feb 04 - 12:12 AM
Rustic Rebel 05 Feb 04 - 11:34 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Feb 04 - 09:45 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: s6k
Date: 10 Feb 04 - 04:39 PM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 04 - 03:39 PM

Thanks, Bee-dub, but I don't need polish. My spirit shines so brightly that it blinds itself. It is a guiding beacon for all for all ages, a pharos guiding the lost ships to safe harbor (harbour for English, etc. ships). Indeed, polishing it would only dull it, since there ain't nothing like what I got. Look to the northwest! Do you see that incandescent glow? That's my spirit.

Thought you'd like to know before you became frightened and thought it might be a comet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Feb 04 - 01:19 PM

Forty-two bars of Psyche Soap? I believe you're confusing Psyche Soap with either Karma Kleaner or Dogma Detergent. One bar of Psyche Soap should last for years unless you really want to find out what it's like to have the mind of a slab of granite. Karma Kleaner, on the other hand, can be used often as you like. And, of course, Dogma Detergent should be used three or four times a day.

We do have a special Valentine's Day giftpack of a can of Spiritual Polish, a bar of Psyche Soap, a tube of Karma Kleaner and a bottle of Dogma Detergent all wrapped up in a nice heart-shaped box. Just between you and me though, sales aren't gong too well and if you can wait until Sunday they'll probably be marked down to half-price.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 10 Feb 04 - 02:30 AM

I'll take 42 bars of that psyche soap, just 'cuz I like the number 42. It really has nothing to do with needing 42 bars of soap to spiritually polish my spirit that needs 42 bars of polish to spirit my psyche.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Feb 04 - 01:56 AM

SPECIAL SALE!!!

Buy one economy-size can of Spritual Polish
and get a free bar of Psyche Soap!


Limited time offer for MOABites only. Limit one per customer. No dealers, please.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 10 Feb 04 - 01:22 AM

Smell farters are my friends. I long to see them pants clean, for them stains brown are in my laundry everyday.

What? the hell she talkin' 'bout?......

I talkin' 'bout the new stains that have appeared ever since Rapaire warned us of the end 'o time that we know it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 04 - 09:27 PM

Nice song, BWL!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Feb 04 - 06:19 PM

Excerpt from my song about the time I picked up Jesus while He was hitchhiking along Interstate 10 somewhere between Pensacola, Florida and Mobile, Alabama

He said, "Son, when I was down here before with you all
I just put up a sign pointin' the way, that was all,
But it makes me so mad I could just about explode.
They done polished the signpost so dad-burned bright
You can see that sucker shinin' in the middle of the night
But nobody's doin' any travelin' down the road."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Shlio
Date: 09 Feb 04 - 05:09 PM

I think even the fart-smellers have to draw the line somewhere, CarolC. Eternal Spaw fragrance may just be too much for them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 04 - 04:42 PM

Only a good dose of Bill Shatner could really clear the air around here at this point...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: s6k
Date: 09 Feb 04 - 04:28 PM

/me lets rip


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 04 - 03:24 PM

Y'all have been warned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 09 Feb 04 - 02:05 PM

And if they turned away the spirit-polishers of the MOABites, they would be consumed in the eternal stench of Spaw, as the heavens themselves are disrupted

But to the fart smellers, would this not be heaven? I think it would.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Shlio
Date: 09 Feb 04 - 01:58 PM

Did you not know it is written:

"And God created the smellers of farts and decreed that they should be looked down upon for their sins, until they could be cleansed by the polishing of their spirits.

And if they turned away the spirit-polishers of the MOABites, they would be consumed in the eternal stench of Spaw, as the heavens themselves are disrupted"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 04 - 09:19 AM

Yes, yes yes.

Now, if there ARE such people, my question is do they get to go to Heaven? Is fart-smelling condemned by any Book?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: s6k
Date: 09 Feb 04 - 09:18 AM

i fear nothing, smeg head


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 04 - 08:52 AM

Oh, stop this right now!

There are far far more important things than BS!

In April and May, there may well be TWO comets visible to the naked (or nekkid) eye! And you know what THAT means!

Right.

It could well be the End Of The World when C/2002 T7 (LINEAR) and C/2002 Q4 (NEAT) appear in the skies.

If you doubt me, go here, here, and for a Canadian view, here.

Load the lifeboats! This could be worse than last August when the Martians attacked!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: s6k
Date: 09 Feb 04 - 04:25 AM

Meh


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 09 Feb 04 - 01:00 AM

( ...BTW, you did a beautiful job of setting me up for my 'smart feller'/'fart smeller' punchline. Thanks for that ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 08 Feb 04 - 11:50 PM

;-)

Amos, have you forgotten which thread this is?

(In case you did forget... it's the Mother of all BS threads. It's a thread for BS. You should assume that anything I post here may be, and probably is, humor.)

Anyway, and I'm not joking on this part... if I'm going to strive for anything, spiritually speaking, I think I would prefer to strive for inner luminescence and not polish. But that's just me. If polishing works for you, go for it.

;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 04 - 10:55 PM

Carol:

I would never suggest that anyone needed SP; inherently one cannot be lacking it, basically. But I did suggest burnishing up your faith in human nature in response to your suspicions about random individuals turning out to be fart smellers on a perverted quest for the perfect methane sulfide. So far, and no further.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 08 Feb 04 - 08:31 PM

I'm not dyslexic, but I do have early stage cataracts and pretty bad astigmatism. So I have some difficulty making out some letters in combination. Does that count?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Feb 04 - 08:24 PM

Ah-hah! I thought I detected someone taking the Great Man's name in vain (not to mention my own)...

Well, Amos, you are quite correct in describing my cunning plot to establish Mudcat iconhood for myself and Mr Shatner. You see, when I first looked in here I noticed that there was this weird character called Catspaw49 who had turned himself into an icon through various similar strategies...such as behaving like a thoughtless yahoo (at times) and polluting the Cat with inane stories about farts and hillbillies named Paw & Cletus. Dreadful stuff!

I figured, "Hell, if he can do it why can't I? What would be the most annoying thing I could come up with...yet the most hard to eradicate?" Shatner!!! The moment I thought of him in his harvest gold lycra (ripped) T-shirt I knew it had to be! The rest is history. :-)

Then Shane stepped in to give Paw & Cletus a run for their money in the stupidity department. Decent, eh?

Spaw responded by attacking Shatner with utter contempt, and finally by ignoring him totally...but this was actually an admission of defeat! Yes, Shatner routed the mighty Catspaw and his stable of fictional idiots, because Shatner is REAL! And Canadian!

Ahem *   Moving on to other things, are you people all dyslexic or something? Despite the fact that Shlio has always spelled her name on this forum as "Shlio"...note: Shhhhleee----O...you keep writing it as "Shilo". C'mon! Just because a famous Civil War battle happened in Shilo, not Shlio, is no excuse! Get with it. Read the letters and pronounce with care.

Along the same line, when Japanese commit suicide the term is not "harry carry"! There is a Japanese expression from which that Americanism arose...and it is "hara kiri". Okay? Hah rah kee ree.

Furthermore, Iraq is not pronounced "Eye Rack". It is pronounced Eeee Raaahk. Got it? Somebody tell the State Department, please.

- LH


Heh! I love excuses to get pedantic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 08 Feb 04 - 08:16 PM

Are you suggesting that my spirit needs to be polished, Amos, or that I should be polishing other people's spirits?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 04 - 07:48 PM

Spiritual polish only effects the surface, Amos.

I think you have it confused with lemon oil, CC!! :>) I suggest that anything that actually works a polish on the spirit is going to go pretty darn deep.

And I get to call, because I invented the expression!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 08 Feb 04 - 05:02 PM

Spiritual polish only effects the surface, Amos. What LH does goes a lot deeper than that. And it doesn't involve smelling anything ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 04 - 01:45 PM

Not at all -- sorry for the typo -- just apply spiritual polish and rub vigorously. Little Hawk is currently offering a fine Canadian brand of S.P. quite cheaply. It can also be found from various purveyors in the US, some of whom tend to adulterate the product for increased profit.

However, it doesn't harm anything -- it all works the same.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 08 Feb 04 - 01:40 PM

why not burnish u0p your faith in human nature

"burnish u0p"?

I don't have to smell anything to do that, do I?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 04 - 01:33 PM

Carol:

Your statistics indicate it is not very likely; why not burnish u0p your faith in human nature?? :>)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: s6k
Date: 08 Feb 04 - 01:20 PM

death to the anti shatner


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 08 Feb 04 - 01:17 PM

Ahhh, the aroma of others could send you on an emotional skyward journey through the troposphere,the stratosphere, the thermosphere, on into the exosphere, through 100,000 light years of the Milky way and beyond,
or...
spiralling down through the continental crust, the upper mantle, through the transition zone, to the lower mantle,on to the inner depths of the outer core, reaching the inner core, with one brief whiff.
Human scent is delightful, but smelling farts? That's something we should talk to Spaw about!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 08 Feb 04 - 12:06 PM

...or he could be one of Canada's many great jokes on the US, Amos.

Carol; as for going around smelling others' farts, how many people including yourself do you know who would do or have done this?

None that have admitted to it, Amos. But you never know about people. That smart feller who works in the cubicle near yours could, in reality, be a fart smeller.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 04 - 10:52 AM

Shilo:

Shatner is a foil, originally chosen by Little Hawk as the means for ascending to Great Status here on the Cat. By creating an Icon of discussion, a token of all Mudcat polemic, merely through the exercise of vast quantites of posts on the subject and the use of a lot of superlatives, Little Hawk infested Mudcat's vocabulary with his Shatner nomenclature, thus placing himself in a position as Senior Editor of the Mudcat, in some minds, anyway. Thus those who were around then can't see or say "Shatner" without thinking "Liddle Harg" so obviously it was a successful mind-control experiment.

We are working very hard on forgiving Little Hawk for this random, self-serving act of pollution, because we love him so, but it is NOT an easy transition to make.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Shlio
Date: 08 Feb 04 - 10:36 AM

"Smelling other people's farts"?! Now why would I want to sink as low as that? Smelling is nothing compared to reading your wonderfully foul excretions.

Having now googled Shatner (not a job for the faint-hearted) I still don't see why he receives adulation from otherwise apparently sane people. One of life's great mysteries, I presume...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 04 - 10:21 AM

Seems to me that that wouldn't be eggsacktly the whey to go about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 04 - 09:39 AM

Sometimes the whey that is seen is not the whey, Carol; as for going around smelling others' farts, how many people including yourself do you know who would do or have done this? I am constantly having my horizons expanded here on the Mudcat!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: s6k
Date: 07 Feb 04 - 07:51 PM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 07 Feb 04 - 06:32 PM

I can't have the egg, whey, or buttermilk either. But I'm happy to have your share of accordion, Bee-dubya-ell.

Shilo, I've posted to this thread numerous times, and I haven't even read the whole thing. And I can't shake the feeling that purposely setting out to read the whole thing is somehow a lot like purposely going around smelling other people's farts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 04 - 10:34 AM

Tell us about the times you shared the stage with Shatner, LF.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Leadfingers
Date: 07 Feb 04 - 10:22 AM

I have been doing my best to ignore this thread but now feel inspired to add something to it. The trouble is I cant think of any thing to say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 07 Feb 04 - 06:00 AM

I thought I would have to put an end to this Shatner idolization thing going on so I asked him to come to my house for an interview and he graciously accepted.
He asked me what would be our main subject of the interview and I told him it would be Shatnerized potty strips and he said and I quote, "That's a subject I can get wrapped up in. I will be there with rings on my fingers and bells on my toes and a bone in my nose-ho-ho."
If anyone wants to join, Bill will be here on Feb.19th 2004 10:00 Central. Pm for directions. After the interview refreshments of Kool-aid and Bee-Dubya-ell's pancakes, will be served.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 04 - 04:20 PM

Yes, I did. But I felt it sacreligious to remove it from the toilet, so I had the whole thing bronzed. Even the water in the bowl. It's really quite unique.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Feb 04 - 12:48 PM

I hope you had the good sense to keep it and have it bronzed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 04 - 11:00 AM

I stayed in a motel and there was a piece of paper across the toilet that said it had been Shatnerized.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: s6k
Date: 06 Feb 04 - 10:39 AM

DEATH TO THE ANTI SHATNER


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Feb 04 - 09:14 AM

Have we achieved Shatnerization yet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 04 - 09:07 AM

Bee-dubya, at least they don't have saltpeter in 'em!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Feb 04 - 12:12 AM

Yer right, RR, those cakes do have some funky shit in 'em. My wife brung 'em home from her brother-in-law's house (he ain't my damn brother-in-law). Anyways, the package is unopened and purty damned likely to stay that way. But it looks sorta cute sittin' in the referigertator reefrigertooter ice box.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 05 Feb 04 - 11:34 PM

Hi Shilo,
Welcome to Moab. I am truely impressed with you! You have managed to do what few will admit to. Read 2090 posts of almost pure bullshit. I agree that you should be dubbed BS Archivist Extraordinaire or something like it.


How to make egg tempra...
Break an egg.
Let the slimy white run through your hands and save the yolk.
Use your T-shirt or whatever you have handy to dry the yolk off as best you can.
Pierce the yolk and sqeeze everything you can from the thin outer membrane.
Mix with water and dry pigment.
Paint a pretty picture on a funky looking piece of wood.


Bee-Dubya, Those cakes have some funky shit in them are they really a food stuff or something to polish my car tires with?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Feb 04 - 09:45 PM

Attention, Shlio! You have now reached the Event Horizon of BS. You will soon find yourself being sucked deeper and deeper into the Heart of BS. Don't fight it. There is no escape. The MOAB will suck all the BS out of you. You will have no interest in posting to other threads because the call of the MOAB will become the only thing you hear.

*************************************************

Here are the ingredients in Country Fixin's Buttermilk Pancake Mix:

Enriched wheat flour (Niacin, reduced iron, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid), yellow corn flour, rye flour, dextrose, leavening (sodium bicarbonate, monocalcium phosphate, sodium aluminum phosphate, sodium acid pyrophosphate, egg, partially hydrogenated vegetable shortening (cottonseed and/or soybean oil), salt, whey, buttermilk, sugar, lecithin.

CarolC cannot eat them 'cause she has corn allergy.

I have accordion allergy.


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