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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 18 Jun 14 - 02:50 PM
gnu 18 Jun 14 - 02:45 PM
gnu 18 Jun 14 - 01:32 PM
Acme 18 Jun 14 - 12:39 PM
Rapparee 18 Jun 14 - 10:05 AM
gnu 18 Jun 14 - 08:03 AM
Rapparee 17 Jun 14 - 10:57 PM
Amos 17 Jun 14 - 08:10 PM
Rapparee 17 Jun 14 - 07:32 PM
Rapparee 17 Jun 14 - 06:18 PM
gnu 17 Jun 14 - 05:52 PM
Amos 17 Jun 14 - 03:16 PM
Acme 17 Jun 14 - 02:10 PM
gnu 17 Jun 14 - 02:06 PM
Rapparee 17 Jun 14 - 01:03 PM
Acme 17 Jun 14 - 12:38 PM
gnu 17 Jun 14 - 10:49 AM
Acme 17 Jun 14 - 10:30 AM
Rapparee 16 Jun 14 - 09:40 PM
Amos 16 Jun 14 - 06:46 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 14 - 05:28 PM
Amos 16 Jun 14 - 03:15 PM
Amos 16 Jun 14 - 03:10 PM
Acme 16 Jun 14 - 02:07 PM
Acme 16 Jun 14 - 10:44 AM
Rapparee 16 Jun 14 - 10:15 AM
gnu 16 Jun 14 - 06:32 AM
Ebbie 16 Jun 14 - 02:39 AM
Amos 16 Jun 14 - 01:19 AM
Rapparee 16 Jun 14 - 12:33 AM
gnu 15 Jun 14 - 05:15 PM
Acme 15 Jun 14 - 04:00 PM
Amos 15 Jun 14 - 03:35 PM
gnu 15 Jun 14 - 08:39 AM
Acme 15 Jun 14 - 02:16 AM
gnu 15 Jun 14 - 01:32 AM
Rapparee 14 Jun 14 - 10:38 PM
gnu 14 Jun 14 - 02:03 PM
gnu 14 Jun 14 - 07:46 AM
Rapparee 13 Jun 14 - 10:27 PM
gnu 13 Jun 14 - 06:13 PM
Amos 13 Jun 14 - 02:32 PM
Rapparee 13 Jun 14 - 01:19 PM
Acme 13 Jun 14 - 11:03 AM
gnu 12 Jun 14 - 08:04 PM
Amos 12 Jun 14 - 07:34 PM
Acme 12 Jun 14 - 04:59 PM
Rapparee 12 Jun 14 - 03:25 PM
Amos 12 Jun 14 - 12:42 PM
gnu 12 Jun 14 - 06:06 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jun 14 - 02:50 PM

Oh, yeah! Rap... how's the boss doin with the surgery n such?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jun 14 - 02:45 PM

Sara Lee and me are bakin a Dutch Apple Pie. Well, it's not from Dutch Land. It's in that style. Boy OH boy it smells good. Yesterday, ran the new mini split heats pumps to ward off the semi-savage hot weather. Today, 15C, rain and a moderate breeze so the oven is welcome to supply the heat and the aroma. Them pies that Sara puts together are $4 on sale and, buddy (buddyettes?), no way ya could put such a pie together for that price unless ya had yer own orchard. Mum tell me they are deeeelicious. I wouldn't know on accounta I don't eat sweets at all. Oh, I know I will eventually develop a sweet tooth as I age. Just seems to happen from what I seen over the years with the old folks I know. I expect that when I get to Rap's age, I will be suckin on hard candy while I sleep.

Soon be time to cook the roast beef (boneless blade roast, spuds, carrots and turnip leftovers) hash. Why am I telling all and sundry on the internUt such? I dunno. I am bored. It's raining. My back and legs are in constant and moderately severe pain and every arthritic joint in my body is asking for relief but I refuse to give them pain killing drugs. Fuck em... pussies! All I have to do is clean this dump up and, well, youse all know I have a housework allergy. So, I bore youse with my constant and moderately severe drivel.

Heh. If you read all that, at ease, carry on... smoke em if ya got em.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jun 14 - 01:32 PM

If I am elected Prime Minister of this land, The True North Strong and Free, there will be a crossword puzzle in every bathroom and outhouse in the nation from sea to sea to sea to border. Oh Canada, I sit on guard for thee.

BTW... did you get 9 Down today? I don't watch movies with that Will Farrell guy in them... or whatever the hell his name is. Can't stand him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jun 14 - 12:39 PM

Seems to me that it's time to dance!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 14 - 10:05 AM

Amos hurt my feelings and I've spent the entire night huddled under the porch, whimpering and crying. My self-esteem is in tatters and my id has packed up and left with my Ego and Superego to drown their sorrows in alcoholic beverages and they told me that they may never return. I no longer have even a smidgen of a gestalt left.

OH, WOE IS ME!!!! Living in desert country there is not even a river into which to cast my lorn and bereft body!!!! Therefore I shall not End It All.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jun 14 - 08:03 AM

Those darns kids, eh? What will they come up with next?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 10:57 PM

Is that in English? I have a degree in English and even some graduate work in it and I've even taken a class in linguistics. Treeing and/or diagramming the sentences in your last post yield The Last Post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 08:10 PM

I am talking about the post from the Dark Side of Rapaire, dated 16 Jun 14 - 09:40 PM , in which you glibly shunned owning up to an egregious miscomprehension by pretending you were talking about something else, which in fact you made up on the spot to use as rationalization of the most transparent and disingenuous kind.

A
First Vowel


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 07:32 PM

Amos? What are you talking about? My last post dealt with my wife's third bout with cancer. It was a basel cell carcinoma, with morphea, that was removed (probably in its entirety) by Mohs' technique of surgery for such things.

I'm putting in a request to The Board that you have your Vocabulary License downgraded to Monosyllabic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 06:18 PM

Well, so far she's had a trifecta on cancer. It looks like this one got knocked out on the first try.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 05:52 PM

Bravo Amos! Well done! I only had to look up one word from your last post. Thanks for 'dumbing down' things for this poor good old boy from the fly infested bog country of Kent County, NB.ca.

Hmmm... have I challenged the literary dragon that I might now be consumed in an eternal flame of a spate of verbiage of which I am bereft? If so, so mote it be. Sides, I can't be arsed to look up alla them there words what I don't know. Long as I gets the gist of er, I'm cool. Now... mowing and planting tomatoes!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 03:16 PM

Rapparree, your glibness is beyond mortal comprehension, and there is none more facile, more deft at evasion, more dissembling, more jejune, or more meretricious than your own exalted self. Maybe you should try re-experiencing the Great Naked Entrance from which we all draw our more realistic powers.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 02:10 PM

Good luck to Pat with that procedure. I need to see a dermatologist one of these days, see if there are any spots that need addressing. (None that I know of, but having a trained eye take a look is a good thing).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 02:06 PM

Oh dear I hope all goes well and recovery is quick with as little pain as possible.

I don't think Vic is putting anything in. No veggies last year... his wife passed suddenly last winter and he took it real hard. I'll offer them to George and Linda. Ten bucks says they will refuse them. Just a buck on the snarky comment part. Depends on what kind of mood they are in. Hmmm. Now I am curious....

George was takin a break from yard work and drinkin from an unfamiliar dark brown bottle. He was very talkative and offered me one which I politely refused, being insure of the contents. He was glad to take the flower8s and promptly hollered, "Linda. ya got a couple more flowers to plant." Sooo... 1,2,3,4,5,6,7... about that; 11/7 = $1.57 each. I'll have it next time youse are in town. If ya want me ta mail it, it $0.38 but since we don't got no pennies no mare, I gotta round that up to 40p. I'll spring for the envelope since I am such a nice guy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 01:03 PM

Well, I got Pat to the dermatologist in time for her surgery this morning. Mohs -- a basal cell carcinoma on her neck. Normally nothing much but this is sitting on top of on the scars from her thyroid cancer surgery, and since it's a "morphea" type it could take some time to get it all out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 12:38 PM

Seems a shame to waste two. Is there someplace you can plant them as a surprise for a neighbor? A random act of kindness?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 10:49 AM

140 Snapdragons potted. 2 didn't make it. 2 left... anybody want em?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jun 14 - 10:30 AM

MOM nearly fell off the bottom this morning while you lot are busy composing ditties.

Yer welcome.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 09:40 PM

I have a Poetic License. Number 58001 as a matter of fact. Never expires, even after I'm theoretically "dead." I also happen to know that yours was revoked, Amos, for penning Alexandrines without a caesura and with thirteen syllables.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 06:46 PM

IF you think Fifty Eight K and one is the same as Fifty Kay, Eight and One, you have some very basic reeducation ahead of you, my fran'...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 05:28 PM

Now fifty-eight K and one
Heaves into our sight
Sails full rigged and bos'n tight
Captain drunk and very numb
Boy! does Mom think he is dumb!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 03:15 PM

Now no longer need you wait
For here is Fifty K and Eight!
Scribble more upon your slates
And toss your BS out to Fate.
None can lose where none has won,
But when the Kays reach Fifty-One
We'll know a fine days' work was done
And all may go out drinking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 03:10 PM

Be of good cheer, Gnuser--being naked is the only way to start out. We all did it! It was great! And look how well you turned out! Chin up, best foot forward, and release the bitterneess unto the Great Void, and hie thysel' off to the sunnier side of the street. I am sure there is one somewhere in Moncton...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 02:07 PM

For Rap: Picked up from a link by George Takei on Facebook.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 10:44 AM

I was hoping to do solar panels this summer but the transmission may have put a halt to those plans. Thanks for the reminder, though - I'll still do the research.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 10:15 AM

Humph! WE'RE having a new furnace (98% efficiency) AND new A/C installed at the end of July/first of August!

Of course, the heat exchanger in current furnace won't take another winter and the A/C is so old it require someone to pump up the gas so that the compressor will compress, but that's good exercise. Then we need part of the deck rebuilt and work done on the columns out front and...does anyone know a reputable loan shark? Fortunately the electric furnace can simply have the parts replaced as they fail.

However! I have been given the location of a large cinnabar deposit and hope soon to file on the claim. Then I'll be rich, rich, rich!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 06:32 AM

See what happens when you bare your sole? Yer naked. And it's cold here. I have a hoodie on... with the hood up. This is the best spring we've had in years. Two years ago, during the second week of May, it went from early spring to summer in two days and it stayed hot until into October. It was so bloody hot that, on many days in June to September, Mum only got out of the house to get in the car to go to the grocery stores. This has been a glorious spring and I expect it to continue for another week. After today, my house, and tomorrow, Mum's house, will have mini-split heat pumps... screw summer heat. $3800 each but they will pay for themselves in 5 years by reducing the AC and heating bills. Fujitsus with ten years parts and labour. If they work well, I will flog the four air conditioners we use now and that will further defray the cost. So, I do lead an exciting life.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 02:39 AM

I, for one, Gary, would enjoy knowing you better; one way to do that is to read what you write. Say the word and I'll send you my email address...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 01:19 AM

Well, this constraint set is self-elected, and I ain't gonna run up there from here and buy you a damn puppy, but only because I can't choose one for ya. If your other writings are as good as the stuff you flog here at Mom's safe haven, then you oughta be putting them out there on Scribd or some such writer's site. To reach is divine, dude.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 12:33 AM

Gnu, you realize now that we'll be staying at your place through New Years, right? Mom said to "Make tracks for Moncton" and we do what Mom says.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jun 14 - 05:15 PM

Yeah, I know. Fact of the matter is that I am a bitter recluse who doesn't want any 3D fiends, human or animal. There... I said it. I even tried to dissuade Amos from visiting and he wouldn't take no for an answer, for which I am grateful as it was the best night of my life in a long time... and since.

So, there it is for what it's worth. I envy both of you. I just ain't ready yet. I have hoed a loooong row and the weeds took over. I may get my garden back someday. For now, I write poetry, songs, and prose but I keep them to myself. I have friends on the internUt and you are among them. You and sundry are my solace and sanity.

Now... how's that for honesty? And, no, don't answer. I am baking cookies and I cannot be distracted. Spice cookies. They smell deeeelicious.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jun 14 - 04:00 PM

And you've heard plenty of stories of the trio who live at my house. As far as quality of life, they can be a game-changer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 14 - 03:35 PM

Gnu. think twice. A dog --if you choose wisely-- will fill your heart and make you get exercise. All I can say is, Maggie the Dog (and her secret identity, Mudflanks McFuzzbutt the Rocket Dog) has been very good for me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jun 14 - 08:39 AM

No, I don't think the cop was outta line. If you start moving a guy along and he gets owly with ya, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. He wasn't rough with the. He was... ah... using due force.

A dog? I don't have time for a dog. I gotta eat, sleep, cook for Mum, take care of two properties... Why, if I had a dog, I wouldn't have any time to waste on the internUt. Hmmmm...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jun 14 - 02:16 AM

Sounds like a bit of an over-reaction by the local gendarme, gnu. Any idea who the inebriated one was?

Headed to bed myself. I slept late because I did and now I'm up late because I am. Dogs snoring quietly on the floor (why don't you get a dog, Gary - it could have barked at the back door, a canine version of "move along, my good fellow!")


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jun 14 - 01:32 AM

It's near the little 2-thirty on the o'clock and I can't sleep. The RCMP didn't leave until near 1AM. Took a while for officer good lookin blond lady to take my statement.

I was havin a few ales whilst watchin the football game (soccer as you Yanks call it) and fell asleep in the chair as one often does whilst watchin the team with a one goal lead rag the puck in an adult game of keep-away. I woke nigh to midnight, proceeded to do the usual regimen... pee, floss, brush, gargle, check the perimeter. When I opened my back door to ensure all was secure, it was not. There was a person sitting on my back steps in what appeared to be a semi-conscious state. Closed and locked the door and dialed 911.

I'll forego the details but a lone HUGE RCMP officer arrived in a big van and said (when I got to the back door after talking to him out front), "Do not resist." and had his arm around buddy's neck. When he had him on the ground, knee in his back and holding both wrists with his massive left mitt, he said, "When a police officer tells you to do something, you don't resist." Buddy says, "I agree 110%. 115%." More details are available but not required for the gist of the story. Then a cruiser pulls up and... well... details are not important. What is important is the good looking blond lady RCMP (yes, even at such a time, I, being a male, was admiring her looks... sue me) took my statement and she wrote the works down which she then read back to me before I signed it and initialed the first page. That took a while.

Times have changed in the old hood. And I can't sleep and there's no football on the telly. Soooo, you gotta read this. Sorry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 14 - 10:38 PM

Actually, I believe that was written by Dominic Behan. I think it was, anyway. I could just be testing you.

Went out and shot cowboys today. Did okay, but this was the first time my .45-70 was fired AND I didn't have to do it! That way if it blows up someone else is holding it. You learn these things as you get older. Shootin' ahrns are all tucked snugly in bed, bullets are bedded down Elsewhere, and I'm content with my score, whatever it was. Won't do it again until August (gonna be out of town in July).

Mom knows what a good boy I've been, and yes, I can play the trumpet AND sing AND play the bodhran AND the piano AND the banjo at the same time if I should want to do so. Which I don't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jun 14 - 02:03 PM

Fondly thinking of the British Crown today by recalling a song I used to be able to sing in praise with great gusto.

God Bless England

Oh, I'll tell you a tale of peace and love
Whack fol the diddle o the die do day
Of a land that reigns all lands above
Whack fol the diddle o the die do day
May peace and plenty be her share
Who kept our homes from want and care
Oh, God bless England is our prayer
Whack fol the diddle o the die do day

Chorus:
Whack fol the diddle o the die do day
So we say "hip hooray"
Come and listen while we pray (1st chorus only)
Whack fol the diddle o the die do day

Now our fathers oft were naughty boys
For pikes and guns are dangerous toys
At Ballinahabwee and at Bunker's hill
We made poor England cry her fill
But old Brittania loves us still

God bless England so we pray (remaining choruses)

Now, when we were savage, fierce and wild
She came as a mother to her child
Gently raised us from the slime
And kept our hands from hellish crime
And she sent us to heaven in our own good time

Well, now Irish men forget the past
And think of the day that's coming fast
When we shall all be civilized
Neat and clean and well advised
Oh, won't mother England be surprised?


God Bless England lyrics - Tommy Makem | AllTheLyrics.com


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jun 14 - 07:46 AM

I figured you could do both at the same time, omnipotent one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 14 - 10:27 PM

I did a good deed once. I stopped singing and took up the trumpet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jun 14 - 06:13 PM

So. I am up ta yer Sobeys and only get in two good deeds. Off ta yer Coop. As I am walking ta the door, I spot a middle aged woman putting her last item in her car so I strode over and said, "Grab yer wallet, Maam, and I'll take the cart back for you. She reaches for her wallet and says, angrily, "I wasn't DONE, quite YET." after I had the cart about 6 feet toward the door. I turned and said, "That's why I told you to grab your wallet." The ensuing spew of crap from her led me to say, on my walk to the Coop, loudly, "Have a nice day." Then, while she was still ranting, I said, so she could not hear, "Stupid bitch." just as a gentleman was passing by on his way to his car, about ten feet away from me. She was still ranting but I was oblivious.

I began inspecting the hanging flower pots near the front door and the gentleman returned and approached me and asked me what she said. I recounted the encounter. Then, he recounted his encounter with her about 30 minutes prior upon parking at the Coop and added, "So, it isn't just you she is mad at... it's the world." Nice guy that took time out of his day to do a good deed. Made me feel good and I thanked him graciously.

What goes around comes around, eh? Good deeds included. Made my day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jun 14 - 02:32 PM

Especially before-and-after-chewing side by side photos.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 14 - 01:19 PM

Tell her to provide close-ups of the food -- REALLY close up close ups. Like the texture of the bread and stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jun 14 - 11:03 AM

She's probably hitting facebook via restaurant WiFi, hence the preponderance of food photos. I've removed a couple of my remarks (asking for a wider view of what she's seeing) so maybe she'll stop the pushback (only posting phood photos). Psychology 201 - child-rearing and more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jun 14 - 08:04 PM

All things glow in Japan due to that fucked up Shima. Getting worse if you follow the news. About 1/3 of young children recently tested in the prefecture and close by it have been referred for further testing for thyroid disease (cancer). One old fellah found out his crops that were cleared to be sold were contaminated and he committed suicide. The 'news' is not readily found but it is available. It's tragic and frightening. Amos... I hope you are not eating any tuna.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jun 14 - 07:34 PM

I don't need an big old jet plane
I don't need my own sampan
All I want is you with me
And moonglow in Japan.
To walk the streets of Tokyo
With you my geisha-san
To sip some rice wine on the shore,
ANd moonglow in Japan.

Irving Dusseldorf
Tin Plate Alley, 1928


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jun 14 - 04:59 PM

Moonglow is in Japan for a week. So far posting photos of meals. I hope she looks up from her plate and examines the countryside around her. In one photo I see my the strap of my camera (a loaner) around her neck, so I know she has intentions to take photos and look around. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 14 - 03:25 PM

Actually and really I've used both a slipstick AND a slapstick. The latter was during my career on stage...top billing in, for example, Shaw's "Androcles". The critics were unanimous in their praise for my role, but I left it for tech so I could set fire to Dracula.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jun 14 - 12:42 PM

Evil black harbingers of chaotic dissipation, be gone!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jun 14 - 06:06 AM

I woke at 5AM with a song playing in my head. It went... Caw, caw, caw, caw, caw, caw; CHO : Caw, caw, caw, caw, caw, caw.

I call it, "Die Crow Die". That's the short title.


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