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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 17 Dec 16 - 10:44 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Dec 16 - 10:21 PM
Rapparee 16 Dec 16 - 09:01 PM
keberoxu 16 Dec 16 - 08:28 PM
Rapparee 16 Dec 16 - 06:23 PM
gnu 16 Dec 16 - 04:13 PM
Rapparee 16 Dec 16 - 10:05 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Dec 16 - 01:35 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 16 - 10:01 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Dec 16 - 06:12 AM
Rapparee 14 Dec 16 - 08:54 PM
gnu 14 Dec 16 - 12:53 PM
Donuel 14 Dec 16 - 09:40 AM
Rapparee 14 Dec 16 - 09:25 AM
Rapparee 13 Dec 16 - 11:02 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 16 - 09:31 AM
Amos 12 Dec 16 - 11:59 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 16 - 10:24 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Dec 16 - 06:01 PM
keberoxu 12 Dec 16 - 05:20 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Dec 16 - 01:08 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Dec 16 - 11:23 AM
Rapparee 12 Dec 16 - 10:35 AM
Rapparee 11 Dec 16 - 09:23 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Dec 16 - 08:44 AM
Amos 10 Dec 16 - 11:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Dec 16 - 11:48 PM
Rapparee 10 Dec 16 - 10:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Dec 16 - 03:24 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Dec 16 - 04:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Dec 16 - 04:01 PM
Donuel 09 Dec 16 - 03:11 PM
Amos 09 Dec 16 - 03:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Dec 16 - 11:11 AM
Rapparee 09 Dec 16 - 09:31 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Dec 16 - 03:45 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 16 - 03:18 PM
Rapparee 07 Dec 16 - 05:15 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Dec 16 - 03:32 PM
gnu 07 Dec 16 - 03:23 PM
Rapparee 07 Dec 16 - 12:54 PM
Amos 06 Dec 16 - 03:46 PM
Rapparee 06 Dec 16 - 09:00 AM
Rapparee 06 Dec 16 - 08:49 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Dec 16 - 07:32 PM
Amos 05 Dec 16 - 06:44 PM
keberoxu 05 Dec 16 - 12:23 PM
Rapparee 05 Dec 16 - 10:09 AM
Amos 04 Dec 16 - 11:31 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 16 - 10:38 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Dec 16 - 10:44 AM

I always wondered about Lapsang Souchong tea - in my household (where we had some, sent by my father) as "roofing tar tea."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Dec 16 - 10:21 PM

No wonder they went out of business. Ground corn shucks, horsehair, and various mosses and seaweeds are the principle ingredients in SPAM, not tea. Somebody got their recipes mixed up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 16 - 09:01 PM

That was another abortive attempt at a new product, the tea being made from the used stuffings of New Brunswick mattresses back in the early 1920s. March 3, 1921, 3:34 p.m. was the initial announcement, the product was taken off the market at 6:23 a.m. the next day. It was decided that there was no market for a tea made from ground corn shucks, horsehair, and various mosses and seaweeds. Even though the company pointed out that the teabags were made from bed linens that had been washed, the Department of Health in Fredericton said no.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 Dec 16 - 08:28 PM

this brings to mind King Koil mattresses


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 16 - 06:23 PM

That's the reintroduction price of King Kohl. Check the label and/or ingredients.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Dec 16 - 04:13 PM

I bought 6X240 King Cole Tea. BB date is May 23, 2018. I might even start drinking tea again when the pot gets legalized here in The Great White Frozen as Justin promised he would make happen. One packet of King Cole to one pinch of a low TCH and high CBD content ganja and Bob's yer arhtritis eh? Disclaimer : I disagree with the proposed new "pot system"... not enough control for recreational/medical pot as proposed. But, BIG $$$ can't be stopped from fucking up good things... the bastards!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 16 - 10:05 AM

It's coming back! Word from Sussex, New Brunswick is that G. E. Barbour has purchased the Kohl's department store chain solely to market a revived "King Kohl" tea. This tea will be approved for vegans and will contain NOTHING that "rips off Mother Earth or causes harm to anything in any way." The initial advertising will be along the lines of "We sell you nothing for a huge amount of money" but phrased differently.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Dec 16 - 01:35 PM

...a regular supply wasn't reestablished until the late 1950s. By then "King Kohl" tea had changed its name and formulation.

Yes, and it was exceptionally bad timing on the part of the "King Kohl" folks, seeing as how the late '50s was also the era of Sputnik, whose resemblance to kohlrabi sparked a huge increase in the vegetable's popularity. People were going to farmers' markets and asking farmers if they had any of "them Sputnik lookin' thangs."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 16 - 10:01 AM

I see. I was thinking of a tea marketed when I lived in Kentucky.

Wasn't it originally made only from kohlrabi and hence was called "King Kohl"? I believe the rationing of kohlrabi led to the inclusion of the other "greens." That would have been during the Mahdist War, when Great Britain was critically short of kohlrabi and called upon their colonies to supply men, materiel, and kohlrabi. Canada patriotically responded with "Kohlrabi For The King" and sent so much that the nation bankrupted its kohlrabi supply for years to come -- a regular supply wasn't reestablished until the late 1950s. By then "King Kohl" tea had changed its name and formulation.

A variant, "King Coll", was marketed for a brief period. It contained only collard greens and while it was popular in some places in the Southern US it was a flop in Canada and was, like "New Coke," taken off the market.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Dec 16 - 06:12 AM

No, it's "Cole", as in "coleslaw". It's another word for cabbage. King Cole tea is made of a blend of leaves, stems, and flowers from various members of the cabbage (brassica) family. Plants which may be found in a batch of King Cole tea include kale, cabbage, collard greens, broccoli, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, kohlrabi, canola, turnip, and rutabaga.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 16 - 08:54 PM

I believe you misspelled "Coal" as "Cole." It's "King Coal Tea," the "Tea Made With Real Anthracite."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Dec 16 - 12:53 PM

HOLD THE PHONE!!! SHE'S OFF THE WIRE!!!

Starting tomorrow, The Real Atlantic Stupidstore* has 240 count boxes of King Cole Tea on sale for $4.99. I shall be there before daylight with a crisp $20 bill!

I shit you not.

* It WOULD be the "Superstore" if at least half of the employees knew something, anything, about half of the products but they don't. Don't get me wrong. It's a great place for groceries... on sale. And, at least twice a month, I buy something, go through the checkout, go to Customer Service, and get it for free because the checkout price was not as advertised in the weekly flier or as displayed on the shelf. Hey, if they wanna try to rip off customers at the checkout, two can play that game... I just pay without saying "That's not the correct price." Their "minced pies" are delicious and they were free on Sunday. >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Dec 16 - 09:40 AM

hey Rapaire how bout an Ode to a Hacker's EGO ?
You know, sumpin the NSA auto apps will pick up like Amos said.
Be sure to include the undeciphered code outside Langley.
That will really drive them nuts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 16 - 09:25 AM

Some of my bestest work!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 16 - 11:02 PM

Their faces gaunt, their eyes were blurred,
Their shorts all soaked with sweat.
They're writin' hard for an autolink, but they ain't writ it yet!
'Cause they got write forever on Trash 80s in the sky,
Drinkin' ice cold coffee, as they write on, hear their cry.

Yippie-I-ay, yippie-I-o
Bit buckets in the sky.

As the programmers wrote on by him, he heard one call his name,
"If you wanna to save your code from loops while writin' on your NeXT,
Then you'd best change your links today, or with us you will write,
Tryin' to debug the devil's script, no Mountain Dew at your side!"

Yippie-I-ay, yippie-I-o
Bit buckets in the sky.
Bit buckets in the sky.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 16 - 09:31 AM

An old programmer went riding out one dark and windy day,
On an overpass he rested as he went along his way,
When all at once a mighty herd of binary he saw,
A ploughin' through the ragged skies
And up a cloudy draw.

Yippee-yi-ay, yippee-yi-o,
The bit bucket in the sky.

Their headers were on fire and their comments made of steel,
Their functions black and shiny and their hot calls he could feel,
A bolt of fear went through him as they thundered through the sky,
For he saw programmers comin' hard
And he heard their mournful cry.

Yippee-yi-ay, yippee-yi-o,
Bit buckets in the sky.

(more to come!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 16 - 11:59 PM

It was intercepted by Federal security officers on its way across a wireless link to a satellite, Rapp. These buggers are everywhere, I am telling yoouse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 16 - 10:24 PM

I posted a post that was particularly insightful and yet full of that for which Mom is known around the world.

Whatever happened to it? Has it gone to The Great Bit Bucket In The Sky?

Which gives me an idea for an Olde Folke Tune....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Dec 16 - 06:01 PM

I have three Dremel tools and use them for lots of jobs, but there are some things they just can't do. For instance, you can't use a Dremel to milk a cow. That requires a Weedwacker.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 12 Dec 16 - 05:20 PM

Did you know that some people, owned by dogs, trim their dog's nails/claws with Dremel tools? Instead of just hacking through the claw, that is, and risking the cutting of the "quick."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Dec 16 - 01:08 PM

Hi, Mom! I just wrote a Christmas song for you!

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS - TOOLHEAD VERSION

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A big bag of cable ties

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Two miter saws and a big bag of cable ties

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Three drill bits, two miter saws and a big bag of cable ties

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Four socket sets, three drill bits, two miter saws and a big bag of cable ties

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Five Dremel tools
Four socket sets, three drill bits, two miter saws and a big bag of cable ties

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Six drills a drilling
Five Dremel tools
Four socket sets, three drill bits, two miter saws and a big bag of cable ties

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Seven sanders sanding, six drills a drilling
Five Dremel tools
Four socket sets, three drill bits, two miter saws and a big bag of cable ties

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eight planes a planing, seven sanders sanding, six drills a drilling
Five Dremel tools
Four socket sets, three drill bits, two miter saws and a big bag of cable ties

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Nine grinders grinding, eight planes a planing, seven sanders sanding, six drills a drilling
Five Dremel tools
Four socket sets, three drill bits, two miter saws and a big bag of cable ties

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Ten routers routing, nine grinders grinding, eight planes a planing, seven sanders sanding,
six drills a drilling
Five Dremel tools
Four socket sets, three drill bits, two miter saws and a big bag of cable ties

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eleven hammers hammering, ten routers routing, nine grinders grinding , eight planes a planing,
seven sanders sanding, six drills a drilling
Five Dremel tools
Four socket sets, three drill bits, two mitre saws and a big bag of cable ties

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Twelve levels leveling, eleven hammers hammering, ten routers routing, nine grinders grinding ,
eight planes a planing, seven sanders sanding, six drills a drilling
Five Dremel tools
Four socket sets, three drill bits, two miter saws and a big bag of cable ties


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Dec 16 - 11:23 AM

Well, that's just ducky!

That's a Mandarin duck, an east Asian species, closely related to our North American wood duck. Both are quite lovely, though my personal favorite duck is the hooded merganser. Possibly because they remind me of the mutant in my favorite Outer Limits episode.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 16 - 10:35 AM

Here is a really nice picture.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 16 - 09:23 PM

He can't drive it from every direction at once. At least not in this space-time. Besides, the local paper (Idaho State Journal) says that the chariot racing season is off and running in Preston.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Dec 16 - 08:44 AM

Mom! Weather Underground is telling me that it's currently 31.0°F and the wind is blowing from the northeast at 0 MPH. How can the wind be blowing from the northeast when it's not blowing at all?

If a car's stuck in a traffic jam, it's not moving but you can see which way it's pointing so you can assume it's going to resume moving in that direction when traffic clears (unless the driver puts it in the wrong gear). But that's not how the wind works. Just because the last detectable wind came from the northeast doesn't mean the next wind isn't going to come from a different direction all together. There are no "STAY IN YOUR LANE" or "NO U-TURNS" signs on the Aeolian Superhighway. Aeolus can drive his chariot wherever he damned well pleases!

Give it some thought after you've had your morning coffee and a couple of tokes. I patiently await your oh so wise reply.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 16 - 11:58 PM

Five pints of Irn Bru for Mom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Dec 16 - 11:48 PM

Oh boy!   A reward! Now I can afford that prewar Martin D-28!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 16 - 10:41 PM

Mom thanks you from the bottom of her little-bitty heart. We all thank you. Amos is sending you the reward; don't spend it all in one place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Dec 16 - 03:24 PM

Okay, Mom! Yes, it's exciting to live a bit dangerously and experience the thrill of having less than an hour to go before falling into the abyss, but it's time to go back to the top now. Up we go!

(Please note that I, unlike some of your more overly protective children, have allowed you to go into that last hour. Heck, I'd let you go right down to the last minute if I didn't have anything better to do than sit around watching the clock, but I've gotta go blow leaves off the roof.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Dec 16 - 04:21 PM

Human faces evolved to look like chimps' butts.

No further comment from me, but we anxiously await Little Hawk's reappearance....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Dec 16 - 04:01 PM

One term for a young human which seems to have no verb or gerund corollary is "god-dammed little shit-head". I have definitely heard adults use precisely that term when referring to a child, but I've never heard of anyone god-dammed little shit-heading around.

Same thing with "stupid little fucker". I'm pretty sure "stupid little fuckering" is not in the OED.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Dec 16 - 03:11 PM

Amos :<}


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 16 - 03:04 PM

adjective, Archaic.
1.
bearing children; pregnant.

She: I'm childing
He: What? Are you kidding?
She: No, I'm not kidding, I am childing.
He: Well don't expect me to be babying you.
She: Even when I am toddling and grave with the burden of childing?
He: I am NOT kidding.
She: Yes, you are.
He: I am not kidding. No babying.
She: I am doing the childing here, not you. You are just kidding around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Dec 16 - 11:11 AM

So, a young human may be referred to as a child, a kid, a toddler, or a baby. But childing, kidding, toddling, and babying all mean totally different things.

Doesn't matter to me. I live in the south where we call 'em all young-uns until they're old enough to shave, smoke, or dip snuff, whichever comes first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 16 - 09:31 AM

"Childing" means to be pregnant or fruitful, or to put new blossoms around old. Its usage declined after 1500 BCE.

Go to the next pregnant lady you see and chide her childing. If you see a pregnant man call the "National Enquirer" and chillingly chide that chilling childing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Dec 16 - 03:45 PM

Rap, there were almost two hours left before Mom would be in danger of falling. How is Mom ever going to learn self-sufficiency and independence if you're always there to catch her? It's the opposite of helicopter parenting. Helicopter childing is what it is!

(Did you know "childing" is a real word? I thought I was making it up, but Spell Checker says it's real. Well, I'll be hornswoggled! And Spell Checker says "hornswoggled" is not a real word, but I've been using it forever. Go figure....)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 16 - 03:18 PM

Saving Mom once again, I was reminded of the old tune:


Motherless children have a hard time when mother is gone
Motherless children have a hard time when mother is gone
Wanderin' 'round from door to door
They don't have no place to go
Motherless children have a hard time when mother is gone.

Some people say, "Sister will do when your mother is gone." (2x)
Some people say "Your sister will do"
Soon as she marries, turn her back on you.
Motherless children have a hard time when mother is gone.

Your wife or your husband may be good to you when your mother is gone.(2x)
Wife or your husband may be good to you,
Nobody treat you like your mother do.
Motherless children have a hard time when mother is gone.

Some people say, "Your auntie will do when your mother is gone." (2x)
Some people say "Your auntie will do"
Make a start, and then prove untrue.
Motherless children have a hard time when mother is gone.

Jesus will be a Father to you when your mother is gone. (2x)
Jesus will be a Father to you
In pain and sorrow He will lead you through.
Motherless children have a hard time when mother is gone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 16 - 05:15 PM

151 proof, gnu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Dec 16 - 03:32 PM

Oh, come now, Rapparee! Mom wouldn't have fallen off the page for another two hours and fifty-two minutes! Not even close! Lots of people can run an entire marathon in way less time than that. The Indianapolis 500 has been run in less time than that. Who knows what great things Mom might have accomplished in that two hours and fifty-two minutes? Probably not a damned thing, but who knows?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Dec 16 - 03:23 PM

I hope it was black rum of a decent sort.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 16 - 12:54 PM

Mom was mere moments from disasters! Quelle horreur! Only I seem to care! But I put her in her rocker with a nice quilt over her aged knees and a cup of rum-laced hot chocolate in her feeble hands.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Dec 16 - 03:46 PM

Sent them to Pocatello, postpaid express.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 16 - 09:00 AM

Amos, what did you ever do about that infestation of you-know-whats?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 16 - 08:49 AM

Everyone thinks that after the first of the year the price will come down. So, Amos, you fool 'em and raise the price. Then you can lower it to your original asking price and people will think they got a good deal. A true win-win situation!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Dec 16 - 07:32 PM

Hi Mom! Art fair season is over! Hurray! Unsold pots are snuggly wrapped in their boxes and nestled down for their three-month-long winter's nap. I don't give a shit whether visions of sugar plums dance in their heads or not.

I shall now spend a few weeks in The Land of Neglected Repairs where Roofing, Rescreening and Rot Repair all clamor for my attention. Each is hollering, "Me! Me! Me first!" But it's raining right now, so they can all piss off for a few days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 16 - 06:44 PM

I think I gott distracted during that last post. More viewers tomorrow. Not the best time of year, with Christmas looming, but who knows? Only the most determined will investigate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 05 Dec 16 - 12:23 PM

Well, the snow out here isn't for blowing. The temperature is mild, for December, and the whole thing is turning into a slushfest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 16 - 10:09 AM

Bad grammar or an incomplete sentence there, Amos.

I am glad for you that your house is generating interest and I hope that it sells soon. Then you can celebrate Christmas snug in your new home amidst the green hills of North Carolina, the Yule log roasting on an open fire and Jack Off clawing at your nose.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 16 - 11:31 PM

Anothe r Open House today with a lot of interest being stirred up. One family wants to convert the house into an Elder Care home for six residents. A nice kosher family might want it to


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 16 - 10:38 PM

I am soooooooooo glad I got here to rescue Mom before The Worst happened.


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