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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 28 Sep 10 - 04:12 PM
Acme 28 Sep 10 - 12:24 PM
gnu 28 Sep 10 - 11:01 AM
Eiseley 28 Sep 10 - 10:45 AM
Little Hawk 28 Sep 10 - 10:40 AM
Amos 28 Sep 10 - 10:24 AM
Rapparee 28 Sep 10 - 10:13 AM
Amos 28 Sep 10 - 10:09 AM
Acme 27 Sep 10 - 11:58 PM
Rapparee 27 Sep 10 - 11:55 PM
Amos 27 Sep 10 - 11:48 PM
Acme 27 Sep 10 - 11:28 PM
Janie 27 Sep 10 - 11:26 PM
Amos 27 Sep 10 - 10:39 PM
Rapparee 27 Sep 10 - 10:07 PM
Amos 27 Sep 10 - 09:27 PM
Rapparee 27 Sep 10 - 09:25 PM
Janie 27 Sep 10 - 09:24 PM
Acme 27 Sep 10 - 09:11 PM
Amos 27 Sep 10 - 08:35 PM
Janie 27 Sep 10 - 07:32 PM
Amos 27 Sep 10 - 07:30 PM
Janie 27 Sep 10 - 06:32 PM
Little Hawk 27 Sep 10 - 04:26 PM
Amos 27 Sep 10 - 03:48 PM
Amos 27 Sep 10 - 03:04 PM
gnu 27 Sep 10 - 02:30 PM
Amos 27 Sep 10 - 12:47 PM
Amos 27 Sep 10 - 12:40 PM
Acme 27 Sep 10 - 12:17 PM
Little Hawk 27 Sep 10 - 11:40 AM
Eiseley 27 Sep 10 - 10:56 AM
Little Hawk 27 Sep 10 - 10:37 AM
Amos 27 Sep 10 - 10:32 AM
Little Hawk 27 Sep 10 - 10:24 AM
Amos 27 Sep 10 - 10:16 AM
Rapparee 27 Sep 10 - 10:11 AM
Little Hawk 27 Sep 10 - 07:31 AM
gnu 27 Sep 10 - 06:02 AM
Hamish 27 Sep 10 - 03:03 AM
Acme 27 Sep 10 - 12:30 AM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 27 Sep 10 - 12:21 AM
Eiseley 26 Sep 10 - 11:32 PM
Amos 26 Sep 10 - 11:06 PM
Rapparee 26 Sep 10 - 09:49 PM
Rapparee 26 Sep 10 - 09:30 PM
Amos 26 Sep 10 - 08:46 PM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 10 - 08:11 PM
Rapparee 26 Sep 10 - 07:21 PM
Amos 26 Sep 10 - 04:43 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 10 - 04:12 PM

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!! Brill!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Sep 10 - 12:24 PM

Since its on Venus it must be the Funnel of Love.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Sep 10 - 11:01 AM

Looks like an erie canal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 28 Sep 10 - 10:45 AM

You've ruined it for me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Sep 10 - 10:40 AM

Good lord!!! That must be about the biggest funnel cloud around. Not a place you'd want to go cruising around in, I wouldn't think.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 10 - 10:24 AM

One of which is "How did it get so big?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 10 - 10:13 AM

Here are four interesting photos of the "vortex at the South Pole of Venus." They look very much like black-and-white photos from my last colonoscopy. This raises many disturbing questions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 10 - 10:09 AM

"It came from under...the...beeeeddddd...." (cue:thunder, lightning, sound of window blinds rattling in breeze) (pan to open window, blinds rattling, darkness outside, eery wind sounds).
"Who was it? Where did it realy come from? More important....who made it?????

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 11:58 PM

That's your project, Amos! The Night of the Living Dust.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 11:55 PM

Someone left you something to remember them by.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 11:48 PM

As Christine Lavin said, "If it weren't for the dust bunnies, I wouldn't have any pets at all!"

I'd like to see that knit-up person, though. Filmed in slow-mo it would be a great horror flick thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 11:28 PM

I just rearranged the furniture in my bedroom. There was enough dust under a few pieces to knit it into a whole person (as a friend of mine used to say when encountering huge gobs of dust, "someone is coming or going.")


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 11:26 PM

Well, I suppose it is a comfort to know that no matter how long I have to be away, I can depend on walking into MOM's place and know it will be familiar.

Who says you can't go home again?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 10:39 PM

I think you should be downright ashamed for painting such awful pictures of that nice mister Gore.

Anyway, keep up your bragging, amigo. The hot air fills my sails.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 10:07 PM

Amos, you know darned good and well that Mom insisted that you use the things Janie has instead of those YOU originally wanted to use! She doesn't want you wounded and dying slowly, slowly, by millimeters. She asked me to make sure it's fast and clean -- "a nice, quick, beheading" she suggested. (She has a side bet on how high your blood will spurt when your head struck off -- please don't disappoint her.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 09:27 PM

My Gore, sir, will flatten your Bush before the Supreme Court of Mom. I shall flatten your pouw, and make a football of your rowdy-dow-dow.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 09:25 PM

She has care of the things Amos and I will be using at Getaway. Amos is aware of how his gore will stain the floors and soil, fertilizing the grass as a fitting memorial we can all pause at in years to come. Perhaps I shall plant petunias there...or blood red roses where he goes down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 09:24 PM

Alas, life gets in the way....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 09:11 PM

Janie, we haven't seen you round these parts for a goodly while! What's up?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 08:35 PM

For productive purposes, very. For attacking innocent solipsists unawares in a fit of contradiction, not so very...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 07:32 PM

How handy are you with a knife?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 07:30 PM

Now, you know I need no practice in repartee, sweet thang!! I was practice the whole "I call John Donne by his first name and even his NICKNAME, cuz as how we is so CLOSE" scam that Rapaire invented.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 06:32 PM

"You had best be practicing something other than innocent repartee to prepare for your coming encounter, Amos," said she who is naught but an innocent mule.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 04:26 PM

Wonderful stuff, Amos!

Stilly, it's a history-based computer game which allows you to run the financial, political, mercantile, and military affairs of any one of a huge number of nations in the 1700s. Action rangers all over the globe and involves a number of great empires such as those of Spain, Great Britain, France, Austria, Sweden, Russia, the Ottoman Empire, Venice, Savoy, Prussia, and even the fledgling USA in its early revolutionary phase. The game commences in the year 1700, comprises 6-month turns which involve a tremendous number of actions and decisions, and can be played through to the year 1800. Other revolutions may occur in other countries if the existing rulers don't handle things well, and monarchs may be overthrown and replaced by republican forms of government, as happened in the USA. The religious struggle between Catholic and Protestant and Islamic and Hindu nations is also a significant factor.

But the best part of all is the naval battles which are something to behold.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:48 PM

If a man look sharply and attentively, he shall see Fortune; for though she is blind, she is not invisible. So sayeth Jack Donne, my friend for many a lifetime.

(I am practicing for meeting Rapaire at his Bideawee Inn on Friday...).



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:04 PM

IT is something of a shame that young men no longer steer for glory. It lead to a lot of foolish misadventures, but it had a certain tang to it, which I miss.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 02:30 PM

Pirate Code of Conduct
Bartholomew Roberts Shipboard Articles 1721

ARTICLE I - Every man shall have an equal vote in affairs of moment. He shall have an equal title to the fresh provisions or strong liquors at any time seized, and shall use them at pleasure unless a scarcity may make it necessary for the common good that a retrenchment may be voted.

ARTICLE II - Every man shall be called fairly in turn by the list on board of prizes, because over and above their proper share, they are allowed a shift of clothes. But if they defraud the company to the value of even one dollar in plate, jewels or money, they shall be marooned. If any man rob another he shall have his nose and ears slit, and be put ashore where he shall be sure to encounter hardships.

ARTICLE III - None shall game for money either with dice or cards.

ARTICLE IV - The lights and candles should be put out at eight at night, and if any of the crew desire to drink after that hour they shall sit upon the open deck without lights.

ARTICLE V - Each man shall keep his piece, cutlass and pistols at all times clean and ready for action.

ARTICLE VI - No boy or woman to be allowed amongst them. If any man shall be found seducing any of the latter sex and carrying her to sea in disguise he shall suffer death.

ARTICLE VII - He that shall desert the ship or his quarters in time of battle shall be punished by death or marooning.

ARTICLE VIII - None shall strike another on board the ship, but every man's quarrel shall be ended on shore by sword or pistol in this manner. At the word of command from the quartermaster, each man being previously placed back to back, shall turn and fire immediately. If any man do not, the quartermaster shall knock the piece out of his hand. If both miss their aim they shall take to their cutlasses, and he that draweth first blood shall be declared the victor.

ARTICLE IX - No man shall talk of breaking up their way of living till each has a share of l,000. Every man who shall become a cripple or lose a limb in the service shall have 800 pieces of eight from the common stock and for lesser hurts proportionately.

ARTICLE X - The captain and the quartermaster shall each receive two shares of a prize, the master gunner and boatswain, one and one half shares, all other officers one and one quarter, and private gentlemen of fortune one share each.

ARTICLE XI - The musicians shall have rest on the Sabbath Day only by right. On all other days by favour only.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 12:47 PM

( I did not write that, nor know who did. It is called The Pirate's Song by some. I learned it from an old sailor long ago on a deck at anchor off Kerkyra.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 12:40 PM

To the mast nail our flag it is dark as the grave,
Or the death which it bears while it sweeps o'er the wave;
Let our deck clear for action, our guns be prepared;
Be the boarding-axe sharpened, the scimetar bared:
Set the canisters ready, and then bring to me,
For the last of my duties, the powder-room key.

It shall never be lowered, the black flag we bear;
If the sea be denied us, we sweep through the air.
Unshared have we left our last victory's prey;
It is mine to divide it, and yours to obey:
There are shawls that might suit a sultana's white neck,
And pearls that are fair as the arms they will deck.

There are flasks which, unseal them, the air will disclose
Diametta's fair summers, the home of the rose.
I claim not a portion: I ask but as mine
'Tis to drink to our victory - one cup of red wine.
Some fight, 'tis for riches - some fight, 'tis for fame:
The first I despise, and the last is a name.

I fight, 'tis for vengeance! I love to see flow,
At the stroke of my sabre, the life of my foe.
I strike for the memory of long-vanished years;
I only shed blood where another shed tears,
I come, as the lightning comes red from above,
O'er the race that I loathe, to the battle I love.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 12:17 PM

Is this a computer game, a device game (Wii, Playstation, XBox, etc.) or an online game?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 11:40 AM

I tried the British too, and it's quite challenging...but the reason I enjoyed the French, Spanish, and Dutch more was mainly that I didn't know nearly as much about them as I do about the British, so it was new and interesting challenges to take on that appealed to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 10:56 AM

French, Spanish, Dutch!? What would Admiral Nelson say? Long may the Royal Navy sail!

Heart of Oak

Come, cheer up, my lads, 'tis to glory we steer,
To add something more to this wonderful year;
To honour we call you, as freemen not slaves,
For who are so free as the sons of the waves?

Heart of oak are our ships, jolly tars are our men,
we always are ready; Steady, boys, steady!
We'll fight and we'll conquer again and again.


We never see the French but we wish them to stay,
They always see us and they wish us away;
If they run, we will follow, we will drive them ashore,
And if they won't fight, we can do no more.

Heart of oak are our ships, jolly tars are our men,
we always are ready; Steady, boys, steady!
We'll fight and we'll conquer again and again.


They swear they'll invade us, these terrible foes,
They frighten our women, our children and beaus,
But should their flat bottoms in darkness get o'er,
Still Britons they'll find to receive them on shore.

Heart of oak are our ships, jolly tars are our men,
we always are ready; Steady, boys, steady!
We'll fight and we'll conquer again and again.

Britannia triumphant, her ships sweep the sea,
Her standard is Justice?her watchword, 'be free.'
Then cheer up, my lads, with one heart let us sing,
Our soldiers, our sailors, our statesmen, and king.

Heart of oak are our ships, jolly tars are our men,
we always are ready; Steady, boys, steady!
We'll fight and we'll conquer again and again.
Heart of oak are our ships, jolly tars are our men,
we always are ready; Steady, boys, steady!
We'll fight and we'll conquer again and again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 10:37 AM

I was thinking about pulling the one-armed bandits at the casino. What were you thinking of? ;-)

What I did get ahold of was Total War Empire....(the 1700's). It's a truly amazing game, specially the naval battles with the wooden ships. It's simply incredible what they have done in this simulation. The Maratha Empire in India is surprisingly capable...very dangerous fellows in that century. My favorites to play so far have been the French, the Spanish, and the Dutch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 10:32 AM

I was thinking you had gotten ahold of Civ V, and not a minute too soon.

What were you thinking, with your guilty conscience, you???


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 10:24 AM

I have a rather sore right shoulder. I think it's from using the danged mouse too much yesterday in a computer game I was playing. And NO, it's NOT what you're thinking...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 10:16 AM

Rapaire means "Res ipsa loquitur", the thing speaks for itself. As usual, he always creates his clever sayings slightly off from what they normally are, so as to be preserve his brand identification.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 10:11 AM

Look, I know that I created all things because whenever I walk into a room or something people look at me and declare, "Oh my God!" and "Dio mio!" and "Oh Lord...."

Res ipsos loquitor, as they say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 07:31 AM

Yes, but Hamish is just another creation of Rapaire's, remember, so it IS possible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 06:02 AM

How could you? This thread is all in Rap's head.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Hamish
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:03 AM

I never read this thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 12:30 AM

Astonishing who reads this thread.

I've lightened the southwest corner of the house by a few pounds by sweeping and mopping the floor in my son's room. Tons of dust and grit. I don't think this will make the planet tip any further, but in case it does, that's why.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 12:21 AM

Papaire, when you posted: "When you are the creator of all you can be as irresponsible as you wish."....at first,(and I misread it), I thought you posted: "When you are the creator of all you can be as irresistible as you wish."

Just sort of a chuckle to myself!!

Wink,
GfS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 11:32 PM

Thanks, Rapaire.

Hmmmm, I wonder how far across town I could fling a Volkswagen-sized boulder? I wonder how far I could fling a golf ball? With the proper trigonometry I'll bet I could lob one of those things into thy backyard while you're away---if Tom gets the trebuchet built in time.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 11:06 PM

Strikes me as kinda lame to blame Eiseley. You don't suppose a little "reality" is creeping in and unbalancing your perfect solution to the hectic, dangerous, world, do you?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 09:49 PM

Solipsism means you never have to say you're sorry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 09:30 PM

When you are the creator of all you can be as irresponsible as you wish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 08:46 PM

You're awfully irresponsible for an obsessive solipsist, Rapaire...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 08:11 PM

A marvelous tale indeed. If it did not happen, it should have happened.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 07:21 PM

Eiseley made me do it. Blame her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 04:43 PM

Condolences to LH and kudos to Rapaire for his magnificent tale, definitely BS of the very first water, the top drawer, and the bluest ribbon.


A


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