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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 17 Dec 09 - 07:14 PM
Amos 17 Dec 09 - 07:02 PM
MMario 17 Dec 09 - 03:51 PM
Amos 17 Dec 09 - 03:44 PM
Rapparee 17 Dec 09 - 03:26 PM
Rapparee 17 Dec 09 - 03:25 PM
Rapparee 17 Dec 09 - 03:25 PM
Rapparee 17 Dec 09 - 03:24 PM
Amos 17 Dec 09 - 02:14 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Dec 09 - 01:45 PM
Acme 17 Dec 09 - 12:23 PM
MMario 17 Dec 09 - 12:10 PM
Acme 17 Dec 09 - 11:56 AM
Amos 17 Dec 09 - 11:19 AM
MMario 17 Dec 09 - 09:20 AM
Amos 17 Dec 09 - 09:06 AM
Amos 16 Dec 09 - 10:39 PM
Rapparee 16 Dec 09 - 10:00 PM
Acme 16 Dec 09 - 09:39 PM
Rapparee 16 Dec 09 - 09:30 PM
Amos 16 Dec 09 - 05:10 PM
Little Hawk 16 Dec 09 - 04:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Dec 09 - 02:58 PM
Rapparee 16 Dec 09 - 01:43 PM
MMario 16 Dec 09 - 01:34 PM
Amos 16 Dec 09 - 12:22 PM
Amos 16 Dec 09 - 11:02 AM
Acme 16 Dec 09 - 10:46 AM
Rapparee 16 Dec 09 - 10:44 AM
Little Hawk 16 Dec 09 - 09:10 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Dec 09 - 09:10 AM
Rapparee 16 Dec 09 - 09:04 AM
Little Hawk 16 Dec 09 - 08:53 AM
Rapparee 16 Dec 09 - 08:41 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Dec 09 - 03:32 AM
Amos 15 Dec 09 - 09:59 PM
Janie 15 Dec 09 - 09:54 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 09 - 09:51 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 09 - 09:50 PM
Little Hawk 15 Dec 09 - 09:42 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 09 - 09:36 PM
Little Hawk 15 Dec 09 - 09:08 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Dec 09 - 08:09 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 09 - 07:26 PM
Amos 15 Dec 09 - 05:03 PM
Acme 15 Dec 09 - 04:41 PM
Amos 15 Dec 09 - 03:19 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 09 - 03:06 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Dec 09 - 02:47 PM
Amos 15 Dec 09 - 01:29 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Dec 09 - 07:14 PM

You obviously have a mental block. Or don't have a good recipe. Or both.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Dec 09 - 07:02 PM

I relish the thought of you toiling over crust, Manne of Emms.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 17 Dec 09 - 03:51 PM

I am the anti-crust.
I make quiche without crusts.
I make frozen pies without crust.
I make cheesecakes without crust (usually).

I don't make crusts. My crusts are inedible.

If I have to make a crust it will probably be a crumb crust, which are slightly less inedible then my (theoretical) pie crusts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Dec 09 - 03:44 PM

You are such a dodger, Rapaire!! Why don't you do what you should?

Anyway, with a head so full of facts and figures it is no wonder you have a soft spot for spinners...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 09 - 03:26 PM

But I won't. 33233!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 09 - 03:25 PM

I should apologize to everyone and do penance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 09 - 03:25 PM

Oh hell. That was terrible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 09 - 03:24 PM

MMario is, then, the Anti-Crust?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Dec 09 - 02:14 PM

Well....PIE!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Dec 09 - 01:45 PM

Well, the only kind of pie crust that crosses my threshold is one with a pie already baked inside it. I'm very much a do-it-yourselfer, but some things are best left to professionals. Heart surgery, nuclear powerplant maintenance, and pies are good examples.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Dec 09 - 12:23 PM

I make very good pie crust. A co-worker was having difficulty with a crust recipe she had been using, and remembered I'd brought or said something about pies at work, so asked me about her recipe. It sounded un-bakable. I sent her my recipe, and now I think I hear from her every time she makes a pie--thanks for that recipe! Obviously she has to make it and it comes out good because she does it correctly, so I just gave her the tool. But if you want a good recipe, look inside the cover in most of that Better Homes and Garden's (red and white plaid) cookbooks. Don't over work it, and don't put in a drop more water than you need to make it just hold together.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 17 Dec 09 - 12:10 PM

Stilly - frozwen pie crust is much better then pie crust I make....I am a failure in the pie crust department.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Dec 09 - 11:56 AM

Store bought pie crust will not cross my threshold or be used in pies in my house. We make it fresh, ourselves. And yes, they have cut out their own shapes.

Here's a link to a story I told the others in our current declutter thread. MOM's sitting out blubbering quietly on the back porch, she liked it so well. (after the horizontal rule)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Dec 09 - 11:19 AM

Satori is a Japanese word used in Zen Buddhism for the phenomenon of Sudden Awakening, that Place where the distinction between Experiencer and experience, Knower and known, is erased, and the separative sense of personal self ("I am me, and you aren't") is extinguished. ...

www.zoofence.com/define07.html

Like, wow, man. Yon Rapaire has a recipe for shrimp satori!!

Do they go, like, "The school is One...the sea is One...we are shrimp, but we are the Ocean...". Like, wow, man...And then you eat them, see?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 17 Dec 09 - 09:20 AM

Stilly said: (in part)
"...were told they could only eat the pie shapes if they ate them with the stew ...I have to keep making the pie crust in cookie cutter shapes to make them happy. They're 17 and 21. "

At those ages, let them make pie crusts themselves!!!!! If necessary - have them cheat - give them each a frozen pillsbury crust and a cookie cutter for christmas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Dec 09 - 09:06 AM

Three three two two two
Is the post I post to you.
Post with joy and with aplomb
Wit and insight for our Mom.
Joy, aplomb, insight and wit.
I get tired of this shit.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 09 - 10:39 PM

(Groan)IF it would help me forget puns like that...I'd let myself get reVersed!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 09 - 10:00 PM

You were well Versed, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Dec 09 - 09:39 PM

That full-body anesthesia is not fun, but I figured out that part of the reason it was like the worst hangover you can imagine is that they used Versed first. That is nasty stuff but is used routinely unless you tell them not to. It added a day to my hospital stay the last time they used it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 09 - 09:30 PM

I dunno, man. Every few years lately I've been like, you know, gettin' gorta like a full dose of anesthesia, and then they, like, the last time gave me two shots of morphine when I came out of the operating room and hydrocodone and T4 and like I think I'll like, you know, go get whittled on a coupla times a year 'cause it's like, cool, ya know? Maybe I'll go become a doctor just for like the dope, ya know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 09 - 05:10 PM

MM:

My condolences on your appendectomy; I hope you had a good stretch to recover in. Those full body anaesthetic slams can really bend your head around.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Dec 09 - 04:59 PM

I had a Dachshund who wasn't the least bit scared of squirrels. He spent most of his life trying to kill them. I'm not sure if he ever got one, but he never quit trying, and in time he began using "stealth" methods instead of the standard old "CHA-A-A-A-RGE!!!!!!!" routine. He would lurk silently at the bottom of a large tree for hours, not moving a muscle, just hide in the foliage and wait for a squirrel to descend...then ZAP!!! I saw him come within a micron of getting a squirrel one day, but the squirrel just barely evaded his lightning fast lunge and snap. It was tremendously upset, of course, and rushed up a different tree where it cursed him loudly for the next 15 minutes or so... ;-)

Squirrels do not expect Stealth Dachshunds.

A whole series of chimpmunks met a sudden and grisly end in the jaws of this same Dachshund. He would lurk silently around a corner of the house...waiting...and some poor chipmunk would eventually come bopping merrily around the corner and...CHOMP!!!!! Finito.    Squirrels weren't that easy, as they don't tend to do the around the corner of the house manueuver. They think more in terms of the vertical axis than chimpmunks do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Dec 09 - 02:58 PM

Thanks Mom! It's not raining anymore! But you already knew that 'cause you're the one who did it, huh?

♫♫
Call on Mom when it's bad weather
Call on Mom, she'll make it better
She can do it if you'll let her
And if you're good, she just might knit you a sweater
♫♫


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 09 - 01:43 PM

MMario, I'm glad you're on the way to full recovery. The physical therapy for that sort of operation is pretty extensive and everyone I know who has had it ended up looking like Henry VIII at the end of his reign.

As for dead squirrels, dachshunds are as afraid of them as they are of live ones. "BARKBARKBARK! I"m defending MY turf oops he's turned around and I'd better hightail it oughta here BARKBARKBARK!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Dec 09 - 01:34 PM

yes, Stilly, I got to ride in a damnbulance. They claimed I was "medically unstable" and wouldn't let my brother in law drive me - even tohough it would have got me to the hospital faster and MUCH cheaper....and even though they had had me sitting around for about six hours at that point.

Had lower abdominal pains over the weekend of 12/28-29, so the 30th went in to have it checked out though by that time had next to no pain left - but our medical cat refused to leave me alone....so I figured I had better get checked out because he wasn't leaving me alone even AFTER I fed him. But local hospital no longer has surgeons on call, so they shipped me to the next town over, and eventually told me that I was going to have surgery. I still wonder if they would have bothered if I hadn't specifically asked - since they didn't until I asked.(As they were about to administrer the anesthesia....I wasn't ging under without an estimate of when I would wake up - as at that point I hadn't had anything to tell family....

six days in the hospital and another 8 at home... back to work now...and it's a long long long day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 09 - 12:22 PM

Is Rapaire desperate? HE seems to think dead squirrels are a good food source...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 09 - 11:02 AM

Sounds kinda sexy, in a doggy sorta way...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Dec 09 - 10:46 AM

I'll see your dachshund and raise you an American Staffordshire Terrier. She smiles. Like this. I caught half a smile when we were getting ready to play fetch with tomatoes that were in the compost. She smiles full-wattage now. Teeth barred, snorting, and body and tail wagging as hard as they can. It's a wonderful (gruesome, if you don't know what you're looking at) sight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 09 - 10:44 AM

Easily distracted with a dead squirrel or any other sort of food! I know dachshunds, so I spit on your great-aunt! Ptooey!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Dec 09 - 09:10 AM

Resorting to threats, are you? The tactics of the weak! Ha! I laugh at your tiny sword. I have a Dachshund.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Dec 09 - 09:10 AM

I use cracker crumbs fer cookin' lard. But bear in mind that I usually cook my lard in cakes, not sticks. Lard cakes is fer makin' a meal of, lard sticks is finger food fer parties an' weddin' receptions. They kin do with a bit less breadin'.

Mmm, mmm, mmm! I'm jus' imaginin' a big ol' plate of lard sticks, Viennee sausages, an' Slim Jims, all washed down with a Black Label beer! Oh boy! That's good eatin'!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 09 - 09:04 AM

I've got a straight, small sword. Swift and to the point. But you wouldn't like it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Dec 09 - 08:53 AM

My last post here vanished. That keeps happening. I think it's a plot. Someone will pay.

This is my new approach. Short little sentences. Straight to the point. How do you like it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 09 - 08:41 AM

Yeah! Deep fried lard sticks! Haven't had none of them in a coon's age! You use yeller er white corn meal, er jis slosh 'em in without no breadin'?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Dec 09 - 03:32 AM

All this talk of turkey pot pies is making me hungry. Ya'll know what we haven't had around here in a while? A big batch of deep-fried lard cakes! Oh, yummy! I can just taste 'em now!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 09 - 09:59 PM

He couldn't find his butte with both hands with glasses on and an anatomy text in front of him.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 15 Dec 09 - 09:54 PM

Rapaire, I didn't know you were from the South.

Oh wait - Sorry - you said butte


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 09 - 09:51 PM

Dibs on 33233!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 09 - 09:50 PM

Too bad I can't send you the picture my wife took out the back door the morning. Big Southern Butte lit by the rising sun. Ah well....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Dec 09 - 09:42 PM

I'll trade ALL of my molehills for just ONE of your mountains!

What a deal, eh? There are hundreds of molehills here. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 09 - 09:36 PM

I'll trade you my snow and throw in a bunch of cold for your rain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Dec 09 - 09:08 PM

I'll trade you my snow for your rain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Dec 09 - 08:09 PM

Hey, Mom! Can you make it stop raining? It's been going on for four days now. In fact, I think we've had ten rainy days so far this month, and it's only the 15th. If I wanted to live where it rains all the time I'd move to Washington or Oregon. At least they have nice scenery to go with the rain. Here, it's just wet dreary on top of the usual winter dreary. And it's not even officially winter yet.

If this is some sort of free trial offer to see if we'd like to try out Seattle's weather, we've decided we're not interested. How do we send it back?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 09 - 07:26 PM

I would never waste pot on pies, amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 09 - 05:03 PM

Tell ya what--yon Rapaire has overmuch of crust, and p'raps he would spare some for your pot-pies. He doesn't need it for his shrimp satori, you betcha...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Dec 09 - 04:41 PM

Janie, I make chicken pot pie, but years ago I added a Martha Stewart kind of runaround the kids, who were reluctant to eat it, for some reason. I rolled out the crust and cut out shapes with favorite cookie cutters. They sat down at the table, were delighted with the pie crust, and were told they could only eat the pie shapes if they ate them with the stew (cooked in a pot and never actually put into a crust and baked). Of course, now, like Spaw's NYCTS, I'm terminally screwed. I have to keep making the pie crust in cookie cutter shapes to make them happy. They're 17 and 21.

Hamish, it's lovely to have a new face pop round to check on us! I hope MOM offered you a cuppa and a comfortable seat. And there is a tape roller out there to take the cat hair off your clothes when you're ready to go.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 09 - 03:19 PM

All your satori are shrimp satori, sirrah.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 09 - 03:06 PM

I like shrimp satori with those rice noodle things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Dec 09 - 02:47 PM

BS is sort of like ego. They both get a lot of bad press, but to truly achieve a transcendent state neither can be ignored. To quote Sylvester (Sly) Stone, "You gotta go through it to get to it!"

One cannot achieve transcendence by never developing an ego. One must first become egoic and then do the necessary work to get beyond ego to a non-egoic state.

Similarly, one cannot achieve transcendence by ignoring BS. One must create and post BS until one reaches the state where BS becomes like a Zen koan, but funnier. When BS is BS and not BS at the same time, you will have achieved MOABic satori.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 09 - 01:29 PM

How sad, good Manne of Booques, that you seek always to reduce true meaning into its categorical pigeonhole.

I was not referring, in my ditty, to Gnosticism, but rather to gnosis itself: the intuitive knowledge of spiritual truths that was said to have been possessed by ancient Gnostics. IT is this inherent gnosis in individual humans that stands between mankind and complete apathetic surrender to materialism and "mud all the way down".

Stirring, prodding, irritating, bothering, awakening, enlivening or stimulating the gnosis is the True Purpose of Pure BS.


A


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