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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 12 Mar 08 - 03:33 PM
Rapparee 12 Mar 08 - 03:23 PM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 03:15 PM
Little Hawk 12 Mar 08 - 03:00 PM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 02:41 PM
Acme 12 Mar 08 - 02:38 PM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 02:22 PM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 02:18 PM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 02:07 PM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 01:52 PM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 01:46 PM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 12:06 PM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 12:04 PM
Rapparee 12 Mar 08 - 12:02 PM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 11:58 AM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 11:48 AM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 11:48 AM
Rapparee 12 Mar 08 - 11:47 AM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 11:46 AM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 11:32 AM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 11:31 AM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 10:52 AM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 10:51 AM
Acme 12 Mar 08 - 10:47 AM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 10:43 AM
Acme 12 Mar 08 - 10:34 AM
Rapparee 12 Mar 08 - 09:10 AM
Acme 12 Mar 08 - 12:42 AM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 12:08 AM
Little Hawk 11 Mar 08 - 11:46 PM
Amos 11 Mar 08 - 10:12 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 08 - 09:08 PM
Amos 11 Mar 08 - 08:19 PM
Acme 11 Mar 08 - 05:36 PM
Amos 11 Mar 08 - 05:34 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 08 - 04:40 PM
Little Hawk 11 Mar 08 - 04:14 PM
Amos 11 Mar 08 - 03:51 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 08 - 12:51 PM
Little Hawk 11 Mar 08 - 12:45 PM
Amos 11 Mar 08 - 09:32 AM
Rapparee 11 Mar 08 - 09:01 AM
Amos 11 Mar 08 - 07:59 AM
Acme 11 Mar 08 - 01:24 AM
Janie 10 Mar 08 - 11:50 PM
Little Hawk 10 Mar 08 - 11:09 PM
Amos 10 Mar 08 - 10:46 PM
Acme 10 Mar 08 - 08:35 PM
Rapparee 10 Mar 08 - 08:31 PM
Rapparee 10 Mar 08 - 03:20 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 03:33 PM

I know Rapaire thinks there was no anaesthesia, but it strikes me the Vicodin was running thick in his veins, this morning.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 03:23 PM

I have returned. I have now had it certified that I have the purtiest left kneebones in Idaho.

There was a slight problem in that I am so red-blooded All-American that all my blood was drawn over to my left leg. They got that fixed right quick though, but another problem arose (if you'll pardon the expression). The magnetic head used for the MRI imaging was of necessity positioned in such a way that the blood was then drawn to my, well, another part of my anatomy. Women would stop by, see it, and swoon with anticipated pleasure and men would faint away with jealousy. It's a good thing Pat came to meet me for lunch or I would have been held captive by a horde of women, all demanding a share of.... Well, anyway, Pat met me for lunch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 03:15 PM

don't blow a gasket head-case! What a crank! Why don't you muffle it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 03:00 PM

You need to work on a better transmission of your ideas. I want to clutch you by the throat when I hear some of the foolish things you say. When are you going to put on the brakes and come to a full stop?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 02:41 PM

Do you tyre of this discourse? NO fan of the conversation?
Need to valve off a little hot exhaust from your sytem?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 02:38 PM

That was below the [steel] belt. So to speak.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 02:22 PM

Or fewer of them?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 02:18 PM

maybe you need new shocks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 02:07 PM

Thanks for cutting to the, um, chase, there, buddy. The suspension was killing me.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 01:52 PM

That's right...

it continues with....

knock knock
who's there?
Stella
Stella Who?
Stella 'nother Ether Bunny

knock knock
Who's there?
Yenta
Yenta who?
Yenta 'nother Ether bunny

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Karl
Karl who?

Car'll run over ALL the Ether Bunnies!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo who?

Don' cry! There'll be more Ether Bunnies NEXT year!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 01:46 PM

Anna nutherbunny?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 12:06 PM

Anna

(don't shout; Mom's taking a nap)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 12:04 PM

I wasn't referring to Mona's.

WHO THERE!!!!! Gawdammit, I hate this shit.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 12:02 PM

It's not mine, it's Mona's. And it doesn't look all soft and spotted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 11:58 AM

Whoothair?


And Rapaire, you may keep your spotted old soft banana.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 11:48 AM

Ether Bunnie!


Knock, Knock!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 11:48 AM

Why is Mona holding your Banana?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 11:47 AM

Lordy, Mom! I'm only gonna go get an MRI; they're actin' like I'm already daid and burried. I guess Amos really IS in a hurry to inherit my collection of great art reproductions. I'll bet he's just jealous of my Mona Lisa On Black Velvet, that's what. Especially since she's holding a banana. He doesn't have one and he wants mine.

Besides, it ain't for another 45 minutes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 11:46 AM

Ether WHoooo?


A

(I hope he isn't about to be Soren on me...)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 11:32 AM

Ether


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 11:31 AM

Hooth Thair?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:52 AM

knock, Knock!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:51 AM

He'th vithiting the Ether Bunny today. Ether that or a sturgeon.

We hold our brother Rapaire in our thoughts today, and send him the wish that he will rapidly be fully restored unto us with his clever fingers in good order and his lower joints operating smoothly.

All of them.

Toes, too.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:47 AM

It's his knee thing today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:43 AM

It's a bit early to be etherized, it isn't even Palm Sunday yet!

But if Rap's in a sugar coma, I'm willing to bet most of the Legion is passed out from one or another substance


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:34 AM

Can we expect a quiet day, as our pal Rapaire lies etherised upon a table? Will the troops at the Legion remain quiet in their muttering retreats?

Come back soon and disturb the universe!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 09:10 AM

Someone has to mislead the young...and Amos. I thought it rather good, especially the part about the flower.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 12:42 AM

It would serve you right if Diana picked up that oak branch and gave Chongo and LH a swat with it.

Take it easy tomorrow, Mike!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 12:08 AM

He only does that when he wants to start a Golden Shower, LH...according to his confessions memoirs.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 11:46 PM

Do like Chongo does instead. Swing from the Golden Bough!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 10:12 PM

Wow...that is very impressive. Would I could have such a tale for every typo my fat thumbs produce, I'd have The Golden Bough collected.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 09:08 PM

A "buance" is a ghost that inhabits the uplands of certain islands near Sumatra. It is said to be the spirit of a young girl or woman who died before she had ever eaten cassava and so spends eternity searching for cassava seeds. According to the locals, if you are confronted by a buance you simply have to point in some direction and the buance will go off that way on its eternal cassava search. The buance is not vindictive or nasty, just sort of lost. You can protect yourself against a buance by wearing a "titan arum" flower on your clothing or in your hair.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 08:19 PM

I think I must have mis-typed -- the b should have been an "n", spelling "nuances". In context this makes much more sense. After all, I am pretty sure there is no such word as "buances", or its putative singular, "buance". At least, as far as I know...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 05:36 PM

Amos said I would never get the buances.

You would if the whoopie cushions are under the mattresses. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 05:34 PM

Makes them kind of awkward to reinflate, doesn't it?

SUch a thoughtful host...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 04:40 PM

Actually, I put them under the mattresses in the guest bedrooms....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 04:14 PM

Shane would enjoy the whoopee cushions, Rapaire. So would Don.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 03:51 PM

No, leave them to the Church. I would never get the buances.

I think you guys have me badly confused with Sinsull. This kind of crap is her metier.

Anyway, this clearly demonstrates why Rapaire can be readily and easily filled-in-for when he goes under.

My regards to 'Streyelia, Rap.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 12:51 PM

I am also leaving him my complete collection of singing fake fish. They're all motion activated so he should get months and months of enjoyment from Big Mouth Billy Bass and all of his kinfolks.

Do you think his sophisticated enough for my collection of whoopee cushions? Or should I leave those to the Church?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 12:45 PM

You're on the right track, Rapaire. I too have some rare and valuable stuff I am going to leave Amos. Namely, the lamp that looks like a lady's leg in fishnet stockings and the Singing, Dancing Santa Claus that sings "Jingle Bell Rock" and is automatically triggered to start doing so whenever anyone walks within 6 feet of it. Those are items I would not dream of leaving to anyone else but Amos. I know that he fully appreciates such things and will give them a place of pride in his mansion. Then too, there are 8500 back issues of Popular Mechanics here that need a good home....and a complete collection of (one each of) all the reptilian beanie babies ever issued.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 09:32 AM

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, Dr Stick E. Fingerz!!

I was thinking more of the literary collection, but hell, no reason to not include the matched Keanes and the Black Velvet series.

However, it is very, very rare to succumb during knee surgery. You would not want to go into a joint with that kind of reputation.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 09:01 AM

Amos, you...you...know about...my art collection? About the sad-eyed clowns and the kids with big eyes and my collection of Elvises painted on black velvet which would be internationally famous if I could show it which I can't? About my complete collection of Harlequin Romances and Jacquelyn Susanne and Danielle Steel novels?

Well, if I croak on the surgery table I leave them all to you, Amos. Because I know that of all the MOABites, you and you alone would fully appreciate them. Only you have the wit and intelligence to fully understand their subtleties, the nuances which make them the art they are.

You should be proud.

Of course, the are stolen property....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 07:59 AM

Well, especially his collection of rare stolen works. That's priceless, one of a kind.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 01:24 AM

MOM says don't even say that in joking!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 11:50 PM

They gonna do the MRI and take you straight to surgery, if indicated???!!!!

If so, don't you think you should leave a few bequests for your MOAB brethern?



Just in case, you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 11:09 PM

"who else can you depend upon?"

Well......I'm thinkin'...

Shane?

Chongo?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 10:46 PM

Fill in for Rapaire? Hell, I could do it with one hand tied behind my keyboard. I'll just start a second identity, just for Mom, and I'll argue myself blue in the facer. No problem, man, Mom will be just fine when you get back. Piece o' cake.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 08:35 PM

I have a friend who is stuck at home, suffering from what we think sounds like shingles. Maybe I can draft him to come help out for a few days. As long has he uses a spell check he'll be okay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 08:31 PM

Mom, I'm seriously worried. I'm having this MRI on Wednesday and I may very well need knee surgery. If that's the case, I'm going to be down for a couple of days and I don't know WHO is going to look after you. I mean, who else can you depend upon?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 03:20 PM

Lead is easily made round. So is C-4.


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