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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 25 Oct 07 - 09:33 PM
Rapparee 25 Oct 07 - 08:54 PM
Little Hawk 25 Oct 07 - 07:13 PM
Amos 25 Oct 07 - 07:09 PM
Rapparee 25 Oct 07 - 02:07 PM
Rapparee 25 Oct 07 - 02:06 PM
beardedbruce 25 Oct 07 - 01:58 PM
Little Hawk 25 Oct 07 - 01:55 PM
Amos 25 Oct 07 - 01:50 PM
Little Hawk 25 Oct 07 - 01:31 PM
Amos 25 Oct 07 - 01:28 PM
Rapparee 25 Oct 07 - 01:26 PM
MMario 25 Oct 07 - 01:24 PM
Acme 25 Oct 07 - 01:20 PM
Rapparee 25 Oct 07 - 01:14 PM
beardedbruce 25 Oct 07 - 01:07 PM
Little Hawk 25 Oct 07 - 12:29 PM
Rapparee 25 Oct 07 - 11:50 AM
Amos 25 Oct 07 - 09:34 AM
Rapparee 25 Oct 07 - 09:08 AM
Amos 25 Oct 07 - 07:44 AM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 11:13 PM
Acme 24 Oct 07 - 11:06 PM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 10:48 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 10:36 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 10:36 PM
Amos 24 Oct 07 - 10:25 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 10:24 PM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 08:29 PM
Rustic Rebel 24 Oct 07 - 07:59 PM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 07:03 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 06:53 PM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 06:44 PM
Amos 24 Oct 07 - 06:42 PM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 06:34 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 06:12 PM
Amos 24 Oct 07 - 05:25 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 04:28 PM
Amos 24 Oct 07 - 04:04 PM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 03:11 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 01:48 PM
Amos 24 Oct 07 - 12:11 PM
MMario 24 Oct 07 - 12:06 PM
Amos 24 Oct 07 - 10:42 AM
Acme 24 Oct 07 - 10:41 AM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 09:00 AM
MMario 24 Oct 07 - 08:55 AM
Amos 23 Oct 07 - 10:47 PM
Rapparee 23 Oct 07 - 10:41 PM
Amos 23 Oct 07 - 05:41 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 09:33 PM

Thank gawd we live in an age where that rare gift can be given you back, good sir.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 08:54 PM

As is pointed out quite well in The Book of Five Rings.

Amos: from explosions and gunfire and helicopters and unmuffled generators and air-compressor-driven power tools and motor pools and too-loud noises in general. And I wear and have worn for years hearing protection when I cut the grass, blow snow, fire guns, use a chainsaw or any other power tool...but by then the damage was done. So I have a constant tinnitus and bilateral hearing loss in the upper registers (above about 4 Khz) and I will be fitted for hearing aids on November 6 at, I believe, 1 p.m. and I will gladly pay to the VA whatever the co-pay is. The full enjoyment of music has been too long absent.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 07:13 PM

Yes, BB, one set. The long sword and the short sword. Long swords are more popular, but a short sword can be handier in constricted circumstances, and it is also possible to fight using both swords at the same time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 07:09 PM

Hearing aids, huh? Too much time in the brass section? The firing range?
Surely not the dusty, whispering stacks that have brought you to this pass?
It is surely loud sounds and wrong sounds
That take the hearing from the mind
And turn it low; or else
You have placed yourself where things
Were being said you never meant to hear.
Surrounded by those who insist
On using their gifts for the art
To turn out bland noises of no merit.
Eyes are for eyes, when sundown's near;
But who would not give his heart
For just one ear?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 02:07 PM

And as for music -- I have an electronic tuner now, and get hearing aids on November 6. Ha ha ha. Fooled you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 02:06 PM

Actually, I work to keep my wife in fabric and quilting stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:58 PM

Only one set?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:55 PM

I used to have a lot of fun with guns and swords. Matter of fact, I have a set of samurai swords here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:50 PM

You'd probably have more fun with guns and swords, Little Hawk. Ask Rapaire to teach you. He'd be happy to.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:31 PM

I work so I can build a greater shrine to Shatner and one day secure a date with Winona Ryder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:28 PM

That's pure BS, Rapaire. You work so you can buy guns. I work so I can sing songs with friends. And thereby hangs a tale.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:26 PM

No, some of us have to work so that others can play....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:24 PM

Rapaire - you've obviously never been to Getaway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:20 PM

J. K. Rowling.

What a subtext!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:14 PM

It's foul, disgusting, perverted, degenerate, revolting, repugnant, loathsome, vile, scandalous, appalling, repellent, shocking, and abhorrent to everyone except those scum who revel in such things. You will never hear it sung anywhere outside of the Legion Hovel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:07 PM

"Nah, I can't finish this on a family thread. "


PLEASE! We wait with bated ( and baited- I had sushi) breath.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 12:29 PM

H.G. Wells.   W.H. Auden. The list goes on and on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 11:50 AM

Lemme tell ya of a story 'bout a man named Zed,
Mellow Californian barely kept his family bed
Then one day he was out a-buyin' food
When out of the produce came a good-lookin' nude.

Girl, that is. A woman.

Next thing ya know ol' Zed's....

Nah, I can't finish this on a family thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 09:34 AM

Well, it's not that they were all named Roger. I said some folks. But it's a complicated world and the hunger for clarity can make a man want to erase his whole name and just call himself Zed.

There are other reasons, not least of which are Horatio, Dionysius, Dithyrambo, and Heracles, all names which end up getting one laughed off the playground.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 09:08 AM

H. P. Lovecraft and D. H. Lawrence were really named Roger? I had an uncle named Roger. Could they possibly be my Uncle Roger? H. P. and D. H. share a lot with my uncle besides the name "Roger" -- for example, they're all dead. Wow. The unwritten books: The Horror Over Innsmouth and Lovers...Lady Chatterly's Rats In The Walls....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 07:44 AM

Some folks are named Roger, and they yearn for simplicity. That's about all there is to it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 11:13 PM

H.P. Lovecraft went in for it in a big way too, perhaps even more so than D.H. Lawrence.

Say, what is this thing with authors that use 2 initials and their surname to identify themselves?

We oughta start a thread about that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 11:06 PM

D.H. Lawrence was particularly fond of that last word. Used it over and over in Women In Love.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:48 PM

Not to mention inchoate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:36 PM

innumerate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:36 PM

You forgot intangible, ineffable, and


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:25 PM

And completely unrogered, his poor ashes left unhauled, feeling impregnable, impenetrable, unbearable.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:24 PM

I dunno about Hendrix, but "Shane McBride" did...over and over and over and over and over and over until he finally believed it, even though he was and probably still is unswiven.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 08:29 PM

That's true here as well. Everybody pretends to be quite "experienced" regardless of whether they are or not. They're afraid people will think they are losers. Some, sadly, have gone on pretending for so long that they finally got too old to do anything about the situation.

And there are others who have been acting "experienced" for so long that they have begun to believe their own stories!

Didn't Jimi Hendrix write something about that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 07:59 PM

I hear those virgins are fairly 'tight lipped' about certain aspects of their virgin-ity-ness.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 07:03 PM

Yes, but not if the 97 year old says "no"...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 06:53 PM

Even in Ontario it's legal to have sex with a 97 year old.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 06:44 PM

You are most welcome. I have often made the mistake of assuming that you were saying what you meant too, so you're forgiven.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 06:42 PM

Aha!! Thanks for clarifying that. Of course, I assumed you were saying what you meant. Thanks for the correction.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 06:34 PM

I meant legal to have sex with, you nong! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 06:12 PM

Well, they gotta catch 'em first, and some of them old virgins swing a mighty mean cane.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 05:25 PM

Oh, and I am just positive there are teeming ranks of Correction Department employees of both genders lining up to serve in rectifying the thinking of these poor, misled souls...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 04:28 PM

Well, Amos, not in Idaho. It's a criminal offense here if you're still virgin, or even vergin' on virgin, after you reach the age of 97 years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 04:04 PM

I don't think there is a legal age limit on virginity, Little Hawk. It runs from 0 to as old as you care to extend it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 03:11 PM

Yeah...but you didn't have any virgins out there either until the Catholic Church threatened to permanently boycott Boise and issue a Papal Bull! You guys were facing complete excommunication. I understand that there are now at least 3 virgins of legal age in the greater Boise area. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 01:48 PM

We're probably going to go with fiberglass, or something other than metal -- but it WILL be Class A fire resistant!

Lots of folks around here don't have gutters -- with an average of 17 inches of precip of all forms per year gutters aren't often needed. Heck, the city didn't even have storm drains for a century, and then the EPA insisted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 12:11 PM

I'm surprised they didn't put those alpine deflectors in when the installed the roof. I suppose you could go up and tack in some deflector strips.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 12:06 PM

gutters ain't gonna stop snow from sliding off a roof - they fill up too fast.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:42 AM

Well, see, it's this way, ole pal. If I don't cite a source, then the work is genuine creativity on my part. Unlike some folks I could mention.

And as I recall, citing sources is a recently learned skill on your part; it is bad form to brag about it until you've had a bit more experience...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:41 AM

Hey, Rap, when I called Capital One today to get them to lower the rate on my credit card we got talking about expenses and I mentioned needing a new roof. She said she put a new metal roof on her house (that has already had snow on it, she's just north of you, apparently) and now every time they slam the door the snow on the roof slides off. If someone is near that eve they get snow on their heads or down their necks.

Don't Idaho folks believe in gutters? Or does this happen just at her house?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 09:00 AM

I cite MY sources, Amos.

Unlike some I could mention....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 08:55 AM

Arise! Arise, Mother, from the gloam
As Aphrodite did arise from foam
And like unto the sea-girt wave
About thy feet BS replete



J.J.J.Smythe, excerpt from 'Shite Happens with Classical References'
manuscript from the personal collection of
O.M. River, Jackson, Mississippi


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 10:47 PM

Wow, IDaho -- that sounds almost GEN-yewine!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 10:41 PM

There ain't no jive to shuck, my man
Cuz the Hovel's under a Health Dept ban.
Seems the grease was thick and the soap was thin
And Sam 'n' Ella wuz movin' in.
Toe Main and Cryptosporidium too,
Ol' E. Coli and quite a few
Other fellers who'd make you sick
So the Health Dept shut the place up quick.
Now all the guys 'n' gals are lost,
Cuz the taverns don't sell booze at cost
Like the Hovel does to the Legion folk
(Or give it away if they come in broke).
They're wanderin' around corruptin' youth,
Sellin' dirty postcards at a church fair booth,
Startin' fights and kickin' ass,
Whistlin' at a handsome lad or lass.
Oh! what will the ree-sult be
If the Hovel is not soon set free
Of the Health Department's awful ban
So the girls and boys can once again
Cavort and gambol as they did of yore,
And drink and lie and sleep and snore?

      -- Prudence Chastity Marx-Engels, Songs Of My Youthful                                       
         Desperate Days
(Midlothian, Idaho: Ft. Hall Press, 1847)
         (


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 05:41 PM

I never dreamed that I would strive
Even if I were the last man alive
To write 20, rwo-seven-five.
But someone has to shuck this jive!


A


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