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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 01 Oct 11 - 02:20 PM
Rapparee 01 Oct 11 - 02:20 PM
Rapparee 01 Oct 11 - 02:17 PM
Little Hawk 01 Oct 11 - 01:06 PM
Rapparee 01 Oct 11 - 12:39 PM
Acme 01 Oct 11 - 11:51 AM
Acme 01 Oct 11 - 12:08 AM
Acme 30 Sep 11 - 11:43 PM
Rapparee 30 Sep 11 - 06:18 PM
Acme 30 Sep 11 - 10:30 AM
Rapparee 30 Sep 11 - 10:28 AM
Acme 30 Sep 11 - 12:24 AM
Rapparee 29 Sep 11 - 07:51 PM
Rapparee 29 Sep 11 - 08:51 AM
Amos 28 Sep 11 - 11:30 PM
Little Hawk 28 Sep 11 - 11:25 PM
Rapparee 28 Sep 11 - 07:36 PM
Amos 28 Sep 11 - 06:46 PM
gnu 28 Sep 11 - 06:28 PM
Amos 28 Sep 11 - 06:27 PM
Amos 28 Sep 11 - 06:25 PM
Little Hawk 28 Sep 11 - 06:12 PM
Acme 28 Sep 11 - 06:08 PM
gnu 28 Sep 11 - 05:30 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 28 Sep 11 - 05:29 PM
Little Hawk 28 Sep 11 - 04:51 PM
Amos 28 Sep 11 - 03:32 PM
Rapparee 28 Sep 11 - 02:10 PM
Amos 28 Sep 11 - 10:18 AM
Rapparee 28 Sep 11 - 08:37 AM
Little Hawk 27 Sep 11 - 08:10 PM
Rapparee 27 Sep 11 - 07:14 PM
Rapparee 27 Sep 11 - 06:43 PM
Amos 27 Sep 11 - 02:10 PM
Rapparee 27 Sep 11 - 01:54 PM
Amos 27 Sep 11 - 10:51 AM
Amos 27 Sep 11 - 10:49 AM
Acme 26 Sep 11 - 10:15 PM
Rapparee 26 Sep 11 - 09:58 PM
Rapparee 26 Sep 11 - 09:47 PM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 11 - 05:03 PM
Amos 26 Sep 11 - 05:01 PM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 11 - 04:46 PM
Amos 26 Sep 11 - 04:37 PM
Rapparee 26 Sep 11 - 02:26 PM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 11 - 01:17 PM
Amos 26 Sep 11 - 01:06 PM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 11 - 12:20 PM
Amos 26 Sep 11 - 11:30 AM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 11 - 10:22 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 11 - 02:20 PM

42224.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 11 - 02:20 PM

Oh, what the hell.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 11 - 02:17 PM

I'm sure Amos would be happy to buy Chongo five or six thousand rounds of .45 ACP ammo for his tommy gun.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Oct 11 - 01:06 PM

That is a darn shame. Well, I'll talk to Chongo and see if he can put up (with) Amos for a month or so while the poor man sets about arranging for new lodgings. Chongo's walk-up office and apartment has a little extra room in it, and this would give him and Amos some time to get to know each other really well and iron out the little differences they've had in the past relating to all those unkind things Amos said about Chongo's dereliction of his family duties, etc...

If Amos survives his stay, I'm sure he and Chongo will have much more respect for one another in the future, perhaps even become bosom buddies, maybe go out to the firing range once a week and spend a happy hour or two ventilating target dummies and reminiscing about old Bogart films.

If not.....well...c'est la vie. At least it'll be interesting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 11 - 12:39 PM

Yes, I do feel SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry for poor old Amos. It was too bad about that junk satellite landed smack on top of his house (good thing no one was home!) The News says the house and yard are now under the control of whatever government agency takes control of places that are smashed by falling secret spy satellites.

He can't go home again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Oct 11 - 11:51 AM

Don't mind me, I'll tiptoe through just to nudge MOM back to the top again. The rest of you stay asleep. Blueberry muffins will be out of the oven in about 20 minutes. The pot of tea is brewing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Oct 11 - 12:08 AM

Or - we could just MOVE his house - put it into the Large Hadron Collider at the French/Swiss border since they're closing it.

He'll be heartbroken, as will be Gluon and a few other of our regular irregulars.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Sep 11 - 11:43 PM

Have it in your heart to feel sorry for Amos, our faithful companion who probably is up late, drinking and singing and NOT getting a good night's sleep. Imparing his health for the sake of singing and sharing a few songs.

We should redecorate his house while he's away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 11 - 06:18 PM

William Shatner doesn't know we exist, mostly because William Shatner is a clonal contruct, a failed first attempt by the same people who later brought you that sheep. Yes, they're in Scotland. That is why the Great Scottish War of 2037 will be so terrible.

Chongo Chimp recently died in a fall from top of the Sears Tower, caused by over-reaching for what he thought was a banana. It was really the Goodyear blimp, in town for a Cubs game.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Sep 11 - 10:30 AM

Lovely morning after a rainy evening. We needed it - and this means MOM won't have to wash the car because there was enough rain to wash off most of the accumulated dust. (She protects the paint with a healthy coat of dirt - and would never consider waxing the old jalopy.)

It seems to be an uncertain season. Like maybe the Freds are looming in the background. Keep your DNA and DNS and whatever in a secure place! Who knows what will happen when the BS part of the page has a thread each for William Shatner and Chongo the Chimp.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 11 - 10:28 AM

Wow, what a party that was! Hundreds of Michaels running amok, filling the holes on the golf course with dog poo, throwing empty root beer bottle everywhere, and what the Michelles and Michaelas did shouldn't be reported in a family column (but it was interesting and informative in a strictly scientific sense, because I didn't realize that you could do that with helium-filled balloons and a garden hose).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Sep 11 - 12:24 AM

I bet he won't get much sleep!

Here's a boost up to the top, MOM, in case you're worried that no one will be around overnight or early in the morning to catch you. We haven't all left to frolic for the weekend in Merry-land.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Sep 11 - 07:51 PM

Well, Mom, I'll have a glass of chocolate raspberry wine tonight. Yes, I know, but it's very, very good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Sep 11 - 08:51 AM

HURRAH!!! HURRAH!! HURRAH!

It's Michaelmas! The Feast of St. Michael the Archangel! Break out the booze and have a ball! Sing! Dance! Run naked through the lawn sprinkler! Defeat the demons of Hell! Bake a cake! And in the afternoon you can take a nap!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 11:30 PM

It has begun. I have passed the scrawny check in clerks and the politely distrustful guardians of the Security Charade provided by the American Little Theater Melodrammer Guild. I have walked the long halls, pad the luggage fee, and found the Gateway to the Getaway. I spent the night folded in a small chair like an overgrown grade-school child, knees against chin and elbows withdrawn. At dawn I will have chased the sunrise 3,000 miles in a head-on collision course and will face it while my own people are still deep in a dark slumber. By noon, I will be among my own tribe again in Silver Spring.

Wish me well, dear Maw. I shall return a better man, or a little hoarse, or both, before the turn of the centaury!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 11:25 PM

Be careful, Amos. There is madness in their method...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 07:36 PM

Even if I were to be at Getaway tomorrow would be the MOST IMPORTANT day of the year, equal to St. Patrick's Day, Guy Fawkes Day, Christmas, Valentine's Day, May 1, Bastille Day, Victoria Day, Lughnasa, Samain, and all them other holidays and holy days rolled up into one!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 06:46 PM

The site I am going to is owned and operated by Methodists. Go figger!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 06:28 PM

I googled that and all that came up were sex sites.

Yes, intended.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 06:27 PM

So long, Maw. I am catching the next tin can outta this burg, and heading for the bright lights and soothing songs of the Getway on Chalk Point Road in lovely rural Marylandia!!

Ciaou!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 06:25 PM

Nah, Raparee ain't coming. He dinged his ulnar metatempsychosis and the Doc says he's not allowed to think anything for a week.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 06:12 PM

Oh! Okay, I get it. Damn shame Chongo won't be able to attend, eh? He's too busy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 06:08 PM

So it'll just be me and the chimp here keeping MOM afloat while you guys frolic in lovely Ballermer?

Have fun, say "hello!" to everyone for me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 05:30 PM

LH... a hint.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 05:29 PM

The thing that is so special about tomorrow is...I am gettin' a brand new hat. The old one's startin' to look shabby, and I gotta keep up appearances just like Philip Marlowe or Bogart would do.

Also, I was gonna post the 42,200th post tomorrow.

But the numbers advanced too fast for that.

So I am postin' it now instead.

42,200 !!!!

Ook! Ook! ;-D

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 04:51 PM

What in the heck are you guys on about? What is so important about tomorrow?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 03:32 PM

Four more hours til my weary corpse folds up in a cramped Delta tube.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 02:10 PM

TOMORROW: The Greatest And Most Important Day Of The Year!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 10:18 AM

TONIGHT!!




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 08:37 AM

You obviously haven't been married. For example, my brother dropped the ring into shag carpet just as the bride started up the aisle and he and the best man were on their knees looking for it -- fortunately they found it just in time. As he ritually greeted his groomsmen he shook our hands and said "Peace on you."

Of course, he viewed the whole thing as a necessary piece of theater.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 11 - 08:10 PM

Very amusing! ;-) It's nice to see people staying that light-hearted under the pressure of all that solemnity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 11 - 07:14 PM

Shucks, I'm jist an ol' romantic....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 11 - 06:43 PM

Well, it IS an important day. Perhaps more important than Christmas, New Year's, the Fourth of July, Guy Fawkes, and all of them put together!

Let's hear it now:

Always remember
The 29th of September....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 11 - 02:10 PM

How did i KNOW??????? I KNEW your post was going to say that before i opened it!!!!!!! Wow!! That is so far OUUUUUT, man, y'know? Groovy!

Actually, for me, it starts tomorrow night with a red-eye to Atlanta.

Flying on the Continental Redeye
Landing in Atlanta in my sleep.
Stagger to a connecting plane
That lands in Baltimore
Just before the traffic starts to creep.


(Excerpt from the chart-busting pop hit "Red Eye to Atlanta", by Jimmy John and the Jimjammers, Motown Records, 1972).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 11 - 01:54 PM

THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW!! HURRAH!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 11 - 10:51 AM

THe water in the creek in question is highly recommended by the Sailing Directions for Arctic Canadian waters. The creek is called Freshwater for reasons lost in antiquity.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 11 - 10:49 AM

OH, no, ma'am, not you, ma'am. I was referring to the other ma'a'm, who, in the post just prior to mine, had identified herself as "the whole world".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 10:15 PM

Projecting? Me? I was simply concerned for the health of the individual in the photo on the log you posted. MOM was a little bit worried herself, until I explained that he wasn't getting water in the creek behind the house, it's a little further away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 09:58 PM

EVANSTON, Ill., Sept. 23 (UPI) -- U.S. chemists say a class of natural nanostructures made of sugar, salt and alcohol can capture and store carbon dioxide while being carbon neutral themselves.

The porous crystals known as metal-organic frameworks or MOFs are made from all-natural ingredients and are simple to prepare, giving them a huge advantage over other MOFs usually prepared from materials derived from crude oil and often incorporating toxic heavy metals, researchers at Northwestern University said.

"By preparing our MOFs from naturally derived ingredients, we are not only making materials that are entirely nontoxic, but we are also cutting down on the carbon dioxide emissions associated with their manufacture," study co-author Ross S. Forgan said.

The "organic" Northwestern MOFs turn red when completely full of carbon dioxide and the carbon capture process is reversible, a Northwestern release said Friday.

The natural nanostructure's main component is a naturally occurring biorenewable sugar molecule known as gamma-cyclodextrin derived from cornstarch.

"I think this is a remarkable demonstration of how simple chemistry can be successfully applied to relevant problems like carbon capture and sensor technology," study co-author Ronald A. Smaldone said.


Salt, sugar, grease, chocolate and alcohol -- the five essential food groups -- prove their worth again!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 09:47 PM

Do you know who this idiot is who disturbs the public peace? If so, epoxy the door to his gas cap shut. Done carefully it won't be visible from the outside. Use heavy duty epoxy.

Or put a potato on his tailpipe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 05:03 PM

Maybe so. I will ask him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 05:01 PM

Just ask Chongo--I believe he is on a professional friendly footing with them!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 04:46 PM

It's only unbearable when the local idiot goes by in his "boom" car.

THOOOMP!!! THOOOOMP!!! THOOOOMP!!!

I'll have to see if I can get hold of one of them IEDs from the Taliban...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 04:37 PM

Maybe they could just flit over the Reality Horizon and track down that chimp who is causing poor Hawkster so much grief. The dissonancemust be unbearable!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 02:26 PM

Musta been last yer when I found out that ol' Doc Johnson went and copyrighted the dictionary. Noah Webster, here in the State, wrote one fer Americans some yers later, and the Merriam-Webster company has done gone and made one of yer "international cabals" with the OED folks, thereby controlling all of the words that are er ever was in the English Language. Iffen yer speaking any form of English yer better ta watch yer backtrail, cuz them Dictionary Police might be on to you in their black hellykopters and stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 01:17 PM

Your naivete' regarding the entire situation shocks and saddens me, Amos. How are you going to react when Chongo Chimp takes the oath of office in January of 2013? I think you should take a reality pill, hunker down, and face the fact that REAL change is just over the horizon. Yes, my friend, the familiar world you have so long relied upon, the comfy world of cuddly, lovable Democrats and hateful, homophobic Republicans is about to come crashing down around your ears. Don't be caught napping when it does!

(Note that I did not say "yer" ears. And that didn't count either, because I put "yer" in quotes. I will not have to Paypal 20 cents to Chongo for those 2 uses of "yer". Ummm...make that 3 uses of....you know...)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 01:06 PM

I'm sorry, but single words in common parlance cannot be copyrighted. Further I would bring to your attention that it is a violation of Federal code of Trademark and Copyright laws to claim a copyright or seek to inure copyright from a copyright where no copyright has been filed or granted. Your chimpanzee, furthermore, has no standing to file for any copyright, for U.S. purposes, as he is an imaginary artifact and was born in an alien brain.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 12:20 PM

LOL! Good guess. Look, something can be around almost forever, but until someone has the idea of copyrighting it, it's basically up for grabs.

Chongo copyrighted the expression "yer" (and all its derivatives) in February of 2011. He now owns the expression "yer". Chongo can say "Yer an asshole!" anytime he wants, but if anyone else says it, they have to pay him 10 cents through Paypal. He figures that this alone will be enough to finance his 2012 campaign and propel him to the White House, and I think he may well be right.

It was a brilliant strategic move. The corporates aren't gonna know what hit them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 11:30 AM

SOrry, Mister H., but perior usage is rampant long before that fuzz-brained poop-slinger was first imagined. No such copyright would hold water, and certainly would not be granted in the US. Or was it Sierra Leone where he applied?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 10:22 AM

Chongo has copyrighted the expression "yer", Amos. You cannot use it without his permission, and you must pay him royalties whenever you do. This also applies to "YER", "Yer", "YEr", "yEr", and "yeR", so don't think you can wiggle out of it by introducing some such minor variation in upper or lower case.


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