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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 10 Jul 15 - 10:35 PM
gnu 10 Jul 15 - 08:30 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Jul 15 - 01:59 PM
Rapparee 10 Jul 15 - 01:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Jul 15 - 08:53 PM
Donuel 09 Jul 15 - 07:30 PM
gnu 09 Jul 15 - 07:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Jul 15 - 12:29 PM
GUEST, ^*^ 09 Jul 15 - 10:29 AM
Donuel 09 Jul 15 - 10:15 AM
Rapparee 09 Jul 15 - 08:34 AM
Amos 09 Jul 15 - 02:02 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Jul 15 - 10:19 PM
gnu 08 Jul 15 - 09:35 PM
Rapparee 08 Jul 15 - 09:24 PM
gnu 08 Jul 15 - 09:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Jul 15 - 05:31 PM
Acme 08 Jul 15 - 05:05 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Jul 15 - 11:12 AM
Rapparee 08 Jul 15 - 10:40 AM
Amos 08 Jul 15 - 02:36 AM
Rapparee 07 Jul 15 - 09:58 PM
Ebbie 07 Jul 15 - 09:38 PM
Amos 07 Jul 15 - 05:45 PM
gnu 07 Jul 15 - 02:53 PM
gnu 07 Jul 15 - 02:45 PM
gnu 07 Jul 15 - 12:54 PM
Acme 07 Jul 15 - 12:43 PM
Acme 07 Jul 15 - 12:35 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Jul 15 - 10:31 AM
Rapparee 07 Jul 15 - 09:18 AM
Rapparee 07 Jul 15 - 08:30 AM
Rapparee 06 Jul 15 - 10:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jul 15 - 09:05 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jul 15 - 09:05 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jul 15 - 09:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jul 15 - 09:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jul 15 - 08:34 PM
gnu 06 Jul 15 - 08:13 PM
gnu 06 Jul 15 - 08:03 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jul 15 - 05:39 PM
GUEST, ^*^ 06 Jul 15 - 04:35 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 15 - 03:09 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jul 15 - 02:18 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 15 - 02:10 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jul 15 - 11:42 AM
Rapparee 06 Jul 15 - 11:20 AM
Rapparee 06 Jul 15 - 11:16 AM
Amos 06 Jul 15 - 11:05 AM
Rapparee 06 Jul 15 - 10:56 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jul 15 - 10:35 PM

We are all just monkeys in shoes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jul 15 - 08:30 PM

175#. 120/70/64. Doc says I am doing well. SO! Tonight, I am eating 375g of bacon and whatever the fuck else I want. And I'll wash it down with copious quantities of ale. Tomorrow, I may rue today. Rough ass.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jul 15 - 01:59 PM

Henry Homes is a real estate developer/home construction company. I don't know if they're a national company or just regional. They don't actually build hovels. The build multitudes of massive multistoried McMansions which look monotonously similar, right down to the mailboxes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 15 - 01:18 PM

Henry was Sherlock's other brother?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jul 15 - 08:53 PM

I once lived in a hovel. It was in a subdivision built by Henry Homes called "Hardscrabble Hills". Nothing but hectares and hectares of horrifically horrendous hovels. The neighbors were all hop-heads who were habitually high on heroin. Happily, I only lived there half a year before moving to a trashy trailer by the train tracks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Jul 15 - 07:30 PM

I once lived in a Victorian painted lady cottage on Normal St.
Right in between 12th and 14th St.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jul 15 - 07:02 PM

Guest... yes... sue, sue, sue!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jul 15 - 12:29 PM

A factory where 666 Colds Remedy was once manufactured sat at the foot of The Acosta Bridge in my hometown of Jacksonville, FL. (Click for picture.) There was a flashing red neon sign atop the building (you can only see it edgewise in the photo) which was aimed at traffic coming off the bridge. Growing up in a non-religious family, I associated "666" with that sign. I don't think I even knew about the "mark of the beast" thing until the film The Omen came out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, ^*^
Date: 09 Jul 15 - 10:29 AM

I learned yesterday that a friend/co-worker is being laid off. She's just over a year away from retirement eligibility. I hope she sues the bejeezus out of the employer in question.

That is all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Jul 15 - 10:15 AM

Nah that's not wound up. That's mildly piqued over superstition.
Some people get wound up over BS to deadly proportions




* $1.99: Extra Ham on Eggs _~_ 66 cent profit margarine.




* Cartoon of the profit.
More ham Ed?
Piece be up on'em.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 15 - 08:34 AM

Useter be that US 666 ran right through Navajo Country. But the signs kept gittin' stole and now it's US 491. But there are still State routes 666 in Texas, Florida, Ohio, and Pennsylvania, and several In Other Places like Alberta and Ireland. There used to be one in Ontario but it got renumbered to 658, probably because them folks couldn't count right.

Ol' Bob Heinlein got it right -- it's actually 6 to the 6th to the 6th.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 15 - 02:02 AM

For good and suffocating reason, I might add.

Honestlly, if all the false assumptions, bum steers, bent tips, random arbitrary data, and plain old lies embraced by our species were laidf end to end it would reach from here to a blistering inferno of apathetic confusion. It;s worse than the mile high mountain of MOAB, where at least we KNOW we're promoting BS.

"Oooooo! 666 is the special number of a mythical demon of Evil in a book of legends generated by a tribe of middle Eastern farmers and camel herders from Mesopotamia about four thosand years before the transistor was invented, so we'd better avoid it in administering the economic systems of modern gummint! Oooooo!"

It is, I say, to bloody well spit!

My, you gents know how to wind a feller up, now, doncher?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jul 15 - 10:19 PM

Hi Mom! Did you know the US Social Security Administration does not issue Social Security numbers which include the numerical sequence "666"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jul 15 - 09:35 PM

FSS reports a high level of static. Tune into ECAV for weather before filing and file flight plans well in advance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 15 - 09:24 PM

How many pole dancers were there? Did they serve decent booze or the sort of thing that used to be served to cowboys? Were there any killings while you were playing or just woundings? Did anyone ride their horse, mule, or motorcycle into the bar? Was the sound system cranked up high enough to stun the pilots of passing aircraft or just enough to jiggle the dials on the ISS?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jul 15 - 09:22 PM

Hey suckface... glad to hear things went well. Heal well and soon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jul 15 - 05:31 PM

Sounds like the kind of place that puts a welcome mat at the door so you can wipe your feet as you leave.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jul 15 - 05:05 PM

Heck with the chain link fence, was there bullet-proof glass?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jul 15 - 11:12 AM

Yes, was there a floor-to-ceiling chain link fence around the stage to protect you from flying bottles?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 15 - 10:40 AM

Isn't that a biker bar? You keeping singing in places like that and they'll kick you out of the Republican Party.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 15 - 02:36 AM

I sang at The Renegade in east county San Diego tonight. It was lovely. I have acquired a new raucous song written by Tom Russell, whom I admire for his great dexterity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 15 - 09:58 PM

Let me know when you're coming, Ebbie. I'll try to shoehorn you into the house and I'll water the soup a bit more. Bring the pupdog as well, we have a fenced back yard.

The surgery went okay. I wasn't unconscious or anything. He used a local anesthetic. I tried to talk him out of that, saying that I appreciated a good esthetic, but he injected me anyway and know I have no esthetic taste at all. He said that he got all the skin cancer out and that the edges and all were clear. However, I do have a hole in my cheek and I can suck a straw without opening my mouth at all (I can also sing that way and many people tell me that they like me singing with my mouth shut).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 Jul 15 - 09:38 PM

Rap: "Not many dare to come visit Mom -- Ebbie and ^*^ and a few others. 1,000 cubic miles of BS. Makes ya stop and think."

shoot- I first read that as an invite to visit RAP. Some things take me awhile.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jul 15 - 05:45 PM

Major stress conditions--our passports have been our dear friends for ten years as of August 6th, meaning they will expire. Who wants to fly to foreign lands with an expired passport, eh? Not I, sayeth the pig. Scramble scramble, get photos, print forms, fill out forms. Go see Gummint Men next Tuesday and get passports renewed within six days. Fingers crossed, pant pant pant.

If Mount MOAB ever should give way
Between Canucks and the USA
The land would split and cave and cleave
Brave men would cry, women would grieve
And all the hearts on all the sleeves
Of BS artists break and bleed.

The smoke of dreams and jests undone
Would blot the ever-loving Sun
And all the world forget to grin
As Mom's great peaks go crashing in;

And worse, when all of that were done
The sober bastards would have won!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Jul 15 - 02:53 PM

Acme... one of the appeals for me is that Kijiji states right up front... don't ship>>> meet in person>>> get cash. Now, if ya wanna buy new on-line, fine but I don't buy anything on-line unless it's with a prepaid Visa with a small $ limit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Jul 15 - 02:45 PM

Last time I mowed my front lawn, I left out a mower deck wide strip on the slope on the side of the walkway away from George's property. Today, he asked if I was having problems with my lawn mower. I said, "No. It's working fine (head bob)... I hear the phone... gotta go answer it." I love fuckin with Holier Than Thou George. I'll bet he wants to mow that strip real bad. I appreciate my living artwork. It's an innate talent. My next project is entitled, "George's fuckin wind chimes bother me at night while I am trying to sleep." The short title is, "Untangle this, motherfucker."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Jul 15 - 12:54 PM

The one on my right cheek bone? Hockey stick. Left forearm? Hockey stick. Right wrist? Hockey stick. Top of my head? Teeth. I slashed his hockey stick and shoulder boarded the big fucker (over a foot taller than the biggest guy on my team) so hard that I knocked the wind out of him and his head jerked forward such that his eye teeth contacted my skull. Talk about blood! I was literally seeing red whilst I was smacking the big prick silly until the refs hauled me off him, which is how I got some of the scars on my knuckles. Slashing, boarding, game misconduct, a three game suspension and a lot of pats on the back from my teammates. Him? Well, let's just say he never played dirty hockey and threw his weight around again while I was on shift.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jul 15 - 12:43 PM

This is why I keep forgetting about Kijiji. Craig's List is overstuffed with scammers and people who will not accept a list price, no matter how reasonable. People who tell you they are interested, then never turn up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jul 15 - 12:35 PM

The question before entering the garden: steel toed boots or Keds? Keds usually win, but some days, like today, when the big mattock will be in use, are steel-toed boots kind of days. I haven't hit myself in the foot (knock wood) with a sharp or heavy hand tool, but I have seen it happen (nothing like a stint in the US Forest Service to give you up close and personal views of hand-tool and saw accidents).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Jul 15 - 10:31 AM

I have a thirty-year-old scar on my left ankle that serves as a reminder to always wear boots when doing construction projects involving sharp metals.

And I have a ten-year-old scar on my right thumb that serves as a reminder to always wear gloves when doing construction projects involving sharp metals.

You'd think a reasonably intelligent person would have extrapolated enough information from wound #1 to avoid wound #2. Some of us are slow learners.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 15 - 09:18 AM

Oh, yeah. In about 90 minutes I have Mohes surgery for basal cell carcinoma on my right cheek. I hope it leaves a great scar so I can tell everyone that I got it during a Mensur with a Korpsbrudder during my days at Heidelburg.

Scars -- dueling, knife, bullet, broken bottle to the face, cut finger, sewing -- get you respect and credibility in the Legion Hovel. The scar on my right leg, the result of being slashed by a corn knife when I was a Boy Scout, increased my Legion cred to the sky (but it only shows when I'm wearing shorts because Legionaires and Legionettes don't approve of dropping you pants in the public areas of the Hovel).

I got that scar when I was slashed by a guy who didn't like it that I had more merit badges than he had. After I was cut I walked two miles, blood running down my leg and I getting weaker and weaker, to the Scoutmaster for first aid. Just as I got there I passed out from loss of blood, but he was able to revive me and treat the wound. Apart from losing my shoes because the blood that filled them soaked the leather beyond redemption and after the septicemia was fixed I recovered nicely. As a side note, the guy who cut me later went to prison for embezzlement, and him an Eagle scout.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 15 - 08:30 AM

Should Mount MOAB be given to landslides, would those who helped pile it be held responsible? Will that say, "That Rapparee! He buried my house under tonnes of BS! I wish he was rich like Amos so he could pay for the damages! My insurance covers everything except BS slides."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 15 - 10:41 PM

Mt. Everest IS a pimple. Compared to dear old Mom, they are all pimples. Pimples on a real poster's posterior padding. Not many dare to come visit Mom -- Ebbie and ^*^ and a few others. 1,000 cubic miles of BS. Makes ya stop and think.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jul 15 - 09:05 PM

Yippee! 52,800! That's the number of feet in ten miles! We have now posted ten miles of BS!

But, you may ask, is that ten miles wide, ten miles long, or ten miles high? I say, all of 'em! That's a thousand cubic miles of BS! Makes Mount Everest look like a pimple!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jul 15 - 09:05 PM

52,799


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jul 15 - 09:04 PM

52,798


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jul 15 - 09:01 PM

I once played in a coed intramural volleyball league. Our team wasn't really very good, but none of our female members ever wore bras. This caused a fair amount of distraction among male members of opposing teams, resulting in a fair number of errors.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jul 15 - 08:34 PM

I keep an old thrift store tennis racquet around to swat carpenter bees. It's the only way to control the sumbitches.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jul 15 - 08:13 PM

Only selling 3 racquets on accounta I gotta keep one fer squashin vermin what piss me off. Had an aggressive robin that would not stop building a nest on my AC. Knocked the partial nest off three times over two days so as not to get my AC fan messed up. Then, whilst I was enjoying a quaff on the patio, it flew at me on my blind side, lifted and shat on the side of my head. Just like one a them there dam buster planes in yer WWII. I washed and returned to my chair with squash racquet in hand. Problem solved... game... set... match.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jul 15 - 08:03 PM

Let's talk squash. The most physically demanding sport on earth short of warfare. Look it up lest ye have issues. Now, take squash and add Canuck rules. In Canuck squash, there is no referee and 'lets' are not given. Poofty bullshit is that! What is given is checking an opponent onto the floor to get to the ball or, if he continuously blocks play, driving a Yellow Dot at several thousand miles per hour speed into the small of his back. As for smacking an opponent with one's racquet, I paid $12.50 for my last one some 35 years ago or so and I'll be damned if I would possibly break it in such fashion. I am a Canuck! I'd drop the racquet and drop the cad what offended wit me own knuckles. There's yer fuckin let buddy, Canuck style.

Sigh... I used to spend 5 to 6 hours on the squash court every Saturday and Sunday. In a row. One opponent after another. Now, I have a hard time mowing the lawn. Hmmmm... maybe the extreme squash was a bad idea? BTW... http://www.kijiji.ca/v-view-details.html?requestSource=b&adId=1014774116


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jul 15 - 05:39 PM

I know what you mean, Rap. Heck, volleyball was a much better game back when it was a full-contact sport. Then they put up a net to keep the two teams on different sides of the court and that pretty much eliminated the tackling, tripping, and cross-body blocking. Same thing with tennis. It was a much more compelling game back when you could run up and KO your opponent with your racquet while he was waiting for a high lob shot to come down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, ^*^
Date: 06 Jul 15 - 04:35 PM

Balls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 15 - 03:09 PM

It is still better than golf, where a bunch of people run around a cow pasture hitting their balls with clubs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jul 15 - 02:18 PM

That should be "earth around here", not "her". Coach Bryant is buried near Birmingham, Alabama, which is less than 200 miles from here. If he were to roll over in his grave, my humble abode would be well within the zone of probable seismic disturbance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 15 - 02:10 PM

It used to be better, Bee Dub, until the effete got aholt of the rules. Like US football, it used to include the Flying Wedge, eye gouging, thumb breaking, crotch kicking, and other such stuff. Then in the nineteenth century the playing fields of Eton and Rugby and other "public schools" quite took the fun out of it. Something about the goalie being trampled and stomped 'most to death in several games and blood making the field slippery. The Keep Our Football! Association (KOF!A) rallied against the rule change but could not stop or derail it and so you end up with a bunch of people kicking a ball around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jul 15 - 11:42 AM

I, for one, am merely glad the US's bout of soccer-mania is over with for a while. I really don't get it. The game is so un-American. I mean, we Yanks pride ourselves on being "hands on", but soccer is a game where it's illegal to even use your hands. And what's this nil shit? We don't have nil. We have zero, zip, zilch, nothing, nada, and a goose egg, but no nil. Are we doomed to hear some future broadcaster at The Iron Bowl announce a score of "Auburn, seven - Alabama, nil?" I can already feel the earth around her begin to tremble as Bear Bryant rolls over in his grave.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 15 - 11:20 AM

I shall also be in Butte (which, backwards, is ettuB) from July 18 to July 25, learning Oirish. To put it another way, beidh mé freisin i Butte (a, ar gcúl é, ettuB ) ó 18 Iúil - 25 IÚIL, Oirish foghlama. Backwards that is, of course, .amalhgof hsiriO ,LIÚI 52 - liúI 81 ó ) Butte ,é lúcg ra ,a( ettuB i nisierf ém hdieB


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 15 - 11:16 AM

Are your feet backwards or your body, or is it only that your head is turned the wrong way vis-a-vis everyone else?

I'll be in Alsace first couple of weeks in August. Alsace spelled upside down and backward is ǝɔɐsl∀. I'm not an authority on ǝɔɐsl∀, never having been there before.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jul 15 - 11:05 AM

I will be leaving California.

I know this may come as a shock, but nothing remains the same forever.

But rather than move lock, stock, and barrel to Tortola, I have decided to fly to Ireland.

This will happen in late August. I will change my mind about the whole thing somewhere close to the end of August and return to California, at least temporarily, by the first of September.

Then I will be a California flip-flopper, and will wear purple California flip-flops. ANd while I am on the subject, let me add that flip-flops spelled backwards is still spolf-pilf. I am the world's leading expert on spolf-pilf, and have contributed several important improvements to human understanding of the subject.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 15 - 10:56 AM

Yes, indeed it was a great game! The Idaho Legion's "Fighting Lemurs" once again clinched the title and The Cup. It was touch and go until the last quarter or so, when the Lemurs finally kicked the puck through the upper goal and scored the winning touchdown. They clinched it when the friendly kicked a yorker with a cleek through the blindside drop goal; it rafaled off the keeper without stooging!

Eiseley played and scored twice, once following a Transylvania Tackle after a forced sloth grip roll, but she had to go to bench because of the heat (it was 310.15 outside and 373.15 inside); she put the Lemurs up at the fifth third though and the lead-on was never lost. She did a great stick-and-move in sixte in the scrum as well.


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