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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 27 Jan 07 - 06:16 PM
Acme 27 Jan 07 - 11:25 AM
Rapparee 27 Jan 07 - 11:15 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Jan 07 - 01:47 AM
Rapparee 26 Jan 07 - 11:34 PM
JennyO 26 Jan 07 - 09:46 PM
Bunnahabhain 26 Jan 07 - 06:12 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 07 - 06:07 PM
Amos 26 Jan 07 - 05:05 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jan 07 - 04:59 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 07 - 04:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jan 07 - 03:52 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 07 - 03:15 PM
Bunnahabhain 26 Jan 07 - 02:39 PM
Bunnahabhain 26 Jan 07 - 02:32 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 07 - 01:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jan 07 - 12:28 PM
MMario 26 Jan 07 - 12:07 PM
Acme 26 Jan 07 - 12:06 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jan 07 - 12:02 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 07 - 11:21 AM
Bunnahabhain 26 Jan 07 - 11:06 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jan 07 - 10:27 AM
Acme 26 Jan 07 - 10:03 AM
Amos 26 Jan 07 - 09:32 AM
Rapparee 26 Jan 07 - 09:00 AM
MMario 26 Jan 07 - 08:35 AM
Bunnahabhain 26 Jan 07 - 05:20 AM
Acme 26 Jan 07 - 12:08 AM
Rapparee 25 Jan 07 - 06:56 PM
Acme 25 Jan 07 - 06:43 PM
Rapparee 25 Jan 07 - 05:20 PM
Amos 25 Jan 07 - 05:11 PM
Amos 25 Jan 07 - 04:05 PM
Acme 25 Jan 07 - 04:00 PM
Rapparee 25 Jan 07 - 03:59 PM
Amos 25 Jan 07 - 03:36 PM
Rapparee 25 Jan 07 - 01:47 PM
MMario 25 Jan 07 - 01:26 PM
Rapparee 25 Jan 07 - 01:15 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 07 - 01:07 PM
Amos 25 Jan 07 - 12:36 PM
MMario 25 Jan 07 - 12:31 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 07 - 12:24 PM
JennyO 25 Jan 07 - 11:56 AM
Bunnahabhain 25 Jan 07 - 11:19 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 07 - 10:47 AM
Acme 25 Jan 07 - 10:25 AM
Rapparee 25 Jan 07 - 09:30 AM
Rapparee 24 Jan 07 - 10:32 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 06:16 PM

He'd have been blue, Stilly. Besides, one doesn't mention "grass" to a person from SoCal. They get all excited and ask if you have any.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 11:25 AM

Hey, Amos, I saw what you did! You ran out of cereal puns so you introduced dairy and herb in their place. Whey and oregano, indeed! You'd have done better to switch into the turf grasses, then your obfescueation would have gone undetected.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 11:15 AM

Are they available in silver, preferably in the Rambler Rose pattern? I'm afraid that I can't eat with anything less.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 01:47 AM

Hi, Mom! Guess what today is! Why, it's

National Spork Day!!!

Upon this day, all Moabites are encouraged to eschew conventional silverware and eat all meals using only sporks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 11:34 PM

I have just returned from a Legion meeting, now that things have dried out some. They are planning to build a railroad to the Hovel, so that beer and such stuff can be hauled up in tank-car loads. What's being planned is a circular line from the mainline off to the Hovel and then back down. The engine would pull a line of full tank cars up, and move 'em forward as they are emptied. When they reach the mainline again they'll be disconnected from the Legion Hovel, Western, Eastern, Southern, Northern and Corn Creek Rail Road (LHWESN&CCRR) and returned to sender for a refill. In exchange a full car will be coupled to the end of the train and a FRED installed on it.

The vote was overwhelmingly in favor of this plan, and was announced by the usual hoots, hollers, and shooting out of nearby streetlights.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 09:46 PM

I'll raise you $5 for that pair of Earls, the Baronet, the Viscount and the God-King, and I'll see you.

(I've got a full house - MWUHAHAHAHA!)

I've also got some of these , and I'm not afraid to use them!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 06:12 PM

I've got a pair of Earls, a Baronet, I'm sure there's a Viscount down the back of the sofa somewhere, and the God-King in exile of a small South Pacific Island mainly populated by headhunters.

But no Dukes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 06:07 PM

Put up yer dukes! C'mon, c'mon, put 'em up!

Didn't think so....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 05:05 PM

You guys may be going against the grain for a seedy sot like Rapaire. Millet over and change your wheys, oregano up and whack you-all.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 04:59 PM

But, underneath, he's a real sWHEAT guy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 04:27 PM

And every morning he's a CEREAL killer....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 03:52 PM

I don't see why Rapaire would object to being called "BARLEY dressed". He has a RYE sense of humour. Oh, he'll get HOPping mad every now and then, if someone gets his gOAT, and he'll go sit in CORNer and MILLET over. But then he'll RICE back up ' cause he's a guy who can take a little FLAX.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 03:15 PM

There are examples here. Here's
another.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 02:39 PM

I noticed after I'd hit submit that I had Barley dressed Rapiere. I'm not sure I want to know how you dress somebody in a cereal crop, but know all too well that that is the kind of question that gets answered round here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 02:32 PM

They generally a light golden colour, rectangular, and always contain an amount of ground coconut, and have 'NICE' stamped into them. As we now appear to be talking about barley dressed Idaho Liberians , i hope they're not the same thing....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 01:04 PM

Well, I have a photo of myself on a nude beach in Biarritz, if that means anything.

Yessir, the air temperature was about 40F and there was a brisk wind off the Atlantic and that beach was plumb nude. I was wearing a sweater and a parka, among other things....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 12:28 PM

Some of us have nice biscuits, Bunn, but I don't think we're talking abut the same thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 12:07 PM

SRS - you take all the time you want - I'm sending my visual cortex out for a scrubbing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 12:06 PM

Let us take a moment to visualize that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 12:02 PM

See? If you had gone to Nice, you wouldn't have needed underwear! You could have bought a cute little Speedo weenie bikini and worn it, and nothing else, the entire time you were there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 11:21 AM

I had a nice niece in Nice. I think that's where British Airways sent my luggage when I went to France. Oh, wait. That was Nimes. Totally different place, where they have an aquaduct (which the Romans built and which, for some reason, doesn't go any where) and where the people don't lay around getting brown and wasting money all the time. My baggage ORIGINALLY when to Bangkok. It made it from DC to Heathrow, but somehow got on the plane to Thailand while I went to Paris and then to Avignon (yes, I've been on the bridge there but I didn't dance because the sign said "Pas de deux" which means "No dancing" in French and besides, that bridge ends abruptly in the middle of the river). So BA found my luggage in Bangkok and flew it back to London and then to Paris and then to Nimes and had it delivered by van to my hotel in Avignon, and I finally had some clean underwear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 11:06 AM

Are Nice biscuits obligatory on a nice day, or don't they make it over the Atlantic? I found various UK related websites obsessing over biscuits, without any actual information content in them.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 10:27 AM

Hi, Mom! Today is

Nice Day!!!

Yes, when people tell you to "Have a Nice Day!" this is the day they're talking about! Nice Day is the day when we observe the importance of the French city of Nice. Yeah, we know it's pronounced like "niece", but it's not our problem if supermarket cashiers are ignorant. Nice is the fifth largest city in France, with a population of 993,000 people, and is hot shit with people who believe spending money to turn brown is a prerequisite for Nirvana. Nice is near Cannes and Monaco where people with even more money waste it on similarly ill-conceived attempts at self-actualization.

Have a Nice Day!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 10:03 AM

Everyone, Duck!















maybe he's actually a quacker


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 09:32 AM

I am neither cracker nor hacker, good Rapaire, but a fakir. One who pretends to do mystical things by means of computers.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 09:00 AM

"Hack" is computerese for "knocking out code" or "programming like crazy." I assume that Amos knows how to do this and is a premier hacker.

(Those who break into other people's computers are called "crackers", no matter WHAT the press says. They are also criminals and should have painful things done to them.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 08:35 AM

Rap said:

    hggva -- to hew or carve

       Amos! You don't know how to hack??


Well, (and I will probably regret this) there are some who would say Amos *is* a hack; not that I would ever contemplate such a sentiment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 05:20 AM

Thought for the day....

How many halls must a man ring round, before he finds space to dance?



At the moment, seven and counting...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 12:08 AM

Don't even mention it. That damned chewing tobacco usurped a perfectly good word!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 06:56 PM

Yes, Skoal is good. So is Copenhagen and Grizzly, I'm told. Me, I smoked a pipe and never got into that smokeless tobacco stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 06:43 PM

"Nissetroll" is a good word. I have a nissetroll who works every year we have a yule tree. Ja. She does a good job protecting it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 05:20 PM

blundra "shut one's eyes" in the oldest sense in Middle English, "to stumble around blindly"

Or, perhaps, the root of our word "blunder"?

drit -- Norwegian for "shit" or something negative.

...mayhap the source of the English word "dirt"?

hggva -- to hew or carve

Amos! You don't know how to hack????

myki -- dung (Old Norse)

Cow (or bull) manure, something appropriate here

viska: a form of literary irresponsib....

One would think you knew about whisk (or viska) brooms....

I shall assume that no one is offended by my emendations of Amos's gibberings.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 05:11 PM

Odd- Safari never showed it double.

Microsoft Blundra, perhaps.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 04:05 PM

blundra "shut one's eyes" in the oldest sense in Middle English, "to stumble around blindly"

drit -- Norwegian for "shit" or something negative.

hggva -- to hew or carve

myki -- dung (Old Norse)



viska: a form of literary irresponsibility practiced by certain Nordic fish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 04:00 PM

BWL, if you want to learn an Old Norse word, it's hard to go wrong if you start out with Skoal! One of my favorites! I'll make it purple in honor of your made up holiday.

And by the way, did you know that the double listing of MOAB in the Forum seems to only appear in IE? I just opened Firefox to check the color if worked right (displaying a visited link color) and there MOM is, just ONCE in the forum? How can this be?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 03:59 PM

I would not want to insult anyone's intelligence by translating into English that which I presume is already known. How would you feel if I thought it needful to translate something as simple as

Quot viae quae homo peragranda,
Donec grandem anima fit.
Sic, et quot maria columba velanda
Donec quiescit acta,
Sic et quot sagitt'ab arcibus volanda,
Ante pac'aeternam fore?


or

Upon the vices to procede
After the cause of mannes dede,
The ferste point of Slowthe I calle
Lachesce, and is the chief of alle,
And hath this propreliche of kinde,
To leven alle thing behinde.
Of that he mihte do now hier
He tarieth al the longe yer,
And everemore he seith, "Tomorwe";
And so he wol his time borwe,
And wissheth after "God me sende,"
That whan he weneth have an ende,
Thanne is he ferthest to beginne.


(Which, being in English, is impossible to translate INTO English.)

or

Us is riht micel         t we rodera weard,
    wereda wuldorcining,         wordum herigen,
    modum lufien!         He is mgna sped,
    heafod ealra         heahgesceafta,

    frea lmihtig.         Ns him fruma fre,
    or geworden,         ne nu ende cym
    ecean drihtnes,         ac he bi a rice
    ofer heofenstolas.         Heagum rymmum
    sofst and swifeorm         sweglbosmas heold,

    a wron gesette         wide and side
    urh geweald godes         wuldres bearnum,
    gasta weardum.         Hfdon gleam and dream,
    and heora ordfruman,         engla reatas,
    beorhte blisse.         Ws heora bld micel!


No, Amos. I could never insult you or any MOABite in such a manner!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 03:36 PM

A courtesy woould be the inclusion of synonyms in modern Anglo, old fruit.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 01:47 PM

Here are some, Bee-Dub:

blundra
drit
hggva
myki

and of course the ever-popular

viska


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 01:26 PM

Would that be learning New Chaucerian?** or learning Chaucerian words that are new?

but can one really say any Chaucerian words are "new"? Most of them are at least 600 years old, and given the changes that English has undergone, that is not very "new".


Or possibly might you mean learning Chaucerian words that are not in one's own vocabulary?






**as spoken by the Residents of New Chaucer?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 01:15 PM

Swyve thee, Amos! Thou knowst that others use measures that differ from ours! Should it not be "Ten Yards (Meters) Above Your Head"?

And thou hast also learned a new Chaucerian word!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 01:07 PM

Hell, back in the long-ago university days, I was so proficient at speaking in Chaucerian Middle English it was scary. I was voted "Most Likely Recite the Prologue to Canterbury Tales on His Deathbed". Would it be okay if I learned a new word in Old Norse instead?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 12:36 PM

I think we ought to have a "National Be Ten Yards Above Your Head " day, for those who don't get out often enough. And maybe a "ESP At Home Day" -- for those who ...well, you know who you are. And how about "Act Out a Past Life Day" for people like Little Hawk whose past lives are more interesting than their current ones? And "Learn a New Word in Chaucerian" for those with nothing better to do.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 12:31 PM

less then 200 posts to 16 thousand! Whodathunk those many moons and hundreds of thousands of words ago that the glory that is MOAB would arise?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 12:24 PM

Yes, Bunn, I have to admit to making up those holidays, though I've recently discovered that there really is an "iNTERNATIONAL tYPE wITH yOUR cAPS lOCK oN dAY", but its actual date of observance is July 1. But who cares? To paraphrasae Dick Van Dyke, "Every day's a 'oliday with MOAB, 'cos MOAB makes ya feel so grand!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 11:56 AM

I'm a happy purple wearer. It's my favourite colour - I LOVE it!

Of course, now we must have this poem.

Warning - When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple

By Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
and satin candles, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired
and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
and run my stick along the public railings
and make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
and pick the flowers in other people's gardens
and learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
and eat three pounds of sausages at a go
or only bread and pickles for a week
and hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
and pay our rent and not swear in the street
and set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 11:19 AM

I think BWL is making these days up. The real national/international xyw awareness/activity days are very rarely interesting. There's talk like a pirate day, and there's always a wind up the neighbors day, often disguised as the national holiday, celebrating a time you beat them up particularly*.
    It would explain why we're trying our best to come up with some better ones, but even so, they're just not going to hold their meaning without a critical mass of people to do so, and I don't think we're both a mass and critical at the same time all that often..


* Note to any US presidents reading this. It's just one day a year you're supposed to annoy the neighbors and/or former rulers. Given July 4 is connected with the British empire, that's us. You know, that quaint little place surrounding London. Actually, on second thoughts, Canada might be a better option....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 10:47 AM

Hi, Mom! Today is

National Purple Day!!!

Yes, it's that peculiar day when we applaud the color purple! It's the day when we express our appreciation for people who proudly proclaim their proclivity for purple apparel. It's a day to be impulsive and, perhaps, impetuous, not prudent or pusillanimous! Purchase a pair of purple pants and prance about like a prissy poppinjay! Not pink! Not puce! Not even pumpkin! Proper people prefer purple!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 10:25 AM

Did you run into any historians who are now Dean of Library in a conspicuous Texas university? Just wondering. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 09:30 AM

Oh Mom, poor Mom, I come back and everyone except me is ignoring you and I'm feeling so glum.

Ya know, Mom, contrary to what my postings were I found Seattle to be a nice city. One that I could actually live in, if I could afford it, which I can't because I give all my money away to the poor like you taught me to. I'd better get going because I have to go to work today so that I have money to give to that poor young widow lady who has to take in lots of boarders every night and who can't even afford any more clothes than a corset or a thin tee shirt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 10:32 PM

Blue skies are never seen in Seattle
And the hills're pretty hilly in Seattle
Like a wayward child growing up but pretty mild
Full of overcast and grays
Full of rain that lasts for days
Full of drizzle lasting years in Seattle
In Seattle...
In Seattle....


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