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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

JennyO 06 Nov 06 - 09:24 PM
JennyO 06 Nov 06 - 09:21 PM
Rapparee 06 Nov 06 - 09:18 PM
JennyO 06 Nov 06 - 09:12 PM
JennyO 06 Nov 06 - 09:09 PM
Rapparee 06 Nov 06 - 03:33 PM
Bunnahabhain 06 Nov 06 - 02:18 PM
Acme 06 Nov 06 - 02:11 PM
Bunnahabhain 06 Nov 06 - 10:53 AM
Rapparee 06 Nov 06 - 10:45 AM
Bunnahabhain 06 Nov 06 - 09:06 AM
Rapparee 06 Nov 06 - 08:33 AM
Rapparee 05 Nov 06 - 08:29 PM
Rapparee 05 Nov 06 - 06:37 PM
Acme 05 Nov 06 - 04:00 PM
Rapparee 05 Nov 06 - 03:30 PM
Acme 05 Nov 06 - 10:07 AM
Bunnahabhain 05 Nov 06 - 05:30 AM
Rapparee 05 Nov 06 - 12:28 AM
Rapparee 04 Nov 06 - 12:24 PM
rumanci 04 Nov 06 - 08:13 AM
Bunnahabhain 04 Nov 06 - 04:52 AM
Rapparee 03 Nov 06 - 05:09 PM
Rapparee 03 Nov 06 - 05:08 PM
Rapparee 03 Nov 06 - 05:02 PM
Bunnahabhain 03 Nov 06 - 04:04 PM
Acme 03 Nov 06 - 02:42 PM
Rapparee 03 Nov 06 - 01:07 PM
Acme 03 Nov 06 - 10:15 AM
Rapparee 03 Nov 06 - 09:05 AM
Bunnahabhain 03 Nov 06 - 05:59 AM
Rapparee 02 Nov 06 - 10:10 PM
Bunnahabhain 02 Nov 06 - 07:55 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 06 - 06:54 PM
Acme 02 Nov 06 - 06:42 PM
Amos 02 Nov 06 - 06:34 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 06 - 03:44 PM
Amos 02 Nov 06 - 12:41 PM
Acme 02 Nov 06 - 10:36 AM
Rapparee 02 Nov 06 - 09:37 AM
Amos 02 Nov 06 - 09:22 AM
Rapparee 02 Nov 06 - 09:07 AM
Amos 01 Nov 06 - 11:02 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 06 - 10:44 PM
Amos 01 Nov 06 - 10:39 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 06 - 10:33 PM
Amos 01 Nov 06 - 09:58 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 06 - 09:33 PM
Amos 01 Nov 06 - 07:47 PM
Bunnahabhain 01 Nov 06 - 06:12 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 09:24 PM

BetchA !!

Just washed my keyboard and can't do a thing with it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 09:21 PM

Yeah, does look a mite dangerous. Betchs don't get too many visitors down there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 09:18 PM

This picture is misidentified -- that's actually the entrance to my basement. It's actually kinda nice, once you finally get down there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 09:12 PM

I see they're doing Escher in Lego now!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 09:09 PM

Rapaire, does your basement look anything like this? I hope not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 03:33 PM

Lost my footing on the bottom two basement steps, ended up on my back. Nothing broken or bruised, but every muscle is stiff and hurtin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 02:18 PM

So long as it wasn't this, you'd need a duck-dog to land on at the bottom just to avoid breaking too many bones....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 02:11 PM

What stairs did you fall down, Rap? I don't suppose it was a cushy deeply-carpeted set where you could bounce a little and do no serious damage?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 10:53 AM

Well I suppose that's the National Enquirer for you, never letting an incovienent death stand in the way of a good story.

You learn something new every day. I wish todays thing was more useful....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 10:45 AM

Man, even in the Wild Highlands you gotta know Minnie Pearl! And as for what Tweed get up to all the time, well, usually when he's not in jail he's drunk. Khandu, on the other hand, does just the oppostie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 09:06 AM

Would this make more sense if I knew who Minnie Pearl is, or what Tweed gets up the rest of the time, or anything in fact?

There is, of course, the very strong possibility that I really don't want to know, and making sense is vastly over-rated at the best of times...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 08:33 AM

Well, Mom, here's another day when you're supported by those who really care about you. Stilly's got a scraped knee and Bunn fell down during a sword dance and ended up cutting himself and I fell down the steps but we're still here with you. Even Rumanci's around somewhere. Of course, Khandu and Tweed have both pretty much left home and never ever write even though you'd think that they could spare some spare change for a stamp, seeing as how they're big and successful in Nashville, singing with Garth Brooks and hobnobbing with Travis Tritt and people like that.

Do you know who Tweed has been linked romantically with, according to the "National Globe And Inquirer", Mom? You'll never in your life guess! None other than Minnie Pearl, that's who! Yes, yes, I know. Take some deep breaths and go to your "happy place." That's good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 08:29 PM

Amos better bring us all presents, that's all I gotta say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 06:37 PM

Mom, I think Amos has been trying to write his name in the snow again, only there isn't any snow at Getaway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 04:00 PM

We have a lot of them here also. They seem to sneak in. I swapped out on in my bedroom because sometimes I work on projects (tiling, sewing, etc.) where I want to listen to something, maybe glance up occasionally. That tv is small enough to get moved to wherever I'm doing that work. And sometimes at night I listen to a few minutes of Charlie Rose before I go to sleep. The rest of them, well, the living room one is the one I watch most often, if I watch (I'm a radio person primarily). The front room is where the tv from my Dad's house is, and my son prefers that one. There is a little battery radio/tv in my office for storms, and a little LDC tiny one in the kitchen for storms. And there are some little battery operated ones in three other rooms. Then there is the garage sale color tv in my son's room for his video games, and the little 13" one that was in my daughter's room but now it's in my office because I decided I wanted to watch an old movie (I ran the coaxial cable from the front room VCR) while I did some filing in here. That doesn't count the computers that can play DVD. . .

All of this video power, and I listen to the radio most of the time. I think I've identified a couple of garage sale items.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 03:30 PM

Well, it ain't happened yet. But I oiled up the Tommy gun and got two magazines all loaded up just in case.

Bout two TVs this week. This makes four in a house with two people who watch MAYBE four hours per week. One, an LCD, is in Pat's office and the other is going into the Sun Room in the basement.

There is no TV in our living room or in my office. Awful stuff, that TV.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 10:07 AM

Hey MOM, sorry I wasn't around but I was busy yesterday. I was at Home Depot (not the natural home of organic gardening) and found a couple of trees I've wanted for my yard, so I brought them home and planted them right away. What trees, you ask? They're Italian Stone Pine, one that is well suited to my soil and climate, better than about any other pine. At HD they're labeled "live christmas trees" and pruned into the silliest conical shape, but they'll recover after a year or so. Anyway, I got the extra dirt out of the pot and unwrapped the roots and planted them. And then I saw a pickup pull into the woods across the street from me, and a couple of minutes later, I heard a chain saw start up!

I picked up my camera and phone and headed across the road. I snuck around to the side of these guys, a man and his two teen-aged sons (apparently) and I took a couple of photos, then walked out into the open and asked what they thought they were doing. They were gathering dead down wood, but they were in a park where no one is supposed to do that. It's part of the natural understory that breaks down, and I told him so. The man got ugly--"I know what you are, you're a goddam Democrat!" You can guess what my answer was regarding his politics, and MOM, I did use the "F" word. But then, I stood behind his pickup about 20' back, and since his tailgate was down, I squatted and took a photo of his pickup, then I walked away. "Who gave you permission to take a photo of my truck?" he shouted. I told him to call the sheriff to complain. "No, never mind. I'll call the sheriff and complain," I told him. He tossed his stuff in his truck and drove out of the park just a minute or so behind my hasty exit. He was still shouting as he drove off. And I have a crystal clear photo of his license. I'll call the village Monday and ask what their policy is on collecting wood in the park. Maybe they don't care. But as long as I can fake them out, I will. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 05:30 AM

Don't wory, it happened here instead. I had 4 Aberdonians descend on me unexpectedly last night. They were guided here by the one expected one, but even so, that's your bad event...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 12:28 AM

Well, Mom, it's powerful quiet around here. Too quiet, if you get my drift. Somethin's gonna happen, I kin feel it in my bones. I think I'll go loosen the sword in its scabbard and load a couple magazines for the Tommy gun. Just in case, ya know. Don't worry, I won't load the chopper; just fill a couple mags.

It's just too quiet...too damned quiet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 06 - 12:24 PM

Dang near everyone is out of town, I guess. Even the Legion Hovel is mostly empty, but that's because they're all at Toenail-Eatin' Jake's political rally up in Potosi Gulch.

Jake's running for Guvner (as he spells it) on the Party ticket. It's called that because nobody could make up their minds on what to call the group. Jake's platform revolves mostly around free sandwiches when you "buy a free beer" and shipping all of Idaho's unused chicken manure to California "where they're used to a lot of that kind of thing."

They must have had a pretty good rally last night, because this morning's news mentioned that the Idaho State Police SWAT Team attended in full battle gear.

The State's political pundits give Jake's chance to be Governor exactly the same odds as those of Lord North, Osama bin Laden, Robespierre, and Jenghis Khan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 04 Nov 06 - 08:13 AM

Hi Mom
I've brought you some nourishing broth
to get you up and at the clan

full of good stuff
like this thread of yours

Rise and SHINE Mom


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 04 Nov 06 - 04:52 AM

Down in the depths again, what are we to do,
but raise you with Eighty one Eighty two?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 06 - 05:09 PM

8181.

Again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 06 - 05:08 PM

One.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 06 - 05:02 PM

Gluon was feeding in NK a couple weeks ago. He was underground and had, well, he was flautulent....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 03 Nov 06 - 04:04 PM

Gluon was in North Korea a few weeks ago? Someone feed him up quick, so he doesn't feel the need to wander off so far again. He'll only cause more trouble....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Nov 06 - 02:42 PM

WHoa! Look at what Mom found under Amos' bed! I bet he was going to send it to Rapaire for christmas. I hate to spoil the surprise, but he should have hidden it better. She didn't have to pry up many floor boards before she found it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 06 - 01:07 PM

I hope she doesn't just sort of bunch it up and throw it in the washer.
Amos did THAT a couple years ago when he tried to wash out where Gluon had thrown up on his bed, and between Gluon's "ejecta" and the Pu-239 dust from Amos's little projects he managed to reach critical mass. It wasn't much, as nuclear explosions go, but the US Geologic Survey is still wondering where the town went.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Nov 06 - 10:15 AM

I bet MOM is going to spend the weekend finally cleaning out Amos' room. Get a broom under the bed to evict the dust kittens and sweep up all of the electronic bits, wires, chips, fragments of old projects, spare particles and unused neurons bouncing around in his closet. And that spot on the bed where Gluon sleeps--that bedspread HAS to go in the laundry with her atomic power detergent! I hope she remembers to hang it out to dry on the clothes line. We don't want a repeat of what happened the last time when she forgot and put that coverlet in the dryer. The fire department hasn't stopped talking about it, and I think they run fundraising tours past the place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 06 - 09:05 AM

No, thanks. I've had tea; I'll make coffee when I get to work. I'm off to see an early-morning sale I promised my wife I'd go to so she could sleep in.

(Gad, but I'm a loving husband!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 03 Nov 06 - 05:59 AM

I'd best make you some coffee too, to wake you up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 06 - 10:10 PM

For those at Getaway:

CHESAPEAKE MORNING
Steve Romanoff
c1990

        Wake up, it's a Chesapeake morning!
        Have you ever seen something so new?
        Wake up, it's a Chesapeake mornin',
        There's so much we've been meanin' to do,
        So wake up, it's a Chesapeake mornin',
        Let's tell all of the neighborhood too,
        Wake up to this Chesapeake mornin',
        And if we see the whole mornin' through,
        We'll wake up to more Chesapeake mornin's
        And see all of our Chesapeake daydreams come true.

From the Cumberland hills to Solomon's shore
There's a Chesapeake sunrise outside your front door;
And its promise will wake you like never before.
Can you hear the alarm 'cause it's time to

        Chorus

We could work through the cities and farms on our way
To where the beautiful swimmers and waterbirds play;
'Til there's nothin' at all between us and the Bay.
It's so good we decided today to

        Chorus


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 02 Nov 06 - 07:55 PM

I though you got crabs from the Chesepeke (Sp?). I don't want to know what you're getting from Maryland...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 06 - 06:54 PM

Well, you can get crabs in Maryland....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Nov 06 - 06:42 PM

Maybe the pipes in question have a lot of "threads?" It's in the name. Maybe Google is tweeked just a tad too tight right now.

Amos, have fun. Bring something back for us.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 06 - 06:34 PM

Humph. I knew it. Half off the page with her relevancy trailing in the breeze and her precious validity exposed for just anyone to peek at. Tell ya what, Mom, why'ncha dip into the trust fund Dad left you and come to the Getaway with me?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 06 - 03:44 PM

'S okay, Mom. SRS and I will be here, and so will Bunn, to pat your withered old hand and soothe your fevered brow. And who knows? Maybe others will drop in from time to time to cheer you while Amos is off "cutting a rug" and doing all sorts of wild stuff on the Eastern Shore, drinking rotgut booze and cavorting with floozies and zoot-suiters.






Ya know, Mom, I'd still like to know why the bottomads are for polybutylene pipe and "east lay insulated pipe".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 06 - 12:41 PM

Reckon you better come on down and scout the ground for 'em, so they don't get bushwhacked by Red Thunder Bird or any of his cousins. This is still the a-little-bit-wild West.

BTW don't you owe me a PM or somp'n?

Anyway, Mom, I am off to the Wilde Bleue in a big metal bird this afternoon, and will arrive in BWI at 0530 local tomorrow morning. So I abjure all irresponsibilities until I return late Monday. I am Getawaying. I entrust you to the sobersided stay-at-home skills of my dear siblings who will, I know, take the very best care of you until I return to apply first aid and straighten things out.

Love,


Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Nov 06 - 10:36 AM

Refreshing! And I paced myself while I read it so I didn't pass out or hyperventilate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 06 - 09:37 AM

Oh hell, Amos. The boys just wanted an excuse to go to SoCal, assuming that they make it out of town at all. They're easily sidetracked by others guys like Jack Daniels and Jim Beam.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 06 - 09:22 AM

Ya know, Rapaire, the self-offense always speaks loudest in accusation. If you look at the recent posts you will find NONE in which I say anything about non-attribution. So perhaps your string of epithets (inclusing that very obscure one about hats and beds) is better suited for mirror-talk. I just said you were a better bottom reader.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 06 - 09:07 AM

The very IDEA that I would post something without attribution!

I am offended, sir, deeply offended.

I would have my friends call upon you if I had any. Instead, I have given your name and address to three members of the Legion (Larry, Moe, and Steeple Sam The Big Tall Man) and they will demand satisfaction, if they ever get that far. If they do finally find you and cannot get satisfaction they would post you as an arrant coward and knave, bald-faced liar, a low-down bushwhacking rattlesnake, and someone who tosses his hat on a bed if they were literate and could remember to do so.

(Why is there an ad for polybutylene pipe and no-dig pipe lining at the bottom? I no longer smoke a pipe or anything else.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 06 - 11:02 PM

Thanks for reading it to me. You were always a better bottom reader than I was. Taking those home correspondence courses in Braille and How To Pick Up Anyone.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 06 - 10:44 PM

Well, it says so at the bottom....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 06 - 10:39 PM

I bet that was written by H. Hahn. Am I right?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 06 - 10:33 PM

Unix Sysadmin:

I am the very model of a modern Unix Sysadmin,
I've information relevant to programs in slash usr bin,
I know the tricks of emacs and the vi bugs historical,
From a to ZZ upper case, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted too with matters of the interface,
I understand commands of pine, and how they hurt the human race.
About the pico editor I'm teeming with a lot o' bosh ?
With many cheerful facts of how it's dumber than a Macintosh.

Everyone:

With many cheerful facts of how it's dumber than a Macintosh.

Unix Sysadmin:

I'm very good at showing users how to pick the best of tools,
I know I should avoid the nerds who hang out in the vestibules;
In short, in matters relevant to programs in slash usr bin,
I am the very model of a modern Unix Sysadmin.

Everyone:

In short, in matters relevant to programs in slash usr bin,
He is the very model of a modern Unix Sysadmin.


                        -- Harley Hahn


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 06 - 09:58 PM

That;s nothing he wrote -- there's not a sign of a Col O'Troof anywhere in it. I think it was written by Major Cointreau L. Issue.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 06 - 09:33 PM

1. To take charge of this post and all government property in view.

2. To walk my post in a military manner, keeping always on then alert and observing everything that takes place within sight or hearing.

3. To report all violations of orders I am instructed to enforce.

4. To repeat all calls from posts more distant from the guardhouse than my own.

5. To quit my post only when properly relieved.

6. To receive, obey, and pass on the sentry who relieves me, all orders from the commanding officer, officer of the day, and officers and noncommissioned officers of the guard only.

7. To talk to no one except in line of duty.

8. To give the alarm in case of fire or disorder.

9. To call the corporal of the guard in any case not covered by instructions.

10. To salute all officers and all colors and standards not cased.

11. To be especially watchful at night and, during the time for challenging, to challenge all persons on or near my post and to allow no one to pass without proper authority.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 06 - 07:47 PM

Hey, who you talkin' bout. I'm a Yank an' never been in da Army.

I think there's a Colonel O'Troof in the Legionnaires, but he's been wasted so long it looks like up to him.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 01 Nov 06 - 06:12 PM

An English major is a terrible thing to waste. It could so easily be something useful, such as a Gilbert and Sulliven lead character, but no, he is doing something vital, and keeps mom going....


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