BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 11:38 AM

Now that William Shatner has personally blessed this thread by posting on the 38,000th post, I predict that this thread will go on to achieve ever greater accomplishments in spectacular BS and will one day reach 500,000 posts! On that day, Amos will wear a pink tutu and perform as the heroine in an amature production of Swan Lake in Schenectady, New York, the Moon will turn blue, and Woody Allen will finally STOP getting psychoanalysis!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 11:25 AM

I don't think we've ever heard so many of Little Hawk's voices speaking so closely to each other. This worries me, because there is a possibility that this acceleration could ultimately result in a Singularity and I am not placing any bets on the Who that will be left standing.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 11:14 AM

Wow! That's all I have to say. Wow!!!

Eiseley

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 10:50 AM

Thank you, thank you. (big smile)

Please throw money, not underwear.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 10:41 AM

Will the puppetmaster please stand and take a bow?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 10:39 AM

Jimmy Lee Staggers - "Y'all have forsaken The Way, The Truth, and The Light for sins of the flesh and for momentary pleasures of This World."

Hmm. Well, this bozo has me figgered out, that's for sure! Maybe he's onto somethin'. Tell ya what, Jimmy Lee...I'll convert 10 seconds before I check out, okay? That way I can have all that fun and still be covered. If it don't work out, them hell demons have got a few surprises comin' cos I am bringin' the tommy gun with me when I cross over.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 10:26 AM

Is this "Jimmie Lee Staggers" of good genetic stock? We need DNA strands to suck off the wonderful dish we learned from you and which you call "pizza."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Reverend Jimmy Lee Staggers
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 10:24 AM

Y'all are all damned! You're all going to burn in the Eternal Fire Which Cannot Be Quenched! Y'all have forsaken The Way, The Truth, and The Light for sins of the flesh and for momentary pleasures of This World. Come the Rupture, y'all will not be taken up but will instead have to face the Tribulation, and y'all will die and be cast into The Pit. Demons will eat your insides and then spit them out again, in one of them eternal cycles of punishment. Yea, this generation shall pass unto the Flames Eternal! There is a faint hope for you, but you must do a Jesus commanded: sell all you have and give it to this Church. Amen.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 10:11 AM

38,000!

Thank you. Thank you very much.

- William Shatner

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Wilfred Penifere
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 10:10 AM

What....what's that rumbling sound???!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Veronica Rutledge
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 10:09 AM

Oh, be quiet, you silly ape.

- Veronica

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 10:08 AM

Too many damned Limeys here this morning. They talk like their mouths are full of mashed potatoes.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mrs Olive Whatnoll
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 10:07 AM

Wot the bleedin' 'ell do you lot know about it???

- Olive Whatnoll

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 10:06 AM

Some entire lives are a waste of time.

* PR

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 10:05 AM

What the flip! Is this flippin' thread still goin'? What the flip FOR? Talk about a waste of flippin' TIME!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 10:04 AM

Should I spare a moment from my busy day and offer a bit of sage advice and a benediction?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 10:03 AM

The tension rises as the moment nears!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 11:14 PM

Whudda concepp.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 11:01 PM

Maybe Shame will come!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 10:59 PM

I already took the roof off once in this decade.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 09:22 PM

We-uns kin have one a them Texas barby-cues. Where ya dig a big ol' hole in the ground and build a big ol' fahr and then cook a whole cow long with a big ol' potta beans. Wash 'er all down with Lone Star, too.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 07:33 PM

"up to code"?

I would offer my services as a building inspector but you wouldn't want that as I am an honest man.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 07:21 PM

Here's doowop accompaniment for the dancin'.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 06:19 PM

Drinks for the house!!! Tear down the walls!!! Kick out the jams!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 05:28 PM

Oh, wouldn't that be fun!! Something to look forward to, definitely. Thank you, Ma'am!

Eiseley

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 05:13 PM

There's a ordinance on roof removal?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 05:11 PM

All I ask of Amos' redecorating is that they be visible, paid for, and up to code. . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 05:10 PM

I think it's a splendid idea if Eiseley comes down here to celebrate graduation, initiation, inundation, whatever the school and organization can manage. And there is room for other MOABites. When I run out of beds I have a cot, pallets, sleeping bags, couches, etc.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 04:11 PM

We all chew tobacco in Muskogee;
We all ride the rods on the old Katy
We don't like them scabs out on Main Street;
We like livin' right, and bein' free.

CHORUS: I'm proud to be an folky from Muskogee,
A place where banjo players have a ball
We still sing "Union Maid" down at the taverns,
And rememberin' the words is the biggest thrill of all.

We don't make a party out of lovin';
'Cuz we ain't had a bath since around ought two;
We all let our hair grow long and shaggy,
Like all the old-time Wobblies used to do.

(CHORUS)

Steel-toed boots are still in style for manly footwear;
You never know who you might have to stomp.
And a feller will still let you use his capo,
As long as you don't toss it in the dump.

We still play the banjo in the evenings,
In Muskogee, Oklahoma, USA.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 02:01 PM

To be distinguished from the distinguished veterinary science organization, Bitta Fly Moo.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 01:54 PM

I dunno about that "Aliis inserviendo consumor " bit. I'm all for service but I would prefer to see Eiseley remain.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 01:50 PM

With all due restraint, I should note that I did not announce my capture of 37973, a palindrome. Spun it becomes Ɛㄥ6ㄥƐ, which is an indelicate word in Ancient Corinthian Attic Plattgreek.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 01:47 PM

Having let the cat out of the bag, so to speak, there is only one possible group Eiseley could join. No, it's not I Phelta Thi or Tappa Kegga Beer, it's the UNT chapter of ΒΦΜ.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 01:00 PM

"Tell! Tell! Tell! Ark!"

(Damn crows!)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 12:23 PM

Cheers and brava, thou scholarly wench!! Good on ya.

I am all for a party at Stilly's. We could rework her house for her. There's a precedent...


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 10:53 AM

I think that when she graduates next May we should all go the Stilly's place and help her celebrate (Eiseley, not Stilly). What a great idea for a party, assuming the cops cooperate. Bee-Dubya could bring the pot, too. Why, we could invite George and Laura!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 10:51 AM

An ancient, (by his own admission: see the preceding post) curmudgeon of my acquaintance urged me to join the fellowship of a Greek society to which I have been invited. I can't remember exactly what the letters are, but it may have been I Eta Pi. As soon as my new checks arrive by mail, I shall write out the edict to pay my initiation fee to this society and thereby join. I had better do it quickly in case this semester's grades prove less than what they have been previously.

Eiseley

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 10:47 AM

Just now, it is raining and chilly here, and it feels more like an October group.

But I would like to know about Eiseley's invitation.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 10:38 AM

You sound like the crow outside on the golf course: "TELL! TELL! TELL! AWkk...what does 'Fore' mean again?"

I was invited to join a special august body once, only it WAS August and too hot and sweaty for much joining of anything. That was back before air conditioning, during the last Great Planetary Warm-Up. I pret near got eaten by a Utahraptor, even right there in Illinois. I think the poor critter was lost. Anyway, we all came out okay and we even put the Uraptor on a train back to Salt Lake City. Town was smaller then, what with being at the bottom of Lake Bonneville and all.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 10:23 AM

Tell! Tell!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 01:36 AM

Reading it helps - this one takes several passes through and a lot of thought. It's beautiful. Thanks, Eiseley.

A little bird told me you're invited to join an august group. One that doesn't go anywhere near the Legion Hall.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 03:25 PM

Another version. Both seem to fit the death of a friend, I think. I know of nothing harder to bear. It's what brought me to MOM in the first place.

Eiseley

Hallelujah


I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
Well, it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Well, your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Well, baby, I've been here before.
I've seen this room, and I've walked this floor.
I used to live alone before I knew you.
But I've seen your flag on the marble arch,
And love is not a victory march,
It's a cold and it is a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Well, there was a time when you'd let me know
What's really going on below,
But now you never show that to me, do you?
But remember when I moved in you,
And the Holy Ghost was moving too,
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Well, maybe there is a God above,
But all that I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you.
It's not a cry that you hear at night,
And it is not somebody who has seen the light
It's a cold and it is a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 03:20 PM

Hallelujah

Now I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though
It all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Leonard Cohen

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 12:33 PM

Most of the Legionnaires and Legionnettes are into oceans, but of beer and things. However, many also actually care about water (as a mixer if nothing else). I'll ask for a moment of silent remembrance and then a rousing toast to his memory. He sounds like he would have fit right in.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 11:32 AM

Wow.

KD always surprises me.


Thanks, Maggie!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 02:59 AM

At the end of a murder mystery repeat this evening, one I don't watch often but an episode I'd seen before, they played k.d. lang's version of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah. That's a great somber and beautiful song that I'll have to read the words to, as a poem, to get the full meaning as I listen to it next time. In this performance, Cohen was in the audience.

Don't know if the meaning of this is applicable to the loss of a friend, but it just sounds right on a visceral level.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 12:07 AM

Thanks all of you. Tell the guys at the Hovel. In case any of them were into ocans like....


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 08:21 PM

Nice!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 01:15 PM

Peter Niiler was a physical oceanographer who became world renowned for his many years' programme of developing and deploying a world-wide population of drifter bouys. He was, consequently, a world-class authority on ocean currents and contributed significant original and valuable knowledge to the field.

A short article about him.

He was Estonian by birth. The night before he died suddenly and unexpectedly, he was dancing and singing at home. Opera. In Estonian. Waving a large leaf from one of the many tropical trees in his courtyard. No, really! He was unique among men, a wag and a brilliant thinker. He was much loved.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 12:14 PM

Well Amos, now he knows the secrets of the briny deep. And I'm not being facetious. I'm certain this has left a large gap in the lives of many people.