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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 06 Oct 18 - 09:32 PM
keberoxu 06 Oct 18 - 07:25 PM
keberoxu 06 Oct 18 - 02:37 PM
Little Hawk 06 Oct 18 - 11:05 AM
Stilly River Sage 06 Oct 18 - 10:41 AM
Rapparee 05 Oct 18 - 11:05 PM
Little Hawk 05 Oct 18 - 08:31 PM
Little Hawk 05 Oct 18 - 08:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Oct 18 - 08:05 PM
Rapparee 05 Oct 18 - 04:34 PM
Amos 05 Oct 18 - 09:25 AM
Little Hawk 04 Oct 18 - 11:00 PM
Amos 04 Oct 18 - 10:48 PM
gnu 04 Oct 18 - 09:02 PM
Rapparee 04 Oct 18 - 09:01 PM
Little Hawk 04 Oct 18 - 05:53 PM
Donuel 04 Oct 18 - 03:26 PM
Donuel 04 Oct 18 - 03:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Oct 18 - 01:37 PM
Little Hawk 04 Oct 18 - 01:16 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Oct 18 - 12:49 PM
Donuel 04 Oct 18 - 11:12 AM
Little Hawk 04 Oct 18 - 10:59 AM
Donuel 04 Oct 18 - 10:46 AM
Stilly River Sage 04 Oct 18 - 10:36 AM
Rapparee 03 Oct 18 - 10:51 PM
Donuel 03 Oct 18 - 10:14 PM
Rapparee 03 Oct 18 - 09:06 PM
Little Hawk 03 Oct 18 - 08:50 PM
Little Hawk 03 Oct 18 - 08:19 PM
Donuel 03 Oct 18 - 03:15 PM
Donuel 03 Oct 18 - 02:40 PM
Amos 03 Oct 18 - 02:00 PM
Rapparee 03 Oct 18 - 01:48 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Oct 18 - 01:04 PM
Stilly River Sage 03 Oct 18 - 11:44 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Oct 18 - 11:34 AM
Donuel 03 Oct 18 - 11:11 AM
Rapparee 03 Oct 18 - 10:34 AM
Donuel 03 Oct 18 - 09:40 AM
Little Hawk 03 Oct 18 - 12:31 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Oct 18 - 08:46 PM
Stilly River Sage 02 Oct 18 - 10:34 AM
Donuel 02 Oct 18 - 08:55 AM
Stilly River Sage 01 Oct 18 - 09:41 PM
Rapparee 01 Oct 18 - 08:05 PM
Rapparee 01 Oct 18 - 01:26 PM
keberoxu 01 Oct 18 - 12:40 PM
Stilly River Sage 01 Oct 18 - 12:38 PM
Little Hawk 30 Sep 18 - 11:52 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 18 - 09:32 PM

CHONGO CHIMP DISAPPEARS
(Chicago Tribune, October 6, 2018, p. 17)

Chicago, Oct 5, 2018 (AP): Chongo Chimp, well-known and nefarious denizen of the South Side, disappeared today while visiting his proctologist's office.

Mr. Chimp was, according to Dr. Weil Lokup, undergoing an enema treatment for constipation. "My nurse and I left the room, while the enema was running. Ever since [Mr. Chimp's] first visit, neither of us have never been in the examination room. But when we returned a very few minutes later, our patient had disappeared entirely. There was only a basin full of the most disgusting fluid I have seen in my forty years of proctology. Mr. Chimp's hat was floating on top. He could not have left, as it is a windowless room."

Police are investigating.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 06 Oct 18 - 07:25 PM

I can't really argue with gnu's opinion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 06 Oct 18 - 02:37 PM

Page number 1160 ...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Oct 18 - 11:05 AM

He tolerates smartphones and is moderately interested in Twitter...so he tells me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Oct 18 - 10:41 AM

Do we know Chongo's attitude towards smart phones and Twitter?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 11:05 PM

I had a colonoscopy about 6 weeks back. I have been purged. Chumpchimp cannot be purged, for it would vanish entirely.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 08:31 PM

Yea, and there will be weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth as you are cast into the outer darkness! Verily and forsooth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 08:27 PM

After he is elected, you will all be purged.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 08:05 PM

In previous election cycles, Chongo's proclivity for poop-flinging has been detrimental to his campaign. However, given that the current resident of The White House shares that proclivity, the public has become somewhat inured to seeing shit thrown about the halls of power during fits of presidential pique.

All Chongo would need to work on would be his ability to fling poop by Twitter as well as he already does in 3D.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 04:34 PM

You forgot feces-flinging, Amos. Also noxious, putrid, moldering, feculent, squalid, odious, malodorous, contemptible, and nauseating.
Chumpchimp has its good points, however, for without it many fleas and untold numbers of lice would be without a home.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 09:25 AM

Wht's sad is the super-dense wilful obliviousness with which Chongo refuses to face up to the enormity of his sins against his poor little sister and his aged, infirm mother, abandoned to their own devices lo, these many years past in the jungles of Uganda. THAT's what's sad!

He will pay the piper someday for his callous cruelty. Just you wait and see.

And now that Chinga has become a successful madame of a growing simian prostitution ring, with flourishing branch offices in Chicago, San Francisco, New York and Pocatello, Idaho, she will have the means to exact her pound of stinking, flea-infested, filth-laden, whiskey-soaked, cigar-stinking ,furry flesh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Oct 18 - 11:00 PM

Heh! Heh! I do find much amusement in these lurid tales Rapparee makes up about the noble Chongo. Florid stuff indeed. He has missed his calling. He should have become a writer of pulp fiction in its glory days back in the 1950's and early 60's. Oh, what the world has missed! It's kind of sad, really.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Oct 18 - 10:48 PM

One of these days Chinga's intell network will find out where Chongo's secret hideout is, and... well, talk about flying monkeys? You ain't seen nothing yet!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Oct 18 - 09:02 PM

Seems like yer all goin' apeshit these days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 18 - 09:01 PM

Judged by his actions the Chumpchimp (I shall refer to he/she/it by that term) is an astonishingly bad piece of maladroit...well, I shan't finish that thought. Chumpchimp sold her/his twin sister AND mother into a Life of Shame to pay for a gender-change operation and to be smuggled in a load of bananas to the port of New York. Chumpchimp's poor mother died of heartbreak to think that her offspring would do such a thing; sister Chinga did her best for her poor mother but she, too, was shocked by the crass and evil (there is no other word) actions of her sibling. Years later she told a reporter in an interview for Paris-Match how she held her dying mother in her arms and of her mother's last words, "Daughter, never forget what has been done to us. Revenge me, revenge yourself. No one else will. I forgive you for it, and I hope that YOU can forgive me for bringing such a monster into the world." Chinga went on in the only work she knew and after grueling work now owns the world's largest (and poshest) chain of bordellos in the world. Her underworld and overworld connections make it certain that someday, perhaps soon, her sibling will be hung up by an 'added member' and used as first a piñata, then a target, and finally as the main dish for a bushmeat barbecue. At least, that was her last plan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Oct 18 - 05:53 PM

Chongo is NOT sexist! Far from it. He is courteous and respectful to women. He is merciless to those who would dare to abuse women, verbally or physically. He is a true gentleman. The fact that he uses old 1940's style jargon such as "dame" or "skirt" does not change that one iota. You should judge a Chimp by his *actions*, not by what accustomed cultural dialect he uses.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Oct 18 - 03:26 PM

https://www.oratium.com/chimps-and-presidential-candidatescloser-than-you-think/


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Oct 18 - 03:21 PM

Damn why couldn't I have thought of that

come to think of it, why did you think of that?

How is a sexist pig worse than a sexist Chimp?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Oct 18 - 01:37 PM

And if Chongo were President now, we wouldn't have all this controversy about a sexist pig being nominated to the Supreme Court.

Chongo would have nominated a dame, a broad, or a skirt for the job.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Oct 18 - 01:16 PM

Now yer talkin'!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Oct 18 - 12:49 PM

If Mr. Trump's hair, which is obviously a transplant from a Sumatran Orangutan, can make it to The White House, I don't gee any reason why an entire chimpanzee can't do the same.





Chongo in 2020!!!

OOK-OOK!!! EEK-EEK!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Oct 18 - 11:12 AM

LH That is impossible unconstitutional, unlawful, preposurous and covfefe.
Take the seat on the bench and be happy.
A quantum random event like Donald can not possibly strike twice/


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Oct 18 - 10:59 AM

The Supreme Court is simply not big enough or important enough to contain Chongo Chimp. It's beneath him. Only the top office in the land will do.

I could say the same thing about William Shatner. But I won't. :D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Oct 18 - 10:46 AM

Unlike every other position in government a Supreme Court Justice HAS NO AGE LIMITS AT ALL In fact there is no mention of species or age requirements in the Constitution for a Supreme judge.

So even if Chongo is only 10 years old he is good to go.

Please do not notify a republican think tank of this factor.

Rap I was poking the bear


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Oct 18 - 10:36 AM

I hear that standards have dropped and Chongo might be eligible for a life appointment on the US Supreme Court.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 18 - 10:51 PM

No, not me. It was one of the many, many gifts of Chongx to the world.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Oct 18 - 10:14 PM

Don't stop there, tell us about the Belgium doctor contracted to produce vaccine but he used chimp kidneys and was the primary cause of introducing humans to a new retro virus called AIDS.

Sorry to hear about your pubic chimp lice.

Get well soon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 18 - 09:06 PM

Chongx's blood. Chimpanzees (Pan Troglodytes)have probably (probability +90%) spread Ebola, paralytic poliomyelitis, yaws, pubic lice, the chickenpox/shingles virus, tuberculosis, HIV, hepatitis, cerebral infarction, pulmonary atherosclerosis, and anthrax to humans (Homo Sapiens) over the years. The original strain of yaws evolved into syphilis. They are also the "primary engine" behind the building resistance of disease to antibiotics, including clindomycin, penicillin, and many others.

This is not "specism" but documented fact, including studies by the World Health Organization, the Centers of Disease Control, Canadian National Institute of Health, Robert Koch-Instituts, Santé publique France, Inserm, ??????????, and many others. These are calling for the quarantine of all chimpanzees in a fenced and patrolled reservation in Africa operated under the aegis of WHO.

Blood? Hemorrhagic fever! Chongx is nothing but a bloated bladder of disease!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Oct 18 - 08:50 PM

As for Rap being an "overheated gas molecule"...well, no...what Chongo describes him as is an overheated gasbag. It's quite a bit larger than a molecule.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Oct 18 - 08:19 PM

Chongo is every bit as upset about specism as you are, Donuel, and he intends to do something about it just as soon as he takes power in Washington. And I'm not talking about half-measures here. Oh, no. There will be blood.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Oct 18 - 03:15 PM

That reminds me, Today after 55 years an American woman won a Nobel Prize. She won for laser Physics.
Donald says "big deal she probably uses it for her cats to chase it around the room".


I'll point it if she turns it on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Oct 18 - 02:40 PM

I wouldn't carbon date Rap if I were you.


IMO Germany/Hitler would have had the bomb first if it were not for strategic sabotage on a number of fronts. The Nazi racism policy created its own downfall.

For example 1/3 of all Nobel Prizes won by Americans came from immigrants. Under Trump what would you expect to happen?

Oh Ow ow Mom, MOM! that hurts Yes I know I promised but ow


jeesh


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Oct 18 - 02:00 PM

The notion of Rapparee becoming an overheated gas molecule is charming, not because it is novel, but because it brings to light the uncharitable thought that so many have harbored secretly for so very long. This serves as a Public Good by relieving the population at large of a dark secret they can finally let go of.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 18 - 01:48 PM

The “Atomic Age” was born at the U. Of Chicago on Dec. 2, 1942.

It has finally rained and you can’t breathe without taking in lungs full of (c4S,4aS,8aR)-4,8a-Dimethyl-1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8-octahydronaphthalen-4a-ol.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Oct 18 - 01:04 PM

...which leads one to ponder exactly what dogs chewed on prior to the widespread use of plastic containers. Most of the containers plastics replaced were not chewable. I've never seen a dog chew on a glass soft-drink bottle.

I've heard tell of dogs fetching sticks, but have never actually seen one do so. Mine always seems to fetch Frisbies, store bought dog toys, plastic milk jugs, and the occasional wayward grandchild.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Oct 18 - 11:44 AM

Archaeologists use the post-atomic bomb line to date things. The archaeological work I'm doing in my yard right now is to assemble a collection of no-longer-recognizable items the dogs have chewed to pieces to put together an exhibit. There won't be carbon-dating because most of these things are plastic items that wouldn't have been made of plastic before the time of the atomic bombs and nuclear testing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Oct 18 - 11:34 AM

Seen on a billboard recently:

Bob's Septic Service

Call us when fecal matters!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Oct 18 - 11:11 AM

post mad hatter president and pre perimeter Acheson speech

You are pre atomic age and I am post


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 18 - 10:34 AM

I was born post-Stagg Field but pre-Trinity.

A neighbor took LH's suggestions. Now he hangs from a tree with a banana up his...well, it's not how bananas are usually consumed. He took to shouting "OOK! OOK! EEK!" while flinging his feces. Something had to be done, and when gentle remonstrances failed he was regulated. You see, when he started fecalflinging everyone thought he was planning a career in politics....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Oct 18 - 09:40 AM

Ah Specisism. How close you are to racism. We could someday have make fun of ............. day. Trump has filled in the blank already with cerebral palsy, women victims, nationality, little people, Down Syndrome, Evil con men democrats, media...
actually we already have right here - 'make fun of facts day'

"Ow Ow Ow comon MOM cut it out, OK oK I'll stop it."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Oct 18 - 12:31 AM

Another way you can help pass yourself off as an ape is to wear well used black or brown leather gloves on your feet. It gives the impression of ape feet very nicely. Combine this with the traditional arm motions, capering about, scratching, examining others for fleas and ticks, and uttering "OOK! EEK!" frequently and you can really bring out your inner Chimp in a convincing manner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Oct 18 - 08:46 PM

I was supposed to be one of the space-chimps who were sent into space before Alan Shepard's first manned flight. My parents volunteered me for the program. It took the folks at NASA three months to figure out that what they had was not a chimpanzee, but a ten year old boy with big ears and a fondness for saying "Ook-ook! Eek-eek!" (the result of watching too many old Tarzan films on Saturday mornings).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Oct 18 - 10:34 AM

It wasn't called NASA when von Braun was there. That's why he can make the claim.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Oct 18 - 08:55 AM

Older than our Werner von Braun NASA?
Are you pre or post atomic bomb detonation?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Oct 18 - 09:41 PM

What a day. It feels like Friday already. And it's a month or more of pumpkin spice everything. Oy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 18 - 08:05 PM

Hard to believe that I'm older than NASA and the entire US space program.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 18 - 01:26 PM

Well, she said, "Just suck it up!" and I did.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 01 Oct 18 - 12:40 PM

Um. In Rapparee's defense,
whoever told him to help out with the bottle transfer
was probably
She Who Must Be Obeyed --
I mean, he WAS following orders, no??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Oct 18 - 12:38 PM

He'd better mark the bottle with his name on it so no one accidentally gets his germs. It's what my kids would insist upon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Sep 18 - 11:52 PM

Well, but it's fun, eh? :)


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