BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 02:59 PM

Well of course his Patent of Nobility is For Reign. A Patent of Nobility that wasn't in effect for the reign of the noble would be pretty useless, wouldn't it?

Besides - the US doesn't *issue* Patent's of Nobility.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 02:03 PM

That's because you used the PN, or Part Number. Try a search by PONN or Patent Of Nobility Number.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 12:27 PM

Rapaire,

AHAH!!!

From the site Amos posted:

"Results of Search in US Patents Collection db for:
PN/32475939: 0 patents.

No patents have matched your query "

So you must have a FOREIGN patent of nobility!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 12:24 PM

You-all ain't seen nuffin' yet. You could spend a year or two just tracking down all his dates. If you did, the dates of those searches would be, themselves, a kind of meta-date.

He made history by getting the Federal Gummint to interfere in his prior art. Not many can make that claim.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 11:42 AM

So this guy "Patents" gets around a lot? Over 3 million dates a year? But he practilcally lives on little blue pills.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 11:34 AM

dates of patents:
1965- 3,163,865
1966- 3,226,729
1967- 3,295,143
1968- 3,360,800
1969- 3,419,907

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 11:32 AM

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, untagged librarians are wandering off into the brush, the non-virtual bovine droppings haven't been scooped up, and the flies are swarming. MOM says you so-called poets need to get back to work!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 11:31 AM

You may address me by my patent of nobility: Patent No. 32475939.

Thank you.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 11:25 AM

Bruce? We're talking MOM here. as in "Mother".

So it goes without saying - that only MOM has rights - and she is *always* right.

Restrictions? Well, if you misbehave I'm sure you'll get grounded.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 11:04 AM

Well, with instructions like those in

"Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell - PM
Date: 05 May 03 - 09:49 PM "

I think MOAB had best avoid the USA. But then, what are the civil rights of those that post here ( "reside" in the loosest of terms)?

Are there limitations on citizenship? What about illegal posting? Does one need to demonstrate a certain level of BS to qualify for citizenship?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 10:32 AM

Are you referring to King Khandu? MOAB did not grant him the title, iot was pre-existing.

I'm pretty sure MOM hasn't done any of those other things either.

But no one said the State of Mom would necessarily be a memeber of the United States of America. MOM has always been pretty independent.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 10:29 AM

And I have claimed 18313 on Friday the 13th!

Oh frabjous day! Calloo, Callay! ( chortle, chortle)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 10:27 AM

From the Constitution:

"Section 10. No state shall enter into any treaty, alliance, or confederation; grant letters of marque and reprisal; coin money; emit bills of credit; make anything but gold and silver coin a tender in payment of debts; pass any bill of attainder, ex post facto law, or law impairing the obligation of contracts, or grant any title of nobility.

No state shall, without the consent of the Congress, lay any imposts or duties on imports or exports, except what may be absolutely necessary for executing it's inspection laws: and the net produce of all duties and imposts, laid by any state on imports or exports, shall be for the use of the treasury of the United States; and all such laws shall be subject to the revision and control of the Congress.

No state shall, without the consent of Congress, lay any duty of tonnage, keep troops, or ships of war in time of peace, enter into any agreement or compact with another state, or with a foreign power, or engage in war, unless actually invaded, or in such imminent danger as will not admit of delay."

MOAB Cannot be a state, as it has NOT complied with the limitations listed.

"grant any title of nobility. "

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 10:20 AM

whoa!

I know MOM's been a bit heavy at times; but I don't think she's large enough to be declared a STATE!

I think an apology is in order.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 10:17 AM

Go for it--but it must be on the State of Mom and related issues.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 09:12 AM

Amos requested Sonnets!



"The time for Another Epic Sonnet or Adventure In Many Couplets is drawing closer with every post!! "

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 09:03 AM

She's worked with you how long and she can make such a major mis-assessment of you? *grin*

Congrats to her from the Finger Lakes.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 11:43 PM

Bravo, Mike. Good on you, as well. Please pass my warmest congratulations on to her. You might want to explain to her that "always right" is just a front, and not how you really are deep inside.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 09:22 PM

No. I have kept her innocent.

I'm really excited about her winning. She didn't think she would, blah blah blah, as late as 12:30 p.m. today. When she called (I was on the way to lunch) the first thing she said was not "Hello" but "I hate it when you're always right."

We will support her 100%, with the time off and even money to do the job. I know what the other end is like all too well....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 07:23 PM

Does she know who MOM is? Now we're in trouble!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 05:11 PM

My #2, Kathy, has just been told that she has been elected Vice President/President-elect of the Pacific Northwest Library Association (which includes Alberta and BC)! Congratulations are trickling in, and if you'd like to send her congratulations PM me for her email address.

'Bout time, too. She's worked here since 1976.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 04:49 PM

I think that's just a contrail

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 04:43 PM

Keep it up, me boyos and lasses. The time for Another Epic Sonnet or Adventure In Many Couplets is drawing closer with every post!! The faint wan loom of the 19,000 even now is showing a faint hint along the horizon far ahead.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 03:47 PM

But I credited Rapaire with the setup and assist!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 03:39 PM

Fish in a barrel, MMario. . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 02:26 PM

I claim this post in the name of Rapaire and the Idaho League!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 02:24 PM

I shall refrain, and thereby demonstrate my modesty, from taking 18,300.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 01:24 PM

Your uke too small? We help y9ou with best prices on V1agry and Ci@lis. Singing will last a long long time with pre-approved home loan! Call now!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 01:10 PM

I don't think she did, SRS. From what I could see before it was all deleted, it was a whole bunch of music threads.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 01:01 PM

Attribution always is a good thing, even in MOAB.

Did mom get spammed? Did some cretin have the nerve to pester MOM with that shit? Geez. Is NOTHING sacred?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 12:42 PM

Ha. That was kinda confusing. I see the quotation marks now.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 12:25 PM

The quote is from David Diamond, not BB his own seff.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 11:56 AM

I think he's saying Dave Diamond wrote it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 11:55 AM

Bruce, are you saying that you wrote this?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 11:00 AM

From the David Diamond Song Book:

"THE TEA SHANTEY

I dreamed I had a cup of tea,
Tea-bags, tea bags away my John!
The way that cuppas used to be
Tea-bags away!

Go lass, and put the kettle on.
Tea-bags, tea-bags away my John!
Don't let the water boil too long.
Tea-bags away!

And don't forget to warm the pot,
Tea-bags, tea-bags away my John!
I won't drink tea if its not hot.
Tea-bags away!

The tea we had when I was young
Tea-bags, tea-bags away my John!
Was twice as good, three times as strong.
Tea-bags away!

Now pour the tea, but what is this?
Tea-bags, tea-bags away my John!
You call this tea? It tastes like ....
Tea-bags away!

The painful moral now is clear;
Tea-bags, tea-bags away my John!
Shun tea in bags and turn to beer.
Tea-bags away!


(To the tune of "Lowlands Away". The first line came to me while throwing tea bags away in approximately 1983. It is credibly reported that this song won third prize in a sea shantey contest at a Hull Sea Song Festival.)"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 10:51 AM

Want a lift, Mom? Now that those nasty spammers have gone, we'll put you back up on top!

I'm just making a pot of tea. Would you like a cuppa? There's a little home-made apple pie left too. And icecream!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 01:26 AM

☺

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 12:24 AM

Come on, man! Where do you think the Speziale Illuminati Azuli got its name?? These days, you K-Mart shoppers know it as a Blue Light Special...but it was once similarly known only to the Illuminati.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 09:37 PM

They...know about the Price Club? I thought that was one of the Illuminati's best kept secrets.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 09:22 PM

Except they found the bloodied scourge you had tucked under the Price Club boxes in the trash. So now they have DNA. It is only a matter of time, old friend. Make the most of it.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 08:57 PM

I'm okay now. My sins are expiated, purged, absolved, and my soul is again as white as that of a newly-baptized babe in its mother's arms. God and my wife have forgiven me and I see no reason to bring it up. I have no plans to resign. Besides, I got an alibi and I wasn't in town anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 08:39 PM

If you think, as you say, that it is unheard of, that may be because you were just not listening very hard.

But penance cleanses a multitude of sins, so perhaps the right ones will get swept up in the flood.

Good luck with that!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 06:43 PM

My back is raw and bloody from self-flagellation. My head is covered with ashes, and I have changed into sackcloth. I shall go forth now to atone for my error, slight though it was in the grand scheme of things, and beg forgiveness from all I meet. Perhaps too they will give me a good kick, or spit on me, or do some disgusting thing to me to help my penance along. Or I might simply go to work tomorrow.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 05:46 PM

I was in error! Me! In error! It is totally unheard of! Here is the correct version:

If all be true that I do think
There are five reasons why we drink:
Good wine, good friends, or being dry,
Or lest we should be by-and-by,
Or any other reason why.

I am shamed, shamed by my own hand. I'd jump out the window to my death except I'm on the first floor and I'd probably just sprain an ankle.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 05:12 PM

If all be true that I do think
There are four reasons why we drink:
Good friends, good wine, or being dry,
Or any other reason why.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 11:39 AM

In urban areas - that would have been just about everywhere until the mid to late 19th century.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 11:36 AM

Thank you for that, Rapaire. I knew I must have been doing something right. I can now pour that second glass of wine with a clear conscience :-)

Seriously though, there are some places in the world, and there have been times through history when it actually was healthier to drink alcohol than the local water.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 10:59 AM

Old Noah the drinking of water decried
For he knew that by drinking all man should die.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 10:57 AM

This is important and relates to the health of everyone on Mudcat, not just Mom's Kids. A friend sent this to me, and since her husband works at Argonne National Lab you can believe that it's accurate:

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of crap. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 09:50 AM

$5 even!