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BS: The Mother of all BS threads
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: JennyO Date: 08 Aug 07 - 01:06 PM Sounds like sorta savoury scones to me, Amos. They'd be nice. I don't think we have them. Okay, better get MOM and bring her back. I'm going outside and I may be some time. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Aug 07 - 12:55 PM You know, it's not that it's hard to find a needle in a haystack. They're really quite common. What is hard is to find a specific needle in a haystack. That's very hard. You have to wonder also...what would be the gain in doing so? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 08 Aug 07 - 12:55 PM Well, Jenny, bring her back home. All this flitting about is making me dizzy!! As to biscuits, American style, they are just baked in the oven, a mix of water and flour or milk and flour and some baking powder, white fluffy inside and tan crispy outside, perfect for butter and honey, or PB, when hot. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: JennyO Date: 08 Aug 07 - 12:48 PM These sound really unfamiliar. Maybe we don't have things like that at all here. Oops! I just remembered - I left MOM sleeping on a haystack somewhere out near Alice Springs. It's a good thing she was in the shade! She should be waking up soon, so I'd better take some paracetamol and some of that iced tea with me, cos when she does wake up she's probably going to have The Mother of all Hangovers! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Aug 07 - 12:40 PM I've heard that peanut butter is good for baiting mousetraps. Haven't tried it yet, though. I've been using small bits of bacon instead, and they work very well. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: MMario Date: 08 Aug 07 - 12:35 PM nope. crackers is crackers - and the herring and onions would go well on a nice savoury cracker - but a biscuit....hmmmmmmmmmmm anyone else want to try to explain? some biscuits are like irish soda bread only individual portion size; some are more like what bread would be if it were made like puff pastry... so hard to explain.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: JennyO Date: 08 Aug 07 - 12:28 PM I'm trying to imagine something between a crumpet and a scone, and nothing comes to mind at all. I think the savoury ones you want for your anchovies and herrings etc would be crackers, MMario. Here's some tea you can cool down if you want it that way, SRS. I would too if it was summer - it's a great refreshing drink. I'm having mine hot cos It's a cold night here. Congratulations on your weight loss too! I need to do that, but it's hard to get started. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: MMario Date: 08 Aug 07 - 12:02 PM I thought that. I'm not sure what our "biscuits" would be in Oz, England or elsewhere... hmmmmmm....somewhere betwwen a crumpet and a scone, sorta, but not really - and not sweet. And those would be the "baking powder" bicuits - then there are the layered or buttermilk biscuits which are really a sorta special roll...only not... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 08 Aug 07 - 12:02 PM Cool that tea some more! Here's a tall glass of ice. I'll skip the baked goods, whatever they are, I'm trying to lose that last 10 pounds (already lost 20). |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: JennyO Date: 08 Aug 07 - 11:56 AM The biscuits are cookies - sweet. That was why I had doubts about Amos putting peanut butter on them. But anchovies and onion, or pickled herring? Definitely not! I think you'd like these ones plain, MMario. I was forgetting you folks call them cookies over there. We Oz folks are more likely to call them biscuits - or bikkies. On the odd occasion we might call some of the round ones cookies. Meanwhile, they are cooling down and so is the tea. Come and get it! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 08 Aug 07 - 11:55 AM I think Rapaire has been a little to close to some of the forest fires up north burning out of control (and right across someone's patch of maryjane). Or maybe he's trying in his own unique way to tell us that he has developed a |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 08 Aug 07 - 11:43 AM He is, except for the groupies. HE has lots of them. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: MMario Date: 08 Aug 07 - 11:40 AM aw shucks, I wuz thinkin' Peace would be somethin' special to meet - but now you go and tell us he's pretty much a standard mudcat. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 08 Aug 07 - 11:34 AM By the way -- we did meet up with Peace. He's a swell guy. Easily two and a half meters tall when we met him*, he was writing a new song with his left hand, chording it out on the guitar with his right, and picking his teeth with a full-grown Lodgepole Pine. His favorite tipple is tea, gasoline, and gunpowder and he owns a pair of blue oxen. He also is on the local volunteer fire department and uses Gulliver's method of extinguishing fires no matter their size or extent. Every day he eats a herd of forty cows (cooked, of course) for breakfast, accompanied by three hundred and sixty-two scrambled eggs, ninety-seven gallons of industrial-strength tea, and a boxcarload of potatoes. For lunch and dinner he needs more food. He shaves by driving his whiskers in with a hammer and cutting them off inside with a double-bitted axe (saves time, he says, because all he has to do is insert it, twirl it, and spit it all out). Of course, this ruins the axehead but Parks Canada Parcs supplies him all he needs as a reward for pushing up and installing the bracing under Mt. Robson when it started to sag a few years back. Great guy. *He's still a growing boy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: MMario Date: 08 Aug 07 - 11:27 AM hmmmm-- that depends on whether biscuits is cookies or biscuits is biscuits-US style. If they are biscuit/biscuitss then anchovies and onion - or maybe a bit pickled herring? But if they is biscuits as in cookies then probably plain. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 08 Aug 07 - 11:22 AM "If" I must??? We're talking about PEANUT BUTTER!! There's no IF to it! Of course, I must!! And Mario tole me his own self he prefers anchovies, so I get all the peanut butter. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 08 Aug 07 - 11:21 AM T. Mold was the ancestor of T. Rex, you know. Best to eliminate it now before it remembers wheat it once was and stomps out Dallas or Big Neck or someplace. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: JennyO Date: 08 Aug 07 - 11:14 AM All right Amos, if you must. But not too many - you don't want to spoil your dinner you know. And leave some for MMario. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 08 Aug 07 - 11:11 AM Hey, lookat me! A passing peddler was leading his pet ostrich and I hopped a ride back to the house. Quite a soft ride! While folks are milling around I'm going to make some more sun tea. I think the batch in Mom's fridge now has mold floating in it. Not a good sign. You all just have a seat on the porch, or go play horseshoes down in the bottom of the yard, it's shady enough down there. (And take the shoes off of the horses before you throw them, please!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 08 Aug 07 - 11:06 AM Kin I have peanut butter on mine? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: JennyO Date: 08 Aug 07 - 10:51 AM Of course! Home made and fresh from the oven! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: MMario Date: 08 Aug 07 - 10:38 AM biscuits with the tea? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: JennyO Date: 08 Aug 07 - 10:37 AM Cup of tea anyone? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 08 Aug 07 - 10:26 AM Aw, Geeze, now Emms is mad at Jenns and I am sore at Leedle. And Mom's sleeping in a haystackupside down. An' Stilly's sore at all points. Aw, Geeze. Shucks. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: MMario Date: 08 Aug 07 - 10:11 AM ? ! ? When I made that objection because someone claimed a pinwheel with a '4' in the center I was told it would still spin, so it was a pinwheel! I'm gonna go in my room. - no one better come in. I'm puting up the "No admittance - This means U" sign. *stomp* |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: JennyO Date: 08 Aug 07 - 10:05 AM MMario, I hate to tell you, but I think you'll find it's only a palindromic number. The middle number is not the same upside down, so not a pinwheel. Close though, and quite nice in its own way. It was a rough ride I agree, Stilly, still once one has had a few of those highballs, one is sorta feeling no pain - you know how it is. When cocktail hour was eventually over, we settled MOM down in one of these. She was feeling no pain either. We actually had a considerable amount of trouble finding a haystack WITHOUT a needle in it. The nasty little things are turning up everywhere! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: MMario Date: 08 Aug 07 - 08:50 AM iffen I kalkoolaided right this is One-eight-six-eight-one. PINWHEEL! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 08 Aug 07 - 01:30 AM Oh, gawd, you should feel what it feels like to ride on a horse all day in a dress. . . I'm walking home. . . once I can walk again. . . good thing we've done a big loop. . . we're not that far from the house. . . Mom says she's going to wait for something large and comfortable--I think there might be a flatbed truck with hay in the back coming through soon. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 08 Aug 07 - 12:27 AM Mom: I am glad you have a chance to take a vacation, but don't expect the place to be ttidy when you get back. I got an offer to go to sea as a common deckie hauling cargo out to Singapore from Frisco, today. I am thinking hard about it. Maybe we will cross trails on your way back from Australia, especially if you come back by horseback as well. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 08 Aug 07 - 12:13 AM Hi Bro's! Here we are at the cocktail hour near Alice Station. You can tell from the lighting that it is a wee bit early,but we needed Mom to snap the picture while she could still hold the camera. Happy hour just started and she has already downed 3 highballs. She says the bourbon here tastes very different. Love, Janie |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Aug 07 - 12:10 AM Wow! The world's longest fence. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 08 Aug 07 - 12:03 AM Dear Rapaire, I'm really enjoying my tour of the Australian Outback. We visited this place today. I was careful to write down directions in case you might like to visit it yourself some day. Look out for your brothers while I am gone. Love, MOM |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Aug 07 - 11:41 PM What is your problem. Did you get up on the wrong side of bed or something? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 07 Aug 07 - 11:37 PM Lo, the thickening smoke, the flying mirrors. Scrabble on, scrabbler. There's probably some high ground left for you up there if you scrabble desperately enough. Shatner!! Ugh!! Rapaire, I don't think that is the outback Janie was referring to. Besides, Mom had indoor plumbing put in when you were about 7. I clearly remember the day we had to fish you out from exploring it. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Aug 07 - 11:19 PM Ho! Ho! (snort) Well, this has been most entertaining. It's been almost as much fun as the time I got invited to one of Bill Shatner's barbecues at the place in Tennessee. It seems that he had hooked up with a traveling women's volleyball team that he met while doing a Star Trek convention in Memphis, and he invited them all back to his place for steaks and corn on the cob. I was there doing research for the WSSBA, Bill being kind enough to help out by providing all kinds of background information and anecdotes. Things really got going after sundown, I can tell you. The food was great and the entertainment....even better. Yesiree. Too bad you couldn't have been there, Rapaire. Chongo has been kicking himself that he missed out on that one. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 07 Aug 07 - 11:04 PM Now Amos, don't go on so. Girls just want to have fun. Rapaire, didn't Mom teach you not to use bathroom jokes in mixed company? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 07 Aug 07 - 10:52 PM If Mom has to go to the Outback who are we to stop her? You DID put some more paper in, didn't you? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 07 Aug 07 - 10:46 PM Oh, great. See what you've done now? Riled the wimmin folk. Great. Just great. Now we won't have Mom!! She's gone off into the Outback!! Curse you, Little Hawk!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 07 Aug 07 - 09:45 PM "Hey, look at the blimp!" she exclaimed, pointing at the sky behind them. The men turned as one, their eyes following the line of her finger. In the brief second it took for them to realize they had been fooled, the women darted in, grabbed Mom, and ran. Under the cover of the men's loud declaiming and chest thumping, Jenny O had quietly brought the horses up and had been holding them, obscured from general notice, in a copse of trees about 20 yards from the field of dishonor. She broke from the trees, leading the other horses behind her. Her cohorts scrambled quickly onto their mounts and tore away. SRS had to delay. She was holding Mom. Jenny deftly leaned down as she rode past and swept Mom onto the saddle behind her. SRS took off running again. With a wild whoop and a great leap, she sprang over the hindquarters of her steed, and raced away after the others. They were headed for the Outback. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 07 Aug 07 - 08:24 PM Oh stop your nonsense, good Rapaire. It is more than I can bear to have TWO of you go completely around the bend at once. Little Hawk has become a rude beast, slouching toward Bethlehem to be re-assembled, and you are acting like a hant with more of his attention on the far side than the near one. This is a ridiculous universe, no mistake. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 07 Aug 07 - 08:05 PM How odd it is that the ghosts of both Amos and Little Hawk still post. They must have loved Mom a lot, but I suspect that they will eventually be exorcised. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 07 Aug 07 - 07:38 PM I did mean odoriferous--meaning, morally offensive; as in, "odoriferous legislation". Your delusory world-view was not up to extrapolating that fairly obvious meaning, but perhaps I should not have committed the typo. I know you are in a delicate frame of mind, having jsut been reassembled from small parts. Sigh. Never mind. When the healing process is over, I am sure you will be much more rational. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Aug 07 - 05:50 PM The word is "odoriferous", you simpleton. And did you know this? It means "diffusing an odor, either pleasant or obnoxious". Since you obviously meant the former (pleasant), I suppose I should thank you for the compliment, although I have to say that I find it rather odd that you would take such an interest in another man's skivvies...you being happily married and all... Does your wife know about your pecadillos in this regard? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 07 Aug 07 - 05:37 PM Mwahahahaha. What pretense!! What folderolity. Bloviate is a perfectly fine word, the more so because it describes you to a T, M. Hack. As for paying you for appearing here, I think not. I would remind you that it is only through goodwill that your status here as existing whatsoever was recently restored. You should pay Mom for the privilege of occasionally appearing under her overly-lenient roof. Pray, do not bore me with your fancied fraudulent justifications any longer. They are not the class of BS we seek in these parts. I spit ice cubes and seeds in your general direction. And slip an ice cube into your odiferous underpants. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Aug 07 - 05:08 PM More bloated verbosity from the supposedly outraged one! Good gracious. My dear fellow, anyone who uses the term "bloviate" in common discourse nowadays is clearly suffering from an ailment that I would characterize as terminal pomposity of the piehole. "Bloviate" indeed! No one bloviates anymore in this society. People bloviated in the Victorian era, Amos, but bloviation has had its day. You need to descend from the exquisitely remote ivory tower of pretence and intellectual artifice you have constructed for yourself, shake yourself off like a hounddog after a refreshing dip in the river, and join the rest of us down here on planet Earth. I stand by my original statement. I am proud of it. I would say it again if asked to. It was a red flag waved in the breeze in hopes of stimulating a shocked snort of surprise from the wandering MOAB bull, and it succeeded splendidly. Mission accomplished. By the way, if you wish me to continue responding in a timely fashion to each and every ONE of your ramblings on this thread, I shall expect a weekly stipend (say $150) to be deposited directly into my Paypal account. Otherwise I shall only respond when I feel like it. My time is valuable, you know... ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 07 Aug 07 - 04:15 PM You each need to get a glass of that lemonade and go sit in the swing under the shade tree and listen to the bugs and the birds and throw ice cubes at each other. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 07 Aug 07 - 04:02 PM Just to make the record clear, the sordid calumny for whcih Little Hawk was so recently vaporized and emulsified is the following remark on the innate character of our Mom: As for the MOAB, forget it. No one is insane enough to try and analyze that. It has become a tiny club for the terminally verbose and Shatnerless types who lurk at the fringes of society, desperately hoping against hope that something they say or do actually matters. The reason this was grounds for a challenge is it is false slander against all of our natures. If I hoped for a minute to make something I say "really matter", Little Hawk, are you really deluded enough to think I would put it on the MOAB? This story shall the good man teach his son; And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by, From this day to the ending of the world, But we in it shall be remember'd; We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile, This day shall gentle his condition: And gentlemen in England now a-bed Shall think themselves accursed they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day. So hold thine own, Monsieur Hack, and find some use therefore better than such craven sprinkles. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 07 Aug 07 - 03:37 PM Oh, bloviate away, Leedle Hack, your smoke screen will never be thick enough to obscure the truth. You insulted Mom and all who abide with her. Then you show up and insist you were just kidding. For fie. Puff away, cover your scrawny butt as you will, but I assure you all would be put much more right by a simple admission and apology. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Aug 07 - 12:50 PM Pfui! Amos chose, instead of utilizing the grand opportunities here for the sort of wit and ridiculosity that the situation clearly called for, to get all huffy and affronted....like a maiden aunt who has just detected a lapse of teatime etiquette on the part of a younger relative. He rushes to the defense of a thread which from its inception has been based on bizarre humour and utter nonsense, and acts as if he were defending the dignity and sanctity of some hallowed institution. He objects strenuously to my trolling for a response on the sacred ground of the Mother of All BS (ahem...bullshit) Threads......... How absurd. Has the man lost his sense of proportion altogether? Has he been consuming too many pickled anchovies? Something is seriously wrong here. If he were living in Schenectady....if he was a Schenectadonian or whatever the hell they call themselves....I could understand it. But he's living in California. Californians are supposed to be broadminded and flexible. Or is all his huffing and puffing merely feigned outrage? I suspect that is the case. It's just a big act. Well, I am not impressed. And I am fully prepared to resume the duel at any time in order to put this pompous fellow in his proper place. Out of politeness, I will not state where that place is.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: MMario Date: 07 Aug 07 - 12:20 PM I think Amos may have meant "decimalization" - LH being temporaily Deweyed (possibly also Hueyed and Lueyed as well) |
