BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jan 07 - 11:38 PM

Does anyone else get the impression that, in the delight and release of Mom's numbers finally being right, we have gotten a tad giddy?

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jan 07 - 10:19 PM

Ha!! Ha ha!! Ha ha ha!!! Those guys. But its not their fault. They weren't brought up tight, ya know?

Thanks, Mom.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jan 07 - 06:28 PM

Hi Mom! Just wanted to let you know that the kids over at the "85 Billion Posts" thread let it fall off the page!

It's a shame the way some kids neglect their threads! We would never let that happen to you Mom!

Okay, I lied. We would let it happen. We're just waiting for someone to offer us enough money.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jan 07 - 06:24 PM

Whoops! I was very, very wrong.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jan 07 - 06:23 PM

Next poster gets a Lucky Number.

Yayy for him/her!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jan 07 - 04:07 PM

Hmmmmm..... A tantalizing proposition.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jan 07 - 03:43 PM

Perhaps she has taken him in hand, so to speak. . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jan 07 - 02:14 PM

Obviously, ROsie has had her wicked way with your mind, Bunn....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 19 Jan 07 - 01:03 PM

Well, it made sense when I typed it, but I'm not sure what on earth I was going on about now...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jan 07 - 10:19 AM

Mom, last night I went to a concert of REAL Irish music! Stuff that they sing in Ireland, like "Danny Boy" and "Toora Loora Loora" and "Mother Machree" and "Galway Bay" and





























well, Mom, it was really a Chieftains concert. And it was very good.

Now I'm off to Seattle. But I'll be in touch.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jan 07 - 10:19 AM

hI, mOM! iT'S

iNTERNATIONAL fORGET TO tAKE yOUR cAPS lOCK oFF dAY!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jan 07 - 10:10 AM

Under an affluence of incohol and estrogen, a man will say strange things.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jan 07 - 12:19 AM

Bunn, rearrange that last sentence or take out a few "nots" to remove some of the double-negative confusion. I don't even want to ask what Rosie's last name might be. . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 10:53 PM

Gluon, stop eating my posts!

Now, as I was trying to say, there are Women involved, therefore they don't need charges, all they need are suspicions. Innocent until proven guilty goes out the window, if not totally inverted.

Now just don't ask me when I've not spent the last few....several... many hours with a friend who's just broken up, it's not 4 am, and Rosie hasn't just caught up with me...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 10:44 PM

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 09:08 PM

There are positive charges, negative charges, surcharges, cavalry charges, finance charges, cover charges, depth charges, overcharges, discharges, and undercharges. Which ones are we talking about?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 08:51 PM

There are charges invcolved, sure, but not that kind.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 04:57 PM

Is that like criminal conversation?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 02:27 PM

This morning's conversation serves to prove the rule. :)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 01:32 PM

I was assuming that "thinking" implied "conscious" - now - if you are talking sub-conscious or unconscious thinking about sex - then the 730 is way way way too low. It's probably closer to 8759.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 01:29 PM

15700

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 01:28 PM

YEah -- lets not have any nocturnal omissions in this math problem.

Anyway...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 01:26 PM

Sleep time should count....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 01:21 PM

"If two men are seen talking to each other with no woman present, they're talking about sex. If two men are seen together with no women present and they're not talking, they're only thinking about sex."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 12:57 PM

Ask your wives or partners for their estimate of that time. I'd bet you wouldn't get an answer of 11.7%....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 12:39 PM

8760-2550 (approx average for sleep) = 6210 waking hours.

so 730 hours would be 11.7 % of the time - which is a lot.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 12:33 PM

There are 8,760 hours in a year. SUbtract MM's 730 hours during which he thinks about sex and you get 8030 hours during which he is either asleep, or thinking about computers.

Or singing.

With his uvula in full play.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 12:33 PM

According to the Kinsey report, almost half of the male population (46%) doesn't even think about sex as often as once a day! Well, I wish they'd get their acts together because some of us are having to pick up their slack!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 12:26 PM

I think there was a slight error in MMario's informative post

In a year, the typical guy spends 730 hours   thinking about sex. Face it, just about ANYTHING makes us think about sex.

I found the word 'not' floating about, with Gluon's teeth marks clearly linking it to the above sentence. Now, where do you think it fits in?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 11:49 AM

awwww damn! he mentioned Wankel rotary engines. I'm not gonna be able to concentrate for *HOURS* now!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 11:46 AM

Hangnail.

Thermal inversion.

Polymorphism and inheritance in object oriented logic structures.

Normal distribution curves in the population of lesser grebes.

Rates of heat loss in unprotected divers in crossing thermoclines.

Characteristics of the Sagitarrius persona.

Timing and energy density in the rotary Wankel engine.


Hmmmm.....


You know what? I think you're right, MM!!

:D


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 11:33 AM

Amos;

Why bother MOM with such a question? You have a 'Y' chromosome (or at least it is assumed you do, as phenotypically you express traits common to the 'Y' chromosome)

In a year, the typical guy spends 730 hours thinking about sex. Face it, just about ANYTHING makes us think about sex.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 11:25 AM

Dear Mom:

I know what the uvula is, so why is it I keep thinking about sex every time I see it in print?

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 10:45 AM

about 10 years ago I had my tonsils out (not a pleasant experience at 40-mumble) and they really beat up my uvula while performing the longest tonsilectomy either the surgeon or the hospital had ever done. (seems there was so much scar tissue on my tonsils that...well - lets just say they didn't have an easy time of it)

Anyway - because of the bruising of my uvula they had to slit the outer casing of it -- and let me tell you; the little bugger can really send pain signals! and it's very,very slow to heal.

So if having a National Uvula Day keeps peoples uvulae happy - I'm all for it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 10:37 AM

It is good to see Mother wearing all her numbers with pride. She wears them well.

But National Uvula Day? I find that a bit hard to swallow!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 10:29 AM

Neither rain, nor snow, nor dark of night
Nor glitch or gremlin
Shall prevent MOAB
from reaching ever higher numbers.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 10:25 AM

I am delighted Mom's numbers have turned right-way-to again. But I must register a protest that BWL gets credit, from himself, for causing the remedy by writing his wonderful Faux Number Blues, which is a gem in istself.

It is equally possible that the Powers of Mudcat noticed my own small "Faux but Happy" contriibution and realized thereby that it was time to rectify the equation. The logic might have run "If Faux but Happy and then Not Faux, therefore Not Happy", you see.

Well, it COULD happen.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 09:41 AM

Hooray! Hoorah! Mom's case of the faux number blues has been cured! All it took was for an idiot to write a song about it!

And imagine this... It happened just in time for INTERNATIONAL UVULA DAY!!! Yes, that's right boys and girls! It's that special day when we all go out of our ways to be kind to those silly flaps that hang down in our mouths for who knows what reason! Happy INTERNATIONAL UVULA DAY everyone!

(Betcha can't wait to see what kind of holiday tomorrow will be, huh?)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 09:22 AM

Now I remember. There wasn't any dip in the dance. I only thought there was because some on the sidelines said, "Look at that dip dance!"

But what am I going to do with all these used styrofoam cups?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 11:35 PM

Now if she could just stop that stumbling two-step cleared up. . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 11:32 PM

Look at Mom's Numbers! I think she's got it! Yessss! The printer friendly says the last one was 15679.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 09:35 PM

So are the blues, man.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 09:34 PM

"Oranges are green." Hah! Pinks are all sorts of different colors!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 09:21 PM

SMALL MINDS? SMALL MINDS???

I, sir, will have you know that oranges are green--well, unless they're orange. Heh! Top THAT!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 09:20 PM

Depends, Rapaire. I'm partial to sour cream with onion soup mix in it. And some fresh chives.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 09:18 PM

Mom is cursed? I didn't realize that was the problem. Shall I do my Patented Unhex Lift-The-Curse Ceremony? It's hard to find all of the ingredients here, but for Mom I'll give it Ye Olde Collegee Trye.

Let's see: toe of wart...maybe that's supposed to be "woe of tart" and if it is I can get that up at the Legion Hovel...a Pentagon, that's in DC and I'll have to levitate it here I guess...Philosopher's Stone, no sweat there's one in my workshop...do I still remember the dance steps? Is it 1-2-3 dip or 1-dip-2-3...the last time I did it wrong and conjured up all those chickens....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 08:52 PM

The Faux Number Blues

Oh Mom's got them ol' faux number blues
Can't tell the phoney numbers from the trues
If Max would just fix that server
All Mom's troubles would be erver
And we could get on to things far more obtuse

Oh there's sixty-five hundred, seventy-one of our posts
Not really missin' they've just turned to ghosts
We Moabites would be thrilled
To see them empty numbers filled
We'd even raise a glass and make a toast

We think our Mom's already paid her dues
Faux numbers make her nervous an' confused
Oh nothing could be worse
Than to be saddled with this curse
Please rid Mom of these ol' faux number blues

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 07:17 PM

When the false numbers equal the real ones, either they have both reached an infinite number of posts, the universe has ended ( unless these are in fact the same thing), or the server is playing silly buggers.

I'm working on the first at the moment, not sure what I can do about the second, except avoiding giving anybody with a particle accelerator any really silly ideas ( I only know one of them at the moment, and she has enough silly ideas of her own), and I sent Max some money to help with number three.

I'm sure i had a point at some point. Unfortunately I'm more sure I had a beer which may have caused it to wander...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 06:41 PM

Small minds, small pleasures....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 06:19 PM

TADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!


Faux but Happy!



A