BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 02 May 18 - 05:46 PM

tsuris - a magically healing ancient Yiddish word. It gets an express connection to god's ear.

well done

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 18 - 04:41 PM

I have to trust anything named da Vinci. It's in my blood or something. Thanks to Rapp for echoing my immortal prose here from there. It's not that I don't care about Mom, it's just I get addlepated and don't realize how long its been since I visited her sacred temple. Imagine! A whole page of Mom posts without my name on it. It's disgraceful, as The Orange One would say. Also, "No collusion!". Don't get me started.

Seriously, I have been on a clinical trial routine of chemotherapy combining cisplatin and gemcitabine (something like that) with a an immune system stimulant designed to make the body's own immune system recognize cancer cells and take them out. Anything to help move science forward, especially when so many are trying to move it backwards. Spare me from idiocy. So now, with the chemo behind me, they want to take the bladder out altogether to ensure no sneaky cancer cells pop back into play. Such tsuris. Surgery is on the 8th instant. Will advise.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 02 May 18 - 02:19 PM

self cloned bladders were the first organs developed by the NIH that people could use anew. I don't know how all the sphincters work.

The robot surgeon is named Leonardo d'Vinci and doesn't get hangovers.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 01 May 18 - 07:48 PM

Thanks for asking.
No, keberoxu is not on Facebook.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 May 18 - 07:24 PM

MOM wants to know if Keberoxu is on Facebook. *Asking for a friend.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 18 - 06:32 PM

Amos saith, in part, 22 hours before this post:

I have just returned from a loverly weekend in the wilding hills of West Virginia where a clan of song-loving folkies gather to spend the days and evenings swapping songs at a rustic inn called The Brazen Head. A long long drive. But well worth it for the chance to get my fix of people in song. :D

On the 8th of May I will be delving into the unknown as the amazing technology of modern medicine again converges on my mortal shell to tweak and remodel it. This time it will be a robotic surgeon with six arms which will be moving in through six very small incisions to remove my trusty bladder and some auxiliary bits including the seminal vesicles and prostate gland, so that when I awake I will have to re-learn the rare art of urination all anew, but this time en plastique. As far as I can recall I was an average student of micturition in my first training on the course back in the 1940's, and improved steadily to the point where I could write my name in the snow. I am not sure how well that will work with this new system, but the nurse who was trying to coach me on what to expect reassured me cheerfully that I would still be able to point the stream. Preserve the small pleasures, that's what I say.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 01 May 18 - 02:58 PM

I'm glad you didn't hack of the top of the storm picture to fit in an 8ft. ceiling room. Umbrellas do cheer it up.

I knew the guy who planned the job in Boston. (Al Munday)
Double crossing the Russians was easier than I thought.
Small world you were the high bidder/ That was ~ 10 years before Mudcat

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 01 May 18 - 02:38 PM

Up we go, Mom.
Rapparee is accounted for,
and gnu has let us know he is lurking.

Now we need Amos to check in.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 18 - 10:00 PM

Ralphy's and Mikey's painting, especially that ceiling, are going to be given to the Society for the Preservation and Continuation of Absurd and Silly Uses of Paint (SPCASUP). That one part, of Adam getting the finger from Big Daddy, has been painted over. But you mentioned the storm one in particular -- you'll be pleased to know that trench coats, rubber boots, and umbrellas were painted onto is a few years ago so that children wouldn't worry that the subjects were going to catch cold.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Apr 18 - 03:39 PM

To be on the safe side Rap, have you made arrangements for the lost portrait of Raphael and Rembrandts Christ in a Storm?

If not just post here that you will them to my safe hands.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Apr 18 - 02:26 PM

nitro for low blood pressure and caffeine for high is a hard way to maintain a medium BP

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 18 - 02:08 PM

Oh, Mom!!! Mere minutes from oblivion! Yes, oblivion. O-B-L-I-V-I-O-N. Here, let me save you from that. That's nice, now give me the other bottle. And the one you have hidden. There now! You've avoided the oblivion and false haven the alcohol provides! Here's a nice, huge, espresso. Drink it all down, now. GOOOOOD GIRL!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Apr 18 - 02:05 PM

Here comes Kalenda Maya ...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 18 - 05:17 PM

Oh, I'm okay now. It was touch-and-go for a few hours, me hovering just outside Death's Door with one foot inside, the hearse waiting outside with the black plumed horses, but all the tests and EKGs came back normal so I decided to go home instead. It shows what an indomitable will can do!

NB: Don't fool around with the non-medical, oily, nitroglycerine. It is not something for make at home or even in your high school's chemistry lab. Trust me on this.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Apr 18 - 10:24 PM

What were you and MOM doing that set you off? And I hope Pat made sure the car shock absorbers were in good shape for the drive home. I remember an episode of Death Valley Days or maybe Rawhide when they had to transport nitro glycerin. It was a real nail-biter.

Stay healthy, Mike. Get well soon!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 18 - 08:36 PM

Fun! I spent the afternoon in the ER. Chest pains (mine). All tests and EKGs negative, but they are going to tell my regular doctor on me. I am also supposed to get a stress test.

No problems, but they gave me nitroglycerin four times and now when I spit the spitoon explodes.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 18 - 08:54 PM

Mom gave up giving any other thread a run for its money about 40,000 posts back. I distinctly remember her saying, "Screw it. Life's too short. I ain't racin' anybody. I'll whomp their (posterior parts) just by ambling along."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 27 Apr 18 - 12:02 PM

Well, Mom, better mosey back up from the basement here.
After all, the Mudcat Tavern is prepping for Kalenda Maya
and you have to give it a run for its money.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Apr 18 - 03:31 PM

Window blinds that have one blind rise and take a peek exposing menacing eyes at various intervals is as effective as the sound of a shot gun being cocked from the signal of a motion detector on the porch.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Apr 18 - 09:39 AM

Bricks. Handy for breaking windows. Saves a B&E artist time and the effort of finding a big rock.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Apr 18 - 10:52 PM

My porch is fine, and there is a stack of bricks to conceal things left on the porch (if the delivery person has the sense to conceal the parcel).

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 18 - 08:51 PM

They are not delivering inside my house or in my car.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Apr 18 - 04:00 PM

Hey, MOM! Amazon delivers. It would be easier on the dogs if they didn't deliver directly into the house.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Apr 18 - 11:46 AM

There's a place (chain) called Five Guys that has pretty good burgers - the standard size is difficult to fit into a normal human mouth. There are some local one-off hamburger joints that I prefer if I haven't had my monthly supply of beef fat. One in particular has wonderful fried onion rings on the side.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 18 - 09:29 AM

Nothing Burgers. What a great name for a new franchise! You order a nothing burger and you get a bun with special sauce, cheese, pickles, lettuce, mustard, catsup, and onion. Your burger is nothing.

BTW, today is Max's birthday. Go above the line and wish him well.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Apr 18 - 07:08 PM

I've never heard the quarking of the duckdog but I have eaten plenty of quarks in my day. My favorite flavor is lucky charm. Neutrinos also come in different flavors. Technicolor bosons taste just like a nothing burger.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Apr 18 - 12:52 PM

Ol' Sam would've fit right in on the MOAB. We're all a bunch of cock-a-doodle-doodle-doodlists.

Except Gluon. Hyperspatial duckdogs don't do cock-a-doodle-doodle-doo. They do

QUARK!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 18 - 10:24 AM

Others are better. I have the others I've done: Steamboats and the Opening of the American West, Printing and the Reformation, the Second Korean War, and this one, Samuel Clemens: More Than Mark Twain.

I do not have degrees in History. I do not have a PhD; my MS is in Library and Information Science. There are too many people out there spewing "information." I don't want to join them. Besides, would you know what I meant if I called someone "k?okkinomallistic"? Clemens was a ?kokkinomallist and never once denied it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Apr 18 - 10:54 PM

Mike, you need to turn that talk into a YouTube video and put it out there for posterity. School children will discover it when they have to do reports on Mark Twain.

The monotone microwave beep bird may just be imitating an appliance.
I have heard the local mockingbirds mimic car alarms. Seriously. They used to go off so frequently that the birds picked up the "call." Not so much lately because 1) car alarms work better and 2) more neighbors park their cars inside garages.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 18 - 08:58 PM

About 35 people attended my class yesterday. But it was a beautiful day, just as today, and I can understand why 50 or so took a powder. But those who were there seemed to enjoy it.

Pat found some of her ancestors in the Family History Library in SLC. At least she's pretty sure she did.

I'm exhausted in body and soul. I probably put 50 or more hours in on Sam Clemens last week and I don't know how many hours getting ready to make the powerpoint slides.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Apr 18 - 08:49 AM

My great great great uncle zeke at center of bird he shot

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Apr 18 - 08:40 AM

The monotone microwave beep bird may just be imitating an appliance.
It sounds so inorganic. I don't think it is in love with the beep from my morning reheated coffee.


DC metro is being vastly improved after going 30 years with no maintenance. (a very American behavior} It is state of the art when compared to Boston or Chicago. If however the world's deepest longest escalator breaks down one gets to experience walking into a coal mine.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 18 - 11:50 PM

I have finished my presentation of Sam Clemens. I give it tomorrow, the 108th anniversary of his death.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Apr 18 - 07:59 PM

The bird outside my window is no longer trying to sell me tee-shirts. Instead, he's urging me to be patient. "Patience, patience, patience!" Or perhaps he's saying, "Patients, patients, patients!" It's hard to tell the difference without a bit of context.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 20 Apr 18 - 11:23 AM

Hey, Don, my globe-trotting librarian daughter will be in DC for a few days this summer. We'll have to exchange some PMs about what she might expect. She says she loves traveling to cities with good rapid transit because she doesn't like to have to drive in them. I like that also.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 18 - 08:11 PM

I have one outside my window as well. Here's a sketch I made.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Apr 18 - 08:02 PM

Now I have a bird outside my kitchen that sounds just like my microwave

beep beep beep beep

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Apr 18 - 01:25 PM

Mom! There's a bird outside my window trying to sell me tee-shirts. He keeps repeating, "Tee-shirts, tee-shirts, tee-shirts!" I'm not sure what kind of bird it is. I'm pretty sure it's not a hawk, even though he seems to be hawking tee-shirts. Maybe it's a blue jay. They sometimes imitate hawks.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 18 - 10:49 PM

I'm sitting here sobbing my eyes out.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Apr 18 - 06:11 PM

Haw! Rap's hundred number post is no such thing! It's only a 99 number post!

Okay, it was a hundred number post, but that was before Acme deleted my errant and incomplete post. The one with unfinished sentences. The one where some mysterious sequence of keystrokes made Muddy think I had hit the "submit" button.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Apr 18 - 01:56 PM

Prepping the Mudcat Tavern for the first of May instead.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Apr 18 - 01:25 PM

Chinese do not use gender specific pronouns for men and women.
They are so efficient they have only one time zone.
The French give the Moon a female gender. Germans don't.

English is a strange but funny mix.


Finishing sentences make a good psychological profile;

Mr. Cohen had no sooner dropped his pants when he reached for the red hot poker and....

The Stanford multi-phasic interpersonal inventory is ...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 18 - 09:10 AM

It's obvious to ME that you need to finish a sentence. Unfinished sentences hang out there, waiting like a wasp for a place to land, usually in your drink or in the salsa or on the nose someone you're talking with. Then you swat it and make a mess.

In the interest of safety, I shall graciously allow a choice of phrases to complete the sentence There are no :

A. jewels under this outhouse.
B. smart cells in the brain of President ____________. (Your choice)
C. reasons to go faster than 12 miles per hour.
D. bullets in this gun.
E. flies on Mom's children!

Pick one. There are no incorrect answers. You will be graded, and strip searched as you leave the testing room.

Oh, yeah, this is a hundred number post.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Apr 18 - 07:19 AM

Consider this: We English-speaking humans use various gender-specific and gender-neutral terms to describe familial relationships. The two people who mated and produced us are our parents (gender-neutral) or our mother and father (gender-specific). We are their children (gender-neutral) or their sons and daughters (gender-specific). If our parents produced other offspring, they are our siblings (gender-neutral) or our brothers and sisters (gender-specific).

But if our parents have siblings, they are our aunts and uncles. There's no gender-neutral term to describe that relationship. And if our siblings have children, they are our nieces and nephews. Again, there's no gender-neutral term to describe the relationship.

But if our gender-specific aunts or uncles have children, they are only our gender-neutral cousins. We have to specify whether they're male or female.

Well, it's obvious to me that we need some new words.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 18 - 09:37 PM

I'll bet none of you knew that Samuel Langhorne "Mark Twain" Clemens had a brother named "Pleasant Hannibal." Pleasant died before he was a year old.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 18 - 05:54 PM

Well, Mom, I'm working up the power point presentation for my thing on Sam Clemens on Saturday. Yes, that Sam Clemens. Your old custom...er, friend. You remember him: riverboat pilot and later you and he went West together to Nevada. He got into some sort of trouble there in Virginia City and fled to San Francisco and then went to the Sandwich Islands and then Back East. You told me once that you kinda lost track of him after that.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Apr 18 - 06:52 AM

For all you quantum addicts https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFrBr8oUVXU

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: C-flat
Date: 16 Apr 18 - 06:46 AM

Just stuck my head in the door, after a very long absence, to find this thread still running 15 years(?) from it's conception....
No one can accuse Mudcatters of being quitters....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 18 - 10:07 PM

I knew you'd say that.

Has anyone heard from Amos lately?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Apr 18 - 02:52 PM

Ah Ha just as I suspected you are one of 'them' clever synthetes in which an enhanced reality includes strange abilities like sensing color by touch without looking or laughing prematurely before life's next surprise.