BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 May 09 - 10:57 PM

I found Rapaire's photo album.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 May 09 - 07:41 PM

I thought it would be more like this.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 May 09 - 06:58 PM

The image I have in mind is more like this:


Much better....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 May 09 - 04:33 PM

Amazing!! That's EXACTLY the image I had in mind!!!



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 09 - 03:52 PM

Kevlar won't stop puncture wounds, like knife thrusts or dog bites. THIS is what you need, especially for dachshunds.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 May 09 - 02:35 PM

Have more time in the day, for starters. . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 May 09 - 02:14 PM

What would we do without each other's brilliant advice?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 May 09 - 02:11 PM

And what you need to do is equip yourself with a full-body Kevlar stocking, toes to hair-do, and live in it forever. That way, if one of your dachshunds gets bitten by a rabid mouse and develops psychotic hydrophobic foaming frenzies and decides to go after you, you'll be fully prepared.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 May 09 - 01:59 PM

What you need to do is sit strapped in your kayak as much of the time as possible. Even eat and sleep in it. Then if the worst happens and you tumble into the sea you will be fully prepared to deal with the situation.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 May 09 - 01:57 PM

We didn't feel a thing! We were enjoying wine and pork roast at a friend's house perched on a cliff high over the Pacific. It's probably a good thing it wasn't closer and larger or we might have tumbled into the sea.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 May 09 - 12:49 PM

Amos, I'm assuming you're far enough south that you're not all shook up this morning? I heard from my brother up in L.A. Seems his dog is well trained in earthquake response. She headed straight for a table to hide under.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 09 - 11:53 AM

I even remember my own wedding: at St. Andrew's Church, Silver Spring, Maryland. The reception was at the Bethesda Naval Medical Center Officers' Club. The party afterwards is a blur, except that my brother pantomimed an automated brewery.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 09 - 11:51 AM

I'm all in favor of weddings, Amos. Especially if there's free food and booze.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 May 09 - 09:36 AM

Oh, humph, Rapaire. Your twisting is in vain. And shame on you for belittling so sacred a moment. Yes, shame!! Humiliation and beet-red embarassment be yours.



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 09 - 08:58 AM

So Amos has a tied satyr, huh? I'm not quite sure what that has to do with a wedding, but it's SoCal, after all....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 09 - 11:52 PM

Amos, not everyone (me, for example) is into bondage.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 09 - 11:32 PM

STAY TIED you belligerent nincompoop banderlogs!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 17 May 09 - 11:03 PM

Sounds like he needs to clean the dust out of the workin's on the "r" key.

Othewise it appaently eally will not wok. If it eally will not wok, it is had to gok what he eally means. I mean, eally!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 09 - 09:49 PM

He's still all "tuckered out". (see Chongo's post for an explanation)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 09 - 09:44 PM

He misspelled "satyr" and "tired", dear.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 17 May 09 - 08:54 PM

Mommy, what's a saty tied?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 09 - 07:07 PM

The wedding went almost just as rehearsed, which was pretty darn good considering the laid-back self-organizing nature of the crowd. The bride and groom are now thoroughly wed. The party thereafter was vibrant and joly and chatty and loud, and a good lot of fine folks had a gay old time. I slept late because I needed to. It is actually quite draining you know, tying a marital knot between young colt and young filly. But they do tend to saty tied when i ties 'em.



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 09 - 05:30 PM

Ah, good day, cher mater! I have, per your instructions, cut the lawn, edged the driveway and sidewalks, trimmed all the grass around the flowerbeds, and now I shall go out and buy some herbicide. There's a great sale on some stuff over at the Army surplus store. You can get a whole barrel for twenty bucks, and it's got the prettiest orange band around it, too! Sure, it's a little old, but the price is right and I'm trying to be as frugal as Amos purports to be.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 09 - 05:09 PM

Good advice; old Jonah suffocated from anchovy fumes, no mistake!!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 17 May 09 - 04:05 PM

Well, being as how that is how I had taken it, it's nice to I correctly got your drift ;^)


Speaking of drift, when you get off shore a bit in that kayak, don't drift into any blowing whales. I hear whale breath is not a subtle perfume.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 09 - 03:48 PM

That was a compliment , just to keep the record clear!! :)


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 09 - 02:50 PM

Janie is also...



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 17 May 09 - 02:29 PM

29,200.

I like zeros. They are so nice and roundish.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 May 09 - 02:00 PM

Be careful with all of the flotsam and jetsam that is no doubt in the water after that remodel at your house a couple of weeks ago. And beg the sea lion's forgiveness for such a disturbance.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 09 - 01:40 PM

It's one thing to be taken, and quite another to be taken in.

My new kayak sits happily atop my Toyota, ready to prove its mettle in the surf of the wide pacific. I quite think it will be most enjoyable.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 17 May 09 - 11:35 AM

That should have been "to take in" instead of "taken."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 17 May 09 - 11:34 AM

It's good, Maggie, but you have to be in the mood. My concentration has to be at top form for me taken both visuals and subtitles.

You can watch it at no cost on Hulu.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 May 09 - 11:31 AM

MOM, get up! Looks like everyone went to Tijuana to check out Amos' vending cart. They'll straggle in later. Won't take long before those premium leather goods reveal their cardboard hearts. . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 May 09 - 02:27 AM

That one is on my NetFlix list. Should I bump it up to the top?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 09 - 01:14 AM

When beauty comes into your life, the date is not important.


Love,


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 16 May 09 - 10:44 PM

Okay, so I'm a little behind the times, but I just finished watching Buena Vista Social Club.











I'll be dancing all night in my dreams.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 May 09 - 10:04 PM

Especially if it's being worn.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 09 - 08:43 PM

Here's a French letter:

ç

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 09 - 06:18 PM

Mon vieux, one does not stamp a French letter. It is simply not done. It would be the act of a barbarian.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 May 09 - 05:47 PM

Amos must be selling French post cards. With the recent increase in the price of stamps nobody could afford to sell French letters.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 09 - 05:08 PM

Some days are just like that Janie. :)

I spent a couple of hours taking the animals over for the annual shot clinic at the fire hall. I took both dogs but left the pit bull in the truck and made Poppy the Catahoula wait in line with me. She barked some and growled a few times but was mostly okay. Now if I'd taken them together they'd have been a handful, even though Cinnamon is better behaved. Cinnamon is the charismatic pit bull, the beautiful red dog with white feet and chest and everyone wants to pet her, not Poppy. That's why it's tough--Poppy is so jealous. I would have needed help with Poppy for the shot if I'd had both dogs, but this way I could hold her myself and she only let out some minor yelps. In years past she's been pretty bad about the noise.

I took Poppy back to the truck and only had to bring Cinnamon to the back door (one time through that long line is enough) and she didn't wait long. She saw the room of people and dogs and was just one huge wag. She saw the vet, it was like old home week. You want to poke me with something? Okay. I'll wag at you for that also!

I made a second trip with the cat. I didn't know how long it would all take, but I figured a dog and a cat in the truck, even with the cat in a cage, wasn't a good idea. Now they're all taken care of for the year but my feet are tired from all of that standing in line.

I asked the vet for a few extra syringes. Rap, you can take them down to the Legion Hall next time you go and give a few of those ol' boys their annual rabies shots.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 09 - 04:39 PM

I would. It would be a sign I was among my own kind, an acceptable source of help.



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 16 May 09 - 04:19 PM

Met with new private client early this morning.

After the person left I discovered I was wearing my pull-over top wrong side out.


Wonder if they will be back.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 16 May 09 - 04:12 PM

Nap.

That's a good idea.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 09 - 04:05 PM

I warn't no lollygagging--walking a mile through Tijuana is hard work!!

But I took a nap.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 16 May 09 - 03:39 PM

All ya'll lollygaggin' on a Saturday while I have been hard at work facilitating the healing of wounded psyches since 8:30 this morning.

Ain't you shamed!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 09 - 02:20 PM

Hey, mah fran', how ya doon? Jawanna belts, hats, mebbe cerveza--come een, welcahm, we got evvything!!!

I asked them to send some Cialis to Rapaire but they said that address had been blacklisted.



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 May 09 - 11:37 AM

Ya think? I think he runs a street taco vending cart in Tijuana.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 May 09 - 10:42 AM

Ah. Now we know where he gets his money and what his job is. He makes trips to Mexico and that can mean only one thing in today's immoral climate: Amos deals in "French Postcards."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 09 - 10:38 AM

Last night I stood on a rocky promontory where the Pacific meets California at the surfer's mecca known as Windansea, my back to the ocean and the wind. Before me stood, meandering or standing to attention, a bride, a groom, four bridesmaids, several groomsmen, assorted well-wishers and relatives. It was a rehearsal for today's wedding. But first I have to go to Mexico. Be right back...



A