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BS: The Mother of all BS threads
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 20 Jul 09 - 12:54 AM Hi MOM. Doesn't look like I was much missed, but that's ok - I wasn't much missing anything or anybody either. Nice, low-key week on the Eastern Shore at Sister Annie's. Did a little kayaking in Assateague Sound while Annie taught Sum Yung Sun the rudiments of windsurfing. Went to see a rather eclectic mix of movies ("Transformers" - awful, but as the Sun said, the whole point is robots and lots of explosions and fight scenes, and there were plenty of all that so he was happy, "Public Enemies", excellent cinematography and very good acting, and the latest Harry Potter - Well-done, but not enjoyable. As the story matured and became darker, I enjoyed reading them less, and so did not enjoy the last two books nearly as much as the earlier books, so it is not surprising that I also did not enjoy this latest movie as much.) Also a day trip to Smith Island, (very nice, and would like to go back and stay a few days in a B&B with another grown-up,), a community crab and clambake at Crisfield and a very fun and relaxing Sunday cruising country roads, historic sites and State Parks in Annie's 1993 Saab convertible. Nice to drive a fine handling car for a change. Actually read a novel cover-to-cover in three days, which I haven't had the time or concentration to do in years. Reynolds Price The Promise of Rest. I had read the first two books of the trilogy of the Mayfield family many years ago, when I still lived in West Virginia, and the scene of all three of the novels is the area in which I have lived in North Carolina for the past 20+ years, so I found it quite satisfying to finish up the series with a geographic and anthropological sense of place. (If you aren't familiar with Reynolds Price, I highly recommend his novels. Complex and richly psychologically realistic characters and lives.) Also a delightful evening at a regular Thursday evening date Annie has with a couple of friends where she plays fiddle, Marion plays hammer dulcimer and Charlie plays guitar and banjo, and an evening with just Annie and me making music together. The absolute best times were on Annie's back porch, with Annie and I sharing and swapping funny family stories with Sum Yung Sun, and deep belly laughs all around. Also did a little plumbing. Both Annie and Sum Yung Sun sleep walk. One of them managed to break the bolts on the tank to the toilet in the main bathroom and also turned off the water to the tank, presumably after observing water pouring through the bolt holes at the bottom of the tank while still asleep. Under Annie's able direction, we reattached the tank the following evening, and decided we would make an effective plumbing duo, mainly because she is right-handed and I am left-handed, she knows what she is doing, and I can follow directions. And now, back to real life. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 20 Jul 09 - 12:28 AM Ooooo--read that last couple of posts after a long day and a glass of wine and it is quite a good chuckle! And Chongo is being so, well, civilized. Hmmmm. . . |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 19 Jul 09 - 09:35 PM Oh, Mom, thank god you're still semi-sober. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 19 Jul 09 - 12:13 PM Neither is as pleasant or delightful as meeting her in person. Not only is she pleasing to the eye, she is a triple black belt in twaekwondo, jui-jitsu, and kendo. An ex-Marine, she revamped the Marines' combat training and then, upon discharge, became a smoke jumper. That led to a career as a Park Ranger, where she not only preserved the Cascades single-handedly, she put the bend in the Big Bend. Although she won't, in her modesty, admit it, she is a dead shot with any small arm and can both throw and use a knife to deadly effect. She is also a highly regarded author and painter, missing the Pulitzer in 2007 by just the slightest amount and the Nobel in 2001 the by the same. Her painting and sculpture (eschewing the lost wax method she sculpts directly to the bronze) are on exhibit in many European galleries and museums. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 19 Jul 09 - 11:30 AM I must say that the image of Ms. Sage, warmly accepting cold brewskis from a hirsute simian wearing a fedora, is ALMOST as delightful as the image of her bathing in moonlight protected by wild dogs... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Date: 19 Jul 09 - 12:14 AM It is definitely the thought that counts...cos the thought is father (and mother) to the deed. That's why I never let a friend down. This is always a good thing to remember when the bullets are flyin' and the clock is runnin' down to the last seconds of the game. Yessir, my friends are the ones that have come through thick and thin and never quit when the goin' got tough. Like Chachi the baboon. Like Nymbel the Capuchin. Like Renata Carson, my human campaign manager and best friend. She stuck beside me in the dark days of the last election. We was shut out and marginalized by the corporate mass media. Our supporters was shut out of the voting booths by a corrupt system. We was confronted with the ugliness of innuendo, rank specism, and false allegations of impropriety, but Renata never quit on me. A friend like that is better than a suitcase fulla gold...or whiskey, for that matter. You gotta keep yer priorities straight in this life, and that means ya don't forget yer friends. Speakin' of which, have another beer, Ms Sage. The drinks are on me tonight. - Chongo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 18 Jul 09 - 11:44 PM (But it is the thought that counts, even if the beer goes somewhat missing between the fridge and the friend) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 18 Jul 09 - 11:43 PM Whoa! Chongo! Another round of beers, and uh, leave the bottle cap on this one so the whole thing gets there. :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 18 Jul 09 - 10:14 PM It just occurred to me: I can't take aspirin, NSAIDs, or stuff like that, but I CAN drink!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Date: 18 Jul 09 - 10:04 PM Ms Sage? Here is yer beer. Fresh and cold, just like ya wanted it. - Chongo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 18 Jul 09 - 09:16 PM MOM! Make 'em stop talkin' that Franch stuff! Ever since Yahoo got ahold of Babelfish it's so slow it might as well be backin' up. I could learn t' talk Franch myself in th' length of time it takes fer Babelfish t' translate somethin'. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 18 Jul 09 - 08:33 PM Ah, it is so nice to be home with my beery sibs. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 18 Jul 09 - 06:13 PM MOM says take it out in the yard. She's tired of all of these big words. She asks if Chongo or Rap will bring her a beer. Me, I've been virtuously playing the ant (or little red hen) and harvesting and putting away food for winter. (I could use a beer. . . ) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 18 Jul 09 - 06:06 PM I shouldn't doubt that about my sister. It's quite possible, given the "life" she leads. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 18 Jul 09 - 05:59 PM C'est point dommage, vieux nourriture des chiens, puis qu' j'l'ai vue plutot que toi-meme, et plus souvent. Ta soeur, elle pisse bleue--va t'en chercher quelquechose a teinter. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 18 Jul 09 - 05:55 PM Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, as I used to say, oui, oui, oui. Better to give the kiss of peace to a Cardinal than to lick up the spittle of harlots and whoremongers. Even with my left arm immobilized I can get any three men to see my point and enjoy my sharp wit, tho' I dally at the same time with a fair lass or two. Meeska, mooska, musketeers...I spit in the direction of your pig-dog ancestors! Monsieur Cyrano can only be felled when timber taps his top. Have you never seen moonlight over Carcasson? Quelle dommage. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 18 Jul 09 - 05:41 PM Scurrilous jackanapes!! Ungodly carrion-monger!! Spawn of unclean life-forms!! You will find yourself called out, sir, by a younger and spryer man, and find yourself re-thinking your hasty words, or my name is not d'Artagnan, and I no Gascon's son!! You are a bootlicker of unseemly cloaksmen, and a kisser of cardinals. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 18 Jul 09 - 04:19 PM Eaten in moderation (as I do all things, of course) there would be no harm in it. Only when taken in excess (which I take in moderation, of course) does a problem arise. If Amos were to reflect in moderation, which of course is impossible for him since he lacks the needed self-control, he would see that I am correct. It is for this reason that I have begun an investigation to prove my thesis that Amos is Shame McBride's long-lost brother or sister as the may be. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 18 Jul 09 - 03:35 PM Fondness for fry bread is considered a major factor in high obesity and diabetes rates among native Americans. Fly Blead would be a much healthier alternative. Flied food is much lower in fat than fried food. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 18 Jul 09 - 10:53 AM I think, on reflection, that you are mistaken. The immediate impact of my plan for Fly Blead would be to entertain and feed thousands of people. In fueling thousands of human brains, if only briefly, my product would enable Great Thoughts and Aesthetic Visions, untold possible combinations of HUman Affection, and possibly even Literary Inspiration. Your theoretical condemnation is groundless, hypothetical, in the face of these substantive benefits. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 17 Jul 09 - 10:26 PM There is no accounting for imagination, as in BeeDub's case, or bloviation, as in Little Hawk's, or in imaginary conceits, as in what's-his-name's. ... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 17 Jul 09 - 09:05 PM How do you suppose someone comes up for the idea for something like either of those? The kernal of the idea? A glimmer of a vision of an astronaut suit filled with pancakes, for example. And then the time and bother to make it look like something. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 17 Jul 09 - 08:43 PM That's one small step for a pancake... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 17 Jul 09 - 08:33 PM EVIL PANCAKE! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 17 Jul 09 - 06:55 PM In and of itself the selling pancakes or any other ware is, at worst, ethically neutral. If you sold an fusion weapon that also spread nerve gas and plague when it was exploded to a terrorist the item, and the sale, would be ethically neutral. It would be the intent of the user and the use to which it was put which would be "good" or "evil." No, it was the marketing plans to create false impressions (or lies) in two countries to which I referred. Anyone who would do that is a follower of...well, evil. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 17 Jul 09 - 05:10 PM Tell me why selling pancakes is evil, oh Master of SIgnifyin'... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 17 Jul 09 - 04:01 PM I always KNEW Amos was evil! He's a marketing executive! No shame, and he's sold his soul to Ee-vil. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 17 Jul 09 - 03:37 PM You could make a killing selling cold pancakes in plastic bags to Japanese markets, and calling it Fly Blead. Just put out the viral message that it is the hottest thing in America at present. Then turn around and sell it through 7-11 claiming the Japanese are crazy about it. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 17 Jul 09 - 03:31 PM And not all bread is baked. There's fry bread, for instance. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 17 Jul 09 - 10:39 AM Don't give them any ideas! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 17 Jul 09 - 08:34 AM Turn those kilns into bakery ovens -- you've got a whole new career ahead of you. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 16 Jul 09 - 10:42 PM I noticed that the makers of Dexpan also make Ornamental™ finials for iron fences. How the hell were they able to register a trademark for the word "ornamental" as applied to finials? All finials are ornamental! Wouldn't that be like registering a trademark for Baked™ Bread? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 16 Jul 09 - 09:59 PM Suppose he were to use Dexpan. Would that cause any problems with your thesis, Amos? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 16 Jul 09 - 06:57 PM BeeDub, I think to claim you got a hole in one of your balls of such size is just sheer braggodocio on your part, no matter what you filled it with. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 16 Jul 09 - 05:48 PM The last time I played golf I shot a 64, figured I wouldn't do any better on the second hole, and quit. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 16 Jul 09 - 04:37 PM I got a hole in one the one time I played golf. The hole was about the size of a motorhome and was full of sand. It was kinda hard to miss. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 16 Jul 09 - 04:26 PM I would say he is much to young for his balls to be sanctioned, Still. At most, he might get a reprimand from Juvie. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 16 Jul 09 - 03:23 PM Is that a PGA sanctioned ball? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 16 Jul 09 - 03:21 PM A six-year-old boy in Michigan used a three wood on an 85 yard shot to make a hole in one. He was using a Sponge Bob Squarepants ball. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 16 Jul 09 - 10:38 AM My mind is in a whirl as I compare and contrast Rapaire's dry didactic message with the image of Stilly bathing in the moonlight, guarded by hounds. Each has its own import, its own burden of life force, its own explanation of how living ought best to be accomplished. I don't think I need to tell you where I come down in this argument. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 16 Jul 09 - 09:46 AM Words of Wisdom: 1. Try not to kill anyone when you're naked. 2. Always wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident. 3. Have 3 pieces of all clothes: one to wear, one in the wash, and one in the drawer ready to wear. 4. Always have six months worth of gross salary in the bank. 5. Never stand on the gunwales of a floating canoe. 6. Get away as they reload. 7. Store blasting caps away from the explosive. 8. If you're driving near a fire scene, try not to crash into the big red trucks if you can help it. 9. Always wear your muffler, mittens, and boots in cold weather even if you don't wear anything else. 10. Always be humble and never confuse others. These are some of the rules I try to live by. Thank you for asking. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 15 Jul 09 - 11:50 PM No mosquitoes, Amos. The lights were off and the running water kept them away. How often do we city dwellers get a chance to stand naked in our yards and wash away the day's cares with shampoo, wash cloth, and a bar of soap? It's quite liberating. I could do it again tonight, but the family is back from vacation so I have a kid in the house who never goes to bed early, even when I tell him to (midnight). The dogs thought I was a little nuts, but they sat out of the splash range and watched to see if there was any food involved in taking a shower. Nope. But they were good company. :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 15 Jul 09 - 11:19 PM I trust, sir, such passages as are presneted as said wisdom do not leave you feeling cornered. There is no question yon manne of Bookes hath a whey with words, and a sensibility to curdle the richest bluid. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 15 Jul 09 - 09:02 PM Well, I hunger for it as Miss Muffett hungers for her curds and whey! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 15 Jul 09 - 04:39 PM I hunger for it, sir, as the marksman hungers for his bird. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 15 Jul 09 - 04:24 PM Well, thank you Amos. That got me this neat little box thingie to post in, which I am doing since I assume you want to read more of my wisdom. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 15 Jul 09 - 04:10 PM PAste this in, Sir, and delight: http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=59418&messages=23392&page=1&desc=yes&RequestTimeout=500#reply |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 15 Jul 09 - 03:55 PM I tried, I tried, I tried, Mom knows, But I timed out continuously. I tried in rains and mountain snows, Timed out! Time out! said the MC. And so I trundled off to lunch Resolving upon my return To try again, to try to a bunch 'Til the "Time Out!" tide did turn. So here I am, all fresh and sweet Like any fair mountain boy I've even washed my hands and feet And I'm Mom's pride and joy. --Ernest Rutherford Gillbladder, Hangtown: U. of Calif. Press, 1906. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 15 Jul 09 - 01:56 PM Across and down the mountain side! Down gullies, hills and ridges! Past Palin, gays, and pickled flight, And phony Richard Bridges! Past migraines and the begging cat, And global warming warnings! And ancient ducks, and cannibuses ANd other thoughts, alarming, Our Mom falls down--she's heard all that! WHat thoughts they have, she's thought 'em! And only I come to her side To keep her from the bottom. Threads on Threads Ben Lifften Mamudder "Songs of A Meandering Mum" Seau, Watt, Lessfinea, Pub. Threadneedle Street, 1897 |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 15 Jul 09 - 09:32 AM Now THAT gal has guts. Poison ivy AND mosquito bites...wow. THAT'S self-control. |
