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BS: The Mother of all BS threads
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 30 Oct 09 - 03:01 PM Actually that was a paraphrase of a childhood poem, in which the little elf-man insists he is just as big for him as the narrator is "for you". I had completely forgotten thatpoem until LH reminded me. I met a little Elf-man once Down where the lilies blow. I asked him why he was so small, And, why he didn't grow. He slightly frowned, and with his eye He looked me through and through. 'I'm just as big for me,' said he, 'As you are big for you!' By J. K. Bangs |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 30 Oct 09 - 02:25 PM Context? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 30 Oct 09 - 01:59 PM Lotsa folks have said that I'm unreal. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 30 Oct 09 - 01:46 PM Little Hawk: "I'm just as real to me," he said "As you are real to you!!" If you want to create big waves in the human playing field, go forth with our blessing. Mom will keep the candle burning in the window for you. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 30 Oct 09 - 01:16 PM And so, as William Shatner works on another epic novel.... As Winona Ryder studies another great script... As Dachshunds everywhere contemplate the joys of gluttonous larceny... As George Bush sets about writing his memoirs.... As Achmed Jan plants another IED on the road to Kabul... We struggle gloriously on toward the goal of 32K!!! Heady times we live in, eh? ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 30 Oct 09 - 01:11 PM Bravo!! Bravo!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 30 Oct 09 - 12:26 PM Musta scared the freds right outta the boy! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Ed T Date: 30 Oct 09 - 11:52 AM Want some content in your thread some nitro in your tea What's all these crazy questions MAOBs are askin' me This is the craziest thread there could ever be its for mega posters, odd reason for it to be Mama told me not to come Mama told me not to come MAOB ain't the way to have fun, no So, open up the window Let some fresh posts into this room I think I'm almost chokin' From the stale big-thread perfume And that lingo they are speakin' 'Bout scared me half to death Open up the windows, sucker Let them catch a real fresh breath [Refrain] Mama told me not to come Mama warned me not to come She said,big-threads ain't the way to have fun, son MAOBs aren't looking for new sons, no The keyboards is blastin' Cobweb's coveing the door I'm lookin' at my Chimp He's pissed -off at the door I seen some secret codes I ain't never seen before Don't know what it is, but No new scrathes at the door [Refrain] Mama told me, mama told me, mama told me Told me, told me MOAB ain't no way to have fun, blah blah , yeah Mama told me not to come Mama, mama, mama told me MAOB ain't no way to have fun That ain't the way to have fun, no That ain't the way to have fun, son That ain't the way to have fun, no Same posters every one, son |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: MMario Date: 30 Oct 09 - 09:58 AM But Amos! Without the ties the rails SINK! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 30 Oct 09 - 09:30 AM No, the ship was back around the 17 K, this gang is laying track. You don't nail rail down to ties at sea. I am sure that is not news to you, but I thought I would mention it. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: MMario Date: 30 Oct 09 - 09:01 AM Perhaps we are on a ship laying track for an underwater railroad, which of couse, will be of immense use after the Dutch/Manatee takeover of the world. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 30 Oct 09 - 12:37 AM Thing is, I can never remember html tricks. Have to go google and study and experiment -it's only worth the effort when I am compelled to gloat about the Tarheel basketball team. Do you love me anyways? And I am confused. Are we on a ship sailing toward the 32 of kay, or laying rail in that direction? Don't misunderstand me. I'm all for mixed metaphors. It is just that I feel so much more emotionally secure when I know what formula for the mixing to follow. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 29 Oct 09 - 11:43 PM |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 29 Oct 09 - 10:01 PM Yes, some nice could be in order, but we really should educate him in the Secret MOAB Code. After he swears a Terrible Oath not to reveal the Secret Code to anyone else, especially the freds and including his fredish (fredian?) relatives. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 29 Oct 09 - 09:27 PM Ah, yes. Just typos, freds it is. And wonderous reading, should our newish Mr. T (or is he Mr. Ed?) go browsing. Some good html tricks in there also, I might add. Very nice. And there's also the secret writing trick. I wonder how long that would work here? Has enough space been taken up so this will look like a suspiciously long space for a short remark? Probably. Okay. I'm finished. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Ed T Date: 29 Oct 09 - 09:25 PM : How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these. Quote, George Washington Carver, Inventor, Educator and Agricultural Researcher, known for his work with products using peanuts, 1864-1943 Agricultural chemist, George Washington Carver discovered three hundred uses for peanuts and hundreds more uses for soybeans, pecans and sweet potatoes. He start popularizing uses for peanut products including peanut butter, paper, ink, and oils beginning in 1880. The most famous of Carver's research took place after he arrived in Tuskeegee in 1896. However, Carver did not patent peanut butter as he believed food products were all gifts from God. The 1880 date precedes all [eanut butter inventors, except the Incas, who were first. It was Carver who made peanuts a significant crop in the American South in the early 1900's. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 29 Oct 09 - 08:27 PM When the toll crept down to sixty-six, The tired sons of Mother Were growing faint and querulous And snapped at one another. Their tongues were sharp, their tempers frayed, As might happen the same to you, And their weary ears were tired of The number, "32". They'd done their turn, worked through the night, And through the follering day. Their backs were sore, their pants were worn, And they still weren't all the way. So you cannot blame those noble folk For feeling sharp, that way. They'd earned it all, in the service of The thirty-two of Kay. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 29 Oct 09 - 06:54 PM The horror. The horror. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Ed T Date: 29 Oct 09 - 05:53 PM Be careful, or DAD might torture you.... tie you and lock you in a room for years with nothing to read but old MOAB endless posts. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 29 Oct 09 - 05:51 PM Stilly, you've been around long enough to know that it's the "freds" with a lower-case "f". But I would be at all surprised at your deduction: "ed" is half of "fred" and the "t" is just camouflage. Although, I suppose, freds might use letters as surnames or hive identification or something. Perhaps "Ed T" is actually telling us he's only half fred, like Spock was half Vulcan. We would have to investigate what the other half was, and given that he dropped the "fr" I suspect one of his parents was FRench and he's ashamed of it. The "t" would have to refer to Tau Ceti, in which direction his other parent came. Now we have determined the "line" to the home planet of the freds! And all thanks to Ed T. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 29 Oct 09 - 05:31 PM Many many people have made MOAB what it is today, not just 3 or 4 of us. And we've seen enough come and go that we should have been onto this latest infiltration before now. It's my guess that Ed T is under the influence of the Freds. He may even be one. Trying to ingratiate himself into the MOAB homestead. I get it now: through the looking glass, seeing Chinga as a male, it's more than a yin/yang thing. It's faulty interpretive software. Be afraid, be VERY afraid--the Freds are getting devious. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 29 Oct 09 - 05:19 PM I was strolling through the park one day On the way to a merry thirty-two kay When I was taken by surprise By a gang of nasty guys Who beat the crap out of me. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 29 Oct 09 - 05:03 PM No, I wouldn't; but I'd miss your more genuine and creative posts. I suppose its a "warts andall" proposition. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 29 Oct 09 - 04:42 PM You'd miss my sardonic, condescending remarks if I was gone, Amos. (grin) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Ed T Date: 29 Oct 09 - 03:21 PM "Virgin baby goldfish cracker poetry?" The urban Cracker goldfish said as he lifted his Eurovision sunglasses |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 29 Oct 09 - 02:56 PM Some do, some teach, and some write sardonic, condescending remarks, old man. Ya pays yer money and you tykes yer cherce. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 29 Oct 09 - 02:17 PM Just think...somewhere out there in suburbia a goldfish is composing heroic poetry that no one here will ever hear! It's sad, really. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 29 Oct 09 - 02:10 PM This must be sort of like the heroic dramas that goldfish in a tank make up about their lives... ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 29 Oct 09 - 01:49 PM The count was down to seventy-eight When the wind began to blow. The red dust flew to the skies on high And ruined our hopes below. The air was thick as an old brick wall And it slammed our bones with pain. And we thought we'd never gain a yard, Or ever post again. And every hand who could even move Was huddled behind a rock As the wind blew through like a hurricane No hand of man could block. We was lying low, ducking from that blow, And we feared we'd starve in the dark. When through the screaming gloom appeared A figure, tall and stark. We heard him scream into that blow, "Goddam your eyes and all!" And saw him stagger to the rail, Stumble, and lurch, and fall. And we saw him scramble and rise again And grab the line and cuss, Hammering down in that screaming squall, "Gimme 32 Kay, or bust!" Then that shadow yelled like a fiend from hell And he grabbed a rail and hauled While his clothes were shredded and his skin was too, By the force of that awful squall. And the hands looked out as that rail went down, And he hammered it onto the ties. And they wept to see old Amos win, Or from wind and dirt in their eyes. So another chain was laid out true In the face of that living hell, And the winds went home, cuz they knew the truth, They'd been beat, any man could tell. So the hands crept out as the wind died down And a couple of chimps joined the fray. And they all turned to with a post or two, For the sake of 32 K. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Ed T Date: 29 Oct 09 - 11:54 AM Indeed he is a bit on the feminine side....but, felt it might toughen up, like Johnny Cash suggested in the song. I had considered adding a bit of Portland mixture to his swill. But, I reasoned it may cause skin irritation, and would take too much time suiting him up with all the safety gear.....the sideshielded goggles, akali-resistant gloves, high waterproof boots and coveralls with long sleeves and full-length trousers and duct taping it all to his boots to keep mortar and concrete off shis furry skin. And, he does wear contacts, and the dust may irritate his eyes. It is a task getting those contacts in and out every day. Now don't get me wrong. The creature can't read that well, expecially with the eye condition. But, I read bed time stories to him each night. He prefers the ones I shared with you, rather than the normal monkey bed time stories....that fill the shelves at Corporate book sellers, like Chapters. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 29 Oct 09 - 10:27 AM Ed, You can name your chimp anything you wish, of course; but let me just comment that names ending in "a" tend to be feminine. Chongo to this day repudiates his sister. She is biding her time, because the last thing she needs in her growing business is an alcoholic simian. Especially one with a gun. But in the fullness of time, Chinga knows, sooner or later, Chongo will appear in one of her bordellos. This is one of the reasons she expanded from Milwaukee to Chicago. And when the despicable sod walks in looking for some hootch or some kitty-action, you know, all her bruisers, bouncers, leaners-on and other henchmen know exactly what they have to do. And they all have copies of a faded family photo. So there will be no mistake, and bones WILL be broken. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 29 Oct 09 - 10:20 AM That's why you have outhouses... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 29 Oct 09 - 09:51 AM Mix a little quick-acting cement in yer chimp's food. Plugs 'em right up and you don't need to depend on Depends. Works good for people, too, but it's kinda rough on the toilet when the plug finally blows loose. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Ed T Date: 29 Oct 09 - 06:08 AM Exactly why I named him Chinga, from yer past posts. I got my Chinga (maybe I could call him currently known as Chinga", CKAC, so as not to confuse you MOAB folks. Let me know) from a salesman at the local feed mill. I first saw him through the car window, he gave me the finger....that convinced me we had to be friends. Kind of treminded me of meeting my wife for the first time. She was fiesty too. Another reason for the name reminded me of my wife, Linda. She ran off with the Watkins man. I didn't notice the affair she was havin' 'til it was too late....but, as I lool back, the signs were there....she was buying so much lemon pie mix, without making any pies...the cupboards full of the stuff. Think I'll pass in reading all the colourful posts you three or four (plus) folks put thogether from the depths of your minds and keys over the past few years. Chinga has to be taken care of....and he just got into a package of prunes....off to Walmart to stock up on diepies. Chinga, not to be confused with yours likes to read my posts on how things works....like rubber and pumps...puts him to sleep. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 29 Oct 09 - 01:31 AM Ed: If you want the straight scoop on Chongo and Chinga, Ed, you're gonna have to read the whole MOAB from beginning to end. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 28 Oct 09 - 11:49 PM Or in other words, Welcome to the Monkey House. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 28 Oct 09 - 10:20 PM Probably just dirt, LH. You should wash your hair more often. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 28 Oct 09 - 10:13 PM Ed - Chinga is a delusional female chimp with serious mental and emotional problems. She imagines herself to be the long lost sister of Chongo Chimp, a highly respected Chicago primate eye (simian gumshoe) who has, as Amos says in his otherwise inaccurate post, "an eye for human broads and whiskey". He also really likes guns and gratuitous violence...as long as there's a good reason for it, of course! Chinga lives in Tijuana, Mexico, and runs a whorehouse there which caters to offbeat sexual tastes, both human and primate. Amos happened to go there on one of his wild weekends south of the border. Every now and then the pressure of maintaining a carefully calculated veneer of pompous suburban intellectuality mounts up on Amos, a trip to Starbucks just doesn't satisfy the nameless yearnings he feels inside, and he sneaks off to the fleshpots of Tijuana, supposedly to get inexpensive dental treatment! There he indulges in carnal pastimes best not even alluded to. He met Chinga on a hot, steamy night in Tijuana, and she enticed him back to her nefarious establishment. There she discovered that Amos could be a useful connection for spreading outrageous innuendo about Chongo Chimp and trying to derail his historic 2008 run for the US presidency. Amos was determined to scupper Chongo's chances at the polls, since the Chongo vote was becoming a growing threat to Barack Obama. Chinga's motives are considerably more shrouded. She definitely wants to extort money from Chongo, but I think there's more to it than that. I think she really yearns for a respectable life and for the family she never had (She was found as an abandoned infant on the doorstep of a Tijuana drug dealer who sold her to the local zoo. As soon as Chinga reached sexual maturity there were a number of unfortunate incidents involving herself and various chimps, baboons, and a floor sweeper from Morelos named Pepe. Chinga was forcibly ejected from the zoo in 1972 and found herself on the mean streets of Tijuana without a peso in her pocket or a pot to piss in, but she proved adaptable. Within three years she had become the madame of a notorious house of ill repute at 69 Pinche Cavron Calle. She is still there and has done rather well for herself, materially at least.) Now, consider what Chinga sees when she looks at the distinguished life of Chongo Chimp, a self-employed dick on the right side of the law who has earned respect and plaudits for his crime-fighting activities in the Greater Chicago area and elsewhere. It is clear that Chinga bitterly envies Chongo and wishes to bask in his reflected glory...or else destroy him and bring him down to humiliation...whichever proves feasible. The fact that Amos is assisting her in that despicable endeavour is deeply sad. I find a tear in my eye just thinking about it... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 28 Oct 09 - 09:53 PM It makes you feel humble, doesn't it? You, not me. Of course. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 28 Oct 09 - 09:41 PM As we come around the stretch with only 88 to go, Mom, I want you to see this retrospective on our planet. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 28 Oct 09 - 09:40 PM Ed, Chinga is Chongo's abandoned heartbroken little sister. Chongo is a flatfoot chimp with an eye for human broads and whiskey. He abandoned Chinga and their mom to go adventuring into the world, lo these many years since. Chinga has sworn he will never allow him into any of her houses of ill repute as a result of this abandonment. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Ed T Date: 28 Oct 09 - 09:30 PM Chinga , that's my boy. Seems like he gets around a lt more than I knew. He must have figured out how to unlatch the door when I'm sleep'in. Never thought of unhors'in him. Will try it tomorrow....if I can get him to stand still long enough. He gets kind of antsy when he's not moving around. Makes it hard for the diaper changes too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Ed T Date: 28 Oct 09 - 09:22 PM Rubber got its present day name from the fact that it could be used to rub out or erase pencil marks. The ear1iest name a rubber translated into "weeping wood". Rubber in its natural state is flexible, elastic, tough, water proof, and impermeable to air. However, it has two major troubles. It gets stiff and hard in cold weather and soft and sticky in hot weather. Charles Goodyear discovered the process a vulcanization which .cured" these two major ills a rubber by heating the rubber with sulfur, which stabilizes the rubber and enhances its physical properties. The word vulcanization itself is derived from 'Vulcan", the god afire. About the same time, as the vulcanization was discovered, methods were developed for kneading of the tough crude rubber (mastication) so that it became soft enough for incorporation of sulfur. These two developments became the foundation of rubber industry. From, Rubber Linings - Answer to Many Problems, by Lalit Mehra, Quality Linings Co, 1998. NACE International |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 28 Oct 09 - 09:22 PM Shouldn't that be "unhorsed by the agents"? And your chimp isn't, by some chance, named Chongo or Chinga or something like that? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Ed T Date: 28 Oct 09 - 09:11 PM Hey, chimp, fella....get off my keyboard. First you write poetry critique drivel, then you fill the thread with a bunch of typos. Sorry folks....I'll put him to bed. Andorsed by agents of the real Ed T. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Ed T Date: 28 Oct 09 - 09:05 PM Jjust proveing that chimps randomly typing can come up with just as profound statements as good old Ed T. Yes, it was my chimp at the keyboard, not me. I will try and keep him entertained elsewhere. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Ed T Date: 28 Oct 09 - 08:58 PM What an utterly delightful poem. Very enigmatic. It reads as if you've always known it. Simple....but, with confounding expectations. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 28 Oct 09 - 07:15 PM The shadows stole along the rails As the day began to wane. And each man and woman solemn swore They'd do it all again They'd undergo the backbreak work, The splinters, dust, and pain, To lay the way to the next of Kay For the mighty MOAB train. And as the rugged, ragged thread Grew longer, post by post, We smiled, although our fingers bled, And traded jibes and boasts We had only ninety-eight to go, One more long night to haul, 'Til we'd see that shining bullet fly, The Mother cannon-ball. So we heisted up and turned back to, And hauled another span. Each one who vowed to see it through, Each woman, and each man, Though fingers worn and eyes were sore And lives in shards did lay, Would post, and post, and post again For the Thirty Two of Kay. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 28 Oct 09 - 07:05 PM You think? Well...it is pretty special, isn't it? Maybe I'll get the Nobel Peace Prize next year for that. Or the Order of Canada. That would sure be nifty! ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 28 Oct 09 - 06:52 PM The snaggliest tooth of them all, the good LH, was indeed the person of whom I spoke. Congratulations, Little Haw. To come so close to the the Thirty Two of Kay is an honor which outshines even Fat Bill the Shat upon whom etcetera. A |
