BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 10 May 10 - 11:57 AM

I still like to write letters and send them in the mail. Mostly I like to GET letters, so I have to write them to receive them. So, although the habit of letter writing may be dwindling, it's not dead yet!

Eiseley

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 May 10 - 12:00 PM

Oh, well, yes...in that sense. I have often thought I might try the next life as a cute girl myself. Women have far better choices in clothing than men these days, and they also often have a better singing range, I think.

The only part that worries me is pregnancy..... ;-)

Winona seems to have avoided that so far.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 May 10 - 12:25 PM

Well, Little Hawk, no need to sit around and stew in jealousy. You are at liberty to wear all the foxy women's clothing you like, and as for your singing range, Rapaire has the perfect answer somewhere in his blades collection.

And you'll never get preggers!! Who could ask for anything more?



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 May 10 - 12:47 PM

You are such a dolt. ;-) Look, man, I am presently committed to life as a male and I shall make the best of it. I was looking ahead to future possibilities.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 10 - 01:49 PM

Genetically, Winona Ryder is still male. Check it if you think I'm wrong -- a blood sample or some saliva will do.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Star Trek Police
Date: 10 May 10 - 02:12 PM

Remember this lovely hermaphroditic image:
Here.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 May 10 - 02:23 PM

Don't be silly, Rapaire. Have you seen pictures of Winona recently? A male does not have the sort of upper bodily structure Winona does unless he has done major cosmetic surgery.

But I'm sure you'll come up with some sort of grotesque explanation. ;-D I await it with calm resignation.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 May 10 - 02:35 PM

Jeeze, here I try to encourage you to fulfill your dreams instead of putting them off, and you just cuss at me!!! Fine, then. See if I try to encourage you anymore!! Even Rapaire would be put off helping an ingrate!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 10 - 03:04 PM

And the problem with extensive upper body surgery is what? It's been and is being done every day. Shame McBride, for instance, has applied for a "gender-bending" operation which will do for him what it did for Winona; he put on his application that he "always felt a woman in a man's body" and would feel "sikolojikly" better if he were changed.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 May 10 - 03:54 PM

Shane feels a woman in virtually everything he touches. Beer bottles, door handles, steering wheels, hamburgers, and some other things we won't mention.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 May 10 - 04:49 PM

SOunds like he never really graduated from the birth canal, psychologically...


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 May 10 - 06:07 PM

His poor mother. No, not MOM. The other mother.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 May 10 - 06:36 PM

I think she passed away some years ago. I'll have to ask him, in a diplomatic way, of course.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 May 10 - 07:03 PM

"Hey, Shane--yo mommmma's daid, right?"

Or something like that.

Don't worry about hurting his feelings. Figments have no intestinal delicacy.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 10 May 10 - 08:30 PM

You may have to break the news to him, LH, in case he doesn't know already. If so, I urge you to do it gently, like the character in one of Charles Dickens' books: "Your mother is sick, your mother is dying, your mother is dead."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 10 - 09:43 PM

Wait until he's standing with some friends. Let's say the group is made up of Bob, Tom, Jim, and Shame. You say, "Hey, any of you guys have living mothers? No, no, not you Shame." Or you can ask him, "Hey, how does it feel when your mother's dead?" Be subtle, because you wouldn't want to hurt whatever passes for his feelings, assuming he has any -- I've heard rumours that when his biology class pithed a frog they missed and got you-know-who.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 10 May 10 - 10:36 PM

And here I was, worrying that I would get too far behind the drift to catch up.....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 May 10 - 10:58 PM

It drifts pretty deep here, Janie, like a batch of high quality compost. Dig through, sift it around, enjoy it. :)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 10 May 10 - 11:34 PM

And be sure to read the really great stories Rapaire wrote.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 10 - 12:47 AM

If it turns out that Shane's mother IS dead, we should all send him sympathy cards, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 10 - 09:46 AM

I think we should all send HER congratulations cards.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 May 10 - 10:21 AM

Wait--this is all wrong.

Shane is an imaginary projection of Little Hawk's internal Disheveled Self.

His mother and father were both Little Hawk. Unless he delegated one of the hats to Chongo.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 May 10 - 11:20 AM

So we send her *IMAGINARY* cards.


yeesh--- I guess MOM may have raised at least one dummie....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 10 - 12:17 PM

Your whole flippin' existence is an imaginary projection, Amos. And no one else could possibly have come up with it except for you, so I understand why you cleave to it so faithfully. ;-)

Ask yourself sometime what you would DO if you didn't have people like me and Rapaire to joust with here, and if you didn't have this silly thread to expound on daily. You know what I think? I think you'd be sitting, sweaty and disheveled in some sweltering cabana in the Caribbean, rolling contraband cigars, and surrounded by your long-suffering wife and about 18 brown-skinned progeny. Your view of the world would be summed up in one simple set of phrases: "Hijo de puta! Es muy caliente hoy. Da me otra serveza, mujer!"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 May 10 - 01:11 PM

And this would be bad because....?



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 May 10 - 01:30 PM

I thought it had been established that we were all nothing but Turing programs on Max's computer? And Max is a delusion of Khandu's?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 10 - 01:52 PM

Ha! ;-D Great answer, Amos.

Mario, I think that sounds quite plausible.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 10 - 02:58 PM

All of which is true, except that you have overlooked that Khandu is MY creation and without me there is nothing at all, for I created everything. I had special reasons for creating Amos; he is destined for a Special Purpose.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 May 10 - 03:06 PM

While I agree with the Special Purpose part, I think it is MOST presumptuous of an identity like "Rapaire", only lately coughed out upon the carpet of Mudcat Life by a one-time library director, to be given such arrogant lines to assert.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 10 - 03:26 PM

He doth fantasize large. Gigantic, in fact.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 10 - 07:12 PM

Either fall down and worship me, LH, or I'll poke my "finger" into your pre-frontal cortex. Amos, like Shame, has a Special Purpose.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 May 10 - 12:50 AM

I think you are both possibly going to fall down, for different reasons.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 12 May 10 - 01:28 AM

pssst....let's celebrate....drinks and dinner on me.


I have a new job!







Not to be impolite, but it would be best if Shane did not show up for the party. I'll make it worth his while to stay gone.....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 12 May 10 - 01:32 AM

In case you wondered, that last post was a prime number. 'Tis a shame prime numbers are not more rare.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 May 10 - 09:26 AM

IF prime numbers were not more rare, they would be well done, yes? And though to "catch" a prime is indeed well done, prime numbers are better off more rare. They are more tender that way, and more special.

They do become less frequent as numbers become larger. I think it's because large size can reduce reproductive efficiency.

They taught us that in Ecology 101.

r possibly they become more rare as they grow larger because of population pressure.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 May 10 - 09:29 AM

"The so-called Geezer Bandit hit his ninth San Diego-area bank Tuesday, the FBI said.

The man, presenting a demand note and flashing a revolver, robbed the Bank of America branch in Santee. A reward of $16,000 is being offered for information leading to an arrest in the string of robberies that began last summer.

The FBI gave the robber his nickname because he is believed to be between 60 and 70 years old. Sometimes he has a plastic oxygen tube leading from his nose.

-- Tony Perry in San Diego

Photo: "Geezer Bandit" on surveillance camera. Credit: FBI
" (LA Times)


Rapaire:

Look, if you are that hard up for money, let's talk. Maybe we could find you some part time work bagging for Henry's. But let me know the next time you plan to be in town. I'd hate to miss you, and there's a 16K reward for information.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 10 - 10:15 AM

I've labored long and hard for bread
For honor and for riches
But on my corns too long you've trod
You fine-haired sons of bitches
                  --The Po8

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 10 - 10:20 AM

Here I lay me down to sleep
To wait the coming morrow,
Perhaps success, perhaps defeat
And everlasting sorrow.
Yet come what will, I'll try it once,
My conditions can't be worse,
And if there's money in that box,
'Tis money in my purse.
             --The Po8

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 May 10 - 10:27 AM

"Black rotary dial phones on each floor."

On each floor? We had one on the kitchen wall which my father refused to buy for $5 when Ma Bell was broken up. Yup - still paid the monthly rental fee for years and years.
The phone was installed in 1952; the house was sold in 1998. That phone was worth more than the house but Dad left it on the wall insisting that the phone company (he hated the phone company) had to send someone to get it. They never did.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 May 10 - 10:40 AM

I remeber the first time we were traveling and encountered phones that had to be dialed...up until that time the only phones I knew had live operators. IN fact, several of the operators were relatives so we didn't even have to know numbers.

"Hi! Aunt Vi? Can you connect me to Aunt Louise?"

or "Aunt Nora, I've been trying to reach Gramma, can you connect me?"

Being able to DIAL a phone was so futuristic!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 10 - 11:47 AM

My first phone. My second phone.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 May 10 - 12:44 PM

Welcome to the Mother of all BS, SINS. Good to see ya in these parts.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 12 May 10 - 01:04 PM

There was a dial telephone at the nurse's office in the elementary school. My friend who was an aide walked by and saw a little boy sitting inside just melting with tears. She walked in and the poor little sick boy was sobbing because he had to call his mother and he didn't know how to work the telephone. He had absolutely no idea that he had to stick his finger in at a number and pull the dial around until it stopped.

That may have been one of the last rotary phones in Idaho.

Eiseley

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 May 10 - 01:04 PM

Well lackaday; she fit in so well I didn't even Notice that Miss Maniac had come to call.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 May 10 - 01:58 PM

That is a sad picture, Ms Eiseley. I guess, of course, it is the sign of changing times, but I still had to do a double-take. Not know how to work a rotary phone? Wow... I might have felt the same way confronted, at that age, with a Marconi telegraph key, I suppose. And, I guess, I would have melted with tears too, in that situation. But not now--no, sir!! I would just ask someone.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 May 10 - 02:03 PM

Taking a look here, I see that I have not posted in quite some time, relatively speaking.


Did you miss me?   ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 10 - 02:44 PM

Yeah, but with a little more practice I should be spot on the next time.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 10 - 02:45 PM

2.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 10 - 02:45 PM

35553! What a palindrome!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 10 - 02:54 PM

And while not prime, it's certainly rare and well-done.